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9:01 PM
None of you would work with me in a real-life setting, right?
 
@HopelessN00b That's an awfully specific slang term. "Okay, I need to express myself very precisely, because sitting back and chilling between convulsions after wild, irredeemable sex performed while horking up crack foam totally needs its own word."
 
@ewwhite I would work with you in real live. Must supply happy endings.
 
@Wesley Well, UD was the only one that referenced drug use, but other sources had the rest... or parts of the rest.
 
@HopelessN00b what the hell was it?
 
crikey, I just found the hot molecule in that bottle of sauce
 
9:04 PM
@Tanner coitus-exhausticus-whilst-blazedicus
 
@Tanner Yeah, I'm not about to say. Last thing I want to show up in the chat logs is something about me sekzing my male boss.
5
 
I ask because my client's local IT consultants don't like working with me. They find me "mean and confrontational".
 
@HopelessN00b You? Discreet? WTF man. I thought I knew you!
 
Thanks for starring that, ass. :p
 
@ewwhite you upset them in any way?
 
9:06 PM
@ewwhite I'd like you to be at one of our staff meetings.
 
@Wesley Not discreet, just not wanting to be falsely outed as a gay man doing his boss.
 
@HopelessN00b I've been a fake gay man for years. Hasn't bothered me.
2
 
@MatthewIfe they make stupid mistakes... they're not competent. Just because the client is an apple farm, doesn't mean that they deserve sub-par IT support.
 
And I still get the ladies!
 
@dawud Whyso?
 
9:07 PM
@ewwhite <shrug> Other than your use of HP servers, I don't see anything objectionable about you. I'd work with you IRL.
 
I think I'm probably too mean to these consultants.
 
@ewwhite lol I was actually about to say that that statement could translate into "We'll agree to anything you ask but we're incompetent"
 
@ewwhite Not possible to be too mean to incompetent consultants. By definition, they're screwing over your clients.
 
@MatthewIfe this morning's battle was that this customer built a new facility from the ground up... but the consultants brought in a pair of T1's for internet access... and a /29 for IP addressing
 
@ewwhite because there's a great deal of "mean and confrontational" behaviour there.
 
9:10 PM
and now they're out of IPs and want to move my server in order to make room
 
@ewwhite Unless you flayed them alive with fiber optic cable, you weren't "too mean."
 
/29 eh lol
 
@ewwhite they want to physically move your server as they are out of logical addresses?
 
@ewwhite YOU'RE a consultant though right?
Conslutant!
Uh oh, I said it.
Flag me.
 
@MatthewIfe they're port-forwarding instead of the static NAT I had previously
it's breaking email
 
9:11 PM
@ewwhite wtf
 
@MarkHenderson I want proof of that. I never said that. Though I remember you calling yourself fat....
 
Some of this is the client's fault... for listening to these people
 
No, flag me. Not star me you sludge-juggling cockswains!
 
@ewwhite Did anyone find out about their proposal beforehand?
 
But I try to do good by the customer because 1). they're in Michigan and 2). they were the victims of a mass-murder.
 
9:12 PM
@ewwhite what does any of that have to do with removing your server?
 
Incompetent toolboxes.
 
@Wesley There you go. Flagged and starred. You have officially be flarred. or stagged. Whichever you prefer.
 
@ewwhite You killed some people?
 
@MatthewIfe I'd lose my static NAT entry...
and that will break some services.
 
Sure, right. But why remove your server?
 
9:13 PM
also, they have no reverse PTR entries on the IP block
 
We're talking intangible addresses, running out to move a tangible object. The two dont add up.
 
@MatthewIfe Oh, it's the reassignment of IPs that's the problem
@MDMoore313 You're in Michigan... you were supposed to take offense.
 
Oh, right.
 
@ewwhite I actually thought about taking offense, but you're not that far away
 
So you've got a static nat currently and they want that address to port forward on/
 
9:15 PM
@DennisKaarsemaker Mine are even bigger :P
 
@ewwhite Chicago vs. Detroit? Why would I ever take offense....
 
