The Awkward Silence

12:11 AM

1

Q: Should the "comments are not for extended discussion" message be upgraded?

When I posted this question some of the members of the community suggested I should extract this particular point into another question so everyone could weigh in. In this network comments are handleded in a stricter way than in other Networks. This makes people confused, because they think they...

Em C

2:16 AM

@Rainbacon that was me sorry, in retrospect I think I should've kept the flag longer - at the time it was in the review queue so my thought process was basically "ok, comments cleaned up, reviewers can deal with the content now"

→ 78 messages moved to Trash

Em C

2:33 AM

anyways review said 2x delete, 3x looks fine.. I'd try just editing the answer myself but I'm not super confident that I understand how/what to change

Extroverted Main Man

5:48 AM

0

Q: How to deal with a person with weird outlook towards things

I got mingled with a certain person in office. He seemed a nice guy so we often have chit chat and he is the kind of person who always laughs or atleast chuckles, almost always. I will now refer to him as Mr Z. the company I was working with wasn't going well so I was looking for a better opport...

difficult-people

avazula

6:19 AM

Morning lovely people

→ 6 messages moved to Trash

ankii

Morning!!

I caught cold

dhein

Morning lovely person :D
And everyone else, too (the lovely and not lovely ones, to not be discriminating :P )

A J

Good Noon!

Ælis

@AJ But my name is Ælis now! :p

A J

:P

dhein

6:35 AM

@Ælis Hahahahaha, I just felt a need to make a joke along that lines, but was thinking "Nah, thats not ur name, not up to you to make that joke"... Thanks for intuitionally complying with my compulsions x'D

Ælis

Hehe, you're welcome :p

JAD

7:13 AM

good morning

Tinkeringbell

Morning!

CaldeiraG

7:34 AM

Morning

IPS Comment Bot

8:03 AM

Hi there. This gives ideas, opinions, and steps, unfortunaltely, none of which are more than just "try this" ou "you should do this" points. This doesn't really answer the OP. Please take a minute to read our citation expectations. Answers on IPS need to include some backup in the form of either personal experience or references - You might find How do I write a good answer? helpful too. — OldPadawan 1 min ago

#23320 OldPadawan (17499 rep) | A: How to deal with a person with weird outlook towards things (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by simplemind (119 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["chatty-no-doubt(@Noon)", "chatty"]

CaldeiraG

@IPSCommentBot fp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught incorrectly (fp). Currently marked 0tps/1fps

CaldeiraG

@IPSCommentBot chatty no doubt :P

IPS Comment Bot

@CaldeiraG That's what I've been saying for $(AGE_OF_BOT)!

4

dhein

8:22 AM

@CaldeiraG would have laughed if IPS bots' AI had identified that response as tp ^^

And even more so if it identified the sarcasm ^^

CaldeiraG

@dhein :) unfortunately anything longer than a word will not trigger the bot to tp/fp

@dhein that would be nice xD

Extroverted Main Man

9:56 AM

0

Q: how to shedule meetups effectively

I have an hard time scheduling meetups with friends lately. This has started since I have an day-job, and thus have less free time. Often, both parties are interested at meeting up, but the time it takes to actually schedule it can take so long that it starts to feel like a drag. Often, the c...

friends scheduling

CaldeiraG

11:11 AM

My question on SO that was closed on Aug 1 now it shows "closed 0 months ago" - what a improvement :D Meta post

Tinkeringbell

11:44 AM

That's what tests are for ;)

Rainbacon

@EmC I would just edit it myself, but I don't know how to keep the intent of the post. The content I find objectionable is that the author is basically frame challenging the OPs assertion that they have social impairments due to being autistic

@Tinkeringbell I had an engineer who was interviewing me tell me that they'd never written a test in their life. It was scary.

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Well... this current project I'm working on doesn't have that many automated tests either (the legacy application has none, the one that's being built to replace it has some, but not nearly enough.)

JAD

hmm, I was just shipped an item smaller than a euro coin in a 20x20x20 cm box :/

Tinkeringbell

At least it was well protected? :P

JAD

it was stuffed with paper, so I guess

Extroverted Main Man

12:01 PM

0

Q: How do I tell a 35 year old guy that I like him? I'm 16

I'm a 16-year-old girl and he's 35. He's unmarried and financially stable (doesn't mean in any way that I'm going to be dependent on him financially at any point of time in my life). We're living in different parts of the country but he visits my city (and his hometown) at least once a year. We'v...

india teenagers age dating

Rainbacon

@ExtrovertedMainMan Umm, we should watch this one closely. Seems like a potential target for bad answers/comments

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon I mean... there's probably information lacking on the point of 'what have you tried/considered trying/what's holding you back from just using your words' > Though the second paragraph says something about that, that's more primarily opinion based/general life advice....

