« first day (43 days earlier)      last day (2754 days later) » 

00:00
it addresses what to do if you're not in school, though.
and there's quite a few students around on SE.
Let me highlight
Hi there! It sounds like you've been through a rough time. I'd love to help right now, but many of us here just aren't very skilled at providing assistance in situations like these. I just want to let you know that many of us who see this all care for you, and we all wish you all the best!
You're best option is to try and find a psychiatrist or a social worker in your community. If you're still in school, you may be able to find support there. You may also find this web service (chat.itskoko.com/?channel=stack) to be of use. Thanks, and I really wish you the best :)
If it's designed to be a general use-case comment, then it shouldn't make any assumptions of the user's background - which is in this case being a student.
no, no, I know, I mean it addresses both situations, and both situations may occur on this site.
it says "Your best option is to try and find a psychiatrist or social worker" - what to do if not student
"if still in school, find support there" - what to do if student
"you may also find this web service" - for both cases.
Yep, but for a "general" case, it's just fluff
okay.
Better to leave out the information you don't need. People will come and copy/paste that comment when they want to place a comment.
00:04
i have deleted that.
thanks
0
Q: Avoiding really bad dress choices

heatherI'm completely ignorant about this sort of thing. I.e., my mom had to tell me that khakis and white shirts do not go together. (Apparently, this was an understatement?) My idea of "nice" is a casual button up shirt with jeans. And sneakers. And that's an improvement over my previous definition of...

Any @Catija is some kind of god who beats me to commenting on a question ;P
00:20
I've been dealing with this meta stuff all day. Haven't gotten to do anything fun all day... well, not since this morning.
@Catija :'(
0
Q: How to respond to a pushy vegan?

ArnoldFI work in an office with a couple rather militant vegan coworkers. If I bring any animal products to lunch (even cheese, they know the smell), I'm likely to get a long, preachy, earful about it. Doesn't matter if I'm at my desk or in the lounge. I've thought about the issue plenty, and even heard...

what can I do to improve my question? i gave an example of what i'm looking for.
i described what region of u.s. I'm in, age range, etc. to narrow it down.
i reworded it to make it clearer.
 
5 hours later…
05:36
0
Q: How to avoid my roommate to give him money loan?

Farabi SiddiqueI live in a hostel. My roommate is very disturbing. Because he doesn't payback money loan in time. But he pretends a good person to everyone with good appearance and smile. I want to avoid him to give him any loan. How can I do that easily when I live with him?

A J
A J
06:29
@ExtrovertedMainMan I didn't expect my answer to be accepted that soon.
Also OP might doubted that I am following him here and on M&TV. :D
Well, it's the answer I would put forth too :)
06:45
If I can't afford to give it away, I can't afford to lend it either.
Though, sometimes, lending someone money, knowing they will hide from me to avoid paying it back, is a good way to make them go away too.
0
Q: How to discreetly reject an attention-seeker while you listen to someone else?

Anne DauntedThe scenario: A group of people, who have known each other for a very long time, meets again. Among them are Alice and Mallory. Alice: She has been gone for quite a while and just came back. Now she has a lot of new stories to tell, and we are eager to listen to her. Mallory: She is an attenti...

