@tombull89 It pisses me off more than coming to work and dealing with the same asshats that pose the same questions

@Travis then you need a clue-by-four by your desk

@NathanC Is that actually for sale? I am strongly tempted to buy one of those.

@Cole ...you realize that would be suitable grounds for a discrimination suit right? :)

@Zoredache any standard piece of wood (preferably 4 feet long by 2 feet wide) will do :)

@NathanC The best ones have "CLUE" (either raised or engraved) on them

@NathanC Right, but I was hoping for something nicely finished with an engraved description or something.

@voretaq7 I don't think body modifications are covered

I wish there was one actually. It's a meme that never quite caught on. :(

I figure if users just see it, and the description, they might shape up without me having to use it.

Pretty sure I'm the only one in here that has visible tattoos/stretched lobes

@Cole discriminating on the basis of appearance (assuming your role isn't customer-facing) is generally a Bad Idea

Alternatively, thinkgeek.com/product/595d/?srp=3

of course they could contrive a "real" reason to not want you too

@voretaq7 Would you hire a weirdo with all of that shit in their face?

@voretaq7 it is customer facing

Which is why I was asking.

I obviously wouldn't leave my lime green silicone tunnels in.

@Cole You know what isn't customer facing? Your mom.

rofl

Oh myyyy

@ScottPack lolz

She's actually just out of surgery

as of an hour or so ago

Vocal chord reconstruction surgery. My dad called to let me know everything went okay. I said "Well how long till she can talk?" He said "She's talking now....it never stops."

@Cole Prognosis is good.

@NathanC a simple shirt isn't enough. I am looking for an actual club I can hang on the cubicle wall, that has the implied threat clearly spelled out on the club.

@JoelESalas it's her second surgery for it

But thinkgeek was a nice idea, it reminded me that they had a 'suggest a product' page. I have submitted it now.

@Cole you COULD just get your entire ear tattoo'd to match

say you're green.

@voretaq7 lol. I mean I really have no problem putting solid plugs in. But really, taking them out would look worse. Like cat buttholes.

@Cole maybe if she didn't have to keep yelling at you to clean your damn room...

@voretaq7 or cancer.

@Cole Starred for cat-butt reference.

@Cole yes but all moms yell at their children to clean their damn rooms

@voretaq7 Not just moms!

@voretaq7 actually...I was weird and OCD, and my room was spotless..

(even the ones whose children keep immaculate rooms. It's just a mom thing)

She yelled at my sister, because she's a fucking slob.

@Cole dude I could have just polished the floors of my room and my mom would find shit for me to clean

@voretaq7 lol well damn

I mean I am a total slob, but I can clean up when I have to (i.e. when we're about to cross the threshold from nagging to yelling and chasing me with the vacuum)

I'm surprised no one has said "well it's your fault for getting tattoos/stretching your lobes so deal with not getting a job!"

@Cole … this really doesn't need any context. In fact, much better without.

@MikeyB right.

Internal jobs dont seem to mind my tattoos/earrings much

I understand customer facing would. But I've done consulting before and it wasn't a big deal. Depends a lot on their customer base I would think.

@MikeyB super accurate

actually they're just large holes

but as they close they look like buttholes

@Cole tunnel plugs get you windows NT. It's your own fault.

@DennisKaarsemaker I've never worn tunnels to an interview.

I worked at NetApp with plugs - wasn't a big deal at all.

I also would hate to have to wear long sleeves in the summer

I'm just going to leave this here 'cuz its cool (cf. this)

that's pretty interesting

It tells me I do linux and I don't do windows. Shocking.

@DennisKaarsemaker no way

hah, and it tells me I avoid questions tagged hp. The only question I ever asked has that tag :)

Apparently I would prefer to avoid Windows 7 and nginx. This is black magic for shizzle.

@DennisKaarsemaker snap

@DennisKaarsemaker says I avoid questions tagged hp too. Probably because @ewwhite takes them all :P

@Cole :D

@voretaq7 tomcat?

Yup - those are the things I avoid alright.

@Cole Tainted by the touch of Java

Everyone should avoid tomcat

No surprise here as well.

@voretaq7 Our avoidances are very similar.

@Cole I love tomcat

I took a vacation day next Wednesday....to go to Six Flags.

@JoelESalas the only tom-cat I love is @TomO'Connor

@ScottPack Well the things that suck the most are often also the least secure...

