@Simon size matters

@kalina do you have example music?

soundcloud or whatever

@LucasKauffman yes but you missed it

@AJHenderson It's true.

I'm curious

@kalina Look at you trying to be desirable.

@LucasKauffman well that's unfortunate

Keep tryin', keep tryin', one day it might work.

@Simon no, it's fact, after you heard it I deleted it

well, from soundcloud

o

@Simon look at you trying to be clever. Keep tryin', keep tryin', one day it might work.

I'ma get you

Simon's climbing yo windows, he's snatching yo people up.

I've seen you letch over female DJs, I don't need people like you interacting with my real life

SIMON + DJ STEPHANIE 4EVA

@Simon whatabout your gf?

ma poor gf

@LucasKauffman his hand doesn't care

@LucasKauffman Simon described it as "good"

wat

@Simon that's what you said

wot

you asked me why I was throwing the track away because it was pretty good

Oh, you quoted a whole other thing. Women, sigh.

12 discussions at the same time, yo.

...

I knew the "Women" would get the job done.

@AviD wadafuk was that?

I don't know how you can have trouble understanding that. It's pretty straight-forward.

Is that what I said?

A proper answer to my question would have been "It's Doctor Who".

Doctor Who and "pretty straight-forward" usually don't go together.

No, the answer would not be "it's Doctor Who", it would be "it's a scene from Doctor Who", if anything.

Man, you can be really anal sometimes.

You'd like that, wouldn't you.

@Simon that's what... nevermind.

Is there a problem with that?

God, RMS can be a real nutjob at times.

@TerryChia "at times"?

@AviD Ok fine. :P

"There there Richard, time for your medication."

GAWD listening to him makes me want to kick him in the face.

@AviD yes they do, so does "Doctor Who" and "is pretty lame"

If I cared about him, he would be the main reason for me to stop using Linux. Y'know, if I was already using Linux.

people use Linux?

> Ubuntu is spyware.

I thought they installed it as part of some weird cult coming of age ceremony

battle of attrition

"Can you install Gentoo from stage one without documentation"

0.0000001% of people survive

@AviD You know who's behind Canonical?

The American government!

@LucasKauffman Bill Gates

@LucasKauffman Steve Jobs

@kalina NSA

@LucasKauffman Anal Dwelling Monkies

@LucasKauffman yo momma

@LucasKauffman Stack Exchange

@LucasKauffman THE NORTH SYRIA ALLIANCE OWNS CANONICAL?

@AviD that would be fucking awesome

ZOMG

I'm surprised it doesn't kernel panic by pumping the room full of chemical weapons

@LucasKauffman Ask Ubuntu

drawing all over people's faces with a highlighter pen

got myself some chicken soup

"May contain meat" on a packet of meat

on the count of three and if you've got the energy

bored bored bored

bored boredb ored

bored bored bored

bored bored bored

GOOD AFTERNOON

EVERYBODY HERE IS DEAD RIGHT NOW

So I just hit a bird with my car

please leave a requiem after the tone

@DavidFreitag you are evil

@DavidFreitag was it an ostrich?

I always stop for small animals

It was sitting in the road and saw me and was like, shit shit shit and tried to fly away

I am responsible for a total of ZERO rabbit deaths

as far as I remember*

But it was so fat it didn't get high enough and it slammed into my windshield

@DavidFreitag WOW

@kalina ಠ_ಠ

I hope you feel bad

@DavidFreitag This made me chuckle.

I felt horrible, but it was still flying afterwards

@FEichinger you too, I hope you feel bad as well

@kalina For what, exactly?

But it was hysterical. All i hear is BAM.. I look back and there's just a bunch of feathers in the air

@FEichinger there is probably a reason for you to be feeling bad right now

@kalina I don't think so, no.

what about being male?

I mean, I feel pretty dead right now, but nothing to feel bad about ...

that's a pretty good reason to feel bad

sigh

ok fine

something a little less sexist

how about being a PHP developer? That's a pretty good reason to feel bad

OH SCREW YOU.

there there, let all your anger out

@FEichinger Whiskey will solve all your problems.

@kalina Is developer the right word?

Wait what? He's a PHP developer? HA!

@TerryChia ಠ_ಠ

@TerryChia you're right

it's an insult to developers everywhere

It must feel pretty awful to be laughed at by me.

@fei how about being laughed at by Simon? That's a pretty good reason to feel bad!

Ladies and Gentlemen, please redirect all your PHP hate towards @Simon, since he uses that crap, too.

oh this isn't hate

@FEichinger Yes, but we already have other stuff to mock him about.

^

@FEichinger We hate @Simon for many other things.

Piling on about PHP on him just seems mean.

Also, I do .NET sometimes too.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

piling on simon about php is just too trivial, he's got so many much easier things to exploit

it's almost not worth our time

@Simon What's wrong with .Net?

we can make fun of Simon by just saying:

@Simon

@DavidFreitag Nothing, I actually quite like it.

hah!

