The Awkward Silence

12:01 AM

Ooof, yikes. -12 vote on the revisiting HNQ question... If that's not a clear indication of what's going on, I don't know what is.... wow.

spiral succulent

so if you asked this question, my answer would basically be, nice job identifying something you are uncertain about, talk through the minefield with your partner to make sure that your 'mines' and their 'mines' are both avoided and decide how much you care about 'mines' belonging to friends/family/society at large

apaul

@spiralsucculent Seems to be the answer to most every relationship question.

"Use your words"

@ElizB Kinda had to see that coming...

ElizB

@apaul Yeah, i watched it peak then fall... it's just really still shocking how fast it happened. :/

I saw it coming after noting the first few downvotes... then many more after

apaul

12:24 AM

Wow 122 up and 132 down, definitely says something.

spiral succulent

@apaul hehe, yep, but based on the relationships I see and hear about, its a dead horse that still needs some beating

ElizB

Yeah, definitely... oh! another fantastic answer on my question about my dad's saying that he's everyone's scapegoat... this is the best of the questions I've asked so far... this one really got me what I was looking for. Third time's the charm, i guess!

spiral succulent

congrats!

ElizB

what I'm seeing is that basically I just shrug off the blame he implicitly places on me

back to him.

spiral succulent

the other sites are going to start getting jealous when they see what a quality time we are having here free from HNQ's drama cannons

ElizB

12:27 AM

Heh

apaul

@spiralsucculent loads drama cannons

Mutiny?

ElizB

If i had more sleep, yeah...

sphennings

1:39 AM

@apaul I don't think we have a mutiny scheduled if you'd like to schedule one the mutiny comity accepts proposals at our regularly held meetings, provided we can meet quorum.

El'endia Starman

If we're nice about it, then we'll meet decorum.

apaul

1:54 AM

@sphennings That's not how mutiny generally works...

7 hours ago, by apaul

Mutiny for more access to mutiny.

IPS Comment Bot

shouldihookupwithmybarista.com/cashier — ArtOfCode 11 secs ago

apaul

@IPSCommentBot fp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught incorrectly (fp) Currently marked 0tps/1fps

sphennings

@apaul It's worked well for TAS in the past

apaul

@sphennings aye... Times arrr a changin, mate

sphennings

2:03 AM

I can see that. How have things been while I was on "hiatus"?

apaul

Just trying to boost morale. There may be actual mutiny otherwise.

@sphennings Well, pretty quiet till we got booted from HNQ.

sphennings

Given that HNQ was the source of a lot of our threadnaughts and other forms of increased mod workload isn't that a good thing? even if they botched the outreach and community buy-in on the decision?

apaul

@sphennings Eh, double edged sword.

sphennings

@everyoneELse I'm 3-ish months out of date so things may have changed. If this has been beaten to death already please don't consider this a chance to rehash conversations that have already been resolved.

apaul

@sphennings Certainly don't miss the daily dumpster fire, but traffic, questions, and new users have dropped off considerably.

El'endia Starman

2:07 AM

@sphennings This whole HNQ mess is like 5 days old. You didn't miss too much, methinks.

Well. You missed the majority of what happened the last few days, but there wasn't much in the months prior, is how I should say it.

apaul

@sphennings Nah, this one is still fairly fresh. We worked the dead horse over earlier today if you'd like to peruse and get caught up.

sphennings

@apaul I may dig in at some point

apaul

@sphennings Today's round started around here: chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/47296414#47296414

sphennings

@apaul Looks like it started when you began an unscheduled mutiny a few posts up from there :p

apaul

"We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning"

sphennings

2:14 AM

lol

There's always something.

apaul

Well, I started fires, just not those fires.

sphennings

Somehow I've never been to a burn despite being burner adjacent pretty much everywhere I've lived.

apaul

@sphennings Oh?

sphennings

There's a pretty strong local burn scene in both MA and AK and somehow I end up making friends with burners no matter where I end up.

I did get to spend a week in the woods out of cell reception in early September but that was mostly camping with a bunch of nerds and ex LARPers.

apaul

@sphennings Kinda says something, don't you think?

Gooble Gobble One of Us We Accept Her

►

sphennings

2:21 AM

Yeah I really should take the time to go to Wildfire next year.

apaul

Nothing like them.

sphennings

Still a week of camping in tents being nonchalantly poly was incredibly nice.

@apaul I never said I wasn't a freak and weirdo. I just poorly masquerade as a mundane from 9-5 Monday through Friday.

apaul

@sphennings It's pretty common in the Burn community. Radical self expression/inclusion n' all.

@sphennings if you ever make it to a Burn, look for Camp Shameless ;)

sphennings

@apaul I know. Hence why I consider myself burner adjacent.

I also got to tell recruiters that I would be unreachable for a week which was very satisfying.

apaul

Always nice to unplug.

