The Awkward Silence

Em C

12:29 AM

@Catija ok! I might try to write one, then :)

Catija

@EmC I look forward to it!

Introverted Meta Man.

0

Q: Please undelete or explain how to improve my answer to undelete

As expected, my recently-accepted-and-highly-downvoted 4-month-old answer got deleted. Now the delete-voters can help me by explaining the reasons for deleting this answer after it was accepted by OP. Meta.SE says that poor answers need only be downvoted, and only very low quality posts need to ...

D.Hutchinson

2:08 AM

wabbits

I want a golden retriever puppy, @Tinkeringbell

Tinkeringbell

6:09 AM

@D.Hutchinson those are even harder to raise than kids...

Extroverted Main Man

7:23 AM

1

Q: How do I get back in touch with my human side?

When I was younger, my mother accused me of being impersonal, inhuman. I'm starting to think she was right. I evaluate every decision logically, I choose relationships logically, I avoid arguments because I know while feeling angry and lashing out might feel good in the moment, it just pushes peo...

united-states relationships approach

Mithrandir

7:59 AM

@ExtrovertedMainMan Wat.

Jarko Dubbeldam

@ExtrovertedMainMan Most people tend to do that by using too thin toiletpaper

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir... yup...

interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/2297/… Can any of you take a look at this answer, it's improved

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell (tip - pings don't work with an ellipses after 'em, @Tinkeringbell...)

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Ah well, you found it :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

looks good to me

I can't undelete though

Tinkeringbell

8:07 AM

@JarkoDubbeldam Ah well, just bringing it to your attention ;)

A J

8:23 AM

@Tinkeringbell Ok. Done.

Tinkeringbell

8:43 AM

@AJ Good :D

Tinkeringbell

9:43 AM

@EnglishStudent I undeleted your answer... This looks much better. I hope some of the downvotes get reversed.

Btw, you might want to leave a comment pinging the OP (underneath the question might be best) to tell them you've significantly changed your answer and they might want to reconsider their acceptance...

A J

@Tinkeringbell Linky?

NM

Tinkeringbell

@AJ That one we were discussing yesterday, and this meta: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/2310/1599

A J

Ohh

Tinkeringbell

And I think that if we still want to this interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/2304/1599 we have to be quick, that contests ends Friday

My hat is in a shared 10th place, I don't think that's too bad considering there are over 60 answers (If I calculated correctly, 30 answers a page)...

Mithrandir

flag-pls, del-pls | VLQ | How to tell someone I'm uninterested in them romantically?

plus someone-add-a-comment-explaining-the-problem-pls

Tinkeringbell

9:56 AM

Mmm... It's sorta borderline?

Asking someone whether they have their eye on someone else does give of a signal that you're not interested romantically..

But it doesn't explicitly tell them :S

English Student

Now informed OP about the substantial edits, thanks @Tinkeringbell.

A J

data.stackexchange.com/interpersonal/query/952/…

Tinkeringbell

imgur.com/a/tVJTO OldPadawan made a first version of a IPS hat. I like it!

A J

12:15 PM

> Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.

4

Tinkeringbell

@AJ Wrong room? :P

A J

12:29 PM

@Tinkeringbell I posted it already in the other room long ago.

:P

Tinkeringbell

Ah, someone is fishing for stars :P

A J

I am not.

> Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Tinkeringbell

@AJ ;-) Just joking :D

A J

How do you write in fifth person?

Tinkeringbell

No clue ;)

A J

12:33 PM

> I heard from this guy who told somebody …

:P

Tinkeringbell

hahaha ;)

A J

> A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.

2

Tinkeringbell

@AJ But but but .... that doesn't give me my dog's IQ!

A J

@Tinkeringbell But it gave yours. ;) :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell Well, chances are reasonably big that your dog didn't buy it

Tinkeringbell

12:36 PM

That only tells me the dogs IQ is higher than mine, but that goes for half this world's population..

It doesn't give me my IQ either...

That can still be 10 OR 11 :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

It's all relative anyways

A J

haha

Domain names gone wrong

@Tinkeringbell @JarkoDubbeldam ^^

Tinkeringbell

@AJ I already know half of em :P

A J

@Tinkeringbell but you should be thanking me. You now know the remaining half. :P

Tinkeringbell

@AJ Not really, I just looked at the first 10 :P I'm at work :P

Extroverted Main Man

12:51 PM

1

Q: How to decline kindness without being rude?

Little bit of background: a few weeks ago, my friend/coworker's sister, we'll call her Lila, opened up a shop with her boyfriend, let's call him Mark, about things that generally interest me. I've helped them as much as I could to set up the shop before it opened, because I thought it was a nice ...

friends saying-no gifts act-of-kindness

Tinkeringbell

1:03 PM

@ExtrovertedMainMan Good first question. See? It IS possible!

