5:01 PM
#13074 Cascabel (391 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by sphennings (5132 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by sphennings (5132 rep)
@djsmiley2k – exactly. Planned action (robbery or swatting) from unused number, spoofed caller ID etc. is something where not displaying the number at the gate won't help. :) Unplanned act (robbery or swatting) from used phone number and they have you. If you checked about swatting before writing this, these lines wouldn't happen. — miroxlav 1 min ago
#13060 miroxlav (99 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: -1) | posted 8 hours ago by miroxlav (99 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by miroxlav (99 rep)
Given that there is evidence that obesity is an inflammatory condition, people that eat less are the real healthy ones. Also evidence show that primates might live healthier than the norm. Congratulations to those that can sustain themselves on little food. — Mindwin 1 min ago
#13067 Mindwin (283 rep) | A: How can I be more persuasive when assuring people that I am perfectly fine and healthy? (score: 12) | posted 4 hours ago by Link0352 (1796 rep)
5:29 PM
This (and other answers) seem to be about ways to not talk about a specific topic. That's not really the question. OP very much just wants to prevent discussion of said topic with people solely based on their skin color. Answers like this basically just tell OP to lie, from what I can tell. Do you have any clarification for my assumption? — Clay07g 1 min ago
#13076 Clay07g (1149 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 10 minutes ago by baldPrussian (11145 rep)
5:44 PM
@Clay07g People often recommend lying when revealing the truth would be counter to the objective trying to be achieved. Whether you agree with that or not is your call, but the answers are addressing the question. It's a tacit "You can't be honest and not offend people with this stance" — Magisch 46 secs ago
#13076 Magisch (7466 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 25 minutes ago by baldPrussian (11145 rep)
@apaul right - and there's a pattern of behavior in your rude posts, in comments, in answers, and in chat -- remember that you denigrating individual users like myself, and often attacking entire groups of people, which you have repeatedly done, is against the policies of Stack Exchange. You are not exempt from such policies. — D.Hutchinson 1 min ago
#2748 D.Hutchinson (3788 rep) | A: Why was my question closed? (score: 0) | posted 44 hours ago by apaul (32712 rep)
I would submit that this is anything but dishonest. OP wants to deal with attempts at discussing issues; this resolves that by (truthfully) saying "I don't discuss this". If it is somehow dishonest, I'd be curious to see how it is. — baldPrussian 1 min ago
#13076 baldPrussian (11145 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 28 minutes ago by baldPrussian (11145 rep)
@D.Hutchinson , I haven't denigrated entire groups. I tend to judge people on the content of their character, and even then I try really hard to give the benefit of the doubt. But when someone repeatedly demonstrates their character, I'm inclined to call them on it. — apaul 50 secs ago
#2748 apaul (32712 rep) | A: Why was my question closed? (score: 0) | posted 44 hours ago by apaul (32712 rep)
@Magisch My point was to make it clear it was a lie. I have no problem with it, as long as it is representative of what is it. baldPrussian, OP never once stated that he or she "doesn't discuss this". If that were true, I why would he or she waste time typing out the rest of that sentence with ".... with white people"? — Clay07g 1 min ago
#13076 Clay07g (1147 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 39 minutes ago by baldPrussian (11153 rep)
If your problem is with uneducated or otherwise uninformed people, I can't help but wonder why you express your frustration as if it were against "straight people". I'm sure those groups overlap heavily, but why settle for less than 100% accuracy? This is especially surprising since you actually seem to be very against automatically labeling groups of people, judging from your last paragraph. — Clay07g 1 min ago
#13078 Clay07g (1147 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 13 minutes ago by apaul (32708 rep)
Skinny person weighing in (pun unintended). I'd probably cut the "I actually spoke with my doctor and". If you're trying to convince people your — Lord Farquaad 1 min ago
#13067 Lord Farquaad (1217 rep) | A: How can I be more persuasive when assuring people that I am perfectly fine and healthy? (score: 16) | posted 5 hours ago by Link0352 (1796 rep)
6:21 PM
@apaul I, too, tend to judge people on the content of their character, and I've experienced you repeatedly demonstrating your rude call-outs and baseless accusations (for instance, my question being "fabricated"), and honestly, your accusations are getting very tiresome. — D.Hutchinson 11 secs ago
#2748 D.Hutchinson (3788 rep) | A: Why was my question closed? (score: 0) | posted 45 hours ago by apaul (32712 rep)
On the contrary, I think bringing up a medical opinion preemptively disqualifies a layman's unprofessional advice because you already have a more legitimate source of information. Also, asking your doctor about healthy eating habits is relatively common, and could/should/does happen often during checkups or physicals, even if there is no pressing medical concerns. I appreciate the input! — Link0352 1 min ago
#13067 Link0352 (1796 rep) | A: How can I be more persuasive when assuring people that I am perfectly fine and healthy? (score: 16) | posted 5 hours ago by Link0352 (1796 rep)
The "straight people" bit in your answer is a rant, and I suggest that you remove it. — D.Hutchinson 19 secs ago
#13078 D.Hutchinson (3792 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 35 minutes ago by apaul (32716 rep)
when you discuss race - even if you just answer the questions someone else brought up, you become the problem, the troublemaker. in my experience, very few people want to hear honest, uncomfortable truths. people usually don't like when you challenge their perception and bring them out of their comfort zone. they get angry or defensive. probably that's what OP is trying to avoid. — LT Ortega 25 secs ago
#13078 LT Ortega (1073 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 35 minutes ago by apaul (32716 rep)
6:43 PM
#13071 paparazzo (1415 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 4 hours ago by u_r_grounded (34 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by sphennings (5132 rep)
@EnglishStudent Its worth noting that the people stating "men stare" categorically, were the people justifying the activity as normal. No one that I saw was saying "staring is rude" and "men stare; men are creeps". — Beofett 49 secs ago
#2730 Beofett (4276 rep) | Q: Why is the following statement about men not rude? (score: 1) | posted 4 days ago by Oleg (241 rep)
