The Awkward Silence

Noon

05:35

Morning all :)

Would someone mind moving the comment of the Bot to the Trash?

A J

→ 18 messages moved to Trash

@Noon Morning.

@Noon Done

Noon

Thanks, the rude on was bugging me :/

avazula

05:56

Morning everyone! Sorry @Noon, I'm on my phone, from which I can't relocate messages :/

Noon

@avazula Don't worry, AJ has done it :)

avazula

I saw that, yes :)

avazula

06:39

→ 10 messages moved to Trash

Jalapeno Nachos

sup dawgs!

@avazula what happened to your avatar?

avazula

@JalapenoNachos Hey there!

It got evil è_é

Jalapeno Nachos

yeah :(

how've you been?

long time no chat!

avazula

I'm great, thanks :) what about you?

Jalapeno Nachos

are you still moving to San Fran?

i'm ok ... really busy with job searching!

avazula

06:46

Erh, not anymore. The tribe (i.e. my SO and my cat) decided this was not the best for all of us, so ...

Jalapeno Nachos

ah, I see :(

I'm sorry to hear ...

avazula

It's okay :) I'm eager to begin new adventures!

I hope you'll find a job/PhD soon :)

Jalapeno Nachos

yeah, true true :)

thanks dawg!

struggling ... really struggling ...

every bite of food counts so much now, it seems, ya know?

ugh :(

avazula

@JalapenoNachos Yeah, I remember those times where I had to eat pasta for 2 weeks because I was short on money. Good thing is, it gets better eventually :) hang in there!

Jalapeno Nachos

ah, interesting

thanks!

avazula

06:50

eyeballs-requested | (NaA?) | interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/19120/… | @Noon @Mith @Mag

@JalapenoNachos :)

Jalapeno Nachos

I'm gonna copy you @avazula, except maybe ... cereal for 2 weeks ... :)

Noon

@avazula I already recommand deletion on it. It's a bit weird that I can still flag it as NAA, though

Jalapeno Nachos

fortified cereals ...

DDD

Good Afternoon Everyone !

avazula

@Noon That is ... indeed weird. What's the issue, isn't the flag appearing, or maybe the NaA option isn't tickable?

@JalapenoNachos there’s no accounting for taste ;)

@DDD Hey you!

Noon

06:54

@DDD Hey their :)

Jalapeno Nachos

@avazula true true :(

DDD

:-)

Noon

@avazula I think that, since I didn't flag it (but just review it in the queue), I can flag (but would that be usefull? If it's already in the queue, what's point in flagging again?)

avazula

@Noon I don't know. If you have enough flags, I'd advise you to flag it again so it stays in the queue even if people voted differently from you. But idk for sure. @JourneymanGeek? Could you enlighten us on this?

eyeballs-requested | (NaA?) | interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/19169/4550

Mithrandir

The more flags it has, the more "Looks Okay" votes it needs to be kicked out of the queue.

Journeyman Geek

07:01

@avazula ._. I just woke up, and would need to look it up on meta ;p

Noon

@Mithrandir Alright, thanks :)

avazula

@JourneymanGeek Haha, don't bother, Mith already gave a lead :) thanks though!

Journeyman Geek

But ya, what @Mithrandir said sounds plausible

avazula

@Mithrandir Okay, that was my first assumption but I wasn't sure so I didn't want to say silly things. Thanks for the insight :)

Wow, there's a lot to deal with in the review queues this morning!

Noon

Since we are into flagging, I have a bunch of NAA in here (like, all of them except the first on). Two are "Try this", two are "bad frame-challenge" (I let you guess which is which)

avazula

07:06

@Noon, I like you and I think you're a great person, but your questions give us a lot of work haha

@Noon Yay! Guessing game!

Noon

@avazula Ahah, yeah, sorry for that :P

avazula

@Noon I'm joking ;)

Although you got a bunch of rude comments and I'm sorry about that.