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell My brain just jumped a bunch of associations, making no sense in the end

I ended at the WNF/WWF

Mithrandir

@ExtrovertedMainMan AiC

Jarko Dubbeldam

Basically "It IS possible" -> de wonderen zijn de wereld nog niet uit -> that one commercial with "Morning has broken" -> WNF

Tinkeringbell

@JarkoDubbeldam Nah... I really can't follow that train... :P

Hahaha, are you sure you've had your hot chocolate today?

1:07 PM

@Tinkeringbell I haven't...

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Go get it :P Always make sure to have had coffee/tea/hot chocolate before doing anything online! :P

Mithrandir

Hmm... I was saving it for later, when I'm still online at 1AM ;)

@JarkoDubbeldam my brain interpreted this as weird natural foods.

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Mithrandir It's the dutch name for WWF

World Nature Foundation basically

imo it makes more sense than WWF

Mister Positive

Good morning....
I put a bounty on this question
https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/8130/how-do-i-deal-with-someone-who-makes-more-of-my-disabilities-than-i-do

Any of you heavy hitters want to take my rep? ;-}

A J

Hmm. A strange question [18+] Don't open it @Mithrandir

Mister Positive

1:16 PM

@AJ Wow.

Jarko Dubbeldam

The true spiritual questions

Hey, I got some kind of sun thingy

Tinkeringbell

1:33 PM

@JarkoDubbeldam Yeah, you upvoted, downvoted whatevered something :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

figured

Tinkeringbell

@MisterPositive Darn, Why do you write such short answers? :P I just finished another novel (interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/8298/1599) and all of a sudden your answer is up! :P

(Sorry for the duplicate bits...)

Mister Positive

[Shrugs]

Tinkeringbell

Well, if that one doesn't hit HNQ, I dunno :P

Mister Positive

@Tinkeringbell No worries. I write answers that I feel will help the OP. You'll get all the rep don't worry LOL

Tinkeringbell

1:40 PM

@MisterPositive I'm not doing it for the rep!

I think yours is good as well, nice and short ;) I really must work on that :P

Mister Positive

@Tinkeringbell I know, but you watch how many more up votes you get over mine. I bet you get at least 4 times the votes. :-P

Tinkeringbell

@MisterPositive I dunno, but if I do, that's probably because my rep is already higher, I've seen that happening on SE....

Mister Positive

@Tinkeringbell Yep, it does.

OMG I got a vote!

Tinkeringbell

@MisterPositive If the OP accepts an answer though, it will help ;)

Happened to mine on movies.. mine got accepted, and is now higher upvoted than the most upvoted answer was at the time it got accepted (and there was enough of a difference to get the OP of that one a gold badge, the one for not getting your answer accepted)

You've got 2, I only got 1 :P They're probably still reading mine :P

Mister Positive

@Tinkeringbell OMG that is hilarious!!!

Tinkeringbell

1:45 PM

It's in HNQ now, so the difference will probably only get bigger :P

Mister Positive

@Tinkeringbell Take a crack at the question I put the bounty on....

@Tinkeringbell If you have time..

Tinkeringbell

@MisterPositive Maybe later tonight. What are we still looking for there anyways.... ?

Mister Positive

@Tinkeringbell Honestly I don't think my answer is the best...there has to be a better perspective on this subject than mine...

Tinkeringbell

@MisterPositive Meh... Yours pretty much says it all...

:P

Mister Positive

@Tinkeringbell Ugh.....the other answers are weak....I am going to end up giving it to a weak answer at this point....

oh well..

Tinkeringbell

1:54 PM

@MisterPositive Think before you put up a bounty :P

3 vs. 2 now :P They're keeping it exciting :P

Mister Positive

@Tinkeringbell Ouch. I did, that is why I put the bounty on the question.

Tinkeringbell

@MisterPositive Hahaha ;) Just teasing ;)

I'll see what I can add to it :D

Mister Positive

@Tinkeringbell Thanks!

Tinkeringbell

Have you already upvoted my hat on meta.se? I need just a few votes to get past those floppy disks... :P

Mister Positive

??

link?

Tinkeringbell

1:58 PM

68

A: A Moose, Some Silly Putty ... And A Desperate Plea For Help

Great Old One Simply looking upon the creature drives the viewer insane. Materials used: A jar of gluten-free, edible kids glue 1 non-edible glue brush Edible green glitter 1 dark green felt-tip Green paper, 6 A5 sized sheets and 1 A4 sized Storebought green paper strips Childproof sciss...

