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12:01
What are we going to do today?
invent new ways of thinking about becoming in charge of everyone?
I don't want to be in charge of everyone.
And talking about sex is way boring.
Today I have to learn how to do something using either javascript or jQuery.
Which shall it be?
jQuery all the way! unless you can't do it with jQuery
I don't know what the extent of jQuery is.
So far I have only used it for styling tables.
Today, I want to check the contents of a textbox and disable a certain number of dropdowns based on the number in the box.
Because that is the easiest thing in the world.
jQuery! jQuery! jQuery!
and a little bit of plain javascript
> At New York’s Kennedy Airport today, an individual was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
> “Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,” Ashcroft said. “They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are three sides to every triangle,” Ashcroft declared.
> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from those who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line.”
12:08
I remember that. It was very funny then and only slightly less funny now.
> President Bush warned, “These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a higher power and begin to factor in random facts of vertex.”
> Attorney General Ashcroft said, “Read my ellipse. Their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks.”
I'm reading a paper about mathematics folklore
it has lots of jokes
but, not many funny ones
I have code that works server-side, but the users are unhappy that it doesn't work immediately.
They should buy a faster internet.
@KitFox do you have time to learn about EventSource?
They should use the f-cking tab key like all true data operators.
12:10
it's in the latest version of javascript
it allows you to stream updates to your clients
Hmm.
but it probably won't work in IE
I could probably use a different event anyway.
in fact I'm sure it doesn't
Personally, I find it annoying when the page postsback on every keystroke.
12:11
yeah, that's annoying
Oh, well, if it doesn't work with IE, then I can't use it.
ah. sad times
Tru dat, but my users are not very competent with computers.
They don't even use the tab key when entering data.
Why? Why, stupid users?
Don't you realize how much extra time it takes to use the mouse and click?
heh. make the tab order unintuitive and see how many complain!
And my project lead completely sabotaged me in the training videos.
12:13
did he come in and tickle you while you were making important points?
No, he made the videos.
oh. oh dear
And despite the fact that I told him to encourage users to use the tab key for moving between fields on the form...
He of course used the mouse and complained about things being jumpy and buggy and said that that was something the programmer was working on.
In the training videos
What a douche.
BAH! What a fiend.
@KitFox Just give up already. My wife will not ever learn that the Tab key even exists. It's okay.
12:15
That's not the point!
It kind of is.
She won't be caught dead using Ctrl-C Ctrl-V, either.
He could have mentioned it. He could have said, if you are having trouble, try using the tab key. He didn't have to say my code is shite.
If you're going to insist on using the mouse, you should at least know that you are insisting on doing it in a stupid the most inefficient way.
teehee: "Read my ellipse"
12:17
that's a good one :D
But stupid people is where it's all at. You won't make any money by selling stuff to smart people. At best, you will spend money on trying to find them.
How can you read ellipsis anyway?
@KitFox Well Kit, all I have to say is that you can't really change users. If they're going to be stupid or inefficient, we have to find ways to work around that.
I know that! That's not what I'm yelling about!
Speaking from my experience as a programmer, it'd take you twice as long without Ctrl-C Ctrl-V
12:18
oh, yeah, well, your boss IS a douche, too.
Thank you.
@KitFox How can you … anyway?
He could have been helpful, but instead he threw me under the bus, unnecessarily, and that is recorded for all future users to hear.
@Neil my wife is well aware of the countless hours she has spent on figuring out how to copy and paste in all the different programs. Still, she won't be caught dead using Ctrl-C Ctrl-V that works in all of them.
Insanity!
12:20
So Kit, how much do you know about functions in JS? Like anonymous functions, passing functions around, etc?
And she makes pretty dresses! How can she be that nuts!?
@RegDwightB8, consider that I live in Italy, and not all shortcuts are the same, for example, in Italian, they say "trovare" not "find", so rather than Ctrl-F as a hotkey for searching for text, with some programs you have to do Ctrl-T.
@MrShinyandNew安宇 Zero. I wrote some javascript maybe ten years ago. I wrote three lines for this project. I do know python pretty well, though.
@KitFox JQuery and most modern toolkits rely on this feature a lot.
Which would be fine I guess, if it was always that way, but some programs are in english and use Ctrl-F, so you never know what works and what doesn't. At least Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V always work.
12:22
That's the point. They even work in Russian.
@KitFox so if you're just going to spend a bit of time doing some "training" I'd play around with that.
You don't have to switch to the English layout. You just type Ctrl-С Ctrl-М, it works.
@RegDwightΒВBẞ8 What about German? Ctrl-K, Ctrl-W?
So that reminded me of Firefox: "You must think... in Russian"
And I was looking for the clip.
I think it has been thirty years since I have seen that movie.
12:27
public static void Main(string [] arg) {

Judge: Does public mean you're donating it to Java?
