00:00 - 20:0020:00 - 00:00
12:08 AM
#11874 Mehrdad (1763 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 35) | posted 4 days ago by AndreiROM (14193 rep) | edited 3 days ago by AndreiROM (14193 rep)
#11920 Craig (101 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 3) | posted 4 days ago by Beanluc (267 rep)
This is a good point. I have tried to determine others' (that is, C) attitude to B's behaviour (including people at the same level as B) and I have found no positive attitudes to his behavior, and several very negative ones. — arrowturnips 55 secs ago
#12088 arrowturnips (13 rep) | A: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Darkwing (477 rep)
#11871 Craig (101 rep) | Q: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 81) | posted 4 days ago by iFlo (509 rep) | edited 3 days ago by iFlo (509 rep)
@Craig This is not just a training thing if they already think they can do it. — paparazzo 20 secs ago
#11871 paparazzo (1218 rep) | Q: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 81) | posted 4 days ago by iFlo (509 rep) | edited 3 days ago by iFlo (509 rep)
12:32 AM
Ok Kendra, just put baby to bed will do tomorrow kids tucker one out. Brhans I would imagine so, I used to get ten dollars a week but quit taking that two yeas ago, with one income times are tight and both head deep in student loans — MCP_infiltrator 28 secs ago
#12079 MCP_infiltrator (116 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 3) | posted 4 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (116 rep) | Has magic comment
#11874 AndreiROM (14193 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 35) | posted 4 days ago by AndreiROM (14193 rep) | edited 3 days ago by AndreiROM (14193 rep)
@paparazzo So call it practice, either way it should be pretty easy to make the case that they need to spend some time hitting some trails together before committing to 180km as a group. — Craig 21 secs ago
#11871 Craig (101 rep) | Q: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 81) | posted 4 days ago by iFlo (509 rep) | edited 3 days ago by iFlo (509 rep)
#12090 paparazzo (1218 rep) | Q: How to politely and effectively communicate with someone who's deaf, while not knowing any sign language? (score: 0) | posted 12 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (2154 rep) | edited 5 seconds ago by D.Hutchinson (2154 rep)
#11871 paparazzo (1218 rep) | Q: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 81) | posted 4 days ago by iFlo (509 rep) | edited 3 days ago by iFlo (509 rep)
#11871 Craig (101 rep) | Q: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 81) | posted 4 days ago by iFlo (509 rep) | edited 3 days ago by iFlo (509 rep)
"I am the smart guy" and "I try to escape but I can't" are pretty much mutually exclusive :-) — paxdiablo 45 secs ago
#12043 paxdiablo (221 rep) | Q: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 22) | posted 15 hours ago by user8979192 (111 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Kendra (1651 rep)
1:10 AM
#12047 Ooker (140 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 10) | posted 14 hours ago by Sandy C (398 rep)
1:37 AM
I'm alarmed that you would advise the OP to pander to his girlfriend's delusional and irrational behaviour. He needs to set a boundary with her, and let her know with certainty that he will not tolerate abusive or narcissistic behaviour from her. — Mark Micallef 1 min ago
#11989 Mark Micallef (101 rep) | A: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: 99) | posted 2 days ago by LinuxBlanket (5194 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by LinuxBlanket (5194 rep)
#12044 user30031 (101 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 5) | posted 16 hours ago by skymningen (607 rep)
Having tried many of these same tactics during my schooltime, I was simply peer-pressured until I gave I'm or insulted in turn. — user30031 27 secs ago
#12094 user30031 (101 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 0) | posted 1 minutes ago by user30031 (101 rep)
2:15 AM
You should add to your question where this is happening (your country, culture) and about how much money this is about. I.e. maybe she wants to be able to buy you a gift from time to time with "her" money. — Edgar 27 secs ago
#12079 Edgar (2079 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 3) | posted 6 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (116 rep) | Has magic comment
2:32 AM
This does not provide an answer to the question. To critique or request clarification from an author, leave a comment below their post. - From Review — sphennings 1 min ago
#12093 sphennings (4877 rep) | A: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by Mark Micallef (99 rep)
@sphennings I disagree entirely. This answers the question exactly of how to deal with his girlfriend's irrational behaviour. I do not require clarification, nor am I providing a critique of the question itself. Your response is invalid. — Mark Micallef 1 min ago
#12093 Mark Micallef (99 rep) | A: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by Mark Micallef (99 rep)
3:14 AM
Some deaf people take speech class and are happy to speak in public while some have never used their voice. Could you please tell us if they said anything? If they spoke, what did they say? If they didn't speak, what did they do to indicate what they wanted to order? — Jesse 29 secs ago
#12090 Jesse (3479 rep) | Q: How to politely and effectively communicate with someone who's deaf? (score: 1) | posted 2 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2159 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2159 rep)
I highly doubt you tried my approach. It's too simple to be called a "tactic," I think. — Wildcard 1 min ago
#12094 Wildcard (564 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by user30031 (101 rep)
#11871 user30031 (101 rep) | Q: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 81) | posted 4 days ago by iFlo (509 rep) | edited 3 days ago by iFlo (509 rep)
3:41 AM
#12094 user30031 (101 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by user30031 (101 rep)
#11889 user30031 (101 rep) | A: My fiancée is addicted to a "free-to-play" (pay-to-win) game (score: 83) | posted 4 days ago by Jhal (779 rep)
@Wildcard and to be frank, if you think engaging in high-level philosophical thinking with highschools is a good idea, I could share some of the degrading things said to me when I took that road. Sorry if I took your reply too personally. — user30031 20 secs ago
#12094 user30031 (101 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by user30031 (101 rep)
#12085 user30031 (101 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 1) | posted 6 hours ago by Wildcard (564 rep)
#11982 Edmund Reed (101 rep) | Q: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: 55) | posted 2 days ago by Edgar (2089 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by henning (3642 rep)
#11463 Jesse (3479 rep) | A: How to switch conversation from language to language in peers? (score: 1) | posted 13 days ago by Jesse (3479 rep)
@Jesse good question; the man was seemingly trying to pronounce the words with his mouth, and we tried to read his lips, while gesturing to him a bit. There was no volume from him, though. — D.Hutchinson just now
#12090 D.Hutchinson (2179 rep) | Q: How to politely and effectively communicate with someone who's deaf? (score: 1) | posted 3 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2179 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2179 rep)
4:37 AM
I should have added a smiley to that comment. :) Reading it now, I do see it sounded a bit harsh. Sorry about that! Regarding degrading responses, I do understand that; however, people who give such responses may not be your real friends in the first place. There is even a precept of The Way to Happiness that gives a long range handling for such. (Actually, more than one precept is relevant.) — Wildcard 1 min ago
#12094 Wildcard (564 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by user30031 (101 rep)
#12094 Wildcard (564 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by user30031 (101 rep)
That goes back to another point as well, I don't see this question being about "friends". Classmates could just be acquaintances. — user30031 2 mins ago
#12094 user30031 (101 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by user30031 (101 rep)
At least the are good at changing it, one kid in my class copied someone's homework sheet including the name. No kidding. — DonQuiKong 38 secs ago
#12043 DonQuiKong (201 rep) | Q: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 22) | posted 19 hours ago by user8979192 (111 rep) | edited 10 hours ago by Kendra (1651 rep)
5:41 AM
@D.Hutchinson, as Witan ap Danu says, with so many long comments you should really just write an answer. — Wildcard 32 secs ago
#2579 Wildcard (564 rep) | A: Avoiding turning "should I" questions into XY problems (score: 2) | posted 12 days ago by 1006a (1487 rep) | edited 11 days ago by 1006a (1487 rep)
