@Beofett people like this - do not understand the experience of being a minority group and carry a chip that anything that smells of positive discrimination is somehow discriminating against them. They truly do not grasp that we're not always on a level playing field and people are just trying to level it. It's like the attitudes so many people have towards Aboriginals here. They cannot see that their own mentality is the reason these people need to be helped to be able to compete fairly.
@BradleyWilson I only chimed in - I had a look at the starred posts and thought I'd offer the support. It's not something I like to bring up - but rather reply to, if that makes sense. Thanks for the feedback.
@BradleyWilson also this is pretty much how I try and live life - I fail all the time in understanding others, but I strive to be better.
Much can be solved in trying to understand the other person
@Beofett I was away from the computer when you responded. This didn't happen at SE, but it was a tech forum. It kind of scares me how many right-wingers occupy the field. It used to be filled with libertarians, but now it seems to be full of "alt-right". And I would also encourage you to write SE management, too.
@BradleyWilson It's the human condition - practicing using our frontal lobes to override our emotional responses - after all - it's our frontal lobes that put us at the top of the food chain
@YvetteColomb That reminds me of a quote from the famous Dutch philosopher Baruch Spinoza "The highest activity a human being can attain is learning for understanding because to understand is to be free"
@YvetteColomb I couldn't agree more, emotional trumps logic far too often.
@YvetteColomb Yes, if you point out someting is sexist, you can get the wrath of Khan on your head. But then some people did come to my defense, but it was only at that point, after people started defending me, that they shut down the conversation. When they were just hurling invectives at me, it was just fine.
It is still importan to speak out, however. But don't respond when they make ad hominem attacks.
@gracious1 the disappointing thing - is so many men<alt/people> are supportive of women<alt/any minority> and then there's these loud mouthed thugs who ruin it for the rest of us.
I mean look at what's happened in Charlottesville. We have so much ignorance, hate and deception to clean up within our species
@Beofett the baser side of humankind is frightening indeed
The only good thing that is happening in the US atm is that the elephant in the room is now well and truly visible and being discussed - I don't know how we can erase bigotry from our species
@YvetteColomb I believe the only way is education. So much of bigotry is based upon ignorance and misconception. And so many people are eager to share that ignorance and misconceptions to further their own ends.
it doesn't help more with the echo chambers of the internet (easily found by typing your views into a box), where bigots will be encouraged, go unchallenged and facts skewed.
@Beofett yep - I know we're not supposed to discuss politics - but it's all a jumbled mess that spills down into society and culture and affects our IPS
The echo chamber effect is really becoming an issue, and it is not limited to just one side of the political spectrum.
The internet, and social media, have seemingly created an infinite number of echo chambers, where people can find "confirmation" on just about any preconceived notion.
@BradleyWilson yep. The internet is a little scary. So much misinformation is replacing facts. I try to teach my children to question what they see online - it's like holding up a surfboard at a tidal wave
@Beofett yep - that's what I like about SE - is there's an effort to maintain some integrity on the information we post
I like that analogy @YvetteColomb, I feel it's almost a knock on effect of the advertising algorithms (especially social media). Not too sure we can step back from it now.
by discussing it like this - intelligent people gathering - keep striving to make the world a better place and hope that the ripple effect will help - I honestly don't know.
@YvetteColomb I really like what Thomas Jefferson had to say on the idea of questioning things.
> Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there is one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.
At the Pale Moon forum, I never told the guy, "You are a sexist pig". I said that I couldn't believe he as attributing gender differences at the workplace to biology rather than socialization, and I compared his remarks to "Blacks are better suited than Whites to be a basketball players or janitors" and "Jews are better suited than Gentiles to be lawyers". And lastly, once the man at Google had published that memo, no woman could work under him, so he had to be let go.
But I never said, "You are a male-chauvinist pig" or "you are a crazy right-wingnut"
@BradleyWilson I almost think SJW is a nice name. :p
@Beofett I've been brooding on that one a lot recently. More and more it shocks me that Google did not appear to know how to handle it.
