The Awkward Silence

spiral succulent

12:00 AM

I see an ips question in there

which is "How to dissuade people from exploiting a shared resource"

drawde83

ooh yeah that was the angle I was looking for

Gypsy Spellweaver

@spiralsucculent I think the site has tried to reduce the questions about how to get someone else to do/avoid actions. Rather about how to make ourselves better. Somewhere in there is a line in the sand that I don't see, but see debated from time to time.

spiral succulent

okay, "how can I work with others in a group to protect a shared resource we use from enterprising new members"

Gypsy Spellweaver

Getting someone to stop doing something, and asserting your rights not to have them do it, seem the same in results, but must be viewed as different by anwerers.

spiral succulent

The situation is basically a variant on a tragedy of commons

Gypsy Spellweaver

12:05 AM

Mind you, I am not saying you cannot ask it, I'm mentioning what I've observed here. How it will all play out is unknown to me.

Brainstorm, with no research at all, but that might be a community building type question. I think that site's about online communities, but if they include real-life communities in their purview, that might be worth asking there. Just a brainstorm, not a suggestion at all.

drawde83

this did play out over a facebook chat. Didn't realise there was a community building group.

Gypsy Spellweaver

Community Building

user15026

@GypsySpellweaver From the sounds of their help center page, it's not just online communities

user15026

So that might be a good spot for that

Gypsy Spellweaver

I sort of thought so. Like I said, just a brainstorm.

Protecting the community form shysters is a community problem that requires the community's involvement, not a solo individual acting as Champion for them.

spiral succulent

12:16 AM

I also did not know there was a community building stack

wish that existed when I was trying to run a clan 7 years ago

eh, that looks more like "How do I run a business on facebook".stackexchange

with some interesting community building thrown in

Gypsy Spellweaver

12:34 AM

Well, the Area 51 proposal was "Moderators" They had some debate and changed it. There are two meta posts that leave me wondering if they cover offline in part, en toto, or not at all.

20

Q: Should we restrict to only digital communities?

Our "elevator pitch" statement is: building, administering, managing and cultivating digital communities Should we be limited to only digital communities, or can we also ask about offline (non-online?) communities as well? Even if you don't actually have a "Moderator ♦" badge tacked on to ...

9

A: Are mailing lists on-topic?

Moderators.SE is (and in the proposal already was) intended to be about communities. There's a reason the matter of community management was brought up repeatedly. Of course that means mailing lists are on-topic as well - the behavioural patterns and required oversight, are similar. The site doe...

If interest lies there, @drawde83 might want to visit their chatroom, The Town Hall and see what they currently think.

As a note, the goal, defense of the community from others wanting to monetize it, seems equally valid for online as offline communities.

drawde83

3:49 AM

0

Q: Saying not interested to business offers relating to a shared resource

I go to dance classes with a group of friends and we have a common facebook chat running so we can suggest bars to go to that play suitable music. One of my friends added a guy who offered a free class which a few people accepted but based off that he convinced the owners to make him the "officia...

conflict-aversion awkward-situations difficult-people groups dances

Extroverted Main Man

4:03 AM

0

Q: Saying not interested to business offers relating to a shared resource

I go to dance classes with a group of friends and we have a common facebook chat running so we can suggest bars to go to that play suitable music. One of my friends added a guy who offered a free class which a few people accepted but based off that he convinced the owners to make him the "officia...

conflict-aversion awkward-situations difficult-people groups dances

Extroverted Main Man

5:14 AM

0

Q: What should I tell my friend when she asks me mean/awkward questions?

I am a teen competitive dancer. One of the girls on my competition team seems to be nice to everyone except me and a couple of my friends. She used to be civil to me, but now she is just straight out rude. It mainly started in January when we had a retreat, and she excluded me at every turn. She ...

friends

Extroverted Main Man

5:47 AM

0

Q: Can my sister convey to her womanizer boss by her body language and general behavior that she is not 'available' for an 'office romance'?

My sister recently accepted a high-paying job offer as office administrator in a local firm in our hometown in South India, run by a divorced middle aged financial consultant. She is due to join next week but has now been informed by very reliable parties with direct experience that this person, ...

non-verbal-communication

SmokeDetector

6:13 AM

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Bad pattern in URL answer, blacklisted website in answer: Under what circumstances is it okay to not hold a door open? by gerriramirez on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell)

Tinkeringbell

@SmokeDetector Deleted before I could flag, good job!

NVZ

English, please keep in mind the things we discussed about edits. Make each edit carefully. Avoid bumping the question to the feed every five minutes or so. It's reeeally annoying. — NVZ 7 mins ago

I'm tired repeating it a million times.

Tinkeringbell

@NVZ Yeah.. I can imagine, I noticed it too... Flag it for moderator attention? Although HDE already got involved on meta...

NVZ

@EnglishStudent Friend, this is out of necessity. All your posts have like 25 revisions in quick succession. It's bad practice. Make sure every edit is substantial. Compile your changes into one revision as far as possible instead of hitting that "save edits" frequently.

Gypsy Spellweaver

6:30 AM

@NVZ Sounds like a case where typing the question in a decent text editor, and polishing it there, prior to even opening the "ask a question" page, would be helpful.

NVZ

Strange... I see user "gnat" has like zero activity on the site, except for casting the highest number of votes. interpersonal.stackexchange.com/users?tab=Voters&filter=all

Gypsy Spellweaver

In many modern editors, it you save the file with a .md extension it will even do some basic highlighting and formatting to suggest what it will render like in the browser.

Tinkeringbell

@NVZ Yeah, that's also already a well known fact XD

NVZ

@GypsySpellweaver Yeah, apparently English doesn't like that suggestion.

