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01:10
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Q: Boss Wants me to Re-build Company Website How Do I Ask For a Higher Hourly Rate?

Jethro HazelhurstI started working at an online retailer a couple of months back, fairly new company (~1year) that generates about £50k/month. I am employee No. 3. I get paid a minimum hourly wage for my country (UK) at the moment as it is early days and most of my work is in the shop/packing orders, although I d...

01:47
1
Q: Reminding lecturer to reply to previous email I sent

SusmithaI sent an email to my lecturer asking for clarification about something however it has been a few days and he has not replied. Sometimes he replies to emails sometimes he does not. I need a reply fast so that I can start on some important reports as I got to submit them soon. How do I politely ...

 
1 hour later…
03:09
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Q: Revealing Chronic Illness when Finding New Work?

LilibeteI live with chronic illness, and I recently found out from close co-workers from my previous employer that it is not visible to my colleagues how sick that I can be at times. How do I approach disclosing chronic invisible illness with revealing enough to keep me safe, them aware, and also try and...

 
2 hours later…
A J
A J
05:35
Mornin!
06:09
Morning!
@apaul yeah there was a rude one removed. I gave feedback on an answer of theirs which wasn't appreciated and they decided to leave some random comments underneath posts of mine. Not really attention worthy anymore.
@Mithrandir I'll take a look!
06:29
morning, @Tinkeringbell :)
07:00
@Tinkeringbell Adventures being had. Real life is fun sometimes.
07:14
@AnneDaunted earlier, you had wrote, "That question seems to get more attention than the OP at their own dates." ... what a thoughtful comment :)
Ya know, I've been on some pretty memorable dates, too, so I can take it - I'll take the good with the bad, as always.
Thanks again for your thoughtful comment; I really appreciated it :)
@D.Hutchinson Morning :)
@apaul Well, mine is lately ;) Would that burn of yours be this weekend? Than yours will be too :P
@Tinkeringbell yup
@apaul Nice :) Remember: have fun!
JAD
JAD
burn?
that doesn't sound like fun
@JAD someone died in the last burn, I think :(
literally burned to death ...
ran into the fiery cross, I think ...
07:30
@JAD A burning man festival ;)
JAD
JAD
ah
0
Q: With no reputation, can I somehow answer a blocked question because it attracted low-quality or spam answers?

PiroI wanted to answer a question but it become blocked by community because it has attracted low-quality or spam answers. I do not have 10 reputation to answer it, since I am not that active on this site and did not get any reputation except association bonus. Yet I honestly believe my answer is goo...

@IntrovertedMetaMan. Weeeeird, the profile shows the OP has 101 rep? :P
JAD
JAD
@Tinkeringbell the association bonus doesn't count
so for the protection, he has 1 rep
07:38
@JAD Ah, okay :)
08:18
Anyone want to flag the last few comments here? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9557/…
JAD
JAD
08:28
some were nuked
others flagged but still stand
09:25
:( I feel tricked! I made an edit and now someone retracted their upvote :P
interesting concept this "emotional labor"
JAD
JAD
@Tinkeringbell rip
@Magisch Huh?
Was that a random conversation starter or...
I think you might also find some value in reading this article/thread. I don't know if it's happening here, but it's very common that the real work involved in managing and nagging family members is treated as invisible and "not real work", and that it's assumed that women will automatically do it without recognition or recompense. Just having a name for this can be really helpful. — Nathaniel J. Smith Oct 26 '17 at 23:39
@Magisch Oooh...
0
Q: Planned to move into shared house but not allowed when someone alleged I made them uncomfortable (adults)

KeepOffGrassAll names and numbers have been changed to preserve privacy I am looking for a place to live. The end of the month is close. I viewed a room in a shared house, and after thinking about it, decided it was good. I emailed the landlord and asked if I could have it. He replied: Welcome to the ho...

