The Awkward Silence

FreezePhoenix

00:28

o/

Extroverted Main Man

02:18

0

Q: How To Let Things Go

Recently I've begun to think I have asperger's syndrome due to a combination of listening to other people tell me what's wrong with my social interactions (monotone no facial expressions) as well as taking an online diagnostic test, AQ 42 out of 50. However due to my lack of understanding of pr...

AGirlHasNoName

03:41

@Ælis It was pretty good. I was surprised with how heavy it was for a kids movie. A lot of subtext around imperialism.

Extroverted Main Man

05:27

0

Q: How do I persuade my parent to let me choose my own career?

I'm Asian, and it's typical in our culture for parents to decide their children's career (as well as their religion, who they can or cannot date or marry, what they can and cannot wear etc. but that's another topic). There's a particular career I'm interested in but my parent is dead set against ...

conflicts boundaries parents

avazula

06:39

It's a beautiful day to be in TAS chatroom! In TAS chatroom. In TAS chatroom! 🎶

dhein

07:45

Hello everyone :)

CaldeiraG

Morning :) and noon for AJ :p

Tinkeringbell

08:15

Monday morning! :)

dhein

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/23575/32 Could anyone help me moderating the comments? I flagged almost all of them and left a comment about not answering in comments. But that's all I could have done in the scope of my privileges ^^

avazula

@dhein poof. Gone

JAD

08:36

@dhein at some point you might as well just put a mod flag on the question/answer the thread is under :)

it's more effective, but doesn't look as cool in your flag history ;)

dhein

@JAD You mean flagging the OP as for moderator attention and mentioning the comments? Hmmm fair point. I think I will start doing that the moment I have the Marshal badge :P For now that was a found feast ^^

@avazula thank you :)

JAD

@dhein exactly :)

Belle

09:00

Morning :)

Ælis

09:52

@Belle Morning :) Let's all have a cat! @chump*

chumpbot

Ælis

Oh, that's a cute little one :D

CaldeiraG

Should I persuade people to accept my answers? I have 2 question that are answered (and the OP is high-rep) but not accepted :\

persuade or leave a comment xD

persuade is just fancy

@chumpbot aw :)

avazula

@scohe001 FR: Please let me answer "nope" to tp comments xD

(I get how it could be confusing though :( )

CaldeiraG

10:08

nope to true positive seems a bit counterintuitive x)

A J

@chumpbot duck!

CaldeiraG

I always be intrigued why the bot can't flag on their own

isn't flagging awarded at 15 rep?

or it's just not meant to and it's hardcoded with that?

A J

JAD

automatic flagging isn't something that should be done lightly

it can be done (like with SmokeDetector for example), but they put a loooot of effort in human oversight and mechanisms to stop it when it goes rampant

avazula

@AJ wth I thought chump posted that duck xD

JAD

10:19

quack

Introverted Meta Man

10:33

0

Q: Should question with "too many" answers be remove from HNQ?

I'm talking about questions like this one who is attracting a lot of answers (23 so far with 8 of them being deleted). We already added a "controversial post" notice after this meta question was asked. However, to me, this was and isn't enough. I believe that any question attracting a "flood" o...

discussion hot-network-questions

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to politely decline meetings on weekends?

We have team projects at school and unfortunately my team wants to meet on weekends saying they have no time during the week. I have no problem in doing my part of the work during the week, but I usually have other plans for the weekend. How can I politely decline, while assuring them that I am s...

coworkers college meetings

Ælis

11:18

@AJ I don't think we are understanding each other, but I'll leave it at that ^^

A J

hmm?

Ælis

Here. Basically, you answer something that wasn't my question, but I don't know how to clarify/express myself better

Belle

11:47

There was a jay in my garden a few days ago. I couldn't snap a picture, though, so here's a random one from the internet

Alex Robinson

12:38

@chumpbot wrongo

i like flag worthy

Belle

Why is it monday again? I need another weekend!

Alex Robinson

i honestly kinda like mondays

JAD

it's the tuesdays that get ya

A J

There is a difference of six days between Monday to Sunday, but only one from Sunday to Monday. That should be changed. :P

Alex Robinson

we should be having a 4 day work week: monday, tuesday, thursday, friday

Extroverted Main Man

12:43

0

Q: How to help trans community shop

I'm a new store manager for a clothing store & I have been receiving new customers that are transitioning. I want to give them the best, supportive environment I can. I want them to feel safe, welcome, confident and excited when they leave. I'm looking for tips on how to do that. What not to sa...

conversations relationships shopping

A J

@AlexRobinson Well, after Tuesday, the week goes like Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. ;)

Alex Robinson

:o

also as a sidenote, this question has potential but OP would probably need to edit it to be a bit more on topic - its very broad rn

Tinkeringbell

@dhein here's your reminder to do that thing ;)

@AlexRobinson Yeah, that's a bit broad... It might help if there's an 'actual problem' (an unsatisfied customer?)

