The Awkward Silence

Ælis

14:00

(sorry if I'm bothering you with that everytime this subject come in ^^')

Rainb

@avazula let's say you either notice/know or get told that someone is disgusted by you, how would you react?, and no, you don't know why.

avazula

@Rainb I personally would feel terribly sad and would wonder why

but I'm too sensitive ;)

Ælis

@Rainb That would be awfull :/

Rainb

What would be the ideal way to react...?

avazula

@Ælis no worries :) well, Idk... work needs to be done, we should be ten people more to finish the project but here it is just the two of us, and ... voilà ...

Rainb

14:01

Eh, nevermind.

Too abstract.

avazula

@Rainb I wouldn't do anything. The person in question didn't tell you so, just act like nothing happened if you can.

Magisch

I don't suppose any of you have experience with specialized german EDI standards?

Rainb

what is EDI

avazula

@Magisch what's EDI?

Ælis

@avazula There is no such thing as being too sensitive (IMO). There are only people not caring enough about other

Magisch

14:03

some kind of automated delivery note and invoicing system

electronic data interchange

Rainb

I am not specialized in that

nor know anyone that knows about that

avazula

@Magisch erh no, sorry :/

Rainb

and I don't know anyone who could know anyone about that, either.

Magisch

Our 19 year old edi tool finally failed together with the server that ran it

avazula

:(

Magisch

14:04

now we need a new solution for edi delivery note forecasting

Rainb

oh

Ælis

@Rainb I don't think you can plan such "ideal" reaction. My "ideal" reaction would be to find a quiet and alone place to process this information, but that just me taking care of my needs. If you have other needs, than you should react differently

Rainb

what do you mean failed.

Magisch

server went kaput, and we don't have the installer, licensing key or settings for the tool no more

Termatinator

I hate my own body sometimes... the joints on my body keep disjointing and jointing back in place

Magisch

14:05

and the company that made it no longer exists

Rainb

ahh

Magisch

In fact, the guy that wrote some of the shareware in the toolchain we use died in 2017

Rainb

Ahh

avazula

@Termatinator :( lots of courage to you

Rainb

what is delivery note forecasting?

Magisch

14:06

VDA Standard 4913 type electronic delivery notes used in lieu and in advance of paper delivery notes for Just in Time manufacturing

Rainb

@Ælis Do you think it is crazy that I want to always have a plan, the truth is, when I don't, my reaction is not to react.

And not reacting begets awkwardness at some times, and trouble on other times.

ehh....

@Magisch Sounds very specific

Termatinator

@avazula I got used to it... not that I like it of course

avazula

@Termatinator I understand

Magisch

Basically when you electronically submit delivery notes just as the merchandise leaves your premises, so the recipient can plan for its arrival early, and the format is according to some specific sentence file structure thing by the german chamber of industry

and all the customers we have that use it have their own supplementary standard too

Rainb

Ohhh

so it is a shared standard?

Magisch

14:09

ish

Rainb

if that is so, isn't there an open source solution?

Magisch

no

or rather, none we can use

I have to write my own, sometime this week. Spent most of the day poring over standard documents and customer orders

Rainb

which language

Rainbacon

Fortunately, the charging one has been solved now that we've all standardized on mini-USB. Or is it micro-USB? Shit.

Magisch

php

Rainb

14:12

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah interestiing

avazula

@Magisch : pfff, horrible project

Rainbacon

@Magisch you poor little cactus

Termatinator

@Magisch guess what I'm coding right now XD

Rainbacon

@Magisch I think this is relevant here

Magisch

php gets an unfairly bad rap from time to time

if you don't code like spaghetti, it's fairly reliable and good

avazula

14:15

but there are languages that are so much better

The only time I had to use php for my backend programming, I was so sad...

Rainbacon

@avazula Literally all of them, except for javascript

avazula

@Rainbacon lol. Aren't you a JS programmer?

