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12:53 AM
0
Q: How to tell about a deal-breaker without it sounding like an ultimatum

oscarI started dating someone new. It's going well, but she has one habit that's a deal-breaker for me. The actual thing is a bit more serious, but I'll make up a silly example. Say she is an hour late to every date. She knows it's bothering me and apologizes every time, but she doesn't know how much ...

 
 
4 hours later…
4:59 AM
Morning :)
 
5:12 AM
I just view the new Faq about the new CoC. Everything seems nice and quiet (and over control) on MSE. So this sounds like a good day \o/ <3
Let's have some cuteness to celebrate that! <3
 
@Ælis why are you awake already? :p
I just arrived to work!
 
@avazula My anxiety drug makes me sleep all day, but doesn't prevent me from waking up at 6am >< Hopefully, today will be a little better since I only take half of my anxiety drugs (don't worry, the doctor said I could do so)
@avazula Also, why are you at work already! :p (just joking, I know you like to go to work early)
 
I'm glad to know you'll be able to take less today, in the sense that I hope it'll make things better!
I love working when there's no one there already :p
 
Let's hope it does make things better. Having anxiety for mostly nothing is no fun, but sleeping all days really makes you feel like you are already dead (because you don't have time to actually live since you are too busy sleeping)
@avazula I completely understand that. I don't mind too much having some people around, but the minute they start talking, I want to kick them out. "I'M TRYING TO FOCUS HERE!!!" :p
2
 
@Ælis Yeah, I remember being depressed and sleeping all the time, thinking my life was pretty empty. I guess it really is a matter of finding the right pills and having good healthcare support. I really hope it'll get better soon, but you know that already <3
 
5:23 AM
@avazula <3 <3 <3
 
Does it feel good to be at home now?
 
@avazula Mostly yes. I don't have to worry about feeding myself (because people are cooking for me, which makes it easier for me to actually eat something). Plus, if I want to change my mind, my family can help me do that
 
that's nice :)
 
I hope you are good too? @ava
 
I'm good. I sleep better. I'm trying to find new long-term projects.
 
5:34 AM
Arf, finding long-term projects sounds like a hard thing to do. Good luck with that!
 
I'm still figuring it out :) thanks
 
@Ælis: Sounds like a lot is going on on your end :o
 
@dhein Yeah, switching drugs for your depression and anxiety is really not fun at all. The worst part is: the last one was working kinda-mostly but I wanted something that would work "for real" and I don't even know if this new one will do. If it doesn't, I'm pretty sure I would go back to the last one who wasn't efficient enough (in some case). So it would be like I have lived hell for a month for mostly nothing...
 
5:56 AM
@Ælis Well, you would have lived hell for a month, not for nothing, but for possibly finding a way to improve your life :) For my personal values, thats always worth. :)
 
@dhein Thank you for this way of seeing things <3
 
Honestly.... I feel offended by that comment....
 
@dhein it's good to go. Therefore it's gone :D
 
Thank you :)
 
@dhein As someone asocial, I would just disconnect the blo*dy doorbell (and tell people to phone me if they want in)
 
6:23 AM
@Ælis: Hahaha, yeah I considered that, too. But a) I don't know how that works, as the system has no to me apparent way of being turned off, and is digitally just wired into the wall. And b) remember the conversation we had like a year ago about you feeling uncomfortable about just turning off your phone, cause you could miss something? Its same for me about doorbells '^.^
You could miss a package, or the police wanting something important or something like that :P
Thanks for your edit :)
And hey Imus :) Thanks for your answer aswell. I think I will implement it the one way or the other. Just want to see if other answers are going to be suggested.
 
@dhein True that! I don't have packages delivered at my home, that's why I didn't think about it
@dhein You're welcome :)
@avazula Your comment was indeed nicer than mine ^^
 
Hahaha now I am curious what yours would have been. But lets not get toxic and leave me with my curiosity :D
 
@dhein It's not really toxic and it's in the closet if you want to: chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/52251783#52251783 ^^
Mine was just, not really tactful :p
 
hahaha well on my side it is toxic if I want to see it :P
 
Ugh, and now I get an unfriendly one after writing a nice answer to their question...
 
