The Awkward Silence

1:00 PM

Probably easier to suss-out on the lower rungs... When you look at unskilled labor jobs the gaps become pretty obvious.

@Tinkeringbell Sure, but there are also conscious choices perpetuated by societal issues that we should address. Many women make a conscious choice not to work in fields of science, technology, engineering, and mathematics. On an individual basis that's fine. As a general pattern we begin to notice women are averse to those fields due to a societal stigma of them being unwomanly or ungirly as early as high school, which is a problem.

apaul

At least in the US

doppelgreener

(Hence so many STEM support services, grants, organisations, etc specifically targeting and supporting women)

apaul

@doppelgreener intersectionality? Sounds like it might be...

doppelgreener

@apaul probably

Tinkeringbell

1:02 PM

@doppelgreener Yeah, and those irk me. They should support everyone, sure they can make a point that STEM doesn't make you ungirly but to me that doesn't mean boys should have less support.... :/

Belle-Sophie

It's a difficult topic. Also difficult to fix. Reverse sexism is just as bad.

And it's easy to go from equality into reverse sexism.

Tinkeringbell

It's like the politicians here discussing quota's for how many handicapped and female employees there should be at companies/levels. It's not really helping the discussion to only support one side...

doppelgreener

@Tinkeringbell The thing is, boys have plenty of support. Everyone is happy to encourage a boy to get into STEM and plenty of access to scholarships and so on. Those extra organisations exist to try to draw women into STEM, to help remove all the reasons why they might not.

apaul

@Belle-Sophie Eh....

avazula

@Belle-Sophie That's generally where the line is drawn between "real feminism" and what people think feminism is about.

doppelgreener

1:04 PM

This is that equality vs equity diagram with people standing on boxes: in this case, the boys do not need these boxes. They are fine without them.

Tinkeringbell

@doppelgreener Okay. Now I'm a bit confused. chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/46119463#46119463 seems to suggest girls avoid studying STEM fields, because they/society feels it's ungirly. Now you're saying that even if they didn't care about being ungirly, they have less chance of getting a scholarship when they apply for a 'regular' one that doesn't segregate based on gender?

apaul

An issue lacking an obvious single causation, does not mean that the combined causes have less impact, or that they deserve less attention.

doppelgreener

What looks like an enormous amount of support for women is more boxes being assigned to them on the basis that the men have seats in the stands already.

Tinkeringbell

@doppelgreener Honestly, I find the whole thing where people keep shoving boxes at me, while I can see the game perfectly fine through the glass, just as the men beside me, kinda insulting.

Secespitus

@doppelgreener But there is also the problem of boys being trained not to go into certain fields. Being a teacher in elementary school for example.

Magisch

1:06 PM

@apaul This is a #1 stop shop to be laughed out of the room

doppelgreener

@Tinkeringbell I'll clarify. Girls avoid STEM due to societal stigma: girls shouldn't study STEM. As a countermeasure, there are many organisations specifically trying to recruit women into STEM: "come join us!". There are organisations trying to get them into courses, the workplace, and academia, to have more representation of women in STEM fields. The boys do not need this because the boys practically get pushed straight into a STEM course the moment they say "maybe I'd like to try some math".

apaul

Not to step on the obvious "not all men" landmine, but... Not all men have the same traditional privilege. That was a hard lesson to learn upon coming out.

Magisch

If I mentioned that anywhere in any discussion there's a probably 95% chance that whoever listens will decide I'm a loon right then

doppelgreener

Where women experience stigma and so may be dissuaded and need outreach, the boys are being encouraged and nothing is repelling them away from STEM fields.

Tinkeringbell

@doppelgreener Sure. That's okay, I can live with the flyers and leaflets and trying to change a mindset of a society. What I can't live with is the fact that these organisations apparently are discriminating who they give their scholarship to based on gender, instead of academic prowess

avazula

1:08 PM

@Magisch you're a bird?

doppelgreener

@Secespitus Yes, completely agree. Boys experience the exact phenomenon for certain other kinds of positions like teaching.

