The Awkward Silence

Q: How can I politely reject someone's advances?

see ya!

Extroverted Main Man

1

I am a high functioning autistic woman and I recently went to a meet up for other autistic people and met a guy. I let him add me on facebook and we talked a little bit and he tried to ask me out almost immediately which I rejected by saying I didn't want a relationship. We went back to having a ...

4:34 PM

Okay. Off-topic question of the day: I am in desparate need of a hobby that's 'active', but not a sport.

Any ideas?

Jewelery making?

@Tinkeringbell Not a sport? what do you mean? Mentally active?

@ElizB I'm in doubt that'll convince my parents... :P

No, active as in, when you're done, people actually think you did something.

... oh, so the parents said you need to be active?

Does rock climbing count as a sport?

Apparently crochet, tatting, calligraphy, reading and photography don't count.

@El'endiaStarman Yeah.

I like making stuff, but I'm getting way too much trouble lately for 'not doing anything'.

and as house hunting isn't going the way I want it... I need an extra hobby I guess

4:37 PM

My sister has the same thing happen.... ugh. She's not an extremely active person... She loves art and photography. Y'know what... just go for a walk. take photos during that walk- Boom. Active + your hobby!

my dad drives my sister crazy with that bs.

he thinks i'm fine because I rock climb... he thinks it's so awesome.

@ElizB :/ I'm not fond of walking around the area... I like photographing at a zoo ;)

Or a museum...

Or making pictures of my crochet ;)

Oh, then do that!

My mom wasn't fond of @El'endiaStarman sitting on the computer all day until he got a job that earned twice as much as she did... doing just that.

Walking around a zoo doesn't count? what about volunteering at a zoo?

an animal care center?

I just can't go the zoo or museum or stuff every day though :P And I'm not going to force myself to go do that every week either.

Not that fond of pets.

Ah, heh. hmm.

I just want something Arts and Crafts-y I guess, that is very active. ;)

4:41 PM

paint outside?

learn how to do a painting or drawing technique like pastel, watercolor, charcoal?

That's cool, but I guess since sitting outside crocheting doesn't count...

I guess my parents just have it in their minds that I MUST do something sports

there's a ton of stuff there. to "prove" to parents that you're active... maybe get a rocking chair?

@ElizB Hahaha yes, yes indeed.

Nah, a rocking chair would not be "active" enough. Even old grandmas do that.

@El'endiaStarman That was the best day ever. she had nothing to say about his habits except a meek "maybe walking around is good too" sometimes

My sister is very much alike. She'll stay in bedroom all day if she could.

@ElizB Oh, we have an excellent lounge set, so I love sitting outside crocheting

(Unless I'm working on really boring stuff, then I go inside to watch TV/Netflix)

4:45 PM

Mods, would the following question be on topic for this site? "How can I protest against the tipping policies in US restaurants given the strong social pressure to tip?"

@Tinkeringbell That sounds so nice! fresh air is good. Hmm, that might be what is making your parents uncomfortable- watching tv. My dad really comes down on my sister if he sees her there longer than a hour or so

essentially I was wondering about how the US culture of tipping could possibly change for the better if everyone is told to blindly follow the social conventions

@JonathanReez My first interpretation of this was that you don't want to tip but the next statement is contradictory... Not sure where you're going.

@JonathanReez Ehhh. We had a question on tipping already (to lower a tip)... that one was fun XD... Like Eliz said: do you want to protest, or not tip?

or protest by not tipping ;)

user15026

Also, what are you protesting, exactly?

user15026

4:49 PM

(because I think that matters)

also, is it really social pressure or is it mandatory?

I personally find mandatory tipping an abhorent practice (even though I can afford it) and don't want to tip. But when eating in a group there's very strong pressure not to do so and even if you eat alone you'd better not come back to the same restaurant probably

I have another important question: Are you a foreigner in this case, or American?

I'm a European

I tip 10% in my home country even though it's not mandatory

see youtu.be/V4sbYy0WdGQ for an eloquent summary of my views :)

Okay. Well, I think focusing your question on 'how can I as an outsider to a particular society challenge a behavior that's rooted in that society' isn't really about IPS.