Mister Positive

that hat will look good on my Yoda.

Tinkeringbell

@MisterPositive Haha, one creepy Yoda that will be! :P

Mister Positive

don't make me shock you. :-P

Tinkeringbell

in The Screening Room, 1 min ago, by Tinkeringbell

Good morning! Is there anybody here that can vote my hat past the duct-taped floppy disks? I really don't want to lose to a bunch of floppy disks and a strip of duct tape :D https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/304500/a-moose-some-silly-putty-and-a-d‌esperate-plea-for-help/304618#304618

Goes here to: If anyone can help me get a safe distance from the floppy disks, please help! :P

Tinkeringbell

2:14 PM

(And I meant by upvoting me, not downvoting other people! Shame on whoever did that)

Sid

2:27 PM

How do you get the sun-thingy hat?

Tinkeringbell

@Sid Same as yesterday, upvote something. You might want to start here: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/8298/1599 :P

Downvoting also counts, I don't know about commenting/posting

@Sid this might be a nice page to keep an eye on: meta.stackexchange.com/questions/304340/winter-bash-2017-hats

Rory Alsop

3:03 PM

@Tinkeringbell just as long as you don't get past my Hat Overflow Stack ;-P

Jarko Dubbeldam

lol

Maybe you could get this for telling someone how to parse HTML with regex — Don't Panic Dec 17 at 1:00

Sid

3:20 PM

@JarkoDubbeldam that is impossible

Tinkeringbell

@RoryAlsop I have to... :P now it’s a honor thingy

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Sid that's the joke

4425

A: RegEx match open tags except XHTML self-contained tags

You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool th...

Rory Alsop

@Tinkeringbell lol

Tinkeringbell

@RoryAlsop that was the inspiration... I made one of those once ;) But no time to crochet that:D

So I used paper

@JarkoDubbeldam I liked that comment. But it’s not a good goal. Don’t want those questions on IPS :D

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell lol

TheTinyMan

3:46 PM

@Tinkeringbell I'd hate to ask a 3 year old to crochet something, anyways :-p

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Then you're going to love this one: meta.stackexchange.com/a/304765/369802

It is possible ;)

TheTinyMan

I do in fact love it and completely want one xD

That would be so useful at LARP, a lot of the time I wrap a scarf around my face and people tell me I look like a rogue or something :-P

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Learn to crochet. There's soo many useful things you can make ;)

And it's not that hard to learn

What is LARP exactly anyway? I know y'all dress up and fight.... but are there rules?

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Yes but it takes so much time! And I have a low tolerance for frustration, and making a mistake that involves undoing hours of work will lead to me swearing vengeance upon my crochet needles, my yarn, my project, my pattern, and the art of art in general.

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Meh, take a thick yarn, and re-count after every row.... ;) Then, there's the very neat feature to crochet that you don't always have to undo your work, you can also just smuggle in a missing stitch in the next round :P

Really, crochet! :P

TheTinyMan

3:56 PM

The way I describe LARPing to people who don't do pen'n'paper RPGs, and I hope that this description crosses cultures well: imagine when you used to play pretend as a child. Everyone would have a cool idea or character they wanted to be, and if the kids got along well, then they could work together to make a fun game, but if they didn't, you'd have a bunch of kids who all wanted the entire game to be played their way.

LARPing is playing pretend, with an established setting, and an established set of rules that exist to communicate what your character can do, and what happens when characte…

@Tinkeringbell Buuuuut xD

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to sooth relationship between roommate and my sister (who lives with us)

So background information. My sister, who is currently 16, has been living with me for the past couple years after some problems with our Mother arose. This past May we moved off base into a home with a work friend, who was recently divorced and struggling to pay for his large home. In the home w...

conflict-aversion roommates argument

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Whahaha bean bags, really? I would have picked paint balls :P

Sounds chaotic but fun ;)

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell They're homemade things very similar to bean bags, anyways. Small strips of cloth packed with specifically very soft birdseed.

Tinkeringbell

Point being, paint balls (or that color powders you can throw, used during 'color runs')... They leave a mark :P

A bean bag doesn't (or you must all check for bruises later). So cheating is easy? :P

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Cheating is extremely easy. In the LARPs that I play at, you have 'hit points' like in a video game. So if I get hit by a sword, it might do 2 damage, out of my character's 25 max health. No one but me is keeping track of how much damage I've taken, and when you are fighting 5 people, it can be hard to keep track of.

Tinkeringbell

4:02 PM

@TheTinyMan And no fights because of cheating? Wow, that sounds really adulty!:P

TheTinyMan

But there's a very strong culture against cheating. Not that that entirely stops people, and there's some forgiveness because no one can keep track of all of the numbers flying around so some error is expected.