6:31 AM
Oh gosh... I hate it if people play moralizer...
@avazula yeah....
 
darn it, world! :p
 
@avazula See, you should have leave my not nice one :p
 
I am so tempted to just respond "You see, we never learn out..." x'D
 
@dhein You can do that in the closet. The bot might response to you :p (just avoid doing that on main ^^)
 
@Ælis How to do that? I mean for venting it might fulfill the purpose doing that '^.^
Its dead Jim :O
 
6:35 AM
@dhein The closet is here: chat.stackexchange.com/rooms/63296/the-closet and, sometimes, the bot will answer when you talk to it
 
@Ælis But I think just having mentioned that I am tempted to write that did the venting already :3
@Ælis But hasn't the bot to first mention the comment here and then it had to be moved there before I could respond to that there?
 
@dhein No, every comments are "stored" in the closet but someone of them are also displayed here
 
ahhhh :D
 
Alright, I'm out, need to do stuff with my life (hopefully not sleeping) ^^
 
JAD
good morning
 
6:41 AM
Huh, that felt good, indeed :D
 
6:51 AM
@JAD Morning!
 
JAD
Since moving, I've been wanting to restart my model railroad, and yesterday the package finally arrived :D
 
They look nice!
 
JAD
7:12 AM
:)
The blue one are the trains that serve between Amersfoort and Ede-Wageningen. Nice close to home :)
 
@Ælis Enjoy your day :)
@JAD Blue is my favorite colour, so I would hop on that one :P
 
7:32 AM
Morning :)
 
@dhein They're nice trains. Though IIRC they don't have laptop tables or contact points for your laptop charger...
 
Well I took the time to read the new Q&A and it's heavily based on the community one so I think it's fine. What I also think is that most people who don't take the time to read the on-topic FAQ won't take the time to read this FAQ either
And many of the users don't actually use the Meta anyways
 
JAD
7:45 AM
@Tinkeringbell these definitely don't. Doesn't fit ;)
 
good morning everyone, how are people :)
 
Very distracted.
 
oh? how so
 
Talking in three chatrooms, instead of actually working :P
 
haha i rate that. I'm lucky in that my job officially starts at 8:30 but doesn't really start until 9
 
7:50 AM
Oh, and I'm supposed to be downstairs for a cup of tea with mom now. waves see ya soon :)
 
have fun! cya around
 
JAD
3 mins ago, by Tinkeringbell
Talking in three chatrooms, instead of actually working :P
but tea is fine ;)
 
@JAD x'D
 
is that the tea
 
8:12 AM
Well, I reviewed it and it was declined but later put on hold for the same reason as my flag :) so how I can be better next time? XD
 
JAD
uh oh
@CaldeiraG maybe/possibly a mistake. Unless it happens more often, just carry on
 
@JAD Yeah, i'm not complaining, I got several honest mistakes over on SU
The message should know I already saw that
 
JAD
Can also happen if enough people vote leave open in the queue, but the question still gets closed without the queue afterwards
 
Like a button on the flag saying I understand or smh
 
@CaldeiraG It got automatically declined by Community. Not really sure why
You flagged a post for recommending its closure but it only happened three days after, that may explain it
 
JAD
8:16 AM
@avazula I guess it went through the close queue and was left open, declining the flag
 
that's what I think too
 
Yeah probably
 
JAD
@CaldeiraG sorry, no mods to yell at :P
 
I don't worry too much :D
@JAD :p
flagging is my second hobby :D
 
that's a nice history
 
JAD
8:20 AM
so many aged away D:
 
Normally aged away questions just stay in the wild, nobody answers or reviews it
 
8:47 AM
aged away is way high
^my flags on physics
 
@AlexRobinson If you go ask there they will say that's rookie numbers XD
nice :)
 
yee physics is pretty well run rn but I believe we've lost some long standing moderators - understandable but still sucks
 
@CaldeiraG Hey, everyone's gotta start somewhere.
 
9:07 AM
@CaldeiraG I only have 18 flags here. That's what rookie is.
 
