The Awkward Silence

Extroverted Main Man

02:59

0

I'm Japanese, and as typically Japanase people, I'm shy. Whan I was in elementary school, I was very confident of myself so I was showy if anything. But as I get older, I had less confident and became shy. I think this is because I became compare myself to others(maybe caused my mother, I hardly ...

avazula

06:20

I command y'all have a good morning! :D

JAD

o7 aye aye

Ælis

08:19

Hey @ElizB! I might be wrong but it seems like you don't flag as NAA when you post a comment asking for backup. Can I ask you why?

avazula

gasps! Sounds like grounding to me :p

Journeyman Geek

@avazula it started terrible, but its better now ;p

(dog's been sick.)

avazula

oh no! Hope they're okay now :/

Journeyman Geek

08:35

He is

The vet was pretty fantastic.

avazula

yay :)

JAD

09:02

ok wtf

I am in the process of applying for life insurance

for that, you have to answer a bunch of medical questions

one of the followup questions they wanted to know was the following: "From when till when were you suffering from Asperger?"

As if it's something that comes and goes

Ælis

So, I had some urgent test to run this morning. But someone made a modification to the first page of the app I was testing (remove ids and other stuff) so then, none of my tests were working anymore!! Grrr (now I'm currently waiting for my ids to come back)

CaldeiraG

09:18

Morning o/

0

A: How to inform a friend about my will of ending the relationship?

Thank you all for taking the time to understand my question better. Thank you also for giving me plenty of useful advice and asking me questions that actually helped me think about why I wanted to do this, from all facets. I talked to him today for about 3 hours and I was able to achieve what I w...

I'm actually proud of the answer the OP gave, they both had a heartfelt conversation and actually talked and reached a deal without "extreme" measures :)

Ælis

10:36

@CaldeiraG Why don't you upvote it if you like it? ^^'

avazula

@JAD o_o

JAD

It looks like it's a copy-replace questionnaire, since the same questions are asked about Dysthymia

ankii

@CaldeiraG I retracted my close vote too. There were 2, now 1.

@JAD doesnt look like they're aware of what they're printing..

Caldeira (I hope it's the name) (Cal is better though,) it's hard to go to extremes when OP is cool enough to sit back, think, post a question and considers help. Extreme people don't visit IPS for suggestions I guess.

Loved the Grrr @Ælis!

JAD

@ankii It's kinda braindead. It looks very much to me like they have some binary decision tree: "mentions mental affliction yes/no, if yes, send additional questions"

ankii

emphasis on mentions

JAD

10:50

eh, they explicitly ask for it

ankii

I hope they simply dont filter the mentions out.

Oh life insurance, I thought it was job

CaldeiraG

@Ælis Well, i was busy typing here and forgot to upvote :p but i did now

@ankii Cal is fine for me :) by extreme I mean, ending abruptly the friendship without a clear explanation

ankii

Ah that's better ..

CaldeiraG

I was going to frame challenge that question

But not in the mood yesterday to write an answer :p

JAD

11:07

@ankii oh yeah, that's a relevant distinction lol

avazula

11:53

eyeballs-requested | (flagged as NAA) | I'm doubtful about this one, should it be deleted? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/23029/4550

personal XP is little so I'm unsure whether it should go or if it's just judged by the community as not really useful for the given situation

M.A.R.

Ugh, dangit :/

I came here to escape all the noise outside, and look at the star board.

avazula

@M.A.R. TAS is pretty safe for that, no worries

@M.A.R. how's it going for you?

M.A.R.

Pretty great! You?

ankii

That is long gone and is just a forewarning. TCS has also refrained from chatting about it.

avazula

heh, glad to hear that! :) I'm good

ankii

12:05

@avazula I feel latter. It is a rude approach, thus a bit hated, but technically a solution.

can't say I haven't used it.

M.A.R.

@avazula Uh, to me it seems like the whole point of such a post would be how to avoid running into a situation like that in the future.

Is the point of interpersonal skills being a smartass, or not getting into a fight whenever something happens?

I'm overgeneralizing but I hope you know what I mean.

@ankii Google says Tata Consultancy Services

India-based

ankii

yes I dont know how I missed this.. maybe it doesnt come to out college for hiring.

oh F

I meant TSR, But TCS isn't talking about it either. so it fits.

