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RegDwigнt

00:00

And apparently it has been discovered that it gives you immunity against corona or something. Or heals you 100% no question asked.

So now they're trying to get it approved. Because obviously it is not.

Robusto

Uh, sure ...

RegDwigнt

@Robusto that, too. But my question would be who the fuck tested it and on whom.

Not that I would put it past the Russians that they did.

Robusto

They probably tested it on political prisoners.

RegDwigнt

Anyway, just you watch. All kind of shit will suddenly get certified.

After a century of being classified as WMDs.

Robusto

Just one Ricin pill will cure that coronavirus for good.

Cerberus

00:02

@RegDwigнt Where did you hear this?

RegDwigнt

@Robusto Or, tying into my point from earlier, just one regular vaccine not given to a patient will help them die of regular flu and not this horrible corona.

@Cerberus Russian news agencies.

You don't have them in the West.

Cerberus

Hmm.

RegDwigнt

I could actually go look up the name cuz I forgot. Of the medicament, that is.

But I already promised an hour ago to go to bed instead.

Robusto

@RegDwigнt As the saying went, "there's no truth in Pravda and no news in Izvestia"

RegDwigнt

Of course. It's title case. You only leave the most important words. All the "no"s and all the "in"s are dropped.

tchrist

00:06

@Robusto No, 60s too.

Robusto

Yeah, I was a year off. Sue me.

At least I got the chirality part right. But apparently nobody gives points for that.

/pouts

RegDwigнt

I can give you a horse.

Oh, you said chirality, not chivalry.

tchrist

@RegDwigнt et dona ferentes?

Robusto

Already have a horse. At least my wife does. Me, I don't do that stuff.

RegDwigнt

Yeah no points for chivalry, then.

tchrist

00:08

calvary

RegDwigнt

Calgary

tchrist

Think I'll go out to Alberta
Weather's good there in the fall

Robusto

No, I don't "timeo Danaos" for anything. Heh, spears. What'd you expect?

RegDwigнt

Eric Clapton - Alberta (Unplugged)

►

Alberta is unplugged.

tchrist

@Robusto Danads are deadly!

Robusto

00:10

@RegDwigнt Clapton is a racist.

RegDwigнt

Some spears can be good. Like Britney.

@Robusto who isn't.

tchrist

Our drive-through corvid testing station overflowed today.

Robusto

Yeah, it's probably already a vector for COVID-19.

tchrist

Hundreds of cars backed up, waiting. All with written orders from their doctor to get tested.

RegDwigнt

Well, take a boat next time.

Robusto

00:11

Quick, cue Jim Morrison!

The Doors The End

►

RegDwigнt

At least you get orders from your doctors to get tested.

tchrist

The problem is that the drive-through was only open for four hours today.

RegDwigнt

Here every day some Spiegel journalist will post an article how he tried to get himself tested and went to fifty doctors and nobody tested him.

Cerberus

Same here.

RegDwigнt

I guess if he had to pay $3000 for the test, he'd get tested alright.

Cerberus

00:12

Just stay at home if you're feeling mildly ill.

RegDwigнt

I've been feeling mildly ill for the last three months.

I cannot go by that.

Robusto

This is the end, beautiful friend
This is the end, my only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes again.

RegDwigнt

I am too old to join club 27.

Robusto

@RegDwigнt You had your chance and you blew it.

RegDwigнt

Guilty as charged.

Had it only stayed the only chance that I blew.

tchrist

00:15

@RegDwigнt Double that.

And now you can join Club 54.

RegDwigнt

Right anyway. I must go to sleep and I plan to not get up in the morning until I've slept enough. Then I decide whether or not to take a paid leave.

@tchrist I'll keep you posted on that in 14 years.

tchrist

@RegDwigнt Or the heirs of my body.

RegDwigнt

Nighty-night.

Robusto

@RegDwigнt You're gonna let Amy Winehouse beat you, huh?

Amy got in just under the wire, apparently. 27 years and 332 days.

Wait, Slađa Guduraš is on the list? All right, who's letting Bosnian pop singers in?

@Færd: OK, I took the test and got 950. What'd I win?

@tchrist Pro tip: heirs generally take the money and leave the body.

tchrist

I knew that whole fruit of the loins thing wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Apparently too much LDS.

The Mormons have selfcancelled.

No more gatherings of any sort.

They've always been ones to protect the paternal germ line.

Robusto

00:29

Yeah. Well, what can you say about a religion that was given the word of God on tablets of gold ... and lost them.

tchrist

> New Mexico to close all K-12 public schools for 3 weeks

We're into the 400s of new cases today. In America.

Not the way I had hoped to teach people what growing exponentially really means.

@Robusto Didn't they just renege on rules against polygamous marriages last week or something?

Robusto

Difficult times call for polygamous solutions.

tchrist

Clearly.

Spread the sperm.

> The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced on Thursday that it was suspended all public gatherings around the world. The church is the first major religious tradition to issue such a global edict.

Robusto

@tchrist When most say something grew "exponentionally" they mean "it grew a lot."

tchrist

@Robusto I can't hear you.

Robusto

00:33

Well, that's how people use it. I always just laugh.

tchrist

I am deaf to the sins of the innumerate.

I think the Catholics did something funky for Ash Wednesday this year.

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

Robusto

There was a great video I used to show people who did that, which showed what actual exponential growth looks like, in 3D. And they were like, "Oh ..."

Can't find the link now.

Trouble is, it's hard to even show on a computer screen, because you have to keep rescaling.

tchrist

That one goes with their little Greatest Common Factor fuckups.

Robusto

The problem is, people simply can't grasp large numbers.

I was talking to someone from California whose home town has about 100,000 people in it. And I told them if everyone in your town lost all their assets, and then Jeff Bezos moved in there, on average everyone in their town would be a millionaire.

Or put it another way. Say you have a million dollars in $100 bills and it makes a pile of bills a foot high. Jeff Bezos's pile would be so high no jet in the world could fly over it.

Even the smallest billionaire's pile would rival the largest skyscrapers.

I know, I sound like a Communits.

But I'm right.

Pero ya lo sabías.

Mitch

01:18

Great so we've moved on from the depressing topic to coronavirus to thalidomide.

tchrist

The birds are innocents, I tell you! All 19 of them night choughs are blameless in this affliction. But don't trust the rook.

tchrist

03:12

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau, wife of the Canadian prime minister, has the virus.

Cerberus