« first day (504 days earlier)   
01:00 - 08:0008:00 - 21:00

8:00 AM
And they're mostly normal loans, some of them private and/or adjustable interest rate. I know someone who is paying 8.9% interest on their largest student loan.
 
@apaul How to interact with a dog at birthday parties? :P
 
You have to repay them like normal loans, that means unless you get deferment or other programs they can seize your property and/or garnish wages for it, and student loans are non dischargeable in bankruptcy, so you can never get rid of them
 
@Jesse: But also that post is for me not clear, if OP is actually worried about the loan perse, or the fact, that OP is having such a huge dept and hasn't ever mentioned in the past years to her boyfriend. Should get clarrified anyways.
 
@Tinkeringbell Aren't you helpful...
 
@apaul Honestly though... aunt brought the mormel to grandpa's party and it's difficult to interact with the dog being there...
 
8:06 AM
@Tinkeringbell mormel?
 
Cause aunt, uncle and three cousins all have more attention for the dog.
@apaul Ah. Dutch. Used to indicate that the dog is really annoying.
and small
Sorry!
 
Oh... a snack dog.
 
Perhaps ;)
 
What real dogs eat ;)
 
Anyways. One moment I'm finally having a good, non-gossipy conversation going just to have it cut short by someone shouting 'Oh, look at the dog' or 'Did you fart!'
The thing keeps begging for food and sitting on your feet too.
 
8:08 AM
Could work as a question, provided it's about the humans.
Otherwise gotta head over to pets.se
 
Course it'll be about the humans :P
I want to deal with the family, not the dog.
 
@Tinkeringbell: your work situation got even worse by your coworker bringing his family and a dog? '^.^
 
Wasn't sure how serious we were being.
 
@apaul Well, the title wasn't serious ;) The whole dog thing is annoying enough to write a question about. I know my grandparents have asked them repeatedly to leave the dog at home.
@dhein Gladly, no.
It's not getting much better either though :/
 
@Tinkeringbell sounds like a worthwhile question.
 
8:12 AM
0
Q: Politely refusing an invitation

dnsivA friend of mine is continously inviting me to a drama play of hers. I tried to hint my lack of interest several times but it seems like she insist on that. She is a former classmate of mine from 4-5 years before. We still have contact and meet each other from time to time. I still like her as f...

 
Usual elements of boundaries, communication, people being inconsiderate, etc.
 
We might need to go through our questions then, if what kevin said there is true.
 
It's happened, but we've been shooting those down for more than a while now.
 
True, but it might be well to close any old ones too then ;)
And perhaps we need to rephrase that part of the help center that says 'the written and unwritten - but well-established and expected - rules or conventions of behavior in a specific setting (also called etiquette).'
perhaps add 'the application of written and unwritten'?
 
Ya... pedantry solves all problems.
 
8:23 AM
@apaul Help center texts and manuals kinda need to be pedantic, if they want to avoid confusion ;)
 
Sorry, I should drop off here. In a bit of a mood. Stuff going on at home.
 
Ah. Hope things get better soon.
See ya!
 
Not your fault, again sorry about that.
 
It's okay, really :) (I kinda like seeing this, to be honest. Makes life easier for both of us :) )
Not the trouble at home, but you recognizing it's time to drop out ;)
 
@Tinkeringbell It is. Try to type "is it rude" in the search bar and you will found 16 pages of unclosed questions => interpersonal.stackexchange.com/…
 
8:27 AM
@Noon Have fun! :P
To be more serious, we probably need to look carefully at each of them, try and find if there's something that can be rephrased without invalidating answers etc.
 
@Tinkeringbell Ahah, yeah :P But I will to that later, I have a train to catch soon. And you are absolutely right about not blindly closing them. Here is one who could be a good one but I have no idea how to rephrase it, if you want to give it a try: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/1539/21067
 
@Tinkeringbell hmm...
Some things are better left unsaid. Advanced interpersonal skills.
 
9:13 AM
0
Q: How to tell someone I won't do their work

user4308I'm in a situation I don't really know how to handle. I'm a student at university and one of my class mates decided to study way too many things at the same time so she doesn't show up to many of the lectures. Since I'm always going and taking meticulous notes, she expects me to give her my n...

 
@IPSCommentBot: tp
@IPSCommentBot tp
And thats why I thought not everyone can perform this xD ... He ignores me v.v
 
9:36 AM
@dhein there are times where he wont respond as quickly, or at all. he won't reply to me either now
@IPSCommentBot tp
 
Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps
 
hmmmmmmm
what the..
 
