The Frying Pan

Jolenealaska

12:00 PM

One last bit of trivia?

Julia Child was over 40 when she started cooking.

American cooking competition - "I'm here to kick butt and chew gum, and I'm fresh out of gum"

Appetizer round: Fish Carcasses, tasso ham, calabrian chiles and purple potatoes. You have 20 minutes, time starts now.

Tasso ham

Tasso ham is a specialty of south Louisiana cuisine. It is a spicy, peppery version of smoked pork made from the shoulder butt. In this case "ham" is a misnomer since tasso is not made from the hind leg of a pig. This cut is typically fatty, and because the muscle is constantly used by the animal, has a great deal of flavor. The butt, which will weigh 7 to 8 pounds, is sliced across the grain into pieces about 3 in (7.5 cm) thick. These are dredged in a salt cure, which usually includes nitrites and sugar. The meat is left to cure briefly, only three or four hours, then rinsed, rubbed with a spice...

Even Anne is looking askance at that one.

ElendilTheTall

pfff, easy

do you have to use all the ingredients?

Jolenealaska

Yep. Missing one isn't a disqualification, but they don't win that way. The have a full pantry and fridge too.

ElendilTheTall

I'd make a chilli and ham potato cake

Jolenealaska

They are judged on taste, presentation and creativity.

ElendilTheTall

discard the fish carcasses, because that just doesn't go, and because fish

Jolenealaska

12:15 PM

Every once and a while a contestant really, really hates an ingredient.

Not just dislike...

Or they're allergic.

"I'd really like to be able to taste this shrimp before I present it to the judges."

And there is often blood.

The judges don't like that.

ElendilTheTall

blood?

Jolenealaska

Rushing with knives.

ElendilTheTall

ah

I thought you meant rare meat, which sounded wrong on numerous levels

Jolenealaska

That won't happen today, but usually the contestants are up and comers, not highly established chefs.

This tourney is a yearly thing.

ElendilTheTall

tourney? do they joust?

Jolenealaska

12:20 PM

All-Stars Tournament

ElendilTheTall

so say tournament for crying out loud! :P

Jolenealaska

Possibly...I wouldn't put it past Anne!

Her nephew has Juvenile Diabetes, she's deadly serious.

One of them is making fresh ravioli, filled with the tasso and potatoes with a fumet based sauce. In 20 minutes.

ElendilTheTall

potato cakes I tell ya

or even rosti

a nice crisp rosti enlivened with salty ham and chilli

Jolenealaska

The purple is sooo ugly!

ElendilTheTall

serve with a poached egg

Jolenealaska

12:30 PM

I like putting an egg yolk in fresh ravioli.

ElendilTheTall

I've never made it

nor will I, after my first and only attempt at making pasta

Jolenealaska

It's super easy for being so impressive.

Yes, you told me :)

ElendilTheTall

i'm sure

give me sheets of pre-rolled pasta and I'm sure I could knock ravioli out all day

Jolenealaska

Yes, you were quite emphatic about it. I have done that, I've also done it with wonton wrappers. But I can make pasta in my sleep, it's easy once you work out the kinks.

And you can feed an army for nothing!

chow.com/recipes/…

ElendilTheTall

meh. I will stick to dried

Jolenealaska

12:37 PM

I think I would say that but for the egg yolk filling.

Especially if you're trying to impress!

ElendilTheTall

I'm married, who am I looking to impress?

Jolenealaska

:)

ElendilTheTall

beef wellington, now there's an impressive dish

everyone does it the wrong damn way

sticking raw meat in a pastry case then having to time it all to perfection to get the pastry and the meat right.

Jolenealaska

Yes! What is wrong?

ElendilTheTall

Cook the meat first, underdoing it a little

Jolenealaska

12:50 PM

Oh, sear the meat!

ElendilTheTall

Yes! virtually cook it to readiness

The pastry barely takes any time in a hot oven

Jolenealaska

To a solid rare, then the duxelles and pastry.

ElendilTheTall

and because all the juices have rested out of it the first time, you don't have to worry too much about soggy pastry either

mini ones are easy to make that way too

filet en croute

Jolenealaska

Yep! I have never made my own pastry, though.

ElendilTheTall

now that pastry is easy. just use a food processor

I used to make all-butter pie pastry with a hand dough cutter

agony

now I just do it in the blender. it works out even better because you hardly touch it

~~blender~~ food processor

Jolenealaska

12:53 PM

I watched Paul Hollywood do his quicky puff pastry, but I haven't done it.

