The Awkward Silence

scohe001

00:28

@Tinkeringbell as you predicted, so it has come to pass :P

Extroverted Main Man

01:04

0

Q: Pointing out that the problem is evident in the defensiveness

Seems like it would be kind of self evident, but it's something that I encounter fairly often when talking to some folks about issues of discrimination and bias that drives me crazy... When someone from a minority group says "that's racist/sexist/homophobic/etc" and the retort from someone from...

Extroverted Main Man

01:20

1

Q: How to deal with neighbor who won't lock door to apartment building?

I've lived in a city apartment rental (Brooklyn, NY) for about 15 years. I've had a downstairs neighbor for about 5 years who causes quite a bit of trouble. Within the last year, she has simply stopped ever locking the front door of the apartment building that we share. This is a standard key-op...

neighbors

user15026

01:47

@ExtrovertedMainMan Huh, I thought he made a meta about leaving....

apaul

@Ash He did, but then there was a glimmer of hope that things were changing on the network.

user15026

Okay, sure.

apaul

What, you didn't?

Catija

@apaul You do realize that you do in your question exactly what you're asking about, right?

apaul

@Catija How's that?

Catija

02:01

You, yourself, accuse yourself (in your per-emptory note) of being anti straight white men and then respond saying "I'm not, it's just X". How is that different?

> And before someone starts in with the whole "you're being biased too!!!!1!!1 Why can't straight white men talk about these things? Do you hate straight white men?" I don't hate straight white men. I just hate it when people deny my experiences and/or try to defend some pretty crappy behavior...

apaul

Hmm... Seems kinda thin.

Was more meant to be a statement about behavior rather than the often assumed perpetrator.

Catija

That's because you don't see yourself as a "perpetrator".

apaul

I don't hate straight white men. I just hate it when people deny my experiences and/or try to defend some pretty crappy behavior...

Catija

Well, I'm sure that most people wouldn't say "I hate all women"... they hate specific actions by those women.

apaul

@Catija Actually I do, I'm painfully aware. I fall short an awful lot of the time.

@Catija The thing is, in this context, all kinds of people have come at me. It's often straight white men, but they're certainly not the only homophobes in the world... I made the statement in order to get out in front of the usual backlash.

Catija

02:07

That really just looks like you're asking for more arguments... and it fails to assume good faith.

Let flagging take care of the arguments. Arguing the premise of the question isn't welcome here. You have no need to "fight" it in your question.

apaul

Oh really? I hadn't noticed. Feel free to edit it out if it bothers you that much.

Catija

...

apaul

Feel free to set a timer after you do, I'm sure someone will prove the point soon enough.

user15026

@apaul To me, it feels a lot like it's there to incite backlash, which I am trying to kinda take on faith that you aren't doing

user15026

but a lot of this conversation makes it sound like you're setting up another one of your "lightning rods" to prove a point and I really don't know how constructive that is

user15026

02:11

Or how fair it is to continually make these "lightning rods".

apaul

Honestly this one isn't. It's something that I struggle with, and it kinda looked like I wasn't the only one.

user15026

Well, this conversations, and your wording in your post, kinda makes it feel VERY antagonistic, and if that's not your intention, you may want to look at the post, and how you reacted here.

Catija

@apaul You do understand that calling it out doesn't stop people from saying it, right? I'd really like you to show some good faith and edit your post to make it less defensive.

HDE 226868

@apaul If I understand it correctly, your question can be abstracted to "I'm talking with someone about discrimination experienced by Group X. This person's not in Group X and thinks that the discrimination isn't occurring. How can I point out that this lack of self-awareness is part of the problem?"

. . . with suitable substitutions for Group X.

Is that, more or less, what you're going for? And if so, I would recommend peeling it down and just going with essentially that. It streamlines the question and takes away a lot of bits that are going to stick out and cause problems.

user15026

Well, I tried to answer, although it doesn't give you an OMG silver bullet

user15026

02:20

but it does reference starfish and teaspoons!

user15026

(It might also be a rambling mess, I'm spoon low and kinda brain mushy)

user15026

I suspect it might not be what you wanted but it's what I've got.

apaul

Brb

apaul

02:39

@HDE226868 Sorry, had to drive. Eh It's a bit more than lack of self awareness.