(among other things)

Magisch

I primarily work in javascript, php and tsql

fight me

3

Rainbacon

According to my employer I'm a "generalist", though the majority of my client work is in JS

@Magisch tsql isn't so bad

Em C

PHP was the first language I learned :D

Rainbacon

14:17

My first language was BASIC

avazula

@Rainbacon Me too!

Then Java, ugh

Magisch

like I said, php can produce clean, working and understandable code

if you don't give in to the dark side and adhere to clean code principles, and navigate around some of the stupidity in it

Rainbacon

I moved from there to Python, then C, C++, C#

avazula

@Magisch From Rainbacon's article:

> as long as there are smart enough people wrangling the things, they can overcome problems with the platform.

@Rainbacon Basic > Java > C > Assembly > C++ > Python > JS

I'm very picky when it comes to languages. C/C++ are my favs of all time, but I got used to Python.

And JS, well... It's unavoidable when you do web stuff

Rainbacon

I really like C/C++, but my favorite is Haskell (though I never get to use it at work)

avazula

14:20

@Rainbacon ha, never used that one :p

Rainbacon

I got really excited in an interview last week when the interviewer told me part of the system was written in C, but then she told me that "you'll never touch that because we need it to be really high performance" and I felt a bit insulted

avazula

Ha, my client is the best ...
coworker: "'m using your product, I wanna do XYZ but can't do it in the language your product was written with, aka Python. Could you help me?"
them: "it'd be easier doing in Java"
coworker: "..." (never coded a line in Java)

@Rainbacon oh dear o_o that ain't nice

Rainbacon

Yeah, that company and I are not a good match for one another

All they do is serve ads, and I'd rather not do that

avazula

@Rainbacon :(

Magisch

@Rainbacon The EA of B2B software companies

Termatinator

14:32

I actually like PHP

Sid

@Termatinator eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design

Em C

my favorite PHP fun fact

Imus

@EmC that explains a lot :D

Rainb

holy shit

@EmC I didn't know that

Em C

@Imus right?! that was my reaction too when I first read it

Termatinator

14:41

@Sid each to their own i guess

Em C

back in ~2005 PHP made it pretty easy to learn how to use cookies and sessions and all that, so that was nice :) I'm sure I have no idea what "real" PHP looks like nowadays tho, web technologies change so much

Ælis

@Rainb I don't find this crazy. When I don't know how to react I tend to freeze and panic, so I believe that we are really alike in this way

Rainb

@Ælis When intereacting with people I tend to think of what_ifs and making a plan that satisfies me, I should always know what to say, no matter what question they ask, or what they say, or that's the idea. If I get an unexpected response, I just leave and think about how to reply. Usually it doesn't matter by the time I have figured out, but it can be used the next time it happens.

I mean not always, of course, but that's how I think of it.

Sid

@Rainb The first part is usually my strategy too.

Rainb

I am unable to be spontaneous, or to save face in social situations.

Sid

14:56

But sometimes, what that does is, you can kinda overthink and don't interact enough in a limited time because of planning too much

Rainb

well, usually it is the only tool I have to interact with people, being caught with nothing to say it is awkward and embarassing at first, and then it is annoying.

Ælis

@Rainb A lot of people in the autism spectrum have this problem. It's also hard for me to be spontaneous and I really like having to be (like in online conversation when I have time to think about what I'm going to write)

@Rainb In those cases, I find that non-verbal communication helps

(even if it can still be a bit weird, it's better than no reaction at all)

Em C

@Sid this especially is very relatable :(

Rainb

@Sid I feel guilty of not overthinking, when I am caught in an awkward situation, tbh.

Rainbacon

I found more lemon tea!

avazula

15:02

@Rainbacon yay!

Ælis

Lemon Tree - Fools Garden

►

Sid

@noob Wrong chat, my friend.

Please go to a chatroom of stack overflow for this question

Rainbacon

I've decided that Wednesday is my most productive day of the week, because it's the day where I have the lowest average participation here in chat

Ælis

15:18

@Rainbacon Ahah XD I guess those HNQ return days are terrible for your productivity then ^^

Rainbacon

@Ælis Not yet, I was in meetings most of yesterday, so work was killing my productivity ;)

Ælis

@Rainbacon You should have been there this European morning then. Tink had to write a comment under almost all the answers I got ^^

Rainbacon

Sorry, I was asleep :p

Ælis

How dare you sleep when the world needs you!

