The Awkward Silence

Extroverted Main Man

15:02

0

Q: Online conversation vs face to face interaction

There is a lot of articles out there about the dangers of internet and some of them talk about the fact that online interactions are nothing compare to face to face conversation. Those sort of articles often says that online conversation can't fulfill the emotional needs you have and that people ...

Noon

@ElizB Since I don't want opinions, I don't see how it is a discussion question. I think my question format is a little bit like this one who wasn't closed. And for the too broad part, I'm still struggling to judge what is too broad and what isn't, so I don't know about that :/

avazula

@Noon is Diana back? ;)

Noon

@avazula Héhé :P Do you know that Diana is the name of wonder woman? That's why I choose this name, it made me think about a wonderful person <3

avazula

aaaaw

I wondered why you chose that name :)

Noon

Now you know :D

ElizB

15:06

I love Wonder Woman :) Especially since the movie came out

Noon

@ElizB Yeap, I definitively love her too. And all the Amazon, and the way they fight (not as individuals but as a group), and their island -

ElizB

On another note, I am waiting until the temperature goes up so I can go outside and do errands and such... way too cold outside. it was 8 F (-13 C) this morning.... brrrrrr.

the high today is supposed to be 28 F (-2 C) so that's a tiny bit better... so i'll sit inside and wait haha

Imus

Can someone check if my edit on this question is OK? Not sure if it's worth reopening like this or should be modified further

ElizB

I have internship work to do anyway

avazula

@Imus wow, you attacked a serious piece of work here

kudos

Rainbacon

15:12

@Imus Looks like a really good edit, I think I'm ready to vote to reopen that question now

ElizB

@Imus I am a little leery about your adding the specific food item there, maybe just saying "under cooking food" instead of "under cooking chicken"

avazula

@Imus I'm not sure what gas has to do with it though. Is it like the gas used to make the cooker work?$

ElizB

it's mainly because the OP did not mention what food item

Imus

@avazula most likely a gas stove

ElizB

@avazula Gas to drive go out to eat, perhaps

Imus

15:14

Hmm, donno where I got the chicken from then :o

@ElizB That sentence is about as bad as the original post :p

ElizB

@Imus No problem, glad i noticed. I'm also noticing the difficulty in interpreting what the gas is for- using it for the gas stove or gas in a car to drive and go out to eat?

Rainbacon

@ElizB I think more likely, gas to run the stove/oven since it mentions intentionally undercooking food to save gas

Imus

^

ElizB

@Imus :P english is my second language haha

Imus

Same here, that's no excuse XD

ElizB

15:15

@Imus whatever lol

avazula

@ElizB wat o_o

Em C

maybe I'm just being squeamish here but could we also make the title a bit less graphic? saying "getting sick" is probably enough information :P

avazula

@EmC +1

Em C

I'm not sure if @Imus is still editing, I don't want to overwrite anything

Imus

I'll edit some more :)

Em C

15:17

\o/ thanks :)

Imus

is undercooking 1 word?

ElizB

Interesting... In deaf culture, we're usually graphic... i didn't mind that at all, honestly. Call me gross, but it's how I communicate with other deaf people... if i was speaking to a hearing person, i would be subtle and say "got sick" and with deaf people I would be saying something like "shooting fire out of my butt"... :P

pretty clear difference haha

avazula

@Imus I think so

ElizB

@Imus I just googled it, looks like it

Imus

Still contains (diarrhea) in the body of the text but at least it doesn't really throw that into your face when going through the question list :p

ElizB

15:20

@Imus Yeah, that's a better way of saying it without shocking people haha

Rainbacon

@ElizB That's an interesting difference. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that in a spoken conversation, there is a lot of information that we pass through tone and some non-verbal means. Is there any sort of analog for ASL? For instance do you imply different meanings by doing the same sign in different ways?

Imus

@Rainbacon I recon they still add facial expressions and big vs smaller motions for emphasis?

ElizB

@Rainbacon Absolutely! I could sign a response to "How are you?" with the same word- "Good" in a cheerful, sad, meh, sarcastic, overexcited, bored,.... etc way

El'endia Starman

@Rainbacon It's also just a cultural thing. English culture has a long history of at least seeming to be polite and Deaf culture...doesn't.

Rainbacon

@El'endiaStarman That's interesting. Is there any reason as to why deaf culture doesn't have a history of seeming to be polite?

