The Awkward Silence

Jarko Dubbeldam

8:00 AM

well, depending on the extent of the harassment, police might end up being an option

Catija

@ArtOfCode Really? But it's not run by the government or something?

ArtOfCode

@Tinkeringbell Aye. I've said as much, but I'm not gonna force that issue

Tinkeringbell

Good :)

ArtOfCode

@Catija Nope, it's an academy... basically the in-between of public, government-run schools and full private schools

Tinkeringbell

Question, do your friend"s parents know?

ArtOfCode

8:01 AM

so they get their own say on policy and curriculum and all

Catija

@ArtOfCode Hmmm.... But there should still be some sort of regulation about it... A school can't just decide that sexual harassment is A-OK!

ArtOfCode

@Tinkeringbell dad wandered off when she was young. Her mum won't listen for long enough to realise it's actually serious.

Catija

@ArtOfCode No, the guys' parents... particularly the moms.

ArtOfCode

@Catija sure, I'm sure there must be a policy, it's just internal so I can't find it

@Catija heh, if only I had contact info for them

so I'm kinda running out of ideas

Catija

What does she say?

You're really great to do this for her but some things she has to do for herself... like not being around people who see what these guys are doing and are OK with it.

ArtOfCode

8:05 AM

@Catija she's not having much fun... she thinks the boys have worked out that she reported it (as you say, probably not hard), and they half-stopped for a day and then went back to it

Catija

@ArtOfCode She needs to keep going up the ladder... find a sympathetic ear on the inside. Someone willing to fight for her...

ArtOfCode

@Catija distance is kinda useful for that... university is 100 miles away, so I physically can't do anything that involves being there

Catija

Doesn't she have any teachers she trusts... any adults who may have seen what these guys are doing? You haven't been very specific about what they're doing... how serious is it?

apaul

@ArtOfCode it's just travel time. You'll feel better for doing it. Trust me.

Catija

100 miles in the UK takes like four hours.

ArtOfCode

8:08 AM

@Catija nah, I can do the whole lot in 2h30 on a train

apaul

@Catija one of those things you remember for a lifetime. Totally worth it.

Catija

@ArtOfCode I was thinking driving. And it was a joke... It took us an absurdly long time to get from Bury to Sherwood.

ArtOfCode

@Catija there's a guy who's supposedly pastoral care, but he's one of the problem staff in this case. She trusts him with other things, but not this time

Catija

No female staff?

ArtOfCode

what they're doing... iirc random sexual comments and unwanted hugs

@Catija the Key Stage co-ordinator is female, she's the woman I emailed, but I dunno if she actually had much involvement beyond forwarding an email

apaul

8:10 AM

A few sharp elbows. Just sayin.

ArtOfCode

Kinda why I'm not too keen to go on to the headteacher - also male, will probably side with the associate head

Tinkeringbell

@apaul nerve pinches keep people away nicely too :)

@ArtOfCode Just because he's male? Or are there other indications as well? I've had some amazing male teachers :)

Did a great job of nipping such things in the bud.

Catija

Do you know these school leads?

ArtOfCode

@apaul there's only so much a 5'4" 100lbs girl can do against two 5'10" 160lbs boys

apaul

@Tinkeringbell hobbling them leaves an important sense memory.

ArtOfCode

8:13 AM

@Tinkeringbell well the impression I got of him from my time there was that he was entirely useless for anything but being trotted out for speeches... wherein he said "each and every one of you" far too much like he got it from the Headteachers' Manual, page 137.

@Catija the staff? Some of 'em, yeah

apaul

@ArtOfCode That's were you can be a good friend ;)

Mithrandir

If it's actual sexual harassment... the police?

ArtOfCode

@Mithrandir police will refer it back to the school

which is dumb

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Mithrandir unwanted hugging doesn't sound like something the police will really care about :/

Catija

I don't know how seriously the police are going to take unwanted hugs... or sexual comments.