Noon

@avazula I know, don't worry (that why I put the smiley :p )

@avazula Well, thankfully, I don't have to see them all because the mod are quick to delete them (thank you mod <3 )

Jalapeno Nachos

back to my grad school apps - bye everyone! I miss this chatroom :(

can't wait to have time to waste again!

g'nite!

avazula

07:26

→ 11 messages moved to Trash

avazula

07:42

I bought a dress for my last prom

I'm afraid it won't look good ^^

Mithrandir

I'm sure you'll look fine

Tinkeringbell

@avazula That's because you'll be in it. Everything pales compared to you! :D

avazula

@Tinkeringbell o_o goes hiding in shyness :D

Tinkeringbell

I'm sure you'll be fine. I looked ridiculous in my prom dress too. It goes with growing up ;)

My hair was fabulous that night though... I had a neighbour that was studying to be a hairdresser at the time and she practiced her wedding styling on my hair :D

Mithrandir

/isn't quite sure what exactly prom even is

avazula

07:48

@Tinkeringbell :) I used to wear green and people would look at me like "why the heck didn't she wear black or red?" and "huh, green isn't that bad in the end". This year I'm going for electric blue haha!

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir A school event, everyone dresses up formally and goes to drink/dance ;)

avazula

@Tinkeringbell That's so cool! I wish I could have a nice hairdressing for that day :)

Tinkeringbell

@avazula Ohhh... nice! :D

I went with boring black.

avazula

@Tinkeringbell Yeah. This year it's my grad prom, so I'll get my diploma on Friday and dance like crazy on Saturday

Tinkeringbell

But we had all sorts of colours, green, red, blue, even a girl that came in a white one (we're pretty sure it was some kind of wedding dress :P)

avazula

07:49

@Tinkeringbell you wanna have a look on the blue one?

Tinkeringbell

@avazula Yes!

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell Girls wearing white dresses for all kinds of events is a bit of a thing here, for some reason...

avazula

@Tinkeringbell She probably had stolen it from her mom haha :D Our prom is more boring though. All girls go for black (a bunch of them dare to wear red) and all boys wear black suits with white shirts and black ties. I had a male friend who came in white once. He was stunning.

@Mithrandir Really? That is surprising!

@Tinkeringbell Let me find it

Okay, so this is the one I'm gonna wear, in blue

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir There's white dresses and there's white dresses of course :P

@avazula WOW! That one is gorgeous!

(I'll look up the pictures of my dress tonight, if you remind me. I don't have them on the work laptop ;) )

avazula

@Tinkeringbell I'd love to see it :)

Tinkeringbell

07:53

@avazula Heh. It's just a really boring straight black thing, but sure ;)

avazula

Idk what people will notice most though, if it's the dress' color or my impressive tattoos haha

@Tinkeringbell I'm sure you looked great in it :)

Tinkeringbell

@avazula I don't even think there's pictures from me all dressed up :P Just one we took in the garden, because the sun was shining and I was wearing it to show dad XD

That was the day or two after buying it, I guess

You know.... I didn't want to go to that party.

I didn't like parties at the time (Still don't like em much)

It got to the point that mom shouted at me 'You're going or you're grounded' and only realised her mistake when I couldn't hold my laughter at that XD

avazula

@Tinkeringbell Huh. I get that. I'm actually going to that one only to "say goodbye" to my classmates.

@Tinkeringbell HAHAHA

Tinkeringbell

@avazula We only had one, which was indeed in 'graduation' year.

@avazula In the end, she threatened to take my library card AND ground me

And with a summer vacation coming up... I decided to go.

Journeyman Geek

!!!

"I'm not letting you leave your room!" "Don't throw me into the briar patch! Not the comfy pillows!"

avazula

07:58

Our proms are a bit weird. Well, I'm sure most proms are the same, but I've always been stunned that people dress in gorgeous clothes, just to get wasted like, big time. I'm usually in charge of security during the night, and I generally see 3 people throwing up next to me in a period of 2 hours xD

@Tinkeringbell o_o that is not nice. Books are life.

Journeyman Geek

@avazula I think in my family that's a line too far.

Tinkeringbell

@JourneymanGeek I could stand being grounded pretty well, as I got to go to the library anyways (There's a fee on returning your books late :P). I couldn't stand being grounded without books though :/

Journeyman Geek

My mom decided to prune her trash novel collection... twas a box full.

(I've been going more ebooks, ironically cause of the lack of good bookstores, and the one that still remains being out of the way and not having as good a sci fi selection as my beloved page one...)

Tinkeringbell

@JourneymanGeek I've been buying too many books recently ;) But there's so many good ones being written XD

avazula

@Tinkeringbell Haha. There are two things that calm me down in times of intense stress/panic: grabbing a pencil and start to draw or wandering in a library, touching the books and reading the abstracts. Sooo quiet.

Tinkeringbell

08:00

I like paper books for home, and e-books for when I'm commuting

avazula

@Tinkeringbell Exact same thing for me.