Owen Astrachan: No.
Judge: Then whey don't you make it private?
Owen Astrachan: I have to make Main public. It has special meanings.
@RegDwightΒВBẞ8 So you're using Emacs in chat now? Cool.
Worst still, on one of these programs, Ctrl+T means "delete the current line you're on," and if it weren't bad enough as it is already, if I'm absent-minded, I may be deleting content from the file.
@Robusto how else do you suggest that I play Tetris?
Yeah. Remember how Java used to be free?
12:28
@Vitaly, it's a conspiracy. Java really means to donate every public method to charity.
@Robusto I only remember how Cuba used to be free.
Which reminds me. Why the eff does the US still have a trade embargo against Cuba?
Ah, Cuba Libre. My drink of choice.
Wait, isn't a Cuba Libra a Cuban who was born in October?
@Robusto We forgot to remove it?
12:30
Yeah, like you forgot to prosecute Bush.
Stuff happens!
@KitFox No. It's just a case of no politician having the balls to treat with one more dictator among the many we already deal with.
@RegDwightΒВBẞ8 facepalm How do we keep forgetting that?
Easily. You keep forgetting that easily.
I mean, anybody who imagines Cuba is a threat the the US right now is living in fantasy land. The worst threat they pose is an increased risk of oral cancer due to cigar smoking.
Found it!
Now somebody can tell me how good Clint Eastwood's Russian is.
@Robusto Don't forget their prison detainees! They are dangerous enemy combatants.
12:32
@Robusto I think it's a grudge thing. Nobody actually remembers why the embargo was put there in the first place. It just is.
@Robusto how do you suggest to spend the military budget if there's no threat?
On puppies?
From Cuba?
@RegDwightΒВBẞ8 On flying laser tanks, what else?
@RegDwightΒВBẞ8 Cuban puppies are evil, didn't you know?
@Robusto but what would they shoot at? Vegas visitors? You gotta need Cubans for that.
We need flying laser tanks to counter the Cuban puppies, which represent a clear and present danger to our democracy and our freedoms. We insist on being the only threat to our democracy and our freedoms.
See, world? We can destroy our democracy and our freedoms before you can! Nyah-nyah!
12:35
The problem is, too many politicians who want to fix immediate problems and not enough who are wise enough to realize that the solutions to immediate problems are not necessarily (and not usually) solutions for the long term.
@Neil Not enough are wise enough to tie their freakin' shoelaces, let alone do anything useful. In fact, most of them won't tie their shoelaces unless they're getting paid by lobbyists to do so.
I don't need to tie my freakin' shoelaces if I get OVER 9000 million a year.
@Robusto That's not it, they're wiser than you think. They are just wise at getting votes, that's all.
@RegDwightΒВBẞ8 Stop speaking in British numbers. Just say billion, like a real person.
@Neil Money. Wise at getting money. Which buys votes.
@Neil you are giving them too much credit. They don't care about votes. They care about money. Money will buy you votes. Not the other way round.
12:37
Jinx.
Mine was more succinct, btw, so Succinx!
My original was the succinctest.
Ha. You? Original?
You just stole from me, while I reworded.
@Robusto Well votes mean money, but yeah. All I meant was, if Obama can get 13% more votes next election by declaring amnesty to illegal immigrants, he'll do it.
@Robusto yes, to which you replied "sad but true".
12:38
I stole from your Urtext, right.
Actually, watch it happen.
All a charade. Pronounced to rhyme with facade.
Politics is broken, if it ever even worked at all.
but facade doesn't rhyme with lemonade
@Robusto Government will cascade.
@MattЭллен It does if you want it to.
@Neil Careful, or I will hit you with a fusillade. And wouldn't that be odd? nod
Let's go trolling for Witaly: "Hey, don't you think God will prevent the singularity from cutting in on his action?"
12:41
@Robusto A fusillade? Really now. o_O
God is the Singularity.
@Neil I stand by my guns.
@RegDwightΒВBẞ8 No, the Singularity is the Anti-Christ.
What is all this misconception about the singularity?
Singularity and Satan both begin with S. QED.
@Neil Misconception? Don't you mean Immaculate Misconception?
Oh noes what has u did. QED summons Jasper, doesn't u no?
user19161
12:43
@Robusto When did Vitaly become Witaly?
Crap. Hide simchona.
@Robusto I already have a trigger on that misspelling.
@Vitaly Which is why I used it. If I'd just said Vitaly you wouldn't have bothered.
No triggers in this chat. We are a peaceful communist island.
With puppies!
12:44
Speaking of which, the Communist party was one of the worst parties ever. I mean, where were the party favors, the balloon animals, the cake and ice cream? But they did have clowns, I'll give them that.
Um. All over the place.
Caviar, too.
