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8:06 PM
#12014 Kendra (1651 rep) | A: Winning too many games at game night - how can I keep it fun for everyone? (score: 15) | posted 28 hours ago by Galastel (433 rep)
Generally speaking, we don't like "cross-posting" inside the network. It fragments answers and breaks up the knowledge. I'd pick whichever site you think will give you the best answer to your problem, or the type of answer you're more looking for (this seems pretty IPS to me, but that's at a skim) and delete the other. — Kendra 39 secs ago
#12079 Kendra (1651 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 0) | posted 2 minutes ago by MCP_infiltrator (101 rep)
@baldPrussian : even given my explanation for doing so? Of course, the ultimate goal is to not have the speakers A interrupted. — arrowturnips 1 min ago
#12072 arrowturnips (13 rep) | Q: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by arrowturnips (13 rep)
As to your question (from a full read), we don't really do "am I right/wrong" questions. We focus on how to help you with interpersonal skills. For example, your question would be a better fit here if it were along the lines of, "How can I approach this discussion with my wife so that we can sort this out once and for all?" (Which, honestly, seems like the better question to ask here anyway. I have a potential answer that would focus on that, but right now I feel like this question is off-topic for the site.) Give us what you want to accomplish in the scenario, not what you want an opinion on. — Kendra 1 min ago
#12079 Kendra (1651 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 0) | posted 7 minutes ago by MCP_infiltrator (101 rep)
Can't argue with experience, but this definitely strikes me the wrong way. The implication seems to be that you have to be ignorant to be non-vegan. — Matthew Read 1 min ago
#11775 Matthew Read (101 rep) | A: How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me? (score: 6) | posted 5 days ago by user3306356 (465 rep)
There is a big difference between asking for help or working with someone to learn how to do a problem and outright sharing the answers or doing the work for them. Are you sure your friends won't see the difference? — syntonicC 39 secs ago
#12043 syntonicC (231 rep) | Q: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 18) | posted 11 hours ago by user8979192 (91 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Kendra (1651 rep)
@arrowturnips If you're not the speaker, this issue doesn't involve you. Part of interpersonal skills is knowing when to stay out. When you become the speaker, you need to find a way to keep your presentation going without interruption. Your desire to embarrass person B is called "revenge". I assure you that embarrassing people while you or anyone gives a speech will SEVERELY distract the audience, wayyy more than a small interruption. If that's worth your revenge, then you're not really here to find a solution, but rather validation, and you won't find it here. (Top answer is a solution) — Clay07g 26 secs ago
#12072 Clay07g (1141 rep) | Q: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 0) | posted 3 hours ago by arrowturnips (13 rep)
Yes, she needs some measure of freedom or she is going to resent you. But it should be equal. meaning you should also get a personal account with the same amount of money each month. I would also say that on the common accounts you should be just as accountable to her as she is to you. It sounds like you are in charge of the money. my wife and I both have join accounts but in the budget we each get a set amount of money each month that we can spend on whatever we want. BTW if you don't have a budget you need to start doing one, for so many reasons. — Dan Anderson 1 min ago
#12079 Dan Anderson (6212 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 2) | posted 25 minutes ago by MCP_infiltrator (111 rep)
Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — sphennings 24 secs ago
#12079 sphennings (4877 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 2) | posted 26 minutes ago by MCP_infiltrator (111 rep)
I suppose that I am a "stickler for honesty" so biased comment here, but I find that most people respond better to honest compliments. and indeed I find most people give honest compliments. While compliments are part of the social routine, I find that they actually do have real meaning and real impart. — Dan Anderson 38 secs ago
#12005 Dan Anderson (6211 rep) | A: How can I respond to well-meaning comments at the gym? (score: 2) | posted 41 hours ago by English Student (7515 rep) | edited 40 hours ago by English Student (7515 rep)
