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Yes.

So Jeff and I start fooling around, because Little Jess is the kind of friend who's not going to give a shit about that kind of thing going on right next to her.

We get right down to business. Clothes flung everywhere, but rats, frigging condoms are down the hall in the frigging bathroom.

1:15 AM

WTF!

So I get up, run down the hall, grab a handful, run back down the hall while opening one up.

And I trip and fall and give myself a concussion and I have to go to the hospital.

Just kidding.

A handful!

I kept my place well stocked.

I had a lot of visitors. And visitors who might entertain visitors.

You know.

:o

Go on.

David Wallace

Kit, can you type faster? I have to leave in a couple of minutes, but I really want to hear the end of this story.

1:17 AM

LOL

Anyway, I get back in bed, we're getting cozy, and I reach down get the safety equipment in place...

Suddenly, I'm WTF? This guy's got two dicks or what?

Awesome!

I'm totally boggled, thinking "I guess it's a good thing I got a handful of condoms."

But really confused.

He plays hardball?

Turns out he's got one massively huge testicle, and the rest is all normal sized equipment.

1:19 AM

0_0

David Wallace

Unsafe sex would have been putting the condom on the wrong part.

I just handed him the condom and told him he could figure that shit out.

2 mins ago, by cornbread ninja

LOL

How was it?

Later on, I found out that he had a lot of trouble because of that huge ball. It was apparently also extra sensitive, even for a testicle, poor guy.

So lots of positions and styles weren't suitable.

@KitFox He should get checked for cancer.

1:21 AM

Was it cystic?

He had been. I'm not sure why he didn't just have it removed.

Cystic? I don't think so.

I was...the only thing I have in my brain is "gigantism of the testicle" but that had to be a joke.

Elephantiasis?

I don't know. Is that possible? It did seem like he said it had something to do with calcium accretion.

Gigantor / gigantor

I only had relations with him twice.

1:23 AM

Gigaaaaa-aantor

►

giggles

Butt man / butt man

sad, sad butt man

5 mins ago, by cornbread ninja

2 mins ago, by cornbread ninja

LOL

Good story, sis.

Yeah, I'm good at telling stories. You can't even tell what parts of that are made up, can you?

You didn't really grab a handful of condoms?

1:27 AM

@KitFox The part where everyone lives happily ever after?

@cornbreadninja A handful is overstating it. I grabbed one, but you know they come in strips, and who wants to bother trying to pull them apart when you're about to get laid?

@KitFox I pull them all apart as soon as I get a new box.

I did have a lot of condoms in my house back then though. Mainly for parties.

Not that I had lots of sex.

user19161

I have had none.

Well, I did, but I wanted my guests to be safe with each other too.

Responsibility for self and others.

1:30 AM

@KitFox Sex parties?

No, just regular parties.

@Cerberus balloon animal parties.

People would have sex in your house without your involvement?

@cornbreadninja Yay!

@Cerberus Yeah.

So exciting!

1:30 AM

@Cerberus yeah!

@KitFox I see.

user19161

OMG, I need to go to your parties then Kit!

I've never heard or seen such parties.

Hahaha

@Cerberus What? Really?

1:31 AM

@Robusto Do you believe us now?

@Robusto Ouch. Zing.

@KitFox Yes.

I guess people here are tame.

Maybe you don't have parties at places where there are rooms people can sneak off to.

There are usually bedrooms.

Oh. So you just don't know that your friends are knocking boots in there.

1:32 AM

I have seen people found kissing in a bedroom.

But they wouldn't go any further.

Haha. That reminds me of another story.

@KitFox I really think they wouldn't do that.

One is expected not to.

user19161

Do you have no end of stories Kit?

No end.

Funny how conventions vary.

I would be absolutely shocked to find people doing it in my bed.

user19161

1:34 AM

Time for me to tell a story, but I can't think of any.

Or anywhere.

@Cerberus That's part of the fun, innit?

I...

@KitFox Hey, look who I'm up against!

At least you have someone to share your humiliation with.

1:35 AM

@KitFox sits on floor in front of you with cookie, looks up

@cornbreadninja Sorry, honey, I've got to go. Ask me again sometime.

Good night!

Night!

Bye!

Hmm, noöne we know.

user19161

@KitFox Good night. I will appear in your dreams again!

@Cerberus You would only find them if they wanted to be found, in which case, there is no problem.

user19161

1:41 AM

@Cerberus Who is that?

At least, that was Goldilocks’ excuse.

Night.

@Cerb

@cornbreadninja Latvia?

Nice waves.

@Cerberus damn, sir.

@Cerberus thanks!

So yeah, Latvia.

1:48 AM

@tchrist I doubt that.

@JasperLoy Some anonymous user.

@Robusto Night!

@Cerberus that you would have a problem? I would have a problem with that.

That I would not find them.

Besides, people just wouldn't do that.

It would be a scandal.

@Cerberus You haven’t lived much, have you?

I can assure you, my friends wouldn't.

And how much fun is that?

1:51 AM

Fun is relative.

I have four bedrooms in my house. The only time I’ve found people having sex in my bed is when they wanted me to find them.

Blech.

Otherwise they’d get their own room.

And what did you do when you found them?

Made tea.

Silly question, really.

1:52 AM

-_-

See, different conventions.

I would be aghast and angry.

@Cerberus same.

@cornbreadninja Phew.

It really depends on who they are, now doesn’t it?

@Cerberus between this and your dislike of apple, you're my favorite dog.

@tchrist not to me.

1:53 AM

@tchrist No? I guess if they knew I wanted to join them, which is extremely unlikely, then it would be OK.

@cornbreadninja Yay!

Remember Kit’s friend Little Jess? Shouldn’t she have been outraged by your "standards"?

@cornbreadninja Between this and your waves, you're a piece of cake.

@tchrist No, because it is OK in her culture.

@tchrist that's her prerogative.

Exactly.

Why do you ask?

1:55 AM

Alternately, she internalized her disgust/what have you.

I wanted you to see that sometimes, these things are alright for the people involved.

Culture is perhaps too big a word. Because it is OK among her friends.

@tchrist Who said it wasn't?

@Cerberus :D

Hehe.

Q: Why do humans have sex in private?

25

Human couples usually have sex in private, hidden not only from predators, but also - other humans. It is unlike behavior of most species, including our relatives: bonobos, chimpanzees and gorillas. Is private sex mostly a biological or cultural behavior? What is the advantage (if any) of such b...

1:56 AM

I always fall asleep. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up to be in Little Jess’s shoes.

Really?

@tchrist :S

Yes, really.

I’m old, remember? I’ve done a lot of things in my life.

Odd.

I would expect it even less now than ten years ago.

Too many drunk horny people, not enough places to crash.

1:58 AM

They can just go home, or exchange phone numbers.

Oh, it hasn’t happened too much in the last ten years, that’s true.

I haven't wanted to be around that for more than ten years.

How can they go home?

Not that I ever really wanted to.

That's their problem!

1:59 AM

I didn't even drink before going to college.