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bruglesco
bruglesco
2:48 AM
@Mithrandir That's a beautiful view. Where is it?
 
 
1 hour later…
Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
4:10 AM
0
Q: Worried about girlfriend lifestyle changes

anonMy girlfriend has been experimenting with different lifestyle changes lately, which I think is not only amazing, but an important element in growth. I would like to support her through all these changes the best I can. For example, a few months ago she decided she wanted to experiment with vegeta...

conversations
 
El'endia Starman
El'endia Starman
4:26 AM
@TheTinyMan: @ElizB and I just finished The Dragon Prince season 2. You were right; pretty great! :D
 
 
2 hours later…
Anilla
Anilla
6:09 AM
Anyone in here decent at math? Calculus+?
 
dhein
dhein
@Tinkeringbell Thanks, too kind :)
Hey everyone :)
And by the way, I liked how virolino improved his answer. It should be fine now, isn't it?
 
Anilla
Anilla
@dhein Hey :)
 
dhein
dhein
Thanks for the lesson momma tinki xP
Hahaha no, was indeed very interesting and also I learned again a bit more about my self. As this is inline with why I sometimes feel uncomfortable with greeting strangers... I just had realized now.
@Anilla Heya :) How r u doin?
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@dhein The one about name changing? I cleaned up some comments there. I'd left two: the one where they say this is how friends announced their name change to them and the one asking for backup of that kind. I don't really see that info clearly in the answer yet (though the questions about how people reacted are now indeed answered)
@dhein You're welcome ;)
 
Anilla
Anilla
@dhein I'm doing well :D Just trying to figure out maths well above my schooling to finish up a program hehe
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
6:21 AM
@Anilla Sorry!! I can do addition, multiplication and percentages really well (worked retail) but the rest is out of my league
 
Anilla
Anilla
@Tinkeringbell Ahh no worries, thanks though! I've worked retail too, knowing those things are super important! xD I'm stepping out my comfort zone to figure out how to make this thingy work
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Perhaps one of the math sites can be of help? I'd go for the mathematics one, not mathoverflow (heard that's the really professional stuff)... ?
 
dhein
dhein
@Tinkeringbell Is the edit he just made 20 mintues ago, still not sufficient for backup?
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@dhein I like the comment better than the edit, though it may just be phrasing. ;) I'll take a closer look after breakfast
 
Anilla
Anilla
@Tinkeringbell I'm not quite sure if it'd be good-question-material. It's more of a homework exercise and I kinda don't even know what to ask lol. Kinda like finding out what I'm looking for by asking a bunch of questions if that makes sense
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
6:27 AM
It's at least no longer in need of deletion ;)
 
dhein
dhein
@Tinkeringbell That was my point :D The effort of compliance he made :P
enjoy your toast :)
@Anilla I would love to help, but as hinted yesterday... I am not that math proficient ^^
 
Anilla
Anilla
@dhein It's totally cool. I'll figure it out one way or another. The internet has gotten me to where I'm at now hehe.
How are ya'll btw? It's morning or something for ya now? :P
 
dhein
dhein
6:41 AM
Yeh morning here for me. And I am totally fine :) wbu?
 
Anilla
Anilla
@dhein It's 1:45 A.M. for me lol... and I'm trying to calculate the derivative of sigmoid functions XD
 
dhein
dhein
6:57 AM
Ahhh yeah, thats what 1:45 am is my favorite time for, too.
In my dreams! xD
 
Anilla
Anilla
@dhein For me this is more of a nightmare xD What are you up to?
 
dhein
dhein
Sitting at work doing IP analyses. And checking for new flats on our corporate portal in infrequent intervalls ^^
 
Anilla
Anilla
@dhein I love analyses lol. Find a flat with a big kitchen ;)
 
dhein
dhein
@Anilla That was the plan, but for now I'd be happy finding a flat at all v.v
 
Anilla
Anilla
@dhein Oof, oh my. What's givin' ya trouble finding any?
Also side note sorry I keep not using the reply thing you taught me to XD it's just easier to use the tagging system hehe
 
dhein
dhein
7:07 AM
@Anilla The landlords I think? Or the competition for flats in my area... Dunno, kindof an philosophical question :P
I mean the problem isn't finding any, but getting them ^^
 
Anilla
Anilla
@dhein I get it. It can be pretty tricky in the US sometimes. Guess Germany is the same way heh
 
dhein
dhein
I think it is more a problem of the area I am in than a general problem. I am working for a large IT company, having 15.000 employees here at their HQ where I work. So the demand for flats in this area is accordingly.
 