@SmokeDetector That one seems to have been triggered by the e-mail address or the money?
combination
@JAD hah, I have my upvote back :)
Sometimes complaining does work :P
JAD
JAD
in Charcoal HQ, 3 mins ago, by SmokeDetector
@iBug Post - Keyword rent with email [email protected]
09:34
@JAD Ah ;) ...
I think that post could use an edit ;)
@ExtrovertedMainMan So, what do you think?
@Mithrandir I'm sorry. That one is new for me. Could you spell it out?
JAD
JAD
unclear what you ask
@JAD Duh... oh yeah, it's still that. ;) I didn't say the edit fixed everything :P
But would it be a good one to get the OP going, to poke them? ;)
 
3 hours later…
13:12
0
Q: Should I "transform" a friend into what he wishes to be?

SvenA male friend of mine, lets call him Bob, is the good guy every mother-in-law dreams of: He is quiet, nice, and currently working on his PhD. I almost consider him a younger brother. He is a virgin, the young woman in our social group all consider him the "cute little boy", even those beeing 8 ...

@ExtrovertedMainMan Off-topic
yaaaaawn Morning! :-)
@TheTinyMan VTC as cross-posting, also found at The Workplace :P
@Tinkeringbell Crap, crap, edit, edit!
Noooo I can't edit it!
@TheTinyMan Do me a favor then and close the question just posted ;)
That might make up for it :P
13:25
@Tinkeringbell Looks like Catija beat me to it!
@TheTinyMan I noticed! Quick one ;)
0
Q: Why a man pays the first date with a woman?

helloworldWhy in 2018 is it still considered nice for a man to pay the first date with a woman? Comparing to the older "man-ruled" days, at least in most developed countries women now have equal potential to study, be succesfull, make money and so on. Why would a modern woman assume and accept for her d...

Voted to close as too broad
I think it could be turned into something similar to
25
Q: Why do men shake hands with each other but hug women?

CatijaI've noticed an oddly confusing greeting mismatch in the US that I wanted to understand. Unless men are very close friends or family, they tend to shake hands in greeting. When greeting a woman - even one they don't know well or just met - they often hug instead... or try to, which can lead to aw...

@AnneDaunted Maybe, or make it an etiquette question? ... Then we should focus on the reasons behind the etiquette, I think we have one of those lying around too
10
Q: Why do men rise when a woman leaves the room?

SidI once read that in Canada, it is considered polite for men to rise when a woman leaves a room and men normally offer their hands to women. My question is, why is this tradition considered to be polite and what is its origin?

0
Q: What usually causes a user with a very positive reputation to get suspended?

thanbyI'm not worried about this user specifically, if they did something that got them in trouble then so be it. But what sparked this was a discussion I was having with someone about their answer, when suddenly they stopped responding and their rep now shows as 1. I was a little confused, because the...

I linked to Catija's question in a comment, so now the OP can decide.
13:40
@AnneDaunted Nice :) I think they by now have enough choices to pick from ;)
:-)
That meta question is really a bit broad.
@AnneDaunted I just figured out who it is about I think ;)
But I'm not sure if I should answer or not. I think I'll leave it to a moderator...
then you got farther than me
A moderator will just tell them that they won't tell them
Thanks
Got two deleted answers on Arwen's question
13:46
@AnneDaunted Well, yes, but as everyone, there's meta post about it, and we can tell this person not to worry, if they was bad enough to warrant a suspension they would have had a mod message
0
Q: Why a man pays the first date with a woman?

helloworldWhy in 2018 is it still considered nice for a man to pay the first date with a woman? Comparing to the older "man-ruled" days, at least in most developed countries women now have equal potential to study, be succesfull, make money and so on. Why would a modern woman assume and accept for her d...

JAD
JAD
hmm, I'm not too far away from fanatic on metaIPS :p
NVZ
NVZ
@JAD Your sad devotion to that ancient meme... :P
@NVZ I'll see what I can do. Give me 6-8 weeks — JAD 3 mins ago
JAD
JAD
:)
honestly, I think it's better to wrap this up first, and then do questions afterwards
NVZ
NVZ
1
Q: Why a man pays the first date with a woman?

helloworldSo, it seems to be common etiquette still for a man to pay for the first date with a woman. It's considered nice, but it's baffling me a little as to why it still exists nowadays because I think some of the reasons for it existing in the first place have now vanished: women can now get an educat...

The force is strong with this one.
13:52
I edited that one to be similar to this one : https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/7823/why-do-men-rise-when-a-woman-leaves-the-room...