Magisch

@doppelgreener This is a double edged sword however. Nowadays, there's a significant contingent of people who believe women and minorities have unearned advantages, which ironically, counters the purpose of these programs

doppelgreener

@Magisch That's a separate matter though. Those organisations can continue their advocacy and outreach separate to the larger discussion about equality.

apaul

@Magisch I'd trade you any day ;)

Magisch

@doppelgreener a friend of mine has the opposite experience. He works as a male nurse and apparently the fact that he's not a woman has helped him greatly because of the administrators.

apaul

1:10 PM

I think that part is often deliberately ignored....

Magisch

@apaul I'm becoming not so sure. The contingent of unsatisfied people has become large enough to be no laughing matter with their influence

doppelgreener

@Tinkeringbell Not intending to make any claims about who's getting what scholarships, sorry. (I walk back my mentioning grants.)

Magisch

So if this boils over we might see decades of equality work undone

apaul

Sure there may be scholarships, but how does that really tally when compared to... Well... Everything else?

Tinkeringbell

@doppelgreener :) Thanks. Although I kinda got worked up because the other day I was thinking of joining an organisation where you sponsor a particular child financially every month (it's called financial adoption over here, I don't know if you've heard of it?)... and the entire site was so focused on me picking a girl while saying 'everyone should have equal chances' that I kinda got discouraged from putting through with it. :(

apaul

1:12 PM

@Magisch In the short term the pendulum swings both ways, but it seems that in the long term ' arch of history inevitably bends towards justice'

doppelgreener

@Tinkeringbell oof. :(

Magisch

I'm in two minds about it. On one hand discriminating based on gender is clearly and obviously unfair regardless of what gender it happens to. On the other hand when you see the mountain vs the molehill it's hard to be outraged at discrimination against men

Tinkeringbell

@doppelgreener So yeah, hearing that the same might be happening with scholarships kinda made me angry and worried, and I'm sorry for coming on so strong. I think what Magisch said is a good point, it kinda looks like it's no longer about equality, and it may undo the whole notion of equality as we know it.

Magisch

ideally we'd do neither

The problem is the high visibility optics are really bad and that causes a lot of people to just default assume it's all bad

apaul

Magisch

1:15 PM

@apaul Thats an assumption. We had the dark ages after a relatively enlightened ancient age

@apaul the ideal solution would be to make the fence transparent though :p

apaul

@Magisch True, but we've stopped eating each other, for the most part, so progress has still been made... Just slow painful progress.

Magisch

"It'll all work out in the end" is a dangerous assumption. We must all be striving for something if it needs to come to pass

Tinkeringbell

@apaul Nah...:

2

Magisch

I for one am not up for another dark age

apaul

@Tinkeringbell More elaborate way of saying roughly the same. One is a step towards the other...

Tinkeringbell

1:19 PM

@apaul Yeah, just that I wouldn't call equity 'justice' per se.

Magisch

I also read an interesting article once about how the way we do academic testing kind of inherently favors expressions of male intelligence over that of female intelligence

apaul

Without empowering the disenfranchised we're not all that likely to get to a point where we're willing to remove systemic barriers.

Magisch

Something with strict retention vs extrapolation

not too sure about it since I'm neither an expert in academia nor a psychologist but the way the article presented it made sense

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch Huh? Over here you always here the educational system being biased in favor of girls, as they are more mature sooner, so much less likely to pick a follow up study that doesn't match them, and more capable of having the self-discipline to do homework and stuff...

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell This was about university testing

Belle-Sophie

1:22 PM

@apaul I think you may be misunderstanding me. I believe sexism exists and affects things like pay. I also believe there are other factors that also affect the same things. And I think it is not possible to say to what extend each is responsible for it, which creates the difficulty that trying to fix it easily moves into the overcompensation territory. Or at least creates the impression of overcompensation to some people while not being enough for other people.

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch Oh. Never really noticed, but archaeology requires a lot of extrapolation naturally, I guess...