Anilla
Anilla
@dhein Ohhh, that makes a bit more sense then. That is pretty massive lol. I'd feel so small in that company :P
 
dhein
dhein
@Anilla: Well I would do so, too I thoguht at first, but my networking worked quite well, so far. Important people of different company areas knowing who I am already makes me feel kinda less small than I had assumed I would xP
And I actually am very surprised by that... how well I am doing here :)
I had already 6 events (interviews/on stage speeches) where I was representing the company in the public. And another one is appointed. And that despite I am just here for 5 months now and still on trial period :D
 
Anilla
Anilla
@dhein That's great! :D Glad to hear it's going well Mr. Popular ;)
 
dhein
dhein
7:22 AM
Mr. Popular hmmmm.... I like that name xP
 
Jasper
Jasper
@Anilla I forgot all the math, but what is the problem anyway? Then maybe we can let you know where to post.
 
Anilla
Anilla
@Jasper I think I figured it out now. I basically had to propagate through a function taking its partial derivative each iteration. I'm not quite sure I understand it... but it looks like it's working lol
@Ælis hey! Good morning :D
 
Jasper
Jasper
@Anilla Oh OK. If needed, you can post on Math SE main site, or maybe ask in the chat room there.
 
Anilla
Anilla
@Jasper Okie dokie. Thank ya! :)
@dhein I hate python... utterly despicable. Now I know why its branding involves a snake hehe :P
 
dhein
dhein
@Anilla :D
 
Anilla
Anilla
7:31 AM
@dhein I'm trying to figure out how to do all this stuff in Go... 'cause everything was written in Python :(
 
dhein
dhein
Go.... hjak... Their idea of stable builds is very weird. I just read an introduction about it when I had to analyize a GO project.... and it is so strange to figure what components are taken from which sources >.<
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Anilla Ssssh, I was trying to lurk here :p
 
Anilla
Anilla
@dhein I hate the dependency management scheme... but it's compiled natively and has extremely mature web libraries... too convenient hehe
@Ælis pretends to not see you :P
 
dhein
dhein
@Anilla: Yeah, but I am being an analyst and not an developer anymore.... Its my job to track back these dependencies. And in that regards GO is really weird ^^
 
Anilla
Anilla
@dhein Very true. I wish it followed something more standard like CMake or maybe even Gradle
 
dhein
dhein
7:40 AM
Or node.js? ^^
I love that one
 
avazula
avazula
Hello everyone
 
dhein
dhein
Node.js/NPM
 
Anilla
Anilla
@avazula Hello! :D How's it going?
@dhein Node is nice too :)
 
avazula
avazula
@Anilla Pretty stressful. Coworkers want me to solve issues that they initiated and are responsible for, and I'm moving out on Saturday and I haven't finished packing yet ^^ but the mood is good. What about you? :)
 
Anilla
Anilla
@avazula Oh no... I'm sorry to hear that. Do your Coworkers often present such a problem? Moving out! Woooo! I'm doing well... working on a li'l' project before I go to bed hehe
 
Ælis
Ælis
7:51 AM
I wanted to flag a comment as unfriendly but, since I'm on my phone, I can't :'( here if you want to take a look: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/21044/…
 
avazula
avazula
@Anilla They do this a lot ^^ I just have to suck it up I guess.
Wooh! Sounds fun :)
@Ælis I already did dear
 
Anilla
Anilla
@avazula Aw that's too bad >_< My project is going decent... math at night becomes fun until you start doubting basic arithmetic XD
 
Ælis
Ælis
@avazula :-*
 
avazula
avazula
@Anilla Haha. I remember my college midterms. I'd double check every 1-digit addition with my calculator because of stress :p
 
Anilla
Anilla
@avazula Exactly. Your calculator can feel the stress once you type in "5*2" xD I think I'm gonna start it back up in the morning... all these sigmoids and differentials make me wanna fall asleep :P
 
avazula
avazula
8:00 AM
@Anilla Haha. Have a good night :)
 
Anilla
Anilla
@avazula Thanks :) Gl with your work!
 
dhein
dhein
@Anilla: SLeep tight :)
 
avazula
avazula
@Anilla Thanks! :)
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
8:13 AM
@bruglesco on a mountain in the North of Israel
 
dhein
dhein
@Mithrandir Holy, thanks for pinging on it. Thats beautiful indeed
Theoretical question, cause I slowly start panicing: Given, that through out this month, I was looking for a flat available for the 1st of April while most flats were available slightly earlier or even already for the 1st of march. Given the competition its likely there were usually also a few already looking for to move in 01.03... So can I assume having better chances in march?
Where the 01st of April actually WILL be the nearest point for moving in? Or should I infact slowly start panicing? :x
 
