The Awkward Silence - 2018-08-16 (page 1 of 3)

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Extroverted Main Man

1:16 AM

0

Q: How can I encourage my boyfriend to stand up to his friends?

Here's the situation: My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 1.5 years. At first, when I met his friends I liked them a lot, but as time has gone on I've noticed a side to their relationship that makes me uncomfortable. While his friends always joked about my BF being the "dad", I have st...

conversations friends relationships conflict-aversion

2 hours later…

2:51 AM

!!help

//help

/help

Extroverted Main Man

3:16 AM

0

Q: Declining to do exercises I think are unsafe without making a scene

I am part of a running group that meets every week. The running group is part of a large store, but is actually free (I think they do this for publicity and in hopes of people would buy things from the store etc). A few months ago a new staff member started leading the running group. She has som...

conflict-aversion

2 hours later…

5:30 AM

@JBis !!/help

!!/help

IPS Comment Bot

Note: If <botname> is the only argument, it can be ommitted and the command will be seen by all bots. If <botname> is "*" all bots will repond as though they've been mentioned.

!!/on <botname> - Turns on the bot (if it isn't already on)
!!/off <botname> - Turns off the bot. When the bot is off, it will only respond to !!/on.
!!/notify <botname> <type> <on/off> - Turns notifications on or off. Currently there are two types: "regex", and "magic"
!!/alive <botname> - It'll tell you if it's alive
!!/reports <botname> - It'll tell you what the current reporting settings are for the current room

1 hour later…

6:37 AM

There is no Easter Bunny?

7:02 AM

good afternoon!

hello o/

Hi there!

what's up, everybody?

Sun is gone, all coworkers are in vacation, tons of work to do ... sounds like a quiet thursday :p

oh

why aren't you on vacation? ;P

7:07 AM

I haven't been working for long enough for this company, if I want to take some days off I won't be paid

ohh

!!/alive @IPSCommentBot

IPS Comment Bot

I'm alive and well :)

Noice

@AJ And you, how are you @AJ ? :)

good :)

7:14 AM

great :)

are you planning to go on vacation soon?

nah

I don't get to do vacations.

I don't get time for myself between worklife and doing household stuff (don't know the proper term for this one)

Yeesh. Sounds terrible :(

If I want to fresh the mood, I will just pick up my bike and travel around the city or go to theater.

Do you live in a big city?

kinda

It's a metro city.

7:23 AM

Ha, okay :)

So what do you do with these vacation days? Does your company refund them?

Last time I did vacations was 2 years ago, when I visited some historical places on hills during monsoon. Quite scenery it was.

@avazula yup.

they pay for those vacations.

Wow, it's really been a while!

I haven't taken a single day off since last 4 months.

I might, not sure yet, give some interviews in other cities. That's when I can do some vacations. But don't know when it's gonna happen.

Have you checked what I sent you the other day?

8:09 AM

@avazula No, I didn't.

okay. You'd need to want to go abroad for that anyways.

Yup. I don't have a passport, and it will take time to get one. Even if I try it now, I can't get there before 6 months.

8:32 AM

It complicates things, indeed.

@avazula yup

Right now, I am in a situation where I can't really give interviews due to lack of time.

Morning all :)

afternoon

Where in the world are you @AJ?

9:00 AM

@Chilly Near the tropic of Cancer.

:P

Ah I see, I was wondering because you said afternoon - it's only 10 in the morning here so I got confused :P

@Chilly welcome to timezones :)

@JAD Haha thank you, I always forget that a lot of us in here aren't in the same timezone :s

Jalapeno Nachos

9:21 AM

hello :)

@JalapenoNachos Hello there :)

@JalapenoNachos hello!

Hi :)

Jalapeno Nachos

:)

I am writing a riddle and would like your opinion before i post it on puzzles.se

> For mandatory movement does my prefix stand
Watch out for always in the grass I land
My suffix able of anything it desires
is made to withstand pressure and times

9:23 AM

@Cashbee looks good to me

Jalapeno Nachos

hmm

shall we solve it or no?

if you can sure

im not sure if its too easy or too hard

I'm absolutely horrendous at riddles, I always miss the most obvious of things

Jalapeno Nachos

sounds scientific - but medium - hard, I'd say

@Cashbee you can't know until you post it there. :P

Jalapeno Nachos

9:25 AM

it's a good one @Cashbee :)

@AJ if people here guess it too fast i know too ^^

any guesses?