@MatthewIfe yes... which results in some source NAT issues.
@MDMoore313 just sayin'
Michigan people are nice... except for mass-murders.
 
Did you tell them that if they do that email will break?
 
@ewwhite I wouldn't even count that as a mass murder
They're nice to you because you're the 'computer guy'
 
@MatthewIfe Is this a static NAT address or is it port-mapped? If the latter, it will break [client's] outbound Produce Pro mail.
and they're like, "Oh noes!!! Is email broken!??"
And I explained: Yep.
Because they can't send to their AOL.com-using customers.
and I continued... Why are there so few IP addresses? A /29 is cutting it very tight, and I’m sure you can obtain a larger range from AT&T.
and then: Why do you people suck so HARD?!?
 
9:19 PM
AOL.com, Jesus. Another thing that can't possibly die fast enough.
 
and then EAT MY ASS!!!
 
@ewwhite lol, that last bit might have been less diplomatic
 
@MatthewIfe Bah. Leave diplomacy for the diplomats, I say.
 
6 hours later...
 
If its outbound email, how come it breaks? I can understand inbound needing a port mapping to 25.
 
9:20 PM
We will be getting a new fiber connection soon and we are going to be looking into getting a larger block.
@MatthewIfe In this Cisco config, the source address for outbound mail changes when you use port forwarding.
so the server is at .141 now... but outbound mail will show as coming from .138
 
Fucking Cisco... you could do it in Linux.
 
you can do it in Cisco, too... but they can't
 
@ewwhite how much do you charge to maintain that server? ballpark
 
Wrigley Field
 
@MDMoore313 $300/mo. + $200/hr. for stuff like this
 
9:22 PM
@ewwhite I see, so it gets delivered but the headers dont line up
 
@MatthewIfe no, it's because the .138 doesn't have a reverse PTR entry... and most bit mail providers reject mail without reverse DNS
 
And you can't get a reverse DNS entry set up?
 
Gotcha. Add an PTR for it?
 
@MichaelHampton I told them 6 hours ago that doing so would resolve mail issues.
and they took no action
 
@MichaelHampton Forget that. "Fucking email." "Fucking IPv4." "Fucking NAT." Fucking incompetent consultants who got a /29." etc.
 
9:24 PM
Were they expecting you to do it?
 
but then, it's also AT&T... and AT&T refuses to add reverse PTR entries unless you host a forward zone with them.
 
@ewwhite That's absurd
 
@MichaelHampton I only manage the produce server... these local guys handle everything else.
 
Will they delegate to another NS?
 
@ewwhite They can "eat my ass" I guess.
 
9:25 PM
1-800-FUCK-ATT
 
4
A: DNS, PTR, Mail Server HELP!

ewwhiteAT&T does this. It's their policy. It's an ugly policy, but I will often times either host a minor domain attached to the company with AT&T or delegate the primary DNS domain to them. If you have a small domain you don't mind hosting with AT&T, do it. Then they'll give you the reverse PTR records.

 
@MichaelHampton The number you have dialed cannot be reached
 
@MarkHenderson yes...
 
Ha. I knew someone would try it.
 
but the local consultants don't know nothin' about that.
 
9:26 PM
@ewwhite That there are people out there, who get paid more than me, who do not know these things, makes me sad.
 
I recall @ChrisS saying that this firm operated out of a trailer park next to a trash dump.
 
@ewwhite Then deletgate the block to another DNS provider
 
@ewwhite How else will they provision new hardware so quickly?
 
@ewwhite we do
spam never sleeps
or has a matching reverse ptr
 
@MDMoore313 right... so that's why client's mail is broken
 
9:28 PM
Put up a relay somewhere?
 
@ewwhite I can't imagine a company being 'okay' with not being able to send email for an entire business day
 
@MDMoore313 And paying people to make sure it stays that way.
 
@MichaelHampton all things I would do...
 
