The Awkward Silence

user15026

1:28 AM

@gparyani not every mod has to comment on every thing. And people insisting they do kinda defies the point of a moderator team, being able to share the load and all that.

2

gparyani

3:05 AM

@Ash No, I was not insisting. I asked once, and then clarified after(I thought) she thought I was asking her to take a moderator action. (Though after reading this, I realize it comes across as insistence. Gah, I have trouble thinking of tone at times. This isn't the first time; the first was a long time ago on SO Close Vote Reviewers.)

user15026

Basically, assume the mod team will see things and act on and respond to it in a way that addresses it in the ways it needs addressing. Sometimes that means you get an answer from a different moderator than you want or expect. That's part of sharing the job.

A J

4:17 AM

@D.Hutchinson Believe me. I know.

Introverted Meta Man.

6:17 AM

0

Q: Why don't visitors tell you why they didn't like an answer or question?

I'm trying to figure this site out. So far, I understand that the negative number next to the questions is the number of times someone didn't like the question. Can someone tell me why this happens without any feedback from the person who didn't like the question? Sorry, I've never encountered...

NVZ

6:53 AM

@IntrovertedMetaMan. Visitors? Gah! Residents, we are. Visitors merely upvote.

Where's moderator John anyway? Mysterious... :)

Magisch

7:41 AM

morning

NVZ

8:56 AM

A Man Goes to the Store to Buy Some Milk

►

Extroverted Main Man

9:18 AM

0

Q: How to handle my girlfriend's parents attitude to ask her money?

I'm asking this question on behalf of my girlfriend because she's asking me for help but I'm not sure on how to handle this situation. A little bit of background: My girlfriend's parents moved form south of the country and came here in the north for reasons of work. Her mom is a housewife (Let'...

conflict-aversion family boundaries money

Cashbee

9:33 AM

@Tinkeringbell is your girlfriend male or female? you really don't want to put your foot into it :)

Tinkeringbell

@Cashbee Well, I thought I'd ask before editing on assumptions.

A J

@Tinkeringbell looks up the word "girlfriend" in the Oxford dictionary to see if it means other than girl :P

Tinkeringbell

@AJ I've been around online long enough to know that no gender is set anymore..

A J

@Tinkeringbell Your comment reminded me this one. :P

Tinkeringbell

@AJ See? I always thought it was witches and wizards..

A J

9:43 AM

@Tinkeringbell The +5 comment shares a great spell. ;)

@Tinkeringbell I seriously couldn't recognize you. I blame the change of avatar. :P

Tinkeringbell

9:55 AM

@ExtrovertedMainMan I still think it might be a duplicate of the cash cow (if it were asked by the girlfriend itself), or we're never going to get enough detail on the girlfriends situation?

A J

@Tinkeringbell I already asked him.

Extroverted Main Man

10:10 AM

0

Q: placement of rubbish bin in front of my postbox

so, I live in Germany and just moved into a newly constructed apartment building with 21 renters. In the entrance are the postboxes and we got one right at the beginning at the bottom. So in germany it is normal to have on big postbox where the renters can throw away papers (advertisment, envelop...

conversations conflicts europe neighbors

Cashbee

10:50 AM

in this Q, it asks about "what can I do?" which is fine in my eyes. But it also asks "Should I write the landlord?" Which is obviously a 'should I ..' question. But it's not a usual should-I question because it doesn't ask what is better: X or Y? instead I think it's just an unfortunate usage of should-I when what he actually wants to ask is `"what are my options and how should I approach my landlord about this?".

OP even clarified in comments that "I decided what to do. I don't want that bin in front of my postbox"

Is this not a case where we could edit the Q ourselves into a good fit for IPS, since the situation is clear and the OP just unfortunately used a 'should-I' question where it wasn't even needed?

Tinkeringbell

I gave up on that one, since I don't see how it is about Interpersonal Skills.

"I don't want that bin in front of my postbox" Great. Now decide if you want to contact the landlord or the neighbours. Decide how you want to contact them. Decide why you need help with that, and it will probably end up being a 'write my note for me'

Extroverted Main Man

11:19 AM

0

Q: Giving a solution when I am the least expected one

There is one certain thing that I have observed during official conversations with my colleagues, or sometimes casual conversations with my extended family members. It is usually something like this. A person talks about a certain problem, big or small, it doesn't matter. Sometimes, when I know...

conversations

sphennings

12:21 PM

What's with all the downvotes on meta without anyone providing a alternative answer?

JAD

@sphennings what else would show the irony of that question so well as unexplained downvotes?

sphennings

@JAD It's something I've noticed across other meta questions as well.

JAD

tbh, it's easier to disagree with something than to eloquently put your own opinion in words.

so it doesn't really surprise me

sphennings

There will be a couple answers with a similar thesis, but different writing styles, ideas on what to highlight and level of detail. Each answer will have basically the same number of downvotes. Yet there will be no answer with a contradicting thesis.

It's meta so it's more acceptable to express a dissenting opinion in the comments, provided that it doesn't turn into a argument.