Now it's up to you all to decide whether it should be reopened or whether we also should close the other one! :P
NVZ
NVZ
Who's downvoting well-intentioned newbies? :P
@NVZ Who's upvoting obviously bad questions? :P
Just keep them at zero ;)
NVZ
NVZ
@Tinkeringbell aint no such thing.
@NVZ Hey,, upvotes are for good posts, not a participation trophy!
NVZ
NVZ
“Judge them by their rep, do you?”
@Tinkeringbell it is a good post, far better than my first post on se, I'd say.
13:56
@NVZ After my edit, maybe :P
When did you upvote ;)
When did you notice the downvote?
NVZ
NVZ
@Tinkeringbell I noticed a disturbance in the force. I brought balance to the force, with an upvote.
Thanks for the edit @AnneDaunted
@NVZ Ah.... well, now it's at 2 upvotes... just reopen it :P
Must...unbalance...Force... xD
@AnneDaunted you're picky :P OP found my edit beautiful, why change it? :P
Was that grammatically wrong?
13:59
Your edit was fine
@AnneDaunted Just teasing you, but I am genuinely curious about the grammar now ;) Sounds like I found my first ELU question! :)
I thought it has a better "flow" that way
@Tinkeringbell @AnneDaunted Some people just always have to have the last word. ;-)
NVZ
NVZ
@Tinkeringbell what's the line?
14:01
@NVZ "So, it seems to be common etiquette still for a man to pay for the first date with a woman." changed to "So, it still seems to be common etiquette for a man to pay for the first date with a woman."
@AnneDaunted It does look more ... modern? ;)
It's fine, really :)
NVZ
NVZ
Looks fine, now.
@NVZ I was wondering whether the first was grammatically incorrect? :)
NVZ
NVZ
@Tinkeringbell I donno about grammar. I just read things out loud, and see if it sounds weird.
I play by ear, unaware of the real technical stuff.
14:05
@NVZ I guess mine did sound that way ;) ... I read a lot of old-fashioned stuff :P
Catija says I can't say casted :P Although that one was correct in the 16th century! :P
I went so overboard with my presentation preparation
@Tinkeringbell Typecast, Typecasting, Typecasted? ;-)
@AnneDaunted No, as in 'I casted a close vote' :P
@Magisch better too much than not enough
It's half of my final grade so I'm kinda nervous. I saved the file as .pptx, .pdf and .jpg on the laptop I'll take with me, 2 separate USB sticks, google drive, our network share folder I can vpn into, I sent it to myself via email and I have it on my phone
14:08
She really hates it when I do that :P
JAD
JAD
isn't it cast, cast, have cast?
@Tinkeringbell I understood. I meant as the potential source of the error
I also printed everything out on waterproof slide plastic for a overhead projector, actual paper and a whiteboard paper chart
@JAD According to ELU casted is coming back: english.stackexchange.com/q/94565
@AnneDaunted Oh uh... I don't think so, I really think I picked it up out of some old-fashioned text :)
@Magisch Okay... now you're only need a concrete basement shelter and you're ready for armageddon ;)
my train also arrives 2 hours early at the place on monday so I can have ample time to bypass public transit by foot if I have to
14:13
@Magisch So, enjoy the weekend, you've got everything covered :)
I tend to go overboard hard on such things
JAD
JAD
inb4 power outage
doesn't matter, I have it on whiteboard paper
JAD
JAD
but the presentation is in the basement, there is no light
The only way to stop me from giving that presentation would be to kidnap me
JAD
JAD
14:15
did you bring a flashlight?
@Magisch As long as it A. helps avoid anxiety and B. doesn't cost so much time that your other life stuff gets influenced... why not ;)
got a laptop with battery and my phone
JAD
JAD
and do trains work without power?
@JAD Stop teasing him! You're making it worse ;)
JAD
JAD
@Tinkeringbell one can never be too prepared
14:16
if push comes to shove I can bike there
@Magisch Needs moar Dropbox
will take like 3 hours but screw it if I have to I can
I'm prepared for the train to fail. I wake up at 5.30am and the presentation doesn't start until 11.
NVZ
NVZ
@Tinkeringbell I don't see how it's coming back.
@NVZ It's in one of those answers there... Apparently people are using it again, more and more ;)
NVZ
NVZ
@JAD Define work.
JAD
JAD
14:18
@Magisch but are the professors? dun dun duuuun
@Magisch Who wants to play the "can we hack and use social engineering to make Magisch mess up" game? ;-D
JAD
JAD
@NVZ being able to get people from A to B in orderly fashion
@JAD then its not my fault
guy from my class has to repeat an entire year because he was 30 min late for his
not gonna happen
NVZ
NVZ
@JAD Work, in physics, measure of energy transfer that occurs when an object is moved over a distance by an external force at least part of which is applied in the direction of the displacement.
So, it needs Power. :P
OR Force.
The dark side of the force.
JAD
JAD
@NVZ which is supplied by power
NVZ
NVZ
14:21
@JAD I should stop. I just binge watched all Star Wars saga recently.
@Magisch maybe a tad too far
14:37
interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9636/… Can this get some upvotes for visibility? The question is now in the reopen queue although I don't know if it's already ready :)
 