@GypsySpellweaver Though I doubt that's efficient ;)
@Zizouz212 Not in the long-term, for sure. It does, however, become demonstrative of their behavior, and investment risk. =)
lol
Heh, I'm actually positive for rep :P
@ExtrovertedMainMan Context sure would be nice. Sounds like US, Canada, or UK, most likely US, but who knows?
06:57
@Zizouz212 What should I DV for you? <_<
ಠ_ಠ
I should just aim to rep cap with edits :P
Maybe I will... I'm going to put forward a whole bunch of tag wiki edits, if I feel like putting the effort. Started with Bangladesh‌​.
@Zizouz212 I done that once. Drove the reviewers crazy trying to keep up. Each one can only approve 20 per 24 hrs, and it takes two to approve. :(
You just get the moderators to go in line... Then the community members... Then you break the system :P
@Zizouz212 Check it.
-- 2017-04-08 rep +48   = 1295
 16   694422 (2)
 16   496493 (2)
 16   384658 (2)
 16    98183 (2)
 16    48903 (2)
 16    38332 (2)
 16   467533 (2)
 16   722763 (2)
 16    81534 (2)
 16   100457 (2)
 16   314598 (2)
 16    88488 (2)
 16   531594 (2)
 16   562154 (2)
 16     7932 (2)
 16   647155 (2)
 16   350860 (2)
 16   835281 (2)
 16   119307 (2)
 16   678887 (2)
 16   749839 (2)
 16    62347 (2)
 16    70421 (2)
 16   570862 (2)
 16   920498 (2)
 16   156317 (2)
 16   870785 (2)
 16   464080 (2)
07:01
What am I looking at?
One days rep
Oh snap
With a boat-load of zero rep edits :(
Where did you get that load of information?
use <site>/reputation, gives your own for the site, interpersonal.stackexchange.com/reputation
07:05
Ok gang, hope any of my earlier commentary was helpful. I'm gonna drop out of this room at this point, I've got too many chat rooms active as it is :) Best of luck to you and yours, and hope IPS thrives!
Thanks @Rubio although I can bet you'll end up coming back ;)
Anyways... I'm going to head out.
@Zizouz212 Adios
SQB
SQB
07:18
@ExtrovertedMainMan Is that for real? I've never encountered that; only the opposite (having to justify my (then current) nutritional choices).
 
2 hours later…
A J
A J
09:20
@Hamlet Please stop targeting me specifically.
Either do it completely or don't do this at all.
@Catija I'd like to have a word with you.
NVZ
NVZ
Sup, AJ?
A J
A J
Not much.
09:36
@AJ if I'm targeting you, it wasn't intentional, but I will stop leaving comments on your posts on this site in the future. Hope that works.
A J
A J
@Hamlet Please look at the question also. OP is asking for suggestions and I wrote based on my experience.
@AJ do you want a response or do you want me to stop targeting You?
A J
A J
@Hamlet I want you to stop targeting me specifically.
NVZ
NVZ
I see where this is going
[grabs pop corn]
A J
A J
@Hamlet Comment is fine. But I'd like to ask what about the other answer?
09:42
@AJ ok, again, I will stop leaving comments on your posts on this site, and any site where I am not a moderator. I hope that fixes things.
A J
A J
@Hamlet As I said, comment and DV is fine. What am I asking don't do it partially. Did you seriously take a look at the question?
NVZ
NVZ
but seriously.. come on.. let me in on this. AJ, your answer looks okay to me, but it could use some extra info as to why those suggestions work; up to you. Hamlet, maybe you should wait a bit longer until your meta answer shows a clear consensus before linking to it as your backup.
@NVZ i wasn't linking to it as backup, I was linking to it bc comments aren't long enough to explain my thoughts
Notice that I linked to the answer, not the question.
And this isn't an issue of consensus; other than not targeting specific community members, there are no restrictions on how people vote. That answer just proposes a criteria for voting.
And this isn't an issue of consensus; other than not targeting specific community members, there are no restrictions on how people vote. That answer just proposes a criteria for voting, which people are free to follow or not follow.
Answers should be more than suggestions. Explain why your advice is worth following. — Hamlet 48 secs ago
A J
A J
You didn't answer my question yet.
No be honest, SE is ideally a quick break from work for me, so I don't have time to read everything. I voted on your answer because it was the accepted one, I didn't get to the other one because the break was up
The comment i linked to was a comment on the other question.
09:53
@Zizouz212 this is on you?
wow
get the mods to check it
A J
A J
@Hamlet Now, I had to take the break to have this conversation and write that answer.
@AJ you didn't have to take a break, you didn't have to write an answer, and you certainly didn't have to have this conversation. If you felt I was targeting you, you could have left a moderator flag.
A J
A J
@Hamlet I don't flag directly to mod. I first always talk to user even when it comes to offensive/rude/abusive comment.
10:13
@AJ well, ok. You've accused me of specially targeting your posts. I've given you an explanation of why I only voted on your post. If you still think I'm targeting you, the best option will be to escalate to the moderators of this site, who have tools for detecting voting abuse.
NVZ
NVZ
@YvetteColomb No need. It's showing that @Zizouz212 downvoted several posts and lost 1 rep for each..
10:31
@NVZ ah I see thanks
11:10
0
Q: How do I react when a girl I like have a new haircut I don't like very much?