Magisch

the impression of overcompensation is what drives people to right wing populism, btw

Tinkeringbell

→ 36 messages moved to Trash

Belle-Sophie

@Magisch Yep. And the other side is very left. There's something to say for both sides. I guess that is why people are so divided on politics.

apaul

@Belle-Sophie I get that. But keep in mind that impressions aren't realities. It's natural to assume that people will push back against oppression that effects them personally. Calling it an overcompensation while that oppression continues... Well, I'm sure you can see where I'm going with that.

@Magisch What really drives people to the right is the perception that minorities getting ahead, takes something away from the majority.

Magisch

1:28 PM

@apaul It's also natural for some people to abuse any good will for personal gain, so that is something to keep in mind while listening to both sides' arguments

@apaul can't really deny that one though. People no longer getting (as much) of an advantage as they used to get. This also comes with the social pressure on men to be more successful then their partners by and large

of course that is gonna shift but that's going to take a while

IPS Comment Bot

s/opertunity/opportunity/ — TOOGAM 24 secs ago

#17362 TOOGAM (1334 rep) | A: How to talk about my comfortable lifestyle without sounding like I'm bragging? (score: 16) | posted 3 days ago by Imus (2762 rep) | Toxicity 0.07373686

Matched regex(es) ["short-comment"]

Magisch

You can see the sour grapes side of this discrepancy in all the women's magazine articles about how there are no good men left for successful women. :p

apaul

"You gaining voice, takes away my voice" "Nah, your voice only seemed loud because we weren't allowed to be apart of the conversation."

Magisch

To actually adress the systemic issues society at large is going to have to shift a whole lot

And people are naturally resistant to change unless it directly benefits them

Tinkeringbell

@IPSCommentBot fp

IPS Comment Bot

1:30 PM

Marked this comment as caught incorrectly (fp) Currently marked 0tps/1fps

apaul

@Magisch See... When you say that people call you an SJW and claim that you're virtue signaling ;)

Magisch

@apaul It's not just that. I tend to get hate from both sides, although more from the right wing side by a large margin

Seems like you're either 100% with or against anyone

apaul

gods forbid that we'd all move up together rather than acting like crabs in a bucket... (Eeeeeek socialism!)

^jokes. Mostly....

Magisch

Thanks by the way for the so far very respectful and name calling free discussion today to everyone

avazula

@Magisch Did we have any problem recently with politeness?

TheTinyMan

1:34 PM

Good morning, politics! :-)

ElizB

That's why I like this room... I've seen a few discussions like this in here and I'm always impressed at how we really put the effort towards a great, pleasant discussion here.

@avazula lolol

Hey there ;)

Hey there :)

no but this is a touchy subject and anywhere else in the internet it'd have descended into hurling abuse ages ago

So i'm pretty proud of this room for keeping it nice for so long

avazula

1:35 PM

@Magisch Congrats to the owner! :)

(All owners but you're the only one present rn)

doppelgreener

@TheTinyMan Hi! Nice to see you. Are you looking for Interpersonal SE though?

avazula

@doppelgreener I think they referred to the nature of previous conversation :)

doppelgreener

@avazula (i am carrying on the joke :D)

Secespitus

@avazula Click on the link ;)

Belle-Sophie

I've got another subject that's much like it. As an aspie, I'm technically allowed to skip queues on most rides in my favorite theme park. It's compensation for some troubles I have standing in queue. But I don't think it feels fair. I refuse to use the autism card and stand in queue like everyone else. Would it be fair if I use the autism card? Yes, because I have difficulty standing in queue. But also no, because if I do not stand in queue, I get to ride the rides way more often than others.