Journeyman Geek

Speaking of stress...

Tinkeringbell

THIS IS A STRESSFREE ROOM!

Journeyman Geek

AHHHHHHH

ok ;p

(I need to give my mom a metaphorical kick about the matchmaking thing again)

avazula

@Tinkeringbell Oops... Mentioning it is a no-go? :p

Journeyman Geek

08:02

GENTLEMEN! YOU CANNOT FIGHT IN THE WAR ROOM!

Tinkeringbell

@avazula Hehehe no, just kidding ;)

avazula

Hahaha

(Man, irony is hard on the internet)

eyeballs-requested | (NaA?) | interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/19142/…

Tinkeringbell

@JourneymanGeek again? Ugh.

Journeyman Geek

Ya

JAD

08:26

@Tinkeringbell carrying a book is literally the only reason I bring a backpack when commuting

Tinkeringbell

@JAD That, and my lunch fits better in a backpack too

I carry a lot of stuff in my backpack XD

IPS Comment Bot

@Astralbee Outright deception absolutely is an interpersonal solution, and a very commonly employed one. It may not be a good one, but that's different. — Martin Bonner 53 secs ago

#19150 Martin Bonner | A: How to tell a close friend they're being cheated on when the cheater is my good friend (score: 26) | posted 17 hours ago by JohnEye (576 rep) | Toxicity 0.18785173 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["chatty-weak"]

JAD

@Tinkeringbell I don't bring lunch

company provides lunch, fresh bread, salads, that sort of stuff

Tinkeringbell

Oh nice!

I bring at least breakfast every day, I get lunch at the company on Thursday/Friday. It's not free, but it's cheap and there's freshly baked bread :D

JAD

hmm, we pay 24 a month for this to keep the belastingdienst happy, but it beats regular cafeteria

Journeyman Geek

08:33

Lets see

work backpack...

2x laptop (work and personal) Lunch (3x items) or dinner (small lunchbox), headphones (over the ear and headset ...) .... ;p

I carry a ton of stuff

Tinkeringbell

.... laptop. standard. keyboard. mouse. charger. lunchbox. big bottle of water. two phones. cables for the phones. headphones (big over ear). e-book. some sticky notes. a notepad. pens. wallet. another notepad. a small manicure set. a small sewing kit. access badges for three different offices. zipties and ductape. I guess that's it.

avazula

I think the weirdest thing in my bag may be the cat treats I'm carrying with me everywhere

Tinkeringbell

@avazula Hmmm. People do look really weird at you if you say 'want a ziptie to fix that'? :P

I guess 'want a cat treat' may give the same kind of reaction XD

avazula

@Tinkeringbell I think this is pretty logical to have some (and actually pretty smart) xD

Tinkeringbell

@avazula They just ended up in my bag one day (I had some in a coat pocket after setting up a banner for mom's 50th birthday in the front yard). I took them from the coat, put them in the bag... and then when I needed them, they were there! :D

Journeyman Geek

08:47

@avazula my workplace is full of cats ;p

avazula

@JourneymanGeek Is it? o_o

Journeyman Geek

@avazula Well 5-6

there's a preggers one that hangs out around the office, and 3-4 cats that hang around the cargo loading/checking place

avazula

eyeballs-requested | (Really NaA?) | interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/19150/4550 | @Mith @Mag @Noon @Tink

@JourneymanGeek And how come they ended up inside the office?

Mithrandir

yeah that seems to be NaA

Journeyman Geek

@avazula IDK. I guess she wanted to be left alone?

I think the cat is pregnant

avazula

08:49

wooh

Noon

@avazula The question is "How to tell a close friend they're being cheated on when the cheater is my good friend" -> "You don't" doesn't really answer that

(that my point of view anyway)

Journeyman Geek

@Noon avoidence is always a stratergy

avazula

@Noon I may be wrong but I think this is a well-formed frame-challenge answer

Noon

I don't know, does it really solve OP problem?

Journeyman Geek

In a sense, it does

avazula

08:53

@Noon Frame challenges don't actually address OP's issue, and are rather here to discuss OP's motivations. In this case, this is what the answerer is doing, and they explain why OP shouldn't do what they aim at doing (which is what is missing from most FC answers)

Journeyman Geek

which is "stay out of it, cause its not worth it?"

Sometimes the only way to win, is not to play.