1 hour later…
6:51 AM
Sometimes people get extensions for some reason when I would not have a reason to have not completed yet. — user8979192 45 secs ago
#12047 user8979192 (116 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 10) | posted 20 hours ago by Sandy C (398 rep)
7:02 AM
But this won't work in my case. "Come on don't be a rat! O my God why are you such a scavenger?..." So this looks out of place — user8979192 23 secs ago
#12100 user8979192 (116 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by John Hamilton (530 rep)
7:23 AM
Possible duplicate of What are some other ways to speak to a deaf person without ASL? — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#12090 Tinkeringbell (16628 rep) | Q: How to politely and effectively communicate with someone who's deaf? (score: 0) | posted 6 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2177 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2177 rep)
7:36 AM
@MarkMicallef it's the middle of the night. You wake up after a very vivid and painful dream in which your gf cheated on you. It feels real, plus you're only half awake so you don't really know whether it ended. You see your gf, so carried by the situating you ask her "why did you do it?". What answer do you want from her, in that moment? I'm quite sure it's not "Shut up Mark, what a narcissistic and irrational guy you are, if you keep on with this abuse you'll go to sleep on the sofa." // I'm suggesting to postpone the discussion to the day after, not to not have it at all. — LinuxBlanket 1 min ago
#11989 LinuxBlanket (5214 rep) | A: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: 101) | posted 2 days ago by LinuxBlanket (5214 rep) | edited 18 hours ago by LinuxBlanket (5214 rep)
8:01 AM
@LinuxBlanket Does she normally have difficulty differentiating between dreams and reality? What I suggest to you is that you need to set clear boundaries if you're going to keep seeing her. Let her know that irrational accusations are unnaceptable, and a form of partner abuse which you will not tolerate. Whether you do that immediately or the following day is up to your judgement. — Mark Micallef 41 secs ago
#11989 Mark Micallef (101 rep) | A: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: 101) | posted 2 days ago by LinuxBlanket (5214 rep) | edited 18 hours ago by LinuxBlanket (5214 rep)
8:12 AM
@Erik Not that I think it is all that relevant but the guys tend to (not always) be fairly innocent to start with. Little sexual experience and think their relationship with her is something really special but, to her, she just wants to draw them along until they get too clingy or stop doing everything she wants. — FreeElk 11 secs ago
#11987 FreeElk (526 rep) | Q: How to apologise for how you said something without going back on the content (score: 7) | posted 2 days ago by FreeElk (526 rep) | edited 2 days ago by Crafter0800 (5044 rep)
@peufeu I wanted to apologise because I felt bad for upsetting her and because I felt the actual content of what I said was easier for her to ignore if it was cloaked in some pretty nasty language. — FreeElk 47 secs ago
#11987 FreeElk (526 rep) | Q: How to apologise for how you said something without going back on the content (score: 7) | posted 2 days ago by FreeElk (526 rep) | edited 2 days ago by Crafter0800 (5044 rep)
@apaul Alice and I are just friends and the guys we're meeting come from anywhere, normally we're both friends with them for a while first, but the most recent one was a guy I'd known for months (had no intention of sleeping with though) and have really seen the change in him and how much time he spends studying since she has started getting with him. — FreeElk 1 min ago
#11987 FreeElk (526 rep) | Q: How to apologise for how you said something without going back on the content (score: 7) | posted 2 days ago by FreeElk (526 rep) | edited 2 days ago by Crafter0800 (5044 rep)
@MarkMicallef if this was a repeated behaviour and was enforced during daytime as well, we could think of calling it "abusive". As it stands, I don't see any reason to put such a negative label on it. I'm not suggesting not to be firm; I'm suggesting to be sweet and understanding. It's OP's girlfriend we're talking about, not a nasty stranger. — LinuxBlanket 52 secs ago
#11989 LinuxBlanket (5214 rep) | A: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: 101) | posted 2 days ago by LinuxBlanket (5214 rep) | edited 18 hours ago by LinuxBlanket (5214 rep)
Thanks for the link; I've self-posted an answer (see below) that addresses the specific concern about using gestures while communicating with someone who's deaf. — D.Hutchinson 1 min ago
#12090 D.Hutchinson (2176 rep) | Q: How to politely and effectively communicate with someone who's deaf? (score: 0) | posted 7 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2176 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2176 rep)
I'm not going to downvote this, because it might work in certain groups. With my boardgame group this wouldn't fly, however, it would come across as (not so subtle) bragging. As always: before taking advice from strangers on the internet, make sure you know the actual people you'll be interacting with well enough. — DonFusili 1 min ago
#11997 DonFusili (167 rep) | A: Winning too many games at game night - how can I keep it fun for everyone? (score: 10) | posted 2 days ago by peufeu (9808 rep)
#12090 Spagirl (8606 rep) | Q: How to politely and effectively communicate with someone who's deaf? (score: 0) | posted 8 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2176 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2176 rep)
#12090 Tinkeringbell (16627 rep) | Q: How to politely and effectively communicate with someone who's deaf? (score: 0) | posted 8 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2174 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2174 rep)
8:55 AM
#12090 D.Hutchinson (2174 rep) | Q: How to politely and effectively communicate with someone who's deaf? (score: 0) | posted 8 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2174 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2174 rep)
Hi ash last! Could you please specify your question: for what do you want us to help you? Unfortunately, questions of type "what should I do?" are not a good fit for this site. However, you could maybe ask sth like: "How can I convince her that I truly changed?" . Also, more details about the nature of the "other things that happened" would be welcomed to understand your issue better. — avazula 1 min ago
#12105 avazula (2661 rep) | Q: Really Need some girl advice on what should I do? (score: 0) | posted 14 minutes ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by A J (5363 rep)
#11891 SQB (3360 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 12) | posted 4 days ago by Chris H (401 rep)
Strangely enough, Crib Goch was one of the training hikes I mentioned in my answer. It gives quite a good idea of the challenges even if weather means you can't go on to Snowdon (the ridge is dangerous in crosswinds). Then imagine doing that every day for a fortnight, sometimes twice. — Chris H 24 secs ago
#11905 Chris H (401 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 64) | posted 4 days ago by Adam Davis (2750 rep) | edited 33 hours ago by ArtOfCode (1987 rep)
Welcome to Interpersonal Skills! Unfortunately, this question appears to be asking “What should I do?”, which the community has determined to not be a good fit for Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange. We can’t decide for you what to do; after you determine what you want to do, we can help you with your goal, but we can’t make these decisions for you. Sorry. — Tinkeringbell just now
#12105 Tinkeringbell (16627 rep) | Q: Really Need some girl advice on what should I do? (score: -1) | posted 19 minutes ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by A J (5363 rep)
@Tinkeringbell I wasn't planning to respond to your comment, but I think I need to, just to be clear: In no way did I intentionally write a duplicate question, just so I could post an answer. My question is authentic, based on a real experience from a few nights ago. You (and someone else, too) continue your campaign of belittling new users in this community, all the while wondering why there seems to be no progress in community-building. — D.Hutchinson 29 secs ago
#12090 D.Hutchinson (2174 rep) | Q: How to politely and effectively communicate with someone who's deaf? (score: 0) | posted 8 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2174 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2174 rep)