ArtOfCode

8:16 AM

if they're over ACR but under 18 then the police only step in if it's real serious

and yeah, Catija's right, they'll have "better things to do"

Mithrandir

@ArtOfCode If the school gets a notice from the police, they won't take it seriously?

apaul

Like I said earlier today... Some things are self teaching. These are the best things.

Mithrandir

@Catija :/

ArtOfCode

@Mithrandir I wouldn't rely on it

Jarko Dubbeldam

probably making a big fuss about it online about the school ignoring complaints would be more impactful

Catija

8:17 AM

It's shitty... that doesn't make it wrong. I've been thinking about talking to the press but that seems like an American thing and it may not be enough for them, either.

ArtOfCode

@JarkoDubbeldam I wondered... but their social media channels are all locked down and dead

Catija

If she's afraid to come forward about it to the school, I don't know that she'll want to come out in the open completely?

ArtOfCode

and they've done enough to avoid the "ignoring complaints" angle, so I'd have to sell "insufficient response"

@Catija aye

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Catija hmm

ArtOfCode

She's got a whole bunch of mental health issues - I literally have a notebook to keep track of what's going on - so that don't make reporting things easy

Catija

8:19 AM

Do none of her shared friends want to help her? All she needs is one other person who's willing to call them on their shit when they're together...

ArtOfCode

@Catija That's a potential angle... there's one guy who might help

apaul

@ArtOfCode once upon a time I knew a guy who thought it was ok to hit girls. Now he thinks of me every time he takes a deep breath

Catija

What kind of mental health issues... the sort of thing that would cast doubts on her honesty?

Not to you, obviously... to someone in charge...

apaul

I don't feel bad...

ArtOfCode

@Catija No, nothing like that. Mostly various anxiety issues.

throw in a side of MDD, add a garnish of low-level suspected bipolar disorder

Catija

8:21 AM

Yeah, that sounds difficult for her. I think go with the guy friend avenue if possible... and anyone willing to send an email to the staff will help...

ArtOfCode

No reason that she shouldn't be believed if she did report things, but she has real trouble doing that

Mithrandir

calling all of Art's muscular friends

Catija

If they get one email, they can "lose" it... if they get a dozen, they have to pay attention.

ArtOfCode

the fact that they ignored it completely when she did knocked it back too

@Mithrandir ha

Catija

That's so sad. That culture of non-belief or victim blaming.

ArtOfCode

8:23 AM

she's picking up the staff codes of the people who told her she can't be anonymous today, and talking to them about why

mainly so that I can send 'em another rocket if when they're just being lazy

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How do appreciate people's creations that take very little effort

I find that I generally appreciate people's creations the more effort I think was required. To give hopefully an easy to understand example, if someone offers me a drink of tap water I would appreciate their hospitality where as if they offered me a piece of homemade pie I'd appreciate both the h...

Catija

I wish I had something better to offer... but I don't know anything about the UK rules on that sort of thing... if I think of anything, I'll let you know.

Tinkeringbell

@ExtrovertedMainMan reads intrapersonal instead of interpersonal?

ArtOfCode

@Catija I guess we just see what happens... sucks but there may not be much I can do short of marching up there and biffing some teachers on the nose

Catija

@ArtOfCode Well, Seems like doing so will make at least one person happy... :/

Extroverted Main Man

8:56 AM

0

Q: How to nicely remind someone to reply to important message

I have an appointment in another town, I asked a friend if i could stay the night at my friends place through a text message. I would like a response from this person so if I cannot I can buy a hotel room. Normally asking this person for this favor, would not be a problem. I know for some people...

friends texting

Tinkeringbell

@ArtOfCode Preferably, she needs to learn to stand up for herself... but anxieties aren't going to be helpful on that... :/ You mentioned there's not much a 100 lbs girl can do against 2 160 lbs guys, but I believe there is a lot a trained 100 lbs girl can do against 2 untrained and unexpecting 160 lbs guys...

