So I decided to write a letter, put all I wanted to say in there. I sent her the latter. Now for myself I did everything I could, and for my own sake I will have to get into the mood of "It's her loss". If she wants to talk, I will be there. But I won't skip new avenues that might open up from now on. I am still thinking which answer to accept, since both seem to be going into the right direction. — schaedelkeks 1 min ago