10:06 AM
@Cashbee: So its not just you overseeing my comments xDDD
 
@dhein haha
 
@IPSCommentBot tp
... '^.^
 
@dhein aha! you should not just ping him, reply to him! (by clicking the return icon on the right of his messages)
you can reply to any of the 3 messages he posts for one comment
 
@IPSCommentBot tp
 
Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 2tps/0fps
 
10:11 AM
ahhhh :)
 
:))
@dhein when you hover over a message that was written as a reply, you see the comment highlighted that it replied to. Try it with this very message of mine and you'll see which exact comment of yours I replied to
or you can click on the return icon to the left of my previous message to go to the original message
 
@Cashbee I allways wondered how the chat can guess what message one replies to '^.^ now its clear to me.
 
@dhein yes i noticed 😀 hence my explanation
 
hello
 
ohai
 
10:24 AM
how are you?
 
great thank you, and yourself?
 
trying to solve something in javascript
 
the language of the future x)
 
I'm trying to make an infinite loop that constantly checks if there's a new file present, if it is I want to use that file
 
sounds hacky :P
 
10:34 AM
but it is in another directory, wich I already have the path of in the code
@Cashbee it's with images
how do I clear my dns cache? i forgot
 
windows?
 
@Termatinator cmd.exe ipconfig /flushdns
(Assuming windows)
 
ya that
 
I mean via the client
 
._.
you typically don't
 
10:47 AM
just for testing purposes now
 
You can't clear your dns cache from your browser afaik
 
@Magisch okay, where do I put that then, I assume not in the javascript file
 
either in execute cmd.exe ipconfig /flushdns or you open up the command line and just type ipconfig /flushdns
 
thanks!
why is javascript still using the former save, I removed the alert but it is still doing just that
 
11:13 AM
0
Q: How do I make my dad respect my opinions?

StormThis has happened time after time. When making a decision together with dad, he always goes behind my back and ignore my opinions, which is really frustrating and even infuriating some times for me. For example, knowing my grandma's health was deteriorating while I was living abroad, I specific...

 
 
3 hours later…
1:44 PM
welcome back IPS Comment Bot! how are you?
 
2:02 PM
@Cashbee you need to reply to his massage, to interact with him
... I just got told ^^
@IPSCommentBot huh?
 
Matched reason "experimental-aic(@scohe001)" for regex you\Wmay\W
 
@IPSCommentBot tp
 
Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps
 
BTW is it a tp if actually, the reason why it got caught isn't correct, but still the catch in itself is correct? ^^ I mean its not directly an aic, but still not a useful comment.
 
@dhein I was making a joke, I wasnt trying to give him feedback
@dhein good question
btw if the bot gives out free massages, count me in
What if the bot catches a comment as "aic" (answer-in-comments), but the comment is actually chatty? The comment is still unnecessary but it was the wrong regex that caught it. Is it a tp or a fp then? — Cashbee 14 secs ago
I'll tell you when I have an answer
 
2:12 PM
@Cashbee: I just tried to join on your joke... but I am bad in that. for some reason people allways think I am serious when I do that v.v
Might be a good question to ask here.... Or maybe not... dunno... >.<
 
@dhein well it might have been meant as a joke but i saw a great question in there so i didn't recognize the joke. Anyways, I have asked it in the meta post about the comment bot.
 
@Cashbee Well, didn't you receive one yet? I get them all day... I find it almost.... somewhat invasive...
^^
 
@dhein of course i received a massage today already, I don't work in the antarctic. I too am a bit overwhelmed by the amount of coworkers always asking me whether I want a massage.. on bad days I go home fully relaxed even /s
 
@Cashbee: yeh, but it isn't just you and neither it is just this situation. It happens almost allways to me, when doing such kinds of joke, that people respond in a serious way to it. And since it happens offline aswell as online and no matter what cultural background (I just found some cultural background tempts to take it even more serious) So I start wondering, whats the cause.
 
@dhein the only indication of your joke being a joke is the ^^ eyebrows
 
2:17 PM
Do I maybe have some missconception of what makes out a joke? Do I have trouble in being sarcastic myself, despite I have no problems in detecting sarcasm of others?! :x
 
the rest is asking a great question in a serious manner
 
@Cashbee: What question was it you saw there? Even rereading my post makes me not getting what that question could have been :o
@IPSCommentBot tp
 
Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps
 
What is this bot about?
 
