Did you intend to post this on The Workplace? This doesn't seem to be related to interpersonal skills. — Catija ♦ 1 min ago
12:57 AM
#13519 Catija (11756 rep) | Q: Is it professional to seek new employment after just receiving a job? (score: 0) | posted 8 minutes ago by Henri (1 rep)
1:08 AM
#13519 Henri (1 rep) | Q: Is it professional to seek new employment after just receiving a job? (score: 0) | posted 19 minutes ago by Henri (1 rep)
@NomadMaker "I am uncomfortable with this for a number of reasons, not the least of which is fraud. " — Steve Bennett 1 min ago
#13381 Steve Bennett (424 rep) | A: How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage? (score: 131) | posted 3 days ago by baldPrussian (12857 rep)
1:30 AM
#13522 Braiam (101 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 15 minutes ago by user (1 rep)
I'm not sure I get you. The other party told a friend of yours that she wasn't interested in you, and that is a lie? — enlighten_me 2 mins ago
#13522 enlighten_me (92 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 15 minutes ago by user (1 rep)
@enlighten_me I'm in the process of merging accounts, so it appears that I'm not the OP, when in fact I am. — Braiam 30 secs ago
#13522 Braiam (101 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 16 minutes ago by user (1 rep)
Is it easy in your context to seek a private conversation with the said party? — enlighten_me 1 min ago
#13522 enlighten_me (92 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 21 minutes ago by user (1 rep)
@enlighten_me right now is an improper time to set a meeting, since it's too late. We are meeting tomorrow in classes late in the night, so after class is a no go. I'm unsure about her schedule before classes. I have the contact of the person and have acknowledged at least one message in the class chat group, so not actively ignoring me. — Braiam 1 min ago
#13522 Braiam (101 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 24 minutes ago by user (1 rep)
1:50 AM
I think I'm getting at "it would be a logistic challenge", at least for two days. — Braiam 10 secs ago
#13522 Braiam (101 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 35 minutes ago by user (1 rep)
5 hours later…
:
possible-aic:
- q: you\Wshould\Wtry
- q: the\Wissue\Where
- q: worth\Wconsidering
chatty:
- a: thank
- a: [+-]1
- a: (vote|accept)
- a: thn?x
no-question-mark:
Other Regexes:
possible-aic:
- q: you\Wshould\Wtry
- q: the\Wissue\Where
- q: worth\Wconsidering
chatty:
- a: thank
- a: [+-]1
- a: (vote|accept)
- a: thn?x
no-question-mark:
Other Regexes:
I honestly read over the "your" in the first quote block, so I wouldn't be surprised if her mother ignores that word as well. "Oh you want to limit visitors and you want me to be there, sure! I'll help limit the visitors while staying by your side". With that thought process in her mind, the second quote block reads exactly the same. Sure, "we'll limit the other visotors to that time you mentioned." — Imus 1 min ago
#13440 Imus (373 rep) | A: Establishing expectations with my parents about visiting after I give birth (score: 3) | posted 2 days ago by Astralbee (10758 rep)
What do you want to change after the discussion ? That the SO stop acting like that ? Reading as I read, that sounds like quite a dream. The only thing I can see is clearly remember firmly that they're at your place and if they can't show proper respect, they can look somewhere else. — Walfrat 22 secs ago
#13513 Walfrat (276 rep) | Q: How do I tell my roommate that I feel treated unfairly by their SO? (score: 1) | posted 12 hours ago by Kristoff (6 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by Catija (11756 rep)
What do you want to change after the discussion ? That the SO stop acting like that ? Reading as I read, that sounds like quite a dream. The only thing I can see is clearly remember firmly that they're at your place and if they can't show proper respect, they can look somewhere else. — Walfrat 7 mins ago
#13513 Walfrat (276 rep) | Q: How do I tell my roommate that I feel treated unfairly by their SO? (score: 1) | posted 12 hours ago by Kristoff (6 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by Catija (11756 rep)
I honestly read over the "your" in the first quote block, so I wouldn't be surprised if her mother ignores that word as well. "Oh you want to limit visitors and you want me to be there, sure! I'll help limit the visitors while staying by your side". With that thought process in her mind, the second quote block reads exactly the same. Sure, "we'll limit the other visotors to that time you mentioned." — Imus 12 mins ago
#13440 Imus (373 rep) | A: Establishing expectations with my parents about visiting after I give birth (score: 3) | posted 2 days ago by Astralbee (10758 rep)
This answer is worth as it is to the OP to choose whatever he wants to do. If he wants to burn bridge, so be it. However, in the professional world, it is always recommanded to not burn bridge, that's why others put some fluff in it. If I were in OP's position, I would send something nearer to your message than the top one, but that isn't necessary the best move. — Walfrat 18 mins ago
#13312 Walfrat (276 rep) | A: How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything? (score: 31) | posted 4 days ago by Michael (419 rep)
"don't tell me what to do". You can also use this response when people tell you to have a good day. I'll have as good or bad a day as I want, thanks. — Edmund Reed 29 mins ago
#13441 Edmund Reed (101 rep) | Q: How to reply to "Drive/Travel Safe"? (score: 18) | posted 2 days ago by thesquaregroot (199 rep) | edited 2 days ago by thesquaregroot (199 rep)
#13522 Spagirl (9929 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by user (1 rep)
