The Awkward Silence

12:02 AM

oh

cool

does that^ actually give feedback to google?

what happens when I tell comment bot that that was rude

the guy who posted that comment seems really good at farming rep off of HNQ shitstorms interpersonal.stackexchange.com/users/2135/peufeu

their top three answers are text walls that contain some ips skills, but also some serious toxicity and a fair helping of totally off (ips) topic stuff

apaul

12:25 AM

Hahaha

El'endia Starman

@spiralsucculent It's much harder to identify subtle toxicity (e.g. passive-aggressiveness) as opposed to swearing.

apaul

He's "edgy", but mostly harmless ;)

Flag when you see things that are out of line, but try not to take him too seriously.

scohe001

1:16 AM

@spiralsucculent it gives the feedback to us in the closet (where the bots have their nest): chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/47181950#47181950

spiral succulent

@El'endiaStarman I know, but being better than a regex is the point of the google toxicity api

trust me, I am a master of subtle toxicity

I asked my mom why cursing was something she didn't want me to do when I was young

and her answer was basically, crude language takes no effort and just shows that the person using it has a limited imagination and vocabulary

and I really took that to heart

El'endia Starman

@spiralsucculent I'm pretty sure it's based on machine learning. It takes a lot of time and effort to train machines. Especially since there's so many ways to be toxic or offensive in ways other than swearing.

spiral succulent

I think you might be able to differentiate my normal discourse from shitposting because I will actually use less foul language when I'm trolling/flaming

@El'endiaStarman I know, I really just want to be an engineer on that project

or, more specifically, I want to create training sets for that project

El'endia Starman

Haha yeah, that would be neat indeed.

Extroverted Main Man

3:05 AM

1

Q: Tactfully declining a family Thanksgiving invitation

That time of year is approaching once again. Tis' the season for social obligation, and my cousin has already started in about Thanksgiving via text messages. This year has brought a bit of a twist in that she asked me to bring my new partner... I'm not opposed to spending time with my family, m...

Extroverted Main Man

5:46 AM

0

Q: Retorting to a lying person

Scenario When it comes to certain family matters, one of my cousins always lies to my mom. It could be from a simple occasion like where the family had gone for a vacation or a more serious one like when a family member was admitted to a hospital. My mom does know that he is lying but doesn't...

conversations relationships family

Belle-Sophie

7:00 AM

Good morning

I'm staying in my job at least until January, so I got some time to hang around :)

This answer though... interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/560/12101 wat

Magisch

Yeah I reviewed that in LQP this morning and also was like "9000 wat"

JAD

Dude, that's zen

how to respond to someone offending you

"just don't get offended"

frame challenge of the century

Magisch

That's a bit like telling someone having a panic attack "dude, it's easy, just don't panic. I do it all the time"

JAD

@Magisch you just have to unpanic yourself

as someone that panics a lot, I'm sure you have experience with that /s

Nicolas Raoul

I am wondering whether a Khashoggi Jamal Halloween costume is appropriate... too soon?

Tinkeringbell

7:16 AM

@NicolasRaoul Ehhh... IPS doesn't do 'is this appropriate'? :P

I also thought Halloween was a time where you didn't have to be 'appropriate'.

Belle-Sophie

How does it have 9 upvotes and just a single downvote?

Magisch

@JAD I do sometimes get "why is it such a big deal people touch me all the time and I'm fine with it"

which is really unhelpful

JAD

@NicolasRaoul gotta wait 22.3 years

Belle-Sophie

@JAD But then it's not halloween anymore!

JAD

tough luck

avazula

7:21 AM

@Belle-Sophie Hi. Downvote is mine. I didn't know how to write a message saying "hey, that answer may be 13+ months old, but it's actually off-topic so, please edit it?"