@Tinkeringbell But if it becomes clear that someone is willfully cheating they generally get kicked out of the group

Tinkeringbell

You probably must have a good group going for that to work out ;)

TheTinyMan

And there are definitely groups where people are petty and often accuse each other of cheating, but that's seen as very unsportsmanly.

Tinkeringbell

And in comes my family, that can't play a game of monopoly without cheating :P

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Yep, not allowed. ;-)

Tinkeringbell

4:03 PM

Sounds great fun, and really, I would like to know more people that don't cheat, that would be great :-)

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Am I gonna convert you? xD Tell ya what, if you come here and LARP with me I'll give crochet a try! ;-)

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Hahahaha! Thanks, but I'm not really fond of going abroad :P

Too much stress..

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Oh yeah? Have you done it a lot?

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan A few times.... last time was about a year ago, to DisneyLand Paris... With both my brothers, to celebrate the oldest and I both had fulltime jobs ;)

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Haha, that kind of vacation can be stressful! Did the stress come from the brothers or the schedule?

Tinkeringbell

4:07 PM

Before that, a few summer holidays to France, a few to Belgium and I think one to Germany as well...

But I don't like it. You can only put so much into a suitcase and I need everything! :P

@TheTinyMan The organizing and arranging and packing and travelling..

Once I'm there I can generally have fun, but when the time to leave comes closer I get stressed again

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell I've only left the country once, going on a cruise with my now-ex and her kid. The kid kind of drove us up the wall, and the cruise schedule really exacerbated the difference in my sleep schedule and my ex's...she's all, 'LET'S GET UP AT 8 AM TO WATCH THIS SHOW' and I'm like, '"AM" means "am asleep still"'

And it was worse with my ex-wife (different ex-), with her family's obsession with Disney World...I never got any rest there, and I just did not get the appeal of sitting in line for 30-45 minutes to ride a 2 minute thrill ride...

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Hahaha, yeah, my brothers were sorta the same: We want breakfast at 7AM, so we can be in the park by 8 and enjoy those 2 hours where only hotel guests are allowed in the parks

And I was like, okay, so I'll be having breakfast at 10 and I'll see you at 11 near the rollercoaster :P

@TheTinyMan There's an app for that. We never waited more than 20 minutes, except for the last day, when we wanted to make sure we had done everything: 45 minutes for both rides we missed.

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Yeeeep. I'd much rather a staycation, or something without a rigid schedule.

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Which is another thing I didn't like about holidays abroad (but that was because those were still with parents)... The "I want to see this, that'.... No way, just give me a couch, tv, crochet needle and yarn and I'll be fine...

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Sure, but Fastpass can - or at least could at the time - only get you so far, and some rides just never have lines shorter than 30 minutes at the time of year we went. (They were 30 minutes instead of 90 because my ex-wife was a freaking Disney World professional :-P )

Tinkeringbell

4:12 PM

@TheTinyMan Hahaha ;) We didn't use any fastpasses ;-)

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell I can only imagine that Disney Paris is less populated than Disney World in Florida, then. xD

Tinkeringbell

Just check the app. When there's a parade or character, make sure to avoid those rides for a while

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Oh, yeah, that's basic stuff. That's not what drew the crowds I was talking about.

Tinkeringbell

I really hated the fact that you'd have to stand into line to get a picture with a figure... That wasn't like that the first times I went to Disney.

Now, the princesses have like their own 'hall' and you have to get into a line and hope they don't switch princesses while you're in line :P

TheTinyMan

Wat. Their own "hall?" xD That isn't how it was when I went. Granted, the last time I was there was like...seven years ago?

Probably when I got married in 2008, actually.

Tinkeringbell

4:15 PM

@TheTinyMan Yeah, it's pretty weird... there's this little building 'where you can meet a princess'.... There's another one for meeting Spiderman :P

And if you want to meet Donald Duck, you have to stand in line as well, they set up a queue

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell That's interesting, when I went they'd mostly just be wandering the crowds. Generally in an appropriately-themed area, like Belle and Gaston in the France-themed area of Epcot.

Tinkeringbell

When I went the first times, it was all way more fun: you could just have one of those autograph books and kids were everywhere screaming to get attention.

There were also a lot more figures walking around

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Man, I hated the screaming kids...I'd forgotten about that.

Tinkeringbell

If you're a kid yourself, you don't mind much :P

Last time I went I did hate the kids running and screaming in the hotel at 8 AM :P

Yeah, I know you're in f-ing Disneyland, that's where I am too! Now shut the f UP!