#13523 gnasher729 (1541 rep) | Q: Is there a subtle way to confront someone? (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by Henri (1 rep)
So, a girl you know spread a rumour that you asked her out (which you didn't)? Now, you don't want to confront the girl about the rumor, because you didn't hear it from her, and the confrontation could upset her? Also, someone, or some people, were teased, and you think this is related to the rumour? — Peter Abolins 51 mins ago
#13522 Peter Abolins (560 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by user (1 rep)
#8392 I am the Most Stupid Person (271 rep) | A: How to refuse to shake hands without offending the other party? (score: 12) | posted 120 days ago by michi (2774 rep) | edited 119 days ago by michi (2774 rep)
#13282 ADTC (101 rep) | Q: How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything? (score: 73) | posted 5 days ago by avazula (4286 rep) | edited 4 days ago by avazula (4286 rep)
I think this is the best answer. You don't say you're unwilling, but you say you're unable. You made it less personal. You say you fulfilled contract, you're happy that it's making a difference and that you're not obligated to do anything additional. But you never said you're unwilling and you never kissed the rear. Well done! — ADTC 1 hour ago
#13318 ADTC (101 rep) | A: How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything? (score: 9) | posted 4 days ago by Astralbee (10758 rep)
Depending on where he lives, internships could be free work. Pushed with the label "unpaid" and the reasoning "we're giving you an opportunity to build your industry experience and skill set, so we're not obligated to pay you any money" while getting a full-time salaried employee's worth at no cost. — ADTC 1 hour ago
#13314 ADTC (101 rep) | A: How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything? (score: 11) | posted 4 days ago by Peter Taylor (373 rep)
#13316 ADTC (101 rep) | A: How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything? (score: 21) | posted 4 days ago by GretchenV (742 rep)
@Michael great! you cut to the chase, and get to the point, without any fluff. Just one thing, I'd change "... September so I'm not available to complete any more outstanding tasks." to "... September. I'm not available for any additional commitments at this time.". — ADTC 1 hour ago
#13312 ADTC (101 rep) | A: How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything? (score: 31) | posted 4 days ago by Michael (419 rep)
I'm actually emphasizing my statement as a kind of heads up that it might sound harsh to some people. — Nico 2 hours ago
#5175 Nico (362 rep) | A: How can I get a friend to stop calling me all of the time? (score: 9) | posted 195 days ago by Nico (362 rep)
I don't know how to talk to them about this. I'm anxious when I think about it. I expect the SO to get overly dramatic and throw a fit. Whenever SO throws a fit, my friend follows her to comfort her. I think she's being manipulative. — Kristoff 2 hours ago
#13513 Kristoff (6 rep) | Q: How do I tell my roommate that I feel treated unfairly by their SO? (score: 1) | posted 12 hours ago by Kristoff (6 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by Catija (11756 rep)
@puck I saw the bag zipped up when the lights came on and the studio was emptying out. When I texted the host about the bag, I included a list of all the bottles in the bag. His response was simply "I got it" — Henri 3 hours ago
#13523 Henri (1 rep) | Q: Is there a subtle way to confront someone? (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by Henri (1 rep)
As it stands right now this question is essentially asking us to tell you what you should do, which is off-topic here. If you are looking for a way to achieve your goal then please clearly state what your goal is. — Jesse 3 hours ago
#13522 Jesse (3843 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by user (1 rep)
As you did not think of your bag when you left, can you be sure all bottles were there at this time? Ask the host if he knows something about the bottles, but you shouldn't confront him in a way that accuses him in person. You say "he never stated there were bottles missing". Should he know what you brought to the event? — puck 3 hours ago
#13523 puck (339 rep) | Q: Is there a subtle way to confront someone? (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by Henri (1 rep)
#13283 Mathieu K. (103 rep) | A: How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything? (score: 135) | posted 5 days ago by Link0352 (3105 rep) | edited 29 hours ago by Link0352 (3105 rep)
With the changes proposed by the other commenters, the body reads
I appreciate you reaching out. I greatly value the time I spent with Company X and the experience I gained there. Unfortunately, I have moved on to other opportunities and am not presently accepting external commissions. I wish you and everyone at Company X the best. — Mathieu K. 5 hours ago
#13283 Mathieu K. (103 rep) | A: How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything? (score: 135) | posted 5 days ago by Link0352 (3105 rep) | edited 29 hours ago by Link0352 (3105 rep)
Hello! Welcome to IPS. As it is stated your question asking if you should confront the host. That is a very broad question and will invite very opinion based answers. If you do decide to confront him and can reword your question to be about how to do that then we could be of more help. — Rainbacon 5 hours ago
#13523 Rainbacon (1311 rep) | Q: Is there a subtle way to confront someone? (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by Henri (1 rep)
I think I'm getting at "it would be a logistic challenge", at least for two days. — Braiam 6 hours ago
