@scohe001 "edited that sweet character" aww you're so nice! @Ælis's gonna love it haha

Dear Cash now I'm not used to PC keyboards anymore. Darn it Apple! haha

Lol have you tried running sudo apt-get install frisbie on your Fedora so she'll play nice?

@scohe001 Nope, but while I'm at it I should also update the im-fed-at-home-so-i-dont-have-to-kill-birds package

Ahh I heard that one had a vulnerability that allowed it to be ignored. Should've been patched out in the latest dinner package though

Just make sure to install that by 5pm tonight

@avazula lol I wasn't sure if you'd notice

@scohe001 I'll force it then

@scohe001 Haha! I stumbled upon it by accident :)

@avazula better late than never! what's up? :P

@ElizB yay! hey you :)

Nah I was just talking about room owners haha

Hey @Rainbacon I just realized we have the same blog template!

The default one from wordpress :p

@Rainbacon Uh, it wasn't the default for me ._.

Maybe it wasn't for me either, I don't remember

Mine's called "I used to be smart", but everything's in French :/

Lol okay

It's been a long time since I set that up

I'm so glad i wrote a good answer recently!

@avazula Link? I can run it through a translator

Or maybe learn French

@ElizB Yeah, I really liked your latest answer! :D

@Rainbacon There's not much to see but please, help yourself: iusedtobesmart.wordpress.com

Hehe, I like some of the translations

I'm currently working on some Medium articles

Hmm, my network blocked the link to the aspergirl blog in your discovering autism post as "adult content"

@Rainbacon Really? Huh

Yeah

:(

I'll just read it at home, shouldn't be an issue so long as my employer doesn't think I'm looking at NSFW content in the office

hahaha

If anyone asks I'm sure I can just explain myself and they'd be reasonable

if that may reassure you everything on this site is about autism

just... in French

Let me guess, it mentions "bisexual" somewhere on the site

Oh, I get it, it's because French is a sensual language haha

hahaha

@avazula I believe it's a "Romance Language" but I like this more :p

haha

@Mithrandir not even! o_o

Just so long as nobody ever speaks french in a british accent. The world can't handle that

Picard might.

@Rainbacon lol. When I was living abroad everyone knew I was French. In France everyone believes I'm French-British haha

@Mithrandir what?

speak French with a British accent

@avazula When I was studying in England a number of people thought I was Irish

ha

@Rainbacon how come? haha

I guess my American accent sounds Irish to them?

Or maybe I sound American, but I'm not belligerent so they're sure I'm not American :p

hahaha

Oh dear

It's always weird when I find out that someone from SE follows me on Twitter

Oh, sorry :)

haha

I believe I'm up to 3 SE people that I follow on Twitter now

how did you find it, if you don't mind me asking?

There was something you said the other day (I don't remember what) that made me realize I wanted more of the content you publish, so I went and looked for another avenue to consume your posts.

@Rainbacon oh, you're not in luck then, I hardly post on Twitter

Oh well

haha

Oh actually, I follow 4 SE people. I forgot that I followed EmC

I'm trying to post more, especially on my blog and Medium. But I'm so afraid of doing it. I fear people will react badly, or that they'll know more about who I am

That is the struggle

I haven't posted on my blog in over 2 years for that very reason

:/

I have tons of ideas, but my English isn't the best and I'm always panicked at the idea that I'll write stupid stuff haha

I hadn't even thought about the fact that you're not writing in your native language

haha

What kind of stuff do you want to write about?

I have several ideas in my backlog right now:

I'd be curious to know what some of the ideas are, but if you don't want to share I'd understand.

@Ash I mostly just use it to see what other people are saying. I don't post much

'm currently working on the first one.

I have a notebook full of ideas but it's upstairs and I don't feel like moving right now haha

@Ash @Ælis was at my place last weekend and they said they adored the book recommendations you gave them!