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell That may be fair. I hated crowds even worse when I was a kid though. :-P Hated pep rallies and school and stuff. I'm still noise sensitive and have crowd-related anxiety. I first went at like...20 though.

Tinkeringbell

4:17 PM

@TheTinyMan You seriously missed some magic :P

Luckily our school never did pep rallies ;) And crowd-related anxiety doesn't help! How do you survive shopping? :P

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Probably. :-P My parents definitely could never afford something like that.

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan We saved up... No holiday one year, only a few days to a theme park or museum in the Netherlands... that meant we had enough to go the next year.

My parents did that twice, just for us ;)

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Shopping? It can be stressful but I guess I've done enough shopping now that it doesn't bother me as much as some things. Most of the time, although there are people, it's not like it's a writing mass of people, the crowd almost its own entity. Sometimes it is though. :-p

@Tinkeringbell Haha, well I went on my first vacation ever in college, with my ex-wife's family. My family would go to maybe three movies a year? And eat fast food maybe once a month?

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Shopping is definitely different over there then.. here, you can't predict where people are going, and you can't walk the pace you'd like

@TheTinyMan That's strange, because generally fast-food is cheaper than fresh veggies!

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell So, you know, we weren't entirely destitute, but we didn't live with the same luxuries that most people did.

@Tinkeringbell The veggies were always canned or frozen. :-p

Tinkeringbell

4:20 PM

@TheTinyMan Meh, and I thought my parents had it hard sometimes ;-) At least we had fresh veggies, and holidays..

Now that they're both working again, they're going on even more holidays (mom and dad)...

My mom's parents always saved every penny because they wanted to go on a cruise once my grandpa was pensioned. Both didn't make that age...

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Ehh. I grew up with a computer in the house, in a time when very few people did, so I count my blessings. :-)

@Tinkeringbell Wow, that's depressing.

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Hah, we only got internet when the teacher told my parents I really needed it for school :P

@TheTinyMan Basically, my mom decided after that that she would use every cent to enjoy her life while she could :P

(When my mom inherited, she could buy a new kitchen with the money. And not a cheap IKEA one!)

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Yeah. I have a really weird relationship with money. :-p

My instinct is to never spend any of it at all, but then I look at my bank account and I'm like, "man, I should spend some of this on these things that I've been casting sad eyes on that everyone else I know keeps buying" so then I spend too much and take some time to recover

orrrr I get into long-term financial commitments to provide something for a partner and then wind up not staying with them forever...this house I knew I couldn't afford is why I'm broke these days! But at least it's a nice house! xD

Tinkeringbell

Hahaha ;) I've been saving like crazy lately, because I want to buy an apartment soon.

But there's only so much money you can have in your bank account and not have to pay extra taxes for... So I've been spending money like crazy lately, just because I don't think the government deserves even more money :P

@TheTinyMan Never buy more than you need. Goes for houses as well ;)

I could get a loan to buy a 2 bedroom apartment. But what would I use the second bedroom for? So I'm definitely not going to max out, and just buy a 1 bedroom apartment

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Yeah, well. :-P She wanted to live in an expensive county because it has really good schools, I wanted a big yard for my dog to play in...

Tinkeringbell

4:27 PM

Hmm... I've heard about that, that schools differ a lot in quality in America? (You're in america, right? :P )

TheTinyMan

...so here I am with a (Google calculates to convert to metric) 284 square meter house on a 4856 square meter lot

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Hmm... rent out some rooms? :P

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell I am. And yeah, they do. It's still public schools, we were never making so much money to even consider private school.

Extroverted Main Man

3

Q: How can I tell if a old friend has interest in me?

I'm a male, 23 and let's call her Jess. She is 22. Me and Jess go way back. I know her since high school, but as my friend had a crush on her, I'd never ever hit on her, even though I find her attractive. After my friend had no success with her, I had no interest in her as well, but this took l...

relationships romance

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Yep, that's what I'm doing...and things go great when my tenants pay their rent on time. xD

The perils of renting to friends I guess, haha

Tinkeringbell

4:29 PM

What's the difference between public and private? Why is private so much more expensive?

(switching trains!)

Catija

@ExtrovertedMainMan Thoughts on this?

I feel like we're being asked to be oracles.

