The Back Room: Live Tabletop Games

It's a quiet night at the tavern (already a quarter of nine and only three drunken brawls and two broken chairs), and the bartender has been having you run the dullest of errands. Suddenly, a man bursts through the door, turban askew, shouting "~~Spam in the staaack~~ goblins in the sewers!"

There is general bedlam for a few minutes as all the adventurers and would-be adventurers drunkenly grab their gear and charge out the door. The bartender (a former adventurer himself who occasionally pines for the glory days) looks you in the eye and says gruffly, "Stay here, boy." before exiting the building and leaving you quite alone.

BESW

Naturally, I look for something to arm myself with before choosing whether to stay or go.

Problematic

12:13 AM

Prove it.

1d6

•

1d6

•

Finder's Keepers 2?

BESW

I was thinking Improvisation 2

Problematic

12:14 AM

Good enough for the ~~pig keeper~~ tavern boy.

What do you find?

BESW

I equip myself with the lid of a pickle barrel and the leg of one of the broken chairs.

A mostly-empty stewpot serves as a helmet.

Problematic

@C.Ross [vigorous waving]

Would you like to join us?!

C. Ross

For a few

Problematic

docs.google.com/document/d/… tracking sheet

C. Ross

The drunk in the corner lifts his head off the table and attempts to sober up

@Problematic roll to sober up?

Problematic

12:17 AM

Ayup.

1d6

•

1d6

•

You fail, not quite dramatically, but you're still seeing double.

C. Ross

"Hey kid, where are you going with that shield ... and stuff"

BESW

12:18 AM

I pause, and decide to decide if I'm going to stay here as ordered.

1d6

•

1d6

•

[@C.Ross Which would you prefer? I'm kinda hoping to stay here and have goblins attack the tavern.]

C. Ross

@BESW [Works for me, I'm not sure I could go anywhere]

Problematic

12:20 AM

(@BESW you get another skill, yes?)

BESW

"Nowhere, sir. I just want to be prepared if the goblins come here!"

[Yes... Obedience 2.]

C. Ross

"Goblins, here?"

The drunk looks out the window to see if he see's any goblins

1d6

•

1d6

•

12:21 AM

... he does not.

C. Ross

do I still get a new skill?

BESW

"In the sewers, sir! And with the garderobe in the state it's in, I don't want to take any chances!"

Problematic

The drunk gets a new skill though.

C. Ross

@Problematic and an XP methinks (still a failure)

BESW

[I want Hobbs to be the goblin!]

Problematic

12:22 AM

@C.Ross Ayup! Pretty much the best way that could have gone.

No goblins out the window, but you hear a crash, a thump, and a squeal coming from the storeroom.

A grating, nasally voice says, "Watch it, Ichabod! Someone will hear us!"

C. Ross

"Am I hearing things?"

BESW

[Whose turn is it?]

Problematic

[I'm not sure it matters?]

BESW

"AAAAAAAH!" I scream, and grab something to bar the storeroom door.

doppelgreener

I roll to be a sneaky goblin

BESW

12:25 AM

1d6

•

d6

•

d6

•

12:25 AM

...

@BESW you grab a dirty dishtowel hanging nearby

BESW

[Who was that roll opposing, @Problematic?]

Problematic

d6

Dice Service

•

Problematic

@JonathanHobbs sneaky goblin it is!

BESW

I tie it around the door handle! Unfortunately, there's nothing to tie the other end to.

doppelgreener

12:26 AM

Sneaky 2

BESW

[Do I have to roll to be ineffective?]

Problematic

[I daresay not]

doppelgreener

I think I am not Ichobod or the idiot goblin he's with, because I am a sneaky goblin. I'm one of the other goblins.

Problematic

The noises from the storeroom stop, and after a moment you hear, sotto voce, "Did you hear that?" "I did! It sounded like a pig!"

doppelgreener

Ichabod*

(or am I?)