JAD
JAD
8:29 AM
@dhein the question you would have to ask is whether paying up to a month extra rent while you are not living there is worth it to prevent the risk of not having something lined up at april 1st
 
dhein
dhein
@Jad: I am not sure you get what I mean/I am explaining it correctly. This was more a refference to what I told about 1 or 2 days ago. That I really having trouble finding someone renting me a flat and them deciding most of the time for others.
I just asked my self now, if the reason for rejecting me might have been prefering others due to them being able to move in earlier even despite the flat was listed most of the times for 1st of april. So if my chances might get better when it becomes march. ^^
"renting me a flat" is so wrong translated, but lacking of a better wording right now >.<
 
JAD
JAD
ah
I figured you were rejecting offers because the lease would start before april 1st
 
dhein
dhein
nah nah. I am just worried not finding a flat till the first of april as that would mean I had to move out of my old flat but not having a new one >.>
 
JAD
JAD
yeah, I understand
so if they ask when you could move in, you could mention that april 1st is your "deadline", but earlier is negotiable/possible (depends a bit on finances I guess)
 
dhein
dhein
8:46 AM
@JAD Hmmm, yeah. Haven't considered that aproach yet. But yeh thats a good way I could have handled that. (And gonna do for the next few days '^.^)
 
Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
1
Q: Parents fighting a lot recently, and aren't 'dealing' with the problem causing it to blow up next time - How do I get them to work it out?

E. HuckabeeMy parents are the two best people I know. They both love each other, and wouldn't dream about even considering getting a divorce. But sometimes they lose sight of that. Recently, they've been getting into a lot of fights. I think it might have something to do with stress, or some other issue, (M...

united-states family parents
 
JAD
JAD
9:07 AM
@dhein good luck. It sucks having uncertainty in housing :/
 
Ælis
Ælis
9:37 AM
If I want to add an answer (about being nice to the OP and extra careful when making assumptions in order to not hurt OP's feelings) to your good answers faq, is there something I should do first? Some guidelines to follow? (cc @Tinkeringbell )
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Hmmm. Let me think bout that. We already have a point saying to answer the question asked and focus on expertise over opinion.
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Tinkeringbell Yeah but sometimes you need to make an assumption like here or you just feel like you have to in order to make a good answer like here and this is fine, as long as it is done respectfully and with regards to the OP's feeling
Oh dear, I don't like it when user decides to answer several questions in a row, it's always a sign of bad answers ><
 
Ælis
Ælis
10:00 AM
.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@Ælis If you have to make an assumption, a comment requesting clarification should be made (IMO).
Like I asked you whether there was age difference between your coworkers ;)
 
Ælis
Ælis
Yeah but people tend to not do it and answer anyway. So I figure it would be good to add something about that in the faq (because those wrong assumptions can really be hurtful)
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Hmm. I'm a bit mixed feeling on this: On the one hand I don't want to clutter up the post with a general 'be nice' notice. On the other hand, perhaps we can elaborate on one of the existing points with 'request clarification instead of making assumptions in your answer'. < To me, that's not about writing a good answer as much as general SE good manners.
Lets see what other people think. Opinions?
 
JAD
JAD
10:26 AM
> To me, that's not about writing a good answer as much as general SE good manners.

Given that IPS often deals with very personal stuff, I think there is more harm that can be done by making assumptions than on say... SFF.SE. So it might be worth pointing out.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@JAD So, new point or perhaps just add a line to interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/a/3268/1599?
 
JAD
JAD
@Tinkeringbell maybe, although I don't think it's an exact duplicate. What you linked appears to focus more on adhering to OP's wishes when those are clear, but this is more about what to do when they are not.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@JAD Yeah... that's why my mind keeps circling back to 'it's not about writing a good answer' because it's about not writing an answer but commenting in this case.
So I would either add a line to that part, say 'if OP's wishes aren't clear, don't answer, comment first'... it seems strange to add a part to 'how do I write a good answer' that is about not writing an answer at all (to me).
 
JAD
JAD
@Tinkeringbell point taken :P
@Tinkeringbell sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all ;)
see it as a framechallenge to the question of writing good answers: You don't
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Yeah.... that's why I'm struggling a bit with adding this to a faq on writing a good answer. Perhaps we can make a 'good manners' entry to our faq, and include it there?
 