Jalapeno Nachos

pressure and time state variables ;)

hmm very physics-ish

@JalapenoNachos you're a programmer arent you :D

Jalapeno Nachos

fluid too - as in, fluid dynamics

nope

math / scientist I would say :)

ah :)

Jalapeno Nachos

9:26 AM

your problem seems to be in dynamics hmmmmm

no clue though :(

I like it a lot

I have a hint ready

> In the orchestrated lands I lie
And now I'll have some delicious pie

Jalapeno Nachos

ugh you're like that professor who gives a hint that makes the problem harder haha

haha

Ok i guess it's not too easy. good

Hint: You should be using X to solve the problem. Student: "WTF is X?"

Jalapeno Nachos

haha

@Cashbee I think it's a great one :)

9:31 AM

thanks

should i solve it?

Jalapeno Nachos

I'm with @Chilly -- it probably is nothing scientific, despite the keywords that jumped out at me - I have likely fell for the traps

@JalapenoNachos yes nothing scientific at all

Jalapeno Nachos

I'd be fine with the answer if everyone else is

you're the only one who tried i think ^^

Jalapeno Nachos

haha wanna wait a bit then?

9:33 AM

sure

Jalapeno Nachos

it's a really good one; don't waste it :)

@Cashbee I'd be cool with the answer too whenever you want to put it in :)

I am a..

Pecan!

oh i just found another good hint ^.^

Okay I would NEVER have gotten that

Great riddle, 11/10 would confuse

hehe

Jalapeno Nachos

9:39 AM

haha

what's associated with mandatory movement? "pe" hmm

P.E. class in school

Jalapeno Nachos

penultimate

Oh :)

physical education

Jalapeno Nachos

yeah :)

9:51 AM

OH now I get it

Can you tell that I'm blonde yet?

im blond too 😀 last week I had several hours until i got a joke here

Jalapeno Nachos

haha

I don't get how it withstands pressure and times, @Cashbee

@Cashbee you're a blonde bee?

Jalapeno Nachos

:(

hello @avazula :)

@JalapenoNachos Tin cans are supposed to keep food for long periods of time :)

9:55 AM

@avazula yes blonde with black stripes. not black with blonde stripes 😃

Jalapeno Nachos

@avazula haha Ohhhhh

@avazula yupp

@Cashbee that changes everything

for me, the struggle with different emoji colors is way stronger xD

@Cashbee weesh, there is a difference ! ._.

Ava, entomologist specialized in bee stripes, only when at work

Jalapeno Nachos

9:58 AM

time for bed - round 2 interview for an analytics role, in the afternoon here on the West Coast

goodnight everybody!

Bye ! :)

take note that i call my stripes blonde not white. I don't wanna get held back by a 7 nations army

badum tss

...

not surprised you're trying your luck on Puzzling.SE with such references xD

hehe

I'm heading for a much deserved coffee break, I've been up in work since 6 am xD Talk to y'all soon :)

10:02 AM

enjoy

10:37 AM

Guys I just got surprised with a little chocolate cake during my break to congratulate me for my project going live

How cute is that

aww :D

that's great!

10:57 AM

@doppelgreener I'm so happy the project is finished, it was so tedious to do xD

plus there's cake

isn't it a lie?

Kaspar Kjeldsen

I want cake when I finish my project as well now!

same

yeah me too! why is that not yet a standard?

11:01 AM

Motion: Cake should be an industry standard when projects get finished and go live

Kaspar Kjeldsen

To be fair, we just had lunch, and there happened to be cake, so I shouldn't complain too much

All in favor?

Kaspar Kjeldsen

raises hand

seconds hand raising

it is decided unanimously

Kaspar Kjeldsen

11:03 AM

Great. I'll go let the corporate world know

just open a new github issue

xD

I'll print the flyers

@Cashbee I am so tempted xD

11:16 AM

→ 5 messages moved to Trash

Extroverted Main Man

11:48 AM

0

Q: How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons?