So I just recommended deletion and DVed so it stays in the queue

Belle-Sophie

@avazula You just restored my faith in humanity

Tinkeringbell

@avazula Oh, I've left a few of those...

avazula

@Belle-Sophie you're very welcome dear

@Tinkeringbell oh, but I think it's appropriate, it's just that i didn't know how to phrase it

Tinkeringbell

Usually I go 'Hey, I realise this answer is old, but we've changed our policies on good answers since. See [our meta on answers] for more guidance on what makes a good answer right now.' Then point out what is wrong and how to improve it.

If I delete it, I also sometimes mention that for posts over 60 days old, you won't lose any reputation over them being deleted, and that this is in fact a good thing as it prevents it from being downvoted too much now and the person losing rep over that XD

Cashbee

@JAD yay south park references :D

morning all

JAD

7:25 AM

@Cashbee also had to think about the Devil's halloween party and someone showing up as Steve Irwin impaled with a stingray

That was totally uncool

Belle-Sophie

Last week this happened. I tried finding the best way to solve a software engineering problem. I thought solution A would work, but it didn't. I spent a few days trying to understand why it didn't work and figuring out what to do instead. I finally implemented solution B that was a bit more verbose but worked perfectly.
Then a colleague came along and started telling me to use solution A, because it was clearly better :|

JAD

I think it might have been Steve Irwin

@Belle-Sophie then explain that you tried that and that it didn't work for x and y reasons?

Cashbee

yup

Belle-Sophie

@JAD Yep. But "Are you sure about that? Did you try it?"

And "Did you even consider it?"

JAD

to which the answer would be yes, right?

Belle-Sophie

7:27 AM

Yep

JAD

so how do they react to that?

Belle-Sophie

They scoffed

Told me to research it more, because it was "really simple"

Magisch

What was it, out of curiosity?

Belle-Sophie

Yet they could not provide me with an explanation

Magisch

We had someone in the apprentice class that would swear by recursion for everything and used to say people who use loops aren't real programmers :p

Cashbee

7:29 AM

hahaha

Belle-Sophie

@Magisch Using a route optimization API. I had to send some JSON to that API, a little bit in NoSQL style, containing a list of orders, drivers and adresses. The colleague's solution is to "call ToJSON on the address table in the database and write the result right back".

Magisch

three guesses there is some oddity that prevents that from working the colleague doesnt know about

Belle-Sophie

Well, the address table doesn't contain orders, for one, nor drivers.

Second, the API requires coordinates, which I explained to him, but we save address lines in our database. He insists that "addresses are coordinates" or something, so it's really simple.

Journeyman Geek

@Magisch 0_0

Belle-Sophie

The same guy also explained to me what a double is. I studied CS at university, thank you.

Cashbee

7:37 AM

@Belle-Sophie Did you ever order a double cheeseburger and the guy asked if you'd like it primitive type or object type?

Belle-Sophie

@Cashbee rofl

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How do I deal with some of my mean classmates?

Flashback Today when I entered in class, I came late due to the fact that I’m in flow that I stayed on telephone. And when I came to school, I asked Chemistry teacher to annulate my absence, and an ugly( inside) girl told me, “get out of here!” and that made me be very angry at her that I wanted...

relationships conflicts difficult-people europe

Cashbee

(ofc you want it object type. you don't want the burger to be null)

oh damn wrong

ah whatever

Belle-Sophie

One gem: "Why do you use a different class for the request and the response, can't you do that in one class?"

Another gem: "Why do you use Linq for filtering? That's not what Linq is for"

Cashbee

you write them down when he says them don't you? :P

Belle-Sophie

7:40 AM

@Cashbee I may or may not have a list

A few days back I fixed a bug from the bug-pile. I had effectively reduced the amount of code during the fixing. "Why didn't you write any code today?"

Luckily this is just one colleague. I have many more who are awesome.

Magisch

@Belle-Sophie cynical people might assume he can't wrap his head around the fact that you're probably better at this then he is

Belle-Sophie

"I used a thread so it's really fast!"

A few days later. "Why is it not fast, I used a thread?"