:)

@scohe001 Oh, Thanks scohe :D

@avazula Those sound like great topics

@Ash Yep, I even buy the third one in English because it was so good :D

@Ælis you did? :D

I'd be quite interested in reading number 3. That's a particular topic of interest for me

@Rainbacon I may have some reading recommendations for you then

Oh?

let me gather them

@avazula Yep, now I will probably by every other books this person has ever write even if it's in English :D (well, I will make sure to verify the topic first but I'm pretty sure I will try other one)

@Ash It wasn't the first book I read in English but I do rarely and only if there isn't another option and I really want to read what's next. But I found those books so warm and comfy and full of emotions, I wanted more

@Ælis yay :)

Wow, we're up to 199 votes in the election

wow

are you stressed about it?

More votes is always good because it means random fluctuations don't affect site consensus much.

A little, are you?

yup

Also, apparently I have a heart too

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ I'm kinda wondering out of 199 people, how many didn't vote randomly :P

@Rainbacon When I was in an election my recently discovered heart was coming out of my mouth

Yeah, the more votes we get, the less confident I feel in my projection of how the election will go.

When I thought there would be maybe 40 votes, I was fairly confident I knew how it would go. Now I'm fairly uncertain

@Tinkeringbell I think that's pretty close to 199. People come up with random metrics to vote (usually rep? In this case everyone is close to each other) but their votes aren't random

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ I think when tink says "vote randomly" she is referring to people voting by arbitrary metrics rather than based on knowledge of the candidates

#22093 Thomas Clayson (101 rep) | A: How to make clear to people I don't want to answer their "Where are you from?" question? (score: 58) | posted 56 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (23669 rep) | edited 48 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (23669 rep) | Toxicity 0.25640047 |

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

@Rainbacon people who know us know we like and talk to each other as well. It's almost like no matter who's elected in the end, there's the assurance that they'll do a great job at moderating.

For example, when I voted. I based my votes a lot on interactions I've had with the candidates on the site as well as here in chat. With the exception of NVZ, I feel as if I know the other candidates fairly well (for the purposes of a mod election at least). Most of those 199 voters don't regularly visit chat. I can't say what number of them visit the site regularly, but I've looked at every name and I only recognize a handful of them.

@avazula That's true

@IPSCommentBot tp

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

Interesting, I got a new kind of rep change notification. It says +-1 indicating that I got one rep back from a downvoted answer being deleted on IPS, but also lost 1 rep for downvoting an answer on MSE

ooh, strange

Interesting. I just got the same thing.

Did they finally implement negative rep notifications?

Although I couldn't actually see what it says, as the dropdown is broken.

#22132 brhans (105 rep) | Q: What are some casual ways to sign-off on an email? (score: 0) | posted 7 minutes ago by Nate M (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.18524995 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

Hmm, so apparently I'm supposed to get a gift for my fiancee on our wedding day?

@Rainbacon it's the custom in some cultures, yes.

Usually for a woman it's a jewel and a watch or (bow)tie for a man

@Ash I've tried so hard to get my fiancee to do that, but as she puts it, "No, I want to be a princess". I told her we could still do the whole fancy dress and party thing and just take care of all the legal stuff now, but she won't go for it

@Rainbacon we have the opposite situation over here with Mister Ava. As I'm currently engaged in legal procedures for changing my name, I can't get married now, otherwise I'll get his name, and we want to create a family with both his name and the new one I'll hopefully get. So we're gonna have a family event before getting legally married haha

Interesting

it'll take three more years before the State even begins to proceed my request ...

So what I'm hearing is that Ava is the anti-bacon

@Rainbacon why's that? Haha

@Rainbacon I could've told you that... they're vegan XD

Because you and Mr Ava are doing the opposite of what I'm trying to do with Mrs bacon

@Rainbacon Ha. Well, if that comforts you in your original will, we're gonna have a small event near our house with a barbecue and a jam session. I'm not even gonna buy a wedding dress lol

@Ash It's a very long time for abandoning the name of a person who's legally my father but who's just a coward abuser, yes. Justice, they call it...

Should he die soon, I'd inherit his debts, whereas I haven't seen him in 20 years

@avazula Isn't there anything legal you can do against that? I think I've read of kids 'disowning' themselves, so they won't have exactly that, over here...

He's always prevented me from getting to know his other children. Only one of them knows I'm their sister and I'm not even sure they believed me when I reached out. Haven't heard of them since, it's been three years. Fortunately I was adopted by a great family afterwards.