I don't think there's any interpersonal skills that can help with the protesting. It may be better to just say 'I don't want to tip, how to handle the peer pressure' or something... :/

Maybe this is a good one to take to the Sandbox: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/3129/…

4:54 PM

@JonathanReez i know that most of european countries (if not all) tipping is not mandatory. In the usa, most if not all of the income of the waiters come from tipping, but then again the food itself was cheaper because the restaurant doesnt have to give a cut to the waiters. I too dislike that idea very much, but in the end, it is the americans who have to change this. change through politics.

One foreigner not tipping is not going to change this tipping behaviour, you will only be a huge uhm, pain in the lower back, to the waiters

It is taking so much self-control right now to not try to engage the thesis here but to talk about it as a question xD

@Tinkeringbell I agree with Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan yes, totally, and i didnt have that control

This feels like a better fit for the politics stack to me xD

@Cashbee Ehh, it helps that I feel like most of my thoughts and problem-solving strategies don't fit in the SE model well so I engage chat much more than I engage the Q&A ;-)

these days, I hate tipping (as an American) when the prices for the foods and services are already so, so high - if they can't cover rent and salaries, that's their problem. however, if you go to a great, low-cost shop, say, an awesome low-cost barber shop, then yeah, it's not just social pressure, those people would be truly dependent on your tips to survive

but that's rare to find - everything is overpriced already*

to tip on top of that has gotten so ridiculous

4:56 PM

i heard (last week tonight) that tip-included restaurants are booming in the USA

@Cashbee yes, that's true

@JalapenoNachos that is so so so good to hear :)

@Cashbee and the prices go up just a few dollars, not much more

yeah, exactly

take away the social pressure and shaming, it can work

these days, I try to completely avoid places that create a great social pressure to tip

@Cashbee I'm a European originally but I now live in North America

small hipster cafes create that pressure all the time

they think they're so much better than starbucks and are doing us a great favor -- they're not. their coffee sucks, they're not consistent like starbucks, their milk often isn't fresh, they're rude, and they expect tips for no table service, while starbucks doesn't.

5:02 PM

@JalapenoNachos here in switzerland you pay around 7$ for a starbucks coffee...

my rant is only for places with already-high-priced goods and services

haha

@Cashbee what about a "local" coffee?

@JalapenoNachos I personally like Starbucks too. They're probably not the best in the world but they're above average and reliable in any country

@JalapenoNachos around 3.50

5:04 PM

@JonathanReez yeap, agreed

@Cashbee really? for the same thing? latte vs. latte?

"good coffee" is relative anyway

@JalapenoNachos yup

Oh interesting

maybe a bit less than 7 but not by much

@JalapenoNachos and same thing with McDonald's - as long as you don't drink soft drinks or eat the fries, their food is quite healthy :)

Fun fact: Seattle's Pike Place Market, basically a huge Farmer's Market, has exactly one store that's part of a franchise: Starbucks, because that's where they started.

5:08 PM

@JonathanReez exactly my thoughts too on both Starbucks and MCDs

@JonathanReez are you aware of the big mac index?

yes but I find it's premise questionable :)

if a person took 10 minutes to shine my shoes and charges me only $4 - they are certainly getting a tip, there's no question about that case

@El'endiaStarman ever had Peet's coffee?

mmmm peets coffee

@JalapenoNachos Nope, I don't drink coffee.

5:12 PM

oh

Heretic!

Milk 85% of the time and water 14% of the time.

:D

@RichardU you like peet's? nice

yep, peets is good

5:13 PM

@RichardU your thoughts on tipping? ;)

haha are we at the milk vs water discussion again xD but this time with coffee not hot chocolate

@JalapenoNachos I always tip a minimum of five dollars, regardless. usually 20%, more if I get excellent service

The frustrating thing about the tipping system is that the people who designed it very cleverly designed it so that the people making the decisions are as insulated as they could possibly be from the consequences of it. So when you eat somewhere and don't tip, the decision-makers get their money, but the people who are actually doing their work don't.

I feel like not eating at the place at all is a much better way to protest tipping than to just not tip. Alternatively, dine and dash and leave a tip. xD

@TheTinyMan Dine and dash hurts the server. They have to cover all of their bills and take what is left over for the tips.

Dine and dash means you could make a person work for nothing, or worse, end up having to pay for the privilege of working

@RichardU Wait, if you dine and dash and leave no tip at all, that money comes out of the person's other tips?

5:15 PM

YEP!