JAD
JAD
10:37 AM
or is that too meta?
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@JAD Probably ;)
My goal with those bits was to have them be as self-contained as possible, so we could refer people to specific points (instead of an entire post). Only in case of specific problems though, if there's a lot wrong I just link the entire post too ;)
Besides... the word frame-challenge is a bit of 'semantic noise' (Sorry, been reading, all sorts of ideas right now).
> This type of noise occurs when grammar or technical language is used that the receiver (the decoder) cannot understand, or cannot understand it clearly.
A lot of people don't really understand 'frame-challenge' or don't understand clearly what it means within a context of IPS. If we want to communicate a bit better, it's perhaps better to leave that word out of comments/answers ;)
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Tinkeringbell To me, in order to write a good answer, you also need to know when not to write one. So saying "don't write a duplicate answer" or "don't make assumptions, ask questions instead" would have its place in your faq
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
True. I then propose adding it as a line to one of the existing points I linked earlier, instead of as an entirely new point.

And perhaps we need to rephrase the one about duplicate answers into something like 'write answers that contain something new'.
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Tinkeringbell adding it into an existing part seems good to me. Maybe we could put it into point 2 and 5 (don't make assumptions, be nice and careful with your wording). And for the duplicate answers, adding a line about 'write answers that contain something new' would be nice indeed (but not sure if we need to rephrase what already exist. Maybe just adding that would be enough)
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
10:58 AM
→ 12 messages moved to Trash
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
I just love it when it is nice and simple. +1 — virolino 41 secs ago
#20733 virolino (287 rep) | A: How to politely decline an equipment rent request? (score: 9) | posted 27 days ago by The Wraith (7969 rep) | Toxicity 0.07325831 | tps/fps: 0/0
Matched regex(es) ["+1"]
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
@IPSCommentBot tp
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
I've already gave the titles of 'duplicate answers' an update.... I can't really get the wording on assumptions to work though, as I said it feels strange telling people to improve the question in a post about writing good answers. I'm going to look at some other faq posts, perhaps we should add a 'answer well asked questions' part like in our help center.
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Tinkeringbell "If you have to make an assumption in order for your answer to work, stop writing your answer and ask OP to confirm what you think is true"
"Also, please note that a wrong assumption can be really hurtful to the OP, so be careful with your wording"
 
Ælis
Ælis
11:38 AM
Any trick to not forget to say "Hi" to coworkers when writing to them on instant messaging? Like, I have a question so I write it to them in slack. And then they answer by saying "Hi" before answering the question and I feel rude to not have say "Hi" in the first place ><
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@Ælis Taking a slight delay before pressing send? and if you hadn't, just put a 'hi' in front of the message. I generally like my hi's and questions to be in the same message ;)
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Tinkeringbell Trying to think before sending a message can't hurt :P But I'm not sure it would be enough to make me remember that I have to say "Hi" (I usually use a reminder for this kind of situation where I know I will forget to do something but this is not the kind of situation where I can just set a predefined alarm at the right time)
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
This one isn't going to work like that, I'm afraid. It feels like it's not descriptive enough, yet I'm hesitant to work it out fully as that's going to be making existing points too long.
People won't see this as obvious (and those that do will hopefully already be aware and moderate their tone). Also, I'm a bit hesitant against putting something about 'tone of the answer' into a faq that's likely going to be used by people to moderate said answers too... If something isn't nice, we have the CoC for that already, and rude/abusive flags.
 
Ælis
Ælis
11:57 AM
@Tinkeringbell I feel that the CoC isn't specific (good?) enough for IPS. I think we really need to have some place where we express even more that people really need to be nice and careful with other people feelings. But yeah, putting that in your answer faq might not be the best place
 
Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
0
Q: Survival without Linkedin profile in software industry

AnonymousInternet is full of advantages of having a linkedin profile. I, despite being a software engineer, don't feel comfortable (and feel anxious a lot - extremely panic feeling) broadcasting myself and my employment history. Overall, I am not active on Social Media and haven't made myself 'googlable'....

socializing social-media anxiety programmer
 
JAD
JAD
@Tinkeringbell the latter part is important. Nothing is more annoying than someone saying hi, waiting for you to respond, and only then start typing their question, leaving you sitting there waiting
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@JAD Yeeeep!
 
Termatinator
Termatinator
12:16 PM
hey how's it going?
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Hi! Quite well over here :)
and there?
@Ælis I'm not really sure how or where. I'll ask around if other sites have had similar problems and how they handle it :)
 
Termatinator
Termatinator
meh, been better, but it's nothing of importance
 
JAD
JAD
@Tinkeringbell I'm not convinced if writing down common sense in even more places is really going to do much :/
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
That too. It would be nice if we could get people to think about the one of their answers and how they are coming across, but I'm not sure we can ever put up a good guideline on it... How much criticism (this is a bad idea, you messed up here) people can take and how to present it already varies so much by culture alone...

one other thing about those kinds of posts/guidelines is that people can use them to rules-lawyer: 'But I didn't do that example thing'.