@ewwhite But they're dealing with local IT idiots?
 
"Whatever you do, make sure you do not remove anyone's thumbs from their hind quarters! ALL THIS MONEY ISN'T GOING TO BURN ITSELF!!!"
 
9:30 PM
@MichaelHampton yes
I've begged @chriss to go over there and give a second opinion... being local and all
 
Back. What did I miss?
 
@ewwhite Soooo.... silly question, but why do your clients keep using idiot IT conslutants?
 
@HopelessN00b because idiot IT conslutants can be good at selling themselves as non-idiots
 
@HopelessN00b I don't know... in this case, I think it has to do with family or the wikipedia article I linked above.
 
especially to idiot customers
 
9:34 PM
@DennisKaarsemaker Ed's clients being stupid, Wesley being a fake gay man, and apparently, me being a gay man who sekzes his boss.
 
@HopelessN00b ok, so nothing new. gotcha.
 
they built a new facility, and I've helped a lot of produce companies plan IT infra for new facilities...
this client even visited my most recent buildout to get ideas.
but didn't use me in their buildout
 
@ewwhite Well, what can ya do? If they insist on using idiots, and not taking good advice when it's offered... their shit's gonna break.
 
9:40 PM
@HopelessN00b true... I could fire customers like @Wesley
 
@DennisKaarsemaker Speaking of....
0
Q: Bandwidth measurement using ping

user3361323How can I measure bandwidth using ping? I know I could use something like iperf on each end to do the measurement, but I can't do that because I don't have access to the remote system. Maybe if I play with the ping size parameter? Even an estimate will suffice.

Ouch.
 
@ewwhite maybe they pay a lot more for them and see their way as 'getting their moneys worth'.
 
@MatthewIfe yes, I'm cheap
but I'm usually right when it comes to produce systems
 
he knows how to produce produce systems that produce produce
5
 
@ewwhite Yeah, I'm not a fan of that. Raising rates until they go away voluntarily seems like a better play to me.
 
9:42 PM
and it should be clear... "this action will break mail" - mail breaks - "told ya so"
 
@HopelessN00b yup, raise rates until they leave
 
You should next time CC in whoever is managing you and them on their side.
 
@RyJones And speaking of... I'm gonna start doing that to my current employer if I have to keep dealing with fucking printers. Screw this.... I'm going home for the day.
 
@RyJones he reproduces produce systems
@HopelessN00b two words: sledge hammer.
 
@MatthewIfe Oh, I did.
 
9:45 PM
 
How to get work done: 1) Stay out of The Comms.
 
@DennisKaarsemaker Yeah, they want me to make them work, though. And won't except "they're fucking printers! They don't* work, as a function of what they are" for an answer.
 
@HopelessN00b fortunately it's been years since I had to do that. Took me months(!) to get a printer working under linux due to asshat drivers from asshat vendors
needed bleeding-edge Ubuntu to work. So bleeding edge it had a period.
2
 
@DennisKaarsemaker I am now imagining your ubuntu having a 'red week'. Its worth being here for such gold.
 
So this user posted two different answers both referencing the same product. Suspicious?
-2
A: Measuring network performance

user3280964Try pingb. Right now it only works on windows. But if you are interested I'll make one for *nix. Unlike iperf you don't need access to the remote box. http://www.florian.ca/pingb/

 
9:52 PM
Tough day at the office. Going home, suckers!
 
@MDMoore313 they are for old questions too.
 
@MatthewIfe That one is, the second one is from a few mins ago. Guerilla Marketer, flagging it.
 
So we lent a quite expensive piece of equipment on trial to a customer
They've just told us that they have lost it
They don't know where it is
I hate people
4
 
@MDMoore313 not even sure that the method being used to measure throughput really works.
TCP Throughput is more complicated than that, and most transmissions are over TCP.
 