:p

Rainbacon

Plus I was moderating well past my bedtime last night

Ælis

15:24

@Rainbacon Well then, I guess IPS indirectly kill your productivity for today after all \o/

:p

Ælis

15:40

If anyone want to do some mod work: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/21834/21067 ^^

Rainbacon

Done, I also protected your question since it's getting a lot of poor answers

Ælis

@Rainbacon Oh, I had completely forgotten about that functionality. I guess that's what 8 month out of HNQ does to you ^^

Rainbacon

15:58

It's the first time I've ever gotten to use it

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How can I make an argument that my time is valuable?

I'm a software engineer, but before that, I attempted to run my own mobile computer repair business. That business never got off the ground, so I went into a career in software development. Fairly frequently, I have people still contact me for computer repairs. Sometimes it's several times a mon...

scohe001

Ooh @Ava I love your new picture. But you're not a German Pub Girl anymore! What will I call you??

Rainbacon

@scohe001 still looks like a german pub girl to me

scohe001

German pub girls carry swords and look majestically into the distance? Germany must've changed since the last time I was there...

Ælis

@Rainbacon I never used it myself ^^

@scohe001 XD

Rainbacon

16:01

@scohe001 I mean, that's my aesthetic for german pub girls

scohe001

@Rainbacon haha I think we need to take an Awkward Silence trip to Germany for research purposes then

Rainbacon

ooh, that sounds fun

scohe001

I have always wanted to see the Beech Tree Forest...

Rainbacon

16:18

that looks nice

Mithrandir

16:34

@scohe001 Y'all can visit the cactus.

Rainbacon

@Ælis you might want to stop by here to clarify to the answerer what you want

Em C

@Rainbacon beat me to it.. I have too many tabs open :P

Rainbacon

@EmC Well, you beat me to the comment, so now we're even

Em C

:D

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

16:52

Don't beat each other. I'm sure we can find a compromise without violence.

Em C

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ (ง'̀-'́)ง

boops

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How do I deal with a friend group that I fear is making its more successful member upset?

I'm one of a close group of friends, we'll call them ABCDE and F. All of us are middle aged. Of those, A (which is not me) is quite successful; he has his own home and family, a property portfolio, and has retired in late middle age. The others have not done so well. Some have lost jobs. None ha...

united-kingdom friend-groups

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

@EmC (ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง

Syke, I got a sword

༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▬▬ι═══════ﺤ

TheTinyMan

💣

Em C

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ D: touché

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

17:00

That's a fake bomb. How can a tiny man carry a real bomb?

Rainbacon

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ Maybe the tiny man is the bomb...

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

Well, it IS some sort of a peaceful compromise

TheTinyMan

The tiny man feels like a bomb right now, primed to explode!

If everyone's dead there'll be no one left to fight! :D :D

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

I just propelled that Skeptics thing into HNQ. I'm altruistic like that.

Conditions and charges may apply.

Rainbacon

Ooh, just got my 400th LQP review task

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

17:06

That's boring. There are no badges for that.

Wait, is there a badge for posting in chat about your 400th review?

Well-played.

Now I feel like reviewing

Rainbacon

haha, no I already have all the chat badges

There are only 2

Wish there was a gold one for chat

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

'Post 10 messages that are neither PSAs nor dad jokes that get starred.'

Rainbacon

Post 5000 messages in chat with 500 total stars

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

Tempting. Tempting

I have 150k, but I dunno how many are starred

Rainbacon

Wow that's a lot

There should be a 4th level of badge: Platinum. It should be awarded only once per year. Something like, "give out more points in bounties than any other user on the site this year"

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

17:15

Suggested around 10 times in meta.SO and 20 in meta.SE

Wait till Eeps graduates and privilege reps get a buff

Rainbacon

It could be the follow up to investor and we could call it "hedge fund manager"

also, I don't think we're going to graduate for quite a while

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

Well, making it back to HNQ seems to have reinvigorated the site a bit

Or it could be because of the time of the year

Everyone becomes more of an introvert in May.