@LTOrtega So your side consists of nothing but "truths" and you refuse to discuss it with people different than you because they might disagree? Wait, who won't leave their comfort zone again? — Clay07g 55 secs ago
#13078 Clay07g (1147 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 55 minutes ago by apaul (32724 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by sphennings (5130 rep)
Comments aren't for discussion Don't be surprised if any comments that aren't suggesting improvements, or requesting clarification are deleted. — sphennings 29 secs ago
#13078 sphennings (5140 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -1) | posted 56 minutes ago by apaul (32734 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by sphennings (5140 rep)
As I mentioned on the comment you quoted, phrasing your question neutrally helps a lot; by advocating a particular position, regardless of whether you use the feature-request tag, many people will downvote if they disagree (for what its worth, I didn't upvote or downvote your other question; I didn't upvote, because I feel we've had a lot of discussion on the topic, and I disagreed with your proposal, but I didn't downvote because its a perfectly valid topic). — Beofett 14 secs ago
#2770 Beofett (4276 rep) | Q: Voting on meta-questions (score: 4) | posted 10 hours ago by Daniel (2515 rep)
@Clay07g by truths i meant more like 'experiences'. i had a black bf, an intern when i lived for a year in w. europe.i brought him to a pub in a blue-collar neighborhood near which we girls rented a flat. I really loved the ppl there, they were all so nice. and when they saw him they kinda... shapeshifted into really awful, bigoted people, even those who weren't outright mocking and saying 'go back where you came from' and calling him names were kinda condescending. but when i told in the uni about seeing the place through his eyes and how i am shocked my hosts become angry and defensive — LT Ortega 32 secs ago
#13078 LT Ortega (1071 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by apaul (32734 rep) | edited 12 minutes ago by sphennings (5140 rep)
@trr The fact that you seem to be complaining that your comments were deleted despite you not breaking any rule, and that you feel entitled to a notification that your comments were being deleted, rather clearly indicates that you do not know how this system works. Comments on SO are not the same issue that they are in many other of the SE sites. Here, in particular, they are frequently the source of major conflict, and general SE policy across all sites has, and is, comments are always transitory and subject to deletion at any time, with no warning. — Beofett 1 min ago
#2707 Beofett (4276 rep) | Q: How to talk about "who is responsible, who is to blame"? (score: 22) | posted 7 days ago by Edgar (2997 rep) | edited 6 days ago by Jesse (3744 rep)
6:57 PM
...explaining to me that i am being naive and that my bf and 'his kind' is the problem and so on. I was so shocked then and angry, telling him "how can you bear it, be so calm! I would bash in their (expletive) faces of those (expletive) people!" and he just laughed and said "bashing in their faces in is not a solution, @ortega, chill" — LT Ortega 1 min ago
#13078 LT Ortega (1071 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by apaul (32732 rep) | edited 17 minutes ago by sphennings (5140 rep)
#13060 Catija (11190 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 0) | posted 10 hours ago by miroxlav (109 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by miroxlav (109 rep)
#13076 Simpleton (269 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by baldPrussian (11169 rep)
#2748 apaul (32724 rep) | A: Why was my question closed? (score: 0) | posted 45 hours ago by apaul (32724 rep)
#13078 Obie 2.0 (275 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by apaul (32732 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by apaul (32732 rep)
@Clay07g The OP is not doing that, and so I don't think baldPrussian needs to address it. The OP doesn't want to discuss racism with people who lack context and direct experience with it. Yes, that does pretty much mean white people, but they're not avoiding this because they're white, they're avoiding this because having to explain the same thing to a zillion well-meaning clueless people is exhausting. The conversation the OP would have with those people is different from the conversation they'd have with someone more aware, and it's the former they're not doing, not necessarily the latter. — Cascabel 2 mins ago
#13076 Cascabel (391 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by baldPrussian (11169 rep)
#13041 jpmc26 (154 rep) | Q: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 50) | posted 28 hours ago by IceC (355 rep) | edited 22 hours ago by gparyani (204 rep)
#13078 Catija (11190 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by apaul (32742 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Catija (11190 rep)
@JessK. I just want to point out that "beta" really doesn't have anything to do with it. All SE sites experience some amount of shift on what is and is not accepted, and the rules (and meta discussion) adjust over time. — Beofett 24 secs ago
#2729 Beofett (4276 rep) | A: Everybody understands the answer - but moderators complain - why? (score: 6) | posted 4 days ago by (deleted user) | edited 4 days ago by (deleted user)
@LTOrtega That's horrible, it truly is. But I still hope you can understand why I don't think it justifies the claim that most white people couldn't handle hearing it, or discussing it. — Clay07g 35 secs ago
#13078 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by apaul (32742 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Catija (11190 rep)
Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been moved to chat. Comments on answers is not an appropriate place to hash out your thoughts on racism. Take it to chat or move along. — Catija ♦ 1 min ago
#13078 Catija (11190 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by apaul (32742 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by Catija (11190 rep)
7:06 PM
possible-aic:
- q: respond
- q: short\Wanswer
- q: why\Wnot
- q: sounds\Wlike
- q: short\Wversion
- q: bottom\Wline
- q: just\Wsaying?
- q: worth\Wconsidering
- q: the\Wissue\Where
- q: tl.?dr
offensive:
- q: (shit|(mother)?fuck(ing|er)?)
- a: (shit|(moth(a|er))?fuck(ing|er)?|bitch(es)?)
- a: dick
- q: dick
chatty:
- a: (up|down)vote
- a: agreed?
- a: love\W?this
abusive:
- q: \barse(hole)?\b
- a: \barse(hole)?\b
experimental(@mith):
- q: i\Wwould\Wbe
obsolete:
- a: (edited|fixed)
- q: (edited|fixed)
- q: respond
- q: short\Wanswer
- q: why\Wnot
- q: sounds\Wlike
- q: short\Wversion
- q: bottom\Wline
- q: just\Wsaying?
- q: worth\Wconsidering
- q: the\Wissue\Where
- q: tl.?dr
offensive:
- q: (shit|(mother)?fuck(ing|er)?)
- a: (shit|(moth(a|er))?fuck(ing|er)?|bitch(es)?)
- a: dick
- q: dick
chatty:
- a: (up|down)vote
- a: agreed?