Tinkeringbell

@avazula Yeah, NAA

avazula

@Tinkeringbell Why's that? I don't get it :/

I'm frustrated to see i do not fully understand the site policy xD

Tinkeringbell

@avazula The goal is to tell Bobby he's being cheated on.

It's not respecting the premise of the question.

Which is that Bobby gets to know that Sarah cheats.

Noon

@avazula It's missing a "What don't you try this instead"

avazula

08:55

@Tinkeringbell I agree, however this stands as a FC, doesn't it?

@Noon AFAIK it's not mandatory to offer one, even though it's strongly encouraged. Am I right?

Tinkeringbell

@avazula Ehh. Not really. Like Astralbee said, would you answer a question of 'How to tell Bobby I'm gay' with the same action 'Don't tell Bobby'?

> So I think you should stay out of it.

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Suitable Email Id name for "Mobile development team" to send complains

I am looking for good email id name for Mobile Application Development team to send complains by users. as of now I can think [email protected] [email protected] etc. Can I have some good names please. If this question off topic, suggest me relevant forum. Thank ...

avazula

@Tinkeringbell Mmh. Then how come we do not discard the answers on @Noon latest questions that tell them "don't try to tell your aunt"? It's the same issue, right?

Tinkeringbell

@avazula Yes, it is. And I was hoping the community would flag them, instead of a mod having to do it a week later.

avazula

I'm sorry, I hope I don't bother you with this, I just really want to understand what did I fail to understand here :)

@Tinkeringbell Erh. We're trying at least :p

Tinkeringbell

08:58

If I remember correctly, I put 6 or 7 answers on the question Noon asked about their mother in the queue as well, all received recommend deletions .

Those were also 'don't tell your mom anything'.

avazula

@Tinkeringbell Then the community did their job, didn't they?

OC they should have DVed as well

Because otherwise we can't cast a vote for deletion

Tinkeringbell

@avazula Ehhh. half ;) I had to put them in the queue... And I did that a week after some things were posted, they got 200/100 upvotes in the meanwhile ;)

I think we could've been a bit quicker about it ;)

4

A: How do I write a good answer?

Then what about those 'frame challenges'? The idea of a 'frame challenge' is a hard concept to grasp. The idea of it was first mentioned here and the concept came from the RPG.SE site. RPG.SE has since considered dropping the usage of the term 'frame-challenge'. Instead of saying your answer ...

On frame challenges ;)

avazula

@Tinkeringbell Thanks for that! TIL.

@Tinkeringbell I agree. Pfew, there's a lot to do in here :p

Tinkeringbell

@avazula Useful: In the search bar, you can do is:a and sort by newest :P

avazula

@Tinkeringbell To find newest contributions?

Tinkeringbell

09:03

@avazula Yep, but only answers

is:q gives only questions ;)

avazula

@Tinkeringbell I suspected that :p

Tinkeringbell

I usually combine them, for example, keyword + is:q to find that question I'm looking for ;)

I sometimes go through is:a to find stuff that needs comments :)

avazula

I'm not often using those tools ; I rather write SQL queries to review comments and answers haha

I'm impressed by the quantity of time I spend reviewing content and contributing on this site

→ 10 messages moved to Trash

Tinkeringbell

@avazula All of the people in here are doing a great job lately. You're all doing a very large portion of the overall work :)

avazula

→ 9 messages moved to Trash

@Tinkeringbell Thank you, I (we?) appreciate that :)

Mithrandir

09:15

(you can also wait a minute so that more people can flag it and maybe nuke it...)

Noon

@Tinkeringbell We do have a great teacher that tells us what should be on the site and what shouldn't :)

Tinkeringbell

@Noon ;)

Thanks.

avazula

@Mithrandir I just did. Good news is the answerer just said they'll try editing it accordingly, maybe it'll be better then.