ArtOfCode

@Tinkeringbell aye

training takes some while, though

Tinkeringbell

@ArtOfCode Yeah.... that's a problem too... better to be trained before shit happens than starting when it's already happening :/

ArtOfCode

@Tinkeringbell aye

Tinkeringbell

But if you can, do encourage her to learn for herself instead of solving everything for her ;)

ArtOfCode

9:03 AM

Oh, totally. I don't want her to end up being reliant on me to solve things just because I can

sure I can solve your issues but at some point you're gonna need to be able to do that for yourself

Tinkeringbell

9:15 AM

@ArtOfCode Good :) I hope things get better soon!

Keep us posted?

Happy Blue Monday everyone! :D

ArtOfCode

@Tinkeringbell will do... suspect I'll be sending another angry email later on :P

Ugh it's miserable outside

no degrees and sleet

and Force 7 winds

Tinkeringbell

@ArtOfCode The winds would be nice if there wasn't sleet :)

It's overcast here, but no rain... and 5 degrees.

ArtOfCode

ouch, Storm 10 in the Channel

Tinkeringbell

@ArtOfCode Is it coming our way? :P I'd like a good storm :D

Nope :( They're predicting a 6 for Thursday, but that's as bad as it's going to get :(

ArtOfCode

Mithrandir

9:29 AM

looks like your avatar

Gypsy Spellweaver

Pretty colors :D

Tinkeringbell

The Netherlands isn't pink enough ;)

Jarko Dubbeldam

those are wind speeds?

ArtOfCode

Potential Hurricane 12 for Wight/Dover/Thames early Thursday

@JarkoDubbeldam yup

Jarko Dubbeldam

hmm our forecast for thursday was only 6 :o

Gypsy Spellweaver

9:32 AM

Most of it is around 30, some 35. Tight isobars too. Yummy.

Being UK-based, are those speeds in KPH or MPH?

ArtOfCode

@JarkoDubbeldam Thursday 0300 map looks slightly more promising for you

Jarko Dubbeldam

it's a scale

ArtOfCode

@GypsySpellweaver neither :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

oh boy

ArtOfCode

proper units

knots

Jarko Dubbeldam

9:34 AM

Beaufort scale

The Beaufort scale is an empirical measure that relates wind speed to observed conditions at sea or on land. Its full name is the Beaufort wind force scale. == History == The scale was devised in 1805 by Irish-born Francis Beaufort (later Rear Admiral Sir Francis Beaufort), a Royal Navy officer, while serving on HMS Woolwich. The scale that carries Beaufort's name had a long and complex evolution from the previous work of others (including Daniel Defoe the century before) to when Beaufort was Hydrographer of the Navy in the 1830s when it was adopted officially and first used during the voyage...

ArtOfCode

and forces, yeah

Liverpool's going to take a bashing Wednesday night/Thursday morning then

Gypsy Spellweaver

my eyes are old, but I see a bundle of 40's in the middle of that one.

ArtOfCode

@GypsySpellweaver the actual numbers on those maps are millibars - pressure

the colors are the wind speeds

Jarko Dubbeldam

gotta love myself a nice western storm

ArtOfCode

white is Force 0, dark purple is Hurricane 12

Gypsy Spellweaver

9:37 AM

The "F" flags are wind speeds. Long arms are 10 short arms are 5, the "staff" shows the direction of the wind.

Tinkeringbell

@JarkoDubbeldam Yeah :) But the most recent one was overrated :P

ArtOfCode

@GypsySpellweaver bah, why did I not notice that

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell well, it was hype because the stormvloedkering was closed

Gypsy Spellweaver

My old met classes kicking in.

Jarko Dubbeldam

yeah, those flags are probably in knots

that would correspond with about 8-9 bft

ArtOfCode

9:40 AM

@JarkoDubbeldam yeah, they are

currently 28 gusting 35, Force 7 gusting Gale 9

quite literally, "blowing a gale"

Jarko Dubbeldam

as if someone was playing with some boomerang

btw, where did you get those maps?

