The Awkward Silence

1:00 PM

(And next time preferably before things get out of hand?)

When I saw it, from what I remember... It needed the answerer to edit in a.) why it would be a good idea b.) support c.) how it applied to the OP's situation specifically d.) fixing of a broken link. Seemed delete worthy to me - unless the OP could fix it. I didn't get a chance to see it again before it was deleted.

I can't see it now, so I don't know how it looked when it was deleted, though.

SmokeDetector

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Blacklisted user: How to communicate to coworkers that I am not comfortable with celebratory hugs? by Sam Post on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell @dhein)

Catija

I've edited it and undeleted.

Can we please not blacklist actual users who are just struggling with the learning curve?

Mithrandir

@Catija Yes... if they don't decide to start leaving rude answers.

Catija

Maybe the auto comments are a bit too direct?

Mithrandir

1:09 PM

It's possible. I can try to soften them.

WELZ

For anybody using FIRE, add this line to have it in this room // @match *://chat.stackexchange.com/rooms/61165/*

Magisch

@Catija tbh usually rude answers get r/a destroyed if they're outright rude

Should we not?

Catija

@Magisch It wasn't initially a rude answer. And, no, most of the time I've run into that, it's considered vandalism and gets removed and only deleted if the OP keeps editing the rudeness in.

Magisch

I mean I guess

I don't see the "good answer" angle on it though

Catija

And the two other answers were in response to the deletion of what is a good answer. I messaging is a very powerful tool.

Magisch

1:23 PM

the two other answers were just troll posts

not that bad but also not worth leaving around

Catija

I'm not saying that his other two should have been left...

Magisch

@Catija might have to look into that more then, since it reads as so much novel drivel

maybe I should cancel my downvote too then

Rory Alsop

@Mithrandir sorry - am at noob rep levels here. I'll get there eventually :-)

Catija

The answer makes it look very cookie cutter but it's like that as an introduction. In general, taking the fault for a problem is much less confrontational than being accusatory and makes people more likely to listen. Sharing your feelings is a good way to communicate that something is bothering you and if the person you're talking to actually cares to consider it, they will often respond positively.

Rory Alsop

@Catija that Sam person does seem to not yet understand this site. "What's wrong with you people? I answered his question! I gave the BEST answer!" is a little...egotistic, shall we say.

I think his answer after your edits is just fine, but maybe not "the best" so I changed my downvote to an upvote

Catija

1:29 PM

@RoryAlsop I did say he went off the rails. But the heart of the answer was good. Sometimes people just need some help.

Anyway. I have to actually get ready for my day now.

Magisch

@Catija I see your point here, but I also think that a user who flys off the handle like that on the first show of criticism is probably unproductive either way. What do you suggest we do here? He's probably close or at a quality imposed answer ban from the 2 r/a deletions he got already

Catija

If he's not interested in participating any more, then it doesn't really matter. When I get to work I'll send him a message to explain and hopefully that will help.

Magisch

In the meantime, if he wants to continue participating, is clearing the r/a flags and simply keeping the troll posts regular deleted something you'd be willing to do?

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How do I tell a colleague to take care of how he looks

I am working in a software consultancy company, and our job has a good deal of direct interaction with clients. We are a very international bunch of people, but we are based in Germany, and all our clients are German. From the professional point of view, we not only have to be good technically, b...

SmokeDetector

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Manually reported answer: How can I tell my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner? by tania on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell @dhein)

A J

1:40 PM

@SmokeDetector You can post but you can't escape from me. :P

@SmokeDetector @Catija Gotta remove that.

Tinkeringbell

@WELZ What's that? Will it burn my laptop?

JAD

@Tinkeringbell yes

it's a userscript that allows you to review and flag posts directly from smokey reports

ArtOfCode

@WELZ I'm gonna add that to the script

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Ah... yeah, such things do tend to burn the company laptop ;) I'll see what I can do tonight on the old pc ;)

WELZ

@ArtOfCode why don't we just make it for anything on chat.stackexchange.com (any room with smokey forever will work)

ArtOfCode

1:46 PM

1.0.23 includes this room, @WELZ

JAD

@Tinkeringbell you need a Metasmoke account with reviewer role to use it though

@ArtOfCode eh, I'll just use charcoal HQ. IPS gets so little reports

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Eh... Okay. That won't work then ;)

JAD

@Tinkeringbell well, you could make one and request access, but just so you know :p

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Meh... I'm busy enough as is ;)

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell to much bell ringing?