@Robusto Totally saving that one.
Caviar is overrated. Also, too much sodium. And probably radioactive isotopes as well.
user19161
@skullpatrol I see you went for plastic surgery again.
@Robusto but you didn't have to eat the caviar. See how nice the communists were?
They would give you caviar and eat it, too.
12:46
Witaly is irritated that he fell into my Witaly trap.
Um, so could one of you Russians tell me how impressive Clint Eastwood's Russian is?
Irritation is the general modus operandi here.
I've waited thirty years to find out.
@KitFox I have never heard him speak Russian but I bet you a handful of dollars it's abysmal.
user19161
@KitFox Really?
12:47
@KitFox But what you suspected all along is probably true.
I just posted it!
I downloaded the CCCP, combined community codec pack the other day, and I'll admit I was a little nervous about installing it.
15 mins ago, by KitFox
Better or worse than Sean Connery's?
Oh that. I started it but it looked weird.
CCCP = Clowns, Cake, Commies — Par-tay!
12:48
@KitFox Sean Connery's Russian is nonexistent.
user19161
@Neil What is that?
It is weird. It is a cold-war era film about stealing war machines from the Russkies!
@JasperLoy Lets your windows media player play mp4 format among others
@RegDwightΒВBẞ8 Surely not?
@KitFox Specifically, about stealing the SR-71 Blackbird from the Russians. hahahaha
user19161
12:49
@Neil Oh I use WECP instead on Windows.
@Robusto sshhh
It was upgraded with a thought-interface!
Hence the need to think in Russian.
@KitFox I have listened to it six times now. I have no idea what he's saying.
user19161
I was thinking about Superman, Spiderman and Batman. Since I don't really like spiders and bats, I think I will stick to being Superman for now.
Something with вторые.
{| |} The Lockheed SR-71 "Blackbird" was an advanced, long-range, Mach 3+ strategic reconnaissance aircraft. It was developed as a black project from the Lockheed A-12 reconnaissance aircraft in the 1960s by the Lockheed Skunk Works. Clarence "Kelly" Johnson was responsible for many of the design's innovative concepts. During reconnaissance missions the SR-71 operated at high speeds and altitudes to allow it to outrace threats. If a surface-to-air missile launch was detected, the standard evasive action was simply to accelerate and outrun the missile. The SR-71 served with the U...
12:50
@JasperLoy Reason why it made me nervous is that their web site is completely red with the hammer and sickle, and it could have been a virus (albeit a bit obvious for a virus, but all the same) cccp-project.net
@Neil Well, why wouldn't you trust free software from Russia?
@RegDwightΒВBẞ8 Hmm. Let me find the part where the Russian pilot says the same thing.
@Robusto I know, right? Like candy from the guy in the van
user19161
@Neil I must say I never heard of CCCP until now. But I think WECP is very popular.
12:51
Wait, that movie was about a web browser:
Firefox is a 1982 American action film produced, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood. It is based upon the 1977 novel of the same name by Craig Thomas. Set in Russia, authentic filming locations were not possible due to the Cold War, forcing Eastwood and Fritz Manes's Malpaso Company to rely on Vienna and other locations in Austria to double for many of the Eurasian story locations. The film was shot on a $21 million budget. Plot A joint Anglo-American plot is devised to steal a highly advanced Soviet fighter aircraft (MiG-31, NATO code name "Firefox") which is capable of Mach 6, is...
My experience with Firefox exactly.
@KitFox yes, that is the canonical example of not speaking Russian.
It could be decent Mongolian, though.
Or Finnish.
Perhaps even English?
Hahaha.
I'll take the rapist for 500, Alex. Alex: That's, therapist, Sean.
I'll take the Penis Mightier, Alex. That's "the pen is mightier," Sean.
user19161
The sword is mightier than the pen.
12:56
eyerolls galore
I like the way Sean Connery says "Poossy" in Goldfinger. It's so lascivious.
user19161
You know what is so nice about the Superman logo? Any guesses?
@JasperLoy it's pronounced like ass?
user19161
@RegDwightΒВBẞ8 Wrong.
12:57
@JasperLoy It's on my favorite pajamas?
It's right at the beginning it seems.
user19161
@Robusto Wrong.
@JasperLoy how is it wrong?
@JasperLoy No UR wrong!
You've never even seen my pajamas.
user19161
OK, the answer is: it has the three primary colours blue, red and yellow. QED!
12:58
@Robusto I like that too.
Many young boys wear Superman pajamas to go to bed. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas when he goes to bed.
So both Clint and Sean are speaking unintelligible Russian? I am really disappointed.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep
@JasperLoy OK, I'll handle the off-color jokes around here, tyvm.
@MattЭллен In fact, he doesn't wear pajamas
12:59
:O he's naked!

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