My girlfriend has a tendency of getting fixated on things she thinks true, when she won't listen to any reasoning and starts arguing with me. We are in our late twenties and we have been together for 8 months. She is a foreign student in my Central European country, we both work as interns. Neith...

relationships conflict-aversion

@ExtrovertedMainMan That's quite weird for a situation

Yeah but the rent would be super high due to inflation. — JVon 11 hours ago

lol

12:09 PM

@ExtrovertedMainMan man that's a hell of a red flag for me

not for the question but for potential relationship material

@doppelgreener I read through it and it kind of looks like misunderstandings because of the language differences

I have a few ESL friends I help with learning English, and sometimes they completely misunderstand a sentence I say

It's possible that the girlfriend just doesn't want to admit she was wrong about a sentence, but who knows

@TheRealLester yeah that's the red flag

i have a low tolerance for b/s :P

@doppelgreener b/s = ?

@avazula bullsh**

Maaah

Yeah, OP's SO would have lost my trust a long time ago if I were in their shoes.

12:22 PM

Same, completely

Sometimes I wonder do people ask questions on IPS just in the hopes someone will give them an excuse for their SO's behaviour because that would be easier than splitting up..

It's true that the number of people who stay together for they're afraid of being alone is horrifically big.

@avazula reminds me of To Have or to Be? from erich fromm

Haven't read it. Did you enjoy it?

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing

Context I currently live with my family, in a fairly sizeable house. My sister also lives at home, as does her boyfriend who has grown to be my closest friend. Both of our main hobbies is mechanical work on cars and motorbikes. We both have a lot of basic tools, but each of us has a number of s...

conversations friends family

1:07 PM

!!/alive @IPSCommentBot

@TheRealLester yep this. They heard 500 euros a night and freaked out

IPS Comment Bot

I'm alive and well :)

@IPSCommentBot why don't you report comments today then?

Is everyone away?

@Chilly well, there are a lot of people that mistake IPS for relationship advice

Feels like the sandbox needs a little bit of cleaning up soon. There's been posts that are either forgotten or abandoned...

1:12 PM

@avazula I think there are problems on both sides though. The things OP mentioned he said in response are terrible ways to de-escalate: "What are you talking about.", not explaining what they did mean by the 500 euros, accusing her of being drunk.

@JAD Yeah, I thought his was way too much too.

@ElizB don't see why that is a problem. Just sort by active

@JAD It'd be nice to ask OPs if they still plan to post. There's no need to keep unactive posts

@avazula This.

@avazula similarly, there is no real need to not keep them either. OP might want to come back to them

1:15 PM

@JAD That is true as well, but as the Sandbox post talks about keeping it clean, I feel it has been long enough for a few of the posts there.

@ElizB how long is long enough?

For example, the WP.SE says the following:

> If you see a question draft that has not seen any activity for at least 30 days and that has had a comment asking if the author is still working on the question draft for at least a week you should flag the post for moderator attention and ask for deletion.

Seems like the IPS sandbox has the same copy pasta

either I can or someone can post a comment pinging the OP, asking if they're still working on it and the Sandbox says the same thing

Some already have that

as a contrast. The PPCG sandbox currently has 6114 answers :P

404

Q: Sandbox for Proposed Challenges

What is the Sandbox? This "Sandbox" is a place where Programming Puzzles & Code Golf (PPCG) users can get feedback on prospective challenges they wish to post to the main page. This is useful because writing a clear and fully specified challenge on the first try can be difficult. There is a much...

discussion featured sandbox

yup :)

2100~ not deleted

I guess questions are less personal there, so they might be picked up by someone else.

1:20 PM

Right, yeah.

@JAD Just came back and saw the reply to my comment and now it seems like the OP is overreacting

@TheRealLester I'm not sure if that's the case. "She forgot everyting and asked me why I brought her to such a boring place." sounds pretty insensitive from her. Seems to me there are some serious communication issues.