@ScottPack I just had a chicken finger hoagie. AVOID THAT

@voretaq7 that also applies to women...

I hate the word hoagie.

@MDMarra What manner of chicken has fingers? Or are you talking about feet? Because there's not much meat on the feet.

@ScottPack Y U NO LOVE hyper-v?

Not that a "grinder" or as it's said up here "grinda" sounds any better.

@Cole hoagie

@voretaq7 I have little opinion on it.

@MikeyB ho

...we really need modelrailroads.stackexchange.com so we can have a ho

Someone should change the text "up to X of their answers" to "up to X of his or her answers" ... grammar ftw.

@Iain Out of curiousity, which question were you discussing with @syneticon-dj? If I misidentified one that should've been flagged instead of answering, I'd like to know. Thanks.

@RyanRies what if we have people who are gender fluid/neutral and don't use his or her?!

GENDER-RACIST

@RyanRies nope!

@Cole stop being nonconforming damn you!

@RyanRies I'd prefer to just remove "of their"

@voretaq7 I don't understand genderqueer, but I would respect someone's wishes....but I still don't get it.

then the whole thing would fit on one line

@voretaq7 No, just send all the non-conformists here so that they can all be conform to their non-conformism together in one place.

@voretaq7 Even better

I notice that most people who have posted their lists seem to avoid Windows

NERDS!

It'll be put in my queue (near the back). I'm still figuring out how the fuck custom workflows work in SCSM

BRB, writing a "Windows is DYING!" post for slashdot

@Cole Why are you channeling @MDMarra?

@Adrian in hopes my beard will grow.

NERDS!

@Cole Mark does have a very sexy beard.

@RyanRies You need to do everything cool through a custom MP in XML :(

@Adrian sup ladies

@RyanRies Windows user hates the command line. and linux. And Windows XP (Nobody likes Windows XP!)

@Cole am I the only person that thinks the term 'gender-fluid' sounds like it has some icky connotations. Is that some kind of weird oil or grease or something? Can you buy 55 gallon drum of gender-fluid?

@Adrian this is the one I was talking about serverfault.com/q/509654/9517 I don't think it has anything to do with you. This is the one he thought I was talking about serverfault.com/questions/509665/… again I don;'t think you had anything to do with it. There is another Adrian from the land of cold fizzy piss beer who mentioned it

@Iain Poor chap. I wouldn't wish piss beer on anyone.

@Zoredache I'm sure you can order it from Japan. From either gender.

@Zoredache You can, but be careful with Colbert's brand. That stuff can impregnate while airborne.

@Zoredache I agree. Grosses me out, not a fan of the word "fluid".

@voretaq7 Well I'm a very command-line forward Windows user, as long as its Powershell :)

Or "discharge" for that matter.

@Zoredache 55 Gallon Drum of Gender Fluid? Nah - doesn't sound as cool as "55 Gallon Drum of L00B".

While we're over sharing

@RyanRies The tag predictor disagrees. And everyone knows algorithms are flawless.

Heheh

Sample size dammit!

@RyanRies you said size doesn't matter!

but it does.

full capture

@DennisKaarsemaker "She was lying"

2 more hours ugh

@voretaq7 They always lie. Even when they think they're not.

@DennisKaarsemaker Trust me, you can only stretch your mouth so far.

@PauskaSock you're a sock - you're elastic!

@voretaq7 not after it's used...

@voretaq7 You can only get stretched so much… just ask hotsexyjo.

At first, I was ambivalent about Xen. Sure, all FOSS virtualization is made alike! It's not all made alike, friends. Xen is a terrible crime committed against IT.

@PauskaSock is that the modern goatse?

@JoelESalas Xen is hideous, agreed. KVM is sexy, libvirt is sweet. To stretch this: vSphere is bitter, Hyper-V is salty.

@voretaq7 I'm talking about today, right now, how does Xen "handle"

VMWare still has my virtualization loyalty (but Microsoft is making inroads with Hyper-V).

You know what's cool? vSphere and Hyper-V

It's complete shit. Errors all over the place, can't do basic kernel updates without making it impossible to boot VMs

@JoelESalas I stand by my statement: Xen Shouldn't Be

as in "It should not be allowed to exist. It's that terrible"

Ohhhhh yes.

@voretaq7 You betcha. I'll let you google it rather than dropping a link into chat.