#13522 Braiam (101 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by user (1 rep)
@enlighten_me right now is an improper time to set a meeting, since it's too late. We are meeting tomorrow in classes late in the night, so after class is a no go. I'm unsure about her schedule before classes. I have the contact of the person and have acknowledged at least one message in the class chat group, so not actively ignoring me. — Braiam 6 hours ago
#13522 Braiam (101 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by user (1 rep)
Is it easy in your context to seek a private conversation with the said party? — enlighten_me 6 hours ago
#13522 enlighten_me (92 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by user (1 rep)
@enlighten_me I'm in the process of merging accounts, so it appears that I'm not the OP, when in fact I am. — Braiam 6 hours ago
#13522 Braiam (101 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by user (1 rep)
@enlighten_me the lie is that "I asked her out and she rejected me". I haven't asked her out as of now. — Braiam 6 hours ago
#13522 Braiam (101 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by user (1 rep)
I'm not sure I get you. The other party told a friend of yours that she wasn't interested in you, and that is a lie? — enlighten_me 6 hours ago
#13522 enlighten_me (92 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by user (1 rep)
@NomadMaker "I am uncomfortable with this for a number of reasons, not the least of which is fraud. " — Steve Bennett 6 hours ago
#13381 Steve Bennett (424 rep) | A: How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage? (score: 133) | posted 3 days ago by baldPrussian (12887 rep)
#13513 Juan Carlos Oropeza (201 rep) | Q: How do I tell my roommate that I feel treated unfairly by their SO? (score: 1) | posted 13 hours ago by Kristoff (6 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by Catija (11756 rep)
#1783 Rosie F (101 rep) | A: How can I ask politely about someone's preferred gender pronouns? (score: 1) | posted 251 days ago by Mark (91 rep)
As a man, I would certainly not expect any woman (except a romantic partner) to feel comfortable sharing a room with me, and especially not a complete stranger. So I can't see a problem with just asking straight out. — Paul Johnson 1 min ago
#13402 Paul Johnson (271 rep) | Q: How can I politely find out the gender of a potential roommate via email? (score: 30) | posted 3 days ago by (deleted user) | edited 7 hours ago by unor (107 rep)
@user6355 Phone calls are nonetheless an issue for the OP -- they said so in response to a comment on their OQ. And how to deal with people in phone conversations might well be an issue for other people who read this thread for advice. — Rosie F 2 mins ago
#12933 Rosie F (101 rep) | A: How can I ask politely about someone's preferred gender pronouns? (score: 1) | posted 15 days ago by (deleted user)
Hey, thanks for the answer. Could you please elaborate on why you thing that
formal language comes in to help here.? As this currently stands, it's feeling a little like a "try this" answer. — Arwen Undómiel 38 secs ago
#13403 Arwen Undómiel (2091 rep) | A: How can I politely find out the gender of a potential roommate via email? (score: 20) | posted 3 days ago by elliot svensson (574 rep) | edited 3 days ago by A J (5705 rep)
8:13 AM
@Imus So you downvoted because you skip words when you read, and that means the OP's mother won't hear it if she says it? — Astralbee 22 secs ago
#13440 Astralbee (10758 rep) | A: Establishing expectations with my parents about visiting after I give birth (score: 3) | posted 2 days ago by Astralbee (10758 rep)
I would personally refrain from thanking the person altogether. Be polite and friendly but firm and assertive is great advice. But also try to be as sincere as possible. I would also no say that you can't help him/her because that is also not entirely true. — mgr326639 45 secs ago
#13224 mgr326639 (101 rep) | A: How can I tactfully refuse to switch seats on flights? (score: 177) | posted 6 days ago by baldPrussian (12907 rep) | edited 4 days ago by baldPrussian (12907 rep)
8:41 AM
It may be a stupid counter-question from me, but why do you want to do it tactfully if he was unpleasant? IMHO, the best way is just to say straightly/formally "Sorry, I'm not obliged to do this and therefore I won't". IMHO, being straight/formal is not the same as being impolite/rude, it's just means being neutral (I would like to be nicer than neutral for those I love/appreciate, but just being neutral is enough for others; I don't want to be an asshole even for those who're assholes for me, but I don't see a reason to be nicer-than-neutral for them either; neutral≠negative). — Sasha 1 min ago
#13282 Sasha (101 rep) | Q: How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything? (score: 73) | posted 5 days ago by avazula (4286 rep) | edited 4 days ago by avazula (4286 rep)
9:04 AM
I don't understand from the context if this happens in some sort of video chat where everyone can see your facial expressions and body language, or if it's in a text-only situation, could you expand on that? Furthermore, is this a situation when you all talk together, or is it in one-on-one meetings? — pipe 15 secs ago
#13517 pipe (105 rep) | Q: How to hide panic attacks? (score: 6) | posted 10 hours ago by Dragon (41 rep)
Excellent question, and unless I've missed something you have kept the genders of all involved a mystery. This really challenged me, in a good way, when composing my answer. — Astralbee 8 mins ago