</badnamepun>

Tinkeringbell

1:49 PM

@Magisch I want to crochet a blanket :)

I sortof need to work during the day as well ;)

And my people need me: I've picked up voting, flagging, commenting and editing here a little more, hopefully it pays off...

Anyone else thinks our reopening rate does seem to be a little better this week?

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell Whats he payoff you're hoping for?

Tinkeringbell

flag-pls opinion-in-comments | People do change their mind

Magisch

Because making the site better will pay off very slowly

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch Slow improvements ;)

I'm not expecting graduation next week :P

Magisch

where's that comment bot at?

Tinkeringbell

1:53 PM

It's in the closet: chat.stackexchange.com/rooms/63296/the-closet

Second shelve from the right.

Tinkeringbell

2:15 PM

@Catija I took off the downvote...

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9455/… r/a?

The personal attack wasn't there first :/

Mithrandir

I believe that I flagged it as r/a several hours ago...

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Hmmm... I was going through post flags (I needed to retract one since that was edited)... I noticed that comment and it looks like it was edited? I'll dive into that closet

Mithrandir

Comments only have a five-minute edit window so if they edited it wasn't very long after posting.

Tinkeringbell

Yeah, I'm just being curious now.... But in the meanwhile:

Please flag this comment, it's disruptive: https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9455/how-do-i-effectively-get-people-to-look-past-my-age-when-considering-my-abilitie/9545#comment37341_9545

@Mithrandir No, it actually wasn't edited...weird. I must not have read it very seriously ;)

Mithrandir

chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/63296?m=42481173#42481173 -

Anne Daunted

2:24 PM

@Magisch Sorry for the late reply, but I just saw it now. The scenario the OP described there?

Magisch

@AnneDaunted They actually went somewhat farther with it at my uni

they had awards that were voted on by the student government on who was most and least attractive in a given year

Anne Daunted

Just to female students?

Magisch

yea

Anne Daunted

That sounds pretty ... disgusting

TheTinyMan

@Magisch That is fucked up O.o

Magisch

2:25 PM

sounds as asinine as it was especially since the entire year of CS courses had only a couple women in it and they definitely didn't enjoy the spotlight, imo

Tinkeringbell

@AnneDaunted If students participated out of free will, I can see it being something like a miss contest?

Magisch

imagine going to uni and have to listen to a bunch of what could be uncharitably described as neckbears voting you least attractive girl of the year

@Tinkeringbell at least in my uni, they never asked anyone

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch Then it's disgusting :)

Magisch

the admin wasn't that hot on it but they were also unwilling to do anything about it

Anne Daunted

Until yesterday I honestly didn't think something like that was possible. Probably shows that I was lucky, and that I'm too naive.

Magisch

2:32 PM

@AnneDaunted vocational school is even worse

the thing I mentioned in my question about apologizing was one of the less painful things the one girl in my class had to endure that year

also our english teacher got catcalled a lot ... in class

Anne Daunted

:-(

Jesse Barnett

@Tinkeringbell I finally finished the meta answer I wanted to use those links for

Tinkeringbell

Hah.... I only ever saw that happening once, a very goodlooking biology teacher intern (female) getting nagged by the boys because she was doing the 'reproducing' lessons.... Boys kept asking her for 'practical classes'...

She just ordered a very big demonstration/education thing at Durex and had the boys practicing putting on condoms on a dummy *for an entire 1 hour class*... they got the message after that ;)

@JesseBarnett Cool ;) Looks good, although you really might want to break it up. Just post 6 answers ;) I think the IPS solution is already there too, it's JAD's answer ;)

Magisch

@AnneDaunted thing is complaining is hard when the people you'd complain to share the same attitude

Jesse Barnett

yeah, i repeated the two existing answers. added a little but the only real reason i kept them it I thought a complete list might be more useful

Posting 6 answers didn't seem the way to go at the time... If it really is best I don't mind separating it though

Magisch

2:40 PM

@Tinkeringbell our english teacher was less creative. She just transferred off to a different department with mostly girls in the classes.