Alex Robinson

its also like

not quite insensitive or anything malicious, but it does kinda bug me that its kinda generalising trans people.

CaldeiraG

Microsoft Japan made a 4 day work week true, the problem here is they don't show how many overtime did they do or not?

Alex Robinson

12:51

like, the same advice for an mtf won't be the same for an ftm, and within those groups there are a huge range of experiences people have had which will affect the advice greatly

JAD

@CaldeiraG if you go from 5 days to 4 days, and keep the same hours, that's a big bump in overtime ;)

avazula

@AlexRobinson It's incredibly broad anyway and can't be answered as is

CaldeiraG

@JAD Work in Japan is pretty hard

Thinking of working in Japan? It's good to know what you're in for

A J

I heard you give first priority to work rather than your family there.

Tinkeringbell

@AlexRobinson That sounds like a comment then, perhaps they work the 'female' department only for example... then it would narrow down the part of the trans community they work with?

Alex Robinson

12:55

man this question

i want to like it, its someone trying to be helpful and inclusive and it has all the vibes of a good question, but in execution it falls flat and it really sucks

Tinkeringbell

@AlexRobinson Best thing you can do is offer advice then on how it won't.... I'm not much help there so I could really use you right now, I guess ;)

JAD

> This is especially true if you’re from a culture that prefers to “tell it like it is.”

CaldeiraG

3 hours ago, by CaldeiraG

Should I persuade people to accept my answers? I have 2 question that are answered (and the OP is high-rep) but not accepted :\

JAD

ok nevermind

CaldeiraG

if anyone wants to give an opinion :)

Tinkeringbell

12:57

@JAD ?

JAD

@CaldeiraG I always find it looks out of place and pushy tbh

A J

@CaldeiraG Nope.

JAD

4 mins ago, by CaldeiraG

Thinking of working in Japan? It's good to know what you're in for

CaldeiraG

:(

A J

you can ask once, but don't persuade them.

CaldeiraG

12:58

Well i didn't do anything

Alex Robinson

i swear i just saw that news article somewhere else...

CaldeiraG

it's just sitting there

2

A: Upgrading a desktop with 32G server RAM fails

Both packs of RAM (M393B1K70CHD-YH9, KVR1333D3D4R9SK2) you bought are Registered DIMM's which are mostly used on servers. Your motherboard manual clearly specifies the supported technologies which does not include ECC/Registered memory.

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Oh, yeah... I heard about that before.

A J

Did they tell you your answer has worked?

CaldeiraG

@AJ I answered why the upgrade doesn't work as it's their question

Alex Robinson

12:59

the answer can't "work" its a negative

CaldeiraG

If it was a new user, I would leave a comment since they probably don't know how to accept an answer but being users already active on SE I think it's a bit disrespectful

Belle

@CaldeiraG I personally think a friendly reminder is okay. Eg: "Hi OP, it's been a while, did any of the answers help you with your issue?" I sometimes want to try out answers before I accept the one that helped most, or just reflect on them for a few days, but then I end up forgetting to accept.

A J

As I said, you can try reminding them, but try not to persuade them.

CaldeiraG

@Belle Looks good to me, thanks!

:D

oh wow, so much cuteness

Belle

<3

My kitty has learned "jumping". Now everything is a jumping target. The higher the better. And landings are with claws out. Targets include humans.

CaldeiraG

13:06

xD

22

Q: Got $2 in the mail from the Pew Research Center, is this a scam?

Today my wife and I got a letter from the Pew Research center enclosed with a $2 bill. The survey has a link to the website: pewresearchstudy.com with a password, asking the youngest female in the household to take a survey. I'm a little speculative on the legitimacy of this survey and why they w...

scams

Wow, $2 bills? I wanna check that out lol

Belle

I have a $1 coin! :D

A J

CaldeiraG

0.91EUR (100 escudos) bill

Belle

@AJ I'm supposed to be working here, not giggling loudly in the office xD

CaldeiraG

@Belle lol X)

A J

13:09

@Belle lol

Alex Robinson

i'm on lunch break so everything is fine :)

A J

I am supposed to working but I am chatting here.

Tinkeringbell

@Alex > (also, someone just pointed out in chat that it might make a difference if you're dealing with female to male or male to female transgender people, so if the store only has a ladies or gentleman's department, that might be useful to know)

Can I write that down like that?