This is a truly diabolical fucking system. O . O

i want to read that contract

The wait staff has all of their bills rung up, and then has to pay, and gets to keep the remaining.

So, if you dine and dash, you just cost the waitress that money

SHE loses it, not the place.

Boycotting and picket lines it is then

~~she~~ they :)

5:16 PM

@TheTinyMan The only thing diabolical about the system are the customers.

@Cashbee used waitress first, then used she to modify it it.

@RichardU How do you figure? O.o

oh right

Q: My new landlord tends to stay up late and make a bit of noise, my sleep is suffering

@TheTinyMan when I worked for tips, I made DAMN GOOD MONEY

you ran into the occasional jerk, but most are generous

My tips usually ran into multiples of my pay, even when I was being paid more than minimum as a base

I'm also a very generous tipper myself

Extroverted Main Man

0

This woman bought the duplex we rent a couple months ago. We live in the upper, she lives in the lower. She and her girlfriend seem to sleep in the room directly below mine and I can often hear them talking, laughing, and walking around late into the night, even until 1am sometimes. It's not lik...

conflict-aversion politeness neighbors

IF you just do your job, you'll get a decent tip from me, go the extra mile, and you'll get a very good tip.

5:19 PM

@RichardU Yeah, that is what I've heard. I was gonna say "millenials would 'target' this industry next except that serving jobs are the most profitable jobs that most of them will ever see" but got sidetracked. ;-)

I don't go out often (dietary limitations) but when I do, I usually tip generously. If i go out with a group, and the waiters/waitresses are stressed over serving a large number of people, I typically tip generously.

@TheTinyMan it's also a good job because the hours tend to be very flexible, and when times get rough, you put in more hours and bump your wages up.

I usually say something nice as well, because even though I have not worked as a waitress, I have been in customer service before and it takes a lot of patience to do their job and I commend them for it.

@ElizB yep. and the reactions when you are nice make it all worth it. You know you've made someone's day better.

@RichardU It takes a lot of work and hopefully my saying something nice covers something else that happened before- like a hard day, someone being a jerk, family issue, etc

it doesn't take it away, no. but hopefully it helps them keep going and know that they'll be alright

5:24 PM

@ElizB when I was in my darkest hour, I promised myself I would make five people smile every day, and never to be cruel to people.

There is enough suffering in this world, anything I can do to diminish it is worth the effort.

@RichardU Very good idea.

@RichardU at a take-out coffee shop, if a latte is already $6 it's tough to give another dollar or two - an $8 latte is ridiculous. I've always been a great tipper, but now I'm just getting fed up and feeling poorer.

@JalapenoNachos This is why I do not get lattes

@JalapenoNachos The alternative to a system with a $8 latte + $2 tip isn't an $8 latte, it's a $10 latte.

11 dollars, once you factor in payroll tax

5:30 PM

@RichardU Out of curiosity, is payroll tax significantly different than the way tips are taxed, if they're reported honestly?

@RichardU so you'd get regular drip coffee and budget in a tip for the barista? that would be feasible

@TheTinyMan I hear ya but of course such a business wouldn't last, with their high food costs; nobody would go there

@TheTinyMan when an employer pays you, they are charged by the government, a tax based on your wages. If we eliminated the tipping system, the costs would go up for the employer far beyond the increase of salary.

@JalapenoNachos I have a Keurig which I do not have to tip ;)

haha nice @RichardU

@JalapenoNachos I don't agree that there'd be a significant difference in patronage...but what I'm hearing you say is that an improvement would be that we not pay our servers?

that's funny

5:33 PM

This isn't directly IPS advice, but have you considered earplugs? — TheRealLester 1 min ago

#17654 TheRealLester (6127 rep) | Q: My new landlord tends to stay up late and make a bit of noise, my sleep is suffering (score: 0) | posted 23 minutes ago by mrfolkblues (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.10522604

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@TheTinyMan the wait staff would suffer too, as the really good people would be getting far less than they were previously earning.

@TheTinyMan nope, I'm not saying that

@RichardU This is true, unless the wage was surprisingly and probably infeasibly high.

@RichardU I'm not convinced that all the wait staff would suffer, or even that any of them would be in a worse place every day, though.

@JalapenoNachos I guess I'm not conceptualizing a system that you're suggesting would be better.