Rainbacon

I'm not sure that would stop someone from posting (inappropriately) their opinion on relationships between older men and teenage women

Tinkeringbell

Eh, probably not... but then it'd be in a comment (if the question is closed now first) and easier to clean up ;)

If it's edited and open... yeah, needs eyes, lots of it.

Rainbacon

I suppose that's true. Perhaps I'll wander over and give it a closer read when I'm not on my phone

Tinkeringbell

12:14 PM

I'm generally much more fond of questions lately that ask about how to have a certain conversation about a broader topic, instead of asking how to say a single thing :|

I get a feeling the former is usually much more focused on the skill needed than the words said, anyone else get that feeling too sometimes?

Rainbacon

So you're saying you like questions that inspire great answers?

IPS Comment Bot

@AJ : that's what I thought :/ — OldPadawan 2 mins ago

Matched regex(es) ["short-comment"]

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Yeah...

Rainbacon

Ah, AJ has confirmed some legal boundaries that make the question unanswerable here

Extroverted Main Man

1:03 PM

0

Q: How to tell my alcoholic aunt I fear for my cousins' lives because of her drunk-driving?

Trigger warning: Alcoholism, physical and psychological violence. My cousin just called me in tears. Again. She shared her fears with me about her parents drinking too much, even when they have to drive. She wanted to know what she could do to prevent her parents from driving when they're drun...

family mental-health addiction

Rainbacon

@avazula I just saw your new question. That's an awful situation, and I'm sorry you have to go through that. I hope you'll get some good answers to help your aunt

avazula

@Rainbacon That's nice of you to sympathize, but the least lucky in this case are my cousins :(

the adult one told me she doesn't want to come home anymore and asked me if she could crash at my place when the holiday comes

OldPadawan

@avazula : sorry about that... as you may know from previous answers/comments, I've been teaching safety on the road for almost 3 decades. And I've had to deal with many many cases like that....

I won't event try and craft an answer :/ as I already know how this type of person behaves and answers.

TL;DR : no way they change their behaviour. Only possible outcome: stop drinking OR stop driving. Nothing inbetween :(((

avazula

heh :/

OldPadawan

I know how sad it is, trust me :/

I've even been taught by smarter and more experienced people than I am: they never ever got positive results :(

When I saw the Q I jumped here (and ya'll know how much I forget there's a chat :))

IPS Comment Bot

1:16 PM

Sounds like an intervention needs to happen. Is there a rehab facility or mental health center nearby (or near enough if not in your town)? They may be more equipped on staging an intervention and could give you the tools needed to do so more effectively. — Lux Claridge 1 min ago

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

OldPadawan

for sure, if it can help, the answer doesn't lie with the aunt, more probably with a lifehack of someone else

or (not "of")

Tinkeringbell

@OldPadawan Yeah. We have a notorious drunk driver in our neighborhood, the life hack was to just call the police when he left the pub and started driving home. They got him 50m from his home a few times...

OldPadawan

And I think I've heard almost every bad/wrong argument from people who drink-n-drive...

The only IPS involved here and that could lead to something good is get the aunt realize she's wrong and get her to rehab' or quit drinking AND driving. To start with...

avazula

@OldPadawan both my aunt and uncle are alcoholics and drive while drunk, I just can't talk to him because I hate him for the way he treats my aunt and cousins. But this you couldn't know :p

OldPadawan

@avazula : pretty obvious from your post :/ and you definately can't be blame

avazula

1:29 PM

I don't think they realize that because they aren't wasted does it mean that its not dangerous

Anyway, I don't want to monopolize the conversation with sad stories ;) how's everyone going today?

OldPadawan

What I know (from experience) and reading studies (2 or 3 decades ago), they don't (want to) realize...

JAD

@avazula working from home, sitting in the sun in the living room :)

OldPadawan

@avazula : well, actually, couldn't have been too bad... but I have a big problem with @Tinkeringbell .... I dunno what to do...