@D.Hutchinson In no way did I say you did so intentionally, I just gave a general statement. Sorry if that offended you just because I said it, but you've been around long enough to know how this site works, you should know better too and do some research effort before posting, even if that's just a search for 'deaf' in the search bar, which will show the duplicate in the first 5 results or so. But have some leading questions: How is your question different from the duplicate? What makes it not a 'validate me please' question because that's basically what your answer is inviting people to do? — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#12090 Tinkeringbell (16627 rep) | Q: How to politely and effectively communicate with someone who's deaf? (score: 0) | posted 8 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2174 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2174 rep)
#11891 Chris H (401 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 12) | posted 4 days ago by Chris H (401 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by Chris H (401 rep)
Yes, or "Aye, Dark Overlord!", which is more on having fun and telling silly stories together than winning. (Great game btw) — LinuxBlanket 1 min ago
#12014 LinuxBlanket (5214 rep) | A: Winning too many games at game night - how can I keep it fun for everyone? (score: 20) | posted 41 hours ago by Galastel (483 rep)
#12098 WGroleau (483 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 1) | posted 3 hours ago by Aruna (19 rep)
9:30 AM
#12065 Rolexel (548 rep) | A: How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding? (score: -1) | posted 18 hours ago by Rolexel (548 rep)
Your comment is noted and I accept your apology. I have plenty of IPS questions in my head - writing dupe questions is certainly not a goal for me ... — D.Hutchinson just now
#12090 D.Hutchinson (2174 rep) | Q: How to politely and effectively communicate with someone who's deaf? (score: 0) | posted 9 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2174 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2174 rep)
#12101 avazula (2661 rep) | A: How to politely and effectively communicate with someone who's deaf? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2174 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2174 rep)
dude you really dont seem to have any idea how to talk to women .... You are WAY too clingy! One tip. (generalized ofc!) Many mens goal is sex, and when they got it many loose interest. On the other hand, women want an emotionally open person. Thats what they chase. If you are available on the spot, they'll loose interest! An important thing in dating is to be able to play it cool. Not offputting or arrogant, but you have to be able to let her some space and let her come as well. But if she is not interested, she is not interested. You have to accept this. — MansNotHot 36 secs ago
#12105 MansNotHot (1374 rep) | Q: Really Need some girl advice on what should I do? (score: -3) | posted 57 minutes ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 45 minutes ago by A J (5363 rep)
@BradleyWilson since you mentioned the earplugs, I don't know the cost of stuff where you live, but you might consider investing on a good soundproof/noise cancelling headphone. There are some that cover the entire ears and are used by construction workers, and some are made for listening to music also. I own a pair of Bose 25 headphones (which are good cost-benefit) but there are better things out there if it means your rest and work and study. — Paula Hasstenteufel 9 secs ago
#1538 Paula Hasstenteufel (211 rep) | A: How to politely approach my neighbours about their excessively screaming child? (score: 25) | posted 222 days ago by OldPadawan (8562 rep)
Welcome to Interpersonal Skills! Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#12105 Tinkeringbell (16627 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by ash last (1 rep)
#12105 ash last (1 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by ash last (1 rep) | Has magic comment
@ashlast the details don't help your question, it's still asking 'what should I do now' in the body. Being persuasive/coming across as convincing is an Interpersonal Skill, but what means of contacting her do you have, besides sending her another message? Have you thought about the implications of doing that, we don't know her, would she be open to receiving such a text or would it be more in her character to dismiss it as another episode of clinginess? — Tinkeringbell 6 secs ago
#12105 Tinkeringbell (16627 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 12 minutes ago by ash last (1 rep) | Has magic comment
@MCP_infiltrator Thought about the same thing Edgar said. She might want to be able to buy presents for you wihtout you seeing. Then on the other hand an ATM would work as well, and on the other other (third) hand it might be a larger present she might not want you to notice and or ask about a large transaction because of it — MansNotHot 1 min ago
#12079 MansNotHot (1374 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 5) | posted 13 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (126 rep) | Has magic comment
A good friend helps you to do your work on your own, and a bad friend will do your work without explaining it to you. — Aruna 41 secs ago
#12098 Aruna (19 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 1) | posted 4 hours ago by Aruna (19 rep)
10:13 AM
#12105 Spagirl (8616 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Spagirl (8616 rep) | Has magic comment
10:30 AM
@Spagirl, I'd love to still see some information on how the ashlast is going to have this conversation with her (messages? in person?), but yes, that does help. — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#12105 Tinkeringbell (16627 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 13 minutes ago by Spagirl (8616 rep) | Has magic comment
Are you offended by something ? Is it so unconceivable that with no experience you aren't able to be aware of the risks ? Even if you tell someone the risk, he will probably take that risk into account when (it will be too late and when) he will face it. — iFlo 45 secs ago
#11999 iFlo (509 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: -2) | posted 2 days ago by Bread (235 rep)
@LinuxBlanket Neither am I suggesting OP be nasty, but the situation described involves anger and irrationality. The OP is not oblidged to coddle his girlfriend or tolerate abusive or narcissistic behaviour from her. Certainly, he does not need to be "comforting". She is (presumably) an adult, and can be expected to be responsible for her actions, including her speech. He is well within his moral right to set boundaries with her not to be accussed of infidelity based on her imaginings. The appropriate response from her is an apology and contrition. — Mark Micallef 10 secs ago
#11989 Mark Micallef (101 rep) | A: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: 101) | posted 3 days ago by LinuxBlanket (5214 rep) | edited 21 hours ago by LinuxBlanket (5214 rep)
@Spagirl sure, but it wouldn't hurt to have it black-on-white, there's a lot of assuming and reading between the lines on this site and it doesn't always result in the most useful answers I think... If it's there, we can tell answerers that assume otherwise that their answer isn't useful... — Tinkeringbell 15 secs ago
#12105 Tinkeringbell (16627 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 21 minutes ago by Spagirl (8616 rep) | Has magic comment
Reason I want to know btw: non-verbal communication like body language and tone of voice can play a huge role in being persuasive, but if it's just going to be messages, that kind of answer would be unuseful... — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#12105 Tinkeringbell (16627 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 21 minutes ago by Spagirl (8616 rep) | Has magic comment
#12105 Spagirl (8616 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 21 minutes ago by Spagirl (8616 rep) | Has magic comment
The situation you describe borders on emotional and psychological manipulation of the type typically seen in abusive spousal relationships. You are under no moral obligation to answer her questions. Rather, I would suggest that you set some firm boundaries within your relationship. Being accused of something she imagined (in a dream or otherwise) is completely unnaceptable. You don't need to be nasty, but you DO need to be firm. Set a clear expectation that you will not tolerate repeat occurances. She is (presumably) an adult and must be responsible for her actions, as you are for yours. — Mark Micallef 1 min ago
#11982 Mark Micallef (101 rep) | Q: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: 55) | posted 3 days ago by Edgar (2089 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by henning (3642 rep)
TL;DR: Call her on her bullshit, and don't put up with it. She'll respect you more if you respect yourself and take a stand. Don't put up with a bad situation, it will only get worse. Hopefully, this was a one-off event. — Mark Micallef 1 min ago