@user58 Sure :) I checked your question earlier about "formalizing" a discord server and found it interesting :D
I do moderate communities there too and really creating channels for specific themes is pointless
@NogShine Go flag! :p
 
Honestly, I really like SE chat works: It's basically one room where everything happens, one for each site / community. (Also, they have replies. There is nowhere else that has sane replies.)
3
 
JAD
@user58 slack has decent replies system
 
no, it branches off into a different thread thing
annoying as heck
 
JAD
that can be a nice feature in a busy room tbh
 
9:28 AM
the convenient thing about discord is being able to create different channels. say one for general, one for discussing new questions / answers, a moderation channel etc.
additionally, you can create "roles" that can either be functional or just display info - like you could create an opt-in "notify me of new questions" role, or have pronoun roles
 
SE just needs roles and Spotify integration. Oh, and dark mode. ;)
3
 
commment scripts :p
 
@user58 There is a dark mode for the SE (userscript) (chat I don't think so), but I hate that dark mode
 
It's a userscript.
So... if I'm, say, looking at the Tavern at night, my eyes get burned out of my head.
 
Basically
 
JAD
9:33 AM
I just use Darkreader plugin on my browser
 
can't put that on my phone
 
JAD
ah :/
 
A J
@user58 That will just make me spend more time on SE. ;)
 
just don't use SE when you're supposed to sleep and bright in day is fine :)
 
don't start getting all reasonable on me
 
9:36 AM
okie dookie
@EmC so the question was closed as duplicate by community, and I flagged for someone to fix the reason from off-topic to dupe.
 
JAD
@ankii not really. I get headaches from light screens, even at daytime.
 
oh I use night mode in the day... actually full day. It remains on from 10:00 to 9:59
 
I always use dark mode whenever possible
 
A J
@ankii To feel like Batman? :P
 
@AJ haha, I wish it was as cool as it sounds
it should've been "yellow filter" to be honest
 
9:41 AM
windows night mode is fantastic
 
I use dark mode whenever it's possible
@AlexRobinson Dark mode is pretty good, night light I don't really appreciate it
I would rather change my settings on the monitor so it doesn't burn my eyes
 
I also have safari extensions, all my Xcode VScode are black, reddit is black, messenger is black,, mail.app is black But safari and thus websites feel fine to me when yellow in the day and black in the night.
Too many websites misbehave with extensions
and all of them have those settings hidden really deep, so too lazy to fix it
 
@user58 You have the same in every other IM app, you don't have replies on Discord though but mainly i just ping the person or use a blockquote
 
By the evening, I might post a transformation photo of Twinkle.
but she doesn't go along well with Dumbo
 
10:26 AM
@CaldeiraG i don't mean dark mode, i mean the night mode where it makes everything less blue / more orange
 
10:43 AM
@AlexRobinson night light? (sun symbol on the side bar)
 
yes! it is night light @CaldeiraG
its brilliant. I have to look at two monitors all day and it makes my eyes hurt less
 
11:06 AM
@AlexRobinson I also have 2 monitors at home but I keep the 2nd screen off for the same reason while my main one I have a mode on the monitors that darkens the screen so it's easier on the eyes; the 2nd screen is just a regular VGA monitor with weird configurations so I only use it when necessary
Preserves the colors which night light puts a orange-ish filter on it; it's just if you wanna keep on the web for a while but anything more color-dependant is not an option
A ultrawide is what i'm considering next :D
 
thats smart
i really wanna get a G sync ultrawide for my home setup but my wallet said no
i think that comment has a decent basis but it misses the point
 
11:59 AM
@AlexRobinson G-sync is more of a extra than anything given that you can have G-Sync with FreeSync too
Freesync will usually be cheaper
 
oh yeah for sure. I just want a nice main screen so i can use my current 1080p144 monitor as a secondary to help out my streams :)
 
Morning
 
good afternoon!
 
12:30 PM
Afternoon
Temperatures started dropping here, and I feel like a snow monster
You could see icicles on my skin now
 
god i love snow and can't wait for it
 
I love snow when I'm not freezing
Are you the same Alex, or are you another Alex
 
12:47 PM
I absolutely unreservedly freakin' hate the cold.
 
i don't know who this "other Alex". I'm the Alex thats been active here about a week
@M.A.R.
 
