The Awkward Silence

bruglesco

02:48

@Mithrandir That's a beautiful view. Where is it?

Extroverted Main Man

04:10

0

Q: Worried about girlfriend lifestyle changes

My girlfriend has been experimenting with different lifestyle changes lately, which I think is not only amazing, but an important element in growth. I would like to support her through all these changes the best I can. For example, a few months ago she decided she wanted to experiment with vegeta...

conversations

El'endia Starman

04:26

@TheTinyMan: @ElizB and I just finished The Dragon Prince season 2. You were right; pretty great! :D

Anilla

06:09

Anyone in here decent at math? Calculus+?

dhein

@Tinkeringbell Thanks, too kind :)

Hey everyone :)

And by the way, I liked how virolino improved his answer. It should be fine now, isn't it?

Anilla

@dhein Hey :)

dhein

Thanks for the lesson momma tinki xP
Hahaha no, was indeed very interesting and also I learned again a bit more about my self. As this is inline with why I sometimes feel uncomfortable with greeting strangers... I just had realized now.

@Anilla Heya :) How r u doin?

Tinkeringbell

@dhein The one about name changing? I cleaned up some comments there. I'd left two: the one where they say this is how friends announced their name change to them and the one asking for backup of that kind. I don't really see that info clearly in the answer yet (though the questions about how people reacted are now indeed answered)

@dhein You're welcome ;)

Anilla

@dhein I'm doing well :D Just trying to figure out maths well above my schooling to finish up a program hehe

Tinkeringbell

06:21

@Anilla Sorry!! I can do addition, multiplication and percentages really well (worked retail) but the rest is out of my league

Anilla

@Tinkeringbell Ahh no worries, thanks though! I've worked retail too, knowing those things are super important! xD I'm stepping out my comfort zone to figure out how to make this thingy work

Tinkeringbell

Perhaps one of the math sites can be of help? I'd go for the mathematics one, not mathoverflow (heard that's the really professional stuff)... ?

dhein

@Tinkeringbell Is the edit he just made 20 mintues ago, still not sufficient for backup?

Tinkeringbell

@dhein I like the comment better than the edit, though it may just be phrasing. ;) I'll take a closer look after breakfast

Anilla

@Tinkeringbell I'm not quite sure if it'd be good-question-material. It's more of a homework exercise and I kinda don't even know what to ask lol. Kinda like finding out what I'm looking for by asking a bunch of questions if that makes sense

Tinkeringbell

06:27

It's at least no longer in need of deletion ;)

dhein

@Tinkeringbell That was my point :D The effort of compliance he made :P

enjoy your toast :)

@Anilla I would love to help, but as hinted yesterday... I am not that math proficient ^^

Anilla

@dhein It's totally cool. I'll figure it out one way or another. The internet has gotten me to where I'm at now hehe.

How are ya'll btw? It's morning or something for ya now? :P

dhein

06:41

Yeh morning here for me. And I am totally fine :) wbu?

Anilla

@dhein It's 1:45 A.M. for me lol... and I'm trying to calculate the derivative of sigmoid functions XD

dhein

06:57

Ahhh yeah, thats what 1:45 am is my favorite time for, too.

In my dreams! xD

Anilla

@dhein For me this is more of a nightmare xD What are you up to?

dhein

Sitting at work doing IP analyses. And checking for new flats on our corporate portal in infrequent intervalls ^^

Anilla

@dhein I love analyses lol. Find a flat with a big kitchen ;)

dhein

@Anilla That was the plan, but for now I'd be happy finding a flat at all v.v

Anilla

@dhein Oof, oh my. What's givin' ya trouble finding any?

Also side note sorry I keep not using the reply thing you taught me to XD it's just easier to use the tagging system hehe

dhein

07:07

@Anilla The landlords I think? Or the competition for flats in my area... Dunno, kindof an philosophical question :P

I mean the problem isn't finding any, but getting them ^^

Anilla

@dhein I get it. It can be pretty tricky in the US sometimes. Guess Germany is the same way heh

dhein

I think it is more a problem of the area I am in than a general problem. I am working for a large IT company, having 15.000 employees here at their HQ where I work. So the demand for flats in this area is accordingly.