- a: love\W?this
abusive:
- q: \barse(hole)?\b
- a: \barse(hole)?\b
experimental(@mith):
- q: i\Wwould\Wbe
obsolete:
- a: (edited|fixed)
- q: (edited|fixed)
@Cascabel If that's what OP meant, he would have typed it. You were able to do so in a comment fairly easily. But instead, OP chose to ask how to refuse to discuss it with white people, explicitly. Well-meaning, informed, etc are words that OP never used, and you are inserting as a defense. I don't know why we are pretending OP meant "well-meaning, less informed people" when he chose the words "ignorant while people". Why are we not using the words in the question? — Clay07g 47 secs ago
#13076 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by baldPrussian (11169 rep)
Never mind then. I clarified, and even that was a reach for being appropriate in comments. I'm sure a mod will be along to enforce that, and in the meantime, you probably want to stop trying to make points about the question on everyone's answers. — Cascabel 45 secs ago
#13076 Cascabel (391 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by baldPrussian (11169 rep)
7:27 PM
#2776 Obie 2.0 (275 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 0) | posted 2 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 36 seconds ago by sphennings (5130 rep)
Anyway, my opinion would be that it’s a little Not Nice, but not to the extent that it needs edits, downvotes, deletion, whatever. — Obie 2.0 20 secs ago
#2776 Obie 2.0 (275 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 0) | posted 3 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 52 seconds ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
#2776 Clay07g (1146 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 0) | posted 3 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 52 seconds ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
@Obie2.0 Sounds like you have a little tolerance then. The policy, however, has zero tolerance. — Clay07g 9 secs ago
#2776 Clay07g (1146 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 0) | posted 4 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
Thanks very much for your answer (I wish I could upvote it several times more). Sending you virtual hugs from over here :). Thanks for not being overly defensive and willing to listen/learn. Clearly, you have walked a path off the beaten trail that few have cared/dared to. For what it's worth, I'll have no problems whatsoever, dicsussing issues of race with someone who has made the effort to educate themselves, and is willing to listen and learn - as you clearly have! — u_r_grounded 27 secs ago
#13079 u_r_grounded (39 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 5) | posted 50 minutes ago by Monica Cellio (11035 rep)
#2770 Daniel (2515 rep) | Q: Voting on meta-questions (score: 6) | posted 10 hours ago by Daniel (2515 rep)
I'd say "strange customs" is accurate :) But its worth noting that I've witnessed these voting patterns on many other SE platforms. Its very common on Scifi.se where I have spent the majority of my meta participation, for example. — Beofett 20 secs ago
#2770 Beofett (4276 rep) | Q: Voting on meta-questions (score: 6) | posted 10 hours ago by Daniel (2515 rep)
Being thankful one doesn't live in the U.S. doesn't mean that their necessarily thankful because they think the US is not a friendly place based on race. You can infer that, but since it is not stated, it is, at the very worst, borderline. If you choose to interpret it as a "dig at an entire country", then you probably need more to back it up than inference. — Beofett 51 secs ago
#2776 Beofett (4276 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: -5) | posted 15 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 8 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
7:42 PM
#13067 Davor (101 rep) | A: How can I be more persuasive when assuring people that I am perfectly fine and healthy? (score: 17) | posted 7 hours ago by Link0352 (1796 rep)
Defensive? Maybe. Deflective? No, there is nothing to deflect. I am happy to address any issue you ever feel I have deflected. His proposition was both calm and measured, I agree, but also bigoted. I apologize if my disagreements frustrate people. I can't help that, and it is certainly not food for thought. — Clay07g 1 min ago
#2777 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 6 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
#2776 Beofett (4276 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: -5) | posted 18 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 11 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
Can you clarify where you find that I am intending to preserve the alienation of other races? Can you also clarify where I am attempting to prevent OP from sharing any and all unpleasant experiences they may have had? I am simply trying to get bigoted statements removed. I really don't care which races are involved. — Clay07g 6 secs ago
#2778 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 4 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
So I asked you to consider that you might have been deflective, and you've responded to that by... uh... deflecting it. — ArtOfCode 31 secs ago
#2777 ArtOfCode (2037 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 8 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
@Clay07g You may note that I never said anything about intent. This is about effects. You are proposing disallowing descriptions of the OP's experience (like the ones you've noted), and that leads directly to alienating the OP and people of color in general. Again, these are statements of experience, not bigotry. — Cascabel 1 min ago
#2778 Cascabel (391 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 4) | posted 8 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
#13071 Richard U (7052 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 4) | posted 5 hours ago by u_r_grounded (54 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by sphennings (5140 rep)
@baldPrussian - with the greatest respect, I think you may have misunderstood the source of my angst. I'll give you an analogy as to WHY people like me get uncomfortable and would RATHER NOT discuss issues of racism with white people: (Typically), a man will have no problems LOGICALLY discussing the pros and cons of prostitution - whereas most women would have a VERY EMOTIONAL and VISCERAL REACTION to the topic. The man may inadvertently make crass statements, and he can walk away and forget the whole discussion, whereas the woman may feel emotionally drained after the discussion. — u_r_grounded 1 min ago
#13076 u_r_grounded (54 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by baldPrussian (11169 rep)
I simply disagree. I'm not sure how to be any more direct than that, I'm afraid. I didn't change the subject, nor did I bring anything unrelated, which is what "being deflective" means. So I honestly have no idea how you are coming to that conclusion. — Clay07g 45 secs ago
#2777 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 12 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
#13071 Em C (6035 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 4) | posted 5 hours ago by u_r_grounded (54 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by sphennings (5140 rep)
Introducing unrelated subjects would more commonly be called "changing the topic", @Clay07g. Taking a point and saying "I don't need to respond to that point because its very basis is flawed", however... now that's being deflective. Kinda like telling someone who's asking you to consider whether you're being deflective that "there's nothing to deflect". — ArtOfCode 37 secs ago
#2777 ArtOfCode (2037 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 15 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
7:53 PM
#10342 sgroves (101 rep) | Q: How to establish boundaries with a neighbour who breaches basic privacy? (score: 9) | posted 61 days ago by vivasra (51 rep) | edited 57 days ago by vivasra (51 rep) | Has magic comment
#2777 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 18 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
@u_r_grounded. thanks! I'm not clear on this; please accept my apologies. Would my proposed answer not work for you? If it it won't, I'm more than happy to edit in a way that would work in your case. I'm proceeding from the point of "OP would rather not talk about this; how does he/she communicate that gracefully?" If I've missed the mark (and that's possible), clarifying how would help me improve my answer. — baldPrussian 38 secs ago
#13076 baldPrussian (11169 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by baldPrussian (11169 rep)
#2730 Richard U (7053 rep) | Q: Why is the following statement about men not rude? (score: 1) | posted 4 days ago by Oleg (251 rep)