@DavidFreitag Mostly the fact that @Simon is using it.

I do all of my programming in QBasic. I am leet programmeress. I make things.

I program in binary.

YAY BINARY \o/

@DavidFreitag Using butterflies I presume?

I program in heteronary

01001001001000000110110001101111011101100110010100100000011000100110100101101110‌​011000010111001001111001001000000111001101101111001000000110110101110101011000110‌​110100000100001001000000100100101110100001001110111001100100000011101000110100001‌​100101001000000110001001100101011100110111010001100101011100110111010000100000011‌​101000110100001101001011011100110011100100000011001010111011001100101011100100010‌​1110

@TerryChia Pfft. Dragonflies.

@DavidFreitag Ooooh. That's like some advanced shit right there.

GUYS I BROUGHT A JELL-O IN MY LUNCH, WOOHOO

@kalina No.

@TerryChia Well I should say genetically modified dragonflies. They are the size of a house and they have laser beams strapped to their heads.

@FEichinger 01011001011001010111001100100000011010010111010000100000011010010111001100101110‌​001000000100010001101111011011100010011101110100001000000110110001101001011001010‌​0101110

Doz and Hex is where it's at.

your face

@FEichinger Do you often use these in PHP?

@Simon no but he uses PHP every day

including the days he's not at work

because he loves the language and thinks it's the shit.

@kalina Wow, he must really hate himself.

he PHPs in his sleep

that's why he only sleeps for four hours at a time

the nightmares...

the memory leaks...

@kalina My hate for PHP is well-documented.

@FEichinger I have yet to see that wiki.

years from now we'll find out that @fei actually created PHP, which is why he loves it so much

@FEichinger That doesn't sound like PHP.

@TerryChia "well-documented" for PHP standards, silly.

Oh what now, PHP isn't well-documented?

UNSTAR THAT SHIT NOW

When I feel bad about the code I write, I open up PHP's source and tell myself that no matter how awful my code is, it isn't as bad as that.

Oh the source, lulz.

To the source Neo

Jeuss, you guys are assjerks.

I just made up that insult, I hope you like it.

ass...jerks?

how do you jerk ass?

I DON'T NEED AN ANSWER HOLY CRAP DONKEY JERKING

runs away crying

wat

Fuck me, it feels so much like Friday.

tomorrow is our team bbq, this is going to be awesome

you're BBQ'ing your team tomorrow?

@Simon Assjerk? What is that a new form of twerking or something?

No, the team is grilling llamas.

^ this

@DavidFreitag You tell me, you little poney.

@kalina you didn't run away for long then

I'm still finding it hard to believe that I brought a lunch to work and that I cooked it myself.

@Simon I'm finding it harder to believe you work.

@Iszi Wal-mart needs cart boys.

@RоryMcCune I have equipped a rare item which provides resilience +255

there's more to it than that but I got bored with the concept the moment I started

@LucasKauffman I hope that is true.

Oh god dammit. >.>

i <3 a foreach inside of a foreach inside of a foreach

@FEichinger You do that all the time too in PHP, right?

@Simon What's wrong with that? Three-dimensional data is awesome.

@DavidFreitag Nothing, I'm doing it right now lulz

@DavidFreitag There's a ST:NG joke in there somewhere, but I'm too lazy to figure it up.

@Simon Sounds like some of my PowerShell scripts.

Why is it so damn difficult to find a stamp

For a good laugh:

uh...

wat

@Iszi wat.

Sounds like someone needs a public whipping.

retards, retards everywhere

@Arperum They're getting one. Troy Hunt's on it.

@Iszi Good.

My bff Troy

@Simon No. Bad. Really bad.

Particularly bad in PHP, actually.

Not too bad in other languages.

Now that was much better. Awesome.

GOD DAMMIT.

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS COMPLAIN?

YOU'RE WORSE THAN MY BITCHY EX WHO WOULDN'T SHUT THE FUCK UP

BECAUSE YOU GENUINELY LIKE PHP, AND WE'RE GETTING KICKED OUT OF THE WORLD CUP BY URUGUAY.

I NEVER SAID THAT I LIKE IT AND NOBODY GIVES A DAMN ABOUT FUCKING SOCCER/FOOTBALL OR CALL IT WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY

hey, take your domestic dispute off of public chat!

sorry

GET IN YOUR ROOM @FEichinger

sigh

@Simon Hush you.

I'm leaving now and not coming back until at least tomorrow, enjoy your break.

@FEichinger You deserve it.

You're so grumpy that I'm thinking that you might be stealing @Iszi's title of the grumpiest man in The DMZ

theoatmeal.com/quiz/got_character

I AM HERE

dun dun duuuuuuuuuunnnnnnn

nevermind, I am no longer here

@kalina Psh!

@Simon jesus Simon, you're not still upset about a girl who left you 3 years ago, are you?