Perhaps it's better to focus on writing good, experience based and nice answers ourselves, set an example... an if we see things star…
But I'll ask around, I know there's other sites that sometimes struggle with answers that have a harsh tone.
 
Termatinator
Termatinator
12:34 PM
oh and something unrelated to my mood. i got a playstation friend who's missing for us for months, he already agreed to share phone numbers with another friend, but he never spoke about it with me. I did some research and eventually found his phone number on the internet, i shared that with the friend that he agreed to share numbers with and did nothing with it myself, did i act in a good way to him missing?
 
Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
0
Q: How to properly criticize a poor (scientific) work?

BartMy question: Are there ways to point out errors of somebody's scientific work without sounding harsh or as if I am discrediting that person? A lot can be found criticizing well and proper feedback, but that usually concerns a face-to-face conversation between two people who know each other. My si...

school criticism
 
ElizB
ElizB
12:59 PM
@Anilla @El'endiaStarman graduated with mathematics degree and he loves math. Ping him and see if he can help.
Hi everyone good morning
 
Termatinator
Termatinator
@ElizB hey, remember me?
 
ElizB
ElizB
1:58 PM
@Termatinator yeah?
 
Termatinator
Termatinator
@ElizB thought i'd come back after being gone for a while
 
ElizB
ElizB
2:11 PM
@Termatinator welcome back :) it has been a while
 
Termatinator
Termatinator
@ElizB thx
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Good morning people and robots of IPS land!
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Rainbacon Good morning rain and bacon of this land! :p
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
It is a good morning! I woke up to 100 points of new rep :)
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Rainbacon Wahoo, that's nice indeed!
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
2:22 PM
@Tinkeringbell I finally got around to adding another example to my sandbox post. What do you think of it?
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@Rainbacon Did you communicate anything about those preferences up front to those recruiters? If you could add that (or clarify that they only really have your CV and a few things like 'wants to work as a software dev'), I really think it's good to go.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Yes, I did
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
So you're getting proposals that go against a preference you've already stated?
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Cool, I'll make some slight tweaks to add that information and then post it onto main
Yes
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Nice! Looking forward to seeing it (and perhaps even answering ;) )
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
2:26 PM
There's also the pushback.
> The typical response I get to this is something trying to convince me that reason X is an incorrect assumption in order to get me to reconsider.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@Rainbacon True. But it would help to know that they already sent a proposal that goes against your wishes and they already knew that. Otherwise, it may come across as 'they sent you something they thought was a good fit based on what they had about you, you decline, they try and convince you nonetheless'.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
For example, last night I got one for a job at an Ad Tech company. I told the recruiter I don't want to work at an ad tech company and his response was "Oh well they don't think of themselves as an ad tech company because they do analytics on ad campaigns"
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
To be honest... I find recruiters quite immoveable. I quit LinkedIn because I grew crazy of people asking me to give up a job I liked for something with a lot less security and in a sector I wasn't even interested in (like your ad tech, or military/defense/insurance/banking)
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
I've actually considered giving up on the recruiters myself
Related question, is there a tactful way to tell someone that if a job looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it's probably the thing I just told them I didn't want?
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Rainbacon "I'm sorry but this won't do either"?
"It's to similar to ad tech"
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
2:31 PM
@Rainbacon I'd likely go with 'I thought we already discussed this, but if not, I'm sorry for not mentioning it sooner. I really don't want to work in ad tech, and this is similar enough to that that I'm not going to do this either'.
Though I'd only resort to that if they kept pushing ad tech to me/telling me something is not ad tech.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Those are good suggestions. What I ended up going with was "I stand by my original assessment that this isn't the right opportunity for me"
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@Rainbacon Sounds okay to me too ;)
You could perhaps also ask 'If this isn't ad tech, could you explain what it does fall under? I'd like to avoid getting offers for these kinds of jobs, and I had hoped saying 'no ad tech' would filter them out. If it doesn't, I could use some help with setting up a better filter'.
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Tinkeringbell Oh, that's a nice one!
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
That way, you keep a bit more communication open with your recruiter, and an opportunity to work out between the two of you what works and doesn't work.
Of course, that requires your recruiter is actually interested in that kind of customer-relation.
Not having used many recruiters myself, I can't really prove it works ;)
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
My other main experience with recruiters is that they tend to be recruiting for the jobs that are less desirable.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
2:39 PM
True too. The desirable jobs don't really need a recruiter ;)
Any way of getting an overview of job vacancies, without going through a recruiter?
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Yeah, there are job boards, but I haven't had a lot of success with those
Also, our friend the main man should be stopping by soon
 
Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
0
Q: How do I request a different hairdresser?