#11982 Mark Micallef (101 rep) | Q: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: 55) | posted 3 days ago by Edgar (2089 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by henning (3642 rep)
Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — Tinkeringbell 8 secs ago
#11982 Tinkeringbell (16627 rep) | Q: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: 55) | posted 3 days ago by Edgar (2089 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by henning (3642 rep)
11:09 AM
"YOU WERE LEFT IN CHARGE" A contract needs both parties to consent to be considered binding. — Suma 45 secs ago
#12065 Suma (224 rep) | A: How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding? (score: 0) | posted 19 hours ago by Rolexel (566 rep) | edited 50 minutes ago by Rolexel (566 rep)
11:28 AM
+1 I was about to suggest this answer - if it's so difficult then you should be doing (or could contrive to do) "training hikes" between now and then, make sure they come along and both you and more importantly, she, can assess her fitness. She may surprise you. — colmde 59 secs ago
#11920 colmde (121 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: 5) | posted 4 days ago by Beanluc (287 rep)
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because this is about making someone else do something (understand) instead of improving my own Interpersonal Skills. — Tinkeringbell 27 secs ago
#5759 Tinkeringbell (16637 rep) | Q: How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding? (score: 112) | posted 148 days ago by Tinkeringbell (16637 rep) | edited 53 days ago by Tinkeringbell (16637 rep)
We can't answer whether the behavior is rude or not. It's irrelevant, anyway. Whether it should be addressed or not is also not something we address here. That's an opinion. Your question was fine initially - you told us what you wanted to do. I recommend reverting your edit and removing the questions asking us to judge this behavior. — Catija ♦ 1 min ago
#12072 Catija (10246 rep) | Q: How to deal with rude interruptions in a seminar? (score: 1) | posted 18 hours ago by arrowturnips (18 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by arrowturnips (18 rep)
Well, generally yes but here it's her parents and she leaves with them. In the case of parent -> children relationship there's often no consent exchange on this kind of tasks and we lack details on this point but it seems that it's not the first time the OP is left alone looking after her brother. She even said that she has this responsibility because she's the oldest and considered the wisest. — Rolexel 1 min ago
#12065 Rolexel (566 rep) | A: How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding? (score: 0) | posted 20 hours ago by Rolexel (566 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Rolexel (566 rep)
12:07 PM
@MarkMicallef well, no one is obliged to have a girlfriend in the first place. I feel like you're trying to state a whole different point than my answer. I won't change it anyway, but I encourage you to write your own answer from your point of view. :) — LinuxBlanket 1 min ago
#11989 LinuxBlanket (5224 rep) | A: I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react? (score: 102) | posted 3 days ago by LinuxBlanket (5224 rep) | edited 22 hours ago by LinuxBlanket (5224 rep)
I actually think the rumour originated from her, directly or indirectly. She tended to talk about personal stuff like relationship with some of her friend who have a very loose tongue so... She might have spoken to her friends about it and these friends talked to other people and it eventually came to my ears. — Hawker65 1 min ago
#12110 Hawker65 (189 rep) | A: How to check the veracity of a rumor about a relationship? (score: 2) | posted 13 minutes ago by OldPadawan (8592 rep) | edited 19 seconds ago by OldPadawan (8592 rep)
TY for your answer, I see what you mean. But as i'm most of the time listening (in group discussion too). I kinda have a good view of how people could react with my thinking. And i think that if I speak it out loud. It could ruin a lot of relation I have. Because i need times to work on my thought and present them in a more correct way to people. (but maybe it's a point for an other topic) — miyoku 1 min ago
#12083 miyoku (48 rep) | A: How to convey interest while someone tries to engage me in small talk? (score: 4) | posted 15 hours ago by Dan Anderson (6354 rep)
That is how her mother views the situation: " I'm the oldest, that I should feel responsible and that the mess, therefore, is my fault". She does not accept that responsibility, it seems: " I'm not responsible for the mess ... " — Suma 49 secs ago
#12065 Suma (224 rep) | A: How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding? (score: 0) | posted 21 hours ago by Rolexel (566 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Rolexel (566 rep)
@Hawker65 : I edited my answer to clarify after your comment. It doesn't change the whole meaning, though... — OldPadawan just now
#12110 OldPadawan (8592 rep) | A: How to check the veracity of a rumor about a relationship? (score: 2) | posted 17 minutes ago by OldPadawan (8592 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by OldPadawan (8592 rep)
12:31 PM
She leaves under her parents roof, in this case as an adult you often have to make concessions. Being the one in charge as the first kid is often one of them. — Rolexel 10 secs ago
#12065 Rolexel (566 rep) | A: How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding? (score: 0) | posted 21 hours ago by Rolexel (566 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Rolexel (566 rep)
12:44 PM
@MansNotHot technically there is nothing stopping her from going to the ATM and just getting it. I just want to know because I want to add it as a bill reminder in our Quicken file. I need to know if we can afford what she wants in "allowance" along with what she will spend on stuff as well, the allowance in essence becomes another bill/outflow. We don't do big presents, our money is very tight, I reserve for everything, Xmas, Amazon Prime yearly bill, New Car lease (I spread the first month payment and fees over three years for both of us) — MCP_infiltrator 47 secs ago
#12079 MCP_infiltrator (126 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 5) | posted 16 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (126 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by MCP_infiltrator (126 rep) | Has magic comment
This seems to be not about interpersonal skills, and is therefore going to be closed. Please refer to the help center to see what is on-topic for this site. — Cashbee 20 secs ago
#12112 Cashbee (2538 rep) | Q: Tutorials take too long (score: -4) | posted 7 minutes ago by Marijke (1 rep)
#12079 MansNotHot (1374 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 5) | posted 16 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (126 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by MCP_infiltrator (126 rep) | Has magic comment
@mbomb007 In no way is there such an assumption. "you could go to a near by pub or watch a movie" explicitly acknowledges that going to a pub may not be an option. — pipe 12 secs ago
#12047 pipe (105 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 10) | posted 26 hours ago by Sandy C (408 rep)
Can you please explain exactly why you think that this is a good idea? Why do you say to take this course of action? What’s the thought process behind this answer? As this currently stands, this is essentially a “Try this!” answer, which are not considered to conform to our quality standards on Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange. — Tinkeringbell 27 secs ago
#12109 Tinkeringbell (16636 rep) | A: How to convey interest while someone tries to engage me in small talk? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by colmde (119 rep)
@gnasher729 That's understandable as a personal reaction, but I was speaking in terms of employment law. — DaveMongoose 15 secs ago
#11774 DaveMongoose (411 rep) | A: How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me? (score: 7) | posted 6 days ago by Anna SdTC (484 rep)
How does this help the OP with their Interpersonal Skills? If she's stubborn, how does OP tell her that the hike will be too hard, or that they don't want to take her if she proves to be someone they just don't like? How does this answer 'how to tell that the hike will be to hard? You're basically implying that there's no Interpersonal Skills solution here by suggesting a test-hike, can you explain why? — Tinkeringbell 22 secs ago
#12108 Tinkeringbell (16635 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by AnoE (1848 rep) | edited 24 minutes ago by AnoE (1848 rep)
+1 "ethical reasons" implies absolute ethics. "my values" implies relative ethics. I'm sure many people do horrible things for "ethical reasons", when what they mean is that those things "align with the very specific ethical values they subscribe to". — Tasos Papastylianou 49 secs ago
