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[primes dice]
12:01 AM
I do not fail to do anything!
You're running it, I assume.
I assume.
Disappointing turnout from the peanut gallery.
Let me give the rules one more quick runthrough.
What's the setting?
A tavern, natch.
I suppose I should make a character.
Ummm. Bartender?
12:07 AM
I keep calling it microdungeon.
Oh well.
Aerich the Unworldly, Barsweep and General Errand Boy
- Do Anything 1
I'm thinking Aerich's the towny version of Taran, Assistant Pig-Keeper.
Personality-wise, anyway.
It's a quiet night at the tavern (already a quarter of nine and only three drunken brawls and two broken chairs), and the bartender has been having you run the dullest of errands. Suddenly, a man bursts through the door, turban askew, shouting "Spam in the staaack goblins in the sewers!"
There is general bedlam for a few minutes as all the adventurers and would-be adventurers drunkenly grab their gear and charge out the door. The bartender (a former adventurer himself who occasionally pines for the glory days) looks you in the eye and says gruffly, "Stay here, boy." before exiting the building and leaving you quite alone.
Naturally, I look for something to arm myself with before choosing whether to stay or go.
12:13 AM
Prove it.
Finder's Keepers 2?
I was thinking Improvisation 2
12:14 AM
Good enough for the pig keeper tavern boy.
What do you find?
I equip myself with the lid of a pickle barrel and the leg of one of the broken chairs.
A mostly-empty stewpot serves as a helmet.
@C.Ross [vigorous waving]
Would you like to join us?!
For a few
The drunk in the corner lifts his head off the table and attempts to sober up
@Problematic roll to sober up?
12:17 AM
You fail, not quite dramatically, but you're still seeing double.
"Hey kid, where are you going with that shield ... and stuff"
12:18 AM
I pause, and decide to decide if I'm going to stay here as ordered.
[@C.Ross Which would you prefer? I'm kinda hoping to stay here and have goblins attack the tavern.]
@BESW [Works for me, I'm not sure I could go anywhere]
12:20 AM
(@BESW you get another skill, yes?)
"Nowhere, sir. I just want to be prepared if the goblins come here!"
[Yes... Obedience 2.]
"Goblins, here?"
The drunk looks out the window to see if he see's any goblins
12:21 AM
... he does not.
do I still get a new skill?
"In the sewers, sir! And with the garderobe in the state it's in, I don't want to take any chances!"
The drunk gets a new skill though.
@Problematic and an XP methinks (still a failure)
[I want Hobbs to be the goblin!]
12:22 AM
@C.Ross Ayup! Pretty much the best way that could have gone.
No goblins out the window, but you hear a crash, a thump, and a squeal coming from the storeroom.
A grating, nasally voice says, "Watch it, Ichabod! Someone will hear us!"
"Am I hearing things?"
[Whose turn is it?]
[I'm not sure it matters?]
"AAAAAAAH!" I scream, and grab something to bar the storeroom door.
I roll to be a sneaky goblin
12:25 AM
12:25 AM
@BESW you grab a dirty dishtowel hanging nearby
[Who was that roll opposing, @Problematic?]
@JonathanHobbs sneaky goblin it is!
I tie it around the door handle! Unfortunately, there's nothing to tie the other end to.
12:26 AM
Sneaky 2
[Do I have to roll to be ineffective?]
[I daresay not]
I think I am not Ichobod or the idiot goblin he's with, because I am a sneaky goblin. I'm one of the other goblins.
The noises from the storeroom stop, and after a moment you hear, sotto voce, "Did you hear that?" "I did! It sounded like a pig!"
(or am I?)
12:27 AM
@JonathanHobbs that's fine.
@C.Ross what are you drunkenly doing?
I roll to be a goblin in the store room who is not Ichabod or the other idiot!
The drunk roars "Who are you calling a pig!" in an intimidating fashion
12:28 AM
@C.Ross You do the title "drunkard" proud as you bellow something that sounds more like "Herpa cally glug!" and tip off your stool in as un-intimidating a fashion as possible.
@JonathanHobbs [no need to roll; what is the sneaky goblin doing?]
[@C.Ross You might want to be spending XP for advancement?]
The sneaky goblin is going to hiss at those idiots to shut their yaps
12:31 AM
@BESW true, I'll spend an XP to gain intimidating
[why 2d6?]
[oh, sneakily shutting traps?]
12:32 AM
(sneakiness? yes that)
The other two goblins clap their hands over their mouths and look at you expectantly with bulging eyes.
(I suggest they both oppose it via 2d6. two goblins worth of noisy bumbling)
[I'm not going to be tracking other peoples' XP from now on.]
[now that the goblins have a leader, I'm going to let you guys drive most of the narrative?]