(or anyone else who knows more about these things than I do)

Alex Robinson

that sounds largely good to me. If this question is still floating around later i might write something of an answer because i actually feel knowledgable enough lol @Tinkeringbell

Tinkeringbell

@AlexRobinson Ehhh, if it's edited, sure do. Otherwise... don't answer questions you believe should be closed, it only confuses the roomba and might make it impossible for them to be cleaned up automatically if never improved.

Alex Robinson

13:16

thats what i meant by floating around, my bad ^^

Aelis posted a comment that i kinda wanted to cover in my answer lol. assuming someone is trans is a bit of a yikes

Ælis

@AlexRobinson Yeah, and the same goes for assuming someone isn't

Alex Robinson

that is something i try to stress around my friends at the moment. people make an awful lot of assumptions about gender and sexuality and it really does get to me sometimes

Ælis

Yeah, I hate it when well-meaning sellers try to redirect me to the female part of the store. I know what I'm doing, thank you very much!

Tinkeringbell

"There's no hoodies there, I already checked". :P

Alex Robinson

i don't buy clothes that often, but when people assume that i'm cishet it really gets on my nerves.

Ælis

13:27

I hate buying clothes because I feel pressure to act like I am a neurotypical woman. I'm none of those things, go away with your social pressure!

Tinkeringbell

I usually buy stuff online, I'm lazy :P

I also don't hate the crowding and loud music of some shops.

Alex Robinson

same! buying online is fantastic

Ælis

I do like the idea of buying stuff online but, when it comes to clothes, I would rather try them on first

Alex Robinson

thats completely fair

Belle

I always get frustrated by the unnecessary gendering of clothes, or whatever item for that matter. And having to stick to one. I love dresses and I love hoodies and I hate having to pick dresses from the women's department and hoodies from the men's.

avazula

13:37

@Ælis I found out the other day that there's a grocery store in France (in Montpellier I believe?) that has established 2 hours of neuroatypical-friendly shopping per week: music off, no beeps when you're checking out, gentle lights, no radio announcements ...

sounds lovely

aaand the most important thing: little frequentation at that time :D

Ælis

@Belle The nice thing about non-binary is that you don't have to stick to one :p

@avazula That sounds indeed like the dream. This Sunday I was in a big mall with my sister and the second I step a foot inside, I wanted to go out because of the noise. However, the articles I read about stores doing that all point out that it's during work hours (like 9am to 10am). So, that's not really convenient when you have a job :/

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis Wait... so is non-binary both, or neither? I thought it was neither? While the way you say this, it sounds more like 'both' :/

(if it's a stupid question, nevermind, I'll Google ;) )

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell It depends on the people ^^

Alex Robinson

its never a stupid question to ask in a respectful way!

it isn't really common knowledge and i'm a strong believer that educating others about these sorts of things is important

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis Oh... There goes the easy answer... :P

Alex Robinson

13:45

gender is messy and complicated, a lot of the time there isn't really a simple answer i'm afraid

Tinkeringbell

Hey! That's a thing I already knew ;)

Alex Robinson

heck transmeds btw

Ælis

Some non-binary people are gender-fluid, so they go from male to female to male to neutral to female to... Some are agender (like me) and the whole concept doesn't make sens to them, so you can't see I'm "both" or "neither", I just "don't understand the question" :p

Tinkeringbell

Okay, that last part is slowly frying my brain... I think I can understand it logically: If there's no concept of gender, you can't be 'both binary genders' and you also can't be 'neither of those two'?

Alex Robinson

gender is just that, a concept

AGirlHasNoName

13:49

Think of it like the number 0 and the number 1

there are infinite floating point numbers in between

there is also null or NaN

Alex Robinson

i really like that answer

i may have to steal that ;)

AGirlHasNoName

@AlexRobinson Don't worry, I stole it from someone else

Tinkeringbell

@AGirlHasNoName But... both null or NaN fall under 'neither 0, 1 or anything in between' for me ;) So now I'm still not an inch from where my mind started ;)

@AlexRobinson Sorry, didn't mean to say it wasn't...

AGirlHasNoName

@Tinkeringbell ohh I was using Null or NaN to mean the same thing (Agender) I just wasn't sure which described it better.

Tinkeringbell

@AGirlHasNoName To be honest, NaN can be a string, null can't.