@Catija Had it occurs to you that there's some reasons that a person like me might be a little "defensive" when asking questions on SE at the moment? Really not trying to be harsh about it, but try giving a little breathing room.

user15026

Honestly, as someone who experiences a lot of what you do I kinda think your constant antagonistic feeling attitude and your constant assumptions that none of us understand is....really unfair, to say the least

3

ArtOfCode

and yet the title of your question... "the problem is evident in the defensiveness"

Catija

@apaul That doesn't even make sense as an argument. Are you saying that I should be defensive about posting stuff, too? Or Ash should? Why do you feel that you need breathing room when other people who are in similar groups are doing just fine? You feeling defensive doesn't need to be apparent in your posts.

user15026

I know it's hard to be kind when you face shit every damn day but if you go in angry and antagonistic, you're going to get that back

user15026

it SUCKS but it's true and I hate the world for it

user15026

02:52

I hate that I have to put on my kindness hat all the damn time

user15026

sometimes that thing chafes like...well, I'm a fat human, it's short season, draw your own metaphor

apaul

@Ash I guess that's kinda where I've been for a while now. I'm not great a playing nice. I'm asking the question because I'm trying to get better at it. Emptying the sea with a teaspoon sucks, and admittedly I get pissed off about having to do it that way.

user15026

@apaul oh, I never said you gotta be happy about the teaspoon

user15026

some days I dream of buckets

user15026

the hardest part about all of this is learning that a lot of it is being able to like...sit and be patient with my feelings about my teaspoon

apaul

02:58

But, I tried to tone it down. (And trying harder not to feel like having to do that is a symptom of the problem) I'm trying.

user15026

@apaul That's the hard part, going "well I gotta teaspoon but if people weren't like this I could have a bucket but now i have to be nice with my spoon when I wanna just drop the bucket on their heads"

apaul

I'd kinda prefer to open a wormhole at the bottom of the marian trench. But, ya that ends badly... what-if.xkcd.com/54

user15026

I tend to assume anything that actually hits What If ends badly for something :P

apaul

Usually

user15026

I think the hardest part for me in all of this stuff is realizing that I had to first sit with and be quiet with the fact that my well deserved anger at this stuff was impeding my ability to make it better

2

user15026

03:03

so part of that is knowing when burning things down makes sense (see: controlled field burns) and when it doesn't

apaul

Anywho, my partner's giving me that look, so I should probably sign off. Thanks @Ash

user15026

(I love my strength training for giving me somewhere to shunt the excess)

user15026

@apaul no problem

Extroverted Main Man

06:14

0

Q: How to make clear that I'm not being passive-aggressive and that accusing me of that is hurtful

My SO is hungry for a leftover gyro from earlier. I heat it up along with a taco. I can't say exactly why I made a decision to serve the taco; I just figure it was leftover too, so one of us will eat it, with my partner taking priority over me (since the initial action was already going to be for...

relationships conflicts

gparyani

07:36

0

Q: How can I politely ask a person why they did something, without coming across as being angry or expecting an apology?

(FYI: The way my mind works is slightly different from how most people's minds work. In particular, I tend to base my thinking on reasons rather than intuition in many cases.) Recently, I came across a person who keeps doing something I don't like them doing, for various reasons (though those ac...

conversations politeness

@Ash Can you please make conversation a synonym of conversations?

Mithrandir

Why did you ping Ash?

Cashbee

Hello All and Happy Wednesday

gparyani

@Mithrandir Last non-bot user to post in this chat

(and moderator)

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How can I politely ask a person why they did something, without coming across as being angry or expecting an apology?

(FYI: The way my mind works is slightly different from how most people's minds work. In particular, I tend to base my thinking on reasons rather than intuition in many cases.) Recently, I came across a person who keeps doing something I don't like them doing, for various reasons (though those ac...

conversations politeness

Mithrandir

They're not a mod on IPS, though.

gparyani

07:39

@Tinkeringbell

3 mins ago, by gparyani

@Ash Can you please make conversation a synonym of conversations?