I checked out the code. The thread was full of loops with sleep(50)...

Magisch

one thing about multithreading is unless you know how to do concurrency well and keep that in mind during design then it won't help you

@Belle-Sophie Maybe showboating because there's no substance

Cashbee

@Belle-Sophie I'm not too much into multithreading, but aren't you supposed to do sleeps from time to time to check for interruptions?

Belle-Sophie

This thread needed something from the main thread, which it was constantly waiting for.

@Cashbee All I know about multithreading is that I don't know enough about it to even attempt it in our 15 year old software.

Well, that's not exactly true. My route planning program is fully async.

Magisch

7:51 AM

I use async in javascript quite a bit

Belle-Sophie

I do know that threading is not a magic fix-all solution and you really need to know what you're doing to try and run large parts of your program that depend on other threads.

Magisch

It's actually really easy to implement, but you have to implement it at the planning & concept stage

also that

JAD

@Magisch point him to stackoverflow(exception)

@Belle-Sophie ah, the old paid by LOC programmer

Magisch

debugging recursive functions is my second least favorite thing to do, right after fixing concurrency bugs in multithreaded software

Belle-Sophie

@Magisch Why don't you like that? :)

We had a big concurrency bug a while back. A few of the sleep(50)'s are a direct result of 'fixing' that bug.

Magisch

7:55 AM

cause it's annoying to track down

JAD

@Cashbee depends a lot on which language you are using. Afaik in C# the language provides ways to check for interruptions without having to manually sleep here and there

Magisch

and annoying to reproduce

Belle-Sophie

@JAD Yeah, my route optimization has an interuption token. I just check it once in a while.

JAD

most parallel thing I've done so far is probably adding .AsParallel() to some big linq queries

Magisch

once we had a function that would only fail on monday mornings and sometimes on other days for certain people only

Belle-Sophie

7:59 AM

@JAD My colleague told me that Linq is overkill ;)

Magisch

turns out it was a concurrency bug triggered by the weekly antivirus scan that slowed down the CPU enough for the concurrency bug to manifest.

JAD

there are things where linq is not so good at

Belle-Sophie

@JAD Agreed. But it has its uses

JAD

just now I needed to get a bunch of summary statistics (max and mins of various properties) of a collection

Belle-Sophie

@Magisch Bugs like that are the best. We had "Monday is not a valid integer".

JAD

8:00 AM

doing that with a series of Collection.Max(x=> x.bla) statements would be less efficient than just using a forloop

@Belle-Sophie should've used (int)DayOfWeek.Monday

Marcus

o/

Pseudohuman

\o

JAD

@Belle-Sophie oh don't get me wrong. I love Linq

Belle-Sophie

8:27 AM

My colleague and I disagree on whether Linq is a good choice here:
allAddresses = driverAddresses.Concat(orderAddresses).Distinct(new Address.AddressComparer()).ToList();

JAD

I'm not sure what Distinct does under the hood, but sounds like a use for a HashSet

    static IEnumerable<TSource> DistinctIterator<TSource>(IEnumerable<TSource> source, IEqualityComparer<TSource> comparer) {
        Set<TSource> set = new Set<TSource>(comparer);
        foreach (TSource element in source)
            if (set.Add(element)) yield return element;
    }

hmm, Distinct uses a Set.

Belle-Sophie

@JAD You can assign an IEqualityComparer to it.

JAD

yeah, you can pass one in the constructor

but Distinct seems to do that for you

so I wouldn't really bother

I would be interested in what he suggests though

what is his alternative

Belle-Sophie

My Address.AddressComparer is an IEqualityComparer. Address is a model-class, it represents a row in the database. It checks if the ids are the same

@JAD Foreach loops

JAD

and what's inside?