ElizB

15:25

@El'endiaStarman snorts hehehehe polite... yeah... it depends on who you talk to, they can be really blunt and sometimes rude. For example, my mom messaged her client that she was sick and couldn't show, but he didnt see the message and told her off and said "you need to make sure I see the message, blah blah blah" and my mom was really sick, and not really up for that kind of talk...

@Rainbacon hmm, my first thought is that they've been oppressed and been made to get into the mainstream hearing culture for a while and they prefer to not be that way

I don't know about the history behind being blunt, but I think it's just the way that the language developed

Rainbacon

While we are on the subject of cultural differences, does anyone know if there are significant cultural differences around wedding etiquette between France and the United States?

ElizB

No idea 🤷‍♀️

avazula

@Rainbacon I don't think this is the wedding etiquette at stake here haha

El'endia Starman

@Rainbacon What ElizB said regarding reacting against the oppression of hearing people/culture seems plausible to me, but I'm not a cultural anthropologist so I really have no idea.

sphennings

@Rainbacon I don't know but we do have some regulars who are from France who may be able to give you a quick overview.

avazula

15:33

Oh Hi @sphennings! How are you?

sphennings

@avazula Glad I took a break from this site. Working a much more fulfilling job.

avazula

Well, good for you

sphennings

It's weird becoming an expert/leader. They have me conducting phone screens of potential new hires. Being on the other side of those calls is a surreal experience.

How have things been with you?

IPS Comment Bot

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#20609 Meg (1281 rep) | A: How can I get my upstairs neighbors to stop stomping on my ceiling? (score: -1) | posted 12 hours ago by Kell-Kell (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.09765598 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["+1"]

Rainbacon

@IPSCommentBot fp

ElizB

15:46

@IPSCommentBot fp

hehe

Rainbacon

It doesn't appear to have registered

ElizB

-_- comment bot, come on...

avazula

!!/alive @IPSCommentBot

IPS Comment Bot

I'm alive and well :)

avazula

then what the fudge are you doing?!

@IPSCommentBot huh?

ElizB

15:50

hehehe

i say give it a gibbs slap :P

that's my favorite thing to do when my little brother is being an ass hehehe

or anyone. lol

El'endia Starman

<_<

Em C

@ElizB another NCIS fan?! :D

ElizB

@EmC yessss absolutely :D My favorites are the old ones... they changed way too much :(

Rainbacon

@EmC I used to be. I eventually gave up on it because I felt like the story lines had declined too much

ElizB

Abby, DiNozzo, Ziva... best ever

I gave up on it because it was too much of a change. First Ziva, then Tony, then Abby.

Rainbacon

15:55

I believe that all TV shows have a shelf life, and often times, the really good ones outlive theirs because they have so much momentum.

El'endia Starman

Like Wile E. Coyote running off a cliff? :P

Em C

@ElizB agree! I actually stopped watching when Tony left, too many favorites gone :(

ElizB

@El'endiaStarman yeah, hehehe

@EmC Yeah, that's what I did too.

Rainbacon

@El'endiaStarman yeah something like that

ElizB

And now with Abby gone it's forever not the same. I LOVE abby, she's got the same knowledge I do, because I have an associates in Lab Science Technology, same as her job so I know what shes talking about haha

"Mr Mass Spec" hehe

Rainbacon

15:58

@ElizB That makes Gibbs and Ducky the only original cast members left right?

ElizB

oh, ducky's still there? what about Palmer?

Rainbacon

I don't know if Ducky is still there, but Palmer was not an original cast member. He didn't show up until I think season 2

ElizB

@Rainbacon yeah, but still, I liked Palmer.

Rainbacon

I liked him too

But when so much of the original cast is gone, I find it hard to keep watching a show

ElizB

@Rainbacon I agree.

Rainbacon

16:04

Another thing is that the longer a show goes on, the further the plots get from the original point. A good example is tend to deem a show to be ready for cancellation when the plots start to revolve more and more around the personal lives of the characters in a way that they never have. Like, if you have a sitcom that focuses on 3 single friends. You get to about season 6 and all of a sudden they all get married in a span of 2 seasons.

ElizB

Yeah, true. good observation. Lately I've just not watched any TV and I don't miss it, to be honest.

Noon

I want to scream in frustration, can I scream in here? :'(

ElizB

@Noon Go for it. what's going on?

