@Magisch It's not really a discussion.... It's more a PSA. But yeah, some of the people I 'discussed' it with ended up trying to convince me I would change my mind. I'm not going to date you if you step in hoping I'll change my mind.
@Tinkeringbell Nah. Martin Luther King Day. Our work gives us a holiday but his school is still open... we may also get a "snow" day tomorrow if the weather happens as expected tonight.
@Catija No, the first step is to realize that you have a problem. Admittance to the problem is necessarily has to be a subsequent step, and it is probably the third, because after you realize the problem, you have to recognize what it is. Perhaps you still have not realize what your problem is. Let me spell it out for you: Y-o-u n-e-e-d f-r-i-e-n-d-s t-o s-h-a-r-e t-h-o-s-e s-w-e-e-t-s! I humbly volunteer to help solve your problem. :-P
So I am pretty sure that I missed a "Don't come to work today, the roads and weather are too bad" communication somehow. I was the fourth car here today, counting the two guys who were treating the parking lot.
@Catija Nah, it's cool, just means I get to work from my desk instead of from home today. :-P Silly being hourly... but I much prefer to work from my desk anyways. ^.^
@Tinkeringbell Come here and you can build a snowman with me!
@TheTinyMan I always hated vegetables growing up, until I realized that it was how they were prepared. I have sensory issues. I can eat vegetables raw, or sautéed, but roasted or over-cooked, and I can't stand them because of the texture.
@TheSnarkKnight That's interesting. Man, I hate how non-obvious it is when you grow up seeing something only in one context, that it can exist in other contexts. :-P I grew up thinking I hated food in general ... because my dad likes his food very bland, so that's how my mom cooked it.
@Catija We also get some sweets with this like Jalebi, given that it can be too spicy sometimes but not always
user15026
I don't like the texture of paneer, but I love different curries. I just don't know all the names because a friend just usually cooks for me. He has a book of 660 curries that we try things from (our first date was him making me curry...the relationship didn't work but the friendship and love for curry sure did)
@AJ Had 5 years in this role, and had done all the things I wanted to with it - now got a more senior role in a bigger organisation. Doing the same sort of thing, but moarerer!
@RoryAlsop my brother, God rest his soul, was an aircraft mechanic. One week to Dubai = $ 10,000 dollars for him. He traveled all over the world for his job.
@AnneDaunted I have severe panic disorder. Travel is one of the things that triggers it. I'd be the richest inhabitant of the psychiatric ward, but unless I could convert the cash to cigarettes, it wouldn't help.
"I disagree. It is great to touch people. If, even in a work context, somebody is not OK with it, it is usually indicative of a serious problem with that person."interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9016/…
@AnneDaunted wow. Just no! I mean, I am pretty tactile, but that's just a no in a work environment. The person who wrote that seems to have a serious problem.
Related to the comment talk, last summit I attended had a nice rule for that: Ofeering hugs, stand at 1 or 2 step of the person you wish to offer a hug, arms open and wait, if the other is ok for it he/she comes, if not that's to be respected ;)
So, this is something that's happened to me far too often. I'll meet a woman who's great, and logically I'll know that being friends with her would be the best option, but then there's that part of my brain that starts constantly telling me I'm in love and that I have to win her heart.
In the ...
@Tensibai thanks for that. I was looking at examples to help me draft the B-Sides Scotland code of conduct (we didn't have one last year, and thankfully didn't need one, but it's better to be prepared)
the problem as far as I can see is that these people have never seen me "snap" because I got it under control on my own in school, and they don't believe it's serious no matter how I tell them
It's nice of them to give that long charging wire. I have moved the table near my bed and plugged the charger into my laptop. Maybe I should lay down and check it after an hour.
@Magisch you said, "I suspect This seems to be a fairly common scenario (primarily for women). is also adding fuel to the fire of a sexist / not sexist debate in the comments and some answers"
I'd have to agree that part of the question is problematic ...
It seems to unfairly target all men
moreover, in the comments (now moved to chat) one user seems to unfairly target allAmerican men, asking whether it's "typical" in the United States
@Magisch we have people like that as well. A few huggers here. I can't stand being touched (sensory issues due to the autism) but I don't know what to say either.
at least personally, in my daily interactions with women, for, I dunno, a couple decades, I guess? I would say that that request, "smile for me", is pretty rare - although it does happen. but, almost always from black men. I can't recall a non-black man doing that sort of thing. same goes with catcalling women, too.
so I feel in the question, the OP should describe the men, if they have typical characteristics, in fairness to other men who don't do that type of stuff, e.g. for men who don't request smiles or catcall women.
@D.Hutchinson When I was young, and working on a road crew, I'd occasionally get whistled at. I was built like Hercules at the time. These days, I'm still built like a god, but now it's Buddha
@D.Hutchinson yeah, I'm getting tired of the misandry as well.
@apaul it probably won't make it better, but the men who don't say that stuff and have to read about it seemingly target all men have to deal with such unfair hostility ... I don't claim to have a solution either...
@Tinkeringbell I avoid sugar-free things at all costs. The artificial sweeteners wreak such havoc on my digestive system that I'd rather deal with the sugar spike.
@TheSnarkKnight I've never been that attached to soda, only thing I ever drank very much of was lemonade... I only started drinking cola because so many alcoholic things can be mixed with it :P
@TheSnarkKnight plain water tastes different across the country here, if you can believe it. I always take bottled water with me when I go to the west, can't stand the tap water there...
@Tinkeringbell Yeah - I know the feeling. Here, the tap water for my city is bottled up and sold across the country, but I can't stand the tap water other cities.
Asking whether something is rude or not is currently being discussed on meta. So far, it looks like we're going to close those as opinion based. So take a deep look into yourself and try to see what problem you're trying to solve, and ask about that instead of whether it's rude to do so
Yeah ... sometimes ... I think I get back stares ... either stares in disappointment or stares like "geez ... that's ... rude of him ... we consider him a brother" - but nothing more than a momentary stare ...
@D.Hutchinson According to Islamic teachings, we are all brothers and sisters in humanity (regardless of our varying faiths), considering that we're all children of Adam and Eve.
@Tinkeringbell i really don't see why such questions should be POB. If the question is asking about a specific culture or tradition, then users from that area of expertise shall answer, and others better skip that question. My 2c.
@TheSnarkKnight "is it rude?" can have either a yes or a no, with "and here's why". "What is a proper response?" would be slightly more POB than the yes/no version of it.
@Catija In my place we say, if you can't share it, don't show it. :P
@NVZ for context, everything else in between the "hi, brother" and "bye, brother" is conversation that I am used to - things about food, school, etc. It's just that ... I'm much more comfortable with saying less meaningful greetings ... "like, hey dude" or simply, "hey". It's not the whole conversation that I need help with.
From Catija's answer there: 'or focus on whether there's any (specific) cultural etiquette in a situation.' --> So, if there really is a specific cultural etiquette here (which there very well may be), focus on that, instead of whether it is rude?
Like suggested here: Don't ask whether it's rude to wear a sari to a wedding as a westerner, ask "As an American attending an Indian wedding in India, what is the etiquette regarding wearing a sari as a non-Indian? [question body explains in more detail]"
So, this is something that's happened to me far too often. I'll meet a woman who's great, and logically I'll know that being friends with her would be the best option, but then there's that part of my brain that starts constantly telling me I'm in love and that I have to win her heart.
In the ...