BregaladI've had a past experience (~10 years ago) where a girl I liked asked me about whether I liked her fake nails. I answered honestly and say I didn't like them at all and prefer natural nails, and she was upset. This was a bad however very life-instructing experience, that in some rare cases saying...

0
Q: How to politely ask someone if they want to eat my (leftover) lunch/dinner/snacks?

OrangeOften times at work I take home cooked food and I can’t eat all of it. So, a few weeks back I asked my colleague if they wanted my lunch because I have already eaten from it. They minded that and said that’s not a proper way to share the food and that it is rude. So what’s the proper wording or...

11:41
@Hamlet I'd recommend either making some of the comments longer or adding a link to them. Otherwise, they're somewhat vague.
@SBI Welcome to our site chat room!
12:26
0
Q: Asking a work colleague to stop reading things aloud?

They Who like QuietA work colleague keeps reading things they find on the internet aloud. They aren't interesting and it's a little annoying. They are usually very instant on doing so with provocation. What's the best way to ask them to stop reading without sounding rude at all?

NVZ
NVZ
Woah...3 HNQ from IPS in a day!
Look alive! Poor quality answers incoming.
A J
A J
:\
NVZ
NVZ
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
1 hour later…
13:58
wow - last time I was in here it was dead. great to see it active but odd to read people discussing my answers :)
 