Anilla

@dhein Ohhh, that makes a bit more sense then. That is pretty massive lol. I'd feel so small in that company :P

dhein

@Anilla: Well I would do so, too I thoguht at first, but my networking worked quite well, so far. Important people of different company areas knowing who I am already makes me feel kinda less small than I had assumed I would xP

And I actually am very surprised by that... how well I am doing here :)

I had already 6 events (interviews/on stage speeches) where I was representing the company in the public. And another one is appointed. And that despite I am just here for 5 months now and still on trial period :D

Anilla

@dhein That's great! :D Glad to hear it's going well Mr. Popular ;)

dhein

07:22

Mr. Popular hmmmm.... I like that name xP

Jasper

@Anilla I forgot all the math, but what is the problem anyway? Then maybe we can let you know where to post.

Anilla

@Jasper I think I figured it out now. I basically had to propagate through a function taking its partial derivative each iteration. I'm not quite sure I understand it... but it looks like it's working lol

@Ælis hey! Good morning :D

Jasper

@Anilla Oh OK. If needed, you can post on Math SE main site, or maybe ask in the chat room there.

Anilla

@Jasper Okie dokie. Thank ya! :)

@dhein I hate python... utterly despicable. Now I know why its branding involves a snake hehe :P

dhein

@Anilla :D

Anilla

07:31

@dhein I'm trying to figure out how to do all this stuff in Go... 'cause everything was written in Python :(

dhein

Go.... hjak... Their idea of stable builds is very weird. I just read an introduction about it when I had to analyize a GO project.... and it is so strange to figure what components are taken from which sources >.<

Ælis

@Anilla Ssssh, I was trying to lurk here :p

Anilla

@dhein I hate the dependency management scheme... but it's compiled natively and has extremely mature web libraries... too convenient hehe

@Ælis pretends to not see you :P

dhein

@Anilla: Yeah, but I am being an analyst and not an developer anymore.... Its my job to track back these dependencies. And in that regards GO is really weird ^^

Anilla

@dhein Very true. I wish it followed something more standard like CMake or maybe even Gradle

dhein

07:40

Or node.js? ^^

I love that one

avazula

Hello everyone

dhein

Node.js/NPM

Anilla

@avazula Hello! :D How's it going?

@dhein Node is nice too :)

avazula

@Anilla Pretty stressful. Coworkers want me to solve issues that they initiated and are responsible for, and I'm moving out on Saturday and I haven't finished packing yet ^^ but the mood is good. What about you? :)

Anilla

@avazula Oh no... I'm sorry to hear that. Do your Coworkers often present such a problem? Moving out! Woooo! I'm doing well... working on a li'l' project before I go to bed hehe

Ælis

07:51

I wanted to flag a comment as unfriendly but, since I'm on my phone, I can't :'( here if you want to take a look: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/21044/…

avazula

@Anilla They do this a lot ^^ I just have to suck it up I guess.

Wooh! Sounds fun :)

@Ælis I already did dear

Anilla

@avazula Aw that's too bad >_< My project is going decent... math at night becomes fun until you start doubting basic arithmetic XD

Ælis

@avazula :-*

avazula

@Anilla Haha. I remember my college midterms. I'd double check every 1-digit addition with my calculator because of stress :p

Anilla

@avazula Exactly. Your calculator can feel the stress once you type in "5*2" xD I think I'm gonna start it back up in the morning... all these sigmoids and differentials make me wanna fall asleep :P

avazula

08:00

@Anilla Haha. Have a good night :)

Anilla

@avazula Thanks :) Gl with your work!

dhein

@Anilla: SLeep tight :)

avazula

@Anilla Thanks! :)

Mithrandir

08:13

@bruglesco on a mountain in the North of Israel

dhein

@Mithrandir Holy, thanks for pinging on it. Thats beautiful indeed

Theoretical question, cause I slowly start panicing: Given, that through out this month, I was looking for a flat available for the 1st of April while most flats were available slightly earlier or even already for the 1st of march. Given the competition its likely there were usually also a few already looking for to move in 01.03... So can I assume having better chances in march?
Where the 01st of April actually WILL be the nearest point for moving in? Or should I infact slowly start panicing? :x