Cashbee

To me it sounds like one of them can be removed. maybe take it to meta?

gparyani

@Cashbee It's just incessant because you get a big red error message if you forget to type the 's', because the system prevents non-mods from creating tags with very similar names.

Cashbee

@gparyani oh, so conversation does not exist?

gparyani

@Cashbee No.

Cashbee

So you suggest we make singular-plural duplicates for each tag?

I don't think that is necessary. But take it to meta if you think it is a good idea. Meta is the place for such suggestions ;) because if Tinker does now what you suggest, she will be responible for it. but if there was a meta about it that results in a yes, do it, all is fine.

gparyani

07:45

@Cashbee Stack Overflow has them for quite a lot of tags.

@Cashbee I don't want to post a whole bunch of synonym requests at once.

Cashbee

@gparyani great, then you can add that to your meta question to maybe get more agreement :)

ask it generally, not only for the specific conversation. like I did it before, say something like singular-plural duplicates.

and maybe link to some of the SO tags that you claim (no accusation, I'm just unknowing) there are plural-duplicates of

user5389107

@apaul I'm generally apprehensive about participating right now. That is not because I'm autistic and also not because I'm asexual and also not because I have social anxiety. It's because I fail to properly deal with these issues myself in the context of SE right now. I resent the implication that it could be because this is just out of my control completly. The way I've always seen it is that it's not my place to put my personal issues on anyone else.

Tinkeringbell

@gparyani Please do like Cashbee asked, and take it to meta. I'm not around for long enough to know how to handle the whole tag thing anyways ;)

If it's on meta, I'll have a reminder and the other mods a notification that this may be something we should do ;)

ArtOfCode

tags are weird

gparyani

@Tinkeringbell Is it your first time being a mod?

If I may ask?

ArtOfCode

07:57

tag synonyms are weirder

Tinkeringbell

@gparyani Yep

@user5389107 Hello stranger! Are you still doing well?

ArtOfCode

tag merges are basically hallucinogens

gparyani

@user5389107 I am all three of those things. (See what I'm talking about?)

user5389107

@Tinkeringbell not particularly, but thanks for asking

Tinkeringbell

@user5389107 Damn. Hope things pick up soon then :)

user5389107

08:01

@gparyani welcome to the uneviable club

Cashbee

@gparyani I think your FYI at the start of your question is a bit offensive (if only a bit). You indirectly say that most of us are not reasonable. Would you edit that out?

Tinkeringbell

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/14214/1599 ... could use some eyes. Also, there's more answers like that, too many IMO? Should I take it to meta? The asker is asking about a skill (enforcing a rule) and is basically getting all kinds of life-hacks, but not actually skills?

Mithrandir

life hacks are NaAs

Tinkeringbell

Tell that to the flag queue

I think the problems start with Kate's answer: It is okay, it gives some guidance on the 'enforce' part, asides from the slippers.

But I think many people just see the slippers and go 'Yay, fun!'

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/14215/1599 is a duplicate of interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/14212/1599 but without the skills advice?

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell oh don't i wish

Cashbee

08:12

hey @FlagQueue, life hacks are NaAs

Tinkeringbell

@Cashbee I hope it got the message :P

Quick question: Is it okay to go rant to the neighbors about burning stuff? It stinks and almost ruined our laundry...

Mithrandir

Yes.

Cashbee

totally

ah well..

I wouldnt' rant

Tinkeringbell

Good. I'll be back soon.

Cashbee

I would ask politely

ArtOfCode

08:18

only if you take a pitchfork with you

Tinkeringbell

I was thinking of a torch

ArtOfCode

por que no los dos

Cashbee

---€ here take the european one

Tinkeringbell

@ArtOfCode I had to Google that, but I'm not taking both. It's just next door neighbours

They're the messy, anti social kind.. :(.