#11770 Tasos Papastylianou (137 rep) | A: How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me? (score: 27) | posted 6 days ago by fox (291 rep) | edited 6 days ago by fox (291 rep)
The guy who told me a rumour is a classmate. We get along but I would not say we are friends. He is a nice guy but tends to be a bit childish. When he told me the rumour, he was teasing me like a lot of children would do "Oh, he wants to be with this girl." (I don't know if you know what I mean) — Hawker65 9 secs ago
#12113 Hawker65 (189 rep) | A: How to check the veracity of a rumor about a relationship? (score: 1) | posted 4 minutes ago by Tay W (11 rep)
Assume person P who subscribes to religion R has a particular ethics code E which states that you cannot do objectionable thing O. E.g., let's say, it is a heavy sin to consume products that mimic animal products (e.g. almond milk, tofu omelette, etc). Assume that it so happens you don't find O objectionable (and may even feel it is ethically correct from your point of view), and are curious as to why they choose to do O. If they replied "for ethical reasons", how would you react, and what would your opinion of that person be. How about if they replied "it is something I believe in" instead. — Tasos Papastylianou 1 min ago
#11739 Tasos Papastylianou (137 rep) | Q: How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me? (score: 119) | posted 6 days ago by Bridgeburners (679 rep) | edited 5 days ago by HDE 226868 (6271 rep)
I got the impression from your commentary that you're possibly interested in her with some reservations. If you're not interested in her at all you can simply quell the rumours with "Haha, she's nice/pretty/cute but I'm not interested in a relationship with her"; otherwise if you value his opinion you could ask something along the lines of "Do you think I should say something to her?". Odds are (in my opinion) he'll be relaying information back so be aware of this... :) — Tay W 37 secs ago
#12113 Tay W (11 rep) | A: How to check the veracity of a rumor about a relationship? (score: 1) | posted 12 minutes ago by Tay W (11 rep)
#12046 mbomb007 (168 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 4) | posted 27 hours ago by Astralbee (8296 rep)
Your question is definitely better! But we can't tell you what you should do, or what you can do as those are still opinion based. What we can do is help you learn how to navigate things once you've decided what you will do. For example, if you reword the actual question part of your question to "How can I approach this discussion with my wife so that we both understand how the other feels about this?" I think that would be perfectly fine. (And that seems to be the actual meat and potatoes of your post, so I've edited to that regard, roll back if I'm wrong!) — Kendra 1 min ago
#12079 Kendra (1651 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 5) | posted 17 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (126 rep) | edited 25 seconds ago by Kendra (1651 rep) | Has magic comment
#12079 Kendra (1651 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 5) | posted 17 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (126 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Kendra (1651 rep) | Has magic comment
I'm interested in trying a relationship, but I doubt this would be a long term one. I would like to be with her, but I don't see her as the mother of my future children for now. I would like to know her better to see if there are some good traits of her personality I missed. — Hawker65 25 secs ago
#12113 Hawker65 (189 rep) | A: How to check the veracity of a rumor about a relationship? (score: 1) | posted 18 minutes ago by Tay W (11 rep)
@mbomb007 I'm not crazy about lying myself. However the current situation is that his "friends" are handing in work that HE has done with a few modifications and passing it off as their own, and this is also lying. It is more serious, because if caught they could all fail school, including the OP who is complicit in the deception. The aim of my proposed solution is to wean his friends off their dependence on him. This is a deception he won't fail school over and will hopefully soon come to an end. — Astralbee 14 secs ago
#12046 Astralbee (8296 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 4) | posted 27 hours ago by Astralbee (8296 rep)
"this did not go down smoothly" > What was done, just plain out tell them they're colorblind? Is the client aware now, and are they really red-green colorblind, or were there false accusations? It would be great if there was a bit more info on what happened (how the idea of colorblindness was presented, tone of voice, timing, phrasing) since that might make it a lot more obvious if the client could have mistaken it for a false accusation or helpful suggestion... — Tinkeringbell 41 secs ago
#12115 Tinkeringbell (16636 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 0) | posted 8 minutes ago by Belle-Sophie (529 rep)
Are you certain the client was not just as embarrassed/angry that he was wrong as he was surprised at his colourblindness? — Kozaky 45 secs ago
#12115 Kozaky (594 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 0) | posted 9 minutes ago by Belle-Sophie (529 rep)
I am not aware of what was done. It did turn out he didn't know he was colourblind. — Belle-Sophie 55 secs ago
#12115 Belle-Sophie (529 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 0) | posted 10 minutes ago by Belle-Sophie (529 rep)
#12079 MCP_infiltrator (126 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 5) | posted 17 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (126 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by Kendra (1651 rep) | Has magic comment
#12079 Kendra (1651 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 5) | posted 17 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (126 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by Kendra (1651 rep) | Has magic comment
If you tend to attract toxic women, look at yourself. Maybe your lack of self-confidence make you look like a potential victim to them. That is what these women are, predators waiting for an abuse victim. I really hope your therapy is going well and that you get stronger. — Hawker65 46 secs ago
#7670 Hawker65 (189 rep) | Q: How do I tactfully get clarity about maybe-flirtatious behavior? (score: 6) | posted 104 days ago by CowardlyLion (33 rep)
This is going beyond the scope of the question but since we're in comments... What you're describing just now covers the first stage in a healthy romantic relationship: identifying if you actually get along in a romantic context. Some might call it 'dating' but there's no real need to go on a date right away. My full advice would be to contact her, say you've heard rumours about potential feelings between you both, indicate you are in fact romantically interested in her and asking whether she holds the same interest in return. — Tay W 46 secs ago
#12113 Tay W (11 rep) | A: How to check the veracity of a rumor about a relationship? (score: 1) | posted 26 minutes ago by Tay W (11 rep)
As well as this, regardless of the outcome the rumours can be put to rest: either with a "I asked her but she said she wasn't interested" or "Yes, we're talking about possibly dating now" — Tay W 38 secs ago
#12113 Tay W (11 rep) | A: How to check the veracity of a rumor about a relationship? (score: 1) | posted 27 minutes ago by Tay W (11 rep)
@Belle-Sophie : have you heard of this "colours' war" and can it apply here? — OldPadawan 25 secs ago
#12115 OldPadawan (8592 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 1) | posted 17 minutes ago by Belle-Sophie (534 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by Belle-Sophie (534 rep)
You should get a little more detail of what was tried from your colleague- Did they even suggest the client was colorblind? Did they just say something along the lines of, "No, this is red and this is green. Are you colorblind?" in the moment? In a heated, at least to the client, debate, that could've been considered rude. But if it was addressed differently, or the word were not even mentioned, it may be different. (Taken more or less rudely.) Otherwise, as Kozaky suggested, it could've been embarrassment. We really don't have enough to know how this went wrong... — Kendra 6 secs ago
#12115 Kendra (1651 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 1) | posted 20 minutes ago by Belle-Sophie (534 rep) | edited 9 minutes ago by Belle-Sophie (534 rep)
I think I will "interrogate" both the guy and the girl herself to see both versions and finally put this at rest as you said. — Hawker65 37 secs ago
#12113 Hawker65 (189 rep) | A: How to check the veracity of a rumor about a relationship? (score: 1) | posted 31 minutes ago by Tay W (11 rep)
1:38 PM
@OldPadawan That's highly unlikely, considering the client got a diagnosis later on. — Belle-Sophie 1 min ago