JAD

08:29

@dhein the question you would have to ask is whether paying up to a month extra rent while you are not living there is worth it to prevent the risk of not having something lined up at april 1st

dhein

@Jad: I am not sure you get what I mean/I am explaining it correctly. This was more a refference to what I told about 1 or 2 days ago. That I really having trouble finding someone renting me a flat and them deciding most of the time for others.
I just asked my self now, if the reason for rejecting me might have been prefering others due to them being able to move in earlier even despite the flat was listed most of the times for 1st of april. So if my chances might get better when it becomes march. ^^

"renting me a flat" is so wrong translated, but lacking of a better wording right now >.<

JAD

ah

I figured you were rejecting offers because the lease would start before april 1st

dhein

nah nah. I am just worried not finding a flat till the first of april as that would mean I had to move out of my old flat but not having a new one >.>

JAD

yeah, I understand

so if they ask when you could move in, you could mention that april 1st is your "deadline", but earlier is negotiable/possible (depends a bit on finances I guess)

dhein

08:46

@JAD Hmmm, yeah. Haven't considered that aproach yet. But yeh thats a good way I could have handled that. (And gonna do for the next few days '^.^)

Extroverted Main Man

1

Q: Parents fighting a lot recently, and aren't 'dealing' with the problem causing it to blow up next time - How do I get them to work it out?

My parents are the two best people I know. They both love each other, and wouldn't dream about even considering getting a divorce. But sometimes they lose sight of that. Recently, they've been getting into a lot of fights. I think it might have something to do with stress, or some other issue, (M...

united-states family parents

JAD

09:07

@dhein good luck. It sucks having uncertainty in housing :/

Ælis

09:37

If I want to add an answer (about being nice to the OP and extra careful when making assumptions in order to not hurt OP's feelings) to your good answers faq, is there something I should do first? Some guidelines to follow? (cc @Tinkeringbell )

Tinkeringbell

Hmmm. Let me think bout that. We already have a point saying to answer the question asked and focus on expertise over opinion.

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell Yeah but sometimes you need to make an assumption like here or you just feel like you have to in order to make a good answer like here and this is fine, as long as it is done respectfully and with regards to the OP's feeling

Oh dear, I don't like it when user decides to answer several questions in a row, it's always a sign of bad answers ><

Ælis

10:00

.

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis If you have to make an assumption, a comment requesting clarification should be made (IMO).

Like I asked you whether there was age difference between your coworkers ;)

Ælis

Yeah but people tend to not do it and answer anyway. So I figure it would be good to add something about that in the faq (because those wrong assumptions can really be hurtful)

Tinkeringbell

Hmm. I'm a bit mixed feeling on this: On the one hand I don't want to clutter up the post with a general 'be nice' notice. On the other hand, perhaps we can elaborate on one of the existing points with 'request clarification instead of making assumptions in your answer'. < To me, that's not about writing a good answer as much as general SE good manners.

Lets see what other people think. Opinions?

JAD

10:26

> To me, that's not about writing a good answer as much as general SE good manners.

Given that IPS often deals with very personal stuff, I think there is more harm that can be done by making assumptions than on say... SFF.SE. So it might be worth pointing out.

Tinkeringbell

@JAD So, new point or perhaps just add a line to interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/a/3268/1599?

JAD

@Tinkeringbell maybe, although I don't think it's an exact duplicate. What you linked appears to focus more on adhering to OP's wishes when those are clear, but this is more about what to do when they are not.

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Yeah... that's why my mind keeps circling back to 'it's not about writing a good answer' because it's about not writing an answer but commenting in this case.

So I would either add a line to that part, say 'if OP's wishes aren't clear, don't answer, comment first'... it seems strange to add a part to 'how do I write a good answer' that is about not writing an answer at all (to me).

JAD

@Tinkeringbell point taken :P

@Tinkeringbell sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all ;)

see it as a framechallenge to the question of writing good answers: You don't

Tinkeringbell

Yeah.... that's why I'm struggling a bit with adding this to a faq on writing a good answer. Perhaps we can make a 'good manners' entry to our faq, and include it there?

JAD

10:37

or is that too meta?

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Probably ;)

My goal with those bits was to have them be as self-contained as possible, so we could refer people to specific points (instead of an entire post). Only in case of specific problems though, if there's a lot wrong I just link the entire post too ;)

Besides... the word frame-challenge is a bit of 'semantic noise' (Sorry, been reading, all sorts of ideas right now).

> This type of noise occurs when grammar or technical language is used that the receiver (the decoder) cannot understand, or cannot understand it clearly.