@TheTinyMan I'm saying that, at an already-high-priced shop, like, if I paid $6 or $7 for my latte, the owner of that business had better make sure their employees make enough money without tips, first and foremost. The dependency on tips is kinda fake - the owner has enough money to be very profitable and pay out their people.

@TheTinyMan well, the lazy ones would do better, but your best people... no. I'm a computer programmer, and I know a waitress that makes more money than I do

5:36 PM

@JalapenoNachos I'm not familiar with what the profit margins are like in those cases to be honest.

So I guess I was assuming that not to generally be the case.

If she got 15/hr straight, she'd end up with a nearly a 70% pay cut

@JalapenoNachos as @TheTinyMan it all depends on profit margins

@TheTinyMan yeah I'm surrounded by absurdly high-priced goods and services, so that's what my ranting is based on. if the coffee were a couple dollars, tipping would certainly be a reasonable and easy* thing to do for good service

@RichardU right

apaul

Hmm...

Math is hard :-P

The waitress makes the equivalent of 100k per year? (2000 hr * 15 $/hr / 0.3 = 100000)

5:40 PM

^ math guy.

haha

why divide by .3?

@El'endiaStarman yes, she works in a bistro. dinners are 50 + per person.

That's what my second round of math said xD

@JalapenoNachos To remove the 70% pay cut

@JalapenoNachos The waitress would have a 70% pay cut at 15 dollars/hr, so they would have 30% of what they do now. Hence, divide by 0.3 to reverse it.

Anyway, yeah, I'm also a computer programmer and she makes 150% what I do.

do you tip cab drivers?

(question is for anyone)

5:42 PM

Yes, always

@JalapenoNachos I've only once used one, I did then

user15026

I tip Uber drivers, which is kinda the same?

We don't have tipping here.

yeah @Ash :)

(Incidentally, since I didn't weigh in earlier, I tip servers 20% + bonus for doing well or contributing extra to my enjoyment)

user15026

5:44 PM

(I stopped taking cabs here and only take Uber because Uber is more reliable and cheaper and much more convenient for me)

Jobs where there is tipping is a great industry to be in if you are low-skilled or starting over.

user15026

@RichardU Unless you are in a place where you earn less because the expectation is tips will balance that

@Ash I thought that's usually assumed when talking about tipping unless we specify otherwise?

user15026

(I know in the US they're supposed to pay you more if you don't tipped enough for it to equal out to a normal minimum wage, but...more often than not, they don't, is my understanding)

user15026

@TheTinyMan In Canada, minimum wage is (effectively) the same across the board, so I don't generally assume that

5:45 PM

@Ash by law, you have to make at least minimum, but most never have to do that, as you can easly make 25+ per hour

@Ash Ahhh, I didn't know that was the case for a whole country, never mind. :-)

@RichardU But didn't you just say that you can be forced to pay for the privilege of working? Or can you not be brought beneath minimum wage?

user15026

@TheTinyMan well, individual provinces set their min wage, but the minimum is the same for pretty much all workers (there are some edge cases, but they're not customer service/waitressing related, so they're moot for this conversation)

@TheTinyMan it's both true. You can be docked for coming up short

@RichardU So you usually have to make at least minimum?

I can certainly agree to tip generously for great service that clearly exceeds expectations; my issue is about tipping people who kinda don't deserve it. Those who make you feel like you aren't even the customer and that they are just doing you a favor, and it's a vibe where you almost feel like they are the customer. It's weird but it happens pretty often.

5:48 PM

@TheTinyMan you do, unless someone steals from you.

yet, I still tip, all the time, 15 - 30 percent, because of social pressure.

@RichardU I guess that's a viable way to look at it. It's still pretty foreign for me to consider dining and dashing stealing from the server and not from the company.

@TheTinyMan one dine-and dash usually won't put you in the red, but it may eat your tips for the evening

@JalapenoNachos I'm really fortunate in that I've very, very rarely had truly abysmal service (that was the service's fault and not the kitchen)

If I had that experience more regularly I might not have the same tipping habits that I do now :-p

@TheTinyMan good point

when I leave town I can find amazing service - that is true

5:51 PM

@JalapenoNachos I never really stopped to consider how different that might be regionally. Weird. Makes sense though!

so it may be localized, regarding what I experience

yeah

@TheTinyMan the way it works is, at the end of the evening, you turn in all your receipts, then are rung up for how much you owe the restaurant, then you hand in your credit card slips, and cash to match what you owe. IF someone did a dine and dash, you're still stuck with the check and are still charged for it

A compassionate owner may write it off though

@JalapenoNachos I don't tip for bad service

@RichardU Gotcha.

how much do you tip on haircuts?

if your friend is getting married what's a good cash gift? $200? $300?