Rainbacon

I've been watching less TV, because many of my shows have ended or are going to end soon

Noon

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Rainbacon

16:06

@Noon everything ok?

ElizB

@Rainbacon Yeah, shows have become more and more stupid or advertisement or click-baity to be honest.

@Rainbacon No, apparently not.

Noon

@ElizB Well, let's just say that there is a lack of understanding between me and another IPS member ^^ This is very frustrating and I want to punch something

ElizB

Frustration about something, it seems.

@Noon hmm :/

Noon

There isn't anything serious, don't worry ^^

ElizB

Okay

Noon

16:10

Sorry to have cut your conversation, please don't mind me ^^

Rainbacon

I see that your question got closed. I don't think it should be closed. There might be a meta related to that style of question, let me go look

ElizB

@Noon oh, no worries, you didnt cut any conversation. There's always multiple conversations going on at once

Rainbacon

@ElizB yeah, I agree

Noon

@Rainbacon I asked for it to be migrated any way, don't worry :)

ElizB

@Rainbacon my hubby said he didnt want to pay for tv service if he doesnt watch it and I don't watch it too often

I used to watch Dancing with the Stars but I know nobody these days

Rainbacon

16:12

@ElizB I've never paid for tv service. I've always only watched the shows on the public networks

ElizB

I have a different sort of thing going on with my tv. I have a smart TV with a Roku preinstalled, it has channels instead of just being the tv

Rainbacon

@ElizB I don't actually watch tv on an actual tv anymore. Most of the public networks put their shows online the day after they air, and I usually watch them online when I have time rather than when they actually air

ElizB

@Rainbacon ohhh gotcha

Mithrandir

I don't have a TV. YouTube content is often better than the TV and more personalizable :P

Rainbacon

I also watch older tv shows on Netflix

ElizB

16:20

@Mithrandir true that, i watch on youtube and netflix.

El'endia Starman

YouTube alllll the wayyy!

Mithrandir

They don't show you surprisingly emotional mountain biking videos on TV. ;P

(Now I sound like @AJ. Eeeek!)

ElizB

lol

A J

@Mithrandir huh?

dhein

This day was so exciting 😍

avazula

16:31

@dhein tell us, tell us !

Imus

16:50

@Mithrandir my first reaction was: how is he gonne stop?
Second thought was: "Well if he falls does anyone really care if he breaks a leg?"

dhein

Ok just a heads up: This is gonna be a long message! So if you aren't interested in how my day was, dont waste your time on reading that text xP And dont dare to blame me if you did anyways xD

So first of all, the interview part was ok Id say. I am not too convinced by it but if they are kind and take the right cuts it could be good.

But then there was, one of the "tools" I invented to make social interactions at my work place easier, which the lead of autism at work finds so brilliant that he actually tells every one.

So he also told in advance the tv crew about it and asked me if I could bring the items I need for it, I agreed and so they wanted after the interview me to explain it.

avazula

@dhein what's that?

dhein

First I explained it to the tv crew without the camera. Then the camera man just said we don't need to cspture it as it isnt possible to explain this in less then 20 seconds (20 seconds seems to be a magical number for them)

@avazula whats what?

avazula

@dhein your magic tool for social interactions. Sorry I interrupted, I was just trying to express my curiosity :p

dhein

But the interviewer started then discussing with him, cause she found it so great and was insisting to make that part of the report so they were discussing about how to make that work.

For a short moment she came even up with the idea to make my invention the main priority of the report, what every one else me included didnt like xD

So we ended up spending a full hour with 7 people involved figuring a way how to present that within 20 seconds. In the end we succeded and I am quite sure that will make it into the report 😅

And after that, when I was done I just sticked around since my work hours had been already over anyways.

El'endia Starman

16:55

20 seconds is probably related to a typical person's attention span.

dhein

And while I was listening the interview of our AAW lead I got engaged by our head of public relations germany (who was ofcause supervising the interview) into small talk.

He told me a bit about his job and I told him in that context what I like in generall about reading news and that I really like analyzing news moderators and their intentions by how they say things

..... and that I sometimes feel like I could do that better. And then he told me, he does the same and that this actually was the main motivation to get in the position he actually is in.

And later on in the small talk I responded to him saying that I really enjoy working for SAP and that I hope they will have long term uses for me aswell.

What he responded to, that hes quite certain that SAP will have uses for someone like me....