Thanks @Tinkeringbell, I read it and a lot of other pages on the site including ... interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/2403/…, and ... chat.stackexchange.com/rooms/61165/conversation/… ... and have come to the conclusion that the format is too rigid for me to ever be able to conform. — Jak 32 mins ago
#13513 Astralbee (10846 rep) | Q: How do I tell my roommate that I feel treated unfairly by their SO? (score: 3) | posted 16 hours ago by Kristoff (16 rep) | edited 15 hours ago by Catija (11756 rep)
#2825 Jak (149 rep) | A: is this a site that wants to exclude people? (score: 3) | posted 5 days ago by Astralbee (10808 rep)
10:30 AM
#13527 OldPadawan (9436 rep) | A: Friend wants rare vinyl record collection back after 7 years (score: 0) | posted 30 minutes ago by Cloud (101 rep)
#13380 Jan Doggen (207 rep) | A: How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage? (score: 31) | posted 3 days ago by Secespitus (1213 rep)
@gnasher I actually want to know if the host did or didn't take my bottles without being abrasive or allowing my preconceptions to interfere. — Henri 25 mins ago
#13523 Henri (1 rep) | Q: Is there a subtle way to confront someone? (score: -1) | posted 8 hours ago by Henri (1 rep)
Have these been diagnosed as panic attacks by a medical practitioner? How do you feel physically during an attack? — Spagirl 34 mins ago
#13517 Spagirl (9927 rep) | Q: How to hide panic attacks? (score: 8) | posted 11 hours ago by Dragon (51 rep)
Thanks @VolkerSiegel, all good advice and I will try to keep it in mind if I ever decide to ask or answer another question. — Jak 37 secs ago
#2813 Jak (149 rep) | A: is this a site that wants to exclude people? (score: 20) | posted 5 days ago by sphennings (5211 rep) | edited 5 days ago by Cashbee (2818 rep)
Thanks @sleske see above - I tried to say thanks to you as well but the system would not allow me to mention more than one person. — Jak 54 secs ago
#2813 Jak (149 rep) | A: is this a site that wants to exclude people? (score: 20) | posted 5 days ago by sphennings (5211 rep) | edited 5 days ago by Cashbee (2818 rep)
@Catija, I'm not sure that I agree with you that people won't ask questions that they know the answer to. Sometimes people ask questions to have their own beliefs or assumptions validated. Sometimes they think they know the answer but want to be reassured. But anyway, I still think it strange that it is not up to the OP to decide which answers were the most useful (to him or her in his or her particular circumstances). — Jak 38 secs ago
#2812 Jak (149 rep) | A: is this a site that wants to exclude people? (score: 8) | posted 5 days ago by baldPrussian (12957 rep)
10:58 AM
@Jesse I think I'm not asking what should I do, I'm asking that if I decide to confront how should I do it. — Braiam 57 secs ago
#13522 Braiam (101 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: -1) | posted 9 hours ago by user (1 rep)
@PeterAbolins Yes. No, I probably would confront her. The teasing was from others to her. — Braiam 54 secs ago
#13522 Braiam (101 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: -1) | posted 9 hours ago by user (1 rep)
#13522 Braiam (101 rep) | Q: How to approach being rejected without even having asked out and knowing about it from a third party? (score: -1) | posted 9 hours ago by user (1 rep)
11:15 AM
@Astralbee I'm saying that in my opinion, this answer doesn't really answers the question as I understood it. That is the reason why I downvoted. If that depends entirely on a single word in the whole post that I didn't even register when I read the answer, then chances are high that the mother will also not understand it correctly either. Hence my downvote and comment on my reasoning. Other people can still upvote proving me wrong. You can ignore my comment if you don't agree with it. I'm just giving a different point of view, feel free to do with it as you see fit. — Imus 1 min ago
#13440 Imus (373 rep) | A: Establishing expectations with my parents about visiting after I give birth (score: 3) | posted 2 days ago by Astralbee (10876 rep)
I think you are mistaking having a scope and rules as exclusionary. This site was never intended to be a an open forum. Each exchange has a specific scope and a specific goal, to become a repository of excellent questions and quality answers. Generally exclusionary is taken to mean that the rule aren't being applied fairly to everyone, or that their are rules designed to apply unfairly to a specific group of people, not that there are rules about what is and isn't allowed that are applied consistently. — sphennings 33 secs ago
#2837 sphennings (5211 rep) | A: is this a site that wants to exclude people? (score: -2) | posted 50 minutes ago by Jak (149 rep)
11:32 AM
I think it might be a bit of a lost cause, I could not even get her to sit and pay the bills with me. — MCP_infiltrator 1 min ago
#12079 MCP_infiltrator (168 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 13) | posted 34 days ago by MCP_infiltrator (168 rep) | edited 33 days ago by MCP_infiltrator (168 rep) | Has magic comment
If you amend your question and it gets re-opened, can you add a geographic tag and perhaps explain the local habit for BYOB social? Where I live, and when I used to go to such things, it was BYOB, but you didn't take YOB away with you again at the end, if you took it you left it and if you'd taken far more than you drank that was Host's perks. — Spagirl 20 secs ago
#13523 Spagirl (9925 rep) | Q: Is there a subtle way to confront someone? (score: -2) | posted 9 hours ago by Henri (1 rep)
#13517 Martijn (2606 rep) | Q: How to hide panic attacks? (score: 9) | posted 13 hours ago by Dragon (56 rep) | edited 34 minutes ago by henning (3765 rep)
#13518 Martijn (2606 rep) | A: How to hide panic attacks? (score: 12) | posted 12 hours ago by Sophie (175 rep)