3 hours later…
NVZ
NVZ
17:09
-3
A: What do we expect from an answer on Interpersonal Skills?

JesseBe of sufficient length There is no specific length requirement for answers, and the best course of action is not necessarily removal. Some answers may be okay, even though they are significantly shorter than others that were deleted. Ultimately length is just an indicator for the amount of cont...

Does size matter? :P
@NVZ It's not the size it's how you use it. :p
If an one sentence answer somehow answers the question, provides arguments in support and otherwise meets the criteria for a good answer I'd upvote it.
@NVZ I think that comment about 'if you already meet all other expectations here, you're good' is pretty right;) so, as long as an answer doesn't have any of the problems a oneliner tends to have, it doesn't matter ;)
Similarly just because an answer hits the 30k character limit doesn't make it a good answer.
In general I prefer concise answers to long winded ones. The quicker a point is made the better .
JAD
JAD
@NVZ seeing as it has -3 points, no
NVZ
NVZ
17:26
I for one prefer short answers; crisp, clear, succinct, to the point.
For me it depends
NVZ
NVZ
@sphennings Yeah, definitely. english.stackexchange.com/a/157331/50044
For example, anongoodnurse usually writes long answers and I very much enjoy reading them.
NVZ
NVZ
@AnneDaunted I would as well. But time is the issue.
NVZ
NVZ
17:49
If I have a custom font installed locally on my PC, how do I use that in my Chrome browser's Stylish extension to replace a website font? Where do I ask this? Or does anyone here know?
I'm already replacing some fonts with Google fonts. I want to place system installed ones instead now.
18:01
I don't use Chrome
NVZ
NVZ
18:28
@AnneDaunted True words.
18:45
interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9660/… This seems too broad to me. Thoughts?
I agree that it sounds quite broad. Contains no less than 4 questions.
0
Q: How to communicate to my wife when she doesn't hear what I'm saying?

AnonSometimes when I talk to my wife she doesn't hear the same thing that I think I'm saying. Example 1 I once asked her as kindly as I could "Sweetheart could you do the dishes more often?" Now don't get mad at me, I'm very willing to help out around the house. At that time I felt like I was d...