Mithrandir

17:29

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ I have a lot of catching up to do then...

Rainbacon

@Mithrandir You think you've got catching up to do...

El'endia Starman

I have 2141 stars in The Nineteenth Byte.

Rainbacon

How do you see that?

user15026

I am curious how many I have in the Bridge, how did you figure that out?

IPS Comment Bot

Have you considered that to get the legal protections you seek, you need the government's standard form? It may be complicated, but it is the cumulative result of years of landlord-tenant disputes. — El Stepherino 2 mins ago

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

El'endia Starman

17:42

My secret weapon: TNBDE.

Rainbacon

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

user15026

@El'endiaStarman Awww, not useful other places :(

El'endia Starman

Unfortunately, figuring that out for other chat rooms would require scraping their whole transcripts into a database and that's a lot of work.

Rainbacon

@El'endiaStarman So I'm assuming you have a process that scrapes new data from that room once a day or so?

El'endia Starman

17:52

@Rainbacon Yup. One moment...

I use cronjobs to run this function: github.com/elendiastarman/tnbde/blob/master/…

I think it's one every hour plus one every day.

Rainbacon

ah, nice

and now I can go creep on your github...

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

@Mithrandir You're in so many rooms it breaks chat and yet you can't catch up.

@Rainbacon No good can come of this

scohe001

18:13

@Mithrandir the cactus? Is there only one?

Mithrandir

@scohe001 Of course. He's named @Magisch.

scohe001

Oh! Didn't realize Magisch was in Germany

I thought "The Cactus" was some kind of monument there or something lol

Rainbacon

What makes you think Magisch isn't a monument?

Magisch

near frankfurt

scohe001

@Rainbacon valid

Tinkeringbell

18:42

@ExtrovertedMainMan It doesn't look like OP will be around soon to clarify their goal, but I also don't feel it should be singlehandedly modhammered closed? Any ideas?

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell I just cast the first close vote, now you can hammer it without it being singlehanded ;)

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon I'll wait until there's a few more, just to be sure it really should be closed ;)

It's... one of those where I'm thinking that we don't close all questions where people ask for more details, so why would I close this one? :/

Rainbacon

Just saw a promotional video for a former client. They had one of their people talking about how great the company is. About how they use all kinds of "brand new" technologies such as hadoop, AWS, Scala, and microsoft sql server

One of these things is not like the others

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell It sounds a bit like a "what should I do" question to me. So it's not about just asking for more details

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Hahaha

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

18:56

@Rainbacon Ow ow ow! I know this one! I KNOW THIS ONE

El'endia Starman

@Rainbacon I don't think any of these can really be considered new.

Rainbacon

@El'endiaStarman Well no, but one of them is extremely not new in comparison to the others

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

Maybe it's 'Brand knew' technologies. Russell Brand, maybe.

Or Brandon Flynn.

One thing Germans do right, BTW, is pronunciation.

scohe001

Totally read that wrong lmao

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

Well, they do kindergarten right too probably. I'm not young enough to be a good judge of that

scohe001

19:08

For some reason I thought you'd said the one thing they pronounce right is pronunciation. So I came in with the only German-English word I knew

Tinkeringbell

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/21838/1599 < now it's awkward :/

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell HAHAHAHAHAHA

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

BUUUUURN

This chat is very supportive.

Rainbacon

Proof that being an IPS mod doesn't preclude you from awkward social interactions

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

@Rainbacon The situation in that question is like them bumping into each other on the doorway of a subway train, and they move in the same direction seven times until the door closes.

Enjoy getting off a full two blocks later, Tink

Tinkeringbell

19:12

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ Verily.