@RichardU you have edit rights ;) u_r_grounded, are you willing to clarify where you are from, instead of where you don't live? — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#13071 Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 5) | posted 5 hours ago by u_r_grounded (59 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by sphennings (5140 rep)
#2777 Richard U (7053 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 22 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
@Clay07g Put simply: this and the other answer point out that the OP sharing the context of their opinion is not bigotry. Your response to that was to... talk about your disagreement, how you can't help that, and that there's nothing to deflect. At no point have you addressed how you believe someone saying that sometimes (not always; note the use of the word "can" in the original quote) white people can be defensive when racism comes up is "bigoted". Quite frankly, it seems like you think the word "bigotry" means "any conversation where someone brings up race". — Beofett 1 min ago
#2777 Beofett (4276 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 22 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
You make a fair point about that specific sentence. His conclusion on his experience is what it is, wrong or right, whatever. But please, let's separate the race and situation from OP's question into it's basic format. "How to you prevent [race of people] from talking to me about [subject]?" -- That is what OP is asking. I find that question inflammatory, regardless of race or subject. Do you disagree? — Clay07g 1 min ago
#2778 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 5) | posted 19 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
"Not the US" is the only part that tells us anything about where the OP is - by telling us where he's not. I can understand removing "thankfully" but "not the US" is an important detail. — Catija ♦ 2 mins ago
#2779 Catija (11190 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 3 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
#2779 Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 3) | posted 4 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
@RichardU You're stating a subjective interpretation as objective fact. I think "the USA has a problem with racism" is an equally valid interpretation of that comment, which I do not feel is the same as "the entire USA is racist". — Beofett 10 secs ago
#2777 Beofett (4276 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 25 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
@Clay07g I suggest you read the question again. They're asking "how do I reject requests to talk about race?", not "how do I prevent people from asking me about race". That's a pretty big difference. — sphennings 51 secs ago
#2778 sphennings (5140 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 6) | posted 21 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
8:02 PM
@Tinkeringbell I find it more productive to suggest edits to a person rather than do it myself. It prevents edit wars. It's also a bit more courteous to the poster than simply going in and changing things. — Richard U 6 secs ago
#13071 Richard U (7052 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 6) | posted 5 hours ago by u_r_grounded (64 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by sphennings (5140 rep)
@Davor calorie restriction is not the same thing as consuming less food than your peers because you have a lower resting metabolic rate. if you are sustaining your body weight with your diet, then you are not under your RMR, otherwise you would lose weight. — Link0352 44 secs ago
#13067 Link0352 (1796 rep) | A: How can I be more persuasive when assuring people that I am perfectly fine and healthy? (score: 17) | posted 7 hours ago by Link0352 (1796 rep)
@Beofett he makes a point of being black and then immediately says he's thankful for not being in the US. How would you interpret that? — Richard U 8 secs ago
#2777 Richard U (7053 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 28 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
#2777 Richard U (7053 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 28 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
@Tinkeringbell Well, I AM glad that I don't live in the US - it shouldn't be necessary why this is the case, but it looks like I'll have to spell it out. The US history and it's peculiar institutions are quite unique, and it has informed race relations up to this very day. I don't think I could live in a country where there are people who actively celebrate the Confederacy. I live in Europe, where things are more civilised, but still have to contend with ignorance regularly. — u_r_grounded 1 min ago
#13071 u_r_grounded (64 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 6) | posted 5 hours ago by u_r_grounded (64 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
@Beofett People often use the phrase "can be" to describe common stereotypes about pretty much every race. It's a useless phrase, and certainly not ever used literally, since pretty much everyone "can be" something. Therefore, the phrase "[race] can be [y]" is always, universally true. So why say it? Because it has implications. Bad ones. Bigotry is almost never outright said. It's implied. — Clay07g 21 secs ago
#2777 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 29 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
Sure, maybe the title could be revised to make it even clearer that the OP is not expressing bigotry, but simply unwillingness to spend significant time and energy on educating others in this regard. Perhaps "How do I politely decline to educate others about racism/race issues?" But I would like to stress that I see this about clarity, not about protecting white people from something that's not actually bigotry. — Cascabel 28 secs ago
#2778 Cascabel (391 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 6) | posted 25 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
#2776 Richard U (7053 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: -4) | posted 41 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 35 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
If it's about clarity, that's fine. Let's be absolutely clear here, and not subconsciously attribute things to race when that's not what we really mean. Perhaps this is something OP should do, otherwise people may not analyze it enough to see that he is not actually trying to avoid all white people in regard to a particular subject discussion, which is what the question at least somewhat implies. — Clay07g 41 secs ago
#2778 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 6) | posted 29 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
@Richard U that might be a valid comparison if the US was a "white country". I'm assuming by "Muslim country" you mean one where the official religion is Islam, in which case it is an invalid comparison. As for how I would interpret it, I believe I just stated that quite clearly. — Beofett 44 secs ago
#2777 Beofett (4276 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 33 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
#2777 Beofett (4276 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 34 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
#2776 Clay07g (1146 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: -4) | posted 47 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 40 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
@RichardU You're coming across as suggesting that black people shouldn't be allowed to say that the US is an unpleasant place for black people, because it will make (non-black) US residents uncomfortable, which... is not a good look, let's say. — Cascabel 33 secs ago
#2777 Cascabel (391 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 35 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
@baldPrussian No need to apologize! :) We're all here to learn. I merely pointed out that I would rather not discuss it at all, since it is emotionally draining for me (and the vast majority of Black people I know). Unless of course, said white Person is someone you have a deep, meaningful relationship with - and is willing to listen and learn (not an easy thing to do - understandably). — u_r_grounded 18 secs ago
#13076 u_r_grounded (69 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 1) | posted 2 hours ago by baldPrussian (11179 rep)
#2777 Richard U (7053 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 38 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
#2776 Beofett (4276 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: -4) | posted 50 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 43 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
8:15 PM
This post is being discussed on meta: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/2780/… — apaul 41 secs ago