$500?

@JalapenoNachos Ehhh... we usually pool with family/other friends and buy a kitchen appliance :P

6:01 PM

haha really?

isn't cash much more appreciated?

although if it's on the registry, then I guess it's useful

my friends have always requested cash

@JalapenoNachos Depends. Most people I knew that got married use sites where they can make an online wish list, and have their guests pick of that.

user15026

@JalapenoNachos Depends on the friend, depends on the situation, depends on their needs

I have had one that wanted money (they got it)

I must admit all these people weren't already living together, so they needed a full set of house stuff ;)

ah, ok

user15026

@Tinkeringbell When my husband and I do what I am calling "wedding 2.0", I am terrified because we've both lived separate in our own apartments so we aren't going to need a lot of the traditional wedding gift stuff

6:03 PM

@ash right, so I guess my question was really: what's the minimum that one should never go below, in order to not insult the friend

user15026

so I am like "I hope we don't end up with a lot of duplicate things"

I'd think $200 is the minimum

USD

user15026

@JalapenoNachos My response still stands

@Ash Hmmm. You can give a gift idea on the invites over here, that's generally appreciated even ;)

I don't know about weddings in Canada though ;)

user15026

@JalapenoNachos It's great that you can do that, I guess, I'd know a lot of people who wouldn't be able to afford that

user15026

6:05 PM

@Tinkeringbell yeah, I figure we will likely do some sort of registry thing or like a wishlist or whatever

user15026

Ideally, cash would be best, but I know my family, they do like giving physical objects

user15026

(MInd you this is like a good few years off yet, gotta get my husband and I living in the same country first)

@Ash Yeah. I just visited a Dutch site that said to never ask for money on invites. So even though it seems everyone is doing it, it still goes against etiquette.

@Ash spouse & I didn't do a registry since we eloped, but his side still asked what they could get us anyways, so we ended up asking for better versions of things we had, like new bath towels or kitchen stuff that was getting old

user15026

@EmC That's probably what we will do. :)

6:07 PM

@Ash We often wrap the cash up in a physical object XD : ravelry.com/projects/ikkuhhhhh/…

user15026

@Tinkeringbell oh, that's neat

@Ash Yeah, works like a charm ;)

@ash When me and @El'endiaStarman got married, we received cash gifts ranging from $25 to $500. $25 came from friends of ours from college and the $500 came from his parents. I guess it depends on how they feel about it, and we had a gift registry on amazon :)

+1000 for the 'future avoidance' points alone! I would strongly recommend that OP (and everyone) read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It's available in many languages and it helped me incredibly in dealing with my wife, kids, and the public in general. — FreeMan 1 min ago

@Ash it seemed to satisfy his mom and aunts :P

6:08 PM

We've also done smaller presents with just little hearts candy in the bottom

#17645 FreeMan (101 rep) | A: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons? (score: 13) | posted 3 hours ago by Upper_Case (6372 rep) | Toxicity 0.116454296 | edited 38 minutes ago by Upper_Case (6372 rep)

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For my wedding, we had a registry or two, but the cash was most useful. Minimum was $100, I think, but there was enough to ensure that we didn't run out of money paying for the wedding and related expenses. (Probably around 5k in the end, on purpose.)

user15026

@ElizB I am sure we can figure out a way to make it all work so people feel like they've contributed in a meaningful way :)

@Ash One other thing to point out- if you assign small tasks to them they will also feel that way.

user15026

@ElizB ooooh this is also a good idea!

6:11 PM

@El'endiaStarman @ElizB chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/46250713#46250713 hmm, you two better get your stories straight ;)

@Ash Honestly, I did not pay attention to how they felt. I realized I was trying to make sure they felt 100% welcome- which is the intent, but it's draining. I invited my sister and her boyfriend/fiance (long story short: messed up situation) my dad HATES the boyfriend. I said I want my sister there, and she wanted someone there with her- a date. I said okay. He actually helped with plating some of the desserts and didn't make any complaint. He definitely got weird looks.

user15026

Yeah, those sort of dynamics can be tricky

The point is, it is YOUR and YOUR HUSBAND's DAY. Nobody else needs to fret over how much or how little they've contributed.
My thinking during that preparation time was:
If they don't do anything, okay. If they do something, great! they helped in that way.

user15026

nods

@EmC Hahaha. Her mention made me remember but we only had one or two gifts below $100.