@PauskaSock no thanks. I've seen enough horrors in my life - I'm pretty much immune to them

Dammit, I cannot resist the compulsion to buy Humble Bundles.

@MikeyB It took me a few months but I realized I never play them so I stopped buying them

Indie game devs get me right in the feels though

@MikeyB Same! I still haven't played like 90% of them...

@JoelESalas I buy them when there's something I want to play in them

which isn't too frequently because a lot of the games don't grab me.

@JoelESalas Indie game devs are how we got Wolfenstein 3D - so I feel kinda obligated to support them

@MikeyB I often buy them for the included music. Some of the games have nice sound tracks.

@JoelESalas I won't hesitate to support the indie devs. Heck, I bought Game Dev Tycoon solely because of the stunt they pulled

Haha, I remember that.

People bitched that it was DRM ...it was funny.

@MikeyB same here

it wasn't a bad game either

@voretaq7 It's kind of fun ;)

anyone who is going to go through that much effort to code a "piracy feature" into pirated copies of their game deserves my 8 bucks.

You gotta figure that was at least a week or two of extra work

@voretaq7 Is Wolfenstein 3D really Indie? Wasn't Carmack working already working at Apogee?

@Zoredache id started with the Commander Keen series - Apogee was just their publisher

though I guess having a publisher they might not really count as "indie"

Right, but I vaguely recall from 'Master's of Doom' that they were working in the Apogee office.

@Zoredache softdisk way back at the start IIRC, then Apogee when the Keen series really started to take off

that was back when shareware was actually a thing.... we're old, aren't we?

@voretaq7 I think shareware is now "F2P" or "P2W"

@MikeyB P2W?

@voretaq7 pay-to-win

@MikeyB ah - I guess that was id's model

Here's part 1 of 3. Buy the game if you want parts 2 & 3.

I think I told you guys last Friday my manager sent out an email about how no one is to send an email the day of saying "I'm WFH today" or "Vacation day"

@Cole fair enough.

What does one of the guys do today? at 8am? "WFH today"

@Cole just had two employees send "i'm not going to be in the office" emails within 10 minutes of each other heh

@Cole ransack his cubicle

Nothing there

He calls out 2-3 times a week, every week

My manager is in Europe, so he probably thinks he won't remember on Monday.

If he's sending emails he will...

paper trail ftw!

some people man

commander keen

This just in: Xen is guaranteed to destroy your data

god mode 4lyfe

@RyanRies ever do anything with DPM?

Yes

It's really weird to me that you have to have the Hyper-V role installed to properly backup Hyper-V VMs

Maybe because the role installs some "shared" tools it needs

no idea ...haven't messed with hyper-v all that much

that's exactly what it does

Yeah that is funky... you'd think they would package the tools separately

yeah

like, as a DPM feature or something

I hear there may be some Hyper-V in the new Xbox

So we're hiring a person for the networking team (currently 1 manager and 1 employee, other employee was promoted to Voice/Telecomm manager)

@RyanRies I haven't kept on on the next gen console thing

Dave Cutler is on the Xbox team :)

I have a 360, wii, and PS3 and don't use any of them

Dave fucking Cutler

I'm done with console gaming

haha

Apparently the manager of the networking dept said "I don't want to hire a guy that has like 5-10 years experience, because he'll tell me how we should be doing things."

I can't make this shit up.

i feel like a fucking rabbit... eating salad for lunch

hmm, when I read that, I'd swear the 4th and 5th word were transposed.

And that was disturbing, even for the comms room...

@DennisKaarsemaker lol

put on a little weight since the baby was born, trying to get rid of it

@MattBear that's a losing battle. I gained 5 after high school, 5 after marriage, 5 after each of my 3 kids.. and 5 just because

@Cole Oh wow, that's funny.

5 after college, 5 after marriage, 5 after baby...

all in a year

@NathanC it's sad.

I'd imagine so...it's like saying "let's hire someone who has no idea what they're doing!"

-_-

Heh, google told me the answer...

granted it was on the dreaded website-that-charges-to-view-answers-unless-you-are-google

@NathanC yeah I just found that

The up arrow key :)

Anyway, time to go home....wheee!

@rex 25 in 6 months after shattering my wrist. Took 4 years to get rid of that weight. :(

blah I can't even answer a question right today

Today sucks, overall

I'm very very close to installing Fedora 18 on this MBP.

