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2:09 AM
1
Q: I paid someone in advance for a task and they haven't done it. What should I do?

c-x-bergerThis situation involves three people: Myself An online friend and artist (we'll call him Saxton) My SO (we'll call her Reva.) I don't know Saxton's age exactly, but I don't think anybody here is older than 25. On August 24, I asked Saxton for a portrait/drawing as an anniversary gift for Rev...

 
 
4 hours later…
6:14 AM
Morning :)
 
Hey there
 
6:42 AM
How is it going? :)
 
7:38 AM
@dhein way too much work, but I'm good :) you?
 
7:50 AM
@scohe001 I can read that! It's surprisingly understandable :)
Morning!
 
JAD
haihai
 
Morning :)
 
8:12 AM
@scohe001 oh dear, that's surprisingly easy to understand for a Latin European
 
@avazula Kinda the same :D Keep you chin up ;)
@avazula probably for almost any European... Concept proofed '^.^
 
Doggo! o/
 
8:44 AM
A curse upon tangled curly hair
>.<
 
8:57 AM
Can someone find me the Meta post that asking a question is the last thing you should do?
either Meta.SE or SO
it's pretty popular
 
9:22 AM
Good morning. Or good whatever time it is where you are.
 
i wish it was a good morning... train got held outside the station for nearly 20 mins and we just had to sit there
 
JAD
ouch
It's starting to get too cold to bike without coat :/
 
I accidentally called my friend a neo-nazi and I don't think we're friends anymore.
 
...that sounds like there's a story there.
 
JAD
curious thing to do by accident :o
 
9:31 AM
... how does one accidentally call someone else a neo nazi
 
I know he can be bit of a troll at times and he has slightly different political opinions than me, but we've been friends for like 10 years, so all okay, I guess. Agree to disagree. I hadn't talked with him for a few months, but we started texting again recently.
At some point, I started a bit of a rant against neo-nazis on the internet and how they made me feel unsafe. He wrote something among the likes of "are you sure they weren't just right-wing trolls?". I wrote back: "What's the difference?". He's been ghosting me since.
 
i feel like you're not really in the wrong here
 
I'm conflicted. I feel like I owe him some, for so many years of friendship. But on the other hand, I cannot condone "right-wing trolling".
 
"compromise where you can. But where you can't, don't"
 
compromising with right-wing trolls seems like a bad idea in any case
 
JAD
10:02 AM
at the same time, it's kind of a shitty situation when politics has to dominate everything
 
@IPSCommentBot tp
@IPSCommentBot tps
what've i done wrong this time lol
 
it needs to be a reply
 
ohhh i always forget replies exist when you can tag people ^^
 
@JAD Yep, that. I think it's perfectly okay to have different political views. Like, should we fund school or public transport or health more? Or should the railroads be state-controlled or privately owned? I think we all have opinions about those and it's perfectly fine to disagree with each other on those. But some things shouldn't be political. Some things are just basic human decency.
 
10:18 AM
our flat has an unspoken "minimal politics" rule because two of us wre pretty far left, one is central and one is mid-far right... none of us want to fallout
 
I keep thinking the central part is not heavily supported
What if the table breaks in half
 
This friend is my ex-roommate. We actually talked politics quite a bit in our house. We seemed to agree back then. Something has definitely changed.
 
I discuss politics with one of my close friends all the time but it mostly turns to social and psychological commentary
 
this is probably a gross generalisation, but the past ~2 years seem to have had more polarising political events than before and people's opinions have changed
 
Well, at least we're more clear in this part of the world whether to hate the guy in charge or not
 
10:26 AM
i would disagree... its more that "western" countries typically receive more written hatred for their leaders because they aren't at risk of being killed for free speech
 
I actually meant the other way around.
It's not as dictatorial as you think here.
 
ah, my bad
 
But it's true that people save faces in public, be it fear of prosecution or just the inevitable trouble that would pursue it
 
I'm in formation. I'm bored out of my mind (because I already know 80% of that). The instructor is an a**hole. We are only five so I have to play the perfect neurotypical which is exhausting as hell.

It's nice to be ranting. I'll hopefully be back soon to keep doing that :p
 
@Ælis FINALLY
See what I'm getting at, ranting is AWE. FRIGGING. SOME.
 
10:33 AM
catharsis is important. bottling things up ain't great for the long term
 
Exactly :p
 
Keep ranting. Get that steam out.
 
It's scientifically proven by sciency scientists that ranting just generally keeps you calm in mild dosages
SCIENCE-APPROVED stamp on it. With TOP SECRET and ASAP
What am I doing reading this, it's probably not going to end well
You're just increasing the entropy of the universe. That's a favorable process.
 