TheTinyMan

1:37 PM

@doppelgreener Cute, haha. Some days I'm looking for Interpersonal.SE but today it's Interpersonal.SE! :-)

doppelgreener

\o/ variety!

apaul

@Magisch Most people want a better world, opinions vary on what "better" looks like. It's hard to have strong beliefs about those things and not get heated about them... It's also hard to stomach certain points of view that actively hold you and yours down. Thing is, most folks believe that they're on the right side of that.

avazula

@Secespitus jeez, I'm so gullible :p

Mithrandir

@TheTinyMan you seem to have ended up at Interpersonal.SE though

TheTinyMan

@Mithrandir Curses!

apaul

1:40 PM

Mutiny?

Tinkeringbell

MUTINY!!!

TheTinyMan

@Belle-Sophie Going off of the "justice" images from before, a lot of time, it's impossible to achieve it perfectly - but what we can do is try as hard as we can to get as close as we can.

apaul

loads excrement catapult

Tinkeringbell

Where's Em? Let's do an initiation rite mutiny! :P

doppelgreener

MUTINYYYY

Janet, may we have some mutiny cannons?

Belle-Sophie

1:42 PM

We can't start the mutiny before scheduled mutiny time

Tinkeringbell

@apaul I really don't know why you'd make a catapult out of excrement. Doesn't sound very sturdy to me.

avazula

@doppelgreener Here you go!

doppelgreener

Hooray!

They're perfect!

El'endia Starman

@doppelgreener Needed mutinitions, eh?

avazula

Here's what I found so far:

My bad

They're better:

doppelgreener

1:43 PM

Brilliant!

@Belle-Sophie You have a point, but what if we did mutiny on the established order of needing a specific mutiny time?

apaul

@Tinkeringbell Think trebuchet hurling a portable toilet.

against me! - baby i'm an anarchist (lyrics)

►

Tinkeringbell

The Teeny Tiny Cannon | Outrageous Acts of Science

►

doppelgreener

Thanks Janet.

Belle-Sophie

@doppelgreener MUTINY TIME MUTINY

Tinkeringbell

@apaul If it's a clean portable toilet :P

apaul

1:44 PM

@Tinkeringbell Have we met?

avazula

@doppelgreener You're welcome. Returns in their boundless void until next call

Tinkeringbell

@apaul I don't think so ;)

doppelgreener

@Belle-Sophie YEEEAHHH [fires the cannons]

TheTinyMan

Kaspar Kjeldsen

.. You tab away from this room for a couple of minutes, and suddenly there's mutiny?!

Tinkeringbell

1:46 PM

@KasparKjeldsen Pretty cool, huh? :P

avazula

@KasparKjeldsen I told you it's was uncommonly quiet

doppelgreener

@TheTinyMan NOT WHAT I EXPECTED BUT THESE WILL DO

Captain Jack Sparrow

Hmm. Rowdy lot here.

TheTinyMan

@doppelgreener The best mutiny is a happy mutiny!

Captain Jack Sparrow

Is that you, Hector?

doppelgreener

1:47 PM

@TheTinyMan You're right!

Tinkeringbell

apaul

steals diamonds

redistributes

avazula

@apaul communist! :p

Captain Jack Sparrow

@Tinkeringbell You will always remember this day as the day that you almost set Captain Jack Sparrow on fire.

TheTinyMan

Tinkeringbell

1:49 PM

@apaul Diamonds are overpriced anyways :P

apaul

@TheTinyMan Here, have @Tinkeringbell 's diamond.

TheTinyMan

@apaul Oooh, lookit this!

puts it in a tiara

Captain Jack Sparrow

@apaul Careful with those, lad - a curse always pops up when you least expect it. Most inconvenient.

apaul

You're the mod now. Successful mutiny had by all.

TheTinyMan

And I have my mod tiara.

Tinkeringbell

1:50 PM

apaul

@CaptainJackSparrow hence why I didn't want to keep it ;)

Captain Jack Sparrow

@TheTinyMan Looks lovely, although you can't compare to my hat.

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Yeah, that's pretty much me :-p

@CaptainJackSparrow You haven't seen my fancy hat!