#13078 apaul (32738 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -3) | posted 2 hours ago by apaul (32738 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Catija (11190 rep)
#2777 Richard U (7053 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 39 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
Please leave in the location, that's useful as it gives context for your experiences. — Em C 50 secs ago
#13071 Em C (6035 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 7) | posted 5 hours ago by u_r_grounded (69 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Em C (6035 rep)
@u_r_grounded Can you please edit your question to reflect the sentiment you just described about people who are willing to listen and learn? — Clay07g 6 secs ago
#13079 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 9) | posted 1 hours ago by Monica Cellio (11075 rep)
#2777 Richard U (7053 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 42 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
#2777 Beofett (4276 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 42 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
#2776 Richard U (7053 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: -4) | posted 54 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 47 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
apaul, please tell me how pointing at other users' responses and calling them "crap" meets "be nice"... In any stretch of the imagination. — Catija ♦ 23 secs ago
#2780 Catija (11190 rep) | Q: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -2) | posted 6 minutes ago by apaul (32740 rep)
@RichardU OK, if knowing the difference between subjective and objective is a word game . . — Beofett 49 secs ago
#2777 Beofett (4276 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 44 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
If I may be so bold to interject into your conversation, the reason why I added the "(thankfully, not the US)" statement is that the history of the US and it's peculiar institutions is unique and informs present day race relations - no matter how uncomfortable that makes white US citizens feel. Additionally, I could not possibly imagine living in a country where sections of the population [actively celebrate the conederacy]9https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confederate_Memorial_Day) You cans ee how that makes a black person feel uncomftble. — u_r_grounded 33 secs ago
#2777 u_r_grounded (69 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 45 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
#2780 apaul (32740 rep) | Q: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -2) | posted 11 minutes ago by apaul (32740 rep)
@Beofett No, word games is implying racism on my part, and implying a lack of understanding of basic reasoning on my part. In other words, you are being rude in the extreme. — Richard U 24 secs ago
#2777 Richard U (7053 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 48 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
@Beofett The "beta" aspect plays a really critical role in understanding that this site is more likely to be in flux than any other site. A site that is out of beta will still experience shifts, yes, but not radical undertakings on what is in/out of scope (whereas a beta site is much more likely to do so). But I think we're still all in agreement here. :) — Jess K. 1 min ago
#2729 Jess K. (11215 rep) | A: Everybody understands the answer - but moderators complain - why? (score: 6) | posted 4 days ago by (deleted user) | edited 4 days ago by (deleted user)
#2777 Richard U (7053 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 48 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
What I think is irrelevant. What you think is irrelevant. You don't get to say it. — Catija ♦ 34 secs ago
#2780 Catija (11190 rep) | Q: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -2) | posted 12 minutes ago by apaul (32740 rep)
#2776 Clay07g (1146 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 55 minutes ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
@RichardU Please, this is not about you, take a seat. I am saying (quite rightfully), that I (and pretty much all of the black people I know living in my country), feel sorry for African Americans - their history and their continuing marginalisation, brutalisation and "othering" by a country that likes to "show the world that it is the land of the free and brave". Obama was just a puppet - everyone who has eyes knows that, but I digress. I meant what I said, in that even though things are annoying here, if I was in the us, I could actually be talking with a Confederacy supporter. — u_r_grounded 21 secs ago
#2777 u_r_grounded (69 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 51 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
@u_r_grounded we have a "be nice" policy on SE you may want to look up, and I will not take a seat to anyone. — Richard U 21 secs ago
#2777 Richard U (7053 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 52 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
While we are a bit more lenient with what comments are for on meta than on main. This has nothing to do with the answer that was posted. If you two want to continue this conversation I suggest opening a chat room. Otherwise please Drop it. — sphennings just now
#2777 sphennings (5140 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 2) | posted 53 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
@RichardU You can of course do as you like, but I would like to suggest that you take at least a short break - I know that you are just trying to be fair here, but you're saying things that come across very poorly to some people, to the point of contributing to the sort of alienation that Be Nice aims to prevent. — Cascabel 57 secs ago
#2777 Cascabel (391 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 3) | posted 54 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
@Clay07g Let's not get carried away, and clarify the question so far that it distorts the OP's description of their experience. As noted in the last paragraph, white people do need to be strong enough to hear about their role in making things difficult for a person, even if it's not all white people, and even if non-white people contribute as well. — Cascabel 12 secs ago
#2778 Cascabel (391 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 8) | posted 51 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 25 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
@apaul I agree with you that the OP got a lot of needless, "crap" comments. Let's assume for a second that our interpretation of that situation is unilaterally true. Even so, calling it out in your answer is not productive. Answers are for answering the question and nothing else. — Rainbacon 27 secs ago
#2780 Rainbacon (1338 rep) | Q: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -3) | posted 18 minutes ago by apaul (32740 rep)
@Cascabel Who are these "some people" who are you speaking for? ANSWER: NOBODY. You are trying to paint me as racist and it is a BS claim. Knock it off. — Richard U 30 secs ago
#2777 Richard U (7053 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 3) | posted 56 minutes ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
I accept this answer. I still think the question could be edited as it is simply inflammatory. But that's my opinion. What is fact, however, is that the OP of the question wants to reject requests from people based on their skin color, and in another comment says that they are more concerned with people who are uninformed, bigoted, or simply ignorant. If the question was edited to reflect the sentiment from that comment, I would find the question completely fine, even if it included OP's experience in which only white people have acted that way towards him, which I would believe. — Clay07g 6 secs ago
#2779 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 4) | posted 37 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
@Catija I agrre with you on this. Removing the "Not the US" does feel like censourship of some sort - just so that it does not offend the sensibilities of some white US citizens who would rather everyone forgot about that part of American history. I added that part specifcally because this is very much the view of the vast majority of ortdinary Black people in Europe. — u_r_grounded 50 secs ago
#2779 u_r_grounded (69 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 4) | posted 38 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
I think that it was absolutely relevant to the question and answer. A user asked a question about how to deal with the aggravation caused by a behavior, and got an abundance of the exact sort of behavior that they were frustrated with as a response. Perhaps "crap" wasn't the best word to use, but it seemed appropriate and much softer than my first thoughts... — apaul 1 min ago