Tinkeringbell

I do try, but I also struggle sometimes. There's also the wisdom that moderators shouldn't do too much, to avoid the community ending up with a 'the mod will do that' mentality. Striking a balance is difficult sometimes ;)

So if anyone ever feels I'm pushing buttons too quickly, speak up please :D

avazula

@Tinkeringbell I think you mods are all doing a great job (even though some are more present than others). Since you help us understanding the trickiest patterns (I'm saying this 'cause I thought that since the time I should know the site quite good, although I just didn't get why we were flagging that NaA answer xD), we can get involved a lot in moderating, and this is rewarding.

eyeballs-requested (NaA) interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/18555/4550

Mithrandir

09:21

eyeballs-requested | "Try this!" | How to respond to someone when they ask how much you earn?

avazula

@Mithrandir yup

Mithrandir

@avazula DVed + flagged. I should at some point work on being able to VTD.

avazula

@Mithrandir BTW, how do you manage to get rep whereas you're currently DVing? Haha

Mithrandir

I get random upvotes on my old stuff sometimes. Also, a lot of what I DV gets deleted.

avazula

@Mithrandir Huh, so you don't lose any points :)

Mithrandir

09:24

eyeballs-requested | "Try this!" | How to respond to someone when they ask how much you earn?

eyeballs-requested | How to respond to someone when they ask how much you earn?

avazula

^ done

Mithrandir

@avazula I have lost over 250 reputation from downvoting answers that hasn't been refunded

(254 to be precise)

avazula

@Mithrandir Ha, still... I don't quite understand community moderation sometimes. For me, it's my defused flags. The ratio raised/accepted could be better haha

Mithrandir

Yeah, the "disputed" ones get annoying at times.

avazula

yup

Mithrandir

09:29

4110 helpful, 48 declined, 138 disputed, 8 retracted, 38 pending

Tinkeringbell

Wait... you have 38 pending flags? :X

Mithrandir

...that question had a lot of comments on a lot of different answers

avazula

that doesn't surprise me much

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir I'm deleting some comments now ;)

Also... even if you flag old answers on old posts... could you try to go through all the answers there, and leave comments? :)

I actually think the question may need closing as it's asking for 'valid responses' which looks a lot like a prhasing request?

avazula

@Tinkeringbell which one are you talking about?

→ 17 messages moved to Trash

A J

09:39

calm down mith. :P

Noon

@avazula This one I think: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/1804/…

Mithrandir

@AJ ?

Tinkeringbell

@Noon Yes, that one :D

avazula

@Noon Thanks. I agree @Tink. I VTCed as this sounds opinion based

Noon

@avazula I must admit, I'm wanting to see it in the review queue to vtc as well because I want my "Civic Duty" badge! :P (since it's an old question, it doesn't matter)

avazula

09:45

@Noon Haha. It should be in it right now :)

Noon

@avazula It's not, the review queue is quite low some time :(

avazula

Ugh

A J

@Mithrandir You know. ;)

avazula

Gotta go guys, I have mail to send. See you this afternoon!

Noon

See you :)

Extroverted Main Man

10:00

0

Q: Acquaintance and I both want to buy the same property

tldr; an acquaintance of mine wants to buy the same apartment as me, and neither of us is willing to back down. Hi everyone! First post here. In short, we discovered before going to the showing that were both very interested in the same house (we discovered the listing independently). I don'...

money acquaintances

avazula

10:47

@ExtrovertedMainMan Well this is a bummer

Tinkeringbell

@avazula I was looking at the edit there... I'm not sure if it improved stuff or made it worse...

avazula

@Tinkeringbell Errrh. I'd say second option

→ 17 messages moved to Trash

JAD

11:04

@ExtrovertedMainMan well, if neither is willing to back down, you're going to have to offer more than they are

oooor, ask whether they have heard of time-sharing

ElizB

11:21

I'm trying to encourage quality of the answer here and I think this answerer is on to something, but not describing it completely, I'm wondering if I'm missing something? Here's the answer I'm talking about

avazula

@ElizB Erh. Still not enough to me.

ElizB

11:46

@avazula I'm not saying it's the best but I'm curious about what it means to "signal"

avazula

@ElizB I guess they mean "telling with your attitude, not with words"

but idk

ElizB

Yeah i get that

Still, more details needed

avazula

yup

ElizB

Yeah. Munching on a egg sandwich for breakfast and trying to find this one shirt I want to wear today.... grumbles why is my apartment so messy.... oh right that's my fault :P

Mithrandir

isn't everyone just naturally messy?

ElizB

11:51

Heh, yeah

JAD

@Mithrandir apparently not

avazula

@Mithrandir Tell my SO this

JAD

there exist people that :shudders: like cleaning

ElizB

Haha like my mom. She seriously won't stop

doppelspooker

the universe tends toward entropy; mess is entropy. mess is the natural order of things.

observe nature and how it leaves its room in a complete mess all the time.

ElizB

11:52

Well said!