Ælis

@ankii Maybe you could translate and tell us what are thise two chatrooms? ^^

ankii

12:20

The Screening Room

“We are all the pieces of what we remember. We hold in ourselv...

1

TCS was a mistake unless it exists. it is an India based company.

Ælis

Oh, right, thanks for the link ^^

ankii

answerer didnt reply to your comment on answer that Ava asked eyes for.

guess I'd downvote it too

M.A.R.

12:36

@ankii Haha, between you and me, I think Ankit cares more about Shah Rukh Khan's next movie.

Don't tell him I said that.

Actually, definitely don't, because it might look like a compliment.

ankii

@M.A.R. I definitely care very less about his movies.. I started ignoring them long time ago..

doesnt seem so charming to me.

he doesnt visit this room... he won't know unless someone quotes it there.. .;)

M.A.R.

I'm not an avid Bollywood follower, so my impression is probably flawed, but it seems like Iran, just on a larger and more financially focused scale.

Our cinema used to be great.

The latest TV series make me ashamed of even being connected to them by mere nationality.

ankii

you could put some Iran-i movie on Movie of the day there...

M.A.R.

Pretentious highfalutin sprinkled with state propaganda produced by people that don't know or care.

ankii

ah yes, @Ælis TSR is great for movie recommendations. Just search Movie of the day

@M.A.R. propaganda is what Russians do in their TV. rest all are dwarfed by it.

No offence to anyone, I am pointing to Chernobyl.

M.A.R.

12:44

@ankii IIRC @Ælis is not really interested in a wide range of movies.

ankii

then it's for everyone gotten free time. ;p

M.A.R.

@ankii Distorting facts is despicable everywhere. Doesn't need a competition.

ankii

my tolerance is definitely sensitive to scale of distortion.

I usually read wiki etc for some factual reference in such cases

bye tho..

M.A.R.

See ya

@ankii Hey, if some pedant were around, you would have gotten a "Don't refer to Wikipedia as wiki!"

They're kinda right

And have made me grown quite sensitive about it

No, don't do it, don't you say it!

Dangit.

DON'T REFER TO WIKIPEDIA AS WIKI! Phew, that was relieving

2

Journeyman Geek

@M.A.R. Ok. I'll see what the wiki says about it...

Rainbacon

12:55

@M.A.R. wait, why?

M.A.R.

@Rainbacon I dunno, not enough of a Wikipedian to understand them

But I guess "wiki" means "resource" or something.

Even if it's a term coined by Wikipedia. I dunno the etymology

Ælis

I just realize, since I hit the 200 rep cap, I can downvote a lot of IPS questions/answers for "free"! This is giving a lots of ideas to evil me :p

Rainbacon

@JAD I mean, my symptoms certainly have more impact on me some days than others, but I'm not sure I'd say that it goes away entirely

Journeyman Geek

@M.A.R. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WikiWikiWeb

M.A.R.

@Ælis Shh, don't say that when the blue name is watching . . .

Ælis

12:59

@M.A.R. Don't worry, the blue name who is currently watching isn't an IPS mod :p

M.A.R.

@JourneymanGeek Sounds like a Hawaiian dance

JAD

@Rainbacon sure, but it's not like I could pinpoint that for yesterday, let alone the last 10 yeras

IPS Comment Bot

I personally love the idea of reading a book and discussing it or telling the story to other people. Me and my boyfriend do it a lot. We also read the same book and afterwards we see the movie adaptation(when the book has one) and discuss the differences and alikes. Its a pleasant and low energy activity two can carry easily. — Peacekeeper 43 secs ago

M.A.R.

@JAD TBF, some similar things are asked of most patients

I mean, patients with a serious condition

I guess it speaks more about the mindset.

JAD

13:14

@M.A.R. eh, it's similar to asking an amputee when they didn't have their limb. It's just not something that turns on and off

M.A.R.