19:01
Some of our silver-tongued members could probably answer example 1, though.
@AnneDaunted That's entirely dependent upon the personality of the partner.
Besides if "Can you do the dishes more?" results in tears and "You think I'm lazy." there are bigger issues at play.
Yes, but the phrasing could be improved
E. g. omit the "more often" which implies that she doesn't do them often enough and so she thinks "He thinks I'm lazy!"
Sure you could use a different register, "I feel x , would you mind doing the dishes more often"
Or a more specific "Since I have a commitment after dinner on <day of week> could you do the dishes?"
I'm not silver-tongued myself. But I have seen other members work miracles. And that's something to work with, at least. Not saying that's it's enough, though.
I think the phrasing is good enough. There are probably better ways to word it but I don't think that optimal phrasing would resolve this situation. You have to do some digging to get "you are lazy" from "can you do the dishes more often".
Going through a relationship always asking yourself "what are all the potential ways that this statement could be misinterpreted?" is untenable.
19:28
@AnneDaunted Oh sure ;) That one is pretty answerable :) I suggested the OP to maybe focus on that one alone :)
@sphennings What about 'Honey, if you won't mind, would you do the dishes while I clean the toilet? Or would you rather do some other housework, the laundry also still needs to be done ;)'
(That's the one my mom pulls out every time... Ugh! How can I say no to that!)
@Tinkeringbell That's a good way to phrase it.
Unfortunately not knowing the context of the ask it's hard to know how best to package it.
@sphennings Yeah, I agree. Oh well, let's see if the OP edits their question, or at least comments to confirm that they're willing to do so ;)
I am getting an amazing amount of downvotes lately... my newest question has 3 already!
This one can use a last close-vote, the OP doesn't have the time to edit it right now :) interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9660/…
63/3 isn't a bad number.
@sphennings It's 20/1 = 5 percent downvotes!
No wait, I'm not doing that right..
1/21 is roughly 5%
19:41
Yeah, 4,7 something to be precise ;)
You're a women on the internet expressing your reproductive freedom. I'm surprised so few people have suggested hysterectomies as a potential option.
@sphennings Ah well, they're not feasible anyways I guess..
I asked a few years back, but then I was too young. (I must say it had more to do with a medical issue than not wanting children). Since then, I've worked on some medicine with my doctor and I think if I were to ask now they would say it's under control to such an extent that there's no medical necessity.
It's a little extreme for clearly expressing to your partner that you don't want kids and you don't expect that to change in the future.
@sphennings That too ;)
That's like slashing your tires to tell your partner that you don't want to go out tonight.
19:45
Why is there an edit from January 11th just now showing up in the reopen queue?
@sphennings You have a thing for car analogies, don't you? :P
They seem to keep popping up.
I do have a rather weird car situation, that would have made great IPS questions if I didn't figure them out on my own.
For the past 3 months I've been driving a stranger's car for free. It was only a month ago when I finally met the accidentally at a munch.
@sphennings I think Jefromi wrote on meta to please ask, even if you know the answer ;) We're hungry for good question to answer, so if you can make it work, try :P
Might make for some interesting insight, and maybe even an answer that suggests the same as what you did, so you can accept one ;)
@sphennings That's... strange?
A mutual friend brokered a deal where I'd drive there car in exchange for changing the oil and parking it at my place. Out of the blue, one day they handed me a pair of keys and said to go to an address and pick up a car.
You sure it isn't some sort of scam?
I would be very sceptical of such offers ;)
I don't see how there's money in this for anyone. Then I met the owner at a munch.... They confirmed that there wasn't a scam.
19:51
@sphennings Nice, free car! :)
Basically. I just got a text from the owner today saying they're looking to sell it by June, and asking me what time in the next 5 months worked best for me to return the car to them.
Now I'm trying to figure out whether it's worth it to buy the car off them or buy a car of my own.
I definitely need a car since driving shaves 2 hours per day off my commute over public transit.
@sphennings That's not really an IPS question though :P We can't tell you what you should do :)
(I'd just buy the car, you're used to it, you're probably also pretty sure it's in good shape)
And in both cases you'd be buying a car of your own ;)
The IPS questions would have been something like "How do I express appreciation when someone I don't know is being extremely generous?"
If it was a friend I'd buy them a nice bottle of their favorite booze and call it good.
@sphennings Why not do it now as well? :P Start a friendship :)
We've crossed paths at social events a few times now. I'm totally down with becoming friends.
20:03
Then, booze and an offer of reciprocity :)
And you're good to go I think :)
I still don't know what they drink so getting them something that they'll really like isn't there yet.
@sphennings Then maybe not booze, but some snacks?
You can do some assorted ones on that
Or ask the mutual friend, maybe they know!
There are lots of things I could do. I'm prone to overthinking these things, especially what my actions communicate to others.
@sphennings Hmmm... Yeah, I can't really help with that :)
20:32
It's really frustrating when you have 35 more votes than the accepted answer but the accepted answer has only 2 votes so you can't even get the populist badge as a consolation prize.
20:51
@sphennings Awww :( That's indeed very disappointing!

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