@dhein if you fear your sarcasm might not be seen by others, try adding a "/s" after your message. just like i did some messages ago
@dhein I am talking about your comment that is 'joining in on my joke' :D
ooooooooooh
now i get it
 
2:22 PM
@Summer It's designed to catch overly chatty comments
so they can be deleted
IPS has a huge problem with overly chatty comments
 
@Cashbee: But this is really interessting now. As I just figured a few days ago with a friend who has aspergers aswell, that I am by far more unable to understand implications than she is. And I figured that is the reason why my messages are allways so long. Cause I feel a need to mention everything. Cause I don't understand implications my self and hence also don't know what others could understand by implication without it being unmentioned
 
@Magisch Cool! But it doesn't mention what it marked though right? His chat messages seem a bit random.
 
I thought your message "BTW is it a tp if actually, the reason why it got caught isn't correct, but still the catch in itself is correct? ^^ I mean its not directly an aic, but still not a useful comment." was a continuation of my jkoke
which it wasn't, hence my confusion
 
So might this be due to, me finding it funny as I am never (rarely) implying anything and hence it is clear to me that there is nothing implicated into my "joke" while others see that BIG QUESTION you just mentioned?
@Cashbee Well sadly that isn't working for ofline interactions xD
 
hahah no i simply thought you meant another message of yours. The first one you wrote today I in fact understood as a joke
(kind of understood as a joke but wasnt sure)
today = in the last hour
 
2:27 PM
@Cashbee yeah that one wasn't a joke xD But still that isn't explaining why you wrote that YOU were just joking and not trying to give him feedback. hence there remains still a joke of me, that wasn't caught as such, or am I wrong with that?
Oh wait, now I got it.
Hmmmm.... but now I want to find a soltuion for the problem I jsut stated anyways >.<
 
@Summer read here for more on the bot
@Cashbee Good question! tp/fp are simply measures of whether the comment needs moderation or not. You can even tp/fp comments in The Closet that the bot hasn't flagged at all. It gives us some data for what kind of comments are good or not so good. If you see the same regex consistently throwing the wrong reason (but still correctly reporting bad comments), bring it up in chat and we can change what the reason says. — scohe001 4 mins ago
 
@dhein any kind of smiley would have made it clearer. "you need to reply to his massage, to interact with him ;)"
@scohe001 thanks
 
 
2 hours later…
4:30 PM
0
Q: Friend attempts suicide, but is now acting perfectly fine. What can I do?

sha2345I am a college student. My friend (who I have known for almost 3 years now) attempted suicide 4 days ago by overdosing on sleeping pills, but not taking a sufficiently high dosage. I only learnt about it a couple days ago, when I saw his father living in his dorm room with him and asked him about...

 
4:49 PM
9 messages moved to Trash
@Jesse US who just paid off student debt here ;) my rates were all around 4.5% - 6.8%. Student loans in the US can't be discharged in bankruptcy (which I think is different from most other countries?). And 100k+ student debt is going to affect OP's ability to get a mortgage and such because of debt-to-income ratio.. not to mention just that it's going to be some hefty monthly payments unless they are lucky enough to qualify for certain special programs.
 
us student loans are a huge mess
I don't know too much about it all, I only saw a Adam Ruins Everything episode on it
 
My SO has a lot of student debt too. It will never be my legal responsibility, but.. it was really concerning to me when I found out, ngl. it's basically going to be another rent payment once those become due. and I wanted to buy a house.. but in our area there's no way that'll happen for a long time now, because we'll need both incomes plus a bunch of savings for a downpayment :(
(hmm... maybe I could write an answer...)
 
5:08 PM
Don't forget that if you file for bankruptcy your mortgage and all your other loans go away, but your student loans still follow you (while continuing to grow all the while). Student loans in the US are a scary scary thing
 
yep.. a lot of kids (and their parents, for that matter) don't know what they're getting into with student loans :(
plus stuff like, I always see recommendations for the public service loan forgiveness program on finance boards, but recently the first batch of eligible people tried to use that and almost everyone got denied... it's a real mess
 
Oy that's crazy
 
A lot of my friends refinanced with a private loan company with slightly lower rates, but I'm not sure that actually helps in the end if you can't pay it off either way...
 
yeah, I guess lower rates would help with monthly payments, but there's not much you can do
 
5:18 PM
Yea but then you have private companies that can send bounty hunters after you...it all just sucks. Education in the US is really an investment in yourself. And if that investment doesn't pay off, you're in some deep trouble
 
yep :/
 
But on a lighter tone...
 
we have 100k+ student debts regularly here too, but its much easier to live with and pay them off when the amount you pay has nothing to do with interest and only to do with your income
 
Are you a Black Friday shopper, @EmC?
 
black friday is lighter? xD seems darker to me
 
5:24 PM
@scohe001 only when it's online :P
 
Haha I guess that depends on which side of the cash register you're on when it hits :p
@EmC ahh cyber Monday then. Anything you've got your eye on?
 