Tinkeringbell

@JarkoDubbeldam It was hyped because they closed all 5, but the Maeslantkering was only closed because they wanted to try if it still worked after 7 years... and the Hartelkering only closed because it's connected to the closing of the Maeslantkering... we had about 30 cm of sea level left...

ArtOfCode

@JarkoDubbeldam my uber-secret classified-information sources ;)

also known as windguru.cz

Jarko Dubbeldam

ty :)

@Tinkeringbell oh I know, but still

D.Hutchinson

wow ... so much ... weather today!

I <3 weather :)

my favorite stuffs in the world

Gypsy Spellweaver

9:44 AM

I don't know the scale for your territory there, but it looks to be a real tight pattern of isobars. I see ~46 millibars from center to bottom of frame.

Tinkeringbell

@JarkoDubbeldam Needless to say, we ignored all warnings and went to the beach ;)

@GypsySpellweaver I believe that's why it's windy ;)

Jarko Dubbeldam

hmm, map also shows a biiiig storm east of japan on thrusday

ArtOfCode

@GypsySpellweaver the "height" of the UK is almost exactly 1000km

600mi

D.Hutchinson

I love wind, especially horizontal, shear flow wind near sea level. In fact, that's where and how albatrosses use the wind to soar dynamically for hours :)

Gypsy Spellweaver

so Edinburg to Brighton is ~700km?

D.Hutchinson

9:49 AM

It's a holiday here in the United States of America:

nbcnews.com/news/nbcblk/…

Martin Luther King Day!

Tinkeringbell

@GypsySpellweaver That would still be a bigger distance than getting from the North to the South of the Netherlands ;)

ArtOfCode

@GypsySpellweaver 610km

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell this just in, as it appears, there are countries bigger than the Netherlands

;)

who would've thunk

Tinkeringbell

@JarkoDubbeldam We'll beat them on personality then :P

I know, it just sounds so weird if you realize that North-South is about 300 km max here...

Not to mention east-west

Jarko Dubbeldam

you could cross the country on bike in a day

n-s might take a bit of training

D.Hutchinson

9:54 AM

I'm watching the weather channel on my tv right now :)

Jarko Dubbeldam

but w-e should be doable

Tinkeringbell

@JarkoDubbeldam It is, I did that once: Zwolle-Amsterdam

Without training and at a very leisurely pace

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell nice, it's not quite edge to edge

but getting there :p

furthest I have done in a day is Pijnacker - Heemstede

Tinkeringbell

That's a nice distance too.... Did you go and back, or just a one-way ride?

Jarko Dubbeldam

went back two weeks later

we went there for summer vacation

and basically said F it, let's do it on bike

Tinkeringbell

9:59 AM

@JarkoDubbeldam Which can be just as much fun :)

Jarko Dubbeldam

oh oop

I said heemstede, I meant Heemskerk

stop de tijd, ik zet 2 jokers in

Tinkeringbell

My brother and parents keep nagging me to join them on their holiday this summer... they want to go to Belgium...

@JarkoDubbeldam hahaha ;)

Lemme google the distance you cycled then ;)

Jarko Dubbeldam

79km

ArtOfCode

Heh, Greenwich pips are late

Tinkeringbell

You never guess? I googled heemskerk instead of heemstede :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

10:01 AM

xd

Tinkeringbell

So, I actually had the correct distance already :D

D.Hutchinson

:)

that's funny

Tinkeringbell

Google autosearch saved you today @JarkoDubbeldam :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

hmm

D.Hutchinson

hmm ...

@GypsySpellweaver do you celebrate MLK day?

Jarko Dubbeldam

10:04 AM

if I have foo(int a, out int b){}, is it possible to call it as foo(bar, out bar) if I want to store the out result in bar again?

Gypsy Spellweaver

As much as any ot the other new holidays

Jarko Dubbeldam

(probably wrong chat for that) :p

Tinkeringbell

@JarkoDubbeldam What language are you gramming in?