Alex Robinson

13:52

i didn't mean to be rude or any offence from that

Tinkeringbell

No worries :)

Alex Robinson

^^

AGirlHasNoName

@Tinkeringbell I understand that. ><

JAD

@Tinkeringbell let's not bring underwear into it

Tinkeringbell

@JAD XD Okay, NaN can be ... an object of class Person? That doesn't sound much better :P

Ælis

13:53

@Tinkeringbell Gender is frying my brain so... welcome to the club? :p

Alex Robinson

well i'm here for atleast another 5 mins whilst i let my macro run... so how are people lol

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis Mmmmm, fried brains. There's an idea for dinner ;)

@AlexRobinson Okay for now. Mom is sick with the flu, I'm afraid I might catch it too :/

Work is kinda slow...

AGirlHasNoName

@Tinkeringbell =[

Belle

@Ælis I relate to that so much. As a teen, when I first met a trans person, I wondered how one could feel like a different gender. I didn't understand at all, because I didn't understand how one could feel like a gender. I still don't quite understand, because I cannot understand the concept of gender beyond society's expectations, but I accept that some people aren't happy with their label - I'm not either.

Alex Robinson

heck, we've had a few people in our area come down with it too and i believe we're due for a stupidly cold winter

Ælis

13:55

@Tinkeringbell Do you know the TV show "IZombie"? I always love to see the brain cooking, it looks so yumi *-*

Alex Robinson

labels are good for a 2 second explanation and finding people who are similar, but thats about it

AGirlHasNoName

@Belle I bet there are identities that you do feel a connection to. Like for me, I am a redhead, and a chef, and a parent. These are all things that label me but I feel connected to.

Alex Robinson

my macro finished and nearly crashed excel again which would've wasted another 5 mins lol

Belle

@AGirlHasNoName Good point, I do :) (I don't think label covers the thing I wanted to say well enough, though)

AGirlHasNoName

@Belle I still understand what you were saying. That other people were connecting to something that you weren't and it is hard to see why.

Belle

14:02

@AGirlHasNoName That sums it up :)

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis Nope, don't know that one, sorry!

Belle

@Tinkeringbell It's on Netflix in Netherlands, it's worth a watch if you're into comic book tv shows

Tinkeringbell

Hmm. Not that much, to be honest.

Rainbacon

14:40

This answer could use some backup, but I need to wake up a bit more before I'm ready to leave comments asking for that.

Ælis

@Rainbacon Done :)

Rainbacon

Thanks @Ælis!

Ælis

My manager just dropped the words "annual review" and "soon". I'm kind of terrified ^^ I never done one of those before and I don't want him to say not nice things that he wouldn't normally say. I wish those kinds of things could be done in writing and not in face to face

Alex Robinson

a weekly task that i'd previously automated has just become manual again because the data format has changed and i have to send an email to a load of people and just ugh

Rainbacon

@Ælis Reviews are not fun

Ælis

14:53

@Rainbacon Please, don't tell me that ^^'

AGirlHasNoName

@Ælis Do reviews in writing would be SOOOO much better. I wish I could have done that when I was giving them too.

Ælis

@AlexRobinson The question as been edited: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/23582/21067 I didn't vote to reopen yet because it's lacking a clear question, but it just need a small edit and I think it could be reopened soon :)

Tinkeringbell

Mine go both in writing and in person... I like in person a bit better than in writing actually, because not everyone is great at writing feedback, and when talking it's easier to have a person understand what is being said and to respond to that.

@Ælis Oh, that looks like an awesome edit! :)

Though I wonder how 'correct' it is to still refer to someone as male when they're shopping for bra's, essentially... but that's probably something an answer could address? :/

AGirlHasNoName

@Tinkeringbell That's fair. I have had plenty of bosses that don't communicate well in written form. I can only imagine the shitshow it would be for them

Ælis

@AGirlHasNoName Thankfully, my manager will send me the template of the meeting, so I will know a bit better what I'm going into. Also, it will be two meetings and not one (like I thought), so double stress! \o ><

AGirlHasNoName

14:59

@Ælis ooph. Good news and Bad...

@Tinkeringbell There are plenty of reasons someone identifying as a man might shop for a bra.

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell Same to everything you've said here. I get a written review composed of self feedback and feedback from my team members. I have a pretty good relationship with the person who gives me the in person feedback, so that goes pretty well. The part I dislike most about it is having to write my self review.

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell Well, having a bra doesn't equal female pronouns so, if you don't know the other person pronouns, using male or female seem fine to me

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis @AGirlHasNoName And that's why I asked before editing :P

Thanks for clarifying!

@Rainbacon Yeah, I have to write one too... I usually keep it short and sweet though ;) 'I think I did X better than last year, but I still need to work on Y' usually suffices :)

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell Thanks for carring and thanks for asking :)

avazula

@Ælis mmh... I don't know how exact it is to refer to someone as male or female as it seems to be very private information (like, how do you know whether someone's male?). Unless I got you wrong? What do you think?