@Tinkeringbell Well ... It's a bit complicated. I could do that when he dies but it would mean having to deal with his new wife who basically hates me. I could also do that now, but I'd have to go to court and things wouldn't go smoothly, as he owns me and my mother at least 18 years of alimony ... And I don't want any money from him.

:( (but :) for the great family)

@Tinkeringbell yeah :)

@avazula :/ I'm not sure how French law works XD but disowning yourself so you won't inherit his debts in tied in with receiving alimony? :/ That's weird.

@Tinkeringbell yeah, French law is weird ^^

@Mithrandir You're getting a load of dupes :P

haha

@avazula It's not so much uncomfortable as... there's not much words you can type without either sounding amazingly cheesy or disinterested ;)

@Tinkeringbell I guess so haha. But sometimes I'd like to talk about it when other people talk about their families, or even when they ask about mine or my father, you know. I'm upset that it's getting weird as soon as I do it.

Which is why blogging seems to be a good idea

@avazula Yeah, I understand. If people talk about families you should definitely feel free to talk about yours too... I guess there must be some way to not make things weird. We just have to try and learn, I guess.

knock knock

who's there?

Is the doorbell broken?

@avazula It can be really helpful to just put something out there. When I started blogging, I never expected anyone to read it, but it felt nice being able to say what I had to say

@avazula Hatch

@Tinkeringbell IPS question! yay! xD

@Tinkeringbell yes

@AJ hatch who?

@avazula I was thinking more of an experiment here in chat XD

@Rainbacon Feels the same when drawing :)

@avazula god bless you. ;)

It's probably primarily opinion based :P

@Tinkeringbell erh ... "how to talk about my uncommon past when asked about it without making people feel uncomfortable?" wouldn't that do? :p

@avazula Nah.

It should at least be 'how to respond to ava's weird past without making her notice things are uncomfortable' :P

well I shouldn't be the one asking about it then haha

what were you asking?

@avazula We should Sandbox them and post them at exactly the same time, then take bets on which one reaches HNQ XD

Not now then, or else I would definitely lose these elections. "I don't want a psycho to moderate this site" xD

@AJ nothing, we were just joking :)

@avazula You do realize it's in chat now, where people can read it anyways? :P

@Tinkeringbell I do. But they know like 10% of the story now xD

I think maybe only @Ælis knows the whole story

I'm not even sure

Uf. That means I have to deal with this like 90 other times? XD At least that gives plenty of time to figure out how to not make things awkward ;)

@Tinkeringbell I can do it now if you prefer haha

joking

Woah, easy, not all at once. :P

You know the concept of cliffhangers, right?

I'm not an author, I don't care about suspense haha

@avazula Well, you do want people to continue talking to you right? :P If you finish the story now, there'll be no more curiosity prompting any future conversations!

@Tinkeringbell considering what reactions I get when disclosing this part of my story I'm not sure I want to pursue telling it :p

I won't poke, I promise :)

I'm very good at not doing that.

(actually, I'm not :P)

haha

Anyway. I'm getting unofficially married in Summer 2020 and hopefully I'll have my foster's family name by the time I get to the town hall :)

and this is a joyful part of my story :D

That does sound awesome indeed! That's kinda quicker than what I imagined even (though still long) from what I remember you saying about the time it took for a name change to go through.

Or were you already far into that process by then? :)

@Tinkeringbell I applied last December. That means they won't start processing my demand before December 2022. (oh, and I wrote it wrong, I meant Summer 2021)

@avazula That's so long. Why do they make you wait so long?

@Rainbacon That's how administration works, I guess?

@avazula Oh wait... I missed the 'unofficially' in 2020 and thought you'd expected to have switched names then already... Dang, that's a looooong time.

@Tinkeringbell yup. Well, I'm almost 24 and have waited for this time since I was 15... I can wait a little bit more. What bothers me is that should I become a mother before I get the official answer from the State, I'll have to do it all over again so that my kids can have both Mister Ava's and my new name.

