Comments are not for discussion. If your comment isn't suggesting improvements or requesting clarification, don't post it. — sphennings 30 secs ago

'I go by Thomas(, by the way)." is also possible. — William Lio 1 min ago

@sphennings First of all Your comment is self refuting and I am suggesting a freaking improvement. — Oleg 1 min ago

Would you be willing to write the paper if you were compensated for your time? Or are you absolutely not willing to do it? — David Schwartz 33 secs ago

If both parties assert the items belong him, and there is no way to prove different, the one in possession is the legal owner. If my neighbor says, "That shovel belongs to me. You borrowed it." And I say, "No I didn't. It belongs to me." If the police get involved, and no further evidence is presented, it belongs to me. — Awesome 46 secs ago

I'd shorten it still to, "It's Thomas." But, I would want to investigate the origins of your response to the name 'Tom'. It is an unusual response, and maybe you could learn something about yourself. — Awesome 1 min ago

The OP wouldn't be losing money by allowing neighbors on his wireless system. So, the neighbors will think, 'He denies my children access to the things they enjoy, and at no advantage to himself, except that he doesn't trust us!" — Awesome 1 min ago

What sort of "complaints" are you talking about here? Are they complaints about you personally and/or something that you're actually responsible for, or about others? Are they expecting you to solve actual problems, or just venting in general? — goldPseudo 45 secs ago

How does it answer the question? This doesn't appear an IPS solution at all. — A J ♦ 6 secs ago

@Awesome it is dependent on region. In some parts of the world internet is expensive and limited. In which case, yes, if they use up all his internet cap then he will have to pay for more. — Stacey 1 min ago

@goldPseudo I would say, usually complaints about stuff I'm responsible for, and me not handling it in ways that one person doesn't like, and then the others typically chip in against me, but the stuff is often relatively subjective. — Dragon 15 secs ago

@Fo. Cost is a factor. if internet is expensive and limited where you live, then your neighbors are more inclined to be understanding if you don't want to share. If internet is practically free and unlimited, then they are more likely to be offended. These are two separate scenarios. "Sorry I only have limited cap" is a valid response for one of them and not the other. Hence my question and the request for the region tag. — Stacey 19 secs ago

@NomadMaker Any marriage entered into for the primary purpose of obtaining a visa is considered fraudulent by the immigration authorities. I do not know of any country that takes a different view. Legally it's actually opening the OP up to being used financially and otherwise by this person - it has no up side worth the down sides. — StephenG 1 min ago

@Pheo. Wrong, Pheo. I agreed it does not improve an interpersonal skill. — Sentinel 1 min ago

There are some major omissions from the OP! Most grandmothers are especially eager to help their daughters when they give birth. And I've never seen a young mother who was ungrateful for the assistance. If your mother comes to visit, she can hold the baby while you catch up on rest. Do you not trust her? Is there some past injury to your relationship? I just can't imagine being in the hospital and not wanting visitors! — Awesome 48 secs ago

This answer is deeply colored by personal experience and assumption that may or may not apply to the OP. — Awesome 26 secs ago

-3 really? Mean ppl. — LoveAPaulArse 50 secs ago

This good suggestion, why -1 ??? — LoveAPaulArse 1 min ago

@avazula There is nothing on the tour about how to give good answers. It is about asking good questions. — Nick Gammon 29 secs ago

Welcome to the site. Great first answer! :) — Erik 1 min ago

Can you explain a bit why this is the right thing to say? This site doesn't generally prefer one-line answers and would rather see some more context/substance. — Erik 1 min ago

@kasperd: she was a student, so probably had a student visa. Now, she graduated, she can legally stay only for a short time, to let her find a job that would sponsor her. If her current company is not interested in sponsoring her, then she may have been thinking about marrying her boyfriend, until her recent break-up... — Taladris 1 min ago

If you think about the literal meaning of "farewell" (that is, "Fare well!"), it could actually bring up a very similar response/dilemma from the addressee. It's just that we're too used to its "conversation ender" meaning that we don't feel a need to reply to the wish/request therein. — Angew 41 secs ago