AGirlHasNoName

15:06

male-presenting?

avazula

@AGirlHasNoName That does sound better to me ... I'm cis though, maybe I'm overthinking this. Which is why I asked :)

Alex Robinson

@Ælis @Tinkeringbell i'm gonna edit it to clarify a few things. one i'm gonna change male pronouns to gender neutral. It looks like the person mentioned is a transwoman but it isn't actually clear. second, i'm gonna edit to distinguish where possible between biological sex, gender, and what gender they appear to be presenting

Tinkeringbell

Go for it!

Just don't name the edit 'made it more inclusive', put what you said here in it :P

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell I wish I could do that. My company has a ~30 item rubric that I have to evaluate myself against. I also get 3 specific development points that I have to work on and evaluate myself against.

avazula

I thought one shouldn't assume that kind of things but I'm nothing but an ally at best so, I'd like not to assume things I'm not that knowledgeable about

Tinkeringbell

15:09

@Rainbacon O.o. I had to make a list of objectives for this year... 'getting better at Magik' was good enough :)

Alex Robinson

@Tinkeringbell when have i ever done that and sparked a meta question ;)

Ælis

@avazula Well, if you don't know what is the other person gender, I do believe it's better to refer to them in a neutral way. However, OP might have additional information that we don't (like the other person using a gender pronoun to refer to themself) so that's why I don't see an issue with letting them use male here

Alex Robinson

the question is better, i really do wanna answer it later when i can put some proper thought into it

Tinkeringbell

@AlexRobinson Oh, that was you? :P

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell Oh, I don't get to make my objectives. They are given to me as a result of my previous review

AGirlHasNoName

15:10

@Tinkeringbell Wasnt it me?

Tinkeringbell

@AGirlHasNoName Waaaah, to many trans people in here! :P

Can't keep up, sorry ;)

Alex Robinson

interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/3852/… :)

AGirlHasNoName

You shouldnt have made this a safe space for us then

><

ohh mine was different

Tinkeringbell

'safe' :) Everything is relative and I can't guarantee anything ;)

JAD

Is being locked in a safe a safe space? ;)

Rainbacon

15:12

@Tinkeringbell You can kick anyone who makes it unsafe

Alex Robinson

about this shopping question: would it be ok to let OP know via comment that some of the assumptions they've made are incorrect. they are misgendering the person and its kinda upsetting to see

AGirlHasNoName

@Tinkeringbell comfortable for the time being...

Alex Robinson

like the question can be edited, but not their comments

Ælis

@Alex I improved your edit, but I'm not sure I'm using the right English word, would you mind checking?

AGirlHasNoName

well they might be misgendering. We don't know.

Tinkeringbell

15:14

@Rainbacon I can kick anyone who's rude, that's true. But I've always said that the site is here for people of all kinds of cultures and backgrounds. That includes the ones that aren't as 'accepting' of e.g. LGBTQ, and they might have questions on how to deal with things that aren't really 'correct' :/

So I won't ever guarantee this space is really 'safe'.

Alex Robinson

@AGirlHasNoName admittedly yes. but it seems they are biologically male and looking for "typical female" clothing

dhein

@Tinkeringbell Thank you, I am just doing that thing now....

rpg.meta.stackexchange.com/q/8864/15211 :D

Ælis

@AlexRobinson It might be a male that likes to do dress and do drag-queen. So we don't know for sure if they are missgendering or not

dhein

Should I also post it as comment to that Meta?

Belle

@AlexRobinson They may be, they may not be. Case in point, this question: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/6162/…

Alex Robinson

15:15

@Ælis yeah thats valid @Belle

Tinkeringbell

@dhein Sure, or perhaps a new question about closing questions that get many opinion based/ deeper issue type answers.

Alex Robinson

@Ælis i think "presenting" would be better, though "looking" is good!

though along a similar vein, does the title need changing? it kinda assumes male when that isn't known to be the case

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell I guess it depends on how you define 'safe'. I suppose that I might have a looser definition of it than others.

dhein

@Tinkeringbell I couldn't really phrase such a post myself, as I lack the underlying understanding of that Problem fully. So its hard to ask for a solution to a problem you don't fully get >.< Or at least the effort I had to put in would exceed the time I have available right now.

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon It might also be what I've seen referred to as 'safe space' being mostly a space where you're never challenged. Where you can go and not have to 'defend' yourself against something....