More entropy!
 
its not 11 yet but I am h*cking hungry
 
10:41 AM
Hicking hungry?
Happens
 
Fun fact: I cannot differentiate feeling hungry and feeling bored. Anyone else with that problem?
 
TBH I haven't felt hungry for a long time. I eat food out of some sort of "I should do it or I won't get what I'm reading" obligation
But I'm a rare case
Or maybe that's what feeling hungry is like?
 
@M.A.R. I have no idea. Perhaps someone else can tell you. I've got an app that helps me figure out how much I should eat and when. It's one of the reasons I can't live alone. Before smartphones, I've gone over a day without eating and later on fainting.
 
honestly i've lost motivation to eat food a lot recently... idek why
 
Food is overrated
 
10:59 AM
I either don't feel hungry at all or starve
:p
And I'm currently starving!
 
'tis the age of digital after all.
 
My blind cat found a particularly sunny spot :)
@Ælis
 
Aww. I want a sunny spot too :(
Darned dark office :(
 
Sunlight in the office is important. Start a mutiny.
 
Considering it :)
 
11:43 AM
@M.A.R. food is unnecessarily expensive
 
Exactly. Overrated.
Did Bugs Bunny seem unhappy in life.
He just trolled other humans and animals and dug dirt and ate carrots.
Wait.
So Bugs Bunny is a troll! Dun dun duuuuun
 
12:00 PM
@IPSCommentBot This needs to go away now
For context, it is advocating violence
 
headdesk headdesk headdesk
Why would any . . . just . . .
I need to go back to reading how awesome cells are.
 
JAD
@M.A.R. cells are amazing
you can put formulas in them
give them a colour
 
FTR, Lehninger's principles of biochemistry is really amazing for laymen if they wanna brush up their knowledge of chemistry and biology
Up until page 200, at least
Except the part on chirality, it's a bit too technical for people's sake
 
@M.A.R. If you don't mind Reddit and like reading, you may like this post: reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/dg4xq6/…
 
@Belle everyone has the hobby they don't wanna admit
Like . . . reading . . . r/nosle . . . nevermind
Well, calling it a hobby is too strong. I'm usually too busy reading something else.
 
12:10 PM
@M.A.R. Nope. Not going there. Nope.
 
Some of them are too much of a nihilist for my taste, some of them are enjoyable though
Like, it's a frigging post on the internet, the random rush of emotions is okay but don't get Shakespearean on the characters.
People won't remember your story, so don't just give a sad and dark ending for the sake of having given a sad and dark ending. We get it, we can be edgy and kewl.
There's these couple of guys that do their jumpscare thing or maybe even depict graphic scenes of something like an Scorsese movie but in the end finish it on a lighter note.
 
Thanks, I'm on r/nosleep now and can't stop
 
Anyway, I'd like to say I frequent Biology and especially Chemistry but I don't
The BS/good stuff ratio is too high :/
If it's ever something I had initial interest in, without the useless shower-of-thought plague that overtakes with the thousand random "fact nuggets of the day", I find landing on a Reddit page from Google is much more helpful, so I guess I quality merely as an outsider.
 
12:40 PM
Woah... @M.A.R. and @Belle are making this room waaaaay too green XD
Quick.
Add a red parrot
 
And a purple....person?
 
Yay! :)
Much better :P
@AGirlHasNoName fits in the colour scheme nicely too :)
 
I'm blue! Dabadee dabada
 
It's not easy being green
 
Also... great news! After months of thinking that work was blocking spotify web player... it turned out it was Tampermonkey breaking things...
Without the extension, spotify is working fine :|
 
12:43 PM
Oh that tampermonkey
Quick question on flags. I used a custom mod flag on a post and left a note explaining how I found the content objectionable. The flag was marked helpful and the comments on the post were nuked, but the objectionable content is still there. Is there a reason for that?
 
No edits/rollbacks?
 
Nope, the last edit was right around the time I submitted the flag
 
@Rainbacon do you mind providing a link please?
 
To the post?
 
yup
 
12:48 PM
 
thanks
 
It's the second custom flag I used on it yesterday that I'm curious about
 
oh, I did handle the first but not the second one
 
Yeah, I re-flagged it because the edits the OP made after your comment didn't improve the problem that I flagged for
 
that answer is weird
the whole post is a bit of a car crash to be honest
 
12:54 PM
Well...
23 hours ago, by avazula
we should let them know that it's NAA too
It's also unkind to me though, I agree
 
question: how can i do X?

answer: stop doing x and y!!1!
 