@Fo. Yes, this site is more subjective than the ones you've frequented over the years. No, that doesn't mean everything flies here. Please read this blog post on what makes a good subjective site/question. Your question should hold enough detail and be worded explicitly enough to not leave people guessing at motives or reasons, like your comments here leave the community doing right now. Please answer the questions users ask you, to avoid having your question closed as too broad/unclear. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 46 secs ago

Why are you afraid of causing offense? Have you already tried anything that went wrong? Don't remove the reference to neighbours, that'll certainly make this too broad, but also, why the worry about ranges, if they can get your signal at their place, surely they can get their own when at your place? Please add a location tag or some information on cultural/societal norms, since they may shed some light on why refusing may be offensive or the best way to refuse this... — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago

I just tell visitors I don't use wireless -> nowadays, most devices have built-in wireless utilities. It makes it harder to deny a connexion, as the WiFi exists, and when you come in with your own device, every (but the pwd) is set up... this looks like a very bad lie, and people will know it is :( — OldPadawan 1 min ago

@Angew I was thinking about the literal meaning ;-) — Spagirl 1 min ago

I'm voting to close this because it's essentially a "what should I say?" question. — curiousdannii 30 secs ago

I'm voting to close this question this because it is a "What should I say?" question. — curiousdannii 41 secs ago

May I ask for an update: did you use one of the solutions proposed here? How did it turn out? — Taladris 10 secs ago

@Andy Perhaps I didn't phrase it right. A lot of car insurance companies give you a discount if you take one and I know a lot of people who do it for that reason, in the state I have lived in. — Tycho's Nose 2 mins ago

Normal could simply be what is common to her though( from growing up or whatever). If I gave that person the benefit of the doubt it could come from an idea that something is unfamiliar. And the change conflicts with what she considered "normal". — Sidar 13 secs ago

I don't see an Interpersonal Skills question here. There are any number of reasons, which only they know. So you'd need to ask them. And there are any number of next steps. Best have a read of our site scope on the help page... — Rory Alsop 49 secs ago

I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's very broad, opinion based, and, more likely an intrapersonal problem, rather than an IPS. Please edit your question to make it more suitable for this stack (maybe take the tour, read meta, search, or ask for help in chat). — OldPadawan 19 secs ago

@OldPadawan Could you suggest any edits? — user377340 1 min ago

@user377340 : it's very broad and rather unclear. So, my suggestion is: 1. Cut down the unnecessary background 2. Narrow down to ONE goal 3. Focus to the interpersonal skill you'd like to use/improve. — OldPadawan 18 secs ago

@RoryAlsop Please see the recent edit, I missed on that previously... — user377340 33 secs ago

@OldPadawan please see edit brother.. — user377340 49 secs ago

I am amazed about all the negative points. As @Cascabel and Catija said, the other comments were not removed. My question was appropriate. They did notice the comments after reading the question, and later removed them as well. But, when I asked the question for clarification, they were not.The negative points make no sense. — user 33 secs ago

As it stands this is a "try this" answer, try to give adequate explanation so that we can understand why this answer would work — Jesse 1 min ago

From what I saw, when your original comments were posted, the non-removed comments actually were asking for clarification, so it all made sense. Then others posted other comments that merited deletion, and it took longer to delete them because the people here are humans and not always doing this (see my comment above). None of that justifies complaints about speed/consistency of enforcement. — Cascabel 1 min ago

@Cascabel That is not rue, I posted a screenshot. No clarification was being asked. I actually did not even check to see they were removed after, but I trust that you did. But the screenshot is clear evidence that what I am saying is correct. — user 49 secs ago

When you say "discuss this problem with roommate" - what problem is that. You've so interlaced the rent issue with the rest of the question that it's difficult to see where the two separate. Are you looking to address the issue of the SO's job failures? Their envy about your employees? Does the SO owe you money other than the rent you've already told them "don't stress out over it"? — Catija ♦ 1 min ago