Turning arm on

IPS Comment Bot

15:06

Offering "nice pictures" when trying to not be a creepy online guy might be not the best vibe here. Otherwise I agree with your answer. — infinitezero 1 min ago

#23045 infinitezero (279 rep) | A: How to make a gift without seeming creepy? (score: 43) | posted 25 hours ago by Ælis (9150 rep) | Toxicity 0.26990682 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

Rainbacon

@IPSCommentBot fp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught incorrectly (fp). Currently marked 0tps/1fps

Ælis

15:29

@scohe001 Nice joke :p And thanks for the suggest phrasing, I'm not sure I would have been able to make something not loaded up (since I'm not a native, I might have not see the issue)

scohe001

Yea, I figured it was an English issue. We wouldn't really say "nice photos" like that casually, so it's pretty easy to interpret it with a sexual tone. Glad you liked my phrasing :D

avazula

Joke? Where? :D

I could use a good laugh. I always do!

Ælis

@avazula It's nice that you are asking since it's some comments that can be cleaned now :p interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/23043/… (Mouahaha, I'm evil :p )

scohe001

15:44

slate.com/technology/2019/09/…

Sometimes I think it's not the best that America hosts all the tech giants and paves the way for the tech world :/

avazula

@Ælis poof! gone. Thanks for the good laugh :D

@scohe001 :(

scohe001

On a happier note though, I discovered yesterday that the secret to a happy pig bath is just a little bit of peanut butter on the wall

media.giphy.com/media/Q8ToFoPFunhXVpTYs4/giphy.mp4

Rainbacon

16:00

That's amazing, I wonder if I could get something to work like that with a cat

scohe001

Do cats like peanut butter?

Rainbacon

I don't think cats like anything

scohe001

Lol hmm. That is a conundrum.

I guess a better question would be "do cats tolerate peanut butter?"

Rainbacon

Yeah, I envision that the peanut butter would work with a dog, but it might need to be something else for a cat

Em C

@scohe001 awwww

@Rainbacon my cat likes SO MANY foods.. even foods she should definitely not like :P

Rainbacon

16:03

@EmC Oh, which ones?

Em C

things with garlic and chocolate in them are the usual problems, those aren't good for cats

I've also caught her licking a coffee mug -__-

Rainbacon

garlic, interesting. I didn't know that was bad for cats

Em C

our other cat loves anything coconut, and if you spray whipped cream from a can he comes running

it's pretty funny to watch

scohe001

@EmC Lol that sounds hilarious

Rainbacon

The only time our cat comes running is when I get up in the morning

Em C

16:06

haha yeah both our cats get very excited about that, because it means (or they think it means) breakfast

Rainbacon

Yep, that's exactly it. Interestingly, as I've learned this week. If my wife gets up first and feeds the cat, she still runs to me and tries to get me to feed her when I get up, but if I get up and feed her, she doesn't try to get extra food from my wife. I guess she thinks I'm more gullible

Em C

hahaha

scohe001

Looks like even the cats know not to try to mess with mom :p

Rainbacon

Well, she's had the cat longer than she's had me

scohe001

Dang. That's actually a funny way of thinking about it

scohe001

16:40

Just saw your comment @Rain. 110% agree. I think you said it a lot better than I did too

NVZ

sad day on se.

Ælis

@NVZ No talking about that in this chat please :)

NVZ

happy to be on ips, as always

scohe001

@NVZ sad week :/ but we'll pull through I'm sure. It's just a question of how the rest of the landscape will look :/

Em C

18:05

we have enough programmers in this room that you might appreciate this meme I just saw:

Ælis

x)

Em C

I'm working in Java and.. yep that about sums up my code right now :P

Ælis

I kind of envy you. Lately pretty much all I have done is run my tests and tell the devs: "It's not working", "still not working", "nope, still not". I miss actually having to write some code...

Em C

:(

that sounds really frustrating, having to wait on them

Ælis

Well, they too have to wait on me. But yes, interdependance like that is not fun. I wish they could run my tests without my help, but it's not currently possible. And the project we are testing (and who isn't working!!!) has priority however: making my test runnable by everyone

Rainbacon

18:15

@EmC Java is rough, but it must be nice having types though

Em C

@Rainbacon true that ;)

Ælis

In other news, I'm planning on visiting a shelter this weekend. I'm thinking more and more about adopting a cat and, well, I guess visiting a shelter will help me make up my mind (to be accurate, I already know that I want a cat someday, but I want to help my mind switch this "someday" to "soon" or "now")

Em C

@Ælis :D take pictures?