@user58 Grump
@AlexRobinson Oh, there's another Alex
 
Yep. In the winter, I'm a grump.
 
I like snow a lot more when I don't have to commute in it
 
12:59 PM
Chat truncated your name so I just saw "Alex"
@user58 Binter Wash hater
 
I like snow in theory. It is pretty and fun for children. But then it is cold and it gets into crevices and it makes commuting a pain and the runoff causing flooding and it turns yellow and brown and black and becomes ugly.
 
as long as I get hot water all day, i like winters more than summers
 
Winters are cold and wet and dreary with no sun.
 
cold is a good motivator to start knitting again :P
 
I also have a mild form of Raynaud's so that doesn't make things easier
*shrugs* The doctor took one look at my hand and was like "yeah, that's Raynaud's. There's no cure, just avoid getting cold".
 
1:12 PM
so it is just a more severe form of what happens to other people?
I read a little further and that seemed to be more the case...
 
I guess
so like my hands will go numb at much higher temperatures than most people
heck, it's eighty degrees outside and it's harder to open and close my fingers than it was all summer
 
ohh yeah that isn't what I understand most peoples experience to be.
 
(This means I'm often highly caffeinated during the winter, because... hot mugs. :P)
 
I am highly caffeinated because... Do you really need a reason to want to be highly caffeinated?
 
@EmC It's almost cold enough here to bring the Sophie (crochet blanket) out of storage and finish it this winter.
 
A J
1:22 PM
Evening!
 
@Tinkeringbell ooh, how much do you have left to do for that?
 
@AGirlHasNoName Well... I prefer not going to the bathroom all day, so...
@AJ 'fternoon
 
@AJ morning! ;)
 
@EmC I was pretty far, I believe...
Another 20-30 rounds, perhaps?
 
@AGirlHasNoName That went dark too fast
 
1:26 PM
But they're getting big!!
 
@M.A.R. add milk
 
Nah, I'll let you take over
Haz banana milkshake
 
who is this other Alex
i need them to join the collective of Alex's :)
 
Oh, that's nemesis talk
 
1:27 PM
BRING TO ME THIS ALEX
 
I saw the other Alex in TREU recently, but nowhere else.
 
you know the borg from Star Trek? we're like that... but Alex's
 
A J
> Teacher: If there are three apples in a basket and two of them got rotted. Then how many apples are left?
Student: 3.
Teacher: Don't you know how to calculate?!
Student: They'd still be apple. They won't become kiwi after rotting, will they?
Someone sent me this joke. I thought why should I suffer alone. So, I shared it. :P
 
@user58 ASSEMBLE THE MINIONS. I WANT THIS MORTAL FOUND AND BROUGHT TO ME.
 
minions are freaky
 
1:30 PM
Minions are evil.
 
they're despicable
 
@user58 they make a product for that...
 
....
 
Dia . . . I mean shorts.
 
1:31 PM
Diamonds. Yes, diamonds.
 
@M.A.R. It always gets dark faster in the winter. Thanks for pointing that out too.
 
Lol, 58's body temperature is rapidly increasing
@AGirlHasNoName I always science person
 
I just put on a sweatshirt. Then again, I also just put on Lycra, because I'm about to head out cycling.
 
Doing Mission Impossible stunts in front of tanks
 
1:33 PM
I avoid the firing range after they yelled at me for biking there
 
Just . . . Don't play The Mummy.
@user58 it's embarrassing to have their shells dodged
 
(and they should really mark it as being a firing range from where it converges with the bike trail....)
@AGirlHasNoName that's it I'm out
 
Ow, that brings terrible memories actually
 
>< sorry
 
I'm convinced hell is not hot but the bathroom is far away.
@AGirlHasNoName Meh
I joke about terrible memories
Or wait for this one. The remote is on a shelf and there's an antique selling show on TV
God should hire me for hell design ideas
 
1:37 PM
Well I don't want my jokes to chase anyone away.
 