The problem is that SO is treating me poorly, despite not making an effort to keep a job long enough to pay me. I feel that I shouldn't be treated like I am — Kristoff 16 secs ago

But what, concretely, does "treating me poorly" mean to you? Where are your expectations differing from the SO's actions? Please don't take this to mean I'm arguing with you. I'm attempting to understand the situation more clearly. :) — Catija ♦ 1 min ago

An example from the other day. The AC was set to 80, which is really high and not normal. I asked them "Hey, are you guys changing the thermostat? it was set to 80" and the SO comes at me with "Why are you assuming it was us? Next time you should ask us instead of accusing us". — Kristoff 1 min ago

I texted my roommate the other day when a smoke detector went off, asking if they were smoking when it happened. we smoke. no big deal. I'm trying to solve a problem. SO slams doors and screams ' — Kristoff just now

Or the dishes. SO gets mad that I cook in the kitchen daily, and exaggerates the situation. Comes at me with "I never get to use the kitchen cause its always filthy". I clean up after myself and leave things in the sink sometimes until the next morning. SO never cleans after they do anything. SO was also enthusiastic about the idea of cleaning up after us prior to moving in. SO gets mad at me when I hire a maid to come clean my house now. — Kristoff 57 secs ago

In some EU countries you simply call emergency and they will take Bill to the hospital. In US, Bill is eventually going to get arrested for assault, unless he has family/friends to pay hospital bills for him. I would find a way to break the lease and move. Let the landlord fix the issue. — Magicsowon 1 min ago

Thank you for asking! That sounds SO American in my Dutch ears. I'm not saying it will not be the way to go in The States, but in The Netherlands it would be counterproductive for sure. Be polite and friendly but firm and assertive. That's great advice and few people would scowl at you when that's your attitude. But I would refrain from adding things I don't mean or are simply not true, like I'm sorry I can't help you with this. — mgr326639 17 secs ago

This is a really good start to an answer with a good premise. Generally IPS encourages answers to be more in-depth, discussing such things as: why this is a good answer, how this has worked in the past, and addressing possible risks. — baldPrussian 1 min ago

Nope no personal experience, just well read. — WendyG 1 min ago

@ThorbjørnRavnAndersen In the times she did show up, she did report a loss, though you make a good point in that she might be avoiding it if she has gained weight. That doesn't explain her behaviour with other work-related meetings though. — Fodder 1 min ago

@Fodder Unless this is related to you now, I would stay out of her work related tardiness. That is her problem - and her managers. For your situation just tell her that if she is interested in meeting up with you it needs to be managed as a meeting and treated as such. — Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen 1 min ago

Wait five minutes after the agreed time and then leave. — Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen 30 secs ago

She needs to understand that this is a problem before this approach will work. — Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen 1 min ago

I like the redirection in this answer, in three sentences it clearly defines a response, boundaries, and the next action to take. Personally I would replace the word "needed" with "wanted" in order to not give their request any undue merit. But otherwise I think this is an effective, concise approach. — CTChapman 23 secs ago

@ArwenUndómiel I think it's also important to remember why rules exist. If you hover over the upvote button the tooltip reads "This answer is useful". At the current time, this answer has a vote count of 82, almost 3 times as many as the question itself, so it's clearly useful. If we blindly apply a "rule" here, what do we get out of it? The question's criteria are that the solution should be polite and reveal the person's gender. Applying the "rule" we will get an "explanation" stating "This is polite and will get you the person's gender". It's really just stating the obvious, in this case. — JBentley 43 secs ago

@PeterJens On the contrary, that is not being simple, it is painfully beating around the bush to the point where the person receiving the question will probably miss the point and come back with a reply explaining that there is no restriction on gender. If you go into a bar and want a beer but aren't sure if they serve beer, would you expect to find out by asking "Do you have any restrictions on what kind of drink I'm allowed to order here?". Contrast that with "I'd like a beer; is that something you serve?". — JBentley 1 min ago

This doesn't answer the question at all. — JBentley 39 secs ago

Have you talk to your roomate? — Juan Carlos Oropeza 1 min ago