12:04 PM
Welcome to Interpersonal.SE! I have a feeling this question will be closed, because it's impossible to read your friend's mind and tell whether he's in love with you or not, but I will point out that sexual attraction and romantic attraction are two completely different things. I'd definitely say your friend is exhibiting the former. — F1Krazy 1 min ago
#13531 F1Krazy (103 rep) | Q: Is my friend in love with me? (score: -2) | posted 7 minutes ago by Marisa (1 rep)
Thanks for your comment @sphennings. I only know the word "exclusionary" in the context of an exclusionary-rule which is a legal term to do with the presentation of evidence and police conduct, but I think I get the gist of what you are saying. To clarify, I understand you are interpreting my response as saying that I believe the site is not applying the same rules to all people who ask and answer questions. That wasn't my intention, I think the rules are being applied equally and zealously, and because of this, people are excluded from participating as they would like to. — Jak 1 min ago
#2837 Jak (149 rep) | A: is this a site that wants to exclude people? (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by Jak (149 rep)
If in the past they've hurt you, They aren't your friends. If in the past they've exclude you because you accused them of things they admitted, they aren't your friends. Just walk away from them, and find real people who matter. (Real people can exist online, I mean real, as in friendly genuine, not fake friends such as these.) — djsmiley2k 1 min ago
#13517 djsmiley2k (1236 rep) | Q: How to hide panic attacks? (score: 9) | posted 13 hours ago by Dragon (56 rep) | edited 58 minutes ago by henning (3765 rep)
As @F1Krazy said, we cannot read your friend's mind. We also don't know your goals when you gain this information: if he is in love, are you willing to abandon who you are currently with to pursue him or elegantly tell him that you are with someone else know or ... and if he isn't, then how to tell him that his behavior towards you is inappropriate because you are in a (beginning) relationship or that's okay to have cuddles and spooning even though you two are not an item but that it should not progress any further? — GretchenV 5 secs ago
#13531 GretchenV (742 rep) | Q: Is my friend in love with me? (score: -2) | posted 17 minutes ago by Marisa (1 rep)
Just to help, as it can be hard sometimes figuring out what a "good" question might be. Have a think about your situation and what outcome you want. A more answerable question might be something like (as examples): "How can I avoid my feelings for a friend, interfering with the friendship?", "How can I discuss my desire for a relationship, without jeopardising a friendship?", "How can I discuss my uncertainty about a friend's feelings towards me, when they won't answer directly? (possibly actually not a good question)". Importantly, you need to decide what outcome you want first. — Bilkokuya 59 secs ago
#13531 Bilkokuya (1426 rep) | Q: Is my friend in love with me? (score: -4) | posted 18 minutes ago by Marisa (1 rep)
12:29 PM
I think the rules are being applied equally and zealously, and because of this, people are excluded from participating as they would like to -> you bet! and it has to be done that way IMO. My garage, my rules, as my ol' man used to say. And it's much more than important than WE ALL follow the rules edicted and enforced by the community. By allowing people to go back and forth, right and left, anywhere they want to, with no respect of the Q/A path, this stack would not even become a huge mess, it would be closed long before ;) — OldPadawan 44 secs ago
#2837 OldPadawan (9436 rep) | A: is this a site that wants to exclude people? (score: -2) | posted 2 hours ago by Jak (149 rep)
12:56 PM
The OP should check his current employment contract first. My last four contracts (since 1995) in UK, Germany, and Switzerland would not have allowed this without written permission of my employer. — Martin Bonner 1 min ago
#13288 Martin Bonner (101 rep) | A: How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything? (score: 95) | posted 5 days ago by peufeu (11541 rep) | edited 5 days ago by peufeu (11541 rep)
1:19 PM
#13244 LisaMM (101 rep) | A: How can I tactfully refuse to switch seats on flights? (score: 28) | posted 6 days ago by ab2 (4074 rep) | edited 5 days ago by ab2 (4074 rep)
#13530 PatJ (101 rep) | A: How to hide panic attacks? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Spagirl (9945 rep)
1:32 PM
@fr13d: This is very valuable and I would like to edit my answer to include this. — baldPrussian 28 secs ago
#13381 baldPrussian (13035 rep) | A: How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage? (score: 141) | posted 3 days ago by baldPrussian (13035 rep)
1:48 PM
@Jak the OP can signify which answer was most useful to them by accepting it. Accepting will give it a green checkmark and make that answer show at the top of the list regardless of score. — Em C 13 secs ago
#2812 Em C (6053 rep) | A: is this a site that wants to exclude people? (score: 8) | posted 5 days ago by baldPrussian (13005 rep)
1:59 PM
The question was about panic attacks, so they had to be addressed. T the vast majority of my words were about handling the relationship, but it was bookended with PA's because that was what was asked about. I take your point to an extent and am just about to add a paragraph to addresss it, but no-one should feel they have to embrace chest pain trembling and fear that they are dying as a badge of neuro-diversity pride. — Spagirl 1 min ago
#13530 Spagirl (9945 rep) | A: How to hide panic attacks? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Spagirl (9945 rep)