Ælis

@EmC I don't want to get attach by a cat I finaly won't adopt, so I don't think I will take pictures but, once I have a cat, I will definitively do :D (I'll probably even flood all of you with pictures :p )

Em C

deal :D

Ælis

18:22

In the meantime, if anyone wants to share pets pictures with me, I'm "all eyes" :p

Em C

^ that's my kitty stalking peanut butter cookies on my desk

(from a week ago or so, but the most recent good picture I have of her :P)

scohe001

@EmC LOL this is gold

Ælis

@EmC Aaawww, so cute <3

scohe001

@EmC also this one's a cutie. I guess cats do like peanut butter :p

Em C

haha yep

I have a pic of her trying to steal cookies somewhere too

Ælis

18:33

@scohe001 I didn't told you before, but Finley (do I remember the name correctly?) is also very cute on this video :D (I guess just seeing animals is making my heart melt these days ^^)

scohe001

@Ælis haha thank you! You got his name right, btw :)

Em C

6

scohe001

Omg this is incredible

Caught red-pawed

Ælis

*-*

Em C

she can be very persistent too :P

but she usually tries to be sneaky about it

Ælis

18:38

I want to hug your cat sooooo much * - *

Em C

aww.. sadly she doesn't like hugs :c

scohe001

Speaking of cat paws, I've got an @AJ style joke for you: What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

Ælis

@EmC Well then, good thing I'm living far away :p

Em C

@Ælis hehe. yeah, she's very much a "I will decide when you are allowed to pet me" sort of kitty :P

Ælis

@scohe001 No idea but the "AJ style joke" made me laught :p

Rainbacon

18:40

Hmm, I was going to upload a cat photo, but it appears that mobile chat won't let me

scohe001

A cat has paws at the end of its claws, while a comma has a clause at the end of its pause!

3

Ælis

@EmC At least she knows how to properly train her humans :p

Em C

@scohe001 lol that's a good one

(unlike my chat replying skills)

HDE 226868

@EmC I love that.

Ælis

@Rainbacon They might be jealous :p ("chat" in French = "cat" in English)

@EmC Did you also star the wrong message? x)

Em C

18:43

@Ælis argh

Rainbacon

Em C

race conditions :P

Rainbacon

There we go. Just had to go pull it down to my computer from the cloud

Em C

@Rainbacon so pretty!!

scohe001

@Rainbacon why does your cat look like an evil overload O_O (but like a gorgeous evil overlord)

Rainbacon

18:44

Yeah, she's pretty cute

@scohe001 Oh, she's definitely trying to rule the world

Ælis

@Rainbacon She look so jaded x)

Rainbacon

Yeah, she usually does look like that

scohe001

Oh also I think I forgot to tell you guys, but a few weekends ago, we tried to help Finley develop some interpersonal skills

Turns out he's got a long way to go

Ælis

I believe you already told us, but you didn't share that picture, so that's nice :)

scohe001

Ahh my b

Rainbacon

18:53

What did he do that says he has a long way to go?

scohe001

He kinda sniffed at the dog (who ignored him) and then walked off to continue looking for food lol he's a little anti-social for now

We tried again this past weekend with some more energetic dogs and every time they'd approach him, he'd run off. So I think we just need to get him more used to other animals. (which means more piggy-playdates)

Rainbacon

Well, at least he didn't bite the dog

scohe001

Oof yea. Or vice versa.

As a prey animal, he'd really only try to attack like that if he really felt backed into a corner

Rainbacon

Hmm, he looks pretty backed into a corner in that photo

scohe001

Lol nah, he was fine there because the dog just stood there ignoring him the whole time. But the others from this weekend would run up to him or jump at him.

Extroverted Main Man

19:18

0

Q: Ego, jealousy issues among junior colleagues in small group

Is there any way (diplomatic or otherwise) out to handle serious ego & jealousy issues among junior colleagues by a leader of small working group. On few occasions, we find individuals breaking down emotionally when they realize somebody within the group is performing better than them although th...

jealousy

Rainbacon

@ExtrovertedMainMan Right now that looks like a what should I do

Ælis

@Rainbacon Honestly, there isn't enough detail in it for it to be a "what should I do", IMO

Rainbacon

"what should be the approach of the group leader; allow the individual to leave or to pacify the individual to carry on."