Bureaucracy at its finest I guess

@Rainbacon Guess what? I moved out since I made that request, and now I have to call them to let them know my mailing address changed, otherwise they'll send the answer to the old one and since they need to have my acknowledgment that I got their mail, I may have done this for nothing.

The worst part is that they know my new address because it's on my voting card haha

Urf...

I spent €200 to make this request by the way

Bureaucracy ;)

yup

Which is why I love my username so much :D

Well, maybe one day we'll replace the government with a computer than can do all these things quickly

(probably won't happen)

@Rainbacon I'm.. reading a Dutch brochure on changing last names right now, it seems there's a lot of bureaucracy here too.

(such a program would probably have something like sleep(ULONG_MAX); or something)

Like, if you want the name of adoptive parents, you can request it but your birth parents still have to consent.

Something like that.

@Tinkeringbell Even if you are an adult?

@Rainbacon I think if you are an adult this first point I'm reading now doesn't apply :P

@Tinkeringbell ugh :(

Oh that's good

Granted, I think the criteria for "adult" of reaching a specific age is a poor implementation

Oh. If a kid is over 12, they can consent to the name change, if one the parents objects, they have to read those objections but can still keep saying they want to change, and in such circumstances a change may happen

(It was the next point XD)

@Rainbacon So that we can have this ? (disclaimer: French webcomic, if you're interested I can translate)

@Tinkeringbell that's so cool! I wanted to do this much earlier but I'd have needed my father's consent, even though I haven't talked to him in years

I can't understand that comic, but I really enjoy the minimalist art style

@scohe001 Right? It's so beautiful!

It's the trial of a woman who was assaulted and the IA, who was created by men like the one who accused her of assault, decides that her life and word is not worth it and sentences her to death

@avazula That's really stupid. If your parents allow you to be adopted, they should lose all legal rights concerning you.

@Rainbacon ... bureaucracy?

@EmC why does it say you killed the moderators tag and put it back? O_o interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/posts/3710/revisions

@avazula There's also a ridiculously complicated thing to calculate how long you've been cared for by a specific parent or guardian, and if that term is too short in comparison to the time your other parent cared for you, it'd be denied...

Name changes really are a pinnacle of bureaucracy, it seems

@Tinkeringbell ugh u_u

@avazula damn that's a lot darker than the art suggests

@scohe001 haha

@scohe001 On a lighter note (that one's from me)

LOL I love it

note to ava: get a scanner and draw more

I still need to draw Scohe

Ooh I'm still excited!!

@avazula He's just a yellow square, how much work can that be?

@scohe001 we talked about a bearded man with a yellow shirt making stupid original jokes, right?

@avazula Hahaha that perfectly sums up my jokes. That sounds about right!

@Rainbacon You're the one saying it when you wanted to keep that purple gravatar in the picture lol

@scohe001 now I can put a piglet in your pocket and a stethoscope around your neck too

what skin colour would please you?

or I choose for you and keep it secret until you see it?

@scohe001 huh, weird. maybe I accidentally reordered the tags when I edited them

Ooh I like the piglet, but the stethoscope is my girlfriend, not me! :/

@scohe001 I know :)

@avazula ooh I like surprises. I'll trust your pick :)

kay :)

@EmC I thought tag order was automatic

Same^

@avazula ooh I can't wait! :D

@Rainbacon haha idk. I just clicked "edit tags" > type "featured" > submit :P

@scohe001 'on it

I found this article about community care, it made me think about you all :) (the article is a bit boring to read, IMO, but I love the concept)

@Ælis It sounds similar to 'mantelzorg' over here, though that's mostly related to long-term illnesses or old age, it's also sometimes used to label random acts of kindness. And society/governments/social services keep pushing people to do more of it, which goes at a cost of ... guess what? self-care time XD

@Ælis whenever I see articles like that that embed social media posts/comments now it always makes me think of this

@scohe001 my favorite is when an article embeds an editable post and the OP finds out and updates it to read something totally different

LOL I haven't seen that yet, but that sounds hilarious

that's one problem twitter doesn't have, I guess :P

@Ælis I like that it mentions online community specifically :)

@Tinkeringbell That makes me think of how our care system is currently working. There isn't enough doctor/nurse/etc to care for everyone, so they do overtime, which makes them much more likely to get sick/do a burn out and then you have even less people to care for even more people...