Belle-Sophie

8:35 AM

Let me look it up

JAD

hang on

I'm making a guess

    var adresses = new List<string>();

    var distinctAdresses = new List<string>();
    foreach(var adress in adresses) {
      var alreadyInAdress = false;
      // Check if adress is already in result
      foreach(var otherAdress in distinctAdresses) {
        if(otherAdress == adress) {
          alreadyInAdress = true;
          break;
        }
      }
      if (!alreadyInAdress) {
        distinctAdresses.Add(adress);
      }
    }

that's the worst I can cook up

A J

@Belle-Sophie you're back with your IPS avatar?

JAD

of course, the break can be replaced witha goto, but meh

let's assume your coworker isn't totally evil

Cashbee

but there is no recursion :(

A J

who is using goto now?

@Cashbee there is.

Belle-Sophie

8:39 AM

@JAD You improved his suggestion!

JAD

@Belle-Sophie D:

Belle-Sophie

How do I put code in here?

        List<Address> allAddresses = driverAddresses.Concat(orderAddresses);
        List<Address> uniqueAddresses = new List<Address>;
        foreach (Address address in allAddresses)
        {
            bool add = true;
            foreach (Address uniqueAddress in uniqueAddresses)
            {
                if (uniqueAddress.Id = address.Id)
                {
                    add = false;
                }
            }
            uniqueAddresses.Add(address);
        }

JAD

select it and do ctrl + k

LOL

so he does the same, but adds all adresses anyways

Belle-Sophie

Yeah, he went "try this"

JAD

XD

well, I call close enough

his intentions were clear

tbh, it depends on the size of the collection whether it's bad, or downright terrible

Belle-Sophie

8:42 AM

@JAD I did some research on that. There will be users inputting 30.000 orders. That's an edge case though.

Let's go through this loop 900 million times!

JAD

it's ~450m times, but still

and it really depends on how unique the addresses are

uuuuuuuuh

wait

nope

Belle-Sophie

It will definitely depend on using the break or not. But "break is evil".

JAD

the bug in that code is even worse

nooo

it'll only actually compare the adress against the last uniqueAdress in the list

oh no nevermind

still terrible

should break as soon as they know

ohwell

Belle-Sophie

I went up to my manager and asked him to be removed from my project as a reviewer as he was obstructing me.

Manager didn't want to, so I went to a different manager, showed him the code and got him to talk to my manager. I now have a different reviewer :)

JAD

you could try and benchmark the code

Cashbee

8:46 AM

@Belle-Sophie nice!

Jesse

I was hoping that you brought out the list of embarrassing comments they made

Belle-Sophie

@Jesse Other manager's jaw dropped

Jesse

ooh you did!?

JAD

btw

Belle-Sophie

I saw the other manager come out of the CEO's office a bit later. I believe this is being escalated.

Jesse

8:48 AM

damn, yeah i can imagine a jaw drop. Not often people are pushed that far

@JAD hmm?

JAD

without Linq, you can do just this: var unqiueAdresses = new HashSet<Adress>(addresslist, comparer)

and it should just keep the distinct ones

Belle-Sophie

@JAD Oh, that's actually pretty neat

JAD

> var set = new HashSet<int>(new[] { 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 4 });
> set
HashSet<int>(Count = 5) { 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 }

If you use it as IEnumerable<T> onward, it's the same as if you used Distinct. If you use ToList afterwards, using Linq is better than a HashSet

oh actually, that's not true

Linq is more efficient either way.

Belle-Sophie

I'm pretty sure the HashSet will still be quicker than the double foreach

JAD

Because the HashSet constructor enumerates the collection, so any further operations require another loop, whereas Linq doesn't enumerate yet

oh yes

Belle-Sophie

9:00 AM

A little while back a customer wanted a different order of evaluation in some function. Upon checking the function out, I went NOPE. Big spaghetti. It worked and I didn't want to break it. One of them things you don't want to touch. Luckily, I could just swap the statements around, which I did. I thought, problem solved.

Went to review with colleague after I tested it. He insisted my fix wasn't actually solving the customer's issue and I needed to change a lot more stuff.