Tinkeringbell

@doppelspooker But nature has a marvelous sense of order too...

avazula

It's just that we don't understand it haha

doppelspooker

@Tinkeringbell just one that doesn't involve the concept of tidiness

Tinkeringbell

@doppelspooker I don't know. Human tidiness seems to be a more social construct indeed, yet cats bury their poop, and there's more evidence of animals 'cleaning up' if I remember correctly.

So yeah, while putting stuff in boxes and/or in a specific order seems pretty human... I think there's some tidiness in nature too

doppelspooker

There is. Also ants having garbage piles, etc.

But there's a bit of a difference between taking care of refuse so as to prevent disease, and ensuring everything is kept in the proper shelf.

:D

Tinkeringbell

12:08

@doppelspooker I like my shelves and drawers though :D

Not that anything is ever in it's proper shelf/drawer, but it's in one of them, to be sure :P

Now my mind is set on finding out the history of shelves :P

avazula

> one day, one guy accidentally made a wooden board fall on two buckets. The board was very heavy, so he started wondering how he could move it. Then his cat sat down on it and he thought "Huh. I could store my cat stews on that!"

Tinkeringbell

@avazula Hehehe ;)

I'm wondering how old the oldest shelf found actually would be ;)

avazula

I'm sure it had something to do with cat stew

Tinkeringbell

Yours seem to suggest it happened after the domestication of cats, so pretty recently ;)

avazula

Naah. You don't have an animal to be domesticated before eating it.

:p

Tinkeringbell

12:17

@avazula But you'd have to at least a little bit domesticated to be around at the time a wooden board falls on two buckets XD

avazula

@Tinkeringbell Ha, true. I forgot about that part of the story. ._.

Introverted Meta Man.

12:30

0

Q: Should substantially edited answers retain their existing votes?

Both a moderator and I made comments on an answer to this question today to the effect that it (i) did not address the OP's question in any way and (ii) proposed lying to avoid having to face the issue posed in the question. The author of the answer has acknowledged the need for an edit but two h...

discussion

avazula

@IntrovertedMetaMan. is this really belonging to IPS.meta rather than MSE?

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Should men who move back to their parents home stop dating?

Back when I was 28 years old, I went through a long period of unemployment and I decided to move back in to my parents home to save money. I was single at that time and I wanted to continue dating women with the goal of getting married. Shortly after moving back in with my parents, I took an adu...

relationships awkward-situations romance

doppelspooker

In the beginning, there were people, and they had things, and the things were good, and the people were happy. And some of the things were fragile, and some were sharp, and some had pointy knobbly bits, like a lego piece but worse, and people would step on these things, and this was not good.
And one day a person put the things up on a rocky ledge, and lo, they were not on the ground, and could not be stepped on, and there was much rejoicing, and yea, people had invented the shelf.
And people began to accumulate more things, but there were not more ledges, so they made new ledges with logs …

5

Tinkeringbell

12:46

@doppelspooker :P Now my pedantic archaeologist side is going to argue whether or not an outcrop of rock counts as the first shelf

And ask if there's any archaeological evidence of people using ledges as shelves :P

doppelspooker

@Tinkeringbell If it helps, I promise no archeological research went into this story whatsoever.

avazula

@Tink would you mind deleting comments under that answer and start a chat room? It becomes very talkative.

Tinkeringbell

@avazula I'll try. Internet is really crappy today, I keep losing the connection to chat, se and spotify. Email and the dev-server seem to keep working though. I'm blaming the Direct Access connection

avazula

@Tinkeringbell :/

Don't worry then, I'll ping @AJ and @EmC to handle it

doppelspooker

Raise a mainsite flag, it might get seen sooner

Tinkeringbell

13:08

Okay, I'm back for a little while?

It keeps crashing. Sorry!

avazula

:(

Tinkeringbell

I hate that direct access thing. It seems to randomly block stuff :(

Em C

@avazula np, I'll check it out :)

hmm on second thought I'll check it out more in ten minutes when my desktop is booted up >.>

Tinkeringbell

13:23

It seems to be some weird things with proxies are going on today :(

avazula

Ugh. I hate proxies.

Tinkeringbell

Yep. It seems to be stable now, for a little while at least.

scohe001

@Tink @Emc can I bug one of you to edit my comments on this post to change instances of "my friend"/"she" to "me/I"? It sounds like it may be causing some confusion. (my alternate personalities are causing trouble again :p)

Tinkeringbell

@scohe001 I just purged them. Seems like all of that information already was in the question anyway ;)

scohe001

@Tinkeringbell when in doubt, bring the flamethrower. I like it. Thanks Tink!