I am going to say something though, this isn't normal

ArtOfCode

Yeah... I sympathise, I've got some of them next door

Cashbee

08:21

sounds like a rant is appropriate

Tinkeringbell

😉 I'll let you know whether I survived later.

Cashbee

I'm already selfconsious when i smoke on my balcony xD

Tinkeringbell

I could of course also act like my nose is bleeding and call 112 and send firefighters their way?

There's enough smoke to pull it off, I think

Cashbee

that is one expensive lesson

or are false fire alarms free in holland?

ArtOfCode

The worst you'll get in most of Europe is a moderate fine. You're not going to have to pay the full callout cost.

Tinkeringbell

08:24

I can't find anything about calling when there's smoke :P

Cashbee

ooh, a question I was always wondering. do you prefer the netherlands or holland? is holland insensitive in any way? Someone once told me I should use the netherlands, but I forgot why

Tinkeringbell

There's some stuff on 'broekzakgesprekken'...

gparyani

I usually just use ISO country codes, e.g. "NL"

Tinkeringbell

Netherlands 😉 Holland is a province :P

ArtOfCode

@Tinkeringbell when there's smoke, there's fire...

Cashbee

08:24

@Tinkeringbell ah. ok :) thx

A J

as anticipated

Tinkeringbell

@AJ That's an off-topic 'What to do'... It's way too broad

We can't even manage the answers there with 'they're asking how to enforce'

Cashbee

26 mins ago, by Cashbee

@gparyani I think your FYI at the start of your question is a bit offensive (if only a bit). You indirectly say that most of us are not reasonable. Would you edit that out?

@gparyani ^

gparyani

@Cashbee I opted to leave it in because the question may come across as weird to those who don't know that my way of thinking is...different. I'm on the autism spectrum BTW

Mithrandir24601

@Tinkeringbell I had to call out the fire brigade when there was (just) smoke once - it would have been ~~quite~~ very serious if they didn't come - someone in the flat below mine stupidly decided to leave a towel on a hob, which they left on. As a result, I don't particularly want to see smoke of any sort in my life again :P

A J

08:31

@Tinkeringbell hence the comment

theenigma017

Will i run out of flags ? Or are they replenished every once in a while ?

Tinkeringbell

@theenigma017 Yeah. You get 10, and after that you can buy another 100 for $5.99 :P

On a more serious note, you start with 10 each day, and for each 10 helpful flags you get another free one, up to a maximum of 100 a day :)

theenigma017

wha ..?

gparyani

@theenigma017 Once a day. You can earn more flags per day by having your flags marked "helpful".

@Tinkeringbell I would have taken that literally, and it would have offended me

theenigma017

OK

Loong

08:35

@theenigma017 interpersonal.stackexchange.com/help/privileges/flag-posts

Tinkeringbell

@gparyani Yeah, it needed a smiley :P

gparyani

@Tinkeringbell What's "colon P"? :)

Tinkeringbell

@gparyani How would that be offensive? :/

gparyani

(My response from...seven years ago)

@Tinkeringbell Because you told me a lie

Cashbee

@gparyani I think the question is very good and does not appear weird to me at all.

Tinkeringbell

08:37

Oh, I like this. I'm going to send mega smileys more often :P

skull

lol

gparyani

@Cashbee I've been yelled at by quite a few people for this line of thinking.

user5389107

against better judgement I tried my hand at answering something again: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/14232/2347

Tinkeringbell

@skull Hey! Welcome :)

skull

hi, thanks :-)

Cashbee

08:39

@gparyani I understand your choice to leave it in and will not object. But, at least reword it so it doesn't say most of us are irrational ;) you can still state what you want without offending anyone ;)

Tinkeringbell

@gparyani Ehh.. That takes some thinking, but may make sense. Does the smiley help in conveying that it's just a joke?

gparyani

@Cashbee TBH I don't exactly see how it's offensive.

