Scohe's answer is spot-on, but splitting hairs at some point IMHO. Of course not every comment is going to be worded perfectly, as if it was in a PhD dissertation. No matter how strict comment policies are, explanations for downvotes shouldn't be removed, except in the most argumentative or offensive cases; and for what it's worth, I read your comment as more of "I'm downvoting because we're not qualified to answer such questions." — M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ 27 secs ago

By the way, Medical Sciences, Biology, and Chemistry (where I come from) have a close reason that reads roughly like "we cannot address personal safety advice / health advice". I also found this meta post, which seems inconclusive. Might be worth reviving the discussion again. — M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ 12 secs ago

Hi Nofel, I edited out the "how not to feel bad" part as that's really an intrapersonal issue (dealing with your own feelings, rather than interactions with others). I'm still not entirely sure what the situation is though, and it'd be great if you could clarify the mismatch with the title - is your goal to avoid or confront? In what settings do people say things like this to you, what is your relationship to them? Also, if you think there might be a cultural component, consider adding a tag for that too. — Em C ♦ 12 secs ago

I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because computercarguy is right. While we do have some expertise with interpersonal skills. We're just a bunch of strangers on the internet who are unfortunately nowhere near well equipped enough to help you help your wife with her depression. In addition, questions asking for help convincing someone to do something are not a good fit here — Rainbacon 36 secs ago

Your last example makes clear they actually see positive sides in live - themselves. Negative is only what others do. So these people are arrogant. Perhaps you want to edit your title. — puck 1 min ago

Thank you so much, Jan. — KidACrimson 1 min ago

Speaking as one who has been in the OP's situation, this is exactly what I did. Kids never did happen, as it turned out her depression was part of a larger medical issue that contraindicated kids. — Ed Grimm 1 min ago

Personally, while I agree that a wrong answer could be very problematic, I feel having no answer is also very problematic. As it happens, so far, the question has two answers. While I'm not a psychologist, and I don't have an eating disorder (at least, not of the mental health variety), I used to be in several mental health support groups and knew a number of people who were struggling with this, and the two answers we have seem to me to fit the gist of the therapy they talked about going through. So it seems this space is one where we've found appropriate answers. — Ed Grimm 2 mins ago

I understand what you say, but to me this is slightly nit-picky. I did say why the answer is lacking and they can act on that. Not everything has to be spoon-fed. I also flagged it. Also, I had no idea a comment had to be written a certain way to be appropriate. From memory, I just remember a pop up asking us to leave a comment to explain why we downvote an answer. — MlleMei 1 min ago

As a final note, I think silently removing content because of subtle nuance is quite discouraging for people wanting to contribute to this site, even more so for newcomers who don't know all the rules yet. — MlleMei 14 secs ago

Like I said to scohe001, saying "I have this issue with your answer" is enough, they know why it's (for me) not a good answer and they can adjust their answer from this if they wish. I don't need to tell them explicitly that they can change their answer. Also, I'm not a moderaror, I'd feel uncomfortable telling someone to either delete or even change their answer, I don't feel that's my place. I don't see how it is not a constructive comment to say "Your answers lacks a stronger back up for this sensitive issue". — MlleMei 42 secs ago

Also, maybe you should revise the policy to discourage the explanation of downvotes. I've seen some answers been severely downvoted and the user asking why, baffled by this response. Just like the silent deleting of content, it is quite discouraging to put thought into something and want to help, get a negative reaction to it, and have no idea why. I can tell you that if this was my first experience on this site, I wouldn't have felt welcome and would have thought twice about posting something here in the future (even more so when I didn't have such an experience on other stack exchanges). — MlleMei 1 min ago

@MlleMei My answer to baldPrussian might interest you — Ælis 47 secs ago

@baldPrussian People on the internet are going to try to help these strangers with anorexia no matter what. Having no idea on how to do it without makong things worse is (IMO) very dangerous. Whatever happen, anoreixic people will interact with other, regular, people. If those "regular" people have no idea how to act toward them, then that is very dangerous. — Ælis 1 min ago