Captain Jack Sparrow

*raises eyebrow*

Tinkeringbell

@CaptainJackSparrow Mine really is cursed: chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/45989325#45989325 :P

If I ever actually get it ;)

Captain Jack Sparrow

1:52 PM

@Tinkeringbell Did it happen to be Aztec, by any chance?

ElizB

@El'endiaStarman Punny! :P

Tinkeringbell

@CaptainJackSparrow Maybe :D

Belle-Sophie

40 minutes left deep sigh

My parents are taking me to see 10cc on Saturday. Blast from the past!

Tinkeringbell

Oh... that reminds me. I have to start dinner preparations. Guys? Who wants food? Can food stop a mutiny? :P

Belle-Sophie

Spaghetti with meatballs please

TheTinyMan

1:54 PM

looks at picture of him in his hat How important is anonymity, really? Cropping anything out of this particular picture feels like a travesty. xD

@Tinkeringbell The mutiny is complete, I have the diamond now!

apaul

@Tinkeringbell Bread and circuses?

Journeyman Geek

.... almost?

sets @CaptainJackSparrow on fire.

Captain Jack Sparrow

@TheTinyMan This calls for a drink! *looks around* ...why is the rum always gone?

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Oh. cool. Enjoy the flag handling, I'll be on vacation for another week and a half, so ... :P

2

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Heck! Abort mission! Abort mission!

4

apaul

1:56 PM

@TheTinyMan Diamond comes with cursed broom and dustpan. Get to work.

Journeyman Geek

@apaul now now

We get a cursed mop. That sings.... The rickroll....

apaul

looks for things to flag, or be flagged, over

Belle-Sophie

As I former world of warcraft guildmaster, I sympathize with any type of moderator

Journeyman Geek

@Belle-Sophie some mod jobs are easier than others ;)

doppelgreener

To be fair the mop is made of diamond

Journeyman Geek

1:59 PM

My first moderatorship was easy, though, maaaan there were stories

doppelgreener

But then, there is a reason it is made of diamond, it would wear out otherwise

Journeyman Geek

Also the most amazing and sad sock ever

Mithrandir

Well now. Looks like Jack crashed my computer.

Belle-Sophie

There's a good question on the SO meta about diamonds https://meta.stackoverflow.com/questions/2827654/moderator-diamonds

doppelgreener

@Mithrandir He's mutinied the computer!

apaul

2:00 PM

That didn't take long... interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/17470/59

doppelgreener

@apaul oh boy, that person is due for a hell of a crash down to reality

Journeyman Geek

@apaul not being an IPS regular... It feels like I'm missing some context ;p

IPS Comment Bot

⚠️☢️🚨 Offensive/Abusive Comment 🚨☢️⚠️

#17467 Simon Richter (271 rep) | A: Etiquette when riding a taxi in Germany? (score: 16) | posted 4 hours ago by Daniel (7393 rep) | Toxicity 0.67647684 | edited 14 minutes ago by Daniel (7393 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["offensive"]

doppelgreener

@IPSCommentBot wrongo

IPS Comment Bot

Registered as WRONGO

doppelgreener

2:02 PM

the comment said "shitty", though it was an answer in comments

don't know if i'm supposed to make that tp or fp

apaul

@JourneymanGeek I went looking for something to flag. Didn't take long to find something.

Journeyman Geek

ahh ok

apaul

Then again, it rarely does.

Journeyman Geek

OOI @TheTinyMan CLEANUP AT ISLE 13!

avazula

@doppelgreener Joke aside, it's tp

Mithrandir

2:04 PM

Jul 31 at 14:07, by Mithrandir

tp = this is flaggable, the way feedbacks are set up now

TheTinyMan

@JourneymanGeek HECK throws the tiara at @apaul

Mithrandir

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/1fps

apaul

@JourneymanGeek exactly.

avazula

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

2:05 PM

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 2tps/1fps

apaul

@TheTinyMan avoids responsibility in usual fashion

Mithrandir

@TheTinyMan catches it, deletes all the comments on the site

apaul

@Mithrandir And there was much rejoicing

Journeyman Geek

ahh comments. can't live with em, can't live without em.

apaul

@EmC He's talkin about you...