D.Hutchinson

I see

Jarko Dubbeldam

C#

Tinkeringbell

10:05 AM

Oh I don't speak that... :(

D.Hutchinson

Happy MLK day, @GypsySpellweaver :)

Jarko Dubbeldam

it's similar to java, but idk if java has the out keyword

Tinkeringbell

@JarkoDubbeldam Not that I know of...

Jarko Dubbeldam

hmm

Tinkeringbell

Have you tried google? SO?

Jarko Dubbeldam

10:06 AM

it's pretty nice. Basically call by reference, allowing you to provide a variable to store a result in.

Tinkeringbell

so a goes in, and whatever comes out is stored in b?

Jarko Dubbeldam

And the compiler will actually freak out for you if you forget to assign something to that variable

Tinkeringbell

Ah, so basically a good way to avoid nullpointers?

ArtOfCode

oh huh, the radio receiver I'm using is based in the Netherlands

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell yep. plus it makes it explicit that the argument to the method is a mean of output

contrary to ref, which might provide input as well

D.Hutchinson

10:08 AM

interesting stuff :)

I'm learning a lot from you guys :)

I'm a new coder, too, so this is perfect ...

ArtOfCode

you can just use it like a regular variable, but it persists after the method is out of scope

D.Hutchinson

I see ...

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell so if I were to do foo(out int a){ int b = a;} the compiler will also complain, because a doesn't have a value.

D.Hutchinson

thanks @ArtOfCode :)

Jarko Dubbeldam

@JarkoDubbeldam but I guess I'll turn this into foo(ref int a){}

Tinkeringbell

10:11 AM

@ArtOfCode Be careful, it can permanently damage your ears...

ArtOfCode

@Tinkeringbell huh?

Jarko Dubbeldam

@ArtOfCode horrendous dutch music

ArtOfCode

oh :P

Tinkeringbell

@ArtOfCode ^ That

ArtOfCode

but that's not what I've got it tuned to, fortunately :P

well actually it's muted right now, but eh

Tinkeringbell

10:13 AM

@ArtOfCode Good! Leave it that way :)

D.Hutchinson

I love Dutch music :)

it's really awesome ...

ArtOfCode

@Tinkeringbell I doubt the Dutch music comes with shipping forecasts, so... yep

D.Hutchinson

haha that's so funny

Well, off to bed, g'nite everyone. Thank you for everything; thanks for all that you do and all that you are, on the IPS Stack Exchange :)

Gypsy Spellweaver

Night.

Tinkeringbell

10:26 AM

Sleep well :)

Gypsy Spellweaver

10:46 AM

The Lady has finally gone to sleep, so I best be getting some myself while I can. Y'all have a nice party.

Tinkeringbell

@GypsySpellweaver hah, I think the party is mostly done anyways, sleep well!

Gypsy Spellweaver

@Tinkeringbell I don't know. There could be a storm brewing. :D

Tinkeringbell

@GypsySpellweaver Like I said, I like storms ;) But not on SE ;)

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Which salutation should I use in email, in which not the owner of the email replies?

I am sending my homework assignment via email to a person A, but the response email with a correction always comes from different person B and different email. So I am not sure which salutation should I use. If I keep addressing email to person A, then, in a sense, I am ignoring person B. ...

email

Termatinator

@D.Hutchinson there are a lot of dutch here, like me

Tinkeringbell

11:02 AM

@Termatinator That doesn't make Dutch music good :P

Termatinator

@Tinkeringbell nope, I hate it too

I'm not really the music type, but most of the music that I like comes from the USA and Canada

@ExtrovertedMainMan maybe a polite neutral salutation?

Tinkeringbell

@Termatinator Hah, if it's just homework, I've always gone with 'there you are'.

nothing more or less :P

Termatinator

I guess it depends on how he speaks to them, does he know them well?

Tinkeringbell

@Termatinator Probably a lot yes...