Why do you think those people are your friends? What qualities do you see in them that makes them your friends, and why are you trying to fix the relationship instead of just cutting those toxic, abusive elements out of your life? — Polygnome 16 secs ago
#13517 Polygnome (762 rep) | Q: How to hide panic attacks? (score: 13) | posted 15 hours ago by Dragon (81 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by henning (3765 rep)
Hi! Welcome to Interpersonal Skills! Please read be nice first and follow it in your answer as well. — A J ♦ 41 secs ago
#13534 A J (5705 rep) | A: How do I approach telling someone that they are not invited to an event that I am having? (score: 0) | posted 1 minutes ago by Geoff Kendall (101 rep)
Please don't presume that being okay with the appalling behaviour of some men towards women constitutes being nice. It doesn't. — Geoff Kendall 22 secs ago
#13534 Geoff Kendall (97 rep) | A: How do I approach telling someone that they are not invited to an event that I am having? (score: -2) | posted 6 minutes ago by Geoff Kendall (97 rep)
#13534 A J (5705 rep) | A: How do I approach telling someone that they are not invited to an event that I am having? (score: -2) | posted 9 minutes ago by Geoff Kendall (97 rep)
I commend you stepping up against this behaviour, but I would prefer you did it without swearing too. — Belle-Sophie 27 secs ago
#13534 Belle-Sophie (942 rep) | A: How do I approach telling someone that they are not invited to an event that I am having? (score: -8) | posted 18 minutes ago by Geoff Kendall (85 rep)
About the last paragraph: sometimes anxiety and panic attacks are a warning from your body that something in your situation is really wrong and you should change that. — DarkPurpleShadow 1 min ago
#13525 DarkPurpleShadow (1939 rep) | A: How to hide panic attacks? (score: 34) | posted 5 hours ago by Astralbee (10938 rep)
Clearly some of us agree with your moral stance, but quality standards still apply. Stripped of meta-commentary and profanity this is a one-line answer: "Tell him his behavior is repugnant and he can't attend." To improve it you would need to expand and provide reasoning, explanation of how to implement it, etc. — Em C 14 secs ago
#13534 Em C (6050 rep) | A: How do I approach telling someone that they are not invited to an event that I am having? (score: -8) | posted 23 minutes ago by Geoff Kendall (85 rep) | edited 38 seconds ago by Geoff Kendall (85 rep)
#13534 Geoff Kendall (85 rep) | A: How do I approach telling someone that they are not invited to an event that I am having? (score: -8) | posted 24 minutes ago by Geoff Kendall (85 rep) | edited 45 seconds ago by Geoff Kendall (85 rep)
2:42 PM
Based on my experience, this would not be a good idea. Several years ago, when I was having blood drawn for the first time, I made the mistake of mentioning that fact to the phlebotomist, and she made me lie down for the procedure because she was afraid that what you describe might happen. It was very unpleasant. — user16947 29 secs ago
#13409 user16947 (161 rep) | A: How to be firm on what I need without causing offense? (score: 3) | posted 3 days ago by Awesome (308 rep)
#13535 Alex (675 rep) | A: How do I approach telling someone that they are not invited to an event that I am having? (score: 1) | posted 12 minutes ago by Astralbee (10953 rep)
#13535 Astralbee (10953 rep) | A: How do I approach telling someone that they are not invited to an event that I am having? (score: 1) | posted 15 minutes ago by Astralbee (10953 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Astralbee (10953 rep)
3:13 PM
Expert answer and I upvote: I thinks, maybe you are psychologist! The only 2 points that remain: if there was no historical precedent for American men to hug unrelated women, when and how did this enter popular culture and become an accepted practice; and why do men seemingly prefer not to shake hands with women? — English Student 1 min ago
#13533 English Student (7730 rep) | A: Why do men shake hands with each other but hug women? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by OldPadawan (9456 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by OldPadawan (9456 rep)
"this stack would not even become a huge mess, it would be closed long before it becomes a mess" __ That is the only thing in favor of any attempt to defend anybody against OP's valid accusation of often overzealous rule-enforcement @OldPadawan: I do believe that the most overzealous and seemingly "exclusionary" members are mainly trying to protect the long-term sustainability of this website. — English Student 1 min ago
#2837 English Student (7730 rep) | A: is this a site that wants to exclude people? (score: 1) | posted 4 hours ago by Jak (149 rep)
@chux I think OP realizes that. That's why they're asking for help. They want to know how to say "get a babysitter" without explicitly saying that. — sgroves 34 secs ago
#8574 sgroves (101 rep) | Q: How to tell friends that they are welcome without their kids? (score: 37) | posted 114 days ago by nonameisneeded (186 rep) | edited 113 days ago by user100101 (130 rep)
3:37 PM
@EnglishStudent : thanks. I'm no psychologist, just a curious man :) it took me months before I can craft this answer, as I had only half of it, and still a lot of research to back-up some of my thoughts and claim. Better late than never though ^^ — OldPadawan 1 min ago
#13533 OldPadawan (9466 rep) | A: Why do men shake hands with each other but hug women? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by OldPadawan (9466 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by OldPadawan (9466 rep)
That makes it a really good addition to the answers here, @Old Padawan. — English Student 6 secs ago