But I did use his technique for my croissants.

I like Alton Brown's applejack (or other high proof alcohol) trick for pie dough.

I'm interested in doing a Pate en Croute, but not of liver. I have a pan that I think would work beautifully.

ElendilTheTall

Pork wellington

why have I never made a pork tenderloin wellington?

with an apple or apricot 'duxelle'

or even a black pudding duxelle

Jolenealaska

I cannot look at a pork tenderloin without thinking of the Iowan sandwich. Other than that (and schnitzel) I'm not crazy about pork tenderloin.

ElendilTheTall

reverse that for all pork but tenderloin for me

I hate fatty pork

everyone raves about pork belly - no fucking thank you

bleugh

Jolenealaska

Yes, we have been down this road :) I love me some pork fat!

Faheem and I discussed pork at some length earlier today.

Smoking helps. Canadian Bacon isn't bad, but I like streaky better.

ElendilTheTall

1:10 PM

both have their place

streaky is good for wrapping around meat

back bacon is my preference for eating as a food in its own right

it just has more meat

my dad hated anything smoked

Jolenealaska

Is "back bacon" loin?

ElendilTheTall

I used to say to him, if it's not smoked, it's not bacon

back bacon = canadian bacon

Jolenealaska

That's what I figured.

I like Eggs Benedict and sandwiches made with Canadian Bacon, but I'm not in love.

ElendilTheTall

with our current eating plan, we can eat as much bacon as we like, after cutting off the fat

Jolenealaska

Now a BLT, that's a sandwich.

ElendilTheTall

1:14 PM

suits me just fine!

the T in my BLTs comes from tomato ketchup. I loathe raw tomato

there is nothing good about them and I don't care what you say

they are sour and vile

Jolenealaska

I can count on two fingers the number of times I've had ketchup in the last few years.

A juicy tomato is one of my favorite things.

I'll eat it like an apple.

ElendilTheTall

bleugh

Jolenealaska

Of course good tomatoes are available for like 3 days every summer.

ElendilTheTall

the only good tomato is a ~~dead~~ cooked tomato!

you know what's really good on a BLT - lemon and black pepper mayo

Jolenealaska

I didn't like tomatoes until I was like 30.

And then it was like a switch was flipped.

Same with grapefruit.

Faheem Mitha

1:20 PM

I like tomatoes. But it can be hard to get good ones. Actual proper grown ones are good. Like from a Farmer's Market.

As opposed to supermarket ones.

Jolenealaska

Yep.

ElendilTheTall

ugh, grapefruit

Jolenealaska

Or a neighbor with a garden.

Faheem Mitha

On the subject of fatty meat. Is ham fatty? And if so, is there such a thing as lean ham?

Jolenealaska

Yes, and yes!

ElendilTheTall

1:21 PM

evidently the bitterness tastebuds in my tongue are still well developed

@FaheemMitha wafer thin, lean, smoked ham is a beautiful thing

good bread, english mustard

it's all you need

Jolenealaska

The fat in ham is in pockets, so it can be trimmed away.

Also, ham in the US is often pre-trimmed.

Faheem Mitha

@ElendilTheTall beautiful thing, but possibly not available here. is smoked ham lean by definition? or not?

@ElendilTheTall Wow, that's practically a rhapsody. :-)

ElendilTheTall

@FaheemMitha no, you can have fatty smoked ham and lean smoked ham

or lean unsmoked or fatty unsmoked

Faheem Mitha

@Jolenealaska Oh. I guess I can wander over to that shop and say to them - fat bad. Or the Hindi equivalent of that.

@ElendilTheTall ok. gotcha.

Jolenealaska

Yep

ElendilTheTall

1:27 PM

here is a nice Bavarian style lean smoked ham

Jolenealaska

And that kind of ham is often sold in slices.

Or sliced to order.

That ham is nearly as lean as skinless chicken breast.

ElendilTheTall

yes

that's the way I like it :)

Jolenealaska

I like that too, actually.

Faheem Mitha

@ElendilTheTall sadly, I don't live in Bavaria.

ElendilTheTall

nothing worse than stringy fat in your ham sandwich

@FaheemMitha neither do I, but I can still have Bavarian ham any time I like

Europe! Fuck Yeah!

Faheem Mitha

1:31 PM

@ElendilTheTall I just ate a ham sandwich. It didn't taste unpleasantly fatty, but it didn't taste particularly lean either.

@ElendilTheTall ??!!

ElendilTheTall

@FaheemMitha Living in Europe means that I have easy access to a wide range of European products not widely available elsewhere in the world.