Termatinator

just read it, he knows person A well, but he doesn't know person B personally, maybe a reply that is not casual and not too polite?

Tinkeringbell

11:16 AM

@JarkoDubbeldam nu.nl/binnenland/5086877/… Seems like we might get that storm after all!

Termatinator

SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Tinkeringbell

@Termatinator The unfun kind! :P

Termatinator

Oh, wait, it isn't the good snow. :(

I hope we get some good snow soon

Tinkeringbell

@Termatinator I'd love some more too, we had something between 30 and 40 cm that last time

@NVZ, are you going to visit the new HEMA in Dubai? (shop)

Termatinator

@Tinkeringbell yes, it was fun while it lasted

there is a tiny chance that there might be a mini ice age coming soon

Tinkeringbell

11:24 AM

@Termatinator So we're going to have an Elfstedentocht? :D

Termatinator

if the mini ice age comes, I said that there is a chance

Tinkeringbell

@Termatinator Oh come one, you know Dutch people ;) Whenever someone mentions a chance there will be a period of frost, they mention Elfstedentocht :P

I would like a mini ice age

Termatinator

dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-5215575/…

Tinkeringbell

@Termatinator Looks promising :)

NVZ

@Tinkeringbell what is HEMA?

Termatinator

11:29 AM

@Tinkeringbell did you ever try skiing

Tinkeringbell

@NVZ A very Dutch store. They just opened their first store outside of the European Union, and it's in Dubai

NVZ

@Tinkeringbell Not found on Google, I think.

Tinkeringbell

Oh wait, I misread the article... they will be opening their first stores in Dubai this year...

nu.nl/economie/5086949/…

Maybe you can translate that page?

NVZ

@Tinkeringbell Google is my friend. She translates things for me, and asks nothing but my soul in return. She's nice... and very possessive.

Termatinator

dutch, such a weird language

Tinkeringbell

11:34 AM

@NVZ Hahaha ;) Well, do try and visit it sometimes when they have opened their stores. I like them :)

Jarko Dubbeldam

11:49 AM

@NVZ The Hollandse Eenheidsprijzen Maatschappij Amsterdam. duh

Tinkeringbell

Eenheidsprijzen huh? :P I know eenheidsworst and where that came from, never heard that term before

NVZ

@JarkoDubbeldam How in the world do you come up with such words! :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

> However, she has warned her model could not be used as proof of a mini ice age - in part because of global warming.

and yet we put it in all caps in the title

Tinkeringbell

@JarkoDubbeldam DON'T bash our hopes...

NVZ

@Tinkeringbell I don't speak Dutch, but I bet my pen can write Dutch.

Tinkeringbell

11:51 AM

I read that and chose to ignore it ;)

@NVZ I have this really strange blue ink pen... it can write red

Jarko Dubbeldam

HEMA (store)

HEMA (Dutch pronunciation: [ɦeːmaː]; originally an acronym for Hollandsche Eenheidsprijzen Maatschappij Amsterdam, "Hollandic Standard Prices Company Amsterdam") is originally a Dutch discount retail chain that started life as a dimestore. Hema has been owned by the British investment firm Lion Capital LLP since 2007. The chain is characterized by relatively low pricing of generic housewares, which are mostly made by and for the chain itself, often with original design. == History == The first HEMA opened in Amsterdam on 4 November 1926, set up by the owners of the luxury department store...

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell I used to have a blue pen. It also did red and pencil.

Tinkeringbell

@JarkoDubbeldam I was looking at the Dutch one :) It has a picture of the HEMA in Zwolle ;)

@Mithrandir Yup, that's the joke ;)

Jarko Dubbeldam

> Originally, as a price-point retailer at prime locations in town centers, goods were sold using standard prices (hence its name), with everything having a standard price of 10, 25 or 50 cents, and later also 75 and 100 cents.

