Trash - 2019-10-26

6:12 AM

Hi @notmySOaccount. (not that <- I really don't like to say that -> that). Your raise and mention good points here, from your own experience. You also agree with one answer. Unfortunately, you don't actually answer the OP, in the way of offering a solution on your own. This really looks like a (big) comment, at the moment. Is there a way for you to edit and improve please? Thanks — OldPadawan 1 min ago

#23272 OldPadawan (17480 rep) | A: Asking to be made aware of a surprise because of anxiety issues (score: 0) | posted 8 hours ago by notmySOaccount (135 rep) | Toxicity 0.059651714 | tps/fps: 0/0

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Ælis

@IPSCommentBot fp

Marked this comment as caught incorrectly (fp). Currently marked 0tps/1fps

Ælis

@IPSCommentBot Also, this "(not that <- I really don't like to say that -> that)" was/is very confusing!

9:53 AM

@Ælis Ah, because you personally don't like an answer, it should be deleted? It is an answer, it might not be the one you want to hear or agree with. If you think it really breaks the rules, flag it. But I guess you are kind of aware that it does not, which is why you try to rally people here.

@RandolphCarter What's your problem? Nothing is going to change on IPS. The only reason you were allowed to delete so many posts was because most of them didn't meet the citation expectations anyways... Why do you feel the need to bring drama to this site? Why the need to snark like that in your 'answer' on meta? It does not answer the question, which is about editing practices...

@Tinkeringbell If I was deleting low-quality content in your eyes anyway, I understand the fuss even less.

@RandolphCarter You made the fuss, by answering that question on meta you made it about more than just getting rid of low quality content.

So, again... why not just go silently? Why the need to bring drama to this site? Why the need to snark like that in your 'answer' on meta?

The discussion about the whole pronoun policy is happening on MSE, not IPS Meta.

@Tinkeringbell It might contain more snark than neccessary, that is true. The pronoun policy however is something that was discussed here as well as the meta post on IPS is specifically about editing practices in the face of the new "CoC".

I don't see the "all or nothing" angle regarding selfishness. Even if coming clean only benefits him directly and not her, that doesn't mean it won't have an eventual positive impact on the relationship, ultimately benefitting her in an indirect way. It increases his degree of commitment to the relationship by reconfirming mutual honesty. After he establishes why he lied and why it was wrong, a space then opens up to discuss a larger issue in the relationship - her insecurity that manifests from anxiety about his past. — kraftydevil 1 min ago

10:02 AM

@RandolphCarter Still... your 'answer' says nothing about how to edit or editing practices. All it does is say 'I don't want my posts edited, goodbye!'. Why bring the drama here, why not go silently?

And the notion is not "snark" - that in the face of compelled speech it is a valid course of action to withdraw. You are right though, I should have made it more about editing.

Withdraw content. Not just disappear because it might be uncomfortable for you that people don't want to gloss over the whole Monica thing

Ah, so now it's about Monica? On a post that tries to discuss editing practices? That's really NAA then.

No, it is not "about Monica"

You said it was..

You said you wrote the answer because of Monica.

Which is really really unprofessional.

I did not, don't put words in my mouth. I said you were comfortable glossing over it, as is apparent by your introduction

10:06 AM

Ah. Well, I can assure you I'm not.

You don't want the pronoun debate. You cannot mention the pronoun debate without also mentioning monica implicitly

The 'pronoun debate' goes on MSE. On IPS, we might discuss what practical implications the new CoC has for our site.

This has nothing to do with Monica.

This has nothing to do with compelled speech.

'Don't use language likely to alienate people based on gender' was always already in the CoC.

That is true, which is why my answer does not mention Monica either

@RandolphCarter You know what? Have fun with your answer. I'm not going to waste more energy on this, just as we decided not to waste energy on undeleting your answers.

It's score speaks for itself, it shows I can be proud of this community.

I brought Monica up in the comments to showcase at this example that it apparently does not matter anyways if one breaks the CoC or not even for the highest echelons of SE.

So your "promise" that nothing is going to change is basically an empty promise. Things already changed, shog is not a mod anymore.

1:25 PM

I'm on the fence about this. OP has clearly said that she wasn't in fact sleeping. It's usually painfully obvious when someone is pretending to be asleep so it's pretty safe to assume this person knew for a fact that OP wasn't asleep. That being said after the first kiss wasn't well received it seems creepy/aggressive to go for more, however remember we are only hearing one side of this story. — Jesse_b 2 mins ago

#22858 Jesse_b (101 rep) | A: My best friend kissed me while I was half asleep. How can I bring this up and set boundaries, without making a big deal about it? (score: 24) | posted 51 days ago by goat_fab (1265 rep) | Toxicity 0.19542086 | Comment on inactive post | tps/fps: 0/0

dave

Pronoun debate. Lol. @Tinkeringbell. I just call things "it". I'm not trying to make my life harder.

FYI it sounds like you don't know how to mow your lawn. You should never mow your grass in the same direction twice so it's unreasonable to ask him to always blow the clippings in the same direction. You either want him to bag his clippings or get a better mulching blade. His clippings going into your lawn isn't going to give you anymore weeds than his lawn already does. Your imaginary property line doesn't change the fact that your adjacent lawns are actually the same. — Jesse_b 1 min ago

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← 45 messages moved from The Awkward Silence

3:10 PM

@Guillaume Thank you for your comment. I didn't know. I understood that there are many types of “western dating culture”. If you like, I would like you to teach me about French culture. I'm sorry if you're saying rude. — roger 1 min ago

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@JulianaKarasawaSouza >>I'm Brazilian (half-Japanese) and I live in the Netherlands (dating a Dutch guy). I was surprised and I felt a little like my condition. I appreciate it very much. — roger 1 min ago

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5:31 PM

Have you tried using humor? — Boondoggle 5 secs ago

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user58

5:47 PM

@IPSCommentBot tp

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

6:09 PM

The question is primarily opinion-based. Avoid questions like Should I. Rephrase you're question so that it can be solve a specific interpersonal problem. That having said you could ask yourself how trying to connect to your family serves you: it seems it doesn't. — Boondoggle 1 min ago

#23285 Boondoggle (816 rep) | Q: How can I approach the situation where I feel I’m neglected? (score: 0) | posted 52 minutes ago by Neeku (101 rep) | Toxicity 0.16375275 | tps/fps: 0/0

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6:40 PM

I understand. We cannot make the decision for you whether you want to call your brother or not. If you want to know if they got your presents why not call both? If I'm correct you're hesitant to call your brother. Why not call or message his wife or their home phone? — Boondoggle 1 min ago

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8:42 PM

As it stands this question has 3 close votes and I suspect will be closed. I'd suggest first removing the intrapersonal skill (not making yourself too shy) and ask the more focused question about initiating a conversation between yourself and someone you want to get to know. — baldPrussian 1 min ago

#23274 baldPrussian (25984 rep) | Q: What is a good way to start conversations with a girl you like? (score: 0) | posted 16 hours ago by Davis Jones (4 rep) | Toxicity 0.10424897 | tps/fps: 0/0

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CaldeiraG

@IPSCommentBot fp