These are good suggestions. But I would like to address what I think is the main point more directly: it is not proper behavior to start a poll among the audience whether they find the presentation to be of interest at the very moment. The most direct thing would be to say just that, either as A or as part of C. But I think that would be too disruptive. Merely playing along as part of C seems to validate B's behavior (?). Despite more subtle hints, B has persisted with his polling. I would like to hammer home the point and not cause too much drama. — arrowturnips 1 min ago
#12073 arrowturnips (13 rep) | A: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 4) | posted 2 hours ago by baldPrussian (9205 rep)
#11984 yo' (422 rep) | A: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: -1) | posted 59 hours ago by Peter (830 rep)
@Clay07g : if I'm part of the audience (which is the case if I'm not A) I am still involved because I am being polled. Not saying anything as an audience member seems to give undue validity to B's behavior while making A uncomfortable, which is exactly the opposite of what seems to be right to me. — arrowturnips 1 min ago
#12072 arrowturnips (13 rep) | Q: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 0) | posted 3 hours ago by arrowturnips (13 rep)
9:00 PM
#2630 gparyani (165 rep) | A: Should the "women" tag be changed to something more age-neutral? (score: 16) | posted 4 days ago by Catija (10236 rep)
I think this will address your question. B starts a poll, and you respond "we'll come to questions at the end". If he persists, then "let's not waste time on background". If he still persists, "Do I have your permission to continue?" It's not embarrassing but sends the message that you want to continue without this poll. Edit note: added last line for participant in small session. — baldPrussian 17 secs ago
#12073 baldPrussian (9205 rep) | A: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 4) | posted 3 hours ago by baldPrussian (9205 rep) | edited 43 seconds ago by baldPrussian (9205 rep)
I see, I must have misread that part. Was already wondering why it got downvoted. I think I just leave it here, so someone with a similar question can use it. — Peter 8 secs ago
#11984 Peter (830 rep) | A: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: -1) | posted 59 hours ago by Peter (830 rep)
I would say approaching this as a member of C rather than as an A is a different enough situation as to warrant a different question, but that's only my opinion. At the same time, I do have to agree that "embarrassment for B" is an incredibly poor social skill, and will actually make you out to be rude/the jerk in the situation. Right now, baldPrussian's answer is spot on for if you're an A, but I think answers for members of C will be different enough that you shouldn't ask for them in this question. (And most may well be, "Don't do that, let the A handle it." style answers...) — Kendra 16 secs ago
#12072 Kendra (1651 rep) | Q: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 0) | posted 3 hours ago by arrowturnips (13 rep)
I don't think this works. I think saying "questions later, please" when B is asking everyone but A becomes strange. Also, if someone in the audience actually answers the poll it makes A uncomfortable in a very underhanded way. There is no space between B's poll request and the expectation of C to answer. What happens now is rather [poll request by B] [awkward silence, one or two answers from C] [A goes on] — arrowturnips 26 secs ago
#12073 arrowturnips (13 rep) | A: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 5) | posted 3 hours ago by baldPrussian (9215 rep) | edited 10 minutes ago by baldPrussian (9215 rep)
+1 for pointing out 1) the designed dopamine addiction cycle, 2) complete cutoff is required, 3) providing alternatives, and 3) Phase 2 rewards/options. It may be worth looking for a possible underlying cause -- why did she start playing the game? What is she compensating for? This MAY require real psychological intervention, which is absolutely worth the time and money if she needs the help. If she is addicted in this way and to this level, please realize that it's not your fault. Talk to her. — jvriesem 25 secs ago
#11864 jvriesem (101 rep) | A: My fiancée is addicted to a "free-to-play" (pay-to-win) game (score: 144) | posted 4 days ago by peufeu (9728 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Community (1 rep)
Along the same line: if she is actually addicted to it, don't take it personally. — jvriesem 7 secs ago
#11889 jvriesem (101 rep) | A: My fiancée is addicted to a "free-to-play" (pay-to-win) game (score: 79) | posted 4 days ago by Jhal (739 rep)
I like this answer as well and to help ensure this is not about someone being overweight (I have known some overweight people who had unexpected strength/endurance/stamina), make sure that anyone in the group that fails to past muster on the "shake out hikes" is encouraged to drop out of the main hike, including the original OP. That makes it entirely impartial. — YLearn 51 secs ago
#11905 YLearn (131 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 57) | posted 4 days ago by Adam Davis (2700 rep) | edited 22 hours ago by ArtOfCode (1977 rep)