A lot of people don't really understand 'frame-challenge' or don't understand clearly what it means within a context of IPS. If we want to communicate a bit better, it's perhaps better to leave that word out of comments/answers ;)

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell To me, in order to write a good answer, you also need to know when not to write one. So saying "don't write a duplicate answer" or "don't make assumptions, ask questions instead" would have its place in your faq

Tinkeringbell

True. I then propose adding it as a line to one of the existing points I linked earlier, instead of as an entirely new point.

And perhaps we need to rephrase the one about duplicate answers into something like 'write answers that contain something new'.

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell adding it into an existing part seems good to me. Maybe we could put it into point 2 and 5 (don't make assumptions, be nice and careful with your wording). And for the duplicate answers, adding a line about 'write answers that contain something new' would be nice indeed (but not sure if we need to rephrase what already exist. Maybe just adding that would be enough)

Mithrandir

10:58

→ 12 messages moved to Trash

IPS Comment Bot

I just love it when it is nice and simple. +1 — virolino 41 secs ago

#20733 virolino (287 rep) | A: How to politely decline an equipment rent request? (score: 9) | posted 27 days ago by The Wraith (7969 rep) | Toxicity 0.07325831 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["+1"]

Mithrandir

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

Tinkeringbell

I've already gave the titles of 'duplicate answers' an update.... I can't really get the wording on assumptions to work though, as I said it feels strange telling people to improve the question in a post about writing good answers. I'm going to look at some other faq posts, perhaps we should add a 'answer well asked questions' part like in our help center.

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell "If you have to make an assumption in order for your answer to work, stop writing your answer and ask OP to confirm what you think is true"

"Also, please note that a wrong assumption can be really hurtful to the OP, so be careful with your wording"

Ælis

11:38

Any trick to not forget to say "Hi" to coworkers when writing to them on instant messaging? Like, I have a question so I write it to them in slack. And then they answer by saying "Hi" before answering the question and I feel rude to not have say "Hi" in the first place ><

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis Taking a slight delay before pressing send? and if you hadn't, just put a 'hi' in front of the message. I generally like my hi's and questions to be in the same message ;)

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell Trying to think before sending a message can't hurt :P But I'm not sure it would be enough to make me remember that I have to say "Hi" (I usually use a reminder for this kind of situation where I know I will forget to do something but this is not the kind of situation where I can just set a predefined alarm at the right time)

Tinkeringbell

This one isn't going to work like that, I'm afraid. It feels like it's not descriptive enough, yet I'm hesitant to work it out fully as that's going to be making existing points too long.
People won't see this as obvious (and those that do will hopefully already be aware and moderate their tone). Also, I'm a bit hesitant against putting something about 'tone of the answer' into a faq that's likely going to be used by people to moderate said answers too... If something isn't nice, we have the CoC for that already, and rude/abusive flags.

Ælis

11:57

@Tinkeringbell I feel that the CoC isn't specific (good?) enough for IPS. I think we really need to have some place where we express even more that people really need to be nice and careful with other people feelings. But yeah, putting that in your answer faq might not be the best place

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Survival without Linkedin profile in software industry

Internet is full of advantages of having a linkedin profile. I, despite being a software engineer, don't feel comfortable (and feel anxious a lot - extremely panic feeling) broadcasting myself and my employment history. Overall, I am not active on Social Media and haven't made myself 'googlable'....

socializing social-media anxiety programmer

JAD

@Tinkeringbell the latter part is important. Nothing is more annoying than someone saying hi, waiting for you to respond, and only then start typing their question, leaving you sitting there waiting

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Yeeeep!

Termatinator

12:16

hey how's it going?

Tinkeringbell

Hi! Quite well over here :)

and there?

@Ælis I'm not really sure how or where. I'll ask around if other sites have had similar problems and how they handle it :)

Termatinator

meh, been better, but it's nothing of importance

JAD

@Tinkeringbell I'm not convinced if writing down common sense in even more places is really going to do much :/

Tinkeringbell

That too. It would be nice if we could get people to think about the one of their answers and how they are coming across, but I'm not sure we can ever put up a good guideline on it... How much criticism (this is a bad idea, you messed up here) people can take and how to present it already varies so much by culture alone...

one other thing about those kinds of posts/guidelines is that people can use them to rules-lawyer: 'But I didn't do that example thing'.

