« first day (1575 days earlier)   
00:00 - 13:0013:00 - 15:00

1:00 PM
Still, they themselves translate it as "We are not going to have a house."
 
Maybe it's some kind of programming error. I dunno.
Only eight more lessons to go in the whole program. I wonder what I'll do after that.
 
holiday in Mexico
 
Yeah, the "white-knuckle" holiday. Is today the day I am going to be kidnapped and held for ransom?
 
No soy turístico! Soy Mexicano.
A colleague of mine said he spent two years in Mexico and the only time he got robbed was when a friend visited and they went to the touristy parts
 
1:06 PM
@MattE.Эллен * No soy un turista. You could probably also say No estoy un turista.
 
ha! I guess I'm saying I'm not a tourist attraction :D
 
Bollocks!
 
What about them?
 
@MattE.Эллен Well, how would you know if you've never tried? You might have a knack for it.
 
That's not relevant to anything. It just needs to be said sometimes.
 
1:09 PM
Put a sign out in front of your flat advertising "See the world-famous Matt Ellen! Two shows daily!"
 
I could install a lift
 
A coin-operated lift. No sense giving it away.
 
charge 50p a viewing.
I'll be raking it in
 
You could quit your job after a few weeks, most likely.
 
1:10 PM
Still, there will be difficulties. Like the old lady who says, "What, you're not going to dance then?"
 
I wonder if I could sell that online. "Watch me eat breakfast"
@Robusto "dances are extra wink"
 
"For 50p I thought you'd be dancing like Fred Astaire."
And then she'd give you a swipe with her handbag.
 
I'll learn to be good at ducking
 
And she would have a recorded voice of @Mitch saying "Bollocks!"
 
actually I wonder if I could sell that online. there is a market for people eating food on youtube
 
1:13 PM
But here's the thing. You could pull it off if you can bribe some tour-bus companies to bring the tourists around to your flat. Give them like 25% of the action.
 
@Robusto oh! good idea. not many of the tours come this far out of the city
eventually I'd be able to move closer to the centre
 
"You've seen the old Oxford. Now see what's happening today!"
I'll write you some jokes. Like you could hold the door for people and say "I'm the door Matt." And when you welcome them you could introduce yourself as the "Welcome Matt." I've got more.
 
lol. I'd be worried about getting groupies. they can be a bit scary
 
"I'm having too much sex," said nobody ever.
 
and when they're leaving I can say "and that's a Matt finish"
 
1:17 PM
rimshot
Wait, I miscounted. I still have 11 lessons to go.
 
no time for slacking off then ;)
 
@Robusto You don't want the un : No soy turista. Otherwise, you are suggesting that while you're not one tourist, you might be two.
 
@terdon Occupational hazard.
@terdon Would it be soy or estoy then?
I mean, soy if you were a professional tourist, say.
 
@Robusto It's soy but I can't really tell you why.
 
A better question might be, "Would you pay 50p to see @MattE.Эллен eating breakfast in his flat?"
 
1:21 PM
In general, what you are is soy unless it is short term thing slike estoy feliz.
 
@Robusto 1) What would he be eating and 2) what would he be wearing?
I'd pay 50p if he shared. I'm hungry.
 
@terdon You'll have to ask him. I don't produce his act.
 
@Robusto You're just the agent yeah?
 
I just write some jokes for him.
6 mins ago, by Robusto
I'll write you some jokes. Like you could hold the door for people and say "I'm the door Matt." And when you welcome them you could introduce yourself as the "Welcome Matt." I've got more.
 
1:22 PM
In the summer I am naked. In the winter I wear pyjamas and a dressing gown. Spring and autumn are anyone's guess.
 
A dressing gown? Who the hell are you, Noel Coward?
 
Arthur Dent, perhaps :D
 
I'd pay a whole pound if he puts his clothes on.
 
Still, if you did offer two shows daily, you'd have to work out something besides breakfast.
 
1:25 PM
second breakfast?
 
I wonder if you have enough material.
 
I might run out of cereal, that's true
 
@MattE.Эллен That might induce people to think you were a hobbit. Not a bad thing, necessarily, but you'd need to be prepared for people wondering why you're so tall.
Wait! That's it! Bill yourself as "Matt Ellen, the Tallest Hobbit in the World!"
 
perhaps I could offer "watch me watch netflix"
@Robusto lol. Instant hit. I'll be asked to go on tour
 
You could name your price.
And you could talk about how you would have been in The Lord of the Rings but Peter Jackson thought you were too tall. Instant emotional resonance!
 
1:29 PM
He just doesn't understand my people. We were caricatured!
 
Treated worse than the Munchkins in The Wizard of Oz! Hobbit slavery! Forced to work for second breakfasts!
 
we had to eat at the kiddies table
 
Discrimination!
 
Jez
yo you two, what did you think of my story idea? ever read something like it?
 
I posted a reply. See above.
 
Jez
1:30 PM
it's weird that i get a dream i feel like turning into a full story
 
Well, don't talk about it, write it.
If you talk about it you'll just dispel the energy you have for writing.
 
yeah! first draft. 50,000 words by the 5th April. go!
 
but the royaltees! I'll never get away with it :D
 
@Robusto Spanish uses the zero article more than we do.
 
1:50 PM
@tchrist Kind of the way the Brits say "in hospital" instead of "in the hospital"?
@MattE.Эллен That brings up a good point. We need tee shirts. Royaltee shirts, in fact. "My brother saw Matt Ellen, The Tallest Hobbit In The World, and all I got was this lousy tee shirt"
 
and eau de toilette. "Scent of the hobbit"
 
@tchrist Also less: Me gusta la música moderna where we would just say "I like modern music" (no article).
 
@Robusto Not quite. There are just a lot more places where they don't use it.
 
@MattE.Эллен Something for the ladies, yes.
 
keyrings and bumper stickers
 
1:54 PM
@Robusto True enough.
 
@MattE.Эллен Plush toys for the kids.
Kaching!
 
I'll be rolling in it!
 
@MattE.Эллен Eventually you'll have to raise your prices. 50p just won't cut it, especially if you're giving 25% to the tour operators.
 
maybe I could put up adverts
eat a certain type of cereal
 
> * 2015-03-02: Modernized close vote and close flag aging logic. Aging votes and flags starts after 14 days, regardless of view count. Allowed re-casting votes and flags that've aged away after 14 days.
@AndrewLeach RC just wanted to draw more upvotes to his own answer on this question. :)
 
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