@sphennings Also nice to fly your freak flag and get to be yourself for a little while.

sphennings

2:30 AM

When I start looking for work I get rather locked into impressing every opportunity even if it isn't one that's not a good fit. In the past I've bent over backwards to try to please recruiters and hiring managers. Telling them that I'd be away for a week and there was nothing they could do about it gave me some time to take a breather and stop trying to impress them.

@apaul Especially since on the average day my partners are 2 and 3.5 hours away. Getting to hang out, learn to knit, cook over an open fire, isn't something I normally get to share with both of them.

apaul

@sphennings it's important to remember that's a two way street. They should be courting you as much as you're courting them. Sets a healthier standard if/when you get hired.

@sphennings That's awesome. Did everyone play nice?

sphennings

@apaul I got to show out my fire tending skills and general handyness.

@apaul They have a strong diplomatic back channel. There have been weeks where they are talking more than I am with either of them.

apaul

@sphennings Sounds like y'all are doing it right.

sphennings

@apaul I haven't been stabbed in my sleep so I call it a win. :p

Most of my poly drama is logistics.

apaul

@sphennings If your only poly drama is logistics you're definitely doing it right lol

sphennings

2:37 AM

When the three of us plus a metamore, and little brother are all cramming ourselves into a hotel room with one queen sized bed, things get a little stressful but that's mostly because I like to get my beauty sleep.

The con was worth it though.

@apaul I'd like to think so.

apaul

Anywho... I gotta run. My partner is making dinner tonight.

sphennings

@apaul Enjoy dinner!\

ThatRandomGuy

Is anyone familiar with anxiety issues?

sphennings

2:57 AM

@ThatRandomGuy We're more focused on how to interact with other people than personal issues like anxiety, but you may get some people in chat who would be willing to talk to you.

Personally I've sought professional help to deal with some anxiety issues which was really helpful for me.

Extroverted Main Man

3:38 AM

0

Q: Roomate on my wifi

I'm living in an apartment with a roomate. When they first moved in they didn't have a router and therefore could not connect to the internet. I offered to let them connect to my wifi until they were able to purchase a router. 2 months later they are still on my wifi. I occasionally play video g...

Noon

5:07 AM

That's an intrapersonal question, right? (@EmC )

apaul

5:51 AM

@Magisch Just to clarify... It's not that I'm not pissed off. I'm intensely pissed off, but to save this community we need to prioritize/triage. Get the site back on it's feet, and then go head hunting.

JAD

huh, that MSE announcement/discussion post lost like 40 points overnight :O

it seems to me the rest of the community is doing the being mad at SE. That leaves IPS the opportunity to get back on the rails

El'endia Starman

@JAD Not just from downvotes. A few people changed upvotes to downvotes.

JAD

ah lol. the post was edited

XD

I woke up to a reversal badge :P

El'endia Starman

Me too! I think half the answerers to that question got a Reversal badge.

Magisch

6:09 AM

This is just excessive:

wtb a way to make it so you don't get rep from an answer without CWing it

apaul

@Magisch Not directly. You could use that rep for bounties, so the issue doesn't fall out of the spotlight any time soon.

El'endia Starman

@Magisch 'wtb'?

Magisch

want to buy

internet shorthand for "i'd like"

El'endia Starman

Ah, gotcha. Well, at least the rep cap is a thing?

apaul

My bad. Read that as "would there be"

Magisch

6:19 AM

I need to stop talking like I'm in discord

apaul

@Magisch Gonna drop that question in the sandbox, right?

Magisch

@apaul yes, I got up like an hour ago, give me some time

currently reviewing in the LQP queue

apaul

@Magisch You people and your "sleeping" and "timezones"

@Tinkeringbell You should work up a question too.

Tinkeringbell

@apaul Ehhh... The ones I've been struggling with lately are.. sexist and/or religious/LGBTQ related. Not the best time to throw those out there now, just like in the past

I've been thinking, honestly, but aside from those issues my life is really, really bland and boring

Noon

@Tinkeringbell What makes you feel it's not the best time? I would have thought that, with HNQ gone, it would be the perfect time, no?

apaul

6:29 AM

@Tinkeringbell Why self censor? The difficult questions are usually the important questions.

@Noon Also this.

Tinkeringbell

@Noon I don't feel there's a way to phrase them without being nasty. I couldn't care less about HNQ... I'd have asked them before if there was a way to ask without being flame bait

I like to be a better person than those issues

I may have one about family... Perhaps I could work that into one soon

Noon

@Tinkeringbell Want to drop them on sandbox so that we can work them out? :P

apaul

@Tinkeringbell Oh? Sounds like you're chewing on some interesting stuff.

Noon

@Tinkeringbell That's admirable of you

Tinkeringbell

@apaul It probably is, though I don't think it has much to do with my Interpersonal Skills and more with the people around me.

@Noon Perhaps I'll drop the family stuff in there, as that's still a 'What should I do'...

I haven't yet decided on how I want to handle it.