I agree with @JAD

@JAD Fair enough. This whole situation is just weird

@avazula that book is an exhausting but interesting read for sure. It's about e.g. the difference between loving your partner and loving that you have a partner

1:36 PM

o_o

@Cashbee just the concept of not being alone can be a big deal

sure. but it's not the same, while for many it is

I'm not saying I hate that I am not alone

oh, they're not at all mutually exclusive

I guess the former is a step up from the latter

@JAD 404 sandbox not found

2

@doppelgreener There is a saying in Dutch: "Door de bomen het bos niet kunnen zien", the trees hiding the forest. I guess the sandbox has to many grains of sand in it, and needs to be cleaned.

Jalapeno Nachos

1:44 PM

"I'm alone but I'm not lonely."

^ someone guess from which movie that quote is from :)

the room

The one with Tom Hanks on a tropical island?

Jalapeno Nachos

nope :)

cast away? nope :)

Heat - with Robert De Niro and Al Pacino and Val Kilmer :)

from 1995, I believe

HEAT: "I'm alone but I'm not lonely" (HD)

@JalapenoNachos the passion of the christ xD

Jalapeno Nachos

@Cashbee haha maybe

who's gonna watch that horror movie that's coming out

called "the nun"

Anonymous

1:51 PM

Hey @IPSCommentBot

Jalapeno Nachos

looks scary

Anonymous

So this bot doesn't work

8 hours ago, by IPS Comment Bot

Note: If <botname> is the only argument, it can be ommitted and the command will be seen by all bots. If <botname> is "*" all bots will repond as though they've been mentioned.

!!/on <botname> - Turns on the bot (if it isn't already on)
!!/off <botname> - Turns off the bot. When the bot is off, it will only respond to !!/on.
!!/notify <botname> <type> <on/off> - Turns notifications on or off. Currently there are two types: "regex", and "magic"
!!/alive <botname> - It'll tell you if it's alive
!!/reports <botname> - It'll tell you what the current reporting settings are for the current room

@JalapenoNachos Oh god no not a hope in hell, I get scared by my own shadow xD

@IceInkberry If you wanna know if it works type !!/alive and tag the bot

Jalapeno Nachos

1:52 PM

@chill haha

!!/alive @IPSCommentBot

IPS Comment Bot

I'm alive and well :)

Jalapeno Nachos

THE NUN - Official Teaser Trailer [HD]

@JalapenoNachos will you be watching it?

Hi @El'endiaStarman! Looks like Eliz converted you to our pilgrimages :D

Jalapeno Nachos

1:54 PM

after I watched The Sixth Sense, I feared going to the bathroom at night for like the next 3 months

@Chilly I might, actually :)

@JalapenoNachos and I couldn't look under the furniture

Jalapeno Nachos

@avazula haha

El'endia Starman

@avazula Well, I tend to leave chat rooms open... [shrug]

I like the mention of PPCG above!

I like how we can talk about a lot of things in here in a single day... from mutiny to pets... :P

@JalapenoNachos You're a much braver human than I am, I couldn't even make it through the trailer for the nun with it muted

Jalapeno Nachos

1:56 PM

@Chilly haha

@Chilly I'm not brave; I'm foolish - I will be scared for the next couple months after that movie

anyone wanna analyze my jalapeno haiku?

@JalapenoNachos hahaha this is why I don't watch stuff like that, I enjoy getting a good nights sleep too much and not being afraid to open doors lol

Jalapeno Nachos

haha yeah

@JalapenoNachos yes :)

the last scary movie i watched was Cabin in the Woods, and the next one will be Tucker & Dale vs Evil

both of which are half busy being parodies of horror

Anonymous

!!/alive @IPSCommentBot

IPS Comment Bot

2:02 PM

I'm alive and well :)

I havent seen it but what about A Quiet Place?

Anonymous

:D

I don't do horror movies... just... nah.

@ElizB +1

@avazula Not worth it keeping me up at night.

plus bad experiences where my ex basically coerced me into watching Jeepers Creepers. Blech.

2:04 PM

also +1

cabin in the woods & tucker & dale are exceptional in that regard

i remember after seeing paranormal activity i was creeped out by the quiet in our house later that night while i was trying to sleep, expecting any moment i'd hear some unearthly noises and a powerful bang from downstairs

Jalapeno Nachos

@doppelgreener hahah

would you recommend paranormal activity, though? I never watched...