Mostly I'm curious as to why my flag was marked helpful without there being any visual action taken
 
i remember i used to see that happen on worldbuilding SE a bit
 
@Rainbacon denial/acceptance "with" reason is appropriate I think
 
This doesn't seem right ;p
 
1:02 PM
@Tinkeringbell why'd you use spotify in web player?
 
@ankii But there's not a reason listed when I look at my flag history
 
@CaldeiraG link ?
@Rainbacon yes.. umm that's the todo for handler :p
 
0
Q: Undefined variable with class

CaldeiraGI'm trying to do a dynamic query building with this answer but apparently, I'm missing something out: When I do $db->select($fields,$where, $params);, it returns undefined variable on db. Please, don't mind the unparameterized query as I can't find a way to fix that (maybe I'll do another quest...

 
oh yea.. 1 Aug 2019
 
Aargh, my feet are so cold! I need heated socks or something.
 
1:04 PM
@Belle Ask your cat to move a little bit, :p let you have some sunlight
Why don't I see that SO close feedback?!
my question got closed 15 minutes ago.. 4 minutes of asking
 
closed 29 months ago? very epic
 
@Rainbacon I can't find whether your flag got automatically closed or was reviewed by another mod. I'm sorry.
 
😬 Thanks for trying
 
1:29 PM
0
Q: What's the best way to deal with VLQ "answers" when you can't flag them appropriately?

OldPadawanThis is about THIS question. If interpersonal skills are a way to deal with the issue (not even sure about that, though...), the problem lies with the "answers". How do you know an IPS question has hit the HNQ? => check the # of views, the # of votes, and, unfortunately, the # of low quality ...

 
1:47 PM
C is sooo clunky. Pointers weren't made for it.
 
@Tinkeringbell I just realized you have nearly 2.5x as many downvotes as upvotes cast all time. I appreciate that
 
@AlexRobinson He predicted i was going to ask that 27 months ago :p
@ankii Only 50% of the users are able to see this change so I'm in group A and you're in B :p
 
2:07 PM
@Tinkeringbell yay for fitting in. I don't feel that way very often ☺️
 
@AGirlHasNoName You belong perfectly everywhere you go girl <3
 
Oh hey @ElizB, I was just thinging this morning how it's been a while since I've seen you around. How are you doing?
 
Yeah been a while. I basically resigned from the job that was stressing me out, and I'm just recovering from that. This is my first week without that job and I'm adjusting
I'm okay otherwise. I'm kinda fighting a virus now, getting a sore throat I think
 
@ElizB Oh no! I'm working from home today because I can't stop coughing. Sorry to hear that the job was so stressful
 
@Rainbacon it's alright I'm glad that I was given a chance to resign
 
3:07 PM
Ugh, sometimes I hate HNQ
 
Only sometimes? You've had a good experience then
 
I mean, it's a pretty nice experience getting a bunch of fake internet points when I write a good answer
 
Serious question for you: have you ever gotten real internet points?
 
The problem is when you have answers like this one racking up upvotes
Sadly, no
 
Hmm. Keep me posted if that ever changes. I've been searching for them for years
 
3:17 PM
well +30 -10, IPS regulars have done they could.
 
Let's see if we can keep this answer from taking off
 
I feel really bad for that OP
 
Yeah, they are getting absolutely awful answers, which just piles onto their already awful situation
 
@Rainbacon (But also a general note): Asking others to take a look is fine, but try and keep your messages as neutral as possible... as in, probably don't suggest actions that way..
 
@Tinkeringbell I see your point, but the flood of "just hire a lawyer" answers and comments on that post is getting a little ridiculous
 
3:22 PM
Probably needs a edit/comment on the question then, or the question isn't really about Interpersonal Skills?
(I don't really have the time to look into all the fine details)
 
I have a feeling it may be the latter.
 
I disagree
The question boils down to "how can I stop this rumor that is spreading about me"
 
And that's a good question. Even "How can I reshape the narrative with my friends?"
But the question ends with "What can I do to fix this situation?" which is probably why we're seeing this
 
I don't think there's a way that the question could be edited which would prevent those kinds of answers
Curious, is there any precedent about cross posting someone else's question?
 