@Tinkeringbell It does today, but six years ago it wouldn't have

Tinkeringbell

@user5389107 It needs a link or some explanation of what the socratic method is maybe? Looks great for the rest :)

@gparyani Well, I'm glad I'm talking to you now then :)

gparyani

@Tinkeringbell Right :)

theenigma017

In the blog it says stackexchange has ads , I haven't seen one here ...yet :p

Cashbee

08:46

@theenigma017 no idea if that's true.. adblock for the win

gparyani

97

Q: Affiliate Ads Are Coming To The Network

Some time ago, we announced that certain SE sites will have advertising enabled. This has gone well and we're extremely thankful to everyone for their support and feedback. Because it has been successful so far, we're going to be extending the program to the majority of our graduated sites. Well,...

discussion stackexchange advertising

tl;dr ads are only enabled on a small portion of sites

A J

@skull Hello there! Welcome to The Awkward Silence! Did you come here looking for me? :P

skull

thanks :-)

nah

just browsing the network of places to hang out

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to help a friend who has faced several personal, related problems in a short timespan

For what it's worth, this friend (I'll call him Jon) has Asperger's. The problems Lately, Jon's life has been a rollercoaster of emotions. It all started when his mom (I'll call her Jane), after suffering 10 years of all kinds of abuse, tried to report her wife and she discovered it, so she lef...

friends depression helping

Tinkeringbell

@skull This is a good place to hang out :)

Cashbee

08:53

Hello @skull and welcome to the awkward silence. You are very welcome to hang out here if you wish.

skull

thanks :-D

::stars room as favourite::

ArtOfCode

oh hey we get to throw the cap'n overboard later

Tinkeringbell

@skull Yeah! If it fits your timezone, join our mutiny: chat.stackexchange.com/rooms/info/61165/…

skull

hmmm...

gparyani

@Tinkeringbell Meaning?

Tinkeringbell

08:58

@gparyani I have no idea, @Mithrandir planned it. But it's going to be fun, I'm sure :)

user5389107

btw gratz @Cashbee to RO

I haven't been here in a while I missed everything...

Cashbee

@user5389107 thanks. Do I know you? (did you have a username that was more memorable?) :D

aaaah

user5389107

@Mithrandir :( I changed my name on purpose

Mithrandir

@user5389107 oh, sorry

user5389107

to make it less personal for me

Tinkeringbell

09:00

Clean it up ;)

Cashbee

@user5389107 good to see you again! welcome back

ArtOfCode

Heh, I remember numbers better anyway :P

skull

lol

srsly?

user5389107

line of thinking was maybe if it's a generic avatar and number I won't get so emotionally invested so quickly again

ArtOfCode

Generic User (tm)

user5389107

09:02

doesn't have to make sense, I'm just trying to work on some of my issues in a way that doesn't too much bother other people

ArtOfCode

alternatively, you could become another Mithrandir and get lost in the endless sea of them

Mithrandir5389107

user5389107

@ArtOfCode I'd still be the only non-mod mithrandir

so distinctive

ArtOfCode

yeah I'm mostly joking :P

skull

issues?

interpersonal

or

skill

:P

(is this when the room earns its name :)

Tinkeringbell

Yeah, kinda 😀 Btw, it's interpersonal skills, it belongs together ;)

skull

09:08

and/or :)

Cashbee

@Tinkeringbell your avatar can't display in the list of users in this room. Next to your messages I can see the parrot though

Tinkeringbell

@Cashbee Oh? That's strange...

Cashbee

Am I the only one that has that problem?

skull

nope

Tinkeringbell

(there's complaints in other rooms as well :P)

Cashbee

09:10

@Tinkeringbell fixed!

Tinkeringbell

@Cashbee What did you do?

Cashbee

@Tinkeringbell nothing.

.. i inspected the source code for both userlist avatars and the one next to your msgs

then it suddenly showed. You mean you still can't see it? it fixed only for me?

Tinkeringbell

@Cashbee I can see it, but I've got a userscript running ;P

user5389107

@Ash It's a sad state of affairs that never ends

You always need to explain yourself, you always need to be polite in the face of people who aren't, always take the high ground, let no weakness show, and be iron clad in your argument

and even then some people just walk away because the emotional work of processing the discussion doesn't interest them

Tinkeringbell

@user5389107 That almost sounds like moderating SE ;)

user5389107

09:24

And then you get told you're emotional or overreacting and people gaslight the hell out of you and it takes a therapist and years of work to unpack it

clearly I have some biases of my own that show here

Tinkeringbell

@user5389107 Everyone has those ;-). At least you're trying.