Problematic

12:27 AM

@JonathanHobbs that's fine.

@C.Ross what are you drunkenly doing?

doppelgreener

I roll to be a goblin in the store room who is not Ichabod or the other idiot!

C. Ross

The drunk roars "Who are you calling a pig!" in an intimidating fashion

d6

•

1d6

12:28 AM

•

Problematic

d6

Dice Service

•

Problematic

@C.Ross You do the title "drunkard" proud as you bellow something that sounds more like "Herpa cally glug!" and tip off your stool in as un-intimidating a fashion as possible.

@JonathanHobbs [no need to roll; what is the sneaky goblin doing?]

BESW

[@C.Ross You might want to be spending XP for advancement?]

doppelgreener

The sneaky goblin is going to hiss at those idiots to shut their yaps

C. Ross

12:31 AM

@BESW true, I'll spend an XP to gain intimidating

2d6

•

1d6

•

[why 2d6?]

[oh, sneakily shutting traps?]

doppelgreener

12:32 AM

(sneakiness? yes that)

Problematic

The other two goblins clap their hands over their mouths and look at you expectantly with bulging eyes.

doppelgreener

(I suggest they both oppose it via 2d6. two goblins worth of noisy bumbling)

BESW

[I'm not going to be tracking other peoples' XP from now on.]

Problematic

[now that the goblins have a leader, I'm going to let you guys drive most of the narrative?]

C. Ross

The drunk falls over into a stupor again. [Got to run guys]

Problematic

12:34 AM

That's not good odds for the tavern boy!

BESW

I'm going to find something to push in front of the door.

1d6

•

1d6

•

Wait, sorry, that's wrong.

2d6

Dice Service

12:35 AM

•

BESW

(I think I should've rolled 2 last time, too... oh, well.)

Problematic

You win! What do you find?

BESW

...the drunk.

doppelgreener

XD

Problematic

You find him, but he's exceedingly heavy. I wonder if you can move him.

BESW

12:36 AM

So do I!

1d6

•

1d6

•

Surprisingly slide-y for an unconscious drunk, you get him in front of the door.

BESW

Spending my XP to get Using Other People 3 on that roll to find the drunk.

Problematic

12:38 AM

Goblins, you hear a thump on the door and a grumbling groan.

BESW

@JonathanHobbs I think you should be goblin-leader-y now.

doppelgreener

The goblins reach for the door handle. I roll to see if the door opens inwards.

1d6

•

1d6

•

12:39 AM

It most certainly does!

BESW

I grab the towel tied to the handle and pull!

1d6

Dice Service

•

Problematic

That'd be opposed against you, @JonathanHobbs

doppelgreener

The goblins pull! HRRNG

1d6

Dice Service

•

Problematic

12:40 AM

Those muscles aren't just for show, ladies! The barsweep wrenches the door shut against you!

(you might should expend your XP for "opening stuck things 2" or something)

doppelgreener

(I'll save that XP)

BESW

I shout at the goblins to leave me alone.

1d6

Dice Service

•

doppelgreener

The goblins respond with verbal abuse

1d6

Dice Service

•

BESW

12:43 AM

I work at a seedy bar, and I've not heard some of those words before.

doppelgreener

The sneaky goblin commander is now Ignibod. Not to be confused with his appalling cousin Ichabod.

Ignibod rolls to pull the pins out of the door hinges.

2d6

•

1d6

•

(it's not a very well-made door)

doppelgreener

12:44 AM

I use an XP point for Breaking Things 3

Problematic

You'd need 2. All sixes?

BESW

Blast! I try to hold the door in place anyway.

doppelgreener

Oh! It needs to be all sixes?

Problematic

Looks like.

BESW

1d6

Dice Service

12:45 AM

•

BESW

Oh, right, then I can't have Using Other People 3. [deletes, restores XP] carry on.

Problematic

Oh, missed that.