@dhein Ah. Well, I might try and get in touch with one of the RPG mods, and see if I can write something up then :)

Alex Robinson

15:18

@Tinkeringbell safe space != echo chamber

Tinkeringbell

No worries :)

@AlexRobinson I know, but it's mostly used to mean echo chamber here... or one of those rooms with crayons and puppies :/

gotta run and catch the bus.

o/

scohe001

@avazula hmm "nope" might be confusing. I could do "pewpew" tho :p

Alex Robinson

thats a bit of a yikes

cya! hope you catch it!

AGirlHasNoName

For me, a safe space is where the position of the majority of the people around me is known, and not antagonistic. Because I have been in spaces that suddenly turned 100% hostile towards people like me and that becomes exceedingly scary. Because of that I don't assume a space is safe unless I have an indication that it is.

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell Yeah, what I would consider safe is definitely different than that. But that makes sense to me given that I'm not often a target for harassment

Ælis

15:21

@AlexRobinson I just edited, thanks for noticing (everyone always forget to edit the title :p )

Belle

There's a difference between challenging someone's believes and attacking their identity or attacking them because of their identity.

AGirlHasNoName

I don't have to worry that if the topic of LGBTQ+ comes up that the majority of the people in the space will be hostile.

avazula

@scohe001 omg yes

dhein

@JAD Well its even without being locked into it a safe sapce, but being locked into it makes it not less of a safespace I'd say :P

avazula

@Ælis well, because they might not be male biologically speaking? Idk, I'm probably overthinking this.

Alex Robinson

15:22

it depends very much on what you're challenging @Belle

Rainbacon

@Belle Agreed, in my mind "safe space" means that you won't get attacked for your identity, but that respectful challenges to one's beliefs could still occur. But, I can certainly see how someone who is often attacked for their identity might still feel unsafe in a place where things they've been attacked for are being discussed.

Ælis

@avazula I'm not sure I understand ^^ Being male biologically speaking has nothing to do with this. Sure, using neutral is better when you don't know. But my point is, OP might know and we are the ones who don't.

dhein

@Tinkeringbell But just because someone is not sharing your views, makes that person not conclusive unsafe, or does it? So as I see it, thats already quite something, or isn't it? ^^

avazula

@Ælis mmh. That's not how I read their post but okay :)

AGirlHasNoName

This edit frenzy is going to send this to HNQ isn't it...

Alex Robinson

15:26

pls no

why is it getting updoots when on hold

dhein

@Tinkeringbell Ah, that definition of the word. I know it from southpark. Hm well... I asume here it was meant in the more literal sense :P

AGirlHasNoName

because it is clearer now

Belle

@avazula I get @Ælis's point. I think there's a high likelihood that OP got the shopper's gender wrong, but we don't know, all we have is OP's word.

Alex Robinson

i was about to type out something then realised we all need to stop making assumptions until we get some solid clarification here

myself included

Rainbacon

@AGirlHasNoName Maybe, but it will have to get a few good answers first

Ælis

15:28

@AGirlHasNoName We can always kick it out of HNQ if it's really needed

AGirlHasNoName

I think thats the point. There is no clarification. The persons gender is unclear. Being male presenting doesn't make them male. Being male-presenting and shopping for bras doesn't make them trans. And the shop keeper can't tell.

2

dhein

Kick it like Beckham :D

avazula

@AGirlHasNoName ^ this

dhein

Should I delete my unnecesary comment so you point to the correct comment ava? :P

avazula

@dhein of course not :)

Rainbacon

15:31

Well, for the moment it is still closed so we can keep it that way until we get it into a good shape

JAD

@AGirlHasNoName I'm not sure if edits contribute to HNQ. I doubt it tbh

since loads of editing to a question points to it being problematic in some way.

avazula

@JAD Multiple edits sure add more views to the question though

JAD

hmm

dhein

@JAD AFAIK the formula only icnludes amount of answers, score of question and score of the answers.

Ælis

@AGirlHasNoName I completely agree, but let's not forget that the keeper might have talked with the person and might have a confirmation from them that they, indeed, use male pronouns

AGirlHasNoName

15:33

@JAD loads of edits mean heavy refinement

Alex Robinson

the further a question is in net votes from zero, the more views it gets

JAD

@AGirlHasNoName yep. The fact that that is needed should generally imply it's not HNQ ready, so it'd surprise me if the metric would contribute to getting into HNQ

dhein

@AlexRobinson Citation please? :D

Ælis

@AGirlHasNoName (it's unlikely IMO, but maybe the keeper did ask for this person pronouns after all)

JAD

at some negative score it drops of the front page, so not necessarily

maybe over time

Alex Robinson

15:34

certainly in Physice SE - my third home, questions on -1 to -5 get lots of views then closed, questions that go over about ~4 get way way more views than anything else

Belle

I think it's interesting how on IPS all the questions have answers. I wonder if that is because IPS questions are easier to answer or because people think that they're easier to answer than other network's questions.

