@gparyani not every mod has to comment on every thing. And people insisting they do kinda defies the point of a moderator team, being able to share the load and all that.
@Ash No, I was not insisting. I asked once, and then clarified after(I thought) she thought I was asking her to take a moderator action. (Though after reading this, I realize it comes across as insistence. Gah, I have trouble thinking of tone at times. This isn't the first time; the first was a long time ago on SO Close Vote Reviewers.)
user15026
Basically, assume the mod team will see things and act on and respond to it in a way that addresses it in the ways it needs addressing. Sometimes that means you get an answer from a different moderator than you want or expect. That's part of sharing the job.
I'm trying to figure this site out. So far, I understand that the negative number next to the questions is the number of times someone didn't like the question. Can someone tell me why this happens without any feedback from the person who didn't like the question? Sorry, I've never encountered...
I'm asking this question on behalf of my girlfriend because she's asking me for help but I'm not sure on how to handle this situation.
A little bit of background:
My girlfriend's parents moved form south of the country and came here in the north for reasons of work. Her mom is a housewife (Let'...
@ExtrovertedMainMan I still think it might be a duplicate of the cash cow (if it were asked by the girlfriend itself), or we're never going to get enough detail on the girlfriends situation?
so, I live in Germany and just moved into a newly constructed apartment building with 21 renters. In the entrance are the postboxes and we got one right at the beginning at the bottom. So in germany it is normal to have on big postbox where the renters can throw away papers (advertisment, envelop...
in this Q, it asks about "what can I do?" which is fine in my eyes. But it also asks "Should I write the landlord?" Which is obviously a 'should I ..' question. But it's not a usual should-I question because it doesn't ask what is better: X or Y? instead I think it's just an unfortunate usage of should-I when what he actually wants to ask is `"what are my options and how should I approach my landlord about this?".
OP even clarified in comments that "I decided what to do. I don't want that bin in front of my postbox"
Is this not a case where we could edit the Q ourselves into a good fit for IPS, since the situation is clear and the OP just unfortunately used a 'should-I' question where it wasn't even needed?
I gave up on that one, since I don't see how it is about Interpersonal Skills.
"I don't want that bin in front of my postbox" Great. Now decide if you want to contact the landlord or the neighbours. Decide how you want to contact them. Decide why you need help with that, and it will probably end up being a 'write my note for me'
There is one certain thing that I have observed during official conversations with my colleagues, or sometimes casual conversations with my extended family members. It is usually something like this.
A person talks about a certain problem, big or small, it doesn't matter. Sometimes, when I know...
There will be a couple answers with a similar thesis, but different writing styles, ideas on what to highlight and level of detail. Each answer will have basically the same number of downvotes. Yet there will be no answer with a contradicting thesis.
It's meta so it's more acceptable to express a dissenting opinion in the comments, provided that it doesn't turn into a argument.
It's frustrating to me because while downvotes express dissent they don't share the why of it with the rest of the site. There's no way to know if there are some legitimate concerns that aren't addressed in the answer or is it just some malcontents who don't actually want to participate in meta.
@JAD I agree that the solution isn't to force comments when voting.
It's just that if you find yourself downvoting every answer on a meta question perhaps you should add your own answer.
If you're so worried about your answer being poorly received that you don't want to post it you should really ask yourself why will such an answer garner such a response.
Autistic spectrum alert - this would probably either not bother some people or be easy to deal with for them.
I've just successfully had a question answered at StackOverflow, for which I am extremely grateful. I would not have been able to think of the solution myself as the technology I am work...
A group of my friends often play semi-long term strategy video games together online. These games often span several play sessions a couple of times a week over a few months. Recently, one of my friends, George, commonly involved in this game has taken on a new aspect of his life that makes it ve...
@Arthas Absolutely not my point. I'm saying you are taking kind of a shitty approach here. But if this is true, how is your first main aspect of the question even an issue? It kind of sounds resolved — Raditz_352 mins ago
I live in a large shared house. It has 11 people in total but considering it has 3 entrances and 3 bathrooms (not including master bedroom) I didn’t think this would be a problem. I find it very noisy at very strange hours.
For example today I could hear someone’s alarm going off every 5-10 minut...
One of my colleagues is quite a volatile person, and while never usually means harm can quickly end up in a heated argument with others over something very minor as a result. Typically such instances are rare, however I can usually notice these coming as their key "starting point" is when someone...