The drunk falls over into a stupor again. [Got to run guys]
12:34 AM
That's not good odds for the tavern boy!
I'm going to find something to push in front of the door.
Wait, sorry, that's wrong.
12:35 AM
(I think I should've rolled 2 last time, too... oh, well.)
You win! What do you find?
...the drunk.
You find him, but he's exceedingly heavy. I wonder if you can move him.
12:36 AM
So do I!
Surprisingly slide-y for an unconscious drunk, you get him in front of the door.
Spending my XP to get Using Other People 3 on that roll to find the drunk.
12:38 AM
Goblins, you hear a thump on the door and a grumbling groan.
@JonathanHobbs I think you should be goblin-leader-y now.
The goblins reach for the door handle. I roll to see if the door opens inwards.
12:39 AM
It most certainly does!
I grab the towel tied to the handle and pull!
That'd be opposed against you, @JonathanHobbs
The goblins pull! HRRNG
12:40 AM
Those muscles aren't just for show, ladies! The barsweep wrenches the door shut against you!
(you might should expend your XP for "opening stuck things 2" or something)
(I'll save that XP)
I shout at the goblins to leave me alone.
The goblins respond with verbal abuse
12:43 AM
I work at a seedy bar, and I've not heard some of those words before.
The sneaky goblin commander is now Ignibod. Not to be confused with his appalling cousin Ichabod.
Ignibod rolls to pull the pins out of the door hinges.
(it's not a very well-made door)
12:44 AM
I use an XP point for Breaking Things 3
You'd need 2. All sixes?
Blast! I try to hold the door in place anyway.
Oh! It needs to be all sixes?
Looks like.
12:45 AM
Oh, right, then I can't have Using Other People 3. [deletes, restores XP] carry on.
Oh, missed that.
Okay, so the matter of the door at hand!
There's a fat man with his weight on the door and he's holding the entire thing up by a washtowel on the handle on one side!
So show him he can't do that!
@JonathanHobbs I think you need to oppose my roll.
12:47 AM
I say the fat man opposes his roll with his weight.
Just roll the dice.
Wow this tavern boy is good.
Who knows how he did it, but he did!
12:48 AM
Ichabod tries to smash the door handle out of its socket.
Using the skull of the third goblin, he manages to do just that.
Ichabod (not Ignibod) picks up Smashing Things 2
12:49 AM
(let's just call it Ignibod and say he has a number of useless lackeys around as foils)
Yes, that seems good.
(Well I mean, there's Ignibod who pulled out the door hinges, and Ichabod who smashed the handle)
(But I should find a better name for Ignibod :D)
And let's have the drunk just be a prop from now on.
Jebediah, the drunk doorstop
He is now Grugmok
Grugmok the Sneaky and Ichabod the Smashy
12:50 AM
@JonathanHobbs You, your rolls, and your skills now represent all the goblins combined?
@BESW Two Goblins.
(I think?)
We're retconning.
(Unless I'm just one goblin with lackeys and I just represent all of them)
@JonathanHobbs yes, that one
@JonathanHobbs I think that's easier.
12:51 AM
And, yes, because the third goblin just got his skull used as a hammer...
Ichabod and his Goblin buddies (XP: I )
Do Anything 1
Sneaky 2
Smashing Things 2
I scream again as the handle comes flying out of the door.
I run for cover.
No... that's improv again...
12:52 AM
(Is it really improv?)
I'm finding a place to hide?
It's not like the bar comes with foxholes and bunkers.
12:53 AM
I guess so
I'm going to say the bar has Being Open 2
... but not that open. An overturned table, perhaps?
Okay, and I have Getting Out of the Way 3.
Goblins! There be squealing pigmanflesh just beyond the door that you smashered! Wotcher?
12:55 AM
@JohnP Our tracking doc if you'd like to follow along.
@BESW - thanks.
Wait, no. We run around and start smashing up chairs and bottles and barrels!
12:56 AM
The poor defenseless bar doesn't stand a chance against the might of your Smashing Things
Chaos! Sweet beautiful cacophany!
I can't stand the thought of trying to clean all that up, and have to do something to try and stop it.
I try to think of a plan.
12:57 AM
(Planning is not improvisational.)
Your brain says no. You panic, barsweep.
"AAAAAAAAH! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CLEAN THAT UP!" I charge out from behind the table and swing at the nearest goblin's head with my club.
The goblin rolls to keep his head intact.
12:58 AM
[my favorite part is that both parties can gain skills from the same conflict]
I now also have Smashing Things 2.
[!! I just remembered that I have a client meeting in 30 minutes. That's... bad and I have to go for a while.]
@Problematic ttfn!
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