JAD

@sphennings true, but downvoting is nice and anonymous.

btw, I'm not really defending it, but I can see why people do it

sphennings

12:33 PM

It's frustrating to me because while downvotes express dissent they don't share the why of it with the rest of the site. There's no way to know if there are some legitimate concerns that aren't addressed in the answer or is it just some malcontents who don't actually want to participate in meta.

@JAD I agree that the solution isn't to force comments when voting.

It's just that if you find yourself downvoting every answer on a meta question perhaps you should add your own answer.

JAD

oh definitely. Meta is pointless if it's only a few people making posts

sphennings

If you're so worried about your answer being poorly received that you don't want to post it you should really ask yourself why will such an answer garner such a response.

JAD

and even then... a poorly received meta answer isn't the end of the world

sphennings

No arbitrary internet points are at risk.

Mithrandir

1:37 PM

Eeeeek too many kids

I was not prepared to do background work for several thousand kids today

Peter

that's quite a lot of kids :o

Mithrandir

A very large percentage of the 8th graders around the country

It's a country-wide event

JAD

mfw I write a test, expecting it to fail, and then it passes...

Only to uncover a logical bug that wasn't caught by any of the tests

Extroverted Main Man

2:14 PM

0

Q: How to tactfully ask a housemate to leave

Background: Me and my fiancée have been living together for three years, two in our actual residence. Half a year ago we invited a friend of mine, who was coming to the city we live in to study, to live with us. We didn't set a limit on how much time we would be living together. Said friend expec...

europe housemates

Extroverted Main Man

2:50 PM

0

Q: Point out gender assumption in stackoverflow answer?

Autistic spectrum alert - this would probably either not bother some people or be easy to deal with for them. I've just successfully had a question answered at StackOverflow, for which I am extremely grateful. I would not have been able to think of the solution myself as the technology I am work...

politeness online-interaction gender

NVZ

4:03 PM

...

2

Extroverted Main Man

4:34 PM

1

Q: How to convince friends to continue with a group activity given another friend's absence?

A group of my friends often play semi-long term strategy video games together online. These games often span several play sessions a couple of times a week over a few months. Recently, one of my friends, George, commonly involved in this game has taken on a new aspect of his life that makes it ve...

friends online-interaction friend-groups assertiveness

IPS Comment Bot

@Arthas Absolutely not my point. I'm saying you are taking kind of a shitty approach here. But if this is true, how is your first main aspect of the question even an issue? It kind of sounds resolved — Raditz_35 2 mins ago

#11700 Raditz_35 (193 rep) | Q: How to convince friends to continue with a group activity given another friend's absence? (score: 3) | posted 25 minutes ago by Arthas (1199 rep) | edited 10 minutes ago by Arthas (1199 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["offensive"]

Extroverted Main Man

4:52 PM

0

Q: How to politley request house mates keep quiter when there's multiple sources of noise

I live in a large shared house. It has 11 people in total but considering it has 3 entrances and 3 bathrooms (not including master bedroom) I didn’t think this would be a problem. I find it very noisy at very strange hours. For example today I could hear someone’s alarm going off every 5-10 minut...

united-states roommates

Extroverted Main Man

5:26 PM

0

Q: How to resolve an argument about to occur in the workplace?

One of my colleagues is quite a volatile person, and while never usually means harm can quickly end up in a heated argument with others over something very minor as a result. Typically such instances are rare, however I can usually notice these coming as their key "starting point" is when someone...

work-environment conflict-aversion

NVZ

I'm starred? I'm starred!

Crafter0800

I can see you put much effort into that message :^)

Peter

Cake is always welcome :)

NVZ

Oh, hey, guys!

Especially Crafter. It's been months since we've had our last chats/interactions. I think you might've completely forgotten me.

Crafter0800

Definitely not, I remember a good few of you guys from here :D It's also nice and noticeable to see a few new (weclome) faces here.

And yes peter, cake is always welcome

NVZ

5:35 PM

The cake is a lie.

Tinkeringbell

@ExtrovertedMainMan first one to answer that with sources to deescalation techniques gets a bonus from me!

Crafter0800

(speaking of welcome new faces hello Tinkeringbell o/

Tinkeringbell

Did you just call me a new face? XD

Hi!

Crafter0800

Yes - I mean I don't recall you being here when I last was so that counts as new to me xD

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell I mean, you did change your profile picture last week (looks nice by the way)

NVZ

5:39 PM

I got Tinkeringbell started, IIRC. Yes, she's new to Crafter. :)

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Yeah well... Snowy branches aren't a good fit for springtime XD

Mithrandir

@Crafter0800 )

NVZ

What is that, a giraffe? @Tinkeringbell

Tinkeringbell

@Crafter0800 Really? I think I saw you posting stuff once or twice. Must be wrong then ;)

Rainbacon

I hope you're right, but we keep getting winter storms

Tinkeringbell

5:40 PM

@NVZ Nope, definitely a penguin

NVZ

@Tinkeringbell LOL.

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon it's already warm enough here that I'm thinking of switching coats

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell I'm jealous. Tonight we are supposed to get our third winter storm in 10 days

NVZ

"Winter. Is. Here"

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Those can have their perks too. Do you get to stay home?