Both Kendra and Clay07g say that seeking embarrassment constitutes poor social skills. I agree generally, but not absolutely. I find B's polls openly offensive and I think that motivates rather harsh retribution (especially considering that less harsh retribution does not change his behavior). But I would be happy to hear of alternatives, or other evaluations of B's behavior. — arrowturnips 1 min ago
#12072 arrowturnips (13 rep) | Q: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 0) | posted 4 hours ago by arrowturnips (13 rep)
#12079 MCP_infiltrator (116 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 3) | posted 1 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (116 rep) | Has magic comment
Kendra that is exactly what I'm after, sorry but I thought it was obvious, I'll rephrase it. — MCP_infiltrator just now
#12079 MCP_infiltrator (116 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 3) | posted 1 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (116 rep) | Has magic comment
I can help reword as needed. :) I have an answer written up, as I figured you would return and work to address things. Once it's up to par, I'll vote to reopen. — Kendra 30 secs ago
#12079 Kendra (1651 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 3) | posted 1 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (116 rep) | Has magic comment
Hypothetically if you and your wife agree to some arrangement as you describe where you write her a check once a week or whatever so that she has "her own money" where you "should not need to see every transaction" she makes - would she consider it reasonable that you too have a similar discretionary fund separate from your existing joint account which she similarly "should not need to see every transaction" you make? — brhans 1 min ago
#12079 brhans (101 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 3) | posted 1 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (116 rep) | Has magic comment
Here's my evaluation: Two wrongs don't make a right. Yes, B is being rude, from your description. Yes, there needs to be a way to correct this. But no, I don't feel "revenge" or "retribution" is ever the correct way to go about it, socially speaking. The answer below, however, nails it. Escalate slowly. The final step: Ask B to leave. If that doesn't tell them that they've messed up, nothing will. Honestly, just being called out for the heckling is enough to embarrass most people, but you don't need to be rude or set out to embarrass them. Just point out what they're doing — Kendra 41 secs ago
#12072 Kendra (1651 rep) | Q: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 0) | posted 4 hours ago by arrowturnips (13 rep)
10:05 PM
Let me put this easily. If B is determined to interrupt your presentation, he/she will do it and there's nothing you can do short of kidnapping person B and taping their mouth. If you are unable to let it go and continue your presentation (or have B removed), we cannot help you. In no way does doing your job validate a heckler. That's absurd. Every second you spend dealing with a heckler is another second you waste of the audience's time. — Clay07g 1 min ago
#12073 Clay07g (1141 rep) | A: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 5) | posted 4 hours ago by baldPrussian (9215 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by baldPrussian (9215 rep)
" most people give honest compliments. While compliments are part of the social routine, I find that they actually do have real meaning and real impart" __ Absolutely, @Dan Anderson; the thing is that a compliment doesn't necessarily need to be literally truthful in order to convey the intended warmth and goodwill. — English Student 1 min ago
#12005 English Student (7515 rep) | A: How can I respond to well-meaning comments at the gym? (score: 2) | posted 42 hours ago by English Student (7515 rep) | edited 42 hours ago by English Student (7515 rep)
"most people give honest compliments. While compliments are part of the social routine, I find that they actually do have real meaning and real impart" _ Absolutely @Dan Anderson; the thing is that a compliment doesn't necessarily need to be literally truthful in order to convey the intended warmth and goodwill. Compliments are not really statements of fact but expressions of friendship in the social context. Thus the honesty of a compliment lies not in its literal truth but the "true feeling" that inspires it. A fake compliment fails mainly because it is unsupported by a genuine sentiment. — English Student 1 min ago
#12005 English Student (7515 rep) | A: How can I respond to well-meaning comments at the gym? (score: 2) | posted 42 hours ago by English Student (7515 rep) | edited 42 hours ago by English Student (7515 rep)