I feel like my networking at SAP is lifting off like a rocket 😍

avazula

@dhein :D

Could you please let us know when the interview is live? I'd love to watch this!

Noon

@dhein I want to know too!

Also, it seems like you had a very good time! :D

dhein

@avazula Its not magical, in fact I find it quite simple 🤷‍♂️ But for some reason most allist are quite impressed by it (probably because it points out the difficults we autists have and still is implementable even for allists without too much effort)

@El'endiaStarman yep exactly thats it. (They ecplained that to us while they were discussing xP)

Noon

@dhein Stop with the suspence!

dhein

17:04

@avazula I am sure I will share with every one I know as soon its live x)

Noon

@dhein I can't wait to see it! :D

(time for me to go now, see you later people!)

dhein

@Noon Ok so you want another long message where I explain it rather then seeing it in the interview where I explain it in German? 😂

@Noon indeed I had :)

Noon

@dhein I don't understand german :( So, yes, a long message please! :D (I will only read it in ~one hour, but I'm fine with that ^^)

El'endia Starman

@dhein I know a minuscule amount of German and I'm quite sure I wouldn't be able to understand it in the interview. :P

dhein

I was feeling very sorry for our pscholgical councelor, tho. She was with us all day long and when the aaw lead asked the crew when to interview her the crew just responded "well I think there is no use of a interview with her" And despite she tried to play it over, from what I could tell, she looked soooooo sad :(

I really felt a need to hug her, despite I knew that would have been inapropiate :x

avazula

17:08

D:

@dhein that's the worst feeling!

El'endia Starman

Oof. :(

IPS Comment Bot

Just don't do it. What's he going to do? Nothing. — only_pro 1 min ago

#20464 only_pro (101 rep) | Q: Primary roommate wants me to give him copy of key to my bedroom and I don't want to (score: 8) | posted 16 days ago by Haptometer (111 rep) | Toxicity 0.2469693 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

ElizB

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

dhein

@avazula yeh... I mean if that was me... I probably had cried :x and I think she was fighting against it, too :/

Mithrandir

17:23

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 2tps/0fps

dhein

@Noon Ok, so here we go then: One of the rules I implemented with my team was: I bought 3 different coloured cups (red orange green[ish]) and gave every one in my office a pingpong ball with their name on it.

And the rule is: when ever I wear my noice canceling headset, that means I am highly focused and hence please dont try to catch my attention by waving, talking to me or even touching. Instead:

Throw your ping pong ball in one of the cups corresponding to the urgency of what you want from me, so having the cups in my field of view, seeing it I know who wants something from me and how important it is and I can react to it without being interupted at a critical point in my thought process :)

ElizB

@dhein that's really clever!! me and @El'endiaStarman developed something similar. When he's highly focused, I should message him instead of getting his attention physically. If he's not as highly focused, i indicate to him when i need something with just one finger raised (pointer finger) and wait. then when he is ready, he lets me know

dhein

@El'endiaStarman I am quite sure most here are interested in how I look and how my bodylanguage is anyways xP

@ElizB hah! I would actually prefer that one over mine. But I think that one is hard to implement with an office full of allists, isnt it? 🙈

ElizB

@dhein yep, it is only between him and me.

dhein

17:32

My idea was "throwing a pingpong ball is something relaxing and funny, so even my coworkers have a motivation to stick with that rule" '^.^

@ElizB but yeah, I have such rules with my best friend too. I.e. in whats app we have 2 diferent groups one being for serious stuff and one for joking and small talk. So a) we can deceite our selfs when being up for serious talk and still can have smalltalk in the mean time

El'endia Starman

Along similar lines, a while back, I heard of a technique for helping children avoid interrupting their parent(s) while they're in a conversation, which is simply to touch the parent's arm and wait patiently. In all cases, it's simply a way to have a persistent but low-urgency reminder.

ElizB

@dhein another of my friends did that, it's a great idea indeed

dhein

And b) there is no confusion about the subtext of something as the group we write it in alreadz indicates the subtext

El'endia Starman

In any case, using colored ping pong balls is indeed pretty clever.

dhein

@El'endiaStarman yeah and for some reason even allists like that concept (enough to have an insisting discussion about if it should be part of an interview or not) xD

@El'endiaStarman to be clear: the cups are coloured, the pingpong balls have the "senders" name on them. (Despite I took a blank one for the interview for privacy reasons)

El'endia Starman

17:39

Oh, that makes sense.