I tried it out, thanks @NVZ but it doesn't feel as intuitive as making live edits. I like to look at my posts as if 'through the eyes' of other users reading this page, and improve the material in response both to feedback and the evolution of the topic through other answers, especially on meta. Some posts need less revisions than others. However, I am trying to restrict myself to a maximum of 6 edits. — English Student Mar 3 at 19:45

@GypsySpellweaver Maybe a markdown editor, like stackedit.io would be helpful.

Gypsy Spellweaver

@NVZ Now, that makes no sense. Make your IPS account "private" and then post your network-wide flash in your profile.

NVZ

6:34 AM

@GypsySpellweaver "Flair". Yeah, it's a weird way to go about things.

@GypsySpellweaver I did suggest that, a lot of times:

@EnglishStudent It's something I have been telling you for a long time. ;) Make your drafts in a text editor to avoid too many frequent revisions on the site. — NVZ Mar 3 at 19:39

Gypsy Spellweaver

@NVZ There is no need to "post" the question to see what it looks like "live". The very page on which the creation/edit takes place shows exactly what it will look like below the text entry box.

NVZ

Okay, it's bad practice for me to be calling out particular users like this. I'll stop.

Gypsy Spellweaver

Just don't click "Submit" until it's the way you want it.

@NVZ I've never heard of this. Have to check into it.

NVZ

@Tinkeringbell I see that you're still tagged by Smokey. I removed myself from it for it was annoying to be mentioned like that. Haha

Tinkeringbell

@NVZ I don't mind ;) free flags sometimes ;)

NVZ

6:40 AM

@Tinkeringbell I for one don't think those flags matter. ;) What matters is that spam is removed quickly without me having to flag it.

Tinkeringbell

@NVZ nice job on shirking duty then

English Student

Never mind, you can remind me anytime @NVZ! I have been composing edits offline and posting together. My target is 6 revisions.

NVZ

I think the upcoming Smokey autoflag updates will make sure we puny humans are almost obsolete in flagging spam.

Tinkeringbell

Because right now, the only way to have it removed quickly is to fall it

A J

Good afternoon!

Tinkeringbell

6:42 AM

Because right now, the only way to have it removed quickly is to flag it

A J

@Tinkeringbell flag hunter. :P

NVZ

@EnglishStudent I'd like you to try stackedit.io if you're on PC. Maybe it's on mobile as well. Do check.

English Student

I am on mobile. I Shall check it out, thanks @NVZ.

Gypsy Spellweaver

@EnglishStudent My goal is zero revisions. Especially on questions. If I make a revision to a question, I could invalidate an answer that I don't see until I'm done with my edit. And that's not fair to the user making a good-faith effort to help me.

English Student

Zero revisions is the ultimate goal but I am far away from that @GypsySpellweaver. Once I achieve 6 I shall aim for zero, for sure!

Gypsy Spellweaver

6:48 AM

Just make all 6 before clicking "submit" once. Then you have zero (that we know of) and 6, or any other number, that you know about.

English Student

Yes, I do need to break the practice of reviewing and editing these posts in the live window @GypsySpellweaver.

Gypsy Spellweaver

Are you always on mobile, or just at the moment?

English Student

I access the web from android devices. Note too, the internet connection is pretty weak here so I keep going online and offline on a regular basis. Editing posts in the live window is a practice not to lose content if the connection fails temporarily.

I drift in and out of chat the same way but you can always leave a message and I will get it @GypsySpellweaver.

Gypsy Spellweaver

Using exclusively Android shoots down just about anything except using the SE interface.

English Student

That's indeed the problem @GypsySpellweaver.

Gypsy Spellweaver

6:58 AM

Having another option, I avoid anything more than light chat when I'm mobile. Even at that the auto (mis)correct drives me bonkers. Do you have the StackExchange App, or just use the browser?

English Student

I find the browser much clearer than the SE app @GypsySpellweaver. Android browser is actually a good interface for SE. Please be sure to tag my usermame with @ in chat because I need to be notified on the SE main page.

Gypsy Spellweaver

@EnglishStudent The version I get in my browser does not offer a preview of the post for an answer. In the App, however, there is a button for a preview. Perhaps, for posting questions and answers, you could use the app, then use the browser for the rest of your SE activities.

English Student

That's a good idea -- I will take a closer look at the app for that purpose, and your answer to my Q on main is much appreciated @GypsySpellweaver.

Gypsy Spellweaver

@EnglishStudent Best I could offer at such a remove from your culture. Mostly guesswork and stereo types.

Extroverted Main Man

7:15 AM

0

Q: How to deal with a friend answering your personal 'phone?

In a comment to this question, someone stated I am amazed that some people think it is OK for the boss to answer a phone. Maybe this is a cultural thing, but only last night my good friend answered my phone at dinner without permission............ We almosat had a fist fight. I couldn't...

politeness phone-usage

English Student

It is good informed guesswork so it works. Thanks too to @D.Hutchinson for a good answer with a link to an article that conveys exactly how it feels when the boss hits on a woman, and how to handle it @GypsySpellweaver.

Tinkeringbell

8:14 AM

@ExtrovertedMainMan off topic or opinion based, pick one ..

Tinkeringbell

9:04 AM

@Magisch good morning! Your meta post attracted a nice rant :/

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell which one?

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch About downvoting. Reads to me like someone is advocating hugs and hot chocolate, instead of focusing on quality questions and answers here...

Magisch

-> complains about politically correct answers
-> wants a safe space from downvotes

does not compute

Tinkeringbell

Yeah, it triggered a compile error over here..

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