Perhaps it's better to focus on writing good, experience based and nice answers ourselves, set an example... an if we see things star…

But I'll ask around, I know there's other sites that sometimes struggle with answers that have a harsh tone.

Termatinator

12:34

oh and something unrelated to my mood. i got a playstation friend who's missing for us for months, he already agreed to share phone numbers with another friend, but he never spoke about it with me. I did some research and eventually found his phone number on the internet, i shared that with the friend that he agreed to share numbers with and did nothing with it myself, did i act in a good way to him missing?

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to properly criticize a poor (scientific) work?

My question: Are there ways to point out errors of somebody's scientific work without sounding harsh or as if I am discrediting that person? A lot can be found criticizing well and proper feedback, but that usually concerns a face-to-face conversation between two people who know each other. My si...

school criticism

ElizB

12:59

@Anilla @El'endiaStarman graduated with mathematics degree and he loves math. Ping him and see if he can help.

Hi everyone good morning

Termatinator

@ElizB hey, remember me?

ElizB

13:58

@Termatinator yeah?

Termatinator

@ElizB thought i'd come back after being gone for a while

ElizB

14:11

@Termatinator welcome back :) it has been a while

Termatinator

@ElizB thx

Rainbacon

Good morning people and robots of IPS land!

Ælis

@Rainbacon Good morning rain and bacon of this land! :p

Rainbacon

It is a good morning! I woke up to 100 points of new rep :)

Ælis

@Rainbacon Wahoo, that's nice indeed!

Rainbacon

14:22

@Tinkeringbell I finally got around to adding another example to my sandbox post. What do you think of it?

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Did you communicate anything about those preferences up front to those recruiters? If you could add that (or clarify that they only really have your CV and a few things like 'wants to work as a software dev'), I really think it's good to go.

Rainbacon

Yes, I did

Tinkeringbell

So you're getting proposals that go against a preference you've already stated?

Rainbacon

Cool, I'll make some slight tweaks to add that information and then post it onto main

Yes

Tinkeringbell

Nice! Looking forward to seeing it (and perhaps even answering ;) )

Rainbacon

14:26

There's also the pushback.

> The typical response I get to this is something trying to convince me that reason X is an incorrect assumption in order to get me to reconsider.

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon True. But it would help to know that they already sent a proposal that goes against your wishes and they already knew that. Otherwise, it may come across as 'they sent you something they thought was a good fit based on what they had about you, you decline, they try and convince you nonetheless'.

Rainbacon

For example, last night I got one for a job at an Ad Tech company. I told the recruiter I don't want to work at an ad tech company and his response was "Oh well they don't think of themselves as an ad tech company because they do analytics on ad campaigns"

Tinkeringbell

To be honest... I find recruiters quite immoveable. I quit LinkedIn because I grew crazy of people asking me to give up a job I liked for something with a lot less security and in a sector I wasn't even interested in (like your ad tech, or military/defense/insurance/banking)

Rainbacon

I've actually considered giving up on the recruiters myself

Related question, is there a tactful way to tell someone that if a job looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it's probably the thing I just told them I didn't want?

Ælis

@Rainbacon "I'm sorry but this won't do either"?

"It's to similar to ad tech"

Tinkeringbell

14:31

@Rainbacon I'd likely go with 'I thought we already discussed this, but if not, I'm sorry for not mentioning it sooner. I really don't want to work in ad tech, and this is similar enough to that that I'm not going to do this either'.

Though I'd only resort to that if they kept pushing ad tech to me/telling me something is not ad tech.

Rainbacon

Those are good suggestions. What I ended up going with was "I stand by my original assessment that this isn't the right opportunity for me"

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Sounds okay to me too ;)

You could perhaps also ask 'If this isn't ad tech, could you explain what it does fall under? I'd like to avoid getting offers for these kinds of jobs, and I had hoped saying 'no ad tech' would filter them out. If it doesn't, I could use some help with setting up a better filter'.

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell Oh, that's a nice one!

Tinkeringbell

That way, you keep a bit more communication open with your recruiter, and an opportunity to work out between the two of you what works and doesn't work.

Of course, that requires your recruiter is actually interested in that kind of customer-relation.

Not having used many recruiters myself, I can't really prove it works ;)

Rainbacon

My other main experience with recruiters is that they tend to be recruiting for the jobs that are less desirable.