1 hour later…
15:35
@NVZ :)
I think I've lost maybe 50 points to down voting answers?
Yep. 56 answers downvoted :/
Actually, @NVZ, before I forget (and since I noticed you approved my edit), is the Bangladesh tag wiki a good fit to model other country-based tags?
And everyone else for that matter :)
GOOD MORNING!!! Are we ready for another day of magic on IPS???!!!
I'm on totally the wrong timezone - I leave the office (in 15 minutes) just as you lot seem to come online. Hope you have a magic day!
What do you all think about the pregnant lady question? I'm starting to debate whether it is too broad.
@KevPrice Hey there!
i like it because it is difficult to answer the question directly. that to do what the question asks actually requires use of interpersonal skills delicately. That saying 'dont do it' may be good advice but doesnt necessarily employ skill
hey hey
15:51
@KevPrice My concern is more that the OP is disinterested in being specific about why they are asking the question. See my comment here:
@Anoplexian I can't force you to edit your question but I will absolutely defend that why you are asking a question is one of the most important parts of any question, particularly a hot-button one like this. If you're merely curious, the answer is - "Don't ask. Period" If you have a legitimate need to know, for safety or health reasons, that is completely different. — Catija ♦ 5 mins ago
@Cat
oops
I accepted this because it answered the actual question, rather than saying only "Don't ask the question". Whether or not it's correct to ask someone whether or not they are pregnant, the question was regarding how to ask, and this answer gave me the best information regarding that. — Anoplexian 2 hours ago
gotta get the hang of these chat bits
It seemed like they were looking for an answer that they liked.
A J
A J
@Catija It's now night and day is going to be over in 3 hours. ;-P
NVZ
NVZ
15:52
@Zizouz212 To be honest, I didn't read it fully, I just trust you would know very well how to make it good.
@Zizouz212 That's sort of irrelevant.
@Catija You got it :)
NVZ
NVZ
The graphs and stuff, I didn't see the point. Why is that there?
@Catija I take your point. That on something as specific as this to answer them more information regarding the circumstances should be required in order to give a more carefully engineered answer
@AJ Did you get everything sorted from earlier?
A J
A J
15:54
@Catija Huh?
@NVZ lol... I should just make the [Canada] tag just this: "Canada is just full of sorry sayers. There's only a few hockey rinks surrounded by polar bears. Not much to see here, carry along..."
@Catija Well, it signals to me that it wouldn't be a genuine question, which looks to the "why" portion of your comment.
@KevPrice Exactly. For example, if they really are considering a trip to a roller coaster park or a winery, there's no reason to single out one person in the office... almost any of the women could be pregnant ... or anyone could be in AA... if they really want to be inclusive, they need to consider all of the possibilities.
NVZ
NVZ
@Zizouz212 The graphs and stuff, I didn't see the point. Why is that there?
@Zizouz212 True. I guess when I said that it's irrelevant I was meaning to say that we shouldn't necessarily consider that in this case.
@AJ You pinged me earlier?
@Catija then yeah. I would agree 'too Broad '
NVZ
NVZ
15:56
Hello, Catija
This is a bit cynical on the surface, but I understand the intent. However, there are many cases in which it would be my business to know, such as if I'm organizing a company outing in which a pregnancy could limit the options. I wouldn't alienate someone or otherwise penalize them for a pregnancy (there's also laws about it, but IANAL) and leaving them out could cause a possibly easily avoidable morale issue. These are not cases where I can wait 9 months, not can I not ask. The obvious answer is to wait, but in reality that's not always possible. — Anoplexian 21 hours ago
^ Even this comment confused me as to the overall intent of the question, and the reason why I was going to put a "business" minded answer there
I'm glad I found chat - I'd been blindly doing reviews without the full argument and discussion that goes on here haha
@NVZ Same reason I included on my India post on meta. And they maybe looked fancy.
@KevPrice Welcome! We should definitely transfer some of this stuff to meta eventually.
A J
A J
@Catija Oh yeah. I have already sorted this out. No worries. :)
15:57
@NVZ Hi!
@Catija Too many awkward silences to make a good flowing answer :P
Anyways... I have to head out, so I'll see you all later :)
Bye!
okies - glad to have found you. Will likely hang out here tomorrow GMT. Have a great day
NVZ
NVZ
16:28
@Catija re: meta question, yours.
Isn't it beneficial to know that some action is not only rude, but is also illegal?
@NVZ also is one thing. Many of those answer don't even address the rudeness. One of them even says something along the lines of "it doesn't matter if it's rude, it's against the law".
NVZ
NVZ
That is true.
But we are not lawyers or police officers or even HR. We need to answer the questions as asked. The OP may already know that it's illegal or that they should address HR... if it's a workplace issue like that, it doesn't belong here.
NVZ
NVZ
Imagine trespassing or breaking and entering your neighbour's house. "Is it rude?" is not a valid question. It's beyond that. It's illegal.
I'm not really interested in hypothetical questions. You're setting up some example that's extreme. We have three actual questions that aren't asking for legal advice.
but are getting it.
NVZ
NVZ
16:32
Okay. No hypotheticals then. Hmm.
If we spend all of our time on "what if", we won't ever make good policy for this site.
NVZ
NVZ
That, again, very true.
But, I am sort of in the area of preparing for what if scenarios. Sort of.
Anywho.
We need to fight the battles we have, not make up ones that might come around. We only have so much time in the day. If we start getting questions like that, we will address it when it happens.
NVZ
NVZ
True, true. Yes I know. I'm only noting that as an engineer, it's in me to think of "what if" scenarios. Not that they are necessary on the site.
I fully agree with you.
I'd make the argument that answers (unless explicitly asked) should be irrespective of the law as laws can and do change over time, so saying that something is illegal without answering whether or not it's e.g. rude, only for it to be made legal at some later time would completely invalidate that answer (although I can't see this happening for breaking and entering)
NVZ
NVZ
16:37
@Mithrandir24601 In that note, "rudeness" is also subject to change with time.
... I'm a planner. That's what I do. When I was a producer, it was my job to plan ahead for contingencies and make sure we knew what to do if they were to happen... I'm also having to fight this urge! You should have seen how I handled the early beta of A&C. Robert was doing then what I'm doing now... encouraging us to pick our battles.
0
Q: Can answers be off topic? - How to deal with answers that address legal issues

CatijaWe have had a couple of questions that ask about ways to deal with interactions with others. These questions are perfectly on topic here because they are asking about interpersonal issues. Sometimes, these questions may have solutions that are less about what is "polite" or "rude" or some other ...

