I am interested in exercises or helpers in lowering the aversion of communicating by diminishing the overthinking/fears connected with this. Examples of this type of aversion might be not answering emails/texts in time or phone calls because of feeling blocked and not knowing how to express what ...
While I agree with the core of your answer, I would advise against doing the song and dance (taking the selfie and acting frustrated). It's very easy for this to come across as forced or disingenuous, which will lead to distrusting the person and thus refusing the favor.taking out your phone with the camera app open is fine, but don't stage the selfie attempt as it's needless acting which ends up counterproductive when its artificial nature is revealed. — Flater1 min ago
I think there is a lot of good advice in this answer, but I would reconsider the use of words like 'weird' and 'silly'. There is a risk that the tone that is set now for characterising the dementia may stick and a lifetime of it being weird and silly can set up additional barriers and even subconscious thoughts in people that she could be 'better' if she just stopped being silly. — Spagirl1 min ago
Thanks. The answers I got here so far focused a lot on handling the dog, so perhaps that's going to work better than trying to salvage a conversation :/
True. And I know that if I stay calm, usually a dog will stay calm too, and we can play. But I don't want to play on Saturday morning when I'm wearing fresh clothes :P
I have another answer that was wrongly deleted with no explanation or opportunity to address.
How to finish a date gracefully?
I want to now exactly what wrong with this Answer and why it was deleted.
I would also like the baseless accusation in the comments addressed.
Als je dit bordje ziet wees dan extra voorzichtig : de fiets(t)er is doof of slechthorend. Doe je mee aan een RT zodat vele mensen dit herkennen ? Floor zou daar heel blij mee zijn.
@doppelgreener Yeah. Or even just hear you approaching. I recently took a short bike ride through town wearing headphones, and I forgot to take them of noise cancelling. I'm sad to say I was a liability at that time :(
Today I'm experiencing the best piece of software I ever had to work with... My company developed its own social network and I'm currently trying to write a post to inform my co-workers abroad of the launching of a new integration platform. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY but every single time I'm typing a character on my keyboard, the text cursor goes back to the last punctuation mark. crying in silence
@Mithrandir I cycled to school with music on an mp3 player for years. It shouldn't be a problem, as long as you make it softer than your bike bell will ring ;)
It's the noise cancelling I forgot about in this case :P
The few times I've poked my head in here while I had some attention to spare for chatting it's mostly been dead xD Then my tab didn't want to reload, and man, closing the tab and re-opening it (or rebooting my computer overnight) sounded like sooo much work! :o
Stuff starts here: https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/19801/1599. He's still doing that a lot, and he's done some other stuff too since, like merging one of my merge requests then adding his own changes on top of that because I didn't want to add dead code to the codebase.
Now we've reached the point where there's a load of managers involved, and I've had to promise not to use SE anymore (his reasoning was something like 'if there's no q&a's about magik there, you have no business there, best practices/patterns/solutions that apply to java don't apply to magik so I don't want you on…
So today I'm kinda cheating by working from home :P
I refused to add dead code, I emailed another senior dev to confirm that. I also linked an SE post explaining dead code and bad idea in the mail.
Co-worker knows I am an SE mod, I mentioned it when he asked my hobbies/interest/timekillers.
So when the day came that I blew up over that merging things, and flagged in a few managers, he tried to link that post to me being a mod and it thus being something I should keep for my free time...
We kinda decided to not make it a big deal, and just keep of SE. But that also means no more chatting while I'm waiting for things to start up etc. ;)
So I'm kinda always looking over my shoulder now, as last Friday he tried to blame me for errors in Production that I had nothing to do with...
@TheTinyMan He's not a bad person, but I somehow think there's some age-gap that I can't bridge?
I even think my attempts so far might have left him feeling a bit threatened, hence his reactions back... but I don't know how to do it differently, I'm already dressing everything up as questions with loads of maybe's and perhapses and 'It's perfectly okay to do it this way, but I'd like to understand why's ....
That doesn't sound like an age-gap thing, that sounds like that's...I'm blanking on the term, there's a good term for this, but that sounds like there's someone who thinks that he's the only one who can get anything done and who knows the only valid path.
