@tchrist - I hope this is not too public a place to offer my condolences. I looked for an email address on your profile (you did have one once, I thought).
Again, I am so sorry. Losing one's parent isn't easy at any age, and under almost any circumstance. May you remember the good in your father's life and yours together as you spread his ashes.
In sudore vultus tui vesceris pane, donec revertaris in terram de qua sumptus es: quia pulvis es et in pulverem reverteris.