#12115 Belle-Sophie (534 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 1) | posted 31 minutes ago by Belle-Sophie (534 rep) | edited 9 minutes ago by Belle-Sophie (534 rep)
#12043 WhatEvil (331 rep) | Q: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 28) | posted 28 hours ago by user8979192 (141 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by user8979192 (141 rep)
Let's just say that if he tells me who told him this, there is a pretty big chance that it is one of her friends, which would "confirm" my theory about the rumour. As you said, for the truth itself, I will ask the girl directly. — Hawker65 23 secs ago
#12120 Hawker65 (194 rep) | A: How to check the veracity of a rumor about a relationship? (score: 1) | posted 8 minutes ago by Astralbee (8306 rep)
As a red-green colorblind person, it is basically impossible to tell whether people are joking or not regarding the color of red or green items — Roijan Eskor 1 min ago
#12115 Roijan Eskor (300 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 1) | posted 42 minutes ago by Belle-Sophie (534 rep) | edited 20 minutes ago by Belle-Sophie (534 rep)
I just started running, and I'm very incredibly out of shape. (Fitness only, size doesn't matter for my point.) Shall I go and immediately push myself to complete a marathon, though I've run a mile exactly zero times this year? I've run nothing more than a block, but I can tell I can totally handle a full marathon next week! (This is what the OP is getting at- This is not the hike for this other person to start with, for the safety of said person, for the safety of the other hikers, and also for the enthusiasm of this other person.) — Kendra 1 min ago
#11999 Kendra (1649 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: -3) | posted 2 days ago by Bread (233 rep)
2:07 PM
Nobody can force anyone to do anything. And you can't live other people's lives for them, though it may be tempting to try. If the OP wanted to exclude her, he shouldn't have made the invitation in her presence, without specifying that it wasn't meant for her. But it's too late now, because the damage is done. Trust me on this, treating her graciously, diplomatically and kindly -- is the best way to handle the problem. The time for micromanagement is before a problem has been created, not afterwards. OP dropped the ball, now it's in their court. — Bread 1 min ago
#11999 Bread (233 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: -3) | posted 2 days ago by Bread (233 rep)
#12115 Spagirl (8626 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Belle-Sophie (534 rep) | edited 39 minutes ago by Belle-Sophie (534 rep)
What Interpersonal Skill are you asking about here? Right now, it reads like you want advice on how to get your Nana to change her behavior, which isn't really an Interpersonal Skill... — Tinkeringbell 49 secs ago
#12038 Tinkeringbell (16636 rep) | Q: How to convince a family member to stop victimizing themselves? (score: 6) | posted 33 hours ago by Asteria (140 rep)
2:37 PM
#12122 sphennings (4877 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward? (score: -1) | posted 11 minutes ago by Arthas (1244 rep)
@sphennings My sister is a rather sensitive person and I'd prefer not to repeat a very clinical analysis of why she's ruining conversations to her. I'd like to figure out a way to tell her without making her feel totally bad about it. — Arthas 37 secs ago
#12122 Arthas (1244 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward? (score: -1) | posted 14 minutes ago by Arthas (1244 rep)
#12122 gl_prout (333 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward? (score: -1) | posted 14 minutes ago by Arthas (1244 rep)
I'm not sure I see where the difficulty is here. If you're wanting to bring it up in a way that avoids hurting her, helps her grow, or any other goal - you need to make that clear. Otherwise the answer is effectively "just tell her". (It also feels like the actual IPS problem is between her and who she speaks to, not directly your problem to be solved - making this difficult to answer properly) — Bilkokuya 1 min ago
#12122 Bilkokuya (1178 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward? (score: -1) | posted 14 minutes ago by Arthas (1244 rep)
@Bilkokuya I clarified my question. The interpersonal question for me here is how to avoid hurting her because I could easily see her shutting down after being told she's been "messing up" conversations. — Arthas 45 secs ago
#12122 Arthas (1242 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward? (score: -2) | posted 19 minutes ago by Arthas (1242 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by Arthas (1242 rep)
I've edited based on the context of your original post, this should be clearer as to the interpersonal problem, and required feedback that you are looking for. — Digitalsa1nt 48 secs ago
#12122 Digitalsa1nt (1233 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward? (score: -1) | posted 22 minutes ago by Arthas (1247 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Digitalsa1nt (1233 rep)
I don't think the solution is appropriate. It attempts to avoid the issue by making excuses or passively trying to get them to give up. Frankly when it comes to refusal skills, a strong "no" and a truthful reason are the best solution. — mbomb007 41 secs ago
#12046 mbomb007 (168 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 4) | posted 28 hours ago by Astralbee (8305 rep)
You're presenting a false choice though. The choice is not "eat with your mouth open" or "starve to death", that's preposterous. — WhatEvil 19 secs ago
#2421 WhatEvil (330 rep) | A: How to tell someone that they are eating with their mouth open? (score: -1) | posted 208 days ago by user3169 (1457 rep)
3:21 PM
I feel like you did a poor job describing the issue. How old is she for starters? I don't even know how to ask for more details because I don't have a clue what direction this should take. So your sister has other interest than you and you don't want to hear about them in detail, that sounds like the most normal thing on this planet to me — Raditz_35 1 min ago
#12122 Raditz_35 (192 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 1) | posted 55 minutes ago by Arthas (1260 rep) | edited 27 minutes ago by Arthas (1260 rep)
@Raditz_35 I've clarified what you've asked. And it isn't about not wanting to hear about her interests; it's about her bringing them up at times where it very clearly disrupts the flow of conversation. I don't think I implied mental health issues, but I've clarified that she does not suffer from a mental health issue; she's just more sensitive than the average person. — Arthas 1 min ago
#12122 Arthas (1260 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Arthas (1260 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by Arthas (1260 rep)
#12038 Maxim (2540 rep) | Q: How to convince a family member to stop victimizing themselves? (score: 6) | posted 35 hours ago by Asteria (140 rep)
#12125 Raditz_35 (192 rep) | A: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 0) | posted 18 minutes ago by Tay W (21 rep)
@Spagirl "How can I respond...?" "Ignore those comments". Seems like an answer to me, even if it's not a particularly high quality one. — NotThatGuy 1 min ago
#12003 NotThatGuy (1939 rep) | A: How can I respond to well-meaning comments at the gym? (score: -1) | posted 2 days ago by horse hair (115 rep)
oh boy, now we are into a discussion on perceptions. If I understand what you have said correctly then I agree a compliment has to be believed to be true by both the giver and the receiver if it is going to have a positive affect on them. — Dan Anderson 49 secs ago
#12005 Dan Anderson (6394 rep) | A: How can I respond to well-meaning comments at the gym? (score: 4) | posted 2 days ago by English Student (7532 rep) | edited 59 hours ago by English Student (7532 rep)
I'd love to see some sources on the blanket statements made about compliments and their social value/meaning here... any chance you can dig some up? — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#12005 Tinkeringbell (16636 rep) | A: How can I respond to well-meaning comments at the gym? (score: 4) | posted 2 days ago by English Student (7532 rep) | edited 59 hours ago by English Student (7532 rep)
@miyoku I think you'll be surprised how often other people think like you do in general. I also think you'll be very surprised how often people will forgive you for having a different opinion their own. If you are truly unable to speak your mind at all that seems like an unhealthy situation to me. Of course I'm speaking from a USA cultural perspective. — Dan Anderson 1 min ago
#12083 Dan Anderson (6394 rep) | A: How to convey interest while someone tries to engage me in small talk? (score: 5) | posted 18 hours ago by Dan Anderson (6394 rep)
#12003 Spagirl (8636 rep) | A: How can I respond to well-meaning comments at the gym? (score: -1) | posted 2 days ago by horse hair (115 rep)