58 is just too tired from moderating the Tavern 25/8/366
BTW @user58 I sometimes slip and almost use your last nickname, I dunno how OK or how wrong it is
 
@M.A.R. are you badmouthing Antiques Roadshow >:o
 
@M.A.R. Unless explicitly stated otherwise, always assume old names are dead and should not be used.
 
@EmC Probably not since I don't know any antique selling shows
 
old usernames are literal deadnames
 
1:40 PM
@AGirlHasNoName Well I'm just looking for a confirmation. It wasn't their real name but I kinda do half-guess why 58 had to change their name :/
 
I'm headed out. Sorry again @user58
 
@M.A.R. hahah ok. I used to watch that as a kid - it was kind of fun. QVC on the other hand...
(it's basically an entire channel of infomercials)
 
Exactamundo
Now someone is sitting on the remote in a room of 30 people and you don't know who.
 
"simon says, stand up!"
 
i will metaphorically take a stand by literally taking a seat
 
1:44 PM
hmph
I guess @M.A.R.'s plan works, then ;)
 
Oct 19 at 19:35, by ankii
i forgot WHY I CAME IN THIS ROOM.
ah the AppleScript! need to talk to George
 
@ankii Gaussians
And Klingons
 
@ankii I think this spell reminds me about the thing forgotten. ^^
well this feature is annoying, got pinged.
@M.A.R. using the word Gauss automatically refers to a huge part of maths that seems unrelated to me.
So which one are you talking about?
 
I dunno, you tell me
 
filters?
 
1:51 PM
Gaussian air conditioning
 
Laplace was pointy, Gauss made it soft.
Fun fact: Apple site has no [badge:legendary] user. :(
 
@ankii They're still on their quests
Gathering epic loot
 
yeah sure they are.. But without, HNQ, no answer gets above 5-6 votes
 
0
Q: How do you win her heart? I want you to tell me the order of love

rogerSince I am Japanese, English may be strange. Please ask if you do not understand the meaning. A while ago, I met a very nice woman at the bar. For the first time in my life, I took courage and challenged myself to speak to women. The woman is from the Netherlands and her smile is very nice. In p...

 
@ExtrovertedMainMan what is love?~
 
2:00 PM
@EmC Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more
 
I opened it up to edit the title but now I can't think of a good one
 
yeah the title is clunky and i was thinking of editing it myself
 
@ankii Apple not in HNQ? That's new for me
 
also there's a lot of fluff in the body. i'm sure this person does like their smile and eyes but it doesn't add a lot to the question
 
@CaldeiraG I mean without any question going to HNQ...
 
2:03 PM
@ankii Oh, I see
 
also; this question is a bit confused... its asking for general dating advice at the bottom, but half way through the body it wants advice for dutch dating
 
@AlexRobinson When you're in love, you love everything about them, once you get into phase 2, you'll hate everything :p
@AlexRobinson My understanding is they doesn't want to rush things like it's done on Japan? Or they are afraid about telling them on the 3rd date
 
i really really hate to do this but
you're assuming pronouns here
 
when you're in love / you're in love all the way / from your first cig-- oh wait that's not how that goes
3
 
@AlexRobinson Came out of it naturally, sorry :(
I'm still practising about the gender-neutral thing
 
2:06 PM
its ok! it does take time but you've still missed a he on your second message
I do suspect you're right with the pronouns but we can't assume
 
Can we talk about how lame the "Order of Love" sounds? I mean, there's "Order of the Phoenix" and "Order of the White Five-star Mystic Dandelion thingy" or "Order of the Awesome Badass Assassins 9000" and then there's . . . "Order of Love"
 
Fixed :)
 
apple.stackexchange.com/posts/373176/revisions This is our recent HNQ, see edit by fsb
 
nice
i do fully see that the question mentions a woman so it does mean the asker is most likely male, but
 
@ankii That was a big edit there
Atleast they apologized for the rant
 
2:08 PM
On that note, Japanese people talking English is awesome
It's just such an oddly beautiful mix, no sarcasm
 
100% agree MAR
 
^^
 
It's if Wookie did the talking and Han Solo did the driving.
 
i really wanna write a devils advocate answer along the lines of "if dating was this easy, being single would be more rare" but i feel that wouldn't really be helpful
 