JAD

This morning it was really chilly inside, so the warmth from the sun is nice :D

avazula

@OldPadawan (after this I stop I promise) I've been considering sobriety for myself for a while now. All my adult relatives are alcoholics and I fear for myself after growing up surrounded by examples of unhealthy drinking patterns. Do you think there's any chance it could influence them and their own consumtion?

JAD

1:36 PM

temps jumped from 18 to 22 inside

avazula

@JAD yay! sounds lovely :) it's raining (again) here ...

OldPadawan

@avazula : no. no. :((((((

avazula

@OldPadawan o_o how's that?

@OldPadawan erh. bummer. I'll choose what to do for myself then ;)

OldPadawan

@avazula : yeah, I know... she seems so nice... so fair... Maybe I should just ignore her ?... na...

well, anyway.... it all started here : imgur.com/a/gJyV6c1

JAD

hmm, either that's a huge keyboard, or that's tiny as heck

Rainbacon

1:38 PM

@avazula I'm doing well, though I'm very suspicious of that fact that I got an email from Bing about it being my birthday

avazula

@Rainbacon it's your birthday today? :DD

OldPadawan

HOW is that possible that she did that AND I didn't receive a copy?!?! how's that ?! someone to tell me, please ????

Rainbacon

@avazula Yep!

avazula

@Rainbacon HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY RAINBACON!!

Tinkeringbell

@JAD twitter.com/Tinkeringbell91/status/1125046230982242304?s=20 < Size is there ;)

Rainbacon

1:39 PM

Thanks @Ava!

Tinkeringbell

@OldPadawan Mods aren't supposed to access PII so I had no way to send it ;)

avazula

@OldPadawan haha :)

JAD

@Tinkeringbell tiny it is

IPS Comment Bot

Feminist SJWs tend not to care about collateral damage. — voodoo-burger 10 mins ago

#23318 voodoo-burger (101 rep) | A: I was mistakenly identified as a criminal, and this has caused rumors. How can I convince my friends that it is all a mistake? (score: -6) | posted 9 hours ago by mckenzm (89 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 1/0

Reported with custom reason: hella rude

user58

@IPSCommentBot rude

IPS Comment Bot

1:40 PM

Registered as rude. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

OldPadawan

HAPPEE BIRTHDAE !!! (citation needed ? here: google.com/… )

Rainbacon

@avazula The only question is, how did Bing know?

Aww, thanks for the cake!

OldPadawan

@Tinkeringbell : use the Force :)

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Yeah, It is. Fun to make too :)

@OldPadawan Maybe if I decide to start making more than 1 ;)

JAD

@Rainbacon They read it from your birthday cookies?

OldPadawan

1:43 PM

@Tinkeringbell : should be your #1 priority from now on :D

(FWIW and even if noone cares ... :))) I've like some almost 30 different of Yoda "hidden" in my office :) from tiny tiny one on my screen... keyring. 3 on the couch. couple more on the desk... :)))

CU folks !

avazula

@IPSCommentBot huh?

IPS Comment Bot

Comment didn't match any regexes

scohe001

Oof I haven't added custom reports to huh yet (and I may not, since it'd be pretty difficult actually). See me in the closet for an explanation @Ava

ElizB

Good morning :)

Kinda bleh on motivation today. I gotta get myself cleaned up, get planning on my classes for tomorrow, and cook apple pie filling

Rainbacon

2:00 PM

@ElizB Mmmm, apple pie is delicious

ElizB

2:28 PM

@Rainbacon tedious to peel all the apples and get them prepared though

Rainbacon

2:50 PM

@ElizB Do you peel them by hand or do you have a machine? My wife and I create an assembly line. I peel them with the peeler, then hand them off to her to be sliced

El'endia Starman

Factorio flashbacks

Why am I at work? Whyyyy...

Belle

I just unclogged the drain in my shower. Smelled like a sewer :\

but my shower doesn't flood anymore, which is nice

JAD

@Belle tell you what, did you know the drain leads to the sewer? ;)

lol:

37

A: Do dead weight 'components' exist?

Power your board from a 12V 7AH Sealed Lead Acid Battery. Then hot melt glue your board to the side of the battery.