The Ring was awesome

does anyone know how to get rid of anysearchmanager for good? I keep removing the extension when it pops up, but it eventually finds its way back onto my Google Chrome browser

El'endia Starman

Sounds like malware on your device. I've had to deal with a similar thing in the past, but I don't really remember the search terms I used for google.

2:19 PM

@JalapenoNachos Have you tried scanning your device with software like MalwareBytes?

Otherwise, any anti-PUP/ADW software could help

El'endia Starman

Ahhh, MalwareBytes rings a bell! But yeah, anti-malware software in general should do the trick.

@JalapenoNachos it was OK. it was hit and miss. it worked fine for me, being a horror movie that genuinely scared me.

YMMV, you might like it or might not

Jalapeno Nachos

2:45 PM

@avazula do you use the paid version of MalwareBytes?

@avazula I've never tried but am kinda unwilling to pay for the service haha

Just use the free version

Nope. I'm a free tools militant :p

Malwarebytes and Spybot Search & Destroy are both good

I'd download both on a clean PC, put them on a USB, reboot the infected computer in safe mode, then install them while in safe mode.

Spybot needs to do some of its work while not in safe mode, which is fine

or, reboot the infected PC in safe mode with networking, then download and install them while in that mode

Jalapeno Nachos

Oo ok cool :)

thanks @avazula @doppelgreener :)

Anytime!

Jalapeno Nachos

3:01 PM

@avazula it found the 3 search systems thingy and deleted all 3 and I restarted my computer

thanks so much!!

you're awesome :)

Hope it's enough for you to get rid of these dang-it pieces of software :)

Those peices of software are so annoying. I've dealt with it on the family computer my siblings use, because they just don't know any better.

@JalapenoNachos someone just solved my riddle :)

im so happy

Jalapeno Nachos

@avazula it says after the 30 day trial it will downgrade from Premium to Free. I hope the free version is sufficient too :)

@Cashbee nice!

did your question get a lot of upvotes?

that was a really cool riddle

@Cashbee yay! Congrats :)

3:10 PM

@JalapenoNachos only 4 so far

but idc about the upvotes 😀 I got good feedback on my first riddle, so yeeeah

and it was solved

Jalapeno Nachos

@Cashbee yeah :)

@JalapenoNachos It's way enough IMO. If you wanna know, I'm a nightmare for computers. I make them all get asthma (really don't know why because I don't have fishy behavior that could make me get viruses). I'm so good at it I make Photoshop unable to save a file because of lack of RAM...

Jalapeno Nachos

@avazula Oh nice!

@avazula Wow you're even better than my mom and I thought she was the best

Jalapeno Nachos

@avazula I unfortunately fell for the "you need to update your flash player"

thank god that annoying search systems thing is deleted now

3:13 PM

@Chilly You know what's best in this story? I'm a hardware engineer xD

@JalapenoNachos nice! good to hear

Jalapeno Nachos

@Cashbee thanks :)

In my defence, Windows 10 is really the worst

@avazula You have no excuses lol xD

@avazula Oh god it's awful

I know xD

Jalapeno Nachos

3:15 PM

what's awful about it?

@Chilly Yeah, it's incredible how much data it gathers ... from your typing speed and speech patterns to random voice recordings "for Cortana improvements"

I hate it

I only keep it for Adobe and some games

Jalapeno Nachos

Oh :(

@avazula That's exactly why I don't like it, I don't like feeling like I'm being watched all the time

@avazula cortana can't speak swiss anyways

It's just creepy

3:17 PM

@Cashbee No one can speak swiss anyways

true dat :'(

xD

Es ist schade

@avazula just choked on my tea reading that xD

^^

@avazula i've turned as many of those things off as i can.

for the same reason i've switched off the always-on voice features on my android phone.