#13533 English Student (7730 rep) | A: Why do men shake hands with each other but hug women? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by OldPadawan (9466 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by OldPadawan (9466 rep)
1. when and how did this enter popular culture and become an accepted practice -> I have absolutely no idea...2. why do men seemingly prefer not to shake hands with women? because of this feeling of protecting/getting closer? — OldPadawan 14 secs ago
#13533 OldPadawan (9466 rep) | A: Why do men shake hands with each other but hug women? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by OldPadawan (9466 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by OldPadawan (9466 rep)
#13533 English Student (7730 rep) | A: Why do men shake hands with each other but hug women? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by OldPadawan (9466 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by OldPadawan (9466 rep)
3:53 PM
If you simply avoid to invite him, would he assume himself invited and attend the event anyway? — English Student 1 min ago
#13514 English Student (7730 rep) | Q: How do I approach telling someone that they are not invited to an event that I am having? (score: 8) | posted 20 hours ago by Zachiel (171 rep)
4:04 PM
That won't even work. Citizenship is no longer automatic. Many countries have backed away from automatically granting residency to spouses. The logic is, if you like her so much, go to her country, and if you don't, probable sham! — Harper 53 secs ago
#13379 Harper (2039 rep) | Q: How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage? (score: 74) | posted 4 days ago by sleepytime (374 rep) | edited 4 days ago by Kat (1778 rep)
4:29 PM
@mbomb007 neither my Dad nor myself are of any religion, and bringing faith into this will certainly not help. I do appreciate your sentiment though. — Violet Flare 1 min ago
#13311 Violet Flare (606 rep) | Q: How to be there for my Dad when facing bad news? (score: 13) | posted 5 days ago by Violet Flare (606 rep) | edited 5 days ago by Violet Flare (606 rep)
#13381 forresthopkinsa (101 rep) | A: How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage? (score: 147) | posted 4 days ago by baldPrussian (13047 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by baldPrussian (13047 rep)
I'm already aware that breaking down isn't going to help my Dad, though I don't think avoiding him is a solution - I'm sorry you've been through this yourself, last time I did try to hold back my tears, but he asked me if I was okay, and said he could tell that I'm not, that's when they started streaming down my face. I'm at a loss for what to say or do IF we're faced with bad news in the future. — Violet Flare 1 min ago
#13326 Violet Flare (606 rep) | A: How to be there for my Dad when facing bad news? (score: -1) | posted 5 days ago by gnasher729 (1565 rep) | edited 46 hours ago by gnasher729 (1565 rep)
4:52 PM
This is a funny interpretation. I french, so the custom here is to "cheek kiss" females, both in a F/F and F/M setting. I find it awkward in a professional setting, so I don't do it at work, but every single woman at my workplace goes for a kiss when first meeting me, and oftentimes the next few times as well. And in public social events it's almost universally kisses, or sometimes no contact at all. We don't do hugs here though. — BlindSp0t 59 secs ago
#2207 BlindSp0t (624 rep) | A: Why do men shake hands with each other but hug women? (score: 10) | posted 245 days ago by English Student (7730 rep) | edited 173 days ago by English Student (7730 rep)
#13244 ab2 (4094 rep) | A: How can I tactfully refuse to switch seats on flights? (score: 28) | posted 6 days ago by ab2 (4094 rep) | edited 5 days ago by ab2 (4094 rep)
I suggest that you change your goals. You said "My overall goal is that she will stop asking me to get married, and that we will stay friends." I suggest that you simply tell her that you will not do this, and that if she continues to bring it up you will stop being friends with her. If she is really your friend then she will honor your request. If she is just using you then she will either walk away, or continue to ask you about marrying her. In which case she wasn't really your friend anyway. I didn't post this as an answer because it does not meet your goal of keeping the friendship. — Itsme2003 1 min ago
#13379 Itsme2003 (124 rep) | Q: How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage? (score: 76) | posted 4 days ago by sleepytime (384 rep) | edited 4 days ago by Kat (1778 rep)
5:37 PM
Extremely similar situation involving video camera: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/12420/… The answers on that question might be relevant to your situation. — English Student 51 secs ago
#13327 English Student (7730 rep) | Q: Friend wants rare vinyl record collection back after 7 years (score: 11) | posted 5 days ago by Solomon (59 rep) | edited 3 days ago by Solomon (59 rep)
My personal rule: I consider "drive safe" to be a meaningless phrase used conversationally, for which "thanks" is a perfectly valid response, unless I'm about to leave on my motorcycle, in which case I treat it as a genuine show of concern and give my response more feeling. — Cort Ammon 1 min ago
#13473 Cort Ammon (3176 rep) | A: How to reply to "Drive/Travel Safe"? (score: 16) | posted 2 days ago by Doc (284 rep) | edited 2 days ago by Doc (284 rep)
5:53 PM
After delivering the joke, change to a serious face, and finish with "... but really, no." - return to a relaxed mood right after. This will pass both messages: that you are seriously not considering, but are not bothered by it. - If the above is useful, feel free to exercise your CC-BY-SA 3.0 rights and add it to the answer. The previous sentence is not necessary. — Mindwin 1 min ago