...or indeed, even be aware that such options were held among the tank and file.
How does a company go almost two decades without learning how to manage such things?
It makes me think of this old essay... Wherein, a story is constructed of how an organization might replace the knowledge of why things are done with a process for how things are done, inadvertently losing track of the why... in, heh, the process.
2
And then it's shocking to the folks who've been around forever and still remember the why of it all, that new folks would question the how and dare to suggest that perhaps no "why" exists.
@Shog9 I must admit I hadn't seen much about Google's response beyond some vague disavowal, and that the guy was fired
I have always considered Google one of the "standards" by which hiring process and the search for quality employees might be judged.
The fact that they hired someone whose personal beliefs I find repugnant does not surprise me. There are many personality types out there, and many of them are not generally apparent within work environments (and some may argue they are equally irrelevant in the context of work)
One of the key parts I struggle to understand is how they could have hired someone who would feel it appropriate to send a 10 page "memo" such as this engineer did. That demonstrates such a lack of judgment that I can't imagine how he didn't raise flags earlier
@Shog9 Ugh. Once a situation like that reaches a certain point, transparency becomes more of an ally than liability... because a lack of transparency suggests that they are unwilling to take severe steps to address the problem
I suspect the echo chamber effect that was the subject of earlier discussion contributed. No doubt this engineer had been involved in echo chamber discussions where the views he had expressed were considered the norm
I've already read most of it, to be honest... I think part of the problem is that we have some nebulous "back it up" rule but no agreed-upon treatment of answers that don't follow the rule... I think post notices might be useful but they also require mods to put them up and to be the arbiters of when they are needed.
Sure. And what happens when all of our lovely users come looking for my head on a plate? I say "I deleted them because we agreed ____ and this answer, despite all the upvotes, did not do ___"?
I got offered a job, but I can't really accept it right now because I'm very stable where I'm working and I don't pretend to leave my actual job.
I don't know the person who offered me, but I don't want to burn bridges.
How I can politely decline the job I got offered?
6.6 questions per day Can we get up to 10 or even beyond 10 and keep it that way while also keeping our other stats at a positive rating Find out that and more in I haven't got a name for this series yet.
Damn the time zones. When I'm alive and awake, this chat room is a ghost town. (insert tumbleweed gif here). And when I'm gone, there's a party going on.
As a member of both communities, maybe it's better just to have your eyes on the questions, and offer the suggestion that they ask questions here when it's warranted.
I am thinking that the mods are not wanting to reward bounties among themselves. The best answers for the first 50 days keep looking like they come from the mods. Nominating one of those seems to defeat the purpose of the project.
Granted, it shows that the CMs picked good members as mods.
There has been a question rattling around in my mind since I started to participate actively on this site. After reading this question, I feel the need to bring it up in meta.
I'm active on several SE sites, and each has it's own subset of "rules", or, if you will, culture. Looking through this ...
2. Avoid negative words - instead use positive words in a negative form.
http://www.macmillandictionaryblog.com/five-rules-of-thumb-for-polite-and-diplomatic-language:
People react to positive sounding words, even if they are used with a negative auxiliary verb.
Don’t say: [1.] I think th...
@ExtrovertedMainMan That's an interesting concept, with quirky results.
@Mithrandir That's the "something else" I was referring to when it was mentioned that it had been favorited. I half expect that it was intended for that. User has a several minute older account on SO as well (iirc).
Sometime, about a decade ago, I learned that for some reason the mind ignores the negating part of a statement. I say "The goal is to not go crazy", and what the mind stores in memory is "the goal is to go crazy."
Every Wednesday the cleaning lady comes to clean the hallways of the apartment building and is always looking to strike up long conversations with every single tenant who passes across her.
She speaks in a different dialect to me, so I can't mostly make sense out of what she says, but it's clear...