David KWhen I get my hair cut I always go to the same chain location, because it's on my way home from work and convenient. I don't have a particular stylist, so I don't make an appointment and just walk in and take the first available person. For the most part I don't care who cuts my hair, as they mos...

politeness customer-interactions
0
Q: How can I be assertive without being labelled as difficult?

RainbaconBackground I am on the autism spectrum and often have trouble being assertive without causing a conflict. I've become timid and fearful about trying to be assertive due to past experiences where I've tried to be assertive but have instead been labelled as "difficult". A good example of this...

assertiveness
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Tinkeringbell I voted as not a dupe ^^
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Why not?
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
2:44 PM
The target is about asking for someone who has cut OPs hair before
 
Ælis
Ælis
The other question was about getting a specific hairdresser. This is about avoiding a specific one (OP will be fine with any other)
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
The new question is asking how to get anyone but this one person
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Both are about refusing hairdressers that are free though?
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Wow, we've got so many new questions today!
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Perhaps the OP of the first might need to rinse-repeat a few times until the desired one comes free, but ...
Ah well. I'm going to pack and catch a bus first ;)
 
Ælis
Ælis
2:46 PM
@Tinkeringbell Yes, but the approach might not be the same
@Rainbacon Yeah and two people on this chat are responsible for two of them! :p
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
I think there's a lot more tact needed for asking to not have a specific hairdresser than there is for asking to have a specific hairdresser
 
Ælis
Ælis
^ Agreed
 
Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
0
Q: Complimenting a complet stranger on public transport

ÆlisThe other day, I was in the subway when I saw a bag with a very funny (and feminist) joke on it. The joke made me smile, so I wanted to compliment the person wearing it (my thought was that they brighten my day with their bag, so I could brighten their's with a compliment about the bag/joke in re...

strangers public-transportation compliments
 
scohe001
scohe001
Damn today's busy!
 
avazula
avazula
@scohe001 You're buzy
 
scohe001
scohe001
2:57 PM
You callin me a bee?
Is it cuz I'm yellow?
Rude.
 
avazula
avazula
@scohe001 Oh don't take it like this. I love bees.
 
scohe001
scohe001
@avazula you're right, it's unbeecoming of me to act this way :(
 
avazula
avazula
@scohe001 I wondered what took you so long to answer, I should have seen that pun coming
 
scohe001
scohe001
Hehe ;)
 
Ælis
Ælis
I'm soooooooooo not productive today. There is a problem in your qual, so I can code my tests but not tests them. This is so annoying and it really demotivates me ><
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
3:07 PM
@Ælis That's rough. I felt like that all yesterday
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Rainbacon :/ Are you better today, though?
 
El'endia Starman
El'endia Starman
"qual"?
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
For the moment, yes
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
It might depend on the establishment, but instead of having one disliked stylist, if they ask you who would you prefer, could you offer 2 or 3 suggestions? Would that be a strange thing to do? Not a solution, but in playing to the odds, it might help avoid the one you don't like. — Kozaky 22 secs ago
#21057 Kozaky (5835 rep) | Q: How do I request a different hairdresser? (score: 1) | posted 33 minutes ago by David K (1222 rep) | Toxicity 0.13870025 | tps/fps: 0/0
Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]
 
Ælis
Ælis
@El'endiaStarman We have "dev" (for stuff in development), "qual" (for testing on more stable stuff) and "prod" (for the stuff accessible to everyone)
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
3:09 PM
@IPSCommentBot tp
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Rainbacon I'm glad for you then :)
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Am I supposed to reply to a specific one of the bot's messages to get it to correctly mark?
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Rainbacon Yes
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Which one?
 
El'endia Starman
El'endia Starman
@Ælis Ahhh gotcha. For my company, it's CI (continuous integration), Dev(elopment), QA (quality assurance), and Int(egration), where Int is the first one accessible to our clients.
 
Ælis
Ælis
3:11 PM
@Rainbacon Anyone in the "group of three" you are targetting
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Weird
I keep replying to the "matched regex" one and the bot never marks it
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Rainbacon I'm not sure you do. The little arrow isn't at the beginning of your message
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Maybe it's because I just used @
@IPSCommentBot tp
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
ah, weird
 
Ælis
Ælis
3:14 PM
@Rainbacon Yes, you have to specifically target the message
 
JAD
JAD
@Rainbacon Otherwise how would the bot knows which message you're giving feedback to?
 