@peufeu I think Xodarap777 means that it can be dangerous to assume the only (real) motive is making money. In most of western Europe, at least, companies are expected the have some 'corporate governance', at least appear to be aware and improving social issues caused by their companies (For example, Shell heavily investing in renewable energy (solar, wind, water, etc.)) In some places, it is expected that companies just make money, because clearly if they do something bad, they'll stop making money. Somehow. This attitude can be dangerous, as companies stop lookin at whats really important — Discrete lizard 1 min ago
#11864 Discrete lizard (101 rep) | A: My fiancée is addicted to a "free-to-play" (pay-to-win) game (score: 145) | posted 4 days ago by peufeu (9728 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Community (1 rep)
@AndreiROM: Without commenting one way or the other on the general topic, I want to point out that saying "pointing out that someone is overweight is not fat shaming - it's just a fact" is like saying "pointing out that someone can't afford to pay his rent isn't shaming - it's just a fact". Like, yeah, it's nice to be objective and all, but everyone's complaint here is that a statement being a fact doesn't imply it doesn't make the person feel ashamed. In fact, I'm pretty sure shaming is generally done with facts. — Mehrdad 1 min ago
#11874 Mehrdad (1763 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 35) | posted 4 days ago by AndreiROM (14193 rep) | edited 3 days ago by AndreiROM (14193 rep)
10:33 PM
I think women would usually be a 'meta tag', which are site-wide considered to be a bad idea (TM). The main sign is that it really doesn't help, it's not like people think "oh, I know stuff about women, let me look for the women tag..." (and if they do, well then perhaps they shouldn't think that!) — Discrete lizard 1 min ago
#2630 Discrete lizard (101 rep) | A: Should the "women" tag be changed to something more age-neutral? (score: 17) | posted 4 days ago by Catija (10236 rep)
10:44 PM
@LeeDanielCrocker I was unaware of this difference; I would strongly suggest Canada utilize this information in their tourism advertising. — Bryan Krause 7 secs ago
#11747 Bryan Krause (260 rep) | A: How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me? (score: 127) | posted 6 days ago by Dan Anderson (6251 rep) | edited 4 days ago by Community (1 rep)
#4301 rotard (101 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend I don't want to meet without hurting her feelings? (score: 161) | posted 180 days ago by JessieArr (1442 rep) | edited 179 days ago by T.E.D. (970 rep)
11:10 PM
#11982 Alexander (101 rep) | Q: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: 53) | posted 2 days ago by Edgar (2079 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by henning (3642 rep)
#11986 Alexander (101 rep) | A: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: 16) | posted 2 days ago by FreeElk (516 rep)
11:41 PM
For the powerpoint part; use something else; so they can not use ppt file; use latex (sharelatex) or go present (godoc.org/golang.org/x/tools/present) or markdown; whatever. And just share source with them; make it as hard as possible to compile - once and they will not bother you again. — Kyslik 6 secs ago
#12043 Kyslik (101 rep) | Q: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 22) | posted 14 hours ago by user8979192 (111 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Kendra (1651 rep)
I agree that trying to cause embarrassment is a bad idea, but if you're the presenter and know your audience likes to keep things a bit lighthearted, try something like "I think the seminar for taking audience polls is actually down the hall, we'll get back to this presentation on (whatever) if you don't mind." Keep in mind that there can be real retribution if you actively embarrass a higher-up in the workplace. I would recommend one of the solutions below if you want to actively deal with the problem — WordsandNumbers 1 min ago
#12072 WordsandNumbers (150 rep) | Q: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by arrowturnips (13 rep)
Yes, the cultural difference here is huge even between western European countries, so you really tell us where are you located. — LinuxBlanket 14 secs ago
#12043 LinuxBlanket (5194 rep) | Q: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 22) | posted 14 hours ago by user8979192 (111 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Kendra (1651 rep)
#11874 AndreiROM (14193 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 35) | posted 4 days ago by AndreiROM (14193 rep) | edited 3 days ago by AndreiROM (14193 rep)
The OP has asked us to answer the question assuming that they are person A. Let's accept that. Please, if you think the goal of the OP is a poor choice for IPS reasons, feel free to explain in an answer. Please do not use comments to answer or argue with the premise of the question. — Catija ♦ 1 min ago
#12072 Catija (10236 rep) | Q: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by arrowturnips (13 rep)
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