@MatthewIfe me either, what about packet fragmenting, etc.
exactly
 
9:57 PM
@MDMoore313 from the homepage of that software: "For pingb to function the target IP has to respond to pings > 1500 bytes (preferrably > 10000 bytes)"
Yes, of course nobody filters large icmp echo packets
that guy must be on crack or something.. what a useless tool
"pingb can't distinguish between latency getting to the target vs the latency getting back. For that reason, it can't distinguish between upload speed and download speed. The best it can do is make an educated estimate based on the download to upload ratio of your connection. For example, if your ADSL connection is 20 Mbs down and 2 Mbs UP, that is a ratio of 10. With that information, pingb will try to estimate what your actual upload and download bandwidth is."
hahahah
 
10000 byte pings?
dat MTU
I don't believe ICMP can be fragmented
 
MUCH BETTER THAN IPERF!
 
I suspect most large pings would work. But you'd need to send many pings to get a relatively decent measurement of your 'pure' throughput speed. Plus you could lose packets or them be out of order on the way back.
Pretty sure you can fragment ICMP, dont fragment is on layer 3.
 
It worked on HIS internet connection!
 
Pinging 10.0.150.1 with 10000 bytes of data:
Packet needs to be fragmented but DF set.
 
10:00 PM
usually what happens is they get truncated if memory serves
 
and thats just a silly little airport answering
no, you can not fragment a icmp echo
 
@FalconMomot you'd know because the reply is supposed to be filled with the same data you sent.
 
@MatthewIfe you would, but it somewhat limits the usefulness of the technique
 
obviously he never heard of the ping flood of death
 
sorry my bad, that was me forcing it to not fragment
okay, so you can fragment icmp, but what kind of sane firewall admin allows that
 
10:01 PM
@ewwhite People that don't pay aren't customers. They're drains on society.
 
I don't know if he was advertising, but I'd never heard of pingB
 
you certain?
 
I can't remember the last time I've worked on a firewall who doesn't have DF set on icmp
 
I didn't think ICMP had fields for that
like
 
@pauska no I think you can
 
10:02 PM
ICMP is not encapsulated in IP
 
@pauska You can fragment the icmp echos.
 
@pauska in fact I think it happens automatically
 
so there isn't a DF flag
 
I just tried. IT works.
 
like I said a few lines up, my bad, you can fragment icmp
 
10:02 PM
@FalconMomot ICMP is encapsulated in IP.
 
but
49 secs ago, by pauska
I can't remember the last time I've worked on a firewall who doesn't have DF set on icmp
 
google dont.
 
@MDMoore313 ah...now I see why you say "advertising"
 
@MatthewIfe google is a firewall?
 
I'm pretty certain google have firewalls between me and their server.
 
10:03 PM
@TheCleaner :-)
 
I was just about to add it to my list of goodies too...
 
@MatthewIfe oh, so it is.
 
@TheCleaner he probably thought he could get away with it too
 
Still, not a good test ;).
 
go to a couple forums, reply to some networking problems....
network performance problems? try pingb . Trouble with your fridge? try pingb
 
10:06 PM
@MDMoore313 yeah, and while iperf is great, I tend to use NTttcp more.
 
Overweight? PINGB !!!!
 
@MDMoore313 What about that persistent, itchy rash?
 
@freiheit stop letting @Wesley lick you.
 
With PINGB you are guaranteed to lose 10 pounds in a week...or gain 10 pounds...whatever your goals are!
 
@DennisKaarsemaker You think permission has anything to do with it?
 
10:07 PM
You want to use our sister application, PREPERATIONH
 
@freiheit oh come on, you like it!
 
But wait theres more! Thats right, if you try pingb now you'll receive the complementary pingb6 absolutely free.
 
ROFL
 
@DennisKaarsemaker The detailed taint statuses might be going too far, though.
 
oh wtf, @Wesley has a bike now?!?!
WHY WAS THAT NOT PINNED TO THE STAR WALL
 
10:09 PM
shit I was thinking about bidding on this knife, it's already out of my league: turpin-knives.com/auctions/…
 
@DennisKaarsemaker He fixed up the wrong-sized ancient free bike and has been riding around in tiny rectangles
 
@RyJones $1600 for a knife? You're mad.
 