I think I've been shopping on Black Friday once..? and we went in the late afternoon after all the crowds had cleared out ;)
@scohe001 eh, not really this year, actually. do you have big shopping plans?
 
@EmC haha that's probably the smart way
Target always has these huge stuffed bears every year for like $5 and my SO wants one, so we'll probably make a quick run out
 
nice :D
 
5:51 PM
@scohe001 define huge :P
 
 
1 hour later…
7:01 PM
0
Q: What is the right way to think or respond in such a situation?

Lana LightmanSo like I recently started hanging out with a group of girls who’ve been friends for almost a year now. I’ve been sitting with them for lunch for the past few months and all seems chill. But today one of them started talking about how fun their getogether was (which I wasn’t invited to) in front ...

 
@Tinkeringbell this is from last year:
 
@scohe001 Nice!
They're cool :D
 
Haha my SO is pushing to get a mini pig now that we're in a state where they're legal and since they love snuggles, she says we have to get a giant bear now to be its friend
 
Careful! Or at least teach minipig better manners than Fifi :P
 
@scohe001 At first, I was thinking a stuffed mini pig and was wondering why that would've been illegal previously. :P
 
7:08 PM
@apaul if the family stuff is better, question about the dog and family is up :D
 
@Tinkeringbell ooh you guys have a pig out there??
 
@scohe001 Nah, see the new questions :P
 
-1
Q: Answer deleted after a year and 55 positive votes

Mister PositiveBeen awhile since I have been here, hope all is well. I am curious past the on liner explanation given by the moderator and the generic stuff in the help section as to why an answer that clearly helps people was deleted? At the end of the day, isn't that why we are here?? At any rate, a broa...

 
@El'endiaStarman haha obvs because they're too dang cute!! :p but yea, stuffed pig isnt gonna do it--my SO needs the real thing. We'll see how it ends up. If we get one, expect a lot of pictures here in a few months...
 
1
Q: How to keep an interesting conversation going when there's a dog present at family gatherings?

TinkeringbellI try to pay a regular visit my grandparents once a week, and on special occasions like their birthdays. Most of these visits coincide with my aunt, uncle and cousins being there as well. They also always bring their dog, let's call him Fifi. Fifi is a small/medium dog (depending on your defini...

 
7:17 PM
@Tinkeringbell Ohhh boy. I hope the pig doesn't wind up like that. Spoiled animals/children are never any fun :(
 
Yeah, Fifi is doubletrouble ;)
 
0
Q: How to ask my roommate to move out?

ItsJustMeI know it sounds selfish but here it is. From the past 3 years, I have been living alone in a rented room. 6 months ago, I had to change the city due to a new job. The rent here is a bit high compared to the last one so I thought of having a roommate to share the flat and the expenses. So here ...

 
7:50 PM
Ugh, Evan Carroll.
 
Closed.
Like my mod-hammer some days :D
 
@Tinkeringbell .. you beat me by about 2 seconds lol
 
@EmC Ah... I did think the deleting through! :P
Glad to hear we're on the same frequency here :)
 
@Tinkeringbell yeah, I just took too long to find the right link :P
 
[ help/on-topic ]
 
7:59 PM
@Tinkeringbell, @EmC So, if a question is more about ranting about Stack Exchange and not realling on-topic, we should close and not try to make it on-topic? (no sarcasm here, it's a real question)
 
@Noon In this case, I'm calling in some moderator privileges and secret background information. In general, assume good intentions, close but do try to help in making it on-topic :)
25
A: Is it ok to ask questions about issues on Stack Exchange? If so, where do we draw the line?

CatijaInterpersonal Skills is not the "court of public opinion" of Stack Exchange. If you have a serious grievance with the users, moderators, or community managers on this site or any other site in the network, that needs to be voiced (preferably in a calm and open manner) on the child meta of the s...

 
We even have a meta post, thanks! :D
 
@Noon I'm generally.. less enthusiastic about editing "suspicious" questions into something on-topic. if OP actually wants to get their question answered, they can ask how to improve it and edit it themselves. kind of like how you are supposed to just downvote/flag/delete spam, rather than editing out the spammy part.
 
@EmC I was more thinking about commenting to suggest an alternative question
 
@Noon I mean, I'm not going to stop anyone from doing that :) this is just personally speaking, I don't really see the value of spending time trying to shoehorn it into a nice format if OP actually just wanted to rant
 
8:12 PM
That's a fair point ^^
 
8:42 PM
Hi :)
 
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