Rainbacon

3:06 PM

oops, I just majorly put my foot in my mouth at work

JAD

uh

First of all, congratulations on your agile feat

3

But I assume that it is a figure of speech

Rainbacon

ah, yes

It's means committing a major faux pas

An example to illustrate:

I was talking with some co-workers, and we were talking about when the office was smaller and we met a lot of people's significant others at events

I mentioned one particular coworker and how he and his wife always struck me as an odd couple

Specifically I said "you can kind of see it, but also you kind of wonder why they are together"

Turns out it was common knowledge for everyone but me that they are in the process of a divorce

And that is how you put your foot in your mouth

scohe001

@JAD this is some Grade A wordplay. Thank you good person.

JAD

@scohe001 hmm. Honest to god, no pun intended. But I like it

@Rainbacon It kinda proves your point though. If the office were smaller, maybe you would've been in the loop

Rainbacon

Well, I wasn't complaining necessarily about being out of the loop on things, just telling some newer coworkers about the "old days"

avazula

3:54 PM

@Rainbacon If that makes you feel a bit better, a couple of months ago I was reading one of my mom's cooking books during a family event. I asked her where did she get it from and my nearby aunt told me that she gifted it to her last Christmas. Literally five minutes of wandering through the recipes after that, I very seriously said "well. Those recipes are far from fancy" ("Ces recettes cassent pas trois pattes à un canard", en Français dans le texte).

It took me two minutes to realize I had offended my aunt with that comment

TIL this French expression could be translated into "it's nothing to write home about" or "it doesn't bring the house down"

IPS Comment Bot

4:13 PM

@Nick This answer doesn't have any downvotes... but even if it did, it's an unfortunate reality of SE that downvotes aren't always explained well. — Upper_Case 2 mins ago

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

Ælis

@avazula xD

Always Confused

Is it true that interviewers deduce marks if i do not make eye contact?

scohe001

@avazula Hmm I've heard the first often, but never the second

Always Confused

I m telling about any academic interview, not the executive jobs

Say for a teaching job or say a research position etc

scohe001

@AlwaysConfused probably depends on the interviewers and what kind of academic thing you're interviewing for.

CaldeiraG

4:21 PM

^^

Always Confused

okkk

Not always in interview but recently a teacher told me he gets bewildered while i ask him question because i do not look at him while i ask

CaldeiraG

@AlwaysConfused Related: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/41833/…

Always Confused

thnx

CaldeiraG

job interview in this case and a health problem but should give you some ideas :)

Always Confused

:)

scohe001

4:23 PM

Eye contact is an important part of western interactions. I could see it coming off as weird if someone refused to meet my eyes at all in every interaction I had with them

Always Confused

I have difficulty phrasing sentences if i cannot cut visual stimuli

or if i m not allowed to cut

Once upon a time i thought eye contact is a superstition :P

up to 2013 i believed eye contact is a superstitious cultural ritual not anything else

CaldeiraG

Eye contact shows confidence mainly

much more than that

mainly :p

<3

4:25 PM

I hate making eye contact.

CaldeiraG

@user58 Welcome to the club :)

Always Confused

Its only after clinicians discovered my untreatable anger is only autistic meltdowns.

I came to know there are lot of things

in interpersonal communication

CaldeiraG

I don't hate it though, eye contact is fine for me

Always Confused

which werte byond my imaginatiom

Rainbacon

@avazula Oh dear. Thanks for sharing in my embarrassment

Always Confused

4:29 PM

However i like if people tell me things from close distance. It works sort of similar to eye contact of typically developing people.

scohe001

@AlwaysConfused I mean I'd be fine with it. Especially if you explained that to me. Just without the explanation, I can understand some people finding it upsetting or difficult to communicate with.

Always Confused

I feel upsetting if people force me to look at eye while they tell

because i will miss much of what they speaks

its necessary to cut off any eye or facial stimuli to actually listen what they says.

And most people wont believe it

:D

scohe001

Sounds like most people are butts :p

Always Confused

Not ncessarily, most people are nice

but they also not so good at tricky things

i mean unfamiliar yet simpler conditions

With well known people, i would listen better in phone than face to face; because the phone filters the facial component. However with unknown or less known people i communicate with text message or email only, otherwise i'll have anxiety attack.

@scohe001 thnx

bye fr now

avazula

5:18 PM

@Rainbacon haha, you're welcome :p

Rainbacon

My coworkers got me tiny cupcakes, which is nice that they thought to do it, but now I'm hungry for more cupcakes because the tiny ones aren't very much

Tinkeringbell

But yay! Tiny cupcakes! :D Also: CONGRATULATIONS!