NVZ

this is the only Hema Indians love. :P google.com/search?q=hema+malini

Tinkeringbell

11:58 AM

@NVZ Just wait, we'll come and take over :P

Magisch

12:14 PM

Interesting answer here: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/9153/2347

Broadly speaking, I've been able to avoid touching in public mostly. I wonder how normal it is though

Mithrandir

I try to avoid contact as well, although not to that extent.

Tinkeringbell

I tend to severely dislike it as well, and I do avoid it to. It also means I give people space when queueing up for example.

Author is right, you can't expect everybody to do so, but it's not a good idea to go diagnosing people ;)

Mithrandir

flags as NaA

Termatinator

@JarkoDubbeldam that's why I said that there is a tiny chance

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Good call. I've left a comment I'm proud of :P interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9016/…

Mithrandir

12:21 PM

..I really need to hit 2k here so I can see deleted posts

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Yeah, nothing more annoying than not seeing the crap :P

What do you wanna know?

Mithrandir

close-pls | Too Broad / Primarily Opinion Based / Unclear What You're Asking | Which salutation should I use in email, in which not the owner of the email replies?

Magisch

@ArtOfCode FWIW from what I read from this the best perspective might be to move schools

Not sure how british academys differ from german ones but if this was here chances are depending on how connected the parents of the guys are that this could backfire and/or land her in a mental institution

possibly sued for damages if the accusations go public, too

ArtOfCode

@Magisch that kinda ain't an option

@Magisch Wat. Yeah, that wouldn't happen

Magisch

Semiprivate schools here don't like this

Got so far that a academy near me got closed down couple of years ago because they were colluding with staff when some students got raped to frame them as mentally ill and have them sectioned

ArtOfCode

12:33 PM

...yeah, I think we have different definitions of "academies"

Magisch

Just some perspective. Accusations can and frequently do backfire

And sometimes rich parents will hire a host of lawyers to make the victim's life hell

ArtOfCode

I mean yeah it's an academy but it's still technically a state school

nobody's parents are that rich

more to the point there's no legal case in the slightest

Magisch

I wonder though what you can end up doing. Girls with mental health issues not being taken seriously in these situations is painfully common

Might be they believe "maybe she's embelleshing it" and they only reacted at all because you made a stink

Also, is this a religious academy (like sponsored by a church)?

Tinkeringbell

12:57 PM

What to do with this one? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9103/… The question doesn't seem unreasonable or pob, but it's generating a nice storm of comments :/

Mithrandir

everyone flag the last 6 comments ;)

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell Thats because that is a hot button issue

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch Yeah, I'm not very satisfied with the answers it's getting either, more opinions and funny remarks than actual answers as to what you can do to defuse such a situation AND show your disgust

Magisch

I think this question might be a bad fit

I suspect This seems to be a fairly common scenario (primarily for women). is also adding fuel to the fire of a sexist / not sexist debate in the comments and some answers

Tinkeringbell

True... why is it still there then! :P It's not like gender has anything to do with the situation, it's weird when people demand a smile nonetheless.

Magisch

1:10 PM

@Tinkeringbell tbh gender is one of the issues here

I've never heard of a man being told to smile nor have I been myself

but women get to hear it a lot, even in my office. Mostly by the bosses

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch That's sexist! :P

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell it is

Tinkeringbell

starts to organise a riot at your office

I've never been bothered much by it, but then again I've never noticed people telling only women.

Magisch

my bosses are pretty open with their attitudes on gender but they own the company so you have to duck and work around it

Tinkeringbell

Oh dear, oh dear oh dear ohdear.....

Magisch

1:14 PM

@Tinkeringbell There's a reason they only hire "girls they enjoy looking at" to work in the front

They don't try to be subtle about it either

Tinkeringbell

I just got an e-mail from work: we're getting new, more environmentally friendly disposable coffee cups....With inspirational quotes!