Tinkeringbell

@JesseBarnett Yeah, please do. I asked JAD and the list shall be made later on, and consist only of those answers that are upvoted on this meta ;)

I'll see if I can link that chat transcript ;)

Jesse Barnett

nah don't worry ill do that now

its not too hard ;)

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch She should have given a lesson and homework on writing proper love letters or something :P

And then read them to class :)

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell You have pretty practical ideas of dealing with stuff like that

My first idea would be to get the harassing students expelled and/or sue them

A J

3 days vacation. \o/

Jesse Barnett

2:52 PM

@Tinkeringbell Meta forcing time between my answers....

spam protection :')

:) done

JAD

3:11 PM

thanks :)

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch oh, sure

Second time though. Everyone gets one educational mistake

sphennings

3:40 PM

@Tinkeringbell I wouldn't call harassment a mistake.

NVZ

3:54 PM

...

Extroverted Main Man

3

Q: How do I politely say to someone that they can't get really drunk at the campsite?

I have a friend and her boyfriend tends to get very hammered. I really enjoy spending time with her but him not so much. I don't want to exclude her from our group campsite but he's an issue. How cam I politely tell her that her boyfriend can't get really drunk with our group at the site witho...

conversations friends conflict-aversion difficult-people

3

Q: How should I tell someone about a potential medical issue?

I have a long history of skin issues, including several different types of cancers. As a result, I see a dermatologist very frequently to have potential areas removed. Because of this, I have become very proficient at tracking certain moles to know when they become a concern, as well as visually ...

conversations

Tinkeringbell

@sphennings there's... gradations... A cat call gets a warning first, a rape a lawyer immediately. Personally, I find it very hard to draw a line between 'inappropriate' and actual harassment

sphennings

First off all harassment is inappropriate. If they're "just" being inappropriate then a warning may be an appropriate response. However they are ostensibly adults at this point and should know better. So any warning they are given should be a harsh one.

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell a rape gets a call to the police department and incarceration until trial, usually, no?

Don't have to civilly sue someone for a criminal action

Tinkeringbell

4:09 PM

@Magisch oh okay, that's good too. I needed a one word thingy, I should have picked judge :P

@sphennings I never said I was nice :P

Magisch

The thing with harassment is its really in the eye of the beholder

I for one don't trust my own judgement of what is and isn't harassment when it pertains to me because someone hugging me by surprise would far exceed in panic/uncomfortableness then most things people actually call harassment

sphennings

@Magisch It sounds like you have a physical boundary that people aren't respecting. Depending on the consent norms in your social circle that's either a problem because people haven't check that it's OK to hug you or it will be as soon as you say "I don't do surprise hugs."

Magisch

I asked a question about that a while back

sphennings

@Magisch I've only started visiting this site recently.

Mithrandir

flag-pls | NLN / AiC | whatever the title is

Magisch

4:15 PM

the long & short of it is people never think I'm serious

and it usually takes a panic reaction I sometimes can't suppress to let them know

sphennings

@Magisch That's rough.

Mithrandir

4:34 PM

r/a interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9557/…

Anne Daunted

I think it's a bit strange that Health and History got the same Favicon. Why not He and Hi, for example?

NVZ

@Mithrandir It's a harmless joke. I welcome some levity at times. The site is getting too serious I think.

Mithrandir

@AnneDaunted I'm not sure - they've been requesting some differentiation since Health.SE went live, I think.

sphennings

@Mithrandir I'm with @NVZ with that comment. It's not a real answer while also poking fun at the problem with "how to I tell people x?" questions.

Unfortunately "Use your big boy words" is a bit too short for an answer.

Mithrandir

Yet if we start leaving them, that sets a bad precedent.

Anne Daunted

4:38 PM

Thanks, Mithrandir! Time passes.

Mithrandir

We have to be stricter about comments here do to the sheer amount we get.

sphennings

@Mithrandir Personally I'm fine with a little peanut gallery in the comments. It becomes a problem when people are offering serious answers.

Mithrandir

I'm not. If we left them we'd be quickly overrun.

I watch all new incoming comments. There are way too many to start deciding to leave some.

If you leave one, then that leads to leaving others.

NVZ

@Mithrandir Fear not, padawan. We are capable of dealing with fun overflow.

sphennings

From my unenlightened position that's how I'd make the distinction if it were up to me. Along with liberal use of the don't answer in the comments comment.

Mithrandir

4:41 PM

Comments are for some very specific purposes. I've seen actual requests for clarification get lost in the flood of jokes/answers in the comments.