I hated that he made me "fix" the code. I didn't understand it and didn't want responsibility for breaking it if my fix introduced a bug.

I'm still angry about that.

JAD

9:15 AM

@Belle-Sophie that's what tests are for

Belle-Sophie

@JAD Generally, I agree. This code happens to have no unit tests and tests cannot feasibly be written for it.

JAD

joy

Belle-Sophie

My personal philosophy regarding untestable code is simple: we change it until it's testable or we do only what is absolutely neccessary.

Usually changing it until it's testable is lots of work, but sometimes it's possible to isolate part of a function and optimize it

Extroverted Main Man

9:46 AM

0

Q: How to explain my girlfriend that I enjoy certain video games?

I would like to ask for advise about my current situation, my girlfriend (26) and I (31) have been together for 2 months now and we really have lots in common and always have a great time together but! I am an IT guy so I am into technology very much and currently own a Nintendo Switch. I really...

relationships conflicts romance approach

Mithrandir

9:59 AM

@IPSCommentBot tp

JAD

@ExtrovertedMainMan interesting. Your gf calling you a creepy nerd to your face

JAD

10:16 AM

@IPSCommentBot :(

@ExtrovertedMainMan HNQ bait if I ever seen one... if only

Cashbee

11:14 AM

maybe find out why she hates them first

avazula

11:29 AM

Aaaaaaaaah I feel so numb!

Mithrandir

?

avazula

TL;DR: I wanna befriend a male colleague who's 20+ years older than me but I'm afraid he'd feel I'm flirty because 1) I have a past of harrasment from a 45y.o. male teacher and 2) Since I've questioned the neurotypical-ness of my brain I realize how much I struggle to make new friends when the context is that I can't see them often

Wooh, that could be a great IPS question!

Gonna see whether it's already been posted, maybe I'd find some advice

But seriously, I feel so dumb that I struggle so much to become friends with someone!

Cashbee

oh. better numb than dumb

that indeed sounds like an IPS question

avazula

11:46 AM

@Cashbee I think it's gonna go through the Sandbox first the last thing I wanna read is "if you wanna befriend him that much that's because you have a crush of him" u_u

Cashbee

who says that

avazula

@Cashbee people who think they know you better than you do?

Cashbee

tell them you'd crush them yourself if they think so

avazula

@Cashbee hahaha

Cashbee

no but seriously, such a comment would get removed pretty fast here.

Extroverted Main Man

11:54 AM

0

Q: What to do with my overthinking and how to support an emotional girlfriend?

I'm sorry to give this exhausting question, but I want to be sure I state every important detail. This question has 2 parts, both, I feel, have something in common. To give some background about myself, I am a big extrovert - it's quite okay for me to just start talking with girls at train and g...

relationships programmer

avazula

@Cashbee that's true

I haven't found such a question, I think I'm gonna post it tonight

(big meeting this afternoon)

Cashbee

12:14 PM

Amazing, how a FGITW-answer from a new user answers the only aspect of the question that is on topic. It's like he knew the question was going to be edited shortly

0

A: What to do with my overthinking and how to support an emotional girlfriend?

Specifically about the problem with your girlfriend, I think it is expected of you that you sympathise. But that does not mean you have to lie/can't talk. Just comfort her when she needs, hold your thoughts until afterwards and then maybe, if you feel it's necessary, bring back the topic when she...

avazula

12:32 PM

Is this really NaA? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/review/low-quality-posts/14755

Belle-Sophie

Hi again. I came to share my happiness.

Something really unexpected happened.

gparyani

@Belle-Sophie I'm interested

@Mithrandir err...some of us don't have the rep yet

Tinkeringbell

@Belle-Sophie Sooo... either someone got fired at your current job, or you can start a new one tomorrow? :P

Belle-Sophie

My colleague was trashtalking my work again, but the manager shut him down. He said that my colleague shouldn't talk down my work, that I actually have something useful to show, that it actually looks really good and that the direction I am taking with it is a lot more useful than the direction colleague is trying to push, which only benefits colleague's agenda.