ElizB

18:01

lunch time! Spinach salad with sweet potato, colby jack cheese, cucumber, and italian red wine vinaigrette dressing. :D

Rainbacon

Do you always eat lunch this late?

ElizB

not always...

i had a quiche this morning around 8am so it lasted me till now

Rainbacon

I must just get hungry fast. I had a cliff bar when I got to the office at 9 and then had lunch at noon

ElizB

huh, sounds about right. A quiche probably is 500 calories or so, maybe more, and a clif bar is only 250 so it usually lasts me about 3-4 hours

dhein

18:37

@Rainbacon oh, you spent @Noon a visit? :D

Noon

@dhein I had the same joke in mind, but didn't dare to post it XD

dhein

@Noon you are welcome :*

Rainbacon

At this point I'd just like to be able to visit @Noon with a message in chat. My computer is having some internet problems. Like, estimating an hour to download a 38MB file kinds of problems

Noon

@Rainbacon Hum, that's quite slow indeed :/

Rainbacon

It's not my day for technology. The battery in my noise cancelling headphones died too, so no more music or quiet for the rest of the day because my charging cable is at home

Noon

18:51

@Rainbacon :'( Good luck to you!

Rainbacon

It's only 3 hours left. So I should be fine, I just might be slightly less productive

Tinkeringbell

19:54

If anyone here hasn't read this yet and either written their own answer or voted for existing ones, could you please do so? It would be nice to see a bit clearer of a decision.

Rainbacon

@avazula would you mind much if I asked you a question about something that's in your user profile?

Specifically, a term you used that I'm unfamiliar with and can't seem to find on google

ElizB

21:33

@Tinkeringbell I'm seriously considering volunteering to be a RO after the kind suggestion that I become a RO. I just read over the link you posted, so what's next? Do we wait for a bit to think some more on it?

Tinkeringbell

Basically, yes.

Which reminds me.

@Rainbacon You asked about timezones, but we don't have an explicit volunteering yet. ;)

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell giphy.com/gifs/54JLdulN5BOwM

Tinkeringbell

Cool!

Rainbacon

For the record, I also think that @Noon and @ElizB would make excellent room owners

Noon

@Rainbacon Thank you, I think you will do a very good room owner too :)

El'endia Starman

21:40

Easy solution: add three new room owners! :P

Rainbacon

@Noon Thank you!

Noon

@El'endiaStarman Yeah, and then people could complain that there is only RO or mod in here :P

El'endia Starman

Easy solution: make everyone a room owner!

2

Noon

Haha, yeah, let's do this XD

ElizB

21:56

@Rainbacon aww, thanks. i would try my best.

Rainbacon

@ElizB That's all anyone can ask for. Plus, if you aren't successful we can get Mith to schedule another mutiny!

ElizB

22:18

@Rainbacon bahaha

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How can I communicate to my girlfriend that I'm uncomfortable paying most bills without ruining the relationship?

My girlfriend is an immigrant and will soon have a job for a year. After that job she'll need to go to school to continue staying in the US. Our current situation She technically lives with me after losing another job through no fault of her own. Right now she has a few thousand dollars in savi...

relationships money

Alex

@Rainbacon Was there a previous mutiny that I missed?

Noon

I can't remember the title of this song posted by Candice. Any idea?

Just found it, it's "Vivo per lei" ^^

Rainbacon

22:44

@Alex Yes, long long ago

Alex

Sounds like fun. Is there transcript evidence of this mutiny?

Rainbacon

Probably, let me look

Ah, yes. Here it is

Alex

Thanks.

Rainbacon

At one point we had a recurring mutiny event in the room, but I guess that has gone away now

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to "break up" with my toxic parents/family?

this is quite a long text but I think it is necessary to get an insight of where my motivation is coming from and why I want to "break up" with my parents. The Fight I A couple of months ago there was a huge fight between me and my parents: My grandfather offered me to buy his old car for a ve...

family parents

Rainbacon

22:55

@ExtrovertedMainMan That's a scary looking question. If we were still on HNQ I'd be brushing up on my flagging skills

ElizB

23:21

@Rainbacon I think that's what a lot of children of narcissist parents have to do someday and it's very hard... so i understand. Okay, gonna go rock climbing! Seeya :)

Rainbacon

I get that, I more mean it's scary in that it seems like the kind of question that could attract a lot of bad attention

Transcript for