Normally I keep the systems topped off. ATM the housemate is recovering from surgery and 2nd-hand smoke is bad for the healing process, so need to go outside to recharge the tanks.
(but I'm asthmatic and allergic to smoke, and so it's kind of a real annoyance and possibly dangerous for me when people smoke in public, which they do everywhere here)
Everywhere I've been recently (several USA states) it's no longer allowed in the malls. I even know of one city where it's illegal to smoke on the street. Private property only.
The TL:DR is the actual heading. The rest is all backstory on why I am asking. I am asking if I can (or maybe even should try) to assist my spouse on becoming more self aware.
My husband and I were doing a quiz tonight. Sometimes we do these. They are often just interesting. Usually we ea...
Question: My ball bounced into the yard of my next door neighbor, who once threatened to throw rocks at me ...for playing ball in my own yard. How should I get the ball back?
Oh, we called the police when he threatened to throw rocks at me for throwing a ball against my own house when it was still legal to make noise at night... like, before ten.
I've got a problem with my nose. It randomly starts bleeding whenever, especially when I have a cold or the weather is changing. It's been known to suddenly start bleeding even when I'm just standing there. I've got to meet with some people (most my age (15), others 17/18). What should I do if I have a nosebleed in the middle? Run out and take care of it? Sit there with a tissue on my nose until it stops? Something else?
@Catija Inspired by your Why do men shake hands with each other but hug women? question, have you ever considered a references meta-tag, so that any answers to any question tagged with that has to provide references? Would it help solve the references/no references issue? Or is it a bad idea?
Based in the USA I can't help, but I always just help my nose, covered with tissue if I had it. Sometimes I poked some into my nose. Looked ugly. I'm a non-people person anyway, so what others thought didn't matter much.
Side note: carefully consider the pro/con of a medical fix. I had mine cauterized at one point. A few years later the burns just fell off like a scab and made no difference. Big waste of parent's money.
I've got a problem with my nose. It randomly starts bleeding whenever, especially when I have a cold or the weather is changing. It's been known to suddenly start bleeding even when I'm just standing there. I've got to meet with some people (most my age (15), others 17/18). What should I do if I ...
I've added a note on my profile: Reach me @ chat.stackexchange.com/rooms/61165/the-awkward-silence I'd like to know if there's some way that I get notified of new messages here, even if I have been away from chat for a while.
TL;DR: How do I to tell a judgemental person with unsubstantiated statements, making it a clear and definitive statement, that she may not move things around in our office?
That person isn't business-related but is family-related to my business partner.
She always critizes, not directly with wo...
I'm from France (sorry for grammar mistakes) and I've been educated with "eating manners" I consider "normal" (chew with your mouth closed, don't pout your elbows on the table, wait until everyone is served before starting to eat...).
I'm OK with people that doesn't share theses "rules" though.
...
Background
I broke up with my ex about some years ago. I've been through a lot all those (many) years I was in a relationship with her, due to the fact that she suffered from various disorders such as depression, anorexia and OCD. Just to be clear I don't blame her for having those issues - and ...
My mother is quite single-minded in getting what she wants. Unfortunately, she also has only a single tactic: trying to convince me every single time we talk.
Most of these things are products or activities that my wife and I have no interest in. Yet saying "no" is not a solution. It just lea...
@RoryAlsop I also have a suspicion that newly launched sites are more likely to have questions show in HNQ
@NVZ If you don't pop into chat periodically, I think the only alternative is for a moderator to "super-ping" you
@GypsySpellweaver I had the same experience, with one additional "benefit". For several years later, I could deliberately cause a nosebleed just by crinkling my nose a certain way.
If a mod flags it as r/a, it will apply the -100 penalty.
If it was flagged a r/a and a mod regular deletes it, it'll show as 'deleted as spam of offensive' but the IP ban/-100 rep penalty aren't applied, AFAIK.