6:16 PM

I know it is very stressful. Having the wedding recently (march) really showed me who really is there to help and who just wants to make a drama bs show.

Nobody got kicked out, nobody got mad. My dad kept his mouth shut and eyes away from the hated boyfriend of my sister. :P (he told me that he was pretty mad but decided to behave later on)

This is scaring me a little, I just proposed to my GF and she accepted but hadn't made a whole lot of plans. I think we are in sync to keep it small and easy

@DaveG Once you get a date and venue, the timeline should be pretty reasonable to follow. There's tons of online resources.

Fortunately we are both old enough that we don't need lots of stuff... don't know where we would put it

@DaveG congrats! :)

@DaveG Well, whatever you do, don't go more expensive than you can afford, don't even count the money you might get as a gift ;)

6:20 PM

And my family is scattered and her's is mostly 1,000 miles away so may not have a lot of guests :)

@DaveG My mom's second wedding was actually a few months before mine, and they asked for no gifts- "Your presence at our wedding is a gift to us" sign was placed on the table.

one or two people still gave gifts (objects) and I think people mostly gave cash gifts in cards.

@DaveG My family was mostly present and his family is pretty scattered so many members of his family did not attend. Completely understand :)

Yeah it's so early in the process and we're both so busy we haven't really discussed what we are going to do. For sure we aren't spending lots of $$$, we are redoing the kitchen, that's enough money. And more practical. We'll finally have room to both be in there together

@DaveG That's great :) Cash gifts towards that would be great!

If you tell your guests that then they'll know what they're giving towards.

Heh it'll probably be mostly her relatives and kids, they are more likely to be getting cash from us :)

That's sweet. :) Congrats!

6:32 PM

But I might get at least one sister to visit, she lives in Netherlands but visits the USA periodically.

@DaveG That would be a good idea to talk to her- see when she might be planning to visit next, and give her a reason to! :)

Mithrandir

google-eyes-requested | How can I talk with my friend about her burn out problems when I disagree with some things she says?

@zanahorias 98% of the time I agree with your statements and would not give the perpetrator in question a moment of my sympathy, but this is one of those 2% cases where the person who is perpetrating probably doesn't understand at all. While his behavior may still fit the definition of 'harassment', I think there are more gentle ways to try to lead someone on the spectrum to an appropriate conclusion. So... i don't think you're explicitly wrong, but I think there are better ways here. — Jess K. 1 min ago

#17652 Jess K. (16934 rep) | A: How can I politely reject someone's advances? (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by zanahorias (186 rep) | Toxicity 0.20335722

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@Mithrandir flagged NAA.

@Mithrandir yep, they appear to have missed the point :/

6:42 PM

@IPSCommentBot fp

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6:53 PM

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brain explodes just had to type out these: PFAS are: perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA), perfluorooctanesulfonic acid (PFOS), perfluorononanoic acid (PFNA), perfluorohexanesulfonic acid (PFHxS), perfluoroheptanoic acid (PFHpA), and perfluorobutanesulfonic acid (PFBS).

user15026

Science!

7:05 PM

yuuup.

I like it, but moments like this... hurt my head.

@ElizB Note that the prefix 'per-' is no longer recommended.

@Loong hmm, how come?

@Loong what should be used instead?

My whole project revolves around that and it's due tomorrow, so I'll listen but probably not change anything.

@ElizB ask IUPAC ;-)

7:10 PM

Okay, I'll look at it after I finish.

@avazula The normal systematic name; however, the locants are omitted if all substitutable positions are completely substituted

Oh, okay. Don't remember that from school.

I don't think the public really will understand that. government writing here. I've been using PFOA, PFOS, etc

@ElizB Looks like that in such a context, 'per-' might still be the better choice.

@Loong Okay

I like the answer, but I would leave out everything related to introversion/extroversion. They are commonly used as synonyms for shy/outgoing, whereas their medical definitions, according to human personality theory, mean something entirely different. Saying that you're an introvert means something different to different people, and you're more than likely going to unintentionally spread misinformation (or confuse people), rather than accurately describe your situation. — Clay07g 2 mins ago

I'm not sure about this... the entire question is about introversion/extroversion so my answer has many points about that... (shrugs) I think that adding definitions of introversion and extroversion could settle that. Thoughts?