Faheem Mitha

@ElendilTheTall Good for you.

ElendilTheTall

yes

or rather, FUCK YEAH!

Jolenealaska

He rubs the cheese thing in.

ElendilTheTall

( I was mimicking the rather overzealous nature of American 'patriots' )

@Jolenealaska kinky

also stinky

Jolenealaska

1:32 PM

HA!

Faheem Mitha

@ElendilTheTall Yes, I got that. Ironically, I suppose.

ElendilTheTall

yes, I will be having carbonara tonight with real Italian parmesan

Faheem Mitha

I like blue cheese. Can't really get that here. That's a British speciality.

ElendilTheTall

it cost but £2.50

@FaheemMitha Iowans in the room will disagree

Jolenealaska

Iowa has a famous blue cheese too!

:)

Faheem Mitha

1:34 PM

Of course, some people object to eating fungus.

ElendilTheTall

@FaheemMitha surely you can have some Stilton shipped out?

they export it all over the place

@FaheemMitha the original Stilton was served with a spoon so you could eat the maggots therein too

Faheem Mitha

@ElendilTheTall Maybe. Apparently Nehru's father used to have his laundry sent to Paris, so all things are possible.

@ElendilTheTall Fun.

Jolenealaska

And we can get Italian Parmesan, it just costs more than a car.

Fresh mozzarella is hard to find.

Faheem Mitha

The laundry thing is probably apocryphal. But would be funny if true.

Cerberus

Hello.

Jolenealaska

1:38 PM

We get this awful pre-shredded stuff. Even fairly good pizza places use it.

Cerberus

What does Parmesan cost you?

Here it is about €20/kg or so.

Expensive.

Jolenealaska

Cerby! I was just about to mention aged Gouda.

Cerberus

Oh, yeah?

Jolenealaska

Twice that for Parmigiano Reggiano.

ElendilTheTall

@Cerberus you can't talk about cheese with jojo in the room without Aged Gouda coming up

@Jolenealaska just get Pecorino instead. Virtually identical flavour, much cheaper

Jolenealaska

1:40 PM

My local grocery carries Aged Beemster now.

And I do. I don't spring for Parmigiano Reggiano, but I won't buy the super cheap powdered stuff either.

Cerberus

@Jolenealaska Ouch!

They must make a rather handsome profit...

Jolenealaska

There's a halfway decent domestic Parmesan as long as you grate it yourelf.

Cerberus

@ElendilTheTall I applaud her!

@ElendilTheTall Pecorino is very different!

It's good, but different.

Jolenealaska

You would think, it's not like it has a short shelf life.

Cerberus

And not much cheaper...

Jolenealaska

1:45 PM

I think it's just a matter of what the market will bear.

Cerberus

It is...

Okay, turns out it's €26/kg.

Even more expensive.

Jolenealaska

People buy the powdered Kraft stuff 'cause they don't know any better. Connoisseurs pay the big bucks.

Cerberus

Pecorino is €20.

Powdered cheese, in a bag?

That's bad!

People buy that here too.

I suppose, in a sauce, it might be palatable.

Jolenealaska

In a canister. Truly hideous stuff.

Cerberus

And it's better than no cheese...

Hmm.

I think we have powdered cheese in canisters too, but it's usually in bags.

Jolenealaska

1:48 PM

Actually, no. No cheese is better than that crap.

ElendilTheTall

see, here they wouldn't be allowed to call it parmesan unless it was actually genuine grated parmesan

here, that stuff is labelled 'grated italian hard cheese'

Jolenealaska

It has all the personality of day-glo American.

Cerberus

Thanks to Europe...

ElendilTheTall

and then it has to come from Italy

Cerberus

Or, rather, a certain step in the production process has to be in Italy or Parma...

Jolenealaska

1:50 PM

We have no such rules :)

Cerberus

For example: parma ham is made from Dutch cows. They are transported to Parma, slaughtered there. Then the meat is transported back to Holland to be cured and salted and such.

True story.

ElendilTheTall

@Jolenealaska thus your consumers are easily lulled into eating powdered vomit like that pictured above

Cerberus

@Jolenealaska You might, if the TTIP succeeds.

The evil treaty where you and we give away our democratic rights and laws to shady lawyers.

@ElendilTheTall Our consumers happily choke on the powdered vomit too, despite the description!

Jolenealaska

I cannot see it really happening. Our food culture is just too much of a hodge-podge.

Cerberus

Neither can I.

I think the American negotiators will be able to fend off this European demand.