Ooooh - okay, so while I wasn't "gone" I certainly wasn't overly active - odds are I was just here to see how the place was doing :P Still though pleasure to meet you properly :)
As in, "How to not freak out when you see lots of people consuming alcohol if for your whole life, you have only encountered teetotalers and have been warned not to take alcohol?"
@NVZ Places ;) When I joined the site I was actually on vacation, so coming home I had a loooooot of stuff to do and so the site wasn't as really important as the other things I needed to catch up on - plus spending pretty much every day for 2 weeks just here makes it stale for some time - certainly not something I'll be doing again xD
@NVZ The meta discussions seem to favor keeping them open and offering frame challenges, but I definitely feel like I've seen a lot of those questions closed recently
How do I convince someone else to change their behavior? This sort of question was and is a recurring problem on the Workplace. But we have defined this sort of question off topic.
People are very different from one to another, a tactic with one person or one instance may not work on another p...
When I was younger and not drinking having people who I respected affirm my choice was what I needed to feel comfortable. Now I just need something tasty and non alcoholic to feel comfortable when I'm not drinking.
I think it's about acting natural, not showing discomfort. That can be done, but isn't always good because it makes it that much harder to eventually be taken seriously if the level of discomfort gets too high
From a hosting a mix of non-drinkers and drinkers standpoint, I have input. From a non-drinker's standpoint, I don't.
Sometimes I feel that I have good advice to give on this site and then realize that just because my approach to life hasn't blown up in my face yet, doesn't mean its perfect and effective
@spiralsucculent I think avoiding uncomfortable conflict is a shortcomming on the part of the question askers. Sometimes you need to have an uncomfortable conflict.
@spiralsucculent I used to complain to a friend of mine because I was having a lot of conversations with people on dating apps, but wasn't getting many dates. She pointed out to me that just because I didn't get the result I wanted it didn't mean I was failing. In fact I was actually being quite successful by the fact that people were even talking with me at all. Sometimes the "success" of an interpersonal interaction is just the practice you get in using your skills
I think it is important for the question to define how drunk people get, if everyone just takes 1 beer and then it stops (like a family birthday part) or that people drink more, since the confortable level is different
To reframe it another way if your adult friends respond poorly to you choosing not to drink, then they're not the sort of people that you should be friends with .
The approach I took (which seemed to work, as these sort events have repeated) was to make it clear to the non-drinkers I was inviting how I expected the event to go and that I and others would be drinking, but that I didn't expect them to consume alcohol if they were uninterested
@Sid I suspected as much. Will you be able to have a space at the party that's low-intensity, where non-drinkers could go? That's a complex and tall order, because drunk people want to be in all the spaces, especially if they're in the late stages of consciousness.
If your friend has made an informed decision and you've done your due diligence to make sure that the non drinking guests will have a good time and not feel like second class citizens, there's nothing else you can really do.
@Sid Is the person someone who will do well with a non-drinking-buddy to stick to? I've known people that that would help, like myself in some circumstances.
@TheTinyMan Probably. I mean, you can ask them to stick around with the non-drinking bunch but it sort of alienates people- one that I am not personally a fan of
if youve already talked with them beforehand and they know what theyre getting into, then I think the "being a good host" stuff is really all thats left
@Sid there are far worse vices than being a non drinker, in fact, I was one before I met my ex wife. It was she that drove me to drink, and I am forever in her debt.
@RichardU I've managed to only once get hung over, and that was because I was such an inexperienced drinker that I was mistaken on how much I'd drunk by a factor of about...I think I decided 5?
@TheTinyMan also, the said event is top-secret with only a handful of people knowing its location. We would prefer to keep it that way (for specific reasons) and it's hard to organize such a thing without it being leaked.
@RichardU actually I find it pretty funny, I did a really fun CTF event last summer where there were a bunch of different IoT and Network devices on a LAN that had known exploits, some of them you could get a shell on by loading a certain html page from their helper webserver
@spiralsucculent After my stroke, my first paying job was at a major box store known for it's "easy" button. No lie: I accidentally hacked their systems with a single keystroke. They had a web-based interface, and I hit the backspace key, and got into the system someone else had just used. They didn't do any housekeeping and I had all the data in front of me.
@Peter the truly sad thing about that "easy" system, is that the average manager has to know over 30 passwords, but a simple backspace key gets you in.
@Peter Well, it made my job easy. I hacked NT so I was able to map drives for an entire department in an afternoon. It was supposed to take a few days. I was able to drag shortcuts on my PC to a floppy, then drag and drop the shortcuts to the end user's desktop. No verification of permissions required.