@Ælis I agree with your efforts to help this person better and to search advice on that, I'm just questioning if here is the place to find those answers. — MlleMei 8 secs ago

It doesn't seem to be saying what's allowed, rather, what definitely wouldn't get deleted @MlleMei. I agree that your comment probably shouldn't have been deleted, but it's even more pointless to wonder if it's worth undeleting. — M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ 54 secs ago

@MlleMei Maybe we should discuse that on meta? — Ælis 46 secs ago

Since this is a sensitive issue, I think the experience stated here (Psychology 101) is a bit light to provide a good answer. Do you have anymore experience with this kind of issue ? — MlleMei 50 secs ago

@MlleMei When you phrase things the way you did in your comment, it seems a bit confrontational and people are less likely to edit than if you phrase things with a "could you" or a "I suggest". I think it's something important to keep in mind if we want to improve the quality of the answers we get. — Ælis 1 min ago

@MlleMei I wrote the answer that sparked interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/2499/1599 (the one scohe linked you too). That answer, as of today, has had a 100 flags and 92! deleted comments. Most of those were just people saying 'I downvoted because I disagree with your answer/it's wrong' and 'I disagree with the disagreeing person'. I understand that you meant well with writing your comment, and I would encourage you to keep trying, and ask for feedback on meta or our chatroom if you still find your comments deleted. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago

Catija wrote a good answer on how to rephrase comments so that comments asking for clarification are actually asking, and comments suggesting improvements are clear at pointing out the actual improvement that should be made. Writing comments like that won't leave the person on the other side wondering if you're suggesting an improvement to their answer or just picking a comment fight because you disagree with their answer and have deemed it unsalvageable (in which case, see the link in the previous comment for your options). — Tinkeringbell ♦ 56 secs ago

That's all o.k. till someone spills something on 'my' sofa. 'I' bought it so 'I' could keep it when uni's over. Now look at it... — Tim 21 secs ago

I'm guessing the guys who want to splash more money would really not be happy with second-hand stuff. Their mindset generally isn't geared towards anything that's not brand new. — Tim 27 secs ago

How to not be a father, i am sorry for you.. — hopsinat 1 min ago

Excellent answer. There's just one more thing that I think should be considered: You may break up perhaps even in the near future - be it because of this or other reasons. (Obviously this is likely to put some stress on your relationship!) I think the last thing you want to happen is that she moves out to live with you, the two of you break up and she's forced to move back to her parents! — Thomas 1 min ago

@EmC the reason it is not a intra and inter is the "people" i talk about are my people I interact with daily and it is based on relationship. I will go through the question again as the answer to it is great. — Nofel 51 secs ago

This is a great advice, and is on similar note of the previous answer. I am just accepting the other one because it keeps the distance instead of the physical interaction. If I still lived with my mother, I would surely do this. Thank you. — Moacir 1 min ago

@Tim when I've had roommates, we understood that if we damaged someone else's property we had to make it right. — Monica Cellio 1 min ago

Hi Hylle! I know it's been a while, but you may be aware that our site policy changed since you posted this answer. Could you please edit it to provide the personal experience (or the articles) that would back up what you're suggesting OP to try? In other words, what similar situation you have faced (and in which you used that technique), and how did it go? — avazula ♦ 1 min ago

hey @atypicalguy! if you ever want to try a digital friendship sort of thing say hi! :) — essay 1 min ago

Hi Steve! I know it's been a while since you posted that answer but our site policy changed since then. Could you please edit our answer to explain what reaction could OP hope for with this strategy? Also, could you tell us in which context you tried this or something similar? Providing personal experience as an answer backup makes it easier for OP to know that what you're suggesting should work. Thanks! — avazula ♦ 16 secs ago