4:27 PM
I hate neurotypical and I hate my autism. I hate that I can't disclose I'm on the spectrum because people will think that it's a "lazy escuse". I hate how weak and tired I'm currently am. I wish I could just go on a normal day like everyone else and don't feel like my brain is about to explode because of how bl**dy tired I am. I just wish I could do those home assignments, but I can't and tomorow, everyone will find me lazy and unprofessional because I didn't.
Also, @IPSCommentBot I need a cat
 
@Ælis I'm sorry you are struggling with this. Much love and courage to you.
Also, @IPSCommentBot, Ælis needs another cat
 
@Rainbacon <3
 
@Ælis oof I'm sorry :( if there's ever anything we can do to help, we're here for you<3
 
4:30 PM
@IPSCommentBot KITTY!!
 
yay. @Ælis <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
 
@IPSCommentBot Proof that felines are fluids
 
@all
 
4:31 PM
I really like that image. I find it quite aesthetic
@Ælis Have a picture of my cat to go along with the others
 
Ooh that's probably a warm laptop
 
Actually no, it hasn't been on since last night. It's quite cold
 
@Rainbacon <3
 
@Ælis She's keeping me company today because I'm working from home due to a cold
 
I hope you will get better soon :)
 
4:36 PM
Thanks!
 
@Ælis Have you considered getting an assistance dog? Besides the help that they can offer (get you to better places if you're overwhelmed, point out to you you're getting overwhelmed etc), they also 'prove' that you have 'something' to those who are less willing to believe your words.
 
@Belle I probably won't be able to take care of them :/ Also, I don't know how it works, but I'm pretty sure that society don't think I'm handicap enough to have one :/
 
@Ælis Do you know what common perceptions there are about service dogs where you live?
 
@Ælis I get what you mean. Some family members believe I'm not handicapped enough to have one either. But my GP thinks it's a great idea, and what my GP thinks is what matters.
 
I know that there are a lot of mixed thoughts on them in the US. There's a lot of speculation that many people here have gotten their dogs listed as service dogs without any formal processes just so they can take their pets with them when they go out. I don't know if it's actually common, but a lot of people seem to think it is, and that clouds their ideas of the validity of service dogs
It's really quite sad
 
4:45 PM
@Rainbacon Most people don't have one and the only ones who do are people that are blind (but not all of them, don't know why). So, it would be incredibly weird and unexpected If I were to have one without a visible handicap
@Belle I don't know what GP is, but if it's your doctor, then it's definitively what matter :)
 
@Ælis General practitioner. Indeed, doctor :)
 
@Rainbacon In fact, I think service dog mostly don't exist in France
 
@Ælis Sad, from what I've heard, they are quite useful for those who need them
 
Yeah, I have no doubt that is true. Even people who "just" have depression could use them, so, if you have "more than that", it's probably very helpful
 
I think a lot of people here who are prone to seizures get them because dogs can be trained to catch seizures before they happen so they can warn you and you can take medication to prevent the seizure
 
4:54 PM
bad news: i've been given more responsibilities at work so i now have less time to chat here :(
 
5:14 PM
@AlexRobinson erh ... should I say congrats or condolences?
:p
 
5:53 PM
@avazula congrats to Alex, condolences to us :p
 
6:14 PM
0
Q: ASD here, how to explain some colleagues that some of my difficulties wont improve with my effort or by their teasing?

Always ConfusedIn a particular classroom a gang of people started to get bewildered at fact I was missing most of the indirect hints they constantly use; that include "white lies" everyone claimed to understand as false/joke/sarcasms except me. I disclosed my dx to them yet they keep me scolding for not underst...

 
My mother just said (to someone else on the phone), that she was happy that I'm eating cheese again (which I have to do because of my current eating disorder because cheese is full of fat and is one of the rare things I manage to eat when I'm at my lowest). So, yeah, if her "daughter" (me) isn't really vegan anymore, me having depression/an eating disorder is worth it #sarcasm
 
@Ælis that's messed up
 
0
Q: ASD here, how to explain some colleagues that some of my difficulties wont improve with my effort or by their teasing?

Always ConfusedIn a particular classroom a gang of people started to get bewildered at fact I was missing most of the indirect hints they constantly use; that include "white lies" everyone claimed to understand as false/joke/sarcasms except me. I disclosed my dx to them yet they keep me scolding for not underst...

 
@Rainbacon Oh yeah, and she is also currently talking (badmouthing) about this "crazy" person, without realizing that, by every definition, I am crazy myself and badmouthing someone because of that is really not nice
 
@Ælis I'm sorry you have to go through that
 
6:26 PM
@Rainbacon I'm glad I can talk to you (and everyone on this room) about that
Well, I just sandboxed something about it (the "crazy" part, not the "vegan" part). I don't know about actually posting it though. I'm pretty sure I will get ugly and "you are a snowflake" comments
 
6:42 PM
1
A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

ÆlisHow can I communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she uses the word "crazy" in a negative way? mental-health, family, parents, conflict-aversion I wrote a post about that some time ago (not here), that better explains my view and feelings about this subject. Here is an English tr...