Wat?

sphennings

At least the question is now protected. That should help stem the tide of non-answers.

Mithrandir

flag-pls, del-pls | NaA / VLQ | How can I tell my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner?

JAD

it reads like a speach of Donald trump

Mithrandir

flag-pls, del-pls | NaA / VLQ | How can I tell my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner?

Anne Daunted

That question seems to get more attention than the OP at their own dates.

Mithrandir

4:45 PM

flag-pls, del-pls | NaA / VLQ | How can I tell my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner?

JAD

well, it's protected now

Mithrandir

flag-pls, del-pls | NaA / VLQ | How can I tell my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner?

flag-pls | NLN / AiC | How can I tell my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner?

sphennings

@Mithrandir What does NLN and AiC mean?

Mithrandir

NLN = No Longer Need; AiC = Answer in Comment

flag-pls, del-pls | NaA / VLQ | How can I tell my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner?

sphennings

Thanks.

Tinkeringbell

5:38 PM

So, do we have any meta guidance on what to do when you want to address the underlying problem of a situation in an answer?

Catija

@Tinkeringbell Example?

Tinkeringbell

I have seen several answers in the low quality review queue today that do only that, and I'm not sure whether to delete them or not..

This one: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/9598/1599 and this one: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/9545/1599

(I called the second one a frame-challenge, Mith already pointed out that wasn't the correct term for it. So don't chide me on that! :P )

sphennings

@Tinkeringbell I don't know about meta guidance but I think that if they explain why there is a better solution then it's still answers the question.

Tinkeringbell

@sphennings Oh sure... but then I'd like to see that on meta too. I like linking back to community stuff, because I already have a tendency to sound like I'm making laws :P

Catija

Shog's answer does taht... the first rule of SE is "ANSWER THE QUESTION".

14

A: Why was my answer deleted last night?

Your answer fails the most important test: Answers must answer the question What's the question: Title: How do I effectively get people to look past my age when considering my abilities, if they know how old I am? How do I get them to trust my abilities despite my age? Your answer is: ...

12

A: Can answers be off topic? - How to deal with answers that address legal issues

It's not common to refer to an answer as "off-topic", but certainly one of the cardinal sins when answering amounts to the same thing: failing to answer the question. Heck, the most commonly-used flag, available only on answers, is intended for use when... This was posted as an answer, but i...

sphennings

5:42 PM

If I ask "How do I x?" don't just say "Do y instead." Say "This is why x is a bad idea, you can achieve your goal by doing y instead.."

Tinkeringbell

@Catija I don't remember ever reading that one???? Ugh. I've been slacking :P

Catija

This one: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/9598/36 Doesn't help if you're already on a date. Just because the question is specific to first dates doesn't mean it's only about them.

> When I am on a dinner date with a girl, how can I communicate to her that I am annoyed and feel disrespected when she unnecessarily uses her phone to send text messages to her friends?

Mithrandir

Then there's the "Q: I'm in <situation>, and I'd like to do <thing>. How do I do <thing>?" "A: Don't get into <situation>." answers, which are also NaA....

Catija

Eventually, you're going to have to go to dinner with her... :/

Tinkeringbell

@Catija Really? Maybe they're both couch potatoes! :P

Catija

5:45 PM

I already deleted that one, anyway :P

Tinkeringbell

@Catija I noticed :)

Now, the second one? That one would be just as bad, but I think I already messed up there by telling the OP it might be improved :/

Catija

Now I'm going to lunch, so no more flag handling for a bit. But I'm catching up... there's only 26.

... but it stacks comment flags on each post, so there's probably closer to 100. :/

Mithrandir

uh oh, time to step things up

Tinkeringbell

@Catija Enjoy your lunch :)

Catija

@Mithrandir Why do you hate me???

Mithrandir

5:52 PM

~~Cause your hat was too good.~~ I don't... I just hate comments :P

Catija

@Mithrandir Jealously!!!

Rory Alsop

6:35 PM

@Catija happy household here - 3 hat swag packs going to arrive :-)

Catija

@RoryAlsop 3? I saw 2... congrats:)

Rory Alsop

@Catija My two eldest kids were old enough

My youngest is the really creative one, but is under 13

Tinkeringbell

@RoryAlsop I'm glad I saw you mention it, otherwise I would probably have missed that e-mail :)

Rory Alsop

@Tinkeringbell excellent!