I've met people that don't, and it gets a whole lot more frustrating to be on the other side if you notice people actually don't (and I know, because they told me).

skull

mean people are everywhere

isn't that the motivation behind having a "thick skin"?

user5389107

for me thick skin means I bottle all of that pent up frustration up until I get a breakdown

which is unhealthy

doesn't help that my family really dislikes shows of weakness

skull

right, don't bottle-up anything...

Cashbee

@skull use zip bags instead

skull

09:33

if it bugs you, let it out right then and there

what i meant by "thick-skinned" is like water off a ducks back

don't let anything sink-in

i've had people swear at me literally two inches from my face at work; but i just either walk away or swear back

ussually, the former :)

user5389107

in real life i'm non confrontational to an absolute fault

skull

knowing that is important

know thyself

36 mins ago, by skull

(is this when the room earns its name :)

Cashbee

@skull silence happens. Eventually it will be broken.

skull

i'm just joking :-)

humor is a good release, for me

Cashbee

@skull I know, you're not the first. the joke is pretty obvious to make

user5389107

09:48

I still think we could have gotten away with naming this chat "the relation ship"

3

skull

lol

Cashbee

@user5389107 Which would make the upcoming mutiny pretty appropriate xD

Tinkeringbell

@user5389107 That only got three votes though... :P

interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/18/… For those interested ;)

I'm kinda glad it didn't make it: relationship-therapy questions are occurring too often for my taste ;)

Cashbee

@Tinkeringbell Freud's couch LOL

user5389107

I kinda liked wallflower garden

perfect spot for rene...

Tinkeringbell

09:53

Haha that one was cool too.

I missed the whole chatroom 'pick a name' thing :(

skull

@user5389107 i hear you loud and clear about displays of emotion

my fam is the same

omg, you're also the room owner?

:O

this is the first popular room i've been in where no mods are on the room owners list

Cashbee

@skull they removed themselves as RO. they have more powers as mods anyways

oh, you mean mods in general, not the mods of the current stack?

Tinkeringbell

@skull It isn't necessary, and it's nice to have community moderation as well ;)

Cashbee

goes afk for ~1 hour.

Tinkeringbell

(Enjoy lunch!)

skull

10:09

cya

skull

10:25

-5

A: Don't let moderators be chatroom owners

The only real answer to my question comes from a compromise which uses the following argument. What I am suggesting here is a form of self-government. Since, the system records and graphs the activity of all the users in the room, why not choose the room owner based on that data, rather than th...

Tinkeringbell

@skull Well, there's truth in everything there ;-)

skull

including all the down votes?

Tinkeringbell

Yes, it's 'easy' to have moderators on the list, since then you can easily see who is a moderator ... but that'd mean people will most likely bypass the 'regular' room owners and go straight to the mod

As for that idea of having the room owner picked based on activity, that's how I became a room owner in the first place.

The previous one hadn't been around for a long time, and then a new room owner get's automatically appointed based on activity

Just one though.

I think the downvotes are because it isn't actually an answer to the question?

skull

28 mins ago, by skull

this is the first popular room i've been in where no mods are on the room owners list

:-)

Tinkeringbell

Hahaha well, true. We're probably kinda strange in that way. Some sites prefer to have their moderators moderate the room as well ;-)

ArtOfCode

10:31

and yet it's one of the most mod-filled rooms

skull

yup

can a mod kick another mod from a room?