@EmC Yeah, online relationships are, far too often, dismiss has not "real" and not valuable when, for some people at least, they are truly making a difference in their life

I must say I like the online part, but I still disagree with 'community care is anti-capitalist'.

I have more online friends than real-life friends.

And I tend to interact with my real-life friends mostly through my phone... so yeah. I'm kinda a lot more comfortable behind a textbox.

I wouldn't call it friends, but there's definitely something about online interactions being encouraging from time to time.

ooof I struggle lol

@Tinkeringbell Capitalism always find a way, right? :p

@Ælis Yep!

@Tinkeringbell strong acquaintances? Brothers in arms? Fellow StackExchange lovers?

You're hard to draw @scohe001 lol

@scohe001 "online interactions"? :P

I basically already gave the word away!

@avazula ooh I love it!!!! That hair is surprisingly close to mine too

Lol I'm giving you beard experience :p

@scohe001 You have hair? :P

@scohe001 no duh, I've been stalking you online for months

That's a pretty uncommon username you have of course

@Tinkeringbell A bit too much, if I'm being honest. I'm a few days late for a shave right now :p

@avazula lol did you end up finding my website with my picture and resume?

I think you should have the connections to make it there

@scohe001 I have no idea what's your name or what sites you manage tbh haha

Ahh nvm then lol :p

I'm just a Medium frightening music playing

You must be a strong one to make this work all the way from France O_o

We have high bandwidths

Ahh I didn't realize that affected spiritual connections. I'll have to remember to turn my WiFi off while I'm sleeping so you can't get me :p

now the bad news: I have no idea where my markers are

oh nvmd I found them

I was looking at the place where they should be put. Obviously I can't find my stuff when it's properly organized

oh no ... Fedora killed a bird again ...

@avazula As long as it's not a parrot :P

@avazula We just don't let Giselle (our cat) outside

Does she kill often?

@Tinkeringbell she didn't before. Now it's been a week and she's killed three already

@avazula Did she leave it in my front yard? There's a dead bird there that I'm going to have to take care of in the morning...

@avazula You might want to put a bell necklace around her neck then :/

@avazula Hmmm... Did you recently change anything? Diet? Playtime?

@Mithrandir she's eating it next to me in the house. But the house she caught yesterday died in my hands, I'm alone at home and I don't have the strength to take it and put it outside at some place she couldn't reach it.

You could ask on Pets, or at least their chatroom, maybe someone has some ideas on why she suddenly started doing this.

@Ælis I'd like to. I actually did yesterday, but Mister Ava reacted so violently I let him remove it

@Tinkeringbell Nothing. I guess she just realized she could eat something fresher than her cat food

:/

I know it's nothing more than nature. But I recently learned about cats destroying populations of birds and mice and I was so happy she didn't chase them ...

Fingers crossed 'it's just a phase' then?

I'm no cat expert...

@avazula Arf :/ I understand why you wouldn't want to do that to your cat, I wish I knew a solution to this problem

me too!

@Tinkeringbell I'm not a cat expert either but I believe it has more to do with the fact that Fedora has now access to a garden and the outside which she didn't have before

was she an indoor cat before?

@Ælis Oh... in that case, I have a (Dutch :( ) news article that I read recently that might be applicable here too: nu.nl/wonen/5914872/… < you can hopefully translate the page and get the gist ;)

@EmC she was. We rescued her from a shelter, we have no idea about her past before that

It makes some interesting claims, none of which I know of whether they're true or not ;)

@avazula keeping them indoors is supposed to be better for cats in the long run anyways, less danger for them to get into. though I don't know if your kitty would accept that as a permanent change :p

@Tinkeringbell I'm not sure I got the context of this unlikely sentence, but it made me laugh XD "Spread the sausage on a water balloon so that it wraps around the cat's face when it starts to lick"

@Ælis The context was that it's one of the very animal unfriendly ways people use to keep cats out of their garden.

And it's about... I think it'd be called paté?

Seems kind of mean

@Rainbacon It is.