Catija

I'm really looking forward to see what they implement next year.

Rory Alsop

6:41 PM

@Catija these are always fun - it's how I get most of my wardrobe :-)

(to my wife's eternal despair...)

Catija

@RoryAlsop ha! Actually I mean which they turn into actual Winter Bash hats.

Rory Alsop

@Catija oh - yes. I can't wait to see how they do yours

I want to see edible texture

Catija

They may not... who knows.

Rory Alsop

They did only say they would do the top scoring one

Tinkeringbell

Sooo...to which profile do I link?

Rory Alsop

6:44 PM

@Tinkeringbell I don't think it matters, but I linked to my SE one

Catija

Whichever you want. I did the MSE profile.

Rory Alsop

the overall one

Mithrandir

I did my Lit one.

Tinkeringbell

Oh okay :) I really wanted to hear 'doesn't matter' so that's good :)

Catija

Usually the forms are used for site swag, so it made sense to link to the relevant one... but I think they're just pulling the username from it.

Tinkeringbell

6:46 PM

Last check: Link is just the URL I see when I'm on my profile page, right? There isn't some supersecret share link button?

Catija

The irony of not getting a hat for this will be... heavy.

Rory Alsop

@Tinkeringbell just that URL - in fact just up to the end of the username is all that is needed

my j key is misbehaving

Mithrandir

You could probably even link to /u/number

Rory Alsop

oh yes, that is what I meant - number, not name

Mithrandir

@RoryAlsop What a jerk.

Tinkeringbell

6:50 PM

@RoryAlsop I put in an URL I hope it works ;)

They're gonna think I'm fat :P

Rory Alsop

@Mithrandir a total erk, I agree!

Catija

7:12 PM

@RoryAlsop I saw yours and Hamish's... what's the third one?

Tinkeringbell

7:59 PM

So, all looks calm, all looks bright.... Goodnight! :)

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Night night!

Extroverted Main Man

8:44 PM

0

Q: How to tell my mother she needs permanent home help

My mother is 86, she has always been very independent and has lived alone since my father died more than 10 years ago. Recently she has passed through a severe health problem and, though she will be discharged from hospital soon, she is considerably weakened, to the point of needing help to walk ...

family elderly

apaul

This one seemed oddly well timed. Was actually thinking about the issue when I stopped at the liquor store this morning to get last minute "supplies" interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9593/…

sphennings

9:00 PM

@apaul We're here for you if you want to talk.

Anne Daunted

Yes, we are listening

Catija

@apaul I thought the whole point of Burns was getting drunk?

apaul

@sphennings Mhmm, riiight...

@Catija It's not the "whole" point, but it does add to the experience ;)

Anne Daunted

Sometimes it seems that the drama on meta surpasses that on the IPS main site ;-)

Catija

Drama on Meta?

apaul

9:03 PM

@AnneDaunted What happened this time?

Anne Daunted

7

Q: How to get a better sense of community going?

I recently noticed a few things that made me worry about the community here. I basically started asking myself if there is one, and if there is, if it's not just a too small clique of users. I noticed: Some questions that are getting close- and downvotes also being upvoted and answered. This...

discussion

apaul

@Catija Never!

Anne Daunted

Currently reading

0

Q: Attending social gathering in presence of my abusers, and making positive relationships

i been victim of domestic violence and the authorities put my dad and brother to stop their behaviour. Deep down themselves, they have not changed but they know they will face consequences, so they acting differently. My problem is social life. Events like wedding, birthday, funeral, dinner at r...

relationships socializing depression substance-abuse taboo

sphennings

@AnneDaunted That sounds like a rough time, and I wish we could help them, but I don't think that question is a good one for this site.

Catija

Is "Drama, on Meta" the IPS equivalent of Harry Potter's "Troll! In the dungeon!"

apaul

9:07 PM

@AnneDaunted Eh, that one's not too bad?

Anne Daunted

@apaul What do you mean?

I didn't read Harry Potter

Catija

Troll in the dungeon [HD]

►

apaul

@AnneDaunted Just sayin that it doesn't look all that dramatic to me... Perhaps comments were removed? Looks like regular old meta squabbling.

@AnneDaunted This one smells a little funny, have you taken a look @Catija ?

TheTinyMan

@apaul An answer was removed, containing some contentiousness in the comments.