Journeyman Geek

2:08 PM

@apaul I wouldn't comment on @EmC, tis rude.

apaul

Are we not picking on mods anymore? I didn't get the memo.

Journeyman Geek

@apaul well, technically... erm...

I'm a mod? ;p

TheTinyMan

@JourneymanGeek Ataaaaaaack!

apaul

@JourneymanGeek *double agent

doppelgreener

@Mithrandir thanks, so, "this is flaggable" not just "this is flaggable for that particular reason"?

avazula

2:10 PM

@doppelgreener exactly

doppelgreener

thanks!

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 3tps/1fps

doppelgreener

It was I who was wrongo

avazula

IPSBot doesn't overwrite stats unfortunately

Mithrandir

...I probably have the access to delete it but I don't know how

avazula

2:12 PM

We could help with @Magisch if we had the database columns names :)

Mithrandir

Yeah I don't know how to find those

avazula

Erh :(

Belle-Sophie

I did a bad this morning. I left a joke comment on an answer on WP. It's on 48 upvotes at the moment, more than the question.

Journeyman Geek

rofl

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Is everything gone?

Or do I need to get back to my computer?

Mithrandir

2:17 PM

Well, seeing as I didn't actually catch a diamond... all the comments are still there :(

I wouldn't actually want a full-time IPS diamond... which is why I didn't nominate. It would be nice at times, though - especially the purge button ;)

Belle-Sophie

@Tinkeringbell AJ is here :)

Hi AJ

Tinkeringbell

@Belle-Sophie Oh cool ;) But I'm on the PC now, so I'll take a look ;)

Hmmm. I'll keep an eye on it from afar, but so far most comments really look like they need to be edited into the question at one time or the other...

avazula

@Mithrandir Is moderating Literature time-consuming?

Mithrandir

@avazula Not at all. Chat much more so.

avazula

Ha

Mithrandir

2:26 PM

IPS actually takes more of my time than Literature already.

Keeping a list of graduated sandbox questions doesn't sound really tenable long-term.

Belle-Sophie

Home time

I hope my soap is doing well :)

Tinkeringbell

@Belle-Sophie I just got a very special present ;) Some very old fashioned Dutch soap (just a very old brand, I'm sure it's freshly made :P) ... apparently it should do good for my eczema.

El'endia Starman

@Mithrandir On PPCG (codegolf.stackexchange.com), the Sandbox doesn't have a list of graduated questions (it would have thousands of lines, probably). Rather, answers are usually edited to contain only the title with a link to the posted question, and then deleted.

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell or it was hewed mightily from the dark reaches of the low country....

They do mine soap right? ;p

Tinkeringbell

@JourneymanGeek For all intents and purposes, sure :P

That reminds me though, I got 6 bath bombs to use for this vacation, and I only used 2 so far. I guess I'll be taking a bath tonight :)

Imus

2:34 PM

@Tinkeringbell with bath bomb I can only think of a certain mythbusters episode where they throw some really really reactive metals into a bath tub ... no the kind of thing you want to do at home

Tinkeringbell

@Imus I have some of those really big and glittery ones from Lush. I love those. They smell a LOT, and the bath water gets a lot of color too ;)

El'endia Starman

@Imus ...which is why you do it at a hotel!

Tinkeringbell

Only thing I sometimes miss is bubbles.

Imus

Alkali Metal Explosion - Mythbusters for the Impatient

►

Tinkeringbell

@El'endiaStarman Ehh... wouldn't that give some troubles with deposit fees and such?

@Imus THOSE AREN'T MYTHBUSTERS :(

Imus

2:38 PM

?

Tinkeringbell

@Imus There's only two real mythbusters ;)

Imus

heh

Tinkeringbell

And now I've watched it, and I'm disappointed. no exploding bath tub :P

Imus

:(

sorry

Brainiac Alkali Metals

►

brainiac did it better

there is one element even more reactive. But for some reason they wouldn't let us have any of that.

skip to 2:20 or so for interesting bits

@Tinkeringbell watchusplaygames.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/…

ElizB

Eeeek! I'm super excited I scored two tickets from the theater for $25 each, (plus $10 in fees) for the upcoming touring performance of Anastasia!