The examples in the picture are showing 'we are a couple/I belong to you/hold me/stay with me please

I'm going to #metoo! :P

Rory Alsop

@ArtOfCode I'm not convinced we're going to get fun weather here. Forecast does say snow, ice and storm force winds, but it's currently blue skies, sunshine and a force 5 here in Edinburgh. I'm holding out hope we'll get snow before our snowman finally vanishes..

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell emotional attachment coffee cups

interesting, question is why not go completly environmentally friendly and get a mug

Rory Alsop

@Magisch that's what one of my clients did - provided everyone with a coffee mug and a water bottle. They had no disposable cups on any of their uk sites

Even contractors got one the day they started

Magisch

everyone here has a mug

if only because nobody wants to bother buying disposable cups

Tinkeringbell

1:26 PM

@Magisch According to the e-mail:

> Research is contradicting each other on what's more environmentally friendly, a mug or disposable cup.

> We advise using both a mug and disposable cup multiple times a day

The way it's written in Dutch they sound like they really want you to drink at least 6 cups of coffee a day, 3 from a paper cup and 3 from a mug ;)

I always use my own mug, because it holds twice as much coffee in one go as the paper cups ;)

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell How?

You buy a mug like once every couple years

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch It's probably the fact that they use a dishwasher here

And some people only use their mug once as well, so that they have to run 2 or 3 loads sometimes a day

(on really busy days)

Catija

@Tinkeringbell Depends... some dishwashers are actually more water efficient than handwashing...

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell I drink 6-7 mugs of tea a day

And then I wash my mug before going home

Can't imagine plastic cups being more environmentally friendly then that

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch Not plastic, paper... But yeah, I can't really either :/

Jarko Dubbeldam

1:44 PM

@Catija good morning, feeling better about the cake yet? :P

Catija

Eh... I put the icing on, tried to move it and it broke more.

Jarko Dubbeldam

:(

The Snark Knight

@Magisch we like to use plastic cups because they can be recycled, which saves water and the environmental damage caused by the soap used to clean the mugs.

Tinkeringbell

Btw, I saw a great recipe lately! @Catija, I want a picture of Ben eating one of these ;) (Great use to scare the crap out of your husband too!):

I am so gonna trick my mom into using one in the dishwasher :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

uh, bad idea to teach that inedible things might be edible

Catija

1:54 PM

Um... yeah, I don't want him to even get the idea that those are edible...

Tinkeringbell

@Catija Oh yeah... minor setback :/ That's why I should never get a parenting license

Jarko Dubbeldam

plus, gelatin and water, sounds... tasty?

Magisch

@TheSnarkKnight idk who uses soap to clean mugs

I drink tea and sometimes coffee from my mug, those leave nothing in stains that clean cold water can't scrub

@Tinkeringbell Not becoming a parent is pretty easy

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch I know, I'm working very hard on it ;)

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to respond to a brother with the basic attitude: "You are right and I have my peace"?

Well, the title says it all. My brother is 15 years old, I just became 13. We often have some issues in daily life. All just small things, like discussing about the shortest way to go somewhere when we're eating. There are many situations where he just says "Ok, you're right." and just walks ...

conversations family

Jarko Dubbeldam

1:57 PM

@Magisch or unbecoming

Tinkeringbell

But really, I don't think. I just see the fun and my kid would end up horribly raised :/

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell I've been successful at not being a parent for 23 years, almost effortless :D

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch For me it's a bit more work, my parents keep trying to set me up with a boyfriend :/ I really need to move out.

The Snark Knight

@Magisch I love being a parent, it's my ex wife I can't stand

Jarko Dubbeldam

If anyone calls you on any weird detail, just say it's from the Jedi Prince book series, which contains so much random incongruous stuff that even most Expanded Universe/Legends fans collectively agreed to forget about it decades ago.

Magisch

1:59 PM

@Tinkeringbell You can have a boyfriend and not be a parent still. But that is shitty

The Snark Knight

@Tinkeringbell I didn't become a parent until I was 39... don't slam the door shut just yet

Magisch

life choices are your own to make

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