Anne Daunted

@apaul I just noticed the deleted answer and the "newest" comments

Catija

9:15 PM

@apaul No. I'm hip deep in flags. ... and actual work.

If you have a concern about a post or comment, please flag it. I think it'd be best to leave "hey mod, look at this for me" stuff out of chat.

2

Anne Daunted

@Catija you think we got a troll?

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Attending social gathering in presence of my abusers, and making positive relationships

I have been the victim of domestic violence and the authorities told my dad and brother to stop their behavior. Deep down themselves, they have not changed but they know they will face consequences, so they are acting differently. My problem is social life. Events like wedding, birthday, funeral...

relationships socializing depression substance-abuse taboo

Anne Daunted

Anybody here?

Catija

Ish.

Anne Daunted

Question about Parenting

Introverted Meta Man.

9:24 PM

0

Q: Why exactly is "unclear" about what this poster is asking? (Addressing unkempt coworker appearance)

I'm slightly confused on why - How to tell a colleague to take care of how he looks - is on hold and I'm wondering if it's salvageable for re-opening if we could clear anything up. The question seems clear to me, so could someone help elaborate the reasoning?

discussion specific-question

Anne Daunted

I edited an answer that contained "sshl*s" (with vocals)

Catija

@AnneDaunted Sure... I don't know the site really well but it's @RoryAlsop domain.

Anne Daunted

It was approved by anongoodnurse, but now the poster rolled back

I had changed it too "mean"

Catija

Link?

Anne Daunted

Is this a reason to flag?

1

A: My daughter hurt a little girl's feelings at a birthday party

As sad as it is, kids are Assholes, and it is our job as adults to slowly teach them to be good people. Of course that won't be over night, instead you will be busy for the next 15 years at least, to show her how to be nice. At the point you are now, there is nothing unusual, she is young and do...

Catija

9:27 PM

@AnneDaunted Yes. Don't get in an edit war, just flag and let the mods know what's up.

Rory Alsop

Sorry - was eating. And drinking. It's Scotland

Catija

@RoryAlsop It's Thursday. :/

Rory Alsop

I'll get a look shortly

Anne Daunted

@Catija Thanks!

sphennings

@AnneDaunted It helps when editing other people's posts to explain why you are making the edit instead of what was edited. If people want to know that they can always read the edit history.

Catija

9:31 PM

Also, you don't have to bowlderize edit reasons.

Mithrandir

Anyone have a link for "try this" answers on meta for me to add to my autocomment?

sphennings

If someone is forgetting to capitalize the first letter of a sentence it's much clearer to say "First letters of a sentence should be capitalized." instead of "Capitalized letters"

Anne Daunted

Thanks again, Catija. I feared some regex may go crazy over it

@sphennings Okay, duly noted. It's just that my edits are usually pretty minor and so I thought they were rather self-expanatory and not too controversial

Catija

5

A: Do we want references in our answers?

I think I'm agreeing with most of the answers here but I would like to add some more detail to flesh this out a bit. Personal experience is great. It's very helpful to share those experiences and note how you think it will relate to the issue the OP is dealing with, particularly as there may not...

@AnneDaunted Nah. Doesn't even go crazy if it's in a post or chat... particularly not "assholes".

Mithrandir

@AnneDaunted The bot (when it's not down) will detect some profanity in comments, and Smokey will detect profanity in posts, but edit summaries are pretty much unmonitered.

Catija

9:35 PM

> Spitballing possible solutions if you've never been in the situation yourself is not helpful and is potentially disastrous for the person asking for help. If you do not know your solution works because you've used it yourself or you've seen it recommended by a reputable* source, do not supply the answer.

@Mithrandir ^^^

Mithrandir

Thanks.

Anne Daunted

I learned a lot again

? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/9620/2625

Mithrandir

Yeah...

Anne Daunted

Flagged it NAA

sphennings

@AnneDaunted The edits may be trivial but by explaining what they are you're making it easier for people to understand what mistakes they made and how to not make them in the future rather than hoping that they will intuit out what they did wrong by careful inspection of the edits. It's a habit I got into by writing to many git commits.

Anne Daunted

9:39 PM

Now you reminded me of git

Mithrandir

> Hey, thanks for the answer! Can you please explain exactly why you think that this is a good idea? Why do you say to take this course of action? What’s the thought process behind this answer? As this currently stands, this is essentially a “Try this!” answer. We require that answers provide some sort of explanation for why they are suggesting this solution, and unfortunately, at the moment this doesn't appear to do that.