#13381 Mindwin (288 rep) | A: How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage? (score: 150) | posted 4 days ago by baldPrussian (13047 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by baldPrussian (13047 rep)
6:23 PM
@Catija I would think that politeness and rudeness are absolutely interpersonal skills, in fact, many multinational companies teach courses to their employees who will be dealing with different cultures. Much of it is not subjective. Address a German with "du" instead of "Sie" and see what happens. — Richard U 1 min ago
#2826 Richard U (7080 rep) | Q: Should "Is this polite?" questions be on topic? (score: 3) | posted 5 days ago by BlackThorn (1810 rep) | edited 4 days ago by Em C (6049 rep)
7:03 PM
"If you can always get as many new chips as you want for free, you may as well bet everything, every time." It's weird how people feel the need to put money on poker. It's not like people can't play chess without people throwing their queens away because "Hey, I can always start a new game and get a new one for free". — Acccumulation 12 secs ago
#13487 Acccumulation (813 rep) | A: How to ask if people are gambling for "real money" with leaving possibility not to join? (score: 2) | posted 55 hours ago by rick boender (111 rep) | edited 55 hours ago by rick boender (111 rep)
1 hour later…
8:24 PM
@pipe it's over text, so sadly no expressions. There are both times when we talk in a group, and when we talk one on one, and the panic attacks usually happen when we're talking in a group, or when I think they're excluding me from the group and not telling me. — Dragon 33 secs ago
#13517 Dragon (91 rep) | Q: How to hide panic attacks? (score: 15) | posted 21 hours ago by Dragon (91 rep) | edited 9 hours ago by henning (3765 rep)
@Spagirl No, and I have trouble feeling how I physically feel during them, and I'm just not sure what to call them. I find myself with my heart racing and my limbs shaking, but I can't even notice until partway though. It also varies greatly- after I posted this, I had an episode and I was shaking so bad I literally couldn't type. — Dragon 1 min ago
#13517 Dragon (91 rep) | Q: How to hide panic attacks? (score: 15) | posted 21 hours ago by Dragon (91 rep) | edited 9 hours ago by henning (3765 rep)
@enlighten_me It can go either way. The event that prompted this they were part of, but two of the people didn't encounter any problems with what I said, but the third person did, and then when they complained the others backed them up and I couldn't handle it anymore. — Dragon 22 secs ago
#13494 Dragon (91 rep) | Q: How to deal with people ganging up on me when they have complaints? (score: 3) | posted 50 hours ago by Dragon (91 rep)
9:13 PM
I think that it also applies to online situations. Rather than just going offline, which can be perceived as dramatic and cause further stress to OP, so instead of suddenly disappearing from a conversation, I think they can use this line to leave the conversation. — Sophie 17 secs ago
#13518 Sophie (351 rep) | A: How to hide panic attacks? (score: 18) | posted 22 hours ago by Sophie (351 rep)
#13533 GretchenV (750 rep) | A: Why do men shake hands with each other but hug women? (score: 2) | posted 7 hours ago by OldPadawan (9466 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by OldPadawan (9466 rep)
9:28 PM
Also, the scope of the problem isn't clear, but there may be psychological problems here, especially if she doesn't use or hides her purchases. See, e.g., a Psychology Today article. — cactus_pardner 40 secs ago
#13368 cactus_pardner (347 rep) | Q: How to talk to family member about their spending? (score: 20) | posted 4 days ago by Psirus (201 rep)
+1 for pointing out the disingenuousness pretending they were offering to do a favor. — stannius 36 secs ago
#13252 stannius (101 rep) | A: How can I tactfully refuse to switch seats on flights? (score: 20) | posted 6 days ago by Ben (399 rep) | edited 3 days ago by mattdm (310 rep)
10:24 PM
#13244 Tim Seguine (101 rep) | A: How can I tactfully refuse to switch seats on flights? (score: 31) | posted 6 days ago by ab2 (4124 rep) | edited 6 days ago by ab2 (4124 rep)
1 hour later…
11:27 PM
Very interesting, particularly your analysis of the links in the second paragraph. I've learned a lot from your question! I'd quibble that the idea is to exclude people when they're acting a certain way, e.g. if they want to mix discussion with Q&A. "Excluding people" often has a negative sound to it, but part of that is just Geek Social Fallacies that any exclusion is always bad. — cactus_pardner 17 secs ago
#2837 cactus_pardner (347 rep) | A: is this a site that wants to exclude people? (score: 1) | posted 13 hours ago by Jak (149 rep)
11:37 PM
I think the intepersonal skill to develop here might be 'getting a read on confusing situations'. With only 5 people in the class, the classmates may be able to tell you, if you can convince them that you just want to develop. That class is very small - is it an advanced seminar course for the best students? If you are an 'average student' the lecturer may feel that attending to you is a poor investment of his time in a stretch class for students headed toward PhD studies or something like that? I'm really reaching for an explanation... Are your expectations for attention too high? — Atcrank 1 min ago
#13412 Atcrank (123 rep) | Q: How can I improve my teacher-student relationship with a professor that ignores me? (score: 4) | posted 3 days ago by (deleted user) | edited 3 days ago by Em C (6059 rep)
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