Cashbee

@Belle-Sophie nice!

Belle-Sophie

12:40 PM

Oh, and he let slip that my work is going to be one of the main selling points of the new version.

Cashbee

comment bot missed a potentially rude anser-in-comments: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/19501/…

Belle-Sophie

It was supposed to be delivered along with some big project colleague has been working on, which he said he could do in 300 hours. We're now a year in and it's not even remotely close to finishing. I think he's losing credibility and I'm gaining it.

gparyani

@Cashbee nuked

Cashbee

@Belle-Sophie that's amazing! let's party once more!

gparyani

@Belle-Sophie Vaguely reminds me of medium.freecodecamp.org/…

Belle-Sophie

12:47 PM

@gparyani Just read it. It does seem to touch this situation. My colleague is reasonably good. A little outdated in his knowledge maybe, but he knows what he's doing. Just working in a team is very difficult to him.

avazula

I'd give a lot to work in a team. I can't stand working alone anymore xD

gparyani

@Belle-Sophie "Rick was a very talented developer. Rick could solve complex business logic problems and create sophisticated architectures to support his lofty designs. Rick could not solve the problem of how to work effectively on a team."

Cashbee

@avazula you don't know what you're saying

Belle-Sophie

He's not quite at the same level as Rick, but he's going there.

Cashbee

careful what you wish for

Belle-Sophie

12:49 PM

I like working in a team :)

avazula

@Cashbee I don't, actually. Never worked in a team for my job ._. how weird is that

I did a lot of teamwork for other stuff and volunteering but I have worked alone at work for more than ... what, 4 years now?

ElizB

Good morning :)

avazula

Hey there :)

Cashbee

@avazula not weird at all, as long as you're full stack enough. if not, you'll become full stack soon

avazula

@Cashbee web programming isn't my main activity, I never did it for the work I get paid for

I'm more of a embedded systems, artificial intelligence programmer

Cashbee

12:53 PM

I thought the term full stack not only refers to web dev, but more generally that one masters all related languages and frameworks related to their field. Did I assume wrongly?

A J

Related meme

Cashbee

@AJ never gets old

A J

one guy with different hairstyles.

avazula

@Cashbee erh, idk, I did try to use that word for that but I got mocked ._.

BBL, meeting. See you guys :)

Cashbee

have fun

JAD

1:07 PM

I always thought full-stack just meant both front-end and back-end

Cashbee

in web dev, it means you know php, css, js, html, sql, vue/angular/react and possibly more

probably outdated though

Belle-Sophie

1:23 PM

@JAD Same. At least every "level" on the software, which is different depending on the environment. Like, front-end, back-end, mid-level, devops.

JAD

hmm speaking of which. I've been toying a bit with programming some board- or cardgames in my free time. The scope kinda exploded and now I'm working on an authentication interface with password hashing and all that stuff

Belle-Sophie

That sounds awesome!

Cashbee

I've always wanted to start my own cardgame project

I'd put hearthstone and even the new MagicArena to shame

ElizB

throws cochlear implants off oiiiii. People need to understand that if you're in a work environment without doors then at least keep your boisterous laughing to a minimum, puh-leeeze!!! Seriously. steam coming out of ears and top of head ..... okay, I'm okay now. Oi.

JAD

@Belle-Sophie password stuff is scary though

avazula

1:52 PM

@ElizB :( do you feel better now?

ElizB

@avazula this is an excellent topic for a question and as far as i see, there's no question that matches my situation even close, so I posted it as a question! :)

@avazula i feel better, but I don't like having to take out my environmental awareness

Belle-Sophie

You're so gentle. "Clearing my throat loudly to indicate there is someone here" and "Sighing annoyingly to indicate that I am not happy with the noise". I'm not familiar with US culture so I'm not going to write an answer but here it would be perfectly acceptable to shout: "Shut up, I'm working here!"