Tinkeringbell

14:39

True too. The desirable jobs don't really need a recruiter ;)

Any way of getting an overview of job vacancies, without going through a recruiter?

Rainbacon

Yeah, there are job boards, but I haven't had a lot of success with those

Also, our friend the main man should be stopping by soon

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How do I request a different hairdresser?

When I get my hair cut I always go to the same chain location, because it's on my way home from work and convenient. I don't have a particular stylist, so I don't make an appointment and just walk in and take the first available person. For the most part I don't care who cuts my hair, as they mos...

politeness customer-interactions

0

Q: How can I be assertive without being labelled as difficult?

Background I am on the autism spectrum and often have trouble being assertive without causing a conflict. I've become timid and fearful about trying to be assertive due to past experiences where I've tried to be assertive but have instead been labelled as "difficult". A good example of this...

assertiveness

Tinkeringbell

@ExtrovertedMainMan Dupe: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/20647/1599

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell I voted as not a dupe ^^

Tinkeringbell

Why not?

Rainbacon

14:44

The target is about asking for someone who has cut OPs hair before

Ælis

The other question was about getting a specific hairdresser. This is about avoiding a specific one (OP will be fine with any other)

Rainbacon

The new question is asking how to get anyone but this one person

Tinkeringbell

Both are about refusing hairdressers that are free though?

Rainbacon

Wow, we've got so many new questions today!

Tinkeringbell

Perhaps the OP of the first might need to rinse-repeat a few times until the desired one comes free, but ...

Ah well. I'm going to pack and catch a bus first ;)

Ælis

14:46

@Tinkeringbell Yes, but the approach might not be the same

@Rainbacon Yeah and two people on this chat are responsible for two of them! :p

Rainbacon

I think there's a lot more tact needed for asking to not have a specific hairdresser than there is for asking to have a specific hairdresser

Ælis

^ Agreed

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Complimenting a complet stranger on public transport

The other day, I was in the subway when I saw a bag with a very funny (and feminist) joke on it. The joke made me smile, so I wanted to compliment the person wearing it (my thought was that they brighten my day with their bag, so I could brighten their's with a compliment about the bag/joke in re...

strangers public-transportation compliments

scohe001

Damn today's busy!

avazula

@scohe001 You're buzy

scohe001

14:57

You callin me a bee?

Is it cuz I'm yellow?

Rude.

avazula

@scohe001 Oh don't take it like this. I love bees.

scohe001

@avazula you're right, it's unbeecoming of me to act this way :(

avazula

@scohe001 I wondered what took you so long to answer, I should have seen that pun coming

scohe001

Hehe ;)

Ælis

I'm soooooooooo not productive today. There is a problem in your qual, so I can code my tests but not tests them. This is so annoying and it really demotivates me ><

Rainbacon

15:07

@Ælis That's rough. I felt like that all yesterday

Ælis

@Rainbacon :/ Are you better today, though?

El'endia Starman

"qual"?

Rainbacon

For the moment, yes

IPS Comment Bot

It might depend on the establishment, but instead of having one disliked stylist, if they ask you who would you prefer, could you offer 2 or 3 suggestions? Would that be a strange thing to do? Not a solution, but in playing to the odds, it might help avoid the one you don't like. — Kozaky 22 secs ago

#21057 Kozaky (5835 rep) | Q: How do I request a different hairdresser? (score: 1) | posted 33 minutes ago by David K (1222 rep) | Toxicity 0.13870025 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

Ælis

@El'endiaStarman We have "dev" (for stuff in development), "qual" (for testing on more stable stuff) and "prod" (for the stuff accessible to everyone)

Rainbacon

15:09

@IPSCommentBot tp

Ælis

@Rainbacon I'm glad for you then :)

Rainbacon

Am I supposed to reply to a specific one of the bot's messages to get it to correctly mark?

Ælis

@Rainbacon Yes

Rainbacon

Which one?

El'endia Starman

@Ælis Ahhh gotcha. For my company, it's CI (continuous integration), Dev(elopment), QA (quality assurance), and Int(egration), where Int is the first one accessible to our clients.