@Tinkeringbell sorry my beliefs on this point are informed my my lifes experience. Though there is a great Psychology Today article, I read recently psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200403/the-art-the-compliment. They stated that compliments "work only if they are sincere reflections of what we think and if they are given freely and not coerced. Compliments backfire if they are not genuine. " — Dan Anderson 1 min ago
#12005 Dan Anderson (6394 rep) | A: How can I respond to well-meaning comments at the gym? (score: 4) | posted 2 days ago by English Student (7532 rep) | edited 2 days ago by English Student (7532 rep)
Tristan, I'm really sorry but we can't tell you what to do. Whether you seek the help of a psychiatrist to see if your friend is correct or not is your choice, and it's not a matter of Interpersonal Skills. If you want to ask how to tell your friend to stop saying this to you, we might be able to do that. Can you please edit your question to clarify what you want from us? — Catija ♦ 8 secs ago
#12127 Catija (10247 rep) | Q: My friend thinks I'm autistic. What do I do? (score: 0) | posted 2 minutes ago by Tristan de Jager (1 rep)
Spot on. I've dealt with a number of people who behave the way OP's sister is described. It is my experience that all of them have felt that their needs for human connection were not being met. Very insightful answer. — Dan Anderson 1 min ago
#12125 Dan Anderson (6394 rep) | A: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by Tay W (41 rep)
I was very tempted to write my own answer and basically repeat the answer from Tay W, but I'll make it a comment instead. Your sister need to feel like you, and the rest of the family are interested in her (and by extension her interests) Once she feels confident that you will have conversations with her about what she cares about, the interruptions will probably stop on their own. — Dan Anderson 27 secs ago
#12122 Dan Anderson (6394 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 4) | posted 2 hours ago by Arthas (1275 rep) | edited 40 minutes ago by Arthas (1275 rep)
@DanAnderson, I meant the statements made in the answer, the ones like Compliments are the "currency" of friendly social interaction , but maybe EnglishStudent can work that link into the answer somewhere ;) — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#12005 Tinkeringbell (16636 rep) | A: How can I respond to well-meaning comments at the gym? (score: 4) | posted 2 days ago by English Student (7532 rep) | edited 2 days ago by English Student (7532 rep)
Fair enough, @Tinkeringbell... guess I'll let this answer "sediment" down here then ;) — AnoE 42 secs ago
#12108 AnoE (1846 rep) | A: How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard? (score: -2) | posted 6 hours ago by AnoE (1846 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by AnoE (1846 rep)
#12123 Spagirl (8656 rep) | A: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Astralbee (8314 rep)
#12127 Tristan de Jager (1 rep) | Q: My friend thinks I'm autistic. What do I do? (score: 0) | posted 21 minutes ago by Tristan de Jager (1 rep)
@Raditz_35 she 'may feel x', 'she could be feeling Y' don't read like assumptions to me so much as they read as suggestions as to what might be going on with her. — Spagirl 9 secs ago
#12125 Spagirl (8656 rep) | A: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 4) | posted 1 hours ago by Tay W (61 rep)
@TristandeJager someone else has told you that they think you are autistic, take that at face value in that it's their opinion. Spend some time thinking about how you feel. Do you think they are right, or that they might be? If the answer is yes then you can do a lot more by actually knowing the truth. It'll help you deal with this in the best way. That said I can't tell you what you need to do, this is really a decision only you can make. — Digitalsa1nt 38 secs ago
#12127 Digitalsa1nt (1233 rep) | Q: My friend thinks I'm autistic. What do I do? (score: 0) | posted 27 minutes ago by Tristan de Jager (1 rep)
I like this. Any kind of "ethics" response will put them on the defensive and maybe make them dislike you, which is not what you want. As an example, I eat meat but have vegan friends. They don't challenge me but I know their views and because of this, I will not eat meat in front of them, because I respect them and value their friendship. As it happens, I am eating meat less and less these days anyway because I think they have a point. I just needed the time to make my own choice rather than have it forced on me. So the key is always respect, even for views you find disgusting and wrong. — GrahamB 55 secs ago
#11749 GrahamB (101 rep) | A: How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me? (score: 102) | posted 6 days ago by Spagirl (8666 rep) | edited 6 days ago by Spagirl (8666 rep)
You don't mention your age, which is a very key component in what a good answer might be. There's probably different strategies for answering your question if you're 17 vs if you're 35. From your situation, I can deduce you haven't been living with her for quite some time, which means you're most likely over 25. But still it's good to mention this fact because, like I said above, it's very relevant. — Radu Murzea 1 min ago
#12021 Radu Murzea (101 rep) | Q: How to get along with a parent that has painfully different views & values? (score: 2) | posted 46 hours ago by cr0 (263 rep)
5:16 PM
A note to the answerers: Remember, not every asker is too lazy to do it. Others are honestly overwhelmed -- some because they just don't understand the work, some because they have a lot of other homework and no time to do it, and some because of pressure they feel to get better grades. So whatever you do, OP, please be sympathetic towards these poor souls. — Shawn V. Wilson 1 min ago
#12043 Shawn V. Wilson (101 rep) | Q: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 31) | posted 32 hours ago by user8979192 (156 rep) | edited 10 hours ago by user8979192 (156 rep)
5:35 PM
the only thing I could add is: make these relevant to the conversation. For instance, if the group conversation is about construction cranes, blurting out about the Academy Awards show or random politics would most be likely be somewhat off-putting. — baldPrussian 53 secs ago
#12083 baldPrussian (9255 rep) | A: How to convey interest while someone tries to engage me in small talk? (score: 6) | posted 20 hours ago by Dan Anderson (6434 rep)
Is color (and choosing colors) an essential part of your business, or was this just an incidental conversation? The answer for this might be very different for, say, an interior design firm (may want to pick colors that appeal to the colorblind client, even if they don't work for people with different vision) versus a web design firm (need to pick colors that work for the widest variety of viewers) versus an accounting agency (may want to sidestep the issue altogether). — 1006a 1 min ago
#12115 1006a (1487 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 3) | posted 4 hours ago by Belle-Sophie (544 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Belle-Sophie (544 rep)
It can be terrifying to be thought of as "not normal" But normal is not as normal as most people think. And Autism is really nothing to be scared of. I had a close friend who has Asperger's he was a great guy, and very intelligent. Temple Grandin is Autistic and she is a college professor. Knowledge is always good, because it helps us make better decisions. Sometimes though it can be scary. I would recommend setting up the appointment and asking your friend or a parent to go with you for support. Knowing yourself will only make your life better in the long run. — Dan Anderson 11 secs ago
#12127 Dan Anderson (6434 rep) | Q: My friend thinks I'm autistic. What do I do? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Tristan de Jager (6 rep)
For those who voted to close. I think sometimes in this community we get hung up on the rules and forget to consider the people who are asking the questions. I've seen a number of times were the OP was clearly in great emotional distress. Closing their question feels to the OP as if you are shutting the door in their face when they have come asking you for help. If you feel it your duty to close the question fine, please reach out to them in the comments to give support and advice. Remember that it is not the questions that matter, it's the people asking the question. — Dan Anderson 1 min ago
#12127 Dan Anderson (6434 rep) | Q: My friend thinks I'm autistic. What do I do? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Tristan de Jager (6 rep)
#12105 ash last (1 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: -5) | posted 9 hours ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by Spagirl (8706 rep) | Has magic comment
#12021 cr0 (263 rep) | Q: How to get along with a parent that has painfully different views & values? (score: 2) | posted 47 hours ago by cr0 (263 rep)
6:15 PM