That's a steal. :D

A J

2:54 PM

@Belle-Sophie Hello.

ElizB

Plus that performance on that day is interpreted! :D

avazula

That's so nice!

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: What do depressed / constantly negative people want to hear when they are venting / seeking comfort?

I'm a part of a friend group where somehow anytime we do anything, there's one friend that somehow twists it to a way to belitter herself. As an example, let's say we are sharing our artworks in a chatroom, she'll respond something like "Wow that's so good, I should just give up drawing now sinc...

ElizB

I'm over the moon excited for that. It'll be my next play that I attend. I save those for treats but if it goes at this price i might go more often!

avazula

@ExtrovertedMainMan Ooh, that's a tough one.

A J

2:57 PM

@Tinkeringbell what's up?

Em C

@apaul @JourneymanGeek oh man, am I in trouble already? :P

ElizB

Gonna work on the paper some. Seeya around lunchtime :)

Imus

@avazula I got no idea how to handle that. At some point I too would just give up ...

apaul

@EmC "can't live with em, can't live without em"

Imus

I could live without them ... only worried about the other way around :s

and I just realised apaul responded to something completely unrelated to that question ...

guess it's time for me to go home now

Tinkeringbell

3:09 PM

@AJ There's a flag, asking us to watch a post ;)

Em C

@apaul hmm... not sure how to feel about that ;)

A J

3:22 PM

@Tinkeringbell oh

Extroverted Main Man

5:12 PM

2

Q: How rude is "ladies first rule" in USA?

I am a male brazilian (born and living) software developer. I'm part of a remote team with people living in Brazil and in USA (born in other countries as well). We've been working together for 1 month. Currently I am in USA on a business trip to get to know my colleagues working from here. One ...

united-states coworkers parties

0

Q: Waking up at 5 in the morning not feeling exahusted

I have been waking up in the morning at 5am. This is a very good thing because it allows me to get to work early and have a productive day in general. My problem, however, is feeling exhausted. I wake up really tired that I just wanna go back to sleep again. Can somebody advice me on how to wake ...

work-environment

Mithrandir

eyeballs-requested | Off-Topic | Waking up at 5 in the morning not feeling exahusted

@ExtrovertedMainMan This is a bit broad / opinion based, although that's a bit of a shame.

apaul

5:27 PM

Making friends and influencing others as usual: meta.stackexchange.com/questions/313086/…

Tinkeringbell

@apaul Some users are not worth fighting ;). Also, didn't you post a comment with a link to that before? Reposting it after it was removed might not be the smartest move either...

apaul

@Tinkeringbell I edited the answer. Just got a mod message about how that wasn't appropriate, and that a comment would have been better.

So...

Tinkeringbell

@apaul Oh okay.

Then let's use those new 'unkind' flags ;)

apaul

Mhmm

Richard U

Unkindness does seem to be a problem

apaul

5:34 PM

Mhmm

Richard U

There's enough unkindness in the world, It's best to be kind instead

2

Tinkeringbell

@apaul I've learned one nasty trick while online... If you don't react (or react silently, like flagging) you also in a way deprive others from reacting back and using those reactions for more nastiness....

Richard U

@Tinkeringbell that is a far wiser strategty

ElizB

@Tinkeringbell I've used that strategy with my dad... it works. :) he had nothing to pin on me.

apaul

@Tinkeringbell Seems like we had a really long discussion about that, not that long ago.

Richard U

5:38 PM

I remember on one website, there was a woman with bipolar that some people insisted on antagonizing. I cannot understand why people like to deliberately inflict suffering.

@ElizB my ex-wife just deescalated what could have been a serious road rage incident by being kind to the woman that was screaming at her.

It is amazing what a kind word can do.