SmokeDetector

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Bad keyword in link text in answer, bad keyword with email in answer, pattern-matching website in answer: How can we tell a divorced friend that his ex has moved on, and appears to have a boyfriend? by Prophet Abuvia on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell @JarkoDubbeldam)

TheTinyMan

Public schools are paid for by taxes. They're under-funded; there aren't enough teachers, and the teachers aren't paid well, and they're expected to pay for most of their classroom supplies out of their already-worse-than-most-unskilled-labor paychecks. Some places have more taxes to pull from than others, and some places have fewer problems that they have to contend with; a public school in a rich part of town doesn't have to worry about overcoming a culture of violence and frequent theft. Public schools also don't generally remove students from their system unless it's absolutely neces…

@Catija This is a really common theme, though. :-\ I hate to turn them all away.

Catija

We can not tell people whether or not someone likes them... it's not possible. They simply have to ask.

TheTinyMan

@Catija You are of course entirely correct. Do we consider asking that question or ways of gathering information about the person's feelings to be an IPS? (I'm thinking not.)

Catija

4:36 PM

Learning how to read and interpret body language sure... that could be considered an Interpersonal Skill.

TheTinyMan

@Catija Yeah. On the other hand, it's hard to imagine a question about that that isn't too broad, and isn't so inanely specific (and still opinion-based) as 'what could this shrug have meant?' :-\

Catija

Sure. There's no way to definitely know.

TheTinyMan

I'm feeling like for the specific question "ask her" is the IPS the OP needs xD

gerrit

Hmm, +5 on the question, +60 on the most upvoted answer. A rather extreme ratio. interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/1800/…

Tinkeringbell

@Catija hadn’t given it attention yet. But I agree

Catija

4:51 PM

@gerrit Not uncommon with older questions that don't really meet the site's current standards for quality. We should probably consider a major edit but that would risk invalidating the answers... possibly should be closed but... it's bountied.

Mithrandir

close-pls | Off Topic / Too Broad / Primarily Opinion Based / Unclear What You're Asking | How can I tell if a old friend has interest in me?

gerrit

@Catija I guess I've been too busy to pay attention to the changing standards of the site.

It doesn't help that the downvoted accepted answer has been massively edited and doesn't differ all that much from the most upvoted answer anymore.

Catija

@gerrit They posted two questions on meta about their answer being deleted and how to fix it.

But I think the question subject explains a lot of the problems... I think that it's possible that users are disinclined to upvote a question about something they consider problematic behavior but the answer is addressing and attempting to correct that behavior.

TheTinyMan

@Catija Yeah, I upvoted the one answer and didn't do anything with the question's votes for just that reason.

Introverted Meta Man.

5:06 PM

-3

Q: Accepting an answer shouldn't effect how answers are ordered

The question How should I approach a situation in which I made a female roommate uncomfortable? has an accepted answer with a score of negative seven. Because the answer is accepted, an answer with a score of 60 and a bounty is hidden under it. The answer is quite long, so you have to scroll down...

feature-request

Jarko Dubbeldam

@IntrovertedMetaMan. what's the point complaining about that on IPS meta? Not like we have any power over it

TheTinyMan

@JarkoDubbeldam I was wondering that, too. Maybe rousing some rabble to collectively complain about it somewhere else? :-p

Man, my alliteration was on point back there! xD

Jarko Dubbeldam

conjure a crowd would've been better imo

conjure a consortium of companions even better if you're also into assonance

IDrinkandIKnowThings

-5

A: How should I approach a situation in which I made a female roommate uncomfortable?

How can I let the complainant know I am sorry what I said upset them and meant no ill intentions? (My idea was to apologize to each of them, something along the lines of, "hey the manager told me my comment about maid cafes made someone upset so I'm not sure if it's you but if it is, sorry." b...

What am I missing that is so bad about that answer?

TheTinyMan

@JarkoDubbeldam Yes but I wasn't trying very hard at all xD

(always a good fallback excuse! ;-) )

Jarko Dubbeldam

5:18 PM

@IDrinkandIKnowThings used to be bad

was edited

and not undownvoted by many

have a look

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/posts/1814/timeline

IDrinkandIKnowThings

Ahh didnt see the direction by the OP to refrain from casting delete votes... yeah bad form

Tinkeringbell

@IDrinkandIKnowThings not only that, It started out as only four or five lines long ;)

IDrinkandIKnowThings

yeah those lines werent good butthey werent -10 bad either

Tinkeringbell

@IDrinkandIKnowThings they didn’t answer the question asked in the body

That’s what happens here to such answers;)

IDrinkandIKnowThings

@Tinkeringbell they kinda did... Talking about maid cafes is not ok... dont do it... that was all the OP really needed

Tinkeringbell

5:23 PM

@IDrinkandIKnowThings Take a look at this: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/2305/1599r

The body asked how do I apologize

That wasn’t answered

Now, the community has evolved a little in four months, to the extent that we now edit titles to match bodies. If that were done here, it would invalidate the answer... I didn’t downvote but I guess that’s what happened