#2781 apaul (32740 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 6) | posted 14 minutes ago by sphennings (5140 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by sphennings (5140 rep)
Thank you Cascabel. There seems to be a concerted effort to silence me. I expect it, so I am not that surprised. — u_r_grounded 1 min ago
#2778 u_r_grounded (69 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 8) | posted 57 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 31 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
I'm curious to hear explanations on the down-votes. Have people not read site usage guides? — Physics-Compute 33 secs ago
#2769 Physics-Compute (214 rep) | A: Are issues of "political correctness" appropriate for the site? (score: -5) | posted 20 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep)
@apaul I sympathize with your frustration with that question. I was pretty frustrated with it myself. That was not a good first exposure to IPS. — sphennings 51 secs ago
#2781 sphennings (5140 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 6) | posted 18 minutes ago by sphennings (5140 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by sphennings (5140 rep)
8:42 PM
@Clay07g look up my original question. It was in there, I had to delete it (the portion that requested online resources, so that I can be sure that when I'm engaging with a white person on this matter, they at least, know the lay of the land). — u_r_grounded 1 min ago
#13079 u_r_grounded (89 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 12) | posted 2 hours ago by Monica Cellio (11105 rep)
@u_r_grounded Can you cite that it's the view of black people in Europe or otherwise show that you speak for all of them? I'm also a little curious as to how the phrase "not the US" reminds you of a more racist history, since it's pretty similar to most European countries in that regard. — Clay07g 48 secs ago
#2779 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 5) | posted 48 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | edited 14 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
@u_r_grounded Either "(not the US)" or "(Europe)" is fine with me... some indication of where you are is helpful. I think that it's valuable for it to be pointed out that you're not in the US, where tensions are very high right now due to what's been going on in the news and historically. — Catija ♦ 22 secs ago
#2779 Catija (11190 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 5) | posted 51 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | edited 17 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
@Cascabel I don't mind hearing about how I played a role in any such event. However, I will not take it seriously. I can't play a role in an event that happened in another country in which I've never been. I certainly don't believe such nonsense belongs on this Exchange. — Clay07g 31 secs ago
#2778 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 9) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 40 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
@HDE226868 If it happens to be verifiably true (ex: calling a group of people with a specific disorder, a group of X disorder) then I don't see how a true statement is not nice. That aside, my comments did NOT say someone(s) has a mental disorder, but rather there are opinions on both sides and one side holds the opinion that it's a mental disorder to illustrate that if you're coming from the other opinion, that answer is not helpful. Stating that Nazis believe Jews are inferior is not a "not nice" statement, it's just stating a fact that that's what they believe. Please note the difference. — Physics-Compute 40 secs ago
#2769 Physics-Compute (214 rep) | A: Are issues of "political correctness" appropriate for the site? (score: -5) | posted 20 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep)
Just because someone else is doing something wrong does not excuse doing something wrong yourself. There are other ways of showing solidarity besides not being nice. — sphennings 32 secs ago
#2782 sphennings (5150 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -1) | posted 3 minutes ago by hvd (101 rep)
#2782 hvd (101 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -2) | posted 5 minutes ago by hvd (101 rep)
On meta (where rep is not affected), votes on answers indicate agreement or disagreement. This is standard for StackExchange sites. — Em C 32 secs ago
#2769 Em C (6035 rep) | A: Are issues of "political correctness" appropriate for the site? (score: -5) | posted 20 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep)
@RichardU you're arguing "imagine if we changed the context, swapped words, and then compared phrases", but I'm playing word games? OK. Where have I said anything implying you're racist? The lengths you are going to to justify your indignation are incredibly ironic in the context of the OPs question, and when you insist on putting words on my mouth, call me "deliberately obtuse", accuse me of "playing word games" and implying you are racist, clearly you have a very different definition of "rude". — Beofett 29 secs ago
#2777 Beofett (4276 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 4) | posted 1 hours ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
I don't understand the downvotes to this question. If you replaced "white person" with pretty much any other alternative, the original question would immediately be closed for being racist. — BlueRaja - Danny Pflughoeft 8 secs ago
#2776 BlueRaja - Danny Pflughoeft (101 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: -5) | posted 1 hours ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
#2781 BlackThorn (1767 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 5) | posted 29 minutes ago by sphennings (5150 rep) | edited 18 minutes ago by sphennings (5150 rep)
#2777 Catija (11190 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 4) | posted 1 hours ago by ArtOfCode (2037 rep)
#2778 Cascabel (391 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 50 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
#2778 Cascabel (391 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 53 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
@u_r_grounded I haven't seen anyone who wants to silence you. I just don't think we should be helping you filter out your interpersonal communications based on skin color. You said you don't either. So why not just edit it out of your question? And make it a more general question about how to not engage with people who don't want to make the effort to listen and learn? That's what you said your goal was. That's what the answers say. But yet the question simply paints a different picture that you can easily fix. — Clay07g 17 secs ago
#2778 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 54 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
@Cascabel I have said this a few times: I am not concerned with OP's stories, nor their content. I am simply concerned with the conclusion that was drawn upon the stories, which then were made into a pointed question/rant about an entire global race of people. It is very much possible to express one's experiences with another race/group and then make a more accurate conclusion. — Clay07g 1 min ago
#2778 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 59 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
@Clay07g You only posted this after mods shut down comments on the question. You are demanding a "zero tolerance policy" on their post. I'm not saying that your intention is to silence them but your actions can certainly be viewed as attempting to do so. — sphennings 1 min ago
#2778 sphennings (5150 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 59 minutes ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
@sphennings I know what it seems like. That was honestly coincidental. I only had the idea to make this thread after the mods re-opened OP's question, which also happened to be at the same time comments were shut down. I was almost certain it was going to be closed, since it had several flags, and roughly 5 requests for closure. I am not demanding anything. My opinion is that the rule should be applied. I am simply asking why it is not. — Clay07g 26 secs ago
#2778 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
@Clay07g They have accurately described their experiences. They're not good, no. But it's their experience, their life. We are not in a position to tell them that they're not allowed to do so because some white people might think it means that every last one of them is equally bad. — Cascabel 45 secs ago
#2778 Cascabel (391 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
@Clay07g The mods didn't reopen the question 5 members of the community voted to reopen the question. — sphennings 58 secs ago