@Cole you should punch it in the face

I want to, or cry.

or both

testing something in a production environment serverfault.com/q/510027/9517 gtfo

@Cole punch it in the cat hole!

My girlfriend was like "Do you want me to come down tonight?" I said "No, I just want to be left alone." She replied "Are you really sure?" -_-

I said "I'm 110% sure, I really am not in a good mood and want to be left alone."

@Cole "I want you to GO down, just don't talk so much"

@JoelESalas she's just really been irritating/pissing me off

@Cole I've had that conversation.

@Cole do not punch her in the face though :)

It's healthy for the relationship to say "You know what? I like you a lot. But sometimes I'm tired of your fucking face"

@JoelESalas LOL

@JoelESalas she just really pissed me off about throwing the hissy fit last night when I said to just come over tomorrow (tonight) since I had to study for my VCP.

@Cole So now we have that policy, where requesting alone time isn't punishable by anything

And she didn't stfu when she got to my place.

@JoelESalas she gets all butt hurt like I don't like her anymore.

@JoelESalas that is a damn good idea... hows it working out?

@MattBear Extraordinarily effective, I have never been so high in my entire life

Her days off are on Monday's. She fucking blows my phone UP on Monday's when I'm at work and gets pissy when I don't respond.

This is recent, like the past 2 weeks

@Cole Right! You shouldn't have to make an excuse, just say "I have to go take care of none of your fucking business"

@JoelESalas only alone time I get is when I go run, or im driving home

@JoelESalas I wasn't making an excuse

@MattBear It's enough to make you crazy

I ended up failing my VCP by a few points because I didn't get to review the vApp shit which is what made me fail.

@JoelESalas im gonna suggest it... haha

the only reason running is alone time, is because im a lot faster then she is :p

@MattBear And I'm fortunate to be in a situation where we both always have lots to do

@JoelESalas I've had relationships like that. If women are anything like gay men it's a lie and you're going to be punished.

@voretaq7 it's been close to a year of this policy, so far so good

@Cole Kill her.

(seriously. When they start blowing up my phone I ignore their asses)

@voretaq7 it's so frustrating

I know I'm going to get a text that's like "you hate me" now

@Cole There's only one answer to that

@voretaq7 hah hah, gay guy said asses

Why can't I just be gay...nevermind, gay men are worse.

"I didn't until I got that ridiculous text. But I sure as fuck do now."

@voretaq7 LOL

I may just say that

Also if someone said to you "I want to be left alone" would you continue to text them about stupid shit?

Personally my approach would be to indulge a bit, be super nice for like 10 mins

if super-nice for 10 mins doesn't improve the situation, tell her you tried niceness and she's being unreasonable.

then suggest it might be her woman-hormones.

they love that shit.

lol

@voretaq7 My wife does that "Are you mad at me?", only response is "I didn't think so, but now that you bring it up, maybe I am"

@ChrisS LOL i'll have to use that one.

Like is it normal to want to karate chop your S.O. in the throat?

Sometimes?

@ChrisS "Do you still like me?" "Hmm, let me sleep on that..."

@Cole yes.

@Cole If it happens frequently enough that I'm aware of it I consider it a good sign that the relationship needs to end

@Cole I don't think so, no. But I'm generally not violent like that.

but I'm an angry Italian man - when I get to the point where I WANT to grab someone by the throat and lift them off the ground it's a very short jump to my actually doing it.

@voretaq7 yeah I have very little patience.

(...and that's how come the fratboy and I broke up)

I mean, shit - my therapist told me I'm an asshole.

She was like "Well Cole......you're kind of an asshole."

eff.org/deeplinks/2013/05/…

Yes, yes I am.

Ok I'm literally going to throw my phone out the window.

@ChrisS It's Vermont - who cares what they do?

I forgot Vermont is part of New England

I've never been there

Alright going to the chiropractor - I'll bbiab

@voretaq7 Preemption and President Law - so EVERYONE

Google Drive you so crazy

@ChrisS yeah yeah yeah - how much money does the state have?

(hint: Not as much as the insurance lobby out of CT.)

@cole What did I tell you about dating younger women? Nothing but trouble.

