I am a female student. My landlord somehow decided to do renovation in the middle of the pandemic, he asked out to move out in 2 months. I found a student girl on the internet who is interested in renting a two-bedroom apartment.
In our first in-person meeting she said that she would have visitor...
@lila Yeah, that's true. I saw one on a TV commercial just before mentioning it here, and thought that it might have a nice placebo effect at least ;) But if you're already researching them that much before buying, that probably won't happen :P
hello. I've hit a brick wall when I got confronted to some communities on reddit and twitter. Many of them nurture anger and hatred towad the out-group. I don't know what to do or say, it makes sad af, I would like to make an ips question but I'm unsure what is my goal.
Well, for some that could be pretty interesting if not for the hatred. I'd still say no, because it seems so rooted I can't expect having my fun without having to deal with the unfunny part.
Where/why do you meet these communities? Is there a reason you're 'confronted with them', even though you have no wish to be part of them? (I know Twitter allows blocking hashtags and users, I assume Reddit allows for some way of moderation as well)
@ArthurHv In that case, I'm afraid it's going to be very, very hard to turn it into an IPS question. There's just so many variables when you encounter a random internet stranger....
@Tinkeringbell Well I'm sad to confront the reality where everyone believes the other is, presumably, not a sensible trust-worthy person when the maths show we are usually the other way around. Most can be trust except a minority of people on a given situation.
@M.A.R. Some of these groups are massive. Millions of users on reddit e.g. and I'm quite anxious when I see the the group identity is founded on anger
@ArthurHv Yeah, I understand. It is the reality though, especially on the internet .. no one knows you're a dog, so no one knows how much to trust a random internet stranger. And if you add in the in/out group logic, it gets even worse.
@ArthurHv An example would help. Are you referring to how, for example, political subreddits are full of people who celebrate lack of compassion and hatred towards people with opposing beliefs, always considering them to be either hypocritical or stupid?
If so, yeah, it's something that requires a social change, and I'm afraid it's only getting worse and what one person does or says is very unlikely to make any change.
@ArthurHv Heh. Religion is indeed a prime example of having an in/out group and hate/anger. I'm not sure anyone but a God can solve that though. Don't wear yourself out worrying about it.
The thoughts it's just terrorism 2.0 being in construction is slightly frightening. But the overwhelming feeling is the sadness. I felt like I opened a door where thousands of people were screaming their suffering, and I just have no other choice than close it and go away. That's the overall feeling. Ofc, that could be also be "me being a snowflake/privileged" or some other bs they feed themselves with.
Oh. One last thing: Even if someone opens the door from the other side... know you can always slam it shut too. There's no reason to let them open the door just to treat you like shit ;)
@Tinkeringbell Eh, on Reddit it's often 13 y/o who think they look pretty cool when they say "I'm an atheist" or "religion sucks".
Bigots are limited to one or two hellish subreddits, so I don't think Arthur was referring to that.
And it's okay until the atheists commit the same mistakes they accuse religious people of making. They also rage against the outsiders, they also prefer to shut down discussions with different insults hurled at the other side, and they clearly do care what other people believe in.
So I think what Arthur is saying is, you almost can't find likeminded people on the internet anymore unless they're vitriolic and hateful of some other side.
It can't all have been Russian bots. Something did change.
@M.A.R. I'm not sure if anything changed much more than 'we now have internet'.
@M.A.R. There are plenty, I have some good groups to be part of. I also have tricked myself into believing other groups were like that, only to find out they weren't.
@M.A.R. And you honestly think I'm gullible enough to fall for that?
I've learned my lessons. Take your time travel device, find a nice time period (I suggest one in the future, since the past might not be kind to your kidneys) and live your life.
@Tinkeringbell Sorry, but I cannot muster folks that cannot prove quantum entanglement with the first two laws of thermodynamics, a pebble and a saxophone
Seriously though, why is it so hard to find traditionally good friendship qualities in people.
@M.A.R. Hah. It is what makes this place tolerable for me: The people here are mostly smarter than me. They can use logic and reason, instead of just shouting 'Well, feelings!'.
@M.A.R. Because traditions are there to be broken with, they change.
Worst teacher I had was when I was a bit older, like 9/10: She thought everyone should be friends, so she took some time to find mortal enemies then paired them up for the rest of the school year. If you stood up for yourself instead of letting yourself be forced into submission, she'd complain to your parents.
Also expected students to do her job: Pair the smart kids with the dumb ones, and then expect them to teach the dumb ones the things they couldn't do (like simple substraction/addition without a calculator). You'd be in the middle of one such thing and be disturbed by your 'neighbor' to explain to them that 2+2 really is 4 and not 5.
@Tinkeringbell Ugh. As a kid, and up to, say, 15, I always assumed when a teacher did something obviously bad it's part of their training and I shouldn't judge them for it.
@Tinkeringbell My parents still think there's something wrong with my little brother (Asian parents, you know how they can be) because of this arsehole teacher several years ago
Me too, I should end February on a productive note
@M.A.R. I never had problem finding friendship values. You need time and empathic people, nothing more. I found myself have an uncanny talent at coming across and recognizing quickly people with narcissist traits tho
Both times, friend of friends, one of them laughed when someone pushed me from the back, everybody denies, I just take him as an example and give him a solid slap on the face, he strikes back. I'm not a good fighter but I'm never afraid of getting hurt
Later time I learned he stole the girlfriend of the friend in questsion
@ArthurHv Huh, I might be biased because I'm probably narcissistic myself, but I dunno if it's really a bad quality to have. Only when it's undeserved. And incidentally, I think narcissistic people who really don't have anything to show for all the bravado are all the less empathetic
I kinda hate the entomology class for that. It really makes me paranoid
> Unprincipled narcissist Deficient conscience; unscrupulous, amoral, disloyal, fraudulent, deceptive, arrogant, exploitive; a con artist and charlatan; dominating, contemptuous, vindictive.
Should we really make our personal marketing when we are interacting socially with strangers or family?
Talk about ourself awards, seems to be arrogant to me, and sounds like boasting.
To me, it's haughty. But for this reason, some underestimate me frequently, until I beat their tests.
Should I t...