Ælis

15:11

@Rainbacon Anyone in the "group of three" you are targetting

Rainbacon

Weird

I keep replying to the "matched regex" one and the bot never marks it

Ælis

@Rainbacon I'm not sure you do. The little arrow isn't at the beginning of your message

Rainbacon

Maybe it's because I just used @

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

Rainbacon

ah, weird

Ælis

15:14

@Rainbacon Yes, you have to specifically target the message

JAD

@Rainbacon Otherwise how would the bot knows which message you're giving feedback to?

Ælis

Does anyone here know about katalon.com ? Any thought about it?

Rainbacon

I thought using @ just targeted the last message.

avazula

15:46

@Ælis I don't know it, no :/

Ælis

@avazula It's okay dear, I'm just suppose to tell my manager what I think of it but so far I think: nothing. It seems like a good and very big tool but I'm not sure we really need it.

avazula

@Ælis erh... good luck

Ælis

@avazula Thank you :)

Does anyone here know anything about cultural appropriation and disguising oneself into "indian" (Native American)?

Tinkeringbell

16:09

@Ælis I know there's people arguing against it and people that don't see much harm ....

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell I'm more looking for people who understand why it can be harmful and would be able to summarize it in a few words (note: I'm in no way looking for a debate here)

scohe001

@Ælis do you have a location for this? Are you thinking US? And what do you mean by "disguising oneself into 'Indian?'"

Ælis

@scohe001 Location is France (but the answer shouldn't change on the location, shouldn't it?). And I'm thinking of a child dressing themselves as a Native American

(because it's the weekend and they find it cool)

scohe001

@Ælis eh both cultural appropriation and Native American's have a long bloody history in America. Either of those phrases can still be a little touchy over here depending on where you are and who you're talking to

Rainbacon

@Ælis what is your goal for this?

Are you looking to have talking points that you can discuss with someone?

Ælis

16:25

@Rainbacon I have a future IPS question about that for IPS (my little cousin was dress as a Native American this weekend and it made me really uncomfortable) and, before asking my question ("how can I let my little cousin mother know that this might be seen as disrespectful") I would like to have a good understanding of why it is disrespectful (to prevent some of the "this isn't disrespectful" comment I will probably have...)

scohe001

@Ælis this might help: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/13890/11811

avazula

@Ælis I may be very ignorant, but there are lots of time where I don't understand cultural appropriation and this is one of them ... Do you have resources on the topic that I could read in order to better understand? :)

Rainbacon

I'm guessing that there is no amount of background that you can put into a post about why it is disrespectful that will prevent those kinds of comments

Ælis

@avazula I have a very good one at home, I will send it to you later :) But, in this case, I only know that this is disrespectful (or might be seen as such) without properly understanding the why (for other cases of cultural appropriation, I do. But for some, I don't)

avazula

@Ælis Thank you :)

Tinkeringbell

16:31

@Ælis Okay, that's going to be a really hard thing to post. I think this was one of those stereotypical costumes, not much respecting the original?

And do you actually want to say you found it inappropriate or do you want to say other people might find it inappropriate?

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell Yep ^^

Tinkeringbell

What's your goal for saying it's inappropriate?

scohe001

@Ælis I know it may not be what you're looking for...as someone who's part of a sometimes trivialized minority, one of my biggest pet peeves is people trying to stand up for me without any idea why. When I ask them why they thought something was insulting enough to make a scene about they just say "I don't know, it just felt like it might've been insulting to you." without even asking me how I actually felt!

I'd warn your sister about your feelings, but I think acting insulted on behalf of someone else for a reason you don't even know isn't a good idea

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell I want to point out to my cousin that some people (the native american for once) might find it disrespectful (and maybe she should do research about the topic)

@Tinkeringbell My goal is: If you are insulting someone, at least to it on purpose/know that you are doing it.

@scohe001 (it's not my sister, it's my cousin and the child is my cousin children)

scohe001

Ahh my bad. Not sure why I thought sister. But it still stands

avazula

16:36

This may very quickly diverge into a controversial post IMO

Ælis

@scohe001 I just want her to read more about this topic. So as to not insult anyone by mistake

Tinkeringbell

Yeah.