#2778 sphennings (5150 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
@Clay07g I'm curious did you flag the post for moderator attention? In general when you find someone doing something that is against site policy raising a mod flag is a good first step. — sphennings 52 secs ago
#2778 sphennings (5150 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
#2778 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
@sphennings Yes. Specifically for rudeness. I did not do so out of my opinion. I sincerely stacked it up against the "Be Nice" Policy and found that it was in violation. I'm asking why it's not. The answer I've accepted is that it can be fixed with relatively minor editing (though I see it won't be). — Clay07g 34 secs ago
#2778 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
#2778 Catija (11190 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
@Beofett I think you made a great point in your second comment ("can be" vs "is always"). As for your first comment about thankfulness about not living in the US, doesn't it seem rather likely that the person asking the question being discussed did in fact consider the country to be a worse place to live if you're black? (Especially given their edits/comments?) Anyway, wouldn't it have been more constructive and convincing to just point out that a statement about a country does not imply a judgment about all people in the US individually? — mtraceur 13 secs ago
#2776 mtraceur (101 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
@Catija The title of the question "How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues". Strip it down. The OP is specifically asking how to "deal with white people". How to reject engagements from.... white people. Filtering out conversations based on race is horrible. But that's not even the point. My point is that the question can easily exist without being a rant about white people. All it's really asking is how to refuse engagement about racial topics from people who aren't as well informed. Why can't it just be that? — Clay07g 28 secs ago
#2778 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
#2778 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
The fact that my comment got deleted is extremely telling of this community. Wow. — BlueRaja - Danny Pflughoeft 1 min ago
#2776 BlueRaja - Danny Pflughoeft (101 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
@sphennings Welcome to IPS, and unfortunately you'll have to get used to it. The mods here are more strict (read: insane) than on any other SE community I've seen (and most are pretty terrible, to be sure) — sgroves 5 secs ago
#2781 sgroves (101 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 8) | posted 58 minutes ago by sphennings (5150 rep) | edited 48 minutes ago by sphennings (5150 rep)
+1 I think this stackexchange would be a vastly more pleasant place to be if everyone remembered to universally apply this wisdom: "any attempt at toning it down may feel like you're forcing them to calm down, that their issue isn't that serious. That's especially hard if it's about a frustration where they were frequently told to calm down during those discussions (because that's what tonal arguments are)." — mtraceur 49 secs ago
#2779 mtraceur (101 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 5) | posted 1 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | edited 52 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
@u_r_grounded Including "Not in the US" isn't being discussed because anyone "wants to forget that part of American history", it's because that doesn't add to your question. You're asking "How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues"; does it really matter if you think America is the worst about it? If, in Europe, a Canadian and an American asked you the same question about race, would your response change? This Exchange requires more subjectivity than the rest so we try to stay objective where possible. — Lord Farquaad 53 secs ago
#2779 Lord Farquaad (1217 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 5) | posted 1 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | edited 52 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
#2776 Beofett (4276 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
#2776 Clay07g (1146 rep) | Q: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by Clay07g (1146 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Clay07g (1146 rep)
#2781 sphennings (5150 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 8) | posted 1 hours ago by sphennings (5150 rep) | edited 49 minutes ago by sphennings (5150 rep)
#2778 Clay07g (1146 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 9) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
Your question says nothing about the title. The two things you specifically call out in your question - the "Thankfully, not the US" and the claim that all people are X have been changed. The parenthetical phrase was removed and the statement about people has the caveat of "I have experienced" in front of it. Those are literally the two points in your question. — Catija ♦ 1 min ago
#2778 Catija (11190 rep) | A: How does this question not violate the "Be Nice" Policy? (score: 9) | posted 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Cascabel (391 rep)
#2781 sgroves (101 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 8) | posted 1 hours ago by sphennings (5150 rep) | edited 50 minutes ago by sphennings (5150 rep)
#2780 sgroves (101 rep) | Q: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -3) | posted 1 hours ago by apaul (32748 rep)
@sgroves Downvotes on meta can also be an expression of agreement or disagreement with the position espoused by the OP. — sphennings 52 secs ago
#2780 sphennings (5150 rep) | Q: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -5) | posted 1 hours ago by apaul (32748 rep)
#2783 Richard U (7052 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -4) | posted 24 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3791 rep)
@RichardU Which is why my answer (which mentions being nice) is doing so poorly. — sphennings 47 secs ago
#2783 sphennings (5150 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -4) | posted 25 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3791 rep)
9:31 PM
#13044 iheanyi (101 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 103) | posted 29 hours ago by Catija (11190 rep)
@sgroves On a question about being nice to other users, you... decide to be mean to the mods? How does that make any sense? — caird coinheringaahing 7 secs ago
#2781 caird coinheringaahing (213 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 9) | posted 1 hours ago by sphennings (5150 rep) | edited 59 minutes ago by sphennings (5150 rep)
#2783 Richard U (7052 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -3) | posted 30 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3791 rep)
I downvoted because this doesn't actually explain what violated "Be Nice" in the post in question, making it not very useful. Furthermore, you appear to be making a personal judgement about the OP in this answer: "you have to do a better job keeping your emotions in check" which, ironically, is itself not very nice. — Em C 1 min ago
#2783 Em C (6035 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -3) | posted 30 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3791 rep)
@RichardU it's not mentioned by name. OP has been around long enough that they should be aware of what I'm referring to when I say something is "not nice" I'll add a link to the policy to make it more obvious. — sphennings 7 secs ago
#2783 sphennings (5150 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -3) | posted 37 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3791 rep)
I've opted to roll back the edit in protest, and I'm happy to accept the resulting consequences. — apaul 58 secs ago
#13078 apaul (32785 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 1) | posted 3 hours ago by apaul (32785 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by apaul (32785 rep)
@sphennings and that's the difference. You didn't mention the policy, nor are you in the "out" group, so it makes all the difference — Richard U 15 secs ago
#2783 Richard U (7052 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -3) | posted 40 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3791 rep)
@apaul I was aware a huge discussion about this would happen. That does not mean that high reputation users like you or me need to be fanning the flames. — Magisch 39 secs ago
#2785 Magisch (7465 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 0) | posted 4 minutes ago by Magisch (7465 rep)
#2785 apaul (32783 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 0) | posted 4 minutes ago by Magisch (7465 rep)