@RyJones Have you any Damascus Steel Knives?
 
@DennisKaarsemaker it'll probably close around $5k
@MDMoore313 no, but I can get them.
I've passed on buying them because I am a poor prole
 
@RyJones what makes a knife worth $5k? Was it used to stab someone famous?
 
10:11 PM
I know a guy here in Seattle selling a damasteel/bone front flipper for $1800
 
@RyJones yeh I heard they were nice, took a metallurgy class
 
@DennisKaarsemaker they're works of art or something.
 
meh, art.
 
@RyJones Go buy one of these, instead: beggknives.com/semi-custom-knives/bodegas
 
@DennisKaarsemaker I watched a youtube on how a Japanese Sword was made. Definitely a work of art.
 
10:12 PM
Does anyone else use the pro-forma comments userscript ?
 
@freiheit I have a begg in my pocket most days, thanks
 
@RyJones just curious if they were as nice as people say
 
@Iain is that the thing that allows you to have canned comments? I use(d) it.
 
@RyJones Ah. I don't, but I know a guy that works there.
@Iain yes.
 
@MDMoore313 flickr.com/search/?w=88509406@N00&q=begg pictures I took at his going away party.
 
10:15 PM
@RyJones Damascus? Either way that is nice
 
@MDMoore313 if you're into knives, are you on USN?
 
@DennisKaarsemaker yes
@freiheit is it still working ?
 
@Iain yeah
 
hmm
 
@MDMoore313 flickr.com/photos/ryjones/5442741351/in/photostream the scales (handles) on those knives are made of "lightning struck carbon fiber"
@freiheit you on USN?
 
10:19 PM
@freiheit seems not to be working for me
 
@MDMoore313 the bolster on this knife is "timascus" flickr.com/photos/ryjones/5443343946/in/photostream
 
@RyJones Nope. I like a nice pocket knife, but I'm not particularly obsessed.
 
@freiheit ah well, how did you meet someone at Begg?
 
@RyJones Begg is a local company in the next town south of where I live. The guy that I know works there part time. In that one episode of the tv show, he shows up for a few seconds and never gets named. Also works at a local bike shop. Brother of an ex-roommate.
 
@DennisKaarsemaker I'm using someone else's while I build mine.
 
10:23 PM
@freiheit I was sad when he moved there, but I'm glad he's doing better. His whole divorce was a shitshow
last year was no winner, either
god damn string of bad luck
 
 
@RyJones I don't pay much attention to Begg. Periodically the guy I know posts pictures on FB of projects there that he's worked on (most recent was converting surface grinder from wheels to belts), and of course we all had to watch when he said he was gonna be on the teevees.
 
@freiheit sure, everyone wants to be famous
 
@RyJones He's one of the assistant "kids", but he wasn't one of the ones fucking up, so he didn't get much airtime. Apparently he doesn't want to be famous enough to be more dramatic.
 
10:27 PM
@freiheit wise move on his part
 
I do kinda want to upgrade my BM 940 to a Damascus version, but then I can't convince myself to pay that much for pretty. Only Damascus I own is a bread knife
 
Howdy gents.
 
@freiheit nice knife
@Magellan hello sir
 
@freiheit ... six hundred bucks for a knife?
Clearly you earn too much money
Oh wait
 
@MarkHenderson Rednecks spend like thousands on guns and shit
2
 
10:36 PM
I didnt read the rest of the sentence
@JoelESalas Where do they get the money for it?
 
my neck is as red as they come
2
 
@MarkHenderson they just don't retire
 
@MarkHenderson I only have the $200 pocket knife
 
user58869
@freiheit that looks dangerous
 
10:37 PM
@Alex Not as dangerous as a liner lock knife. :)
 
Anonymous
@RyJones nobody needs such edc for god's sakes
 
user58869
@RyJones why does it have those little openings?
 