 
@IPSCommentBot Weird to see someone I'm familiar with on a different site commenting here.
 
@El'endiaStarman For real?
 
1
Q: How can I give an ultimatum without actually giving it?

JimI will soon bring up the idea of a backup method of contraceptives to my girlfriend of 7 months. We usually only use male contraceptives, but she is the first girlfriend that I've had which isn't on another form as well. This makes me a little paranoid and takes me out of the moment when we're in...

 
@IPSCommentBot Yeah for reals!
 
6:58 PM
@El'endiaStarman I get that occasionally when I see a high rep SO user randomly wander in
 
"move to chat" returned an error
so using this chatbox
threy were trying to divert from the point. I felt like they were resisting detailed discussion. so i later whatsapped them individually
@Ælis
And i was feeling anxiety to explain vocally
 
@AlwaysConfused Could you edit those details into your post? It's important that we know that in order to provide you with a good answer
 
okk
I am copy pasting some chat component then plz feel free to edit to customize
doing right now @Ælis
 
Real quick, how would y'all feel about these new features to the bot: github.com/thesecretmaster/ips-comment-bot/issues/42 (cc: @Ælis, @Rainbacon, @user58)
(I'll probably let that sit for a day so y'all can all respond before doing anything with it)
 
meh
 
7:18 PM
> Maybe only give a point if you are the first to give the feedback?

Also, I'm kind of afraid of new people given wrong feedbacks before they figure things out (like the fact that you should use "tp" even if the catch doesn't match). Maybe give them a link to some explaination if it's the first time they are reporting a comment?
 
@Ælis Done
 
7:33 PM
@AlwaysConfused Seems good to me :) I think we can both delete our comments now
 
:)
please do the necessary
 
@AlwaysConfused I can only delete mine. Could you delete yours?
 
yes i can
and i m willing to clean up
 
7:45 PM
26 messages moved to Trash
@JourneymanGeek Welcome back to MSE modding!
 
8:11 PM
\o/
@Ælis oh, you're back @JourneymanGeek? Welcome again :)
 
8:25 PM
 
i mean, what are the odds of being confused with a criminal
It's like being in jail and getting out, people will look at you differently
Even if you regret about it
don't take the comparison equal in any scenario, of course it's not black and white
 
@CaldeiraG I don't know, maybe you should ask this man (french link) who wasn't Xavier DUpont de Ligonnès xD
 
of course putting en (english) on the link returns nothing :D
 
@CaldeiraG I suppose it depends on your definition of "confused with a criminal", because a lot of people in the US end up falsely imprisoned
 
@CaldeiraG You should try running "Dupont de Ligonnès Glasgow arrestation" in your engine, you will probably find english/portuguese links
 
8:33 PM
@Rainbacon Yeah
@Ælis portuguese/português (in portuguese ;P)
still results in french results
oh because arrestation is french too
 
@CaldeiraG Ah nice, thank you, fixed!
 
arrest worked fine :D
@Ælis you're welcome :)
here's a cat for ya
 
@CaldeiraG <3
 
@Ælis my first result :D
 
> A man arrested at Glasgow Airport on suspicion of murdering his family eight years ago was detained by mistake.

Identity checks have shown that the man is not Xavier Dupont de Ligonnes, Police Scotland confirmed.

The 58-year-old has been on the run since his wife and four children were found buried at their home in Nante in 2011.

The detained man was stopped at the airport after arriving on a flight from Paris.
I must add that this man made the news for a full 24h before people realized, he wasn't the right man!
 
8:37 PM
wow, that's odd
 
The whole media frenzy was so stupid it makes me laught everytime x)
 
xD
 
@avazula @Tink I should've known you Europeans would have an easy time of it :p
 
the person is still missing since 2011
that's insane, living on the dark for so long
 
@scohe001 Oh yeah, it was easy for me too. I was actually surprise that it was hard for you
 
8:41 PM
@scohe001 Easy to read here too :D
 
9:20 PM
My uncle (mother's younger brother) actually got imprisoned in the early 90s because he fit the description of a robber. Description was: Zundapp moped, white helmet, denim jacket. This was the early 90s, that description matched every other young adult. He got released the next day when an officer came in that was a friend of my mother and father and he was like "what are you doing here?"
So with that story and the Xavier Dupont de Ligonnes story, I'm not surprised something like that question could happen
 
@Belle :( glad everything ended well
 
9:42 PM
My family has a knack for getting into trouble in such manners, but luckily also one for getting out :)
 

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