I would also have conversations with each child individually, to ask him how things are going, and ask him whether sometimes kids were mean, and whether he had seen other kids being bullied. Make sure they were comfortable, and promising absolute secrecy.
@DavidWallace Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And that it should happen even more.
The school mentioned in this article is the one that my son is probably going to end up going to. I don't believe they have such a problem any more. But this is so recent.
An inveterate tangle of a problem is much harder to untangle than a fresh, clean cohort of bullies who don't know their new environment and against whom the new school is watchful.
@DavidWallace You can suspend them indefinitely, or repeatedly, if there is no other option.
Oh, and I had completely forgotten until I re-read that article. The same boy once set fire to my hair with a cigarette lighter. That probably comes in at number 3, moving the hockey-stick incident to 4.
But is he really dealt with? 6 years from now, he will certainly be in prison. But until then, how many more victims will he have, in whatever school he ends up in?
If the new school was warned, and the teachers + principal is watchful, much of the damage can be prevented.
It can't be perfect.
There will always be some bullying.
But it should not go on for too long.
A month or two of bullying is probably bearable for most kids—but much longer?
My heart breaks when I hear of kids who are bullied for years and years.
I'm trying to make two points: 1. there are many things you can try that may reduce the damage; and 2. more attention and effort should be directed towards the problem.
Although there has probably been lots of progress over the past decades.
In my first year of high school, some bullies took my schoolbag, filled it with dirt, and threw it around the place, jumped on it, and so on. All the textbooks in it were quite ruined. I was in huge trouble with the teachers when I returned the textbooks at the end of the year.
I remember once in primary school there was this kid who was bullying me, and an older class mate stepped up and hit the bully. That was great. This bully wasn't even too bad, I was not really afraid of him, but still.
@DavidWallace Oh, yes, that. So did you tell the teachers that this bully had soiled them?
@DavidWallace It was probably rare. I remember one time, in high school, there was this very fat girl. She was obviously insecure. She wasn't in my class, but we has class together occasionally. I barely knew her. One day I saw this other girl go to her table, insult her, and throw her pens on the ground, which fat girl quietly picked up. She could have been shaking or crying, I don't remember.
Yes, but I think lots of people have experiences like that. Then they think about them, and decide what they will do next time they're in that kind of situation. What sort of person you are is reflected in your behaviour the second time you encounter any such situation, not the first.
No but, except that I don't know what happens elsewhere.
Of course I only ever attended the ehm safest schools, and taught kids from such schools, so I have never had the opportunity to be around the worst kind of bullying that one sometimes hears of.
@Cerberus Well, you can have a free education at a government-run school, or a very expensive education at a church-run school. Common sense dictates which one is the better choice (assuming you can afford the latter).
This church-run school was close to the centre of the city. But there is a government-run school in every suburb. We were in one of the outermost suburbs of Wellington. So they knew what the local school was like, I think. They had no idea about the church-run school. But they did send my sister there one year before me, so I guess they thought it helped her.
Get an expensive school and it's full of rich kids. Who are more likely to be kids with well-educated parents. And you get more bullying than in a free school. I don't know why.
I don't know how many Muslim schools we have; the large majority of Muslims live in the larger cities, so I would expect only a few big cities to have Muslim schools.
Our government provides complete funding for one school at each level in each area. So there's always a public school you can go to. Other schools are entirely run by private organisations, which includes churches, and also things like organisations offering Montessori education.
I see no point in paying for a private education. I am happy with the public schools here.
There are lots of different churches here that run schools. So at a minimum, you can choose a Catholic education, or an Anglican education, or a Presbyterian education. I am not really aware of any schools run by organisations of other religions, although I have a nagging feeling that there is a Hindu school somewhere.
No, I'm wrong. I think I'm getting confused with the Wellington Hindi Language School. Which is absolutely not the same thing.
Umm, there are almost no Muslims in the Wellington area. A tiny handful of Somalians, maybe. Auckland is probably different. Those two Muslim schools are both in Auckland.
This morning, I went to the only Halal butchery in the lower half of the North Island. It's about 30 minutes' drive from my home. But it's impossible to buy Halal meat anywhere else.
If there were more Muslims here, some things would be easier for those who DO live here.
It usually means extremist here. I guess it has to do with taking all sorts of religious precepts and such much more strictly and more literally than the large majority does.
To me, the word "fundamentalist", relating to any religion, just means one who believes that the scriptures of that religion are the word of God. I can't imagine what a non-fundamentalist Muslim would be, given that The Qur'an is so central to our beliefs.
I mean, in terms of Christianity, I understand what the word "fundamentalist" means. Many Christians don't take the Bible too seriously, given that it was written by a whole load of different men. Particularly the first 16 chapters of Genesis; which describe the creation, the flood, and other very early events, which nobody really knows about.
So a fundamentalist Christian is one who believes the entire Bible literally. I have met such people. Right down to the earth being created in 7 days, 6000 years ago.
But when it comes to the Qur'an, every Muslim believes that it is the infallible word of God. Whereas we may not all interpret it the same way, we all believe that it's completely true.
I don't really see how there can be degrees of Islamicness, except insofaras it's a difficult religion to learn, and someone like me (who am a recent convert to Islam) can't be expected to know all of it right away; so I won't do everything as correctly as someone who has been a Muslim their whole life.
Well, certain Christians would say the same about their Christianity.
They feel that certain people who call themselves Christians are not in fact that, because they don't believe or do what the first group believes to be a requirement for being Christian.
There are many, many different interpretations of some parts of the Qur'an. And Muslims of different denominations have different collections of "Hadiths", which are additional bits of "guidance for living". But umm, one must still accept that the Qur'an is the literal truth, regardless of which set of Hadiths one adopts.
@Cerberus Maybe. I think "Christian" is a really loose term anyway.
I think it means someone who believes that Jesus is either God, or is the son of God.
I'm not so sure. I only know of one definition. A Muslim is someone who has said to another person, a certain string of Arabic words. Roughly translated - "I bear witness that there is no God but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger and slave of Allah". If you have not said these words to another person, you are not a Muslim.
Of course, there's nothing to stop somebody saying these words and not believing them, I suppose.
I'm not sure that they would. I think Muslims accept this definition. I can't imagine any Muslim telling me that I am not a Muslim, because I fail to meet some other requirement. I AM a Muslim, because I have said those words out loud to another person, and believe them wholeheartedly.
I guess there's a question over how one would stop being a Muslim, if one wished to.
@DavidWallace I'm quite sure that some people would say "x is not a Muslim, because he does not abide by the rules a, b, and c, which are to me essential".
Contrary to what the name suggests, an uppercut doesn't count as a raise. You only try to raise your fist, but your helpful opponent stops you by using his jaw.
A little better, a little worse. I had not much sleepies last night and I found out from a teacher yesterday that I forgot one eensy tiny detail when I launched the site.
I found this unsourced reference. Which made me wonder if it is correct or not?
Could this be considered an "auto-antonym" like ravel and unravel?
We see the popular websites in Chinese:
Yahoo! -> 雅虎
Google -> 谷歌
Facebook -> 脸书
And,
Stack Exchange -> ?
I would suggest 栈局 if there's not yet.
English Language & Usage: Multi-Layer…
English Language & Usage: Multi-Layer…