IDrinkandIKnowThings

I can see why some people would view it that way... but its still not -10 bad imo. The majority of the downvotes came after the direction to not cast delete votes... thats a bad idea

Tinkeringbell

@IDrinkandIKnowThings yeah well you don’t make friends that way, that’s true

IDrinkandIKnowThings

I do not think the original answer added value so I can see casting a delete vote. And now the op has a great answer with a terrible score that will probably never be improved. System works :)

Tinkeringbell

I think the metas got it some downvotes too

IDrinkandIKnowThings

Yeah I have no sympathy left for the OP there

Tinkeringbell

5:33 PM

@IDrinkandIKnowThings Don’t be mean :P

IDrinkandIKnowThings

The original answer did not explain why just not talking about maid cafes(or anything similar) is the best way to apologise. It deserved it dv's

Tinkeringbell

@IDrinkandIKnowThings But it’s edited, so should be judged by its merit now

IDrinkandIKnowThings

@Tinkeringbell Ohh I have sympathy for the answer just not the OP :p

Tinkeringbell

Not just downvoted because of a grudge against the old answer

IDrinkandIKnowThings

and I upvoted it because the content is now great

Tinkeringbell

5:36 PM

@IDrinkandIKnowThings good

That sounds a lot friendlier;)

Catija

I undownvoted it?

Tinkeringbell

@Catija That’s good as well :)

I personally try to keep track of my downvotes and see whether things are improved to the point of undownvoting too

Dunno if everyone does that though

Catija

I doubt it... you can look at your votes page, I think? Try this: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/users/1599/…

IDrinkandIKnowThings

Should suggest a que on meta that would show questions and answers you have voted/commented on that have been edited since you last visited them\

Mithrandir24601

@IDrinkandIKnowThings I'd also really like this

Catija

5:42 PM

@IDrinkandIKnowThings Not a bad idea but also possibly lots of false positive... people edit posts for all sorts of reasons that don't actually improve them.

Tinkeringbell

@Catija yeah...I’ve seen people easily make 10 edits just spell checks

IDrinkandIKnowThings

and I suspect that the query to do it would be clunky and expensive

Catija

Probably. It's something that could use some attention but making it work well would be complex. I suppose limiting it to edits of more than 100 characters or so would probably help?

NVZ

6:20 PM

started from elu, now i'm here / started from elu, now my whole team effin here. (x4)

there's an idiot sounding horn outside my apartment... it's been going on straight for 5 minutes and more.. ugh

NVZ

6:33 PM

Is anybody out there?
It feels like I'm talkin' to myself
No one seems to know my struggle
And everything I've come from
Can anybody hear me?
Yeah, I guess I keep talkin' to myself
It feels like I'm goin' insane
Am I the one who's crazy?
So why in the world do I feel so alone?
Nobody but me, I'm on my own
Is there anyone out there who feels the way I feel?
If there is, let me hear
Just so I know that I'm not the only one

- EMINEM

Tonepoet

@NVZ It's a scary world here eh?

NVZ

@Tonepoet Yeah. Silence is the ultimate torture. Like you're stuck floating in space.

Tonepoet

@NVZ The only thing I can do to fix that is ping you, and that only works if your speakers are both on and working. =P

NVZ

@Tonepoet My ears aren't. There's this car outside that's been sounding horn for the past 15 mins straight.

Oh, hey, it's stopped.

Peace.

At last.

@AJ What is this? > Witty one-liners club? :P

Tonepoet

@NVZ That's actually somewhat of an odd declaration, given the context. If you hate silience so much, it seems to me as as if a car alarm going off would be the ultimate reprieve. It was doing you a favor. XP

Tinkeringbell

6:44 PM

@NVZ Well, if you rather have one-liners to chew on for a while:

> The Court of Public Opinion is actually the highest court in the land

NVZ

@Tonepoet I love light. But getting blinded by light is not my thing. And so is the case about sounds. :P

Tonepoet

@NVZ Of course you don't. It's always better to be blinded by song. That way, your senses can be attenuated to more effectively enjoy the music.

TheTinyMan

@NVZ hssss....light!

NVZ

@Tonepoet lol. blinded by sound? Or deafened? :P

@Tonepoet Two metas in a day? Nice.

Tonepoet

6:59 PM

@NVZ Definitely blinded in this case.

NVZ

@Tonepoet lol wut? what the hell was that! xD

@Tonepoet Rereading your meta... I think it could use some rewrite. A bit wordy, I think it is. An edit is not necessary, though.