Ælis
Ælis
Does anyone here know about katalon.com ? Any thought about it?
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
I thought using @ just targeted the last message.
 
avazula
avazula
3:46 PM
@Ælis I don't know it, no :/
 
Ælis
Ælis
@avazula It's okay dear, I'm just suppose to tell my manager what I think of it but so far I think: nothing. It seems like a good and very big tool but I'm not sure we really need it.
 
avazula
avazula
@Ælis erh... good luck
 
Ælis
Ælis
@avazula Thank you :)
Does anyone here know anything about cultural appropriation and disguising oneself into "indian" (Native American)?
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
4:09 PM
@Ælis I know there's people arguing against it and people that don't see much harm ....
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Tinkeringbell I'm more looking for people who understand why it can be harmful and would be able to summarize it in a few words (note: I'm in no way looking for a debate here)
 
scohe001
scohe001
@Ælis do you have a location for this? Are you thinking US? And what do you mean by "disguising oneself into 'Indian?'"
 
Ælis
Ælis
@scohe001 Location is France (but the answer shouldn't change on the location, shouldn't it?). And I'm thinking of a child dressing themselves as a Native American
(because it's the weekend and they find it cool)
 
scohe001
scohe001
@Ælis eh both cultural appropriation and Native American's have a long bloody history in America. Either of those phrases can still be a little touchy over here depending on where you are and who you're talking to
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@Ælis what is your goal for this?
Are you looking to have talking points that you can discuss with someone?
 
Ælis
Ælis
4:25 PM
@Rainbacon I have a future IPS question about that for IPS (my little cousin was dress as a Native American this weekend and it made me really uncomfortable) and, before asking my question ("how can I let my little cousin mother know that this might be seen as disrespectful") I would like to have a good understanding of why it is disrespectful (to prevent some of the "this isn't disrespectful" comment I will probably have...)
 
scohe001
scohe001
 
avazula
avazula
@Ælis I may be very ignorant, but there are lots of time where I don't understand cultural appropriation and this is one of them ... Do you have resources on the topic that I could read in order to better understand? :)
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
I'm guessing that there is no amount of background that you can put into a post about why it is disrespectful that will prevent those kinds of comments
 
Ælis
Ælis
@avazula I have a very good one at home, I will send it to you later :) But, in this case, I only know that this is disrespectful (or might be seen as such) without properly understanding the why (for other cases of cultural appropriation, I do. But for some, I don't)
 
avazula
avazula
@Ælis Thank you :)
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
4:31 PM
@Ælis Okay, that's going to be a really hard thing to post. I think this was one of those stereotypical costumes, not much respecting the original?
And do you actually want to say you found it inappropriate or do you want to say other people might find it inappropriate?
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Tinkeringbell Yep ^^
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
What's your goal for saying it's inappropriate?
 
scohe001
scohe001
@Ælis I know it may not be what you're looking for...as someone who's part of a sometimes trivialized minority, one of my biggest pet peeves is people trying to stand up for me without any idea why. When I ask them why they thought something was insulting enough to make a scene about they just say "I don't know, it just felt like it might've been insulting to you." without even asking me how I actually felt!
I'd warn your sister about your feelings, but I think acting insulted on behalf of someone else for a reason you don't even know isn't a good idea
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Tinkeringbell I want to point out to my cousin that some people (the native american for once) might find it disrespectful (and maybe she should do research about the topic)
@Tinkeringbell My goal is: If you are insulting someone, at least to it on purpose/know that you are doing it.
@scohe001 (it's not my sister, it's my cousin and the child is my cousin children)
 
scohe001
scohe001
Ahh my bad. Not sure why I thought sister. But it still stands
 
avazula
avazula
4:36 PM
This may very quickly diverge into a controversial post IMO
 
Ælis
Ælis
@scohe001 I just want her to read more about this topic. So as to not insult anyone by mistake
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Yeah.
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
@bruglesco user45623 is absolutely right, though. If we have a set of rules, then those rules should be the rules. There shouldn't be other rules that aren't included in the set of rules. Surely you see how that doesn't make sense? — only_pro 1 min ago
#21041 only_pro (101 rep) | Q: Replacing broken item when price has changed (score: -2) | posted 19 hours ago by user45623 (97 rep) | Toxicity 0.051718522 | tps/fps: 0/0
Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic(@Noon)"]
 
Ælis
Ælis
@avazula Ahah, "very quickly" is probably an understatement x)
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@Ælis It sounds to me like you're trying to figure out if she knows about cultural appropriation?
 