@Spagirl thats just saying the same differently and i really think it should be left to the op to specify those things. It's a complete shot in the dark, I assume based on personal experience rather than the information given - see I state what I assume - and excuse me but that would be unacceptable on any other se I can think of. I see that it's a bit softer here, still it should be stated that a lot had been assumed that maybe would be worthy a comment for clarification. A 27 year old that doesn't communicate well with the family, she must bottle up and her primal urges are unfulfilled? — Raditz_35 25 secs ago
#12125 Raditz_35 (192 rep) | A: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 5) | posted 2 hours ago by Tay W (71 rep)
#12128 AllTheKingsHorses (2914 rep) | A: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 8) | posted 1 hours ago by MichaelM (81 rep)
6:26 PM
A relative of mine had your same problem, in particular with Latin translations. Trying to disincentivize these requests he decided to charge for money. After a while he decided to stop the business, because it was getting ridicolous and even people outside his class started asking him to do their homework. — Bakuriu 26 secs ago
#12043 Bakuriu (101 rep) | Q: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 31) | posted 33 hours ago by user8979192 (156 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by user8979192 (156 rep)
I'd argue it strongly depends on the topic and context. If you are with family, do people really state such things like they don't ask for your opinion? If you openly tell something at a gathering, you invite people to argue ... — Raditz_35 50 secs ago
#12130 Raditz_35 (192 rep) | Q: When/how is it appropriate to ask someone to back up a claim they make in conversation? (score: 0) | posted 35 minutes ago by Neith (1 rep)
#12122 Lightness Races in Orbit (345 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 4) | posted 4 hours ago by Arthas (1275 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Arthas (1275 rep)
6:38 PM
@Raditz_35 Feel free to ask more specific questions. I've provided as many details as I think are necessary to the scenario. If you think something else is important, you'll have to ask. I'm not sure this SE's take on stating assumptions as part of answers, but it might make a good question on the meta if it already doesn't exist. — Arthas 8 secs ago
#12125 Arthas (1275 rep) | A: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 5) | posted 3 hours ago by Tay W (71 rep)
@DanAnderson being diagnosed by someone who doesn't know what he is talking about doesn't strike me as an emergency. Anyhow, instead of writing a comment in a closed topic, I have found it more fruitful in the se format to take it to the meta. Most likely they already have a discussion, too lazy to ckeck — Raditz_35 17 secs ago
#12127 Raditz_35 (192 rep) | Q: My friend thinks I'm autistic. What do I do? (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by Tristan de Jager (6 rep)
@arthras i'm fine thanks. Not my point, my point is thinking a bit more about making very strong statements without any need for them in any discussion. It's not about rules of this se really either for me as well, as I said I don't dislike the answer for this format. I might state the same anywhere — Raditz_35 14 secs ago
#12125 Raditz_35 (192 rep) | A: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 5) | posted 3 hours ago by Tay W (71 rep)
#12130 Maxim (2540 rep) | Q: When/how is it appropriate to ask someone to back up a claim they make in conversation? (score: 0) | posted 52 minutes ago by Neith (1 rep)
This is a highly relevant scene from Little Miss Sunshine: youtube.com/watch?v=zcLlq4Lml7A Sure, this is fictionalized, but learning about colorblindness so suddenly can be an emotional punch. — Rocky just now
#12115 Rocky (101 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 6) | posted 5 hours ago by Belle-Sophie (561 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Belle-Sophie (561 rep)
None issue. When you grow older people stop looking at you. So either enjoy current situation or wait some years for the ideal solution. — gast128 13 secs ago
#11785 gast128 (101 rep) | Q: As a woman, how to avoid angry stares from other people's wives or girlfriends (score: 91) | posted 6 days ago by Replica (446 rep) | edited 57 hours ago by JAD (3513 rep)
@user30031 That's true. She most likely has some kind of minor social disorder, but nothing I could categorize outside of saying she's sensitive. I will clarify my question by saying she has no diagnosed conditions. — Arthas 13 secs ago
#12122 Arthas (1280 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 5) | posted 4 hours ago by Arthas (1280 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Arthas (1280 rep)
@Arthas you are quick to say say she doesn't have "mental issues", but it bears clarifying that she has no undiagnosed condition. Social disorders are recently being considered more of a sliding-scale than a yes-or-no situation, so she could very well be missing social cues and more patience is required in addressing such an issue. — user30031 1 min ago
#12122 user30031 (101 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 5) | posted 4 hours ago by Arthas (1280 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Arthas (1280 rep)
If they're having trouble initiating the getting together to study part, then OP can take the initiative and invite the "problem" friends to come study -- then they will have the tools they need to complete the work themselves, yet (should) still feel OP helped them. — Doktor J 17 secs ago
#12045 Doktor J (101 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 40) | posted 33 hours ago by Ahsan9981 (391 rep) | edited 32 hours ago by Ahsan9981 (391 rep)
I think your answer could profit greatly from deleting the last part. It's very opportunistic to think like that. For some people there are things worth breaking relationships over, especially if they are not firm anyhow. There are also people that like being confronted and argued with quite intensely. I got one of my best friends by passionately disagreeing with him for an hour about his most favourite thing. The saving face, being kind, be careful not to anger anyone approach is not always ideal for everyone. — Raditz_35 1 min ago
#12132 Raditz_35 (192 rep) | A: When/how is it appropriate to ask someone to back up a claim they make in conversation? (score: -2) | posted 16 minutes ago by Kino (1 rep)
Probably means each person gets whatever his hourly rate is per week, so if he earns $20 an hour then each person gets $20 a week — MCP_infiltrator 1 min ago
#12128 MCP_infiltrator (126 rep) | A: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 8) | posted 2 hours ago by MichaelM (81 rep)
I am left wondering how the person dealt with traffic lights. My brother-in-law is color-blind and unable to tell the difference in color between red and green in a traffic light - has to use the position of the brightest. How did this client handle that? Was it a problem? Are traffic lights done different in the Netherlands? — AgapwIesu 12 secs ago
#12115 AgapwIesu (101 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 6) | posted 5 hours ago by Belle-Sophie (561 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Belle-Sophie (561 rep)
#12130 Richard U (6119 rep) | Q: When/how is it appropriate to ask someone to back up a claim they make in conversation? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Neith (6 rep)
7:16 PM
Yes, if I get a raise at work, first thing I do is adjust our direct deposit to match my current hourly rate — MichaelM 14 secs ago
#12128 MichaelM (81 rep) | A: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 8) | posted 2 hours ago by MichaelM (81 rep)
7:43 PM
@Spagirl That's a fair point. I suppose my comment is more relevant to everyday life than professional interactions. — Roijan Eskor 1 min ago
#12115 Roijan Eskor (300 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 11) | posted 6 hours ago by Belle-Sophie (586 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Belle-Sophie (586 rep)
7:56 PM
Something that stood out to me is that you used an example where people were discussing sports, and she entered the discussion to bring up a different topic only she was interested in. From that example it is at least possible that this tangent was a deliberate attempt to derail the conversation because the topic of "sports" was seen as "Arbitrary Niche Sports Media", and the person identified as "Sister" may have felt excluded from the conversation and wanted to remind everyone else that some topics are not interesting to all conversants. — Darren 1 min ago
#12122 Darren (103 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 7) | posted 5 hours ago by Arthas (1290 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Arthas (1290 rep)
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