The article is about more friendly ways of fixing the problem ;)

@Tinkeringbell Oh, I was imagining that in a water balloon (?) and it made zero sense x)

The other 'mean' suggestion is spreading coffee grounds, so that the cat gets dirty, and it'll taste horrible to them apparently when they lick themselves clean...

But then it will get them buzzed with caffeine and they'll drive their owners crazy

@Ælis Hahaha XD Yeah, sausage is definitely not the right word there! If anything, 'smeerworst' translates to 'spreadable sausage' or something.

I prefer my version, it's more fun and nice to the cat :p

@Ælis ;) You think cats won't scare if they break the balloon, so hard that they refuse to go near the sausage that was inside it? :P

ok @scohe001, I'm sorry but I don't think I'll be able to colorize a beard on that drawing :'(

@avazula it's okay! Do the best you can and I'm sure it'll turn out amazing like always :)

@Tinkeringbell you might be surprised at how food-motivated some cats are :P

@EmC I don't think Fedora would accept such a change after six months outside :/

@scohe001 I have two versions, one "standard" and one where I tried some stuff

Standard one :

@Tinkeringbell I'm not a cat, but I will definitively not eat something that was inside a balloon, it would seem too fishy :p

And "upgraded" one:

ugh why wouldn't the second one upload?

File size too big?

Ooh it's almost comic book style. I like it!!

I should definitely do something to balance colours

These are super amazing. Thank you so much @Ava!!!<3

@scohe001 :) I'm glad you like it. I wasn't easy haha

I'm not used to draw masculine figures. @Rainbacon was hard to draw too.

<3

Lol I would've been down for a gender-bent scohe :p

I could try in the future haha

We should all get requests in before she starts charging for commissions.

I'm not food enough for that haha

I was about to say...you could absolutely be charging for this @Ava. I know I'd pay!

I'd pay, if I had a way to :P

Oh dear, someone (a stranger that I have been nice to in a facebook publication) asked me if you could talk in facebook messenger (probably so as to become friends) and I will have to refuse and I don't know how to do that (important side note: this is in a group about depression, burn out and anxiety and this particular person has anorexia)

@Ælis Is there a particular reason you want to refuse, that you think you can be honest about?

(Or was this just another venting? :) )

@Tinkeringbell Tiredness issue, this would just be too much for me (talking inline with basically a stranger)

@Ælis is simply not responding an option?

@Tinkeringbell Well no, not really venting this time, I wouldn't mind some advice ^^

@avazula I don't want to ignore them and hurt their feelings :/

Otherwise would it be possible to say you're not comfortable talking about it because it could trigger you? (Not because of anorexia but about something else)

Well, I'm not well-versed in the etiquette of online groups about stuff like that, but I would guess if you put a bunch of people with mental problems together, they would kinda accept you saying 'I'd rather not, I don't have the energy for it. Can we keep interacting to the group please?'

^ this

@Tinkeringbell That what I'm currently going for (but this person is a new member and might not yet know of this kind of problem)

"Hello, I'm really sorry but I will not be able to accept. I have tiredness issues and talking (online or "in real life") is exhausting for me, even more when I do not know the person. That said, I would be happy to continue to talk with you under the group's publications :)"

What do you people think?

Sounds good to me!

Posted, I hope it won't hurt their feelings too much, they didn't sound that well in their publications :/

@Ælis remember you're not responsible for someone else's well being. You may help to cheer them up but only them can heal themselves, with professional help if needed.

@avazula Thank you for saying that, it helps

Heh I'm having a little too much fun playing with hues here. Almost done brightening it up though!

@scohe001 I thought you named ava drawing "hues" before figuring out it might have an actual meaning XD

LOL That would be a good name

I tried to upload the gif of me playing, but looks like it was too big :(

There we go lol

Oh, nice

Yeah, I like it!

There we go! Thanks again @Ava, I absolutely love it<3 It'll take some getting used to, not seeing a little yellow square anymore, but I think this is a definite upgrade :)

Oh dear I definitely should bill you for those haha. Glad you like it :)

Haha I don't know why you don't! :p

These guys are definitely better than a lot of the commission stuff I see on devianart