Tonepoet

@NVZ 'Twas a video game, or more specifically Touhou 08: Imperishable Night. Mystia Lorelei, the Stage 2 boss, renders her opponents practically senseless opponents by singing. You can see that the area which is visible around you shrinks when that portion of the battle starts, and it continues to get progressively smaller, until only the area immediately surrounding you can be seen.

@NVZ I like wordiness, and being old fashioned. XP

NVZ

@Tonepoet Like "casted away", starring Tom Hanks.

Tonepoet

@NVZ Strictly speaking, we don't know what tense the title is supposed to be in there. XP

NVZ

@Tonepoet you like the 16th century, right? english.stackexchange.com/a/94578/50044 :)

Tonepoet

7:08 PM

@NVZ I did see that, and the following comment:

"Nick Clegg casted his vote in Sheffield yesterday" independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/… — Kris Dec 17 '12 at 10:56

NVZ

oh, wait. deja vu. I think we had a talk about casted right here on IPS chat.

Tonepoet

@NVZ Who is "we"?

NVZ

Dec 14 at 20:42, by Catija

@NVZ Please, as someone who worked in casting, Don't say "casted".

@Tonepoet Who are we? All we are is dust in the wind.

TheTinyMan

Parasites on a rock hurtling through space

NVZ

Kansas - Dust in the Wind (Official Video)

►

Oh, much needed relaxation.

Tonepoet

7:13 PM

@NVZ I see. I wish I knew what "verb transitive preterit tense" meant. That's probably something to ask in E.L.U's. chat though.

NVZ

@Tonepoet let's break them down and google them up.

So, now I understand what preterit means. The rest of them, verb, transitive, tense, I have no clue since kindergarten.

Tonepoet

@NVZ Well, a transitive verb has an object, which is a word it targets, like prepositions do. Intransitive verbs, by means of comparison, have no object and need a preposition to interrelate them to an object...

NVZ

@Tonepoet nah, either the joke missed you, or I failed at making it. :P

Tonepoet

@NVZ It's probably me moreso than you. I really have no business being an E.L.U. member. XP

NVZ

@Tonepoet What do they say in America? "There's a first time for everything". :)

You are now on IPS territory. When in IPS, do what IPSers do. Break the awkward silence, by any (cough polite) means necessary. :)

@Tonepoet Check out the main site as well, I think you'll find something interesting to read.

Tonepoet

7:20 PM

@NVZ Oh please now: You undersell the main purpose of the website, which is to learn how to deal with others as politely, or at least as effectively, as possible.

"By any means necessary" suggests even shouting and screaming is an acceptable means of breaking the silence. XP

NVZ

@Tonepoet wording changed. :)

Tonepoet

@NVZ =)

NVZ

@Tonepoet They're very effective, actually. One method I have read on this very site is "climbing onto the table and yodelling" Hehe. It was a joke, actually. Somewhere in this answer: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/4180/345

Tonepoet

@NVZ I have difficulty imagining what circumstance calls for that.

@NVZ Also, I have observed it on rare occasion, mostly due to your prior prompting. I remember seeing a question about some guy wanting to explain to his girlfriend that he wanted to attend a certain bachelor party once...

NVZ

@Tonepoet and?

Tonepoet

7:29 PM

@NVZ And ellipsis points indicate that I've intentionally omitted something for some reason. XP

NVZ

Ah. the suspense is killing me

@Tonepoet Did you see the edit examples I made. ;)

Anywho. I'm off to sleep. :)

(Kansas) Dust In The Wind - Sungha Jung

►

Tonepoet

7:47 PM

@NVZ Hmm, I haven't. I'll look at them later, but I'm rolling back to rev. 5 for now.

NVZ

@Tonepoet no rollbacks necessary

Tonepoet

@NVZ It's not rolling back. XD

@NVZ Is rev. 5. exactly the same as rev. 9? Hmm...

Anyway, g'night.

Extroverted Main Man

1

Q: Conversing with a Conversation Hog

I find myself on occasion in a conversation with someone who really likes to talk and rarely stops to listen. This lends itself to me listening almost the whole time. Occasionally I have things I want to share but have no opportunity to do so. One family member, in particular, is very challeng...

conversations united-states

Extroverted Main Man

8:07 PM

0

Q: How to help my mother work through extreme anxieties?

My mom has had anxiety issues for as long as I can remember. It used to be sort of quirky and not disruptive of our lives, including (but not limited to): Touring each room of the house to make sure everything was unplugged if not in use Feeling the oven/stove to make sure they weren't hot, eve...

united-states family how-to-help parents anxiety

D.Hutchinson

11:33 PM

@Tinkeringbell, where are you? :(

Mithrandir

it's kinda after midnight where she is

'course, it's 1:30AM here, so I can't really talk

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