Okay, perfectly acceptable is a bit of a stretch. Tolerated. In nicer phrasing it would be perfectly acceptable.

ElizB

@Belle-Sophie Yeeeeah like thats my professors friends and my mentor works with these people so i don't want my mentor to hear about that

Belle-Sophie

@ElizB Which is why I won't answer :) What works in my culture may not work in yours.

Extroverted Main Man

2

Q: How to respond to loud people in workplace?

TL;DR: People in my academic department office like to talk loudly, and today, there was boisterous laughing, which caused me to lose concentration. How do I indicate that they need to quiet down, politely? Background: I work as an unpaid intern in the school department X (Graduate school int...

united-states work-environment politeness

ElizB

2:02 PM

:) I know in my other internship I would be able to say that

avazula

@ElizB :) I'm glad to know! I hope you'll get some interesting answers

Cashbee

why do people always try to fix the problem instead of answering the questions? :(

I mean, sure, I get it. But I feel like the users should be made aware of this better. It happens too frequently imo

avazula

@Cashbee I agree

Cashbee

@ElizB your questions is great, you should remove your last line about edit suggestions :D

pretty passive aggressive, but maybe?

ElizB

2:20 PM

I'm only making myself more open and friendly about suggestions and I know stack exchange has a thing about it being more informal, but this is as formal as that line can get, so I respectfully disagree with removing that line

Cashbee

fair enough

ElizB

2:35 PM

@Cashbee yeah, I think it would be too passive aggressive :P I don't think I want to shine the light on myself being the one needing quiet, when I can just "become" deaf, but because I saw there wasn't a sufficient question that matches what I wanted, I generalized it

ElizB

2:45 PM

An hour to study statistics before my class has its last q&a before the midterm :P blah. Midterm is tomorrow morning

Sid

@ElizB Good luck. Ace the midterms. :P

ElizB

@Sid thanks for the support :)

Sandman

2:58 PM

0

A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

Going to live in someone house, how to ask for rules? tag: family, france, (autism) Background I have found a new job in another city. While looking for an apartment I will be living in my cousin house. I have never lived in her house before (and I have been at her house for the weekend le...

Noon

3:10 PM

@IPSCommentBot tp

ElizB

@IPSCommentBot tp

avazula

@IPSCommentBot tp

Noon

Do anyone else want to "tp" this post? XD

ElizB

I'm really enjoying this increase of quality answers here... plus more quality questions

@Noon hahaha

scohe001

@BenjaminGruenbaum hey Ben!

Benjamin Gruenbaum

3:20 PM

Hey, good afternoon o/

Cashbee

@IPSCommentBot tp

Benjamin Gruenbaum

Entering a meeting at work pretty soon :) What's up?

ElizB

@Noon Hah, there you go

scohe001

@BenjaminGruenbaum you've been knocking it out of the park this morning, I love your answers! I called you in just so I wouldn't have to leave another comment on your post that'd end up getting deleted, but if you can't take a suggestion or don't want to, you can just leave the comment or flag it as NLN for next time

Noon

@ElizB Thanks Cashbee :P

Cashbee

3:26 PM

:)

Mithrandir

@gparyani Yes?

I'm aware. That message was intended for people who can.

Noon

3:40 PM

For people who have some time, the close/LQP review queue can use some reviewing (I flagged/vtc a bunch of stuff)

Benjamin Gruenbaum

Thanks :)

ElizB

@Noon I'll get to it in about an hour or so

scohe001

Holy moly @apaul did you put something in the water? We're getting a crazy amount of questions today

ElizB

Ain't that a good thing?

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to say that you are not interested in online dating?