NVZ
NVZ
@IntrovertedMetaMan. oh man, you're always late to the parties.
@Catija I star that.
@NVZ yeah, but 'what is rude' changes gradually, while a law is very sudden
NVZ
NVZ
@Mithrandir24601 I'm not picking a fight, just messing wit ye.
;)
16:42
@NVZ them sounds like fightin' words! :P
I'm off to lunch. :D
NVZ
NVZ
I'm onto dinner
Today was a good day.
I've not asked a question on SE for quite some time now.
A J
A J
17:22
I already have.
17:46
-1
Q: rude to receiving on improvment of internet english

PRASHANT Pi am needful of help with the internet english for much years i am try of study. it became difficult, ok.., maybe it is too many football time :) i am learned for "daily use" is best, and on the stack overflow -. many improvment is receive. i am of thanking. but is rude for improvment be recei...

 
1 hour later…
18:49
0
Q: How to address stranger?

user39269What are the proper norms for addressing a total stranger whose name is not known to you? Does it differ from place to place or is there a global norm about how to address strangers?

19:02
Might be worth making it clear to the OP that if they don't provide a location, the question might be closed.
If you feel inclined, you could ask what region of switzerland.
19:57
is anyone currently around? I have a question I want to ask, and want to make sure the premise makes sense
Always.
Not really... but ask away.
Unless you want someone else's advice.
nah, you'll do
you know that thing where you're walking, and someone else is walking in the opposite direction, and you sort of look at each other and nod?
Yes.
okay, good. I want to ask at what point you're supposed to look at each other, and wanted to make sure I wasn't imagining the entire exchange
Considering the fact that some people don't do this at all... I don't know there's an answer to that.... Some people stare at the floor the entire time, others smile, others nod... yet others may be really excited about something and outright talk... crazy people, that they are... saying "hello" to random persons in the hallway...
20:02
I used to do that. It's what my dad does, so he taught me to do it. Now I just nod and do that thing TV androids do when they try to smile
I feel like we have a similar question... not a dupe but something related.
[Rytsas @DaaaahWhoosh]
Fancy seeing you here :P
@Mithrandir24601 I've been trying to branch out
@DaaaahWhoosh So have I... Sort of - does Worldbuilding, here and Physics count as branching out?
sounds like it to me. I've been going through the main sites of SFF, RPG, and IPS recently, but I came in here because I'm always afraid to ask questions
20:06
@Mithrandir24601 if it was naught but WB previously then adding twice the base seems like branching out to me. =)
@GypsySpellweaver Fair enough then, I've extended to here and Physics over the past 2 or 3 months, but yeah, I've been at worldbuilding a while now :)
@DaaaahWhoosh You said that to the person who's never asked a question on SE... (except for the one thing I've put up on the Quantum Computing proposal)
@Mithrandir24601 Questions aren't everything. I've only ever asked one on M&TV and I still have +20K rep there. :P
To be fair, I've answered a few things on SFF, but in areas niche enough that I'm often the only answerer in that subject area :)
20:45
0
Q: When should I make eye contact with someone I intend to walk past?

DaaaahWhooshI am an adult male living in the US, in case it matters. Anyway, there's something I do when walking past people on a (not too busy) sidewalk or in a hallway, where I will make eye contact with them, smile and nod, and then look away. Often, they will do the same. It seems to me like the purpos...

NVZ
NVZ
@DaaaahWhoosh Street walk etiquette explained:
lol yeah, if anyone's a reputable authority on how to behave in social situations, it's Peter Parker.
though I guess he'd be more of