Ælis

@Rainbacon Didn't even spotted this one. They should really be interogation mark on it, that would at least start to make the question clearer

Rainbacon

Yeah

@Ælis I really need to write some answers. While your rep has been going up, mine went down today :(

Em C

19:34

I started writing an answer to that meta about adding backup last week.. then other things happened.. still need to finish it :/

and I just got comments on another meta answer that I need to respond to

no rep for that though :P

Ælis

@Rainbacon Arf :/ Also, you might want to try asking questions too. At least, with questions, you don't need to come up with the relevant experience or other form of backup. Also, it gives me a chance to answer more stuff and gain rep quicker :p

@EmC I would be curious to read that answer. You really shouldn't teasing me about such things :p

Em C

19:55

@Ælis haha, right now it's a lot of half-finished thoughts in a doc.. knowing there's people waiting to read it helps with motivation :D

Ælis

Yay \o/

In case you are wondering, this is how social I am:

x)

Rainbacon

Haha, you'd do great in NYC

Ælis

Thank you (what do you mean, "that's not really a compliment?") :p

Rainbacon

It's a commonly discussed thing that true New Yorkers close the elevator doors before others can get in

TheTinyMan

20:18

randomly wanders back in I feel like the rest of the crowds that I hear are in NYC make that not worth it for her :-p

Rainbacon

Nah, they'd be fine here. NYC is a great city to be in if you hate crowds

Just avoid the tourist places and Penn Station and you're fine

CaldeiraG

@Ælis \o/ XD

HDE 226868

NYC's great! With the exception of Midtown, if you're trying to get anywhere.

Rainbacon

@HDE226868 Honestly, I don't mind midtown too much as long as I'm in the parts that aren't Times Square, Herald Square, or Penn Station

But certainly the other parts of town are much less crowded

HDE 226868

@Rainbacon Yeah, those are the worst. . .

TheTinyMan

20:37

.. Penn Station is not a sandwich place I assume? xD

Rainbacon

@TheTinyMan Sadly not

It is in fact one of many train stations which all share a name

user58

A sandwich place would probably be more pleasant, though.

TheTinyMan

Ahhh neat!

Rainbacon

That I know of, there's one in NYC and one in Newark.

I think that the Pennsylvania railroad was a bit lazy in naming their stations

@user58 You got a new profile picture, that's going to take some getting used to

It looks nice though

user58

It's temporary.

Rainbacon

20:45

Any particular reason? Or would you rather not say?

user58

There were TL screenshots leaked publicly. I'm taking precautions.

Rainbacon

ah

Ælis

@user58 In case you need it: you are awsome. I hope you aren't too negativily affected by what is going on lately and I hope things will get better soon. Also, ouch for those public leaking. I'm sorry you have to go through that :/ Sending you all my love <3

user58

Thanks. :)

scohe001

For what it's worth, I'm with @Ælis on this one. Users 1-57 have got nothing on you :)

6

Em C

21:06

@user58 [extremely strong words].. haven't been in there today. sending happier thoughts your way <3

user58

21:23

Thanks, it means a lot to me. It's been a tough week.

Em C

I can offer cat pics :) that's our other one

CaldeiraG

21:50

@EmC Cats, yay, cute :D

@scohe001 I agree :)

Em C

@CaldeiraG he's very cute when he's sleeping ;)

CaldeiraG

This couple of days been rough about moderators :(

@EmC Sweet ;p

Em C

@CaldeiraG he's cute when he's awake too, but if he's hungry.. can be annoying :P

CaldeiraG

@EmC XD aren't we all when we're hungry? :)

Em C

hahaha

ElizB

22:16

@Ælis I consider flagging it NAA when they haven't done anything to their post within 10 or so hours after I or someone else comments

it really depends. if it's a new user, I give them more time especially if the answer is a well written one, it just needs backup

user15026

22:37

@user58 Oh, I hope everything's okay <3

user15026

(Also I like your profile's ears/headband thing. It's cute.)

The Screening Room

Transcript for