"Controlling" is the closest I'm coming up with but it doesn't quite cover it :-p
We'll see. I got some resources from my manager on managing teams with generational differences. And even though I don't really have to manage, this looks promising on first sight, so perhaps I'll try some of it, try and see if it can make in difference in that last week :)
@TheTinyMan Okay. I work for company A, outsourced to client B. Client B has teams C and D. I worked for C at the beginning of the year, but the budget for C ran out. Client B wanted to keep me working for them, so they temporarily (2,5 months) put me in team D. After January, I get to go back to either team C or to another, undefined team E :P
@TheTinyMan IPS is ... quiet... now that I no longer go through 30/40 new answers each evening fishing out the ones that need commenting/flagging ;) I also got invited to become a mod on MSE, but that's about just as quiet. Perhaps we need another Twitter scandal to get things to move there a bit? :P
Asides from that, co-worker doesn't want me on SE, scroll up :) Manager wants me to keep it up though, he's really charmed, especially with the 'Interpersonal Skills' thing...
@Tinkeringbell Haha, that's why I was asking, "when you're able to be on." xD It's awkward that you and your manager are giving into this guy's expectations. O.o
I think HNQ did two things: A lot of people chiming in, but sometimes people found questions they were able to leave amazingly detailed answers on. I kinda miss the latter, new, fresh faces that write great subjective answers ;) If I look at our latest questions, and the answers they got, answers seem to be getting shorter instead of more detailed/better explained/backed up. Might just be my feeling though ;)
@TheTinyMan Well, he's not the only manager involved ;) And while the manager on the client B side is quite neutral, this was the easiest way to 'quench' that complaint and get on with work ;)
@TheTinyMan My brother has an apartment, so we've been sanding/painting that one. He's again moving out sooner than me. I'm going to have to get in contact with a real estate agent sometime soon too, but I think I'll wait till after christmas/new year.
I want a real estate agent as they can apparently help you buy an apartment, they know of available ones before they generally hit the internet sites, so it's easier to get one and not hear 'it's already sold' whenever you react to an advertisement.
And over there?
@TheTinyMan Well, technically I was always first :P I moved out first when in university, moved back in after finishing that one. I must admit I wasn't really mature enough to live on my own anyways. But yeah, this will be the second time he moves out ;)
Are you asking about my home life? Things have been going pretty well there. The place hasn't been falling apart as much lately. There was a fourth roommate who was dating the married couple that also live with me, but that kind of blew up, so she moved out a couple of weeks ago. :-P
@Tinkeringbell Haha, I almost started dating her too, but her breakup with the others happened right around the same time we were considering it and I decided that that path would lead to too much strife and drama.
@Tinkeringbell Personally I've felt worse when my partners move away from somewhere they have roots, than when they move somewhere they aren't really attached to.
Hmm. Strange. My suspicious mind would expect second motives when someone seems a bit too eager to move away from a place they aren't really attached to.
Ehh, I can understand your concern. And I admit that she went from 'curious' to 'enthusiastic' when I mentioned how little I charge people who live with me. :-P
@Tinkeringbell There's always secondary motives. I hope that my partners will be open and forthright with me about them. When I moved across the country my primary motivation was that I found a good job but part of the reason I was looking in that city was that a partner of mine was there.
It does also help that this girl has a programming degree but never managed to break into the industry, and if she's living near me she has access to me as a local reference. xD
Right now I'd happily cover my partner's expenses for a couple of months while they looked for work, if they wanted to move to the city without first securing a job. But I'm in the fortunate position of being able to make that work financially and having been dating them for 4 years.
I'm the same way as @sphennings ... although I've been covering my current nesting partner's expenses for like two years while she looks for a job now. >.< Although she thinks she's got one now, pending a background check. Finally! xD
I have another answer that was wrongly deleted with no explanation or opportunity to address.
How to finish a date gracefully?
I want to now exactly what wrong with this Answer and why it was deleted.
I would also like the baseless accusation in the comments addressed.