In online dating, people often find themselves in a situation where they are in contact with someone but do not want to continue the encounter and need to terminate it somehow. Doing this in a good way for both the person wanting to end the contact and the recipient of the rejection is not always...

relationships

scohe001

3:54 PM

@ElizB I feel like yes and no. It's probably better for us to get a steady flow instead of 10 one day and only 1 the next two or three

Em C

@Noon hey, I can see why you'd consider this question intrapersonal (and it was early on in the site anyhow) but I think there are still some interpersonal skills to be learned there in regards to de-escalating or preventing a phone call from escalating (which is kinda what the accepted answer talks about). any thoughts (from the room in general too!) on rewording it?

(or maybe I'm just too biased since it's my own question, which is fine too :P)

apaul

@scohe001 Shhh, just drink the kool-aid, it'll be ok.

Think of it as priming the pump. We'll get fits and spurts to begin with, but hopefully that'll turn into a steady flow.

Noon

4:21 PM

@EmC Based on what you just said, what about: "How can I prevent a phone call from escalating and how to de-escalate if it does anyway?"

Witan ap Danu

@EmC A quick scan of the Q and A's attached and I'm thinking that something like @Noon s suggestion would work. Do try to avoid invalidating answers with the edit, however.

scohe001

4:36 PM

@apaul oh I'm still drinking, but this is one hell of a spurt today O_O

Noon

What am I suppose to respond to that? "No, your answer doesn't meet our quality guidline and while likely be deleted?"

Magisch

@apaul interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/3129/…

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to signify to a coworker I'd like to become friends?

TL;DR I'd like to befriend a coworker with similar hobbies and values but I'm afraid I'd either sound awkward or flirty. How can I make him understand I'd like to become friends? Situation I've been working in the same company for 9 months now. There's a coworker I met at the very beginning of...

work-environment coworkers making-friends

2

Q: How to deal with aunt harassing my 15-year-old daughter for money?

I'm uncertain how to deal with a family issue. My 15-year-old daughter is being hounded by her aunt for $8,000, for no good reason, and she's kept phoning her cellphone morning, noon and night. She told me she's terrified and worries about how to get the money. As it is, she's a quiet kid, not...

family money bullying harassment

scohe001

@avazula Mission can mean something completely different where I am (see here). If that's not what you meant, you might want to consider a different word.

Witan ap Danu

@Noon Sorry you feel that way. My reading of the answer, as applied to the question, suggests that the comment is correct. It's a simple solution to a simple problem.

Noon

4:46 PM

@WitanapDanu The point isn't to know if the answer is correct or not. The point is that the answer doesn't provide back-up. They are just suggestion things whitout telling why we should follow their advise. And, has I said in my comment, back-up are require here

avazula

@scohe001 ahah, no it's not that kind of mission indeed. I'll fix it. Thanks :)

Noon

@avazula Did you just failed your edit? The new version doesn't make any sens to me

Sandman

0

A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

Dealing with a very easily bruised ego Tags: conflict-aversion coworkers work-environment My company has several co-owners. One of these co-owners is notorious for having a short temper and an easily bruised ego. He does not take criticism well and is known to lash out when someone contradicts ...

avazula

@Noon mmh... Lemme check

Witan ap Danu

@Noon "backup" explains why the answer should work. That answer says why it should work "a blocked number cannot call, hence end of harassment." How much more backup is needed.

Noon

4:51 PM

@avazula schohe just edited, so it's fine now ^^

Em C

@Noon if they aren't interested in editing, better to just not respond. go ahead and downvote / flag and see where the reviews end up

avazula

@Noon haha, okay :)

I was busy taking a picture for @Tink because my gala dress just arrived!!

Noon

@WitanapDanu Well, first blocking a number isn't an IPS solution, so it's off-topic and should be deleted (but it's tolerate if the answer also suggest an IPS solution). But where I would like a back-up is for the part: "Tell your daughter to not respond. Then speak to the aunt and tell her you'd like her to stop." (Note: I hadn't notice that they had indeed edited, infortunately it's not the good part but now I know what to answer them)

Em C

@Noon ok cool, will edit :)

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