@MlleMei I think you're touching on an extremely prominent issue with how we come off to newcomers (and one with no good meta conversations either!). However, I don't think this case is quite as "nit-picky" as you say. You explained "why [you think] the answer is lacking," yes, but we've found (through a whole lot of arguments) that the default response from most posters will be to argue back, not act constructively on it. I'd suggest reading through this thread for more on how constructive comments should look and why we do this. — scohe001 just now

Hi Eridanis and welcome to IPS! Op already stated in the question: "What I really wanted to say was that I didn't want to share their stuff without paying for it, and I didn't want to pay for something that expensive.". Could you expand your answer to take this into account? — Imus 1 min ago

@MlleMei also note that the popup you remember reads "Please consider adding a comment if you think this post can be improved." This answer says about all I could about that (but in essence, this is also asking for a clear, suggestion that can be acted on). — scohe001 12 secs ago

@Nofel, sorry for the confusion, I meant just the question "How to not feel bad?" was intrapersonal. I do agree the rest is interpersonal, and thanks for editing :) One other thing, how have you tried responding to these questions? (That way answers won't suggest you do something you already know won't work.) — Em C ♦ 2 mins ago

@KidACrimson, this isn't just a "it's their problem" kind of thing (they rarely are), it's a problem that you need to face as a couple. If one blames the other for something, it's either because they can't see their own role in the situation or it's such a one sided situation that there really is only one person to blame. When it comes to depression and it's cousins, there is no one to blame, no one is at fault, and no one person can "fix" the situation on their own. Good luck and I hope you figure things out! — computercarguy 49 secs ago

I would go with this, as anytime I've had roommates we've never shared the cost of property. We normally brought some in like TV, couch etc... If one roommate wanted a new bigger TV they would buy it and we could all use it. — AbraCadaver 1 min ago

Could you add what the background is for this advice? IPS requires some backup for answers, whether that's personal experience or external references. — Em C ♦ 1 min ago

How long has it been going on for? If it's just a week or month it may well calm down. — Smock 1 min ago

turmeric in yoghurts, what the actual ****? (sorry for commenting this, but this just blew my mind) — Smock 37 secs ago

I'd be chuffed that someone this busy was taking 20 seconds out of their day to chat to me -even if short — Smock just now

Did you say anything to him to indicate that you weren't interested in being his "wingmen" other than that you were in relationships? Sometimes just saying that you are in a relationship isn't enough, although you would think it would be obvious. — DaveG 16 secs ago

@DaveG To answer your question no, however, he wasn't so much looking for a wingman as he was trying to be a wingman for us. As I mentioned in the question, he approached a few women and either told them or insinuated that my friend and I were interested in them. — Rainbacon 1 min ago

@DaveG it is incredibly easy to ask a poorly formed short question that requires a yuge amount of information to be delivered. The asker is not blameless. — YetAnotherRandomUser 30 secs ago

I'm thinking that "oh my friends over there like you" is just an excuse to approach the women, which might be why he ignored your "we're not interested". — DaveG 1 min ago

Hi Superman! I allowed myself to edit your question. If I got you right and that this is indeed what you would like to be answered, please let me know, and we'll let the community reopen it :) — avazula ♦ 22 secs ago

@avazula Hi azavula, yes that’s what I want! I want to see if I can still mend my friendship based on that particular situation. — Superman 9 secs ago

Thanks for the extra info, @Superman! I've edited your question to try to better describe your problem and fit the site. Feel free to edit it further (or revert) if you disagree with any of it. — scohe001 1 min ago

I just edited it to make it clearer. — Superman 14 secs ago

Have you suggested any ways that you might be able to give your mother more attention, rather than just reiterating that you can't give her as much attention as she wants? — Upper_Case 12 secs ago

Are you absolutely sure he's not doing this intentionally? It's ridiculous but I often say sheeps because I think it sounds better and tooths, because of a joke I heard years ago. I also like saying stuffs, even though as a non-countable noun, it doesn't have a plural. — Johns-305 34 secs ago