IPS Comment Bot

Hey there Heather! If I may... I'd like to offer some pointers to hopefully avoid getting downvoted. Quite frankly, I think your comments to your answer would make an excellent answer. They are relevant, show personal experience, and offer a solution to OP's problem. The proposed answer itself is more of a "try this" and, although I suspect it will be successful, doesn't have the backing of your comments. It takes a little bit to get a feel for how to answer a question successfully on this forum; please don't lose heart. — baldPrussian 11 mins ago

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

@IPSCommentBot Forum? FORUM?

IPS Comment Bot

Invalid feedback type. Valid feedback types are tp, fp, rude, and wrongo

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

Sacrilege!

Tinkeringbell

19:36

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/21838/1599 < edited. Better?

(hurry, I want to shower and go to bed :P )

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell I edited it to change "should" to "can" just in case the should trips people up

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Good. Mod-reopen? :)

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell You put to "know" next to each other, but otherwise it's good ^^

@Tinkeringbell We are the same number as before and the same people, so I'll say yes :)

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis Ah! I was wondering what your edit was about. (K)now I see it :) Thank you too ;)

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell Ok, enjoy your shower :)

Tinkeringbell

19:40

@Rainbacon Will do :) See y'all tomorrow ;)

Rainbacon

You can see me? -retreats nervously

Ælis

See you :)

scohe001

Ooh that post was closed and reopened by the same people in the same order

Perfectly balanced, as all things should be

4

Rainbacon

This answer was edited to include all of the info from the comments, shall we clean them up?

scohe001

Ooh nice touchup @Ælis!

Ælis

19:52

@Rainbacon Go clean up, go!

Thanks :) I don't like a lack of line breaker, it makes text very hard for me to read ^^

Rainbacon

@Ælis and @scohe001 if you both flag them as nln, all the comments without votes will go away...

scohe001

Free helpful flags? Don't mind if I do

Rainbacon

This could use some NAA flags if you want more helpful flags

What happened to having the comment button text be "suggest improvments"?

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon That experiment ended looong ago and no-one has ever heard from it since ;)

Rainbacon

I thought that the results were positive

Tinkeringbell

20:05

@Rainbacon Yeah, a bit, also over on Workplace. But I guess they're just busy with other stuff :) Like getting us back on HNQ ;)

IPS Comment Bot

Hi Nick, welcome to IPS! This site operates a little bit differently than most on the internet. Answers are only supposed to be used to answer the question. To ask for clarification, you can use the comment feature (once you have the required rep). To indicate that you found the question useful, you can upvote it. — Rainbacon 6 secs ago

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

@IPSCommentBot -1 not botty enough

IPS Comment Bot

Invalid feedback type. Valid feedback types are tp, fp, rude, and wrongo

Tinkeringbell

@IPSCommentBot @Mithrandir Can you get Rainbacon on the Closet-to-Awkward-Silence blacklist? They don't write chatty comments and they do write a lot of comments so it's a lot of useless noise.

IPS Comment Bot

Invalid feedback type. Valid feedback types are tp, fp, rude, and wrongo

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

20:07

@Tinkeringbell Invalid feedback type. Valid feedback types are tp, fp, rude, and wrongo

Mithrandir

ninja'd

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Danke :)

scohe001

@Tinkeringbell done

Mithrandir

as in, scohe recently got a katana

scohe001

Also it's technically a whitelist ;)

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

20:07

I don't think that's called ninjaing. Unless you literally assassinated him

Tinkeringbell

@scohe001 technically ... I don't care about technically ;)

Well, seems like y'all have this under control. Night! :D

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

@Mithrandir Now that's ninjaing

scohe001

@Tinkeringbell hmm but if you're willing to tell me technically about what you care about...then doesn't that mean you do technically care about the technical? Hmmm

Night!

@Mithrandir somehow shohe ("show-hay") sounds a lot more hebrew lol

Em C

@Rainbacon \o/ glad that answer has a happy ending

Mithrandir

add a c and a t and you're slaughtering, so... a ninja

Rainbacon

21:02

I'm curious what everyone else thinks about this answer. I don't think it actually answers the question, but there's at least one user other than the author who thinks it does

ElizB

23:15

@Rainbacon The last sentence answers it, sorta but it needs to be expanded on. the answer should include how

Transcript for