Rainbacon

5:42 PM

@Tinkeringbell Yeah, I usually work from home when it storms

Mithrandir

Things I Learned Today: 8th graders are loud, especially when numbered in the thousands.

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir I could have told you that...

Crafter0800

I may have posted to odd thing maybe once or twice but I doubt it - I'll go and have a look

Tinkeringbell

Did you have fun at least?

@Rainbacon See? I almost never get to work from home :(

@Crafter0800 Start here interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/775/1599 :P

Not really a post, but definitely evidence we did meet before :P

NVZ

More like "crossed paths"

Crafter0800

5:47 PM

Ooooh - okay, so while I wasn't "gone" I certainly wasn't overly active - odds are I was just here to see how the place was doing :P Still though pleasure to meet you properly :)

NVZ

@Crafter0800 If I may, where have you been?

Sid

is "Culture-shock" a valid interpersonal topic?

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell I don't always like working from home. I often feel less productive there.

Tinkeringbell

@Sid I guess it depends... Can I get more details?

NVZ

@Sid Depends.

It currently sounds like a tag, not a topic.

Sid

5:50 PM

As in, "How to not freak out when you see lots of people consuming alcohol if for your whole life, you have only encountered teetotalers and have been warned not to take alcohol?"

Tinkeringbell

@Sid That sounds more intrapersonal to me...

NVZ

@Sid That's too loong a title. LOL

sphennings

How to not freak out when... is a personal problem not an interpersonal problem.

Crafter0800

@NVZ Places ;) When I joined the site I was actually on vacation, so coming home I had a loooooot of stuff to do and so the site wasn't as really important as the other things I needed to catch up on - plus spending pretty much every day for 2 weeks just here makes it stale for some time - certainly not something I'll be doing again xD

Sid

Okay, got it.

Crafter0800

5:51 PM

On the plus side it taught me how to pace myself and not spend too much time doing the same thing ;P

Sid

@Crafter0800 "Site wasn't really important" - Ha! You have got your priorities all messed up, pal. :P

NVZ

@Sid Not at all.. Site is never as important as managing real life things... unless you work for SE, that is. :P

Crafter0800

^

School > Work > Hobbies :3 How I scale my stuff

Tinkeringbell

@Sid You can of course always talk things through in the chatroom ;)

Sid

@NVZ I wasn't really serious, there.

Crafter0800

5:53 PM

If I need more time for school I'll always try and spend less time working and doing hobbies :P

NVZ

@Sid Dang it! I fail to read jokes.

Sid

@Tinkeringbell you don't earn Fake Imaginary Internet Points for talking in chatroom. :P

NVZ

@Sid You will. I bestow upon thee NVZ points.. for being here in my presence.

NVZ points is very rare.

Sid

@Tinkeringbell Will, "How to ensure others don't freak out...." be a valid inter-personal question? Or will it be too broad?

NVZ

@Sid "Why do you ask Tinkeringbell everything?" I'm jealous.

@Crafter0800 You teach at a school? (If I may)

sphennings

5:56 PM

@Sid That sort of question requires a lot of tailored knowledge of the individuals involved.

Sid

Aw. @NVZ Will, "How to ensure others don't freak out ...." be a valid inter-personal question? Or will it be too broad? There you go! :P

Crafter0800

I am a student at a school xD

Rainbacon

@Sid Questions about getting other people to do something or act a certain way are typically closed as off topic

Crafter0800

well

school = 6th form, or the equivalent of non-compulsory education

Sid

@Crafter0800 Junior College, you mean?

NVZ

5:58 PM

@Crafter0800 Ah, but I have no idea what a 6th form school is. I'm 25, and an engineer.

Crafter0800

uuuuuuh possibly? It's the equivelent of college here

the year before university

Sid

Americans call that High School, I think.

I don't know, though. British schooling System has always confused me.

NVZ

@Sid It's very simple in India, I think. 12 years of school. Whatever then, is college.

Sid

@NVZ Yeah. No mind-bending "A-Levels", "O-levels" and whatnot.

NVZ

I did 4 years of engineering, plus another 2 years to become a Jedi Master. Simple.

Crafter0800

6:02 PM

"O-levels" :^) THey don't exist anymore xD

GCSE's now I think they are

NVZ

@Rainbacon That has always confused me.

@MetaEd Secret eyes peeking in.

Rainbacon

@NVZ The meta discussions seem to favor keeping them open and offering frame challenges, but I definitely feel like I've seen a lot of those questions closed recently

-7

Q: Are questions about 'how to convince another person to change their behavior?' on topic

How do I convince someone else to change their behavior? This sort of question was and is a recurring problem on the Workplace. But we have defined this sort of question off topic. People are very different from one to another, a tactic with one person or one instance may not work on another p...

discussion asking-questions scope

Oops, originally posted the wrong meta question

Tinkeringbell

6:42 PM

@NVZ Because I take stuff serious, unlike some other people?

@Sid What are you afraid will make them freak out?

NVZ

Cool

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