If Arnold Schwarzenegger was James Bond
If Heath Ledger was alive to coop with Tom Hardy in The Dark Knight Rises
OK that'd have been a bit too awesome
 
2:12 PM
quick question: if someone has posted an answer in the comments of a question, what do we flag it as
 
JAD
no longer needed
 
thank you ^^
 
JAD
jeez, if I didn't know better, I'd mistake this comment section for a blog entry: stackoverflow.com/a/58516119/6822618
 
which comment? you've linked an answer
OH that comment
 
JAD
yep, you'll know it when you see it
lol
 
2:28 PM
the one that looks like a blog entry
 
That's a big block of text lol
Certainly a blog entry
 
i just need to make 5 more edits before i can downvote
 
Today I finally learned how to use CROSS APPLY and it's so nice :D
 
2:52 PM
Ooh big news! The gf decided to go all out and setup an Instagram for Finley. So if you've been craving more pig pics, @finleythepiggy is where you'll get 'em :p
 
i just answered a question on physics SE... along with two others... we all answered within thirty seconds of eachother
 
@DaveG Thank you for checking. Well, the meaning of "confess" is to tell you I love you. For example, "I want you to go out with me." Do you understand my text? — roger 47 secs ago
The confession and the example seems very different from each other :p
 
3:16 PM
@CaldeiraG We do use the same word in French, "to confess love", thence I'm not usrprised
 
It's a saying in English too. Granted I mostly see it in the context of Japanese culture, I've seen it sometimes used in other cases
 
i honestly feel like the asker wants to express love but is having a bit of a hard time with the language barrier and is unfortunately being a bit unclear because of that
 
3 messages moved to Trash
 
3:32 PM
@AlexRobinson IIUC they want help with how to confess, but that's still very broad
 
it is a bit of a mess but i don't think its irrecoverable @avazula
 
3:48 PM
@AlexRobinson For it to be on topic, we'll need OP to tell us about the situation, what they've tried so far in order to show their feelings to this person, and why they think "simply telling them" wouldn't work. Right now it's just really too broad :)
 
yeah you're right. I think i'm trying to imply information that isn't currently there
 
4:11 PM
@AGirlHasNoName Don't worry, I wasn't being entirely serious
@M.A.R. Preferably not but meh
 
I want good news and happy stuff. Does someone as that for me?
2
Also, I just decided to abuse my RO powers for that. But I really nice happy stuff
 
good news! you're here in TAS
 
@Ælis I have a happy thing, there are two doggos in the hallway outside my office right now :D
 
@EmC Pictures?
 
ah sorry they were moving too fast and now the owners walked them away
 
4:23 PM
@Ælis check out the Finley insta! :P
 
@EmC You shall send then a picture of your cat(s) instead :p
 
@Ælis aye aye, cap'n
 
@scohe001 Where is it? (also, you made an insta for Finley? x) )
 
@scohe001 I posted about it up here silly! lol
 
user image
4
^ that's the most recent Juno pic (from when we got home from our trip, and she was watching over us as we watched a movie)
 
4:26 PM
@EmC What a royal position!
@scohe001 Guess I choose the wrong day to not read the transcript :p
 
I'm biased but I think it's super cute when she folds her paws like that <3
and there's Willie watching birds or something in the backyard
 
Very nice, thank you! <3
 
happy to help :D
 
 
2 hours later…
6:38 PM
0
A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

ÆlisAsking to be made aware of a surprise because of anxiety issues work-environment autism-spectrum mental-health I'm on the autism spectrum and I have anxiety issues. Doing unknown things in an unknown place terrifies me. From time to time (~twice a year) my workplace would organize a "team-bu...

 
I'd hold my temptation to close a question just because it is on 4 close votes ^^
 
@ankii Better to close and keep an eye out for good edits that allow reopening?
 
okay.. atleast they weren't greeted with downvotes. :)
@Tinkeringbell and wait what!
the first voter did so because of a minor clarification!
and as for specific goals,, I am editing them in rn
> Is it good to say "cute" or "beautiful" when playing with her?
can playing mean dating here? Or is it the usual playing?
 
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