Ælis
Ælis
4:38 PM
@Tinkeringbell Yes, I'm not sure how aware of this topic she is and she might not know much about it
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@Ælis Hmm. I got to switch trains, right back
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
How does one make a chat room about a specific post?
 
scohe001
scohe001
@IPSCommentBot this thread looks on the verge of spiraling
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
Invalid feedback type. Valid feedback types are tp, fp, rude, and wrongo
 
scohe001
scohe001
Sorry bud
@IPSCommentBot tp
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
4:39 PM
Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@scohe001 My thoughts exactly. I was going to make a chat room for it
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
People, especially professionals rarely get drunk at work drinking events. They get a little buzzed. If you don't drink, you might not understand the difference, but there is a huge difference. Try being a little more open-minded. — only_pro 26 secs ago
#3274 only_pro (101 rep) | Q: How to behave at a work organized drinking event as a non drinker? (score: 70) | posted 534 days ago by Magisch (9322 rep) | edited 532 days ago by marcellothearcane (426 rep) | Toxicity 0.4396034 | Comment on inactive post | tps/fps: 0/0
 
Ælis
Ælis
@IPSCommentBot tp
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps
 
Ælis
Ælis
@IPSCommentBot rude
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
4:41 PM
Registered as rude
 
avazula
avazula
@IPSCommentBot rude
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
Registered as rude
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@IPSCommentBot rude
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
Registered as rude
 
scohe001
scohe001
@IPSCommentBot rude
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
4:42 PM
Registered as rude
 
avazula
avazula
Calm down guys, it's already gone ^^
 
El'endia Starman
El'endia Starman
@IPSCommentBot rude
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
Registered as rude
 
avazula
avazula
oh dear xD
 
El'endia Starman
El'endia Starman
@avazula But bandwagons are so much fun! :P
 
Ælis
Ælis
4:43 PM
@avazula Ahah, nice combo-breaker :p
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Just because the comment is gone doesn't mean we can't still train the bot
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
@IPSCommentBot rude
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
Registered as rude
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Rainbacon I believe the bot just need one feedback to be trained, so...
 
avazula
avazula
@Rainbacon There's no training at stake, this is not an AI
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
4:44 PM
Then why are we giving the bot feedback?
 
avazula
avazula
This is plain regex-matching, nothing more fancy than that
 
Ælis
Ælis
@avazula But we could turn it into an AI at some point ^^
 
avazula
avazula
@Ælis That could be a reason why we collect these feedbacks
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Rainbacon To know how successful your regex are
 
avazula
avazula
Ha, I may fork the project and train the bot. That'd be a great way to make sure my AI skills don't get too rusty
:D
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
4:45 PM
@Rainbacon useful for developing regexes and tweaking existing ones
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@avazula do it!
 
avazula
avazula
@Rainbacon Will do. After moving out :)
 
Ælis
Ælis
@avazula Do it, do it, do it! :p
 
avazula
avazula
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@Rainbacon generally, you can a. Move a conversation to chat if you've exchanged enough comments with a single person, or make a room and link it under the post (though I wouldn't recommend that, it may be seen as attempting to bypass writing good comments)
 
Ælis
Ælis
4:47 PM
@avazula Exactly! :p
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@Ælis for your question, perhaps you could ask something about finding out if someone ever thought about X in a certain way, without starting a complete argument?
I'm not sure what usually goes wrong when you do stuff like that, but that sounds close to what I get from what we've discussed
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Tinkeringbell That sounds about right with the added note that I want to point to her that she might want to read more about it if she doesn't already know the subject
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@Ælis Hmm. That's going to be the really difficult part. Perhaps first find out if she actually wants to learn more?
 
Ælis
Ælis
Maybe I'll drop my question in the sandbox before posting it. In any case, I won't ask it today (one question per day is enough ^^)
@Tinkeringbell She is interested in all kind of oppression (plus she is a sociologist), I don't see why she wouldn't want to learn more about it
 
scohe001
scohe001
@Ælis heh. Looking for that Socratic badge I see.
 
Ælis
Ælis
4:56 PM
@scohe001 I'm two questions away of the Inquisitive one first :p
 
scohe001
scohe001
Ooh you'll be the first on the site to earn it!!
 
Ælis
Ælis
@scohe001 Hehe, I can't say that I'm surprised though, you lot aren't asking much questions! :p
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Ugh, I waited too long to go get groceries and now the snow has started. Good thing it's only a 1 block walk to the store
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@Ælis I asked 20 ;). It's just been boring lately ;)
 
Ælis
Ælis
@Tinkeringbell Hum, I wasn't there when you ask most of them. I had no idea you ask so many questions "back in the days" :p
 
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