Anne Daunted

@sphennings If I change lets to let's for example, I should explain that lets is the 3rd person singular present tense of "let", while let's is the contraption of "let us"?

Mithrandir

Auto-comments updated (designed to work with the AutoReviewComments script).

cc @Tinker

sphennings

@AnneDaunted There is no official policy on the matter. Often when making an edit to a post there are a bunch of spelling and grammar mistakes. I normally say something like "Fix spelling and grammar" rather than detailing out every thing that I'm fixing.

Anne Daunted

that's also what I usually do

JAD

9:46 PM

it's supposed to make your intentions clear, not to give a grammar lesson

sphennings

If you see that a user is continually making the same mistake or you're making a larger change to the text explaining why, is, I think more important.

Anne Daunted

do my edits cause so much trouble?

sphennings

@AnneDaunted Probably not. Removing asshole from that post on parenting was the correct choice.

Rory Alsop

@Catija middle daughter did the one with various fairies and a boomerang

Catija

@RoryAlsop Ah! Sweet! That was cute. She never did explain whether the boomerang was part of the hat or wall art.

is the boomerang part of the hat, or just background? — C8H10N4O2 Dec 18 '17 at 13:13

Rory Alsop

9:53 PM

@Catija today I picked up the first bottling of my whisky. 28 bottles handmade by me, my eldest brother and my son. Is very nice. Perfect timing

@Catija it is on the wall. I'm half Aussie so got it last time I visited the relatives

Catija

@RoryAlsop That's sort of what I figured.

@RoryAlsop Oh, that sounds really cool! Is there a company that does that for you? How old is it?

Rory Alsop

And while a friend made the fairies, she did make the hat

@Catija I helped a startup distillery. In return, we got to distil our own spirit, choose our casks, char them, peat them, choose their prefill, and then lay them down for a few years.

Small casks, so they mature pretty fast. This is a 3 year old, but as you can see from the colour it's about the same as a usual 8 year old

Catija

@RoryAlsop Wow. Nice. Was that a one-time thing or can you repeat it?

Rory Alsop

We can repeat - the same distillery also does our band gin, and is now doing rum

sphennings

@RoryAlsop That's really cool!

Rory Alsop

9:57 PM

They also produce their own award winning gins, and do some for other distilleries

Awesome success story. The head distiller used to be my brother's boss at Sun Microsystems until he decided he didn't really like it

Catija

@RoryAlsop Your band has a gin?

Rory Alsop

Orange peel and black pepper - really delicious

Best merch markup you can get

Beats t-shirts or cd's

Plus, our audience includes a fair few old rockers who like that sort of thing

sphennings

That is a beautiful color.

Rory Alsop

The phone camera exaggerates it a wee bit, but yes

SmokeDetector

10:43 PM

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Offensive answer detected: How do I politely say to someone that they can't get really drunk at the campsite? by Hugh on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell @dhein)

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Offensive answer detected: My best friend's girlfriend keeps changing our plans often. How do I let her know that she should change this behaviour? by Hugh on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell @dhein)

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Offensive answer detected, blacklisted user: How to communicate to coworkers that I am not comfortable with celebratory hugs by Hugh on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell @dhein)

TheTinyMan

It'd be nice if there was a way to flag a user.

SmokeDetector

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Manually reported answer: How to communicate to coworkers that I am not comfortable with celebratory hugs by Hugh on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell @dhein)

Catija

@TheTinyMan Flag any post by them with a custom flag.

TheTinyMan

@Catija So, in need of moderator intervention, and type, "this user is clearly a troll user?"

Catija

@TheTinyMan Might be better to just ask to look into them?

TheTinyMan

10:56 PM

@Catija Er, sure, sorry.

Thanks for your help :-)

Catija

Sure :)

Extroverted Main Man

11:40 PM

0

Q: Is it okay for a foreigner to help a stranger/homeless in US?

I am an international student in the US. I and my American date last night around 11:00 pm, were walking down to her car when a young stranger/homeless guy approached asking if we could buy him food. I totally was about to avoid and walk-on but my date somehow stopped, asked his name and ended up...

conversations united-states relationships politeness etiquette

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