Tinkeringbell

13:30

I seem to be back online, for a while :P

As long as it lasts :P

Em C

@Tinkeringbell saves the day again :D

hmmm that edit though. Lots of people suggesting "tell him anonymously", none of them actually citing any successful experience with this method...

avazula

@IPSCommentBot erhhhhhh

Tinkeringbell

@avazula Actually, it's good to see Astralbee step up like this :) I like it :)

avazula

@Tinkeringbell It's difficult to moderate though. I think I'll step down on that one haha

Tinkeringbell

@EmC This one isn't even really pointing out how that should be done too ;) What would Bobby do with a random anonymous 'Your GF is cheating on you'?

I'd be likely to dismiss it as someone trying to ruin our relationship.

Em C

13:41

@Tinkeringbell yeah, exactly. I'm quite skeptical that anyone suggesting it has actually tried it..

avazula

→ 13 messages moved to Trash

scohe001

@EmC it'd be interesting to see some answers delve more into that too. I feel like some methods would definitely be more successful than others. Glued magazine cutout letters compared to an anonymous email with some proof for example...

DDD

Good Evening

for Dog lovers - facebook.com/m5056dg/videos/10210026159211025

avazula

eyeballs-requested (NaA) | interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/19166/4550 | @EmC @doppelspooker @JAD

scohe001

But what's the suggested improvement?

Em C

13:55

@scohe001 ?

scohe001

@EmC was replying to the bot comment lol

Em C

@scohe001 oh, haha

avazula

14:16

→ 33 messages moved to Trash

Introverted Meta Man.

-2

Q: My comment was unjustly deleted

I posted this comment that was deleted for seemingly no reason. The original version said something along the lines of: @JohnEye: That last paragraph really irks me. Yes, we all make mistakes, but cheating isn't a simple mistake, it's a choice. It's not something that can or should be forgiven e...

support comments deleted-comments

avazula

14:38

@DDD I'm not sure OP could get an anwser on movies.SE actually

DDD

@avazula, okk, i thought that he is asking about comedy shows in french. So I suggested

avazula

@Noon it actually is -> migration

we even have a VTC reason for that : "this question to another SE site"

@scohe001 Eerrh, that's not fair! I did my job otherwise :p

Noon

@avazula Well, not by itself. You need the question to also be off-topic in here (otherwise, a lot of "workplace" question would have been closed)

scohe001

@avazula I think @Noon is referencing the fact that a question can be on-topic on multiple sites. So the reason for closing shouldn't be "this belongs on site X," it should be "this is not related to IPS, it belongs on site X" (correct me if I'm wrong Noon)

Noon

@scohe001 Nop, that's right, thanks :)

scohe001

14:42

@avazula haha in all fairness it is an aic. Gotta feed my regex! :p

avazula

@scohe001 I know, but currently the comment says "closing because it belongs elsewhere is not possible", whereas it actually is. I agree that it shouldn't get migrated in this case though.

@scohe001 Erh, I owe you guys a cookie

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Learning French -- What shows should a beginner/intermediate watch?

I have been learning french for the past 4 years off and on. Recently, I have been learning on a much more frequent basis and I think that watching shows in french would definitely help me. I love comedy and I don't want something that's very advanced. What are some good shows to watch and where ...

france language

avazula

@Noon I agree :)

Tinkeringbell

@scohe001 in short, the answers from me and sphennings do give some advice on how to ask the girl out, but still advise against that because of negative consequences. Take a look at that other answer you linked (from before it was edited)... Nothing about that whatsoever

No explanation of how to do it, and then warning against it, just a 'dont do it'

Take a look at the post written by Catija that I linked in the 'frame challenges' part of 'how to write a good answer' too ;) it has some examples

scohe001

@Tinkeringbell I saw that with your answer, but especially with sphennings', it seems it's just mentioned in passing. It sounds like "DON'T. But if you really insist...don't do this" is that enough to call it a frame challenge? Even though it never actually explains how you should go about doing the thing OP wanted?

There are definitely other examples I couldn't find from my precursory search that are a little closer to the line than sphenings', I'll see if I can dig them up...

Tinkeringbell

14:59

I think the most confusing thing here is the recent push ;) the rule kinda has always been there, see that answer by Catija, it's from the early days of the site

It sadly hasn't been consistently enforced ;)

Transcript for