Alex Robinson

people think they're easier to answer, but they really aren't

3

remember that person last week who posted a bad answer and had it deleted then spent a few hours trying to bother us into undeleting it?

Belle

I don't think I was in chat for that one. Sounds like a pain.

AGirlHasNoName

sounds like something that happens a lot

Alex Robinson

they just did not understand why their answer was bad

their aim was "get undeleted" not "make answer good and helpful"

Rainbacon

15:40

@AlexRobinson That's a common problem

The back it up rule really trips a lot of people up

Alex Robinson

welp, i gotta go soon on a courier task, feel free to ping me if the latest question gets off hold so i can start thinking of an answer :)

AGirlHasNoName

Hell, even I sometimes want to answer a question with a "Try This" from time to time and then I realize I am just guessing and have no idea if it would work.

dhein

@Belle I think it is, cause different from technical questions, where there is only a specific correct answer most of the time. Here even despite our strict policys, there can anything be a correct answer if it worked out for someone. So despite we expect some sort of back up, its easier to come up with a backup why something has worked for you in the past, than comming up with somethign scientific.

@AGirlHasNoName Same, I sometimes really want to add my 2 pens to something. But then when asking myself how to back that up, I realize I have no backup and it just being a opinion '^.^

avazula

@chumpbot pewpew

dhein

Id consider that one even rude...

avazula

15:44

:'(

Belle

@chumpbot Calling someone's religious activity nonsense seems rather insensitive to me...

scohe001

LOL if I remember at lunch when I'm back at home, I'll add it in for you @Ava :p

dhein

@scohe001 We will ensure you will remember muhahaha xP

avazula

@scohe001 yay <3

dhein

Ok, enough nonsense from me for today

I am calling it a day. Enjoy your evenings or nights or mornings or w/e :D

Belle

15:47

Goodnight @dhein

avazula

@dhein have a nice evening!

@chumpbot I SAID NO

Rainbacon

@scohe001 How about we make the bot a mod and then let the mods nuke comments from chat by responding to the bot with "pew pew"

@avazula Damn, you're on top of those today

avazula

@Rainbacon that would need to be able of handling the different reasons for deletion

Belle

I click on link, I want to flag comment, @ava has already deleted comment. Too fast for me!

avazula

@Rainbacon I don't condone bigotry, whichever belief it comes from.

Rainbacon

15:52

@Belle Yeah, every so often someone posts several deletable comments all at once and one of the mods goes on a deletion spree. I'm just sad I don't have any popcorn while I sit back and watch

avazula

I don't know if that's our policy that's too complicated/strict or if it's just that people are lazy

Rainbacon

I've definitely seen Ava and Tink do it, I'm pretty sure I've also seen EmC do it. I've never seen John do it, but they don't frequent chat

avazula

I lean towards the second option (please don't repeat that to the other mods :p)

Rainbacon

Hmm, the question about helping male presenting people shop for women's clothes still feels a bit too broad. "Is there something else I could have done, or shouldn't have done to make this experience better for them" sounds like a list question.

Em C

@Rainbacon pew pew pew

CaldeiraG

16:06

If anyone wants to see hidden up/downvotes, use this query :) I got 17 hidden upvotes on a answer :(

AGirlHasNoName

@Rainbacon "What is the appropriate way to approach this situation as a customer service representative?"

scohe001

@Rainbacon Hmm I believe the SE API has a way to flag comments...the issue is that I'm not sure the ChatX API has a way to tell whether or not a message was sent from a moderator...otherwise that'd actually be a fun project lol

Rainbacon

@AGirlHasNoName Ooh, I like that approach

@scohe001 Can you tell who it was that sent the message? If so just hard code who the mods are

scohe001

Oh I guess I could actually. Have some ModList (like our whitelist) of bot-modding chat user ID's

user58

@CaldeiraG *runs it* Apparently I've gotten... 65 anonymous upvotes on MSE.