Yesterday, I was going out with a friend. We were looking for parking in a small city (population ~30,000) in the northeastern United States at around 6:00 PM, and things were fairly crowded. After 20 minutes, we saw that a woman was walking towards her car, parked in a roadside spot. She saw us ...
The other thing about post notices is that they take a lot of effort to work. I handle almost all of the hard-science threads on WB, and that still requires a lot of community flagging so I can keep up with what posts need the notice added and what posts don't. We have one or two users there who are very diligent about raising custom flags for that; I'm not sure how many people would be willing to do that here.
But I suppose it does depend on how many of those sorts of questions we get.
@HDE226868 fair enough. I'd still like a more rigourous standard of how the notices are applied, but that's not a problem for here and probably one of those things where everyone disagrees with me anyway
@Mithrandir24601 I think it could be a good option not too far down the road. It has potential; I just don't think it's something we want to go after now, considering all the other stuff we're sorting out at the moment.
I work. A Lot.
Most of my job consists of running quantitative analysis on a variety of financials for a few different companies (I work for a holding company), and as I recently joined the company, I am still learning the ins and outs. Most of my current tasks revolve around trying to make the...
Leaving is preferably not an option. I'm not particularly good at socializing so I want to practice by participating in as many group conversations as I can. There isn't any group that I prefer more than others, they're all the same to me.
Here's a little background on what type of people I'm de...
In How can I let my boss know her methods for management aren't useful? the OP asked for a chat session to improve her question.
After a week or two thinking why we don't have our sandbox thread, is it time to create one?
We have 18 questions closed with various reasons this month, so I think s...
An email I received from my daughter's 2nd grade teacher has a grammatical error. The teacher wrote "your daughter can meet with Amy and I" where he should have written "your daughter can meet with Amy and me". The email was cc'd to other teachers but not other parents. I do think that it's impor...
@ExtrovertedMainMan the American and Canadian kids here correct the English teacher often, or so I've heard (never having set foot in the school myself)
@Anoplexian I'm here now but I was at lunch. I don't think there's anything wrong with your question, actually. I'm trying to prevent people from pointing you towards Workplace by getting clarification of the IPS connection. A lot of people see "this is a work issue" and want to push the question over there... if it's specifically about communication, you're in the right place.
"Belling the Cat" is a fable also known under the titles "The Bell and the Cat" and "The Mice in Council". Although often attributed to Aesop, it was not recorded before the Middle Ages and has been confused with the quite different fable of Classical origin titled The Cat and the Mice. In the classificatory system established for the fables by B. E. Perry, it is numbered 613, which is reserved for Mediaeval attributions outside the Aesopic canon.
== Synopsis and idiomatic use ==
The fable concerns a group of mice who debate plans to nullify the threat of a marauding cat. One of them proposes...
@Beofett The question's only been up for an hour... we can't exactly start acting on it already. HDE makes some very important points that need to be addressed before we do this. We're also considering some other options.
@Catija Not my suggestion... I was just pointing out what appeared to be the context :) I had to do research to even figure out what was meant by a "sandbox"....
@HDE226868 he's so introverted that he tries to get all interaction with him to end ASAP, so puts a full stop in his name to keep interactions to a minimum
This was inspired by:
How do I deal with a mother who won't take "no" for an answer?
How do I convince someone else to change their behavior? This sort of question was and is a recurring problem on the Workplace. But we have defined this sort of question off topic.
People are very different f...
I'm a high-school student in the United States, and from time to time a teacher makes a minor mistake while writing on the board in front of the class. (Such as a punctuation/arithmetic mistake.)
To give an example, I took an informal math class during the summer. The teacher, only a few years o...
I have an office mate who can be a bit passive aggressive. I'm very quiet and tend to not say anything in order to "not rock the boat".
I have, in the past, tried to saying something, but it tends to get redirected by her saying that I'm coming towards her with some form of "micro-aggression". T...