3:19 PM

äs isch äuä scho hüne schad

My bf taught me the teabag pattern in video games this morning. I was having my tea and he explained that some players squat stand and bounce back on the dead body of their enemies after they killed them, just like you plunge your teabag up and down in your cup. What the fudge is this trend? xD

@doppelgreener Ooh, reminds me I need to do it on my new phone

@doppelgreener it's so impressive what those companies do with your data. Sometimes I'd talk about a very specific object with someone with my phone in my pocket. Next day, I get an Instagram ad to buy it ...

@avazula oh yeah thats an old one

@doppelgreener I use apple but I still have things like that turned off

@Cashbee bless you

@avazula its about humiliation

3:22 PM

@Cashbee you gamers are crazy

@avazula That happens to me too, it's creepy how much they listen to isn't it?

i'm so relieved by the GDPR and hope more companies like Australia launch regulation just like it

@avazula teabagging is usually only practiced when there is a killcam (when you get killed, you see the last few seconds of your killer and how he killed you, plus 1-2 seconds after that

@Chilly it sure is. Have you read this related article? vice.com/en_au/article/wjbzzy/…

@avazula No, I'll give it a gander now though!

3:24 PM

@Chilly Prepare for chills xD

@Cashbee Are you a fan of it?

@avazula it's very situational. I usually only do it before killing an enemy sniper from behind, to show him that he should look around more

i think its funny

but i don't really play shooters anymore

@Cashbee I have a friend who became quite famous on Twitch. His curse is that he loves small, indie games, but his fame came back in the days he was streaming Counterstrike, so now he feels obliged to go on with CS to please his fans

@avazula that did literally give me chills :s

Feel like I should move to Mongolia and heard goats, far far away from technology

@Chilly Don't wanna say "told you so", but ... xD

@Chilly says the soon-to-be software engineer :p

@avazula that's the classic twitch streamer paradox

3:31 PM

I guess so...

i did some streaming myself but always played whatever i wanted. But this situation is all too well known to me

@avazula for this reason I've also just turned off targeted ads on Google and just don't really use Facebook

@avazula lol I know :P

ok it's feierabend, 'til next time

@doppelgreener Scariest thing for me on Google is the "you last visited x weeks ago" feature on Maps

@Cashbee Schöne Abend! Bis bald

3:33 PM

For a while I had some really creepy underwear ads persistently following me around, and I'd prefer ads about random crap over that

@avazula One of my friends is Twitch famous for CS too and he does nothing but complain about it xD

@avazula reasons I have GPS switched off on my phone except when I want it, and why Google pressures you to turn it on even when you don't need to.

@doppelgreener i wonder what you did to get those xD

@avazula I only saw that recently and it really weirded me out

@doppelgreener I think I'm quite good to avoid being tracked. Google realized I came back from Hungary about 6 months after my actual return.

3:35 PM

@avazula no idea. I visit some LGBT news sites so maybe they were just "aha! This person wants creepy ads about underwear!" and latched onto me.

@avazula lol! Not bad.

@doppelgreener The relation with these two topics stuns me ._.

I have a lot of going through settings to do to make myself less trackable...

@doppelgreener That being said, I myself had ads about resources to prevent suicide after visiting such websites. I think it says a lot about lgbt condition ...

@avazula same. It was on those sites I'd see those ads most commonly, in every third party ad slot, despite continuously picking the "don't show me this ad" option.

@doppelgreener It's worth going to start using TORs haha

3:39 PM

@avazula Honestly yes. Reasons why rights are still an issue for LGBT people. Trans people have very high suicide rates and most trans people I know have gone through a lot of crap. Gay kids still face a ton of prejudice and hardships in many places.

@doppelgreener True that. I'm probably in the "luckiest" category in terms of harassment (I'm bisexual), but still, every time someone learns I'm also into women, they're either not taking me seriously, calling me freak or following a trend, or the worst IMO: It'll pass". Seriously dude?

@Cashbee I just looked online, you guys have a lot of holidays!

@avazula Biphobia is still going strong even in the LGBT community, yeah. It sucks. :/

A handful of times I've had to tackle the idea that pansexuality includes attraction to objects... that one's just really weird.

@doppelgreener Yeah, I hear that a lot

I looked again at my recent question yesterday. I've been on IPS for a while now, and I'm pretty sure it's not the quality that got so many DVs

@avazula huh. :/

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