CaldeiraG

16:10

@user58 Oh wow

Rainbacon

I've gotten 31 up and 5 down

Em C

@CaldeiraG 4 anonymous upvotes on my swag contest post :D

Rainbacon

4 of my 5 anonymous downvotes were on my question about explaining my autism

@avazula I left you a flag to go clean all that up :)

Belle

I've got 5 hidden upvotes and 5 hidden downvotes on one of my questions, 124 actual upvotes ad 2 actual downvotes. The users without downvote privilige hated it more than those with? xD

avazula

@Rainbacon There's no pending flags for comments :/

Rainbacon

16:20

Weird, I definitely submitted one, but I don't see it showing up there either. Let me see if it shows in my pending flags on my profile

It was marked "helpful" 3 minutes ago

Oh, I think the specific comment that I flagged got auto deleted :facepalm:

Em C

@Rainbacon lol yep, that's what happened

CaldeiraG

@EmC :D

Ælis

@Rainbacon I added another question as to one on the post didn't seem very clear to me

Em C

probably the "thank you!" at the end, if I had to guess

Rainbacon

Should I resubmit the flag on a comment that is unlikely to get auto deleted?

ugh, why are the character limits for mod flags on comments so small

Alex Robinson

16:30

edit 13 monkaS

user58

That's new.

Em C

@Rainbacon or on the post :)

oh, you already did hah

Rainbacon

@EmC I choose the post because of mod flag character limits on comments

Perhaps I should turn that meta post into a feature request

Alex Robinson

do it

Belle

It's open again!

Em C

16:34

another fun fact - custom post flags stick around even if the post is deleted, which can also be helpful sometimes

Belle

@AlexRobinson you requested notification is here

Rainbacon

@EmC That is a fun fact

Alex Robinson

@Belle heck yeah... not just to hold out two hours to get home and attempt to write a useful answer

El'endia Starman

@CaldeiraG +86/-16 on my Tetris-in-GoL answer on CodeGolf.SE. :)

I wonder how many new accounts that question is responsible for lol.

Rainbacon

@El'endiaStarman That sounds interesting. Link?

Alex Robinson

16:38

code golf is fun but im not very good or knowledgable at coding

El'endia Starman

Wow, a lot of anonymous up/down votes on C.SE.

1005

Q: Build a working game of Tetris in Conway's Game of Life

Here is a theoretical question - one that doesn't afford an easy answer in any case, not even the trivial one. In Conway's Game of Life, there exist constructs such as the metapixel which allow the Game of Life to simulate any other Game-of-Life rule system as well. In addition, it is known that...

code-challenge game cellular-automata game-of-life tetris

Wow, it's over 1000 total score!

Alex Robinson

holy hell that is a lot of answer

El'endia Starman

Yup!

Took a fair bit of coordination to post them all at about the same time in the right order.

Rainbacon

That's amazing. I'm going to have to give that a much more thorough read later

El'endia Starman

Thanks! ^_^

Alex Robinson

16:43

as a sidenote: if i actually post an answer tonight... i will have got 9 bronze badges before posting a Q / A lol

Rainbacon

Ok, I made a feature request

Alex Robinson

i updooted

El'endia Starman

What's updoot?

(Nothing much, what's up with you?)

Alex Robinson

upvote

if you'd posted that as one message i'd have starred lol

El'endia Starman

I was hoping someone would get the connection with "What's updog?" and respond similarly, and also worried that someone would take me seriously.

Alex Robinson

17:07

the answer to the shopping question is pretty good imo. +1 for "Don’t make an extra fuss about it" in particular

AGirlHasNoName

I think it could use fleshed out.

But it is on the right track

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to help an elderly paranoid parent?

My mother is elderly (pushing 80) but is generally is good shape, sound mind, is able to take care of herself and live on her own and so forth. She is able to drive except at night due to her eyesight. She also has a healthy dose of paranoia to avoid scams and other situations which the elderly...

parents mental-health

Alex Robinson

reminder that "chasers" exist and someone being overbearing is uncomfortable and could potentially make the customer think they are in danger. sometimes a simple answer is all thats needed

^new question might be a bit broad

AGirlHasNoName

17:22

@AlexRobinson I agree, I just think there are more details that can go into a good answer from a customer service perspective.

That's what I meant. I might try to add an answer if I can settle my thoughts into a clear and concise response.

Alex Robinson

i get that, i just believe that in this particular case, not much of an action really needs to be taken - OP wants to be inclusive and helpful which would otherwise be a lot of the question, they just don't necessarily know the best way to go about doing that

Rainbacon

While I was ordering lunch, a person who had previously ordered came in and interrupted me to ask the cashier to verify the order she'd received. The cashier ended up putting in my order wrong, so I didn't get the food I wanted.

AGirlHasNoName

ughh

Alex Robinson

@Rainbacon F

Ælis

@AlexRobinson Yeah, though I still think an additional answer is needed in case the other person do ask for help/advice (I might write an answer about that, but I'll wait to see if someone does it first so that I don't need to :p )

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