:P

IPS Comment Bot

+1. This is the very civilized Japanese way. (Though in Japan, you wouldn't remind people of doing this. Nor would you need to.) — Stephan Kolassa 19 secs ago

#14197 Stephan Kolassa (541 rep) | A: How to enforce a "No Shoes" policy in my apartment? (score: 50) | posted 16 hours ago by Kate Gregory (18334 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by Kate Gregory (18334 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["+1"]

doppelgreener

@Tinkeringbell incidentally the most active chat user is a fallback room owner

Tinkeringbell

@doppelgreener Huh? Like, someone with no powers but their words?

doppelgreener

in RPG General Chat, Sep 14 '13 at 13:11, by Feeds

BESW has been automatically appointed as owner of this room. (What does this mean?)

which points to chat.stackexchange.com/faq#automatic-owner

Tinkeringbell

10:36

@doppelgreener I know that! chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/40840854#40840854

doppelgreener

nice :D

Tinkeringbell

That's how I became an RO, that was what I explained.. (or at least was trying to :P)

skull

nice chatting with all you people; thanks for the hospitality

cya

doppelgreener

@Tinkeringbell ooh, now i see it @_@

i glanced over that bit

@skull ttfn!

Tinkeringbell

@skull See you soon! (hopefully)

IPS Comment Bot

10:42

That assumption is at best corrollary to OP's question. His question is more along the lines of getting through to people, which you don't acknowledge or address at all. Also directly stating that anyone from a minority group is "likely" to claim sexism/racism/homophobia at every slight is offensive and wrong. Consider revising your answer please. -1 for now. — user5389107 58 secs ago

#14237 user5389107 (7851 rep) | A: Pointing out that the problem is evident in the defensiveness (score: 0) | posted 26 minutes ago by Edgar (2559 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["+1"]

doppelgreener

that's a double-up of the same comment...

thesecretmaster

My bad, I was testing a thing.

doppelgreener

phew :)

Cashbee

11:09

what is this fp thing?

also, "regesterd"? :D

thesecretmaster

I type fast and I type wrong :)

→ 31 messages moved to Trash

Cashbee

oh, fp = 'false positive' i guess?

thesecretmaster

Yeah, tp == true positive

It's going to be a way to track the accuracy of the various regexes.

Cashbee

@thesecretmaster does it actually learn based off that feedback?

doppelgreener

fr: change the false positive feedback response to WRONGO

Cashbee

11:11

@thesecretmaster ah, ok. nice

thesecretmaster

in The Closet, 13 secs ago, by IPS Comment Bot

Starting at rev 49d5399 on branch master (Added 'WRONGO' feedback)

doppelgreener

noice

XD

Cashbee

lol

thesecretmaster

Also, some things about it: It doesn't track who gave the feedback, it just incriments a counter. There's no way to retract (yet), and sometimes it'll error out.

Cashbee

does it matter if we give the feedback as a reply to the actual comment of the bot, or if we ping him with '@IPSCommentBot'

ArtOfCode

11:17

hey @thesecretmaster what req/s did we figure max load was on SCOT?

thesecretmaster

@Cashbee Yes, it has to be an actual reply. But it doesn't matter which message you reply to.

Cashbee

@thesecretmaster ok, thx!!

thesecretmaster

@ArtOfCode ... a lot? Because CloudFlare cached a lot of it?

ArtOfCode

that... is true

any idea what the figure was?

thesecretmaster

I wanna say we got up to 2k reqs/second?

ArtOfCode

11:19

sounds familiar

thesecretmaster

Also, IIRC we were using up your CPU credits.

ArtOfCode

which is, uh... a bit nuts

yeah, we were

Wanted to know to contrast it to metasmoke... which is currently struggling to take 7 requests/sec

thesecretmaster

To which routes?

user5389107

Oh wow the answer I commented on attracted a stronger response then I thought it would

I was hesitant to flag as r/a right away

thesecretmaster

@ArtOfCode Maybe we should move this converstion to CHQ?

IPS Comment Bot

11:55

@gparyani If your intro parenthetical is to say you are autistic (based on your previous question), I suggest just saying that and/or adding the tag - we have a number of users here familiar with it or on the spectrum themselves, so people will understand what it means. — Em C 5 secs ago

#14228 Em C (6966 rep) | Q: How can I politely ask a person why they did something, without coming across as being angry or expecting an apology? (score: 3) | posted 4 hours ago by gparyani (226 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

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