IPS Comment Bot

@bruglesco user45623 is absolutely right, though. If we have a set of rules, then those rules should be the rules. There shouldn't be other rules that aren't included in the set of rules. Surely you see how that doesn't make sense? — only_pro 1 min ago

#21041 only_pro (101 rep) | Q: Replacing broken item when price has changed (score: -2) | posted 19 hours ago by user45623 (97 rep) | Toxicity 0.051718522 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic(@Noon)"]

Ælis

@avazula Ahah, "very quickly" is probably an understatement x)

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis It sounds to me like you're trying to figure out if she knows about cultural appropriation?

Ælis

16:38

@Tinkeringbell Yes, I'm not sure how aware of this topic she is and she might not know much about it

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis Hmm. I got to switch trains, right back

Rainbacon

How does one make a chat room about a specific post?

scohe001

@IPSCommentBot this thread looks on the verge of spiraling

IPS Comment Bot

Invalid feedback type. Valid feedback types are tp, fp, rude, and wrongo

scohe001

Sorry bud

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

16:39

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

Rainbacon

@scohe001 My thoughts exactly. I was going to make a chat room for it

IPS Comment Bot

People, especially professionals rarely get drunk at work drinking events. They get a little buzzed. If you don't drink, you might not understand the difference, but there is a huge difference. Try being a little more open-minded. — only_pro 26 secs ago

Ælis

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

Ælis

@IPSCommentBot rude

IPS Comment Bot

16:41

Registered as rude

avazula

@IPSCommentBot rude

IPS Comment Bot

Registered as rude

Rainbacon

@IPSCommentBot rude

IPS Comment Bot

Registered as rude

scohe001

@IPSCommentBot rude

IPS Comment Bot

16:42

Registered as rude

avazula

Calm down guys, it's already gone ^^

El'endia Starman

@IPSCommentBot rude

IPS Comment Bot

Registered as rude

avazula

oh dear xD

El'endia Starman

@avazula But bandwagons are so much fun! :P

Ælis

16:43

@avazula Ahah, nice combo-breaker :p

Rainbacon

Just because the comment is gone doesn't mean we can't still train the bot

Mithrandir

@IPSCommentBot rude

IPS Comment Bot

Registered as rude

Ælis

@Rainbacon I believe the bot just need one feedback to be trained, so...

avazula

@Rainbacon There's no training at stake, this is not an AI

Rainbacon

16:44

Then why are we giving the bot feedback?

avazula

This is plain regex-matching, nothing more fancy than that

Ælis

@avazula But we could turn it into an AI at some point ^^

avazula

@Ælis That could be a reason why we collect these feedbacks

Ælis

@Rainbacon To know how successful your regex are

avazula

Ha, I may fork the project and train the bot. That'd be a great way to make sure my AI skills don't get too rusty

:D

Mithrandir

16:45

@Rainbacon useful for developing regexes and tweaking existing ones

Rainbacon

@avazula do it!

avazula

@Rainbacon Will do. After moving out :)

Ælis

@avazula Do it, do it, do it! :p

avazula

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon generally, you can a. Move a conversation to chat if you've exchanged enough comments with a single person, or make a room and link it under the post (though I wouldn't recommend that, it may be seen as attempting to bypass writing good comments)

Ælis

16:47

@avazula Exactly! :p

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis for your question, perhaps you could ask something about finding out if someone ever thought about X in a certain way, without starting a complete argument?

I'm not sure what usually goes wrong when you do stuff like that, but that sounds close to what I get from what we've discussed

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell That sounds about right with the added note that I want to point to her that she might want to read more about it if she doesn't already know the subject

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis Hmm. That's going to be the really difficult part. Perhaps first find out if she actually wants to learn more?

Ælis

Maybe I'll drop my question in the sandbox before posting it. In any case, I won't ask it today (one question per day is enough ^^)

@Tinkeringbell She is interested in all kind of oppression (plus she is a sociologist), I don't see why she wouldn't want to learn more about it

scohe001

@Ælis heh. Looking for that Socratic badge I see.

Ælis

16:56

@scohe001 I'm two questions away of the Inquisitive one first :p

scohe001

Ooh you'll be the first on the site to earn it!!

Ælis

@scohe001 Hehe, I can't say that I'm surprised though, you lot aren't asking much questions! :p

Rainbacon

Ugh, I waited too long to go get groceries and now the snow has started. Good thing it's only a 1 block walk to the store

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis I asked 20 ;). It's just been boring lately ;)

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell Hum, I wasn't there when you ask most of them. I had no idea you ask so many questions "back in the days" :p

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