Rainbacon

5:34 PM

@Tinkeringbell That's an odd way to phrase it I think, but thank you!

Tinkeringbell

Hahaha is it? It sounds quite natural if I translate it to Dutch...

Rainbacon

I've never heard congratulations used for a birthday. It's more often used when someone has achieved something such as getting a job or having a baby

There's not much achievement in being born

Tinkeringbell

Ahhhh. Let me rephrase then ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D

Rainbacon

Thank you!

Tinkeringbell

(congratulations/gefeliciteerd is often used here for birthdays and achievements alike)

Rainbacon

5:38 PM

I understood your intent from the first message, but I'm weird about grammar :)

That's interesting to learn

I believe the common German phrase for birthdays is Herzlichen Glückwunsch, which also translates to congratulations

Perhaps the English language is just strange

user58

....I was about to say. In conclusion, English is weird.

2

Tinkeringbell

Even more interesting: If you enter someone's home for a birthday party, and the visitors are mostly family... it's not that uncommon to congratulate the host in person, and then say a general 'congratulations all' to the rest of the people in the room if there are many.

Rainbacon

That sounds strange to me, but it makes a lot of sense, especially for the person's parents who are the ones that actually did all the work to have them

Tinkeringbell

Yep!

There's a picking order of congratulating: Birthday person first, than spouse/SO, kids, parents, then the parents of the spouse/SO, then everyone else in random order but generally family still before friends ...

I'm going to pack some stuff, it's swimming pool time :)

Rainbacon

Swimming pool in October? Must be indoors?

AGirlHasNoName

5:45 PM

Have fun swimming

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon yes :)

Rainbacon

Have fun!

Ælis

6:20 PM

@Rainbacon Congratulations for staying alive so long! :p (I mean happy birthday, us, French people, don't congratulate on birthday)

AGirlHasNoName

6:30 PM

@Ælis ohh that makes me want to be French

@Rainbacon Happy Birthday!

IPS Comment Bot

7:19 PM

@QEDemonstrandum That is a terrible idea. If anyone should be held accountable for this it's the club owners - for making the false claim (defamation of character) and for sharing it with Anne. — J... 1 min ago

#23296 J... (101 rep) | Q: I was mistakenly identified as a criminal, and this has caused rumors. How can I convince my friends that it is all a mistake? (score: 108) | posted 47 hours ago by Scott Smith (371 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Scott Smith (371 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic(@Noon)", "experimental(@avazula)"]

Rainbacon

7:54 PM

Thanks @Ælis @AGirlHasNoName!

@IPSCommentBot I'm not sure if this is rude, but I don't think it belongs here

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

ankii

8:29 PM

so the misidentified criminal question is 34th most voted Q

Rainbacon

Yeah, HNQ will do that

scohe001

sniff HNQ is one helluva drug

Rainbacon

8:41 PM

Pretty sure my parents warned me about it as a kid

Extroverted Main Man

9:00 PM

0

Q: How to know how much money to give someone for a ride home?

With my work we sometimes travel to different locations. At the end of the day it's common for people to offer and ask for rides home. There was one person who lived relatively close to me. We never discussed pay but at the end of the ride I offered him money. I only gave him $5 which might have ...

money strangers

Extroverted Main Man

9:21 PM

0

Q: Easiest way to plan a vacation with friends?

I hope this is the right place for this question. I'm currently in the process of planning a small weekend vacation with 3 other people. Technically, it's me, my cousin, his friend, and my friend. We all have varying incomes with me being the most well off. I plan to pay for the bulk of most stu...

conversations friend-groups

Ælis

10:22 PM

@AGirlHasNoName Well, we still do say "happy birthday", even if I wish we wouldn't (as someone with depression, I don't find the celebration of me being born a real reason to celebrate)

Ælis

10:34 PM

Well, good luck with your new mod powers @Tink and @Journey. That's definitely sounds like hard responsibilities!

Extroverted Main Man

11:04 PM

-5

Q: Am i not nice for not lending my mom my truck?

bought her a 2009 pontiac vibe with toyota's famous for reliability 1.8 engine. She loved it! Now I just bought a truck, a 2009 ram, and now she wants it... wtf bruh! She keeps fighting me that she wants to drive it now and then. Today she wanted to take it and I said no cuz she swirls around in ...