@ChrisS I disagree with a lot of their ideas

for starters 5 years is INCREDIBLY short when you consider the amount of work that would go into a truly novel and innovative piece of patentable software

I agree with most - but like many "radical" thinkers they tend to go overboard without considering the ramifications in depth.

and 6 is bogus

@voretaq7 Er, patentable software seems to be pretty darn easy... Mostly you just have to write the patent application so confusingly that they can't figure out what your patent is for.

If the patent is a "tiny" part that is critical to the product damn right the patent holder should be able to sue for a good chunk of the profits

@ChrisS That doesn't make it patentable, it makes the patent process fundamentally broken

(which it is)

@voretaq7 Right, similarly if it's the Indexing function for the Help files, then it shouldn't be worth anything..... Though I get what they're going after.

@ChrisS eh - that depends

OS X help would be worth fuck-all without the indexing/search function

@voretaq7 Changing US patent law wholesale ain't going to happen....

@ChrisS Sure it will. Right after the great revolution in which we burn DC to the ground (with the politicians still in it)

which is about the only way any of this fucked up government is getting changed so can we just hurry along with it?

@voretaq7 If they didn't use your Indexing function, they'd use something else... Search would still be available.

@ChrisS but if they did use my indexing function (because the other ones are all terrible) and it's what makes their help system usable I should be allowed to collect proportionate royalties, plus damages for the infringement.

(of course I shouldn't be able to collect ALL the money they ever made.

@voretaq7 I think it also depends on if they knew it was your function.

But the point is 1. It's darn hard to assess what portion of the overall product's selling price is supported by a single patent. 2. It's pretty much limited to the profit from the product 3. It'd be near impossible to write a law that accurately described the problem and a solution.

@ChrisS well that gets into whether or not "innocent" infringement should be differentiated from "willful" infringement (which it damn well should be and the law provides for that)

Also, what if you made a product that used two patents and could fairly say that the product wouldn't sell a single copy without one or the other. Both sue. Since all the profits are due to one and the other, do both have claim to the profits, do they have to share?

@ChrisS The point is that lawsuits are supposed to be decided by the common sense of a judge (or jury), but our idiot legislators write laws that prevent the application fo common sense.

@voretaq7 Now you're just being un-American. You should be clamoring for every penny they've ever made and all the money their children and grand-children will ever make.

@Adrian you can clamor for whatever you want - but the judge should be allowed to hit you with the gavel if your claims are insane :P

@voretaq7 Judges aren't all that sensible in my experience. And jury are last vestiges of non-sense in our legal system; worse than legislators.

@ChrisS Most judges I know are sensible

@voretaq7 Of course. But it's kinda ridiculous considering that horse left the stable 40 years ago.

Juries.... well that's just going to go into our defunct educational system and the ignorance of the great unwashed masses

@voretaq7 Well I wish you knew more then.

there was a lawsuit awhile back... I forget the details, but it was over a simple function or algorithm, the judge that was trying the case has a background in programming and mathematics. He threw the case out because the piece of code was so simple and obvious that he said he himself could, and had, written something similar in an afternoon.

@ChrisS I'm on good terms with our two village court judges, and "smile-and-wave" acquainted with one state supreme court justice

I wish I knew more judges too

I really wish I could remember the details, Oracle might of been the plaintiff on that one. It was pretty funny

@MattBear ...so you're saying we should replace our judges with Developers?

I still can't believe Google got the ruling that APIs are uncopyrightable.

I mean I guess they can't do much worse

@ChrisS I kinda can

@voretaq7 If by Developers you mean people with common sense educations instead of "how to manipulate the legal system into doing what you want" educations, then yes.

@voretaq7 im saying that in order to judge a case, you should have at least a basic understanding of what the case is about

@MattBear Blasphemy! We like the people making decision to be as ignorant as possible!

@ChrisS DAMN RIGH! And you can't get more ignorant than Congress.

well maybe you can but that much stupid would be regulated as a weapon of mass destruction

I propose that any lawsuit regarding software be handled by the kind mods at serverfault and stackoverflow, depending on the software in question

@MattBear . . . sorry, the US Constitution forbids the kind of cruel and unusual punishment we'd administer as sentences.

"For the next year you may only use this Gopher Slate to access the internet"

and be allowed to hand out the death penalty for ignorance, greed, and attempts to manipulate the legal system for personal profit

"For excess use of meaningless buzzwords, Lawers 1-7 will have their tongues cut out and castrated, 8-11 will be executed for gross stupidity, and the rest will be forced to use OS/2 for the rest of their lives."