7:27 PM

I'd not overthink this

Introversion is not a medical condition so there's nothing wrong to use it

OP said they're introverted so you did right by assuming they told the truth about it

I'm overthinking so much right now. Paper is due tomorrow. -_- :P

Yeah, that's what I thought. I understand it quite well, being married to someone with introvert tendencies.

I might get the bot on me for being chatty... we'll see. :P

I was answering the comment but you're faster ahah

yeah, i decided to do it short and sweet.

no issue there :) I have a huge headache but i am SO close to finishing the paper.

Just need to add to the abstract, and i'm good. :D so relieved to get this done.

Yeah, sometimes answers are way too much overthought ... But I'd not get on that field. :)

@avazula haha yeah.

7:34 PM

Yeesh :/ Oh, you're almost done then! :D

@avazula yep! it's like an adrenaline headache...

@ElizB You've not been around for a really long time so you may not have seen this yet, but when people start to assume you have psychological issues because of what you asked (??) ... It's not nice.

@ElizB best of luck! : *

@avazula Yeah, that's definitely not nice. One or two people (acquaintances) gave me that kind of comment when I spoke about my hubby and I was just trying to explain the introversion. They didn't really get it.

@ElizB some people are really bad at putting themselves in someone else's shoes ... sigh

@avazula Yeeeep.

My dad. chuckles HE tells me to put myself in HIS shoes..... (slaps head) but he doesn't put himself in MINE. :P

so that phrase always makes me jaded

7:39 PM

:/

He doesn't bother me too much now. Getting married helped :P

Tell me about it

It was family time yesterday. For once, my bf came with me. I was surprised, because he's not really a family animal plus he really dislikes some of my family members, yet he came

@avazula Ah, that's nice. Both of you deal with it okay?

My uncle was unbearable and so he was fed up. Would I have been alone that day, I wouldn't have noticed my uncle terrible behavior. I got used to it...

@ElizB Pretty good, yes. I enjoy my family time on my own, and he likes staying at home during weekends, which I really dislike.

@avazula Same with my mom. She can be really wild with other family members, but she's not unkind. Just over-energetic to introverted and sensitive people... :P

@avazula Ah, gotcha. I like going out at least once, and my hubby would love to stay home all day on the computer. (shrugs)

7:44 PM

@ElizB Exactly xD

@avazula He's got two relationships going on- me and the computer. :P I poke him about it sometimes, and I'm generally fine with it. He does watch movies with me. We've got Kiki's Delivery Service from Studio Ghibli on dvd from netflix to watch this weekend :D

While I'm sick of computers once home, bf would pursue in playing video games. How does he do to spend his day behind a screen? xD

@avazula I do not understand either.

@ElizB THIS MOVIE IS GOLD

@avazula 0.0 okay! :D great, i'll be watching it sometime this weekend

7:45 PM

:)

first time watching it.

I have been meaning to watch that for an eternity but have not yet :'(

my favorites so far are Howl's Moving Castle and My Neighbor Totoro.

Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke are pretty amazing too

Yes, indeed. I fell in love with susuwatari's (soot sprites?)

My favorite is probably Nausicaa. Although Princess Mononoke is a close second.

I...have also not yet watched My Neighbor Totoro. :'(

7:48 PM

Totoro is a game changer once you know about the allegedly tall tale behind it

My mom's favorite is Howling castle

@avazula Oh?

@ElizB let me find an explanatory article in English :)

@avazula Thank you :)

Dang it, I can't find one.

I assume it's not so true then xD

I suppose you don't have to be concerned with this, so I'll just downvote and move on. But I wanted to at least let you know why I did so. — Clay07g 35 secs ago

7:52 PM

I suppose you don't have to be concerned with this, so I'll just downvote and move on. But I wanted to at least let you know why I did so. — Clay07g 46 secs ago

snort okay.

Not gonna take that personally.

@TheTinyMan Nausicaa! That's another one of my favorites too.

yup, that's me! chatting away :P

hehe

@ElizB I don't understand why they're going on with this... Anyway.

@avazula Yeah, I don't get it either. oh well.