Anonymous
i mean't not that sturdy knife
 
10:39 PM
@freiheit I do appreciate a good knife, but 200 bucks would have to be my absolute limit
 
Anonymous
 
@Alex looks
 
user58869
@RyJones i see, it certainly does make it look good in the photo
 
After buying it, I swore I was done with non-IKBS knives, but the 801 has some non-IKBS bearing system and it's OK
 
Apparently there's a whole knife ecosystem I didn't even know about
Do any of these knives run linux
 
10:41 PM
@JoelESalas they probably could
 
@RyJones For a few hundred bucks I expect at least 512MB RAM
 
I carried a Spyderco Delica for many years
 
I don't get weapons
things intended to injure
 
I was going to ask about interior decorating, and I walk into a manly discussion about knives.
 
and the fetish around these things
 
10:43 PM
Fuck yes! I got budget for new office chairs!
I can't afford Herman Millers - but what do you guys suggest?
 
@ewwhite I did lots of interior work - what's the question?
 
@MarkHenderson Aeron
 
@ewwhite Listen yesterday we were all discussing vasectomies and our jizz consistancy
 
@RyJones Which knife is best for putting up curtains
 
@JoelESalas I just said I cna't afford herman millers :p
 
10:44 PM
 
@ewwhite Oh god no
 
@MarkHenderson shop better. Aerons are super easy to come by at "going under" sales for little startups
2
 
@RyJones I'm actually carrying a boker most of the time, because the 940's a bit big and they stopped making my favorite tiny knife that got lost
 
I like to be able to lean back and not fall off
@RyJones Cheapest I've ever seen them is $800/each
 
@JoelESalas they're also good for keeping your place in a book...
 
10:45 PM
My budget is about $500/each
 
@RyJones I have a friend who has a good eye for decorating and design, and I want to compensate her fairly for suggestions on how to furnish our new house.
but I don't know what's fair
Carrying knives... a luxury that brown people like me and @JoelESalas don't have!!
 
@ewwhite here's my answer from working in the industry: be happy with what you select, don't rely on "you'll grow into it". you're gonna see it every day for years.
 
:14025403 that's actually her other business...
But I just want decorating advice.
 
We were always super careful to make the finish perfect in front of the toilet in the master bath, and over the master bed, since people will focus on those defects
 
@ewwhite Is this the same woman who doesn't mind if you watch her having sex but doesn't want creeps on the internet watching?
 
10:47 PM
@MarkHenderson eww
 
@MarkHenderson Oh boy
 
@RyJones we're basic. My wife has no design sense... and this is a nice house. So we need some tips on furniture selection and such
 
@ewwhite well, ask her what her rate is and have her bid it as such
 
@RyJones she's not a pro designer.
 
well, I can't help you then. I mis-understood the request.
you still in Chicago?
 
10:50 PM
yep
 
let me ask my sister what she paid. she just did a 1400-1500 ['] apartment
 
@ewwhite If it's off the books and she really is good, I'd offer 300 bucks cash in hand
At $50/hour thats 6 hours
 
@MarkHenderson I'm looking for ideas on a couple of rooms.
so maybe $300/room
 
You want her to go shopping with you too?
 
@ewwhite bicycling.com/ride-maps/featured-rides/napa-sonoma-valleys I think they just ranked my backyard as the best road riding in the US... ;)
 
10:55 PM
@MarkHenderson possibly... but it may not be necessary
 
I know people that have spent $40k for full service but not including price of purchases
Up to $100k including purchases
And my cousin charges $50/hr for consulting services, like when you're selling a house - she comes in, looks aroundk, takes photos, and then tells you what to change to get the best price
 
@MarkHenderson it's usually a percentage of the budget
you're paying for the service (obviously) and you're paying to have your name on the client list.
this guy I know bought a house and converted it into an S&M... house, which involved a lot of permanent modifications. I asked what that did to resale, he said not much, because those houses are sold within the community.
 

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