#2785 apaul (32783 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 1) | posted 5 minutes ago by Magisch (7465 rep)
@RichardU We weren't talking in group vs. out group. I've added a link to the policy let's watch the downvotes begin to flow. — sphennings 35 secs ago
#2783 sphennings (5150 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -3) | posted 44 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3791 rep)
9:50 PM
I think this violates our Be Nice policy, but I'm not entirely sure. — the dark wanderer 57 secs ago
#13081 the dark wanderer (101 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 9 minutes ago by A.Dice (17 rep)
This is not an answer to the question because it requires the OP to change his opinion about (white) people. It also presumes the OP thinks the majority of white people is racist, but that is nowhere in the question. — GretchenV 45 secs ago
#13081 GretchenV (261 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 10 minutes ago by A.Dice (17 rep)
" No one that I saw was saying "staring is rude" and "men stare; men are creeps"" __ thanks for the insight @Beofett. It may be a cultural difference: in India women often say both these statements together about men! — English Student 22 secs ago
#2730 English Student (7637 rep) | Q: Why is the following statement about men not rude? (score: 1) | posted 4 days ago by Oleg (251 rep)
@apaul I would submit that an answer is the wrong place to take a stand on the state of this community. You're not helping by not abiding the community guidelines. Other people will think "If even the top user doesn't, why should I?" We're still all in this together first and foremost to create high quality useful Q/A and not to make opinions known as loud and grand as possible. — Magisch 1 min ago
#2785 Magisch (7465 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 3) | posted 10 minutes ago by Magisch (7465 rep)
@EnglishStudent To clarify, I've seen/heard people say that outside of India... but not here, on this site. — Beofett 15 secs ago
#2730 Beofett (4276 rep) | Q: Why is the following statement about men not rude? (score: 1) | posted 4 days ago by Oleg (251 rep)
That makes it clear @Beofett. The members at IPS are generally sophisticated enough to avoid such sweeping generalizations based on gender or any other group trait. — English Student 1 min ago
#2730 English Student (7637 rep) | Q: Why is the following statement about men not rude? (score: 1) | posted 4 days ago by Oleg (251 rep)
"I do understand, however, that a few white people do really want to understand and be part of the solution" - From his question. This assumes most white people are part of the problem. My advice is to simply not engage in the conversation. — A.Dice 55 secs ago
#13081 A.Dice (17 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 17 minutes ago by A.Dice (17 rep)
10:06 PM
#2783 Richard U (7052 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3791 rep)
#2783 sphennings (5150 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3791 rep)
@A.Dice You are making the assumption that the OP thinks anyone who is not part of the solution is part of the problem. I do not see that in the question. Furthermore, you are making the assumption that the OP thinks anyone who does not specifically want to be part of the solution cannot be part of the solution. I do not see that anywhere in the question either. — hvd 31 secs ago
#13081 hvd (101 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -3) | posted 34 minutes ago by A.Dice (23 rep)
#13081 sphennings (5149 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -5) | posted 39 minutes ago by A.Dice (19 rep)
10:22 PM
#2786 Richard U (7052 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -1) | posted 18 minutes ago by Richard U (7052 rep)
#2783 Richard U (7052 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3791 rep)
#13081 A.Dice (19 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -5) | posted 42 minutes ago by A.Dice (19 rep)
@sphennings please don't use the comments section of my answer - or for any answer, really - to stir the pot. If you have a personal grievance with someone on this site, you may use the Contact Us form, listed below every page of the network, or talk to a mod in chat. You've been around long enough now to know this. Please stop it. — D.Hutchinson 22 secs ago
#2783 D.Hutchinson (3791 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3791 rep)
#13082 A.Dice (19 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: 0) | posted 53 seconds ago by A.Dice (19 rep)
#13082 Ash (466 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: 0) | posted 3 minutes ago by A.Dice (19 rep)
#13082 A.Dice (17 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: -1) | posted 6 minutes ago by A.Dice (17 rep)
@A.Dice I appreciate you feel frustrated by things like this, but that doesn't really clarify your question. Are you looking for help on how you can approach people saying these sorts of things to you about your views? Or how to have constructive political dialogue? What precisely do you want us to do to help you with interpersonal skills, here? — Ash 59 secs ago
#13082 Ash (466 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: -4) | posted 9 minutes ago by A.Dice (1 rep)
This seems highly specific to the group you are experiencing this behavior in. Without detailed information about the group in question we will be unable to provide meaningful information about why this behavior occurs. — sphennings 1 min ago
#13082 sphennings (5150 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: -4) | posted 9 minutes ago by A.Dice (1 rep)
10:38 PM
Upvoted - I, too, come back to Stack Exchange because it's different from the rest -- and ultimately better. A better experience, and a better use of time. + 1 👍 — D.Hutchinson 1 min ago
#2786 D.Hutchinson (3791 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 1) | posted 34 minutes ago by Richard U (7052 rep)
I think this is a good question, and IPS related, if it could be a little more focused to communication skill. Right now it's got a little too much fist-shaking at the sky. — kbelder 32 secs ago
#13082 kbelder (111 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: -4) | posted 10 minutes ago by A.Dice (1 rep)
#13082 A.Dice (1 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: -5) | posted 16 minutes ago by A.Dice (1 rep)
Is this about the answer you posted to another question on this site getting deleted? — hvd 54 secs ago
#13082 hvd (101 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: -5) | posted 17 minutes ago by A.Dice (1 rep)
As stated in the question, I didn't have a problem with other answers or answerers (at the time of writing it). Also not sure how it's not an apology? — apaul 56 secs ago
#2787 apaul (32783 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 2) | posted 4 minutes ago by Jon Ericson (239 rep)
#13082 Pheo (101 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: -5) | posted 18 minutes ago by A.Dice (1 rep)
@Pheo I do not understand your comment. I cannot tell if you meant that as a threat, an insult to me, an insult to the OP, or something else entirely. — hvd 43 secs ago
#13082 hvd (101 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: -5) | posted 21 minutes ago by A.Dice (1 rep)
If this is about posts on this site. IPS isn't the place to ask this. It should be taken up on that site's meta. — sphennings 44 secs ago
#13082 sphennings (5150 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: -5) | posted 22 minutes ago by A.Dice (1 rep)
#13082 Pheo (101 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: -5) | posted 25 minutes ago by A.Dice (1 rep)
10:54 PM
@apaul: The fauxpology is an easy mistake to make. I'm pretty sure I made it a few minutes ago in an unrelated context. To me at least, this comes off as a rhetorical strategy rather than anything heartfelt. Insisting that it remain reinforces that impression. — Jon Ericson ♦ 38 secs ago
#2787 Jon Ericson (239 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 2) | posted 13 minutes ago by Jon Ericson (239 rep)
Basically I'm at a point where I'm tired of people trying to equate "Sorry that people said crappy things to you" or even "stop saying crappy things" with actually saying crappy things. If SE wants to make these things morally equivalent, or just equally "not nice" then I probably don't belong here and I'll gladly take a timeout in the penalty box for saying so. — apaul 21 secs ago
#2787 apaul (32786 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 3) | posted 16 minutes ago by Jon Ericson (239 rep)
#2787 apaul (32786 rep) | A: What's wrong with apologizing? (score: 3) | posted 16 minutes ago by Jon Ericson (239 rep)
#13082 hvd (101 rep) | Q: Unpopular opinions that violate political correctness (score: -5) | posted 30 minutes ago by A.Dice (1 rep)
« first day (250 days earlier) ← previous day next day → last day (1225 days later) »