ElizB

Yes, I agree! :)

Richard U

I remember when I was homeless, I learned a few lessons I hope to take with me, and if possible teach others.

apaul

@RichardU Sounds a little odd coming from someone who so regularly expounds their former trolling...

Richard U

@apaul the key word is "former"

We all change and evolve and move past our former selves.

apaul

Sure.

ElizB

5:41 PM

Alright, gonna hop off and work on my paper some more! :P Got great feedback from a co-worker who has been writing these kinds of documents for 25 years and she tore my draft apart (She gave me a ton of feedback) hahaha

Richard U

even in my misspent path, the trolling was towards neo-nazis,

@ElizB I'm still working on contacts, BTW, I havent' forgotten

ElizB

@RichardU Thank you for the update! Don't stress out too much, whenever you are ready you can give me and El'endia the information. Thank you for your help!

Richard U

I remember, when we drove off the neo-nazis, I even worked well with a fellow who didn't like me much. We disagreed on most things, but we were both good people.

@ElizB YW, If I can help in any way, it will be worth any effort I expend

ElizB

@RichardU Any help is appreciated at this point. :)

Richard U

I will do all that I can, I promise.

ElizB

5:45 PM

@RichardU That is all we can do. Okay, talk to you later! Ping me anytime to ask me any questions related to the situation.

Richard U

@ElizB Will do!

IPS Comment Bot

@SanFranciscan I agree with everyone that says "do what you need to do". However, if you really want to try using a knife, here is a trick that may or may not work for you. Push the salad with knife and fork into a pile. Turn the knife on edge and push the fork into the salad with the knife as a backstop. The knife will slide between the tines of the fork, impaling the salad. It doesn't take as much fine motor control or strength. Plus, the salad is really stuck to the fork and won't simply slide off as it often does when you just scoop it up. — Trenin 1 min ago

#17307 Trenin (101 rep) | A: Is it acceptable to violate table manners in public due to my disability? (score: 2) | posted 5 days ago by DarkCygnus (129 rep) | Toxicity 0.18658334

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

Mithrandir

@IPSCommentBot tp

Whaddya mean "that was not a report"?

cc @thesecretmaster ^ giving that in the terminal for replies to both the onebox and the "matched regexes"

Richard U

Hello @Mithrandir I hope you are well today

Mithrandir

@RichardU Well, I'm feeling cranky and irritable because of this cold that is refusing to go away, so...

But thanks for asking.

Richard U

5:53 PM

@Mithrandir Have you ever tried ginger tea? I find it is a great relief as it dries out congestion and it settles the stomach.

Mithrandir

Yes, I did. Didn't really have much effect.

Richard U

@Mithrandir ah, sorry. That's always my standby. Well, chicken soup is proven to have an effect as well.

thesecretmaster

6:08 PM

@Mithrandir Should prolly resolve itself, but if it hasn't I can look in a couple hours

heather

6:37 PM

@Mithrandir i find tea with honey is particularly soothing for sore throats.

Mithrandir

@heather Yeah, I have to dig up some honey.

ElizB

Hot water mixed in with a teaspoon or two of Apple Cider Vinegar plus gobs of honey does good stuff too.

I use that when i feel unwell in general, plus rest, fluids, tea, etc.

heather

just warm comfort-type food in general tends to be helpful, i think.

Mithrandir

@EmC - Consider the comment flag queue an inauguration present from me... :P

eyeballs-requested | literally a "try this" answer | How to talk about my comfortable lifestyle without sounding like I'm bragging?

Extroverted Main Man

6:57 PM

3

Q: How to address fallout from my meltdowns and to avoid ruining social relationships

The problem While I am a very high functioning autistic and can act "normal" most of the time. Most people don't know I have autism, esp at work or other controlled situations so it's not a problem there. However, I still have meltdowns from time to time in social situations, where my condition...

relationships socializing autism

Mithrandir

eyeballs-requested | How to politely repel negative suggestive comments about the work morale or atmosphere?

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