Okay, so the matter of the door at hand!

doppelgreener

There's a fat man with his weight on the door and he's holding the entire thing up by a washtowel on the handle on one side!

Problematic

So show him he can't do that!

BESW

@JonathanHobbs I think you need to oppose my roll.

doppelgreener

12:47 AM

I say the fat man opposes his roll with his weight.

y/n?

Just roll the dice.

1d6

•

Wow this tavern boy is good.

Problematic

Who knows how he did it, but he did!

doppelgreener

12:48 AM

Ichabod tries to smash the door handle out of its socket.

1d6

•

1d6

•

Using the skull of the third goblin, he manages to do just that.

doppelgreener

Ichabod (not Ignibod) picks up Smashing Things 2

Excellent!

Problematic

12:49 AM

(let's just call it Ignibod and say he has a number of useless lackeys around as foils)

BESW

Yes, that seems good.

doppelgreener

(Well I mean, there's Ignibod who pulled out the door hinges, and Ichabod who smashed the handle)

(But I should find a better name for Ignibod :D)

BESW

And let's have the drunk just be a prop from now on.

Problematic

Jebediah, the drunk doorstop

doppelgreener

He is now Grugmok

Grugmok the Sneaky and Ichabod the Smashy

BESW

12:50 AM

@JonathanHobbs You, your rolls, and your skills now represent all the goblins combined?

doppelgreener

@BESW Two Goblins.

(I think?)

Problematic

We're retconning.

doppelgreener

(Unless I'm just one goblin with lackeys and I just represent all of them)

Problematic

@JonathanHobbs yes, that one

BESW

@JonathanHobbs I think that's easier.

doppelgreener

12:51 AM

Okay

BESW

And, yes, because the third goblin just got his skull used as a hammer...

doppelgreener

Ichabod and his Goblin buddies (XP: I )
Do Anything 1
Sneaky 2
Smashing Things 2

Problematic

Perfect.

BESW

I scream again as the handle comes flying out of the door.

I run for cover.

No... that's improv again...

Dice Service

•

BESW

12:52 AM

2d6

•

BAM.

[blink]

(Is it really improv?)

BESW

I'm finding a place to hide?

It's not like the bar comes with foxholes and bunkers.

doppelgreener

12:53 AM

I guess so

Problematic

I'm going to say the bar has Being Open 2

2d6

Dice Service

•

Problematic

... but not that open. An overturned table, perhaps?

BESW

Okay, and I have Getting Out of the Way 3.

Problematic

Goblins! There be squealing pigmanflesh just beyond the door that you smashered! Wotcher?

BESW

12:55 AM

@JohnP Our tracking doc if you'd like to follow along.

doppelgreener

We CHASE HIM.

JohnP

@BESW - thanks.

doppelgreener

Wait, no. We run around and start smashing up chairs and bottles and barrels!

2d6

Dice Service

•

Problematic

1d6

Dice Service

12:56 AM

•

Problematic

The poor defenseless bar doesn't stand a chance against the might of your Smashing Things

doppelgreener

Chaos! Sweet beautiful cacophany!

BESW

I can't stand the thought of trying to clean all that up, and have to do something to try and stop it.

I try to think of a plan.

1d6

Dice Service

•

Problematic

1d6

Dice Service

12:57 AM

•

BESW

(Planning is not improvisational.)

Problematic

Your brain says no. You panic, barsweep.

BESW

"AAAAAAAAH! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CLEAN THAT UP!" I charge out from behind the table and swing at the nearest goblin's head with my club.

1d6

Dice Service

•

doppelgreener

!!

The goblin rolls to keep his head intact.

1d6

Dice Service

12:58 AM

•

Problematic

[my favorite part is that both parties can gain skills from the same conflict]

doppelgreener

[wonderful]

BESW

I now also have Smashing Things 2.

Problematic

[!! I just remembered that I have a client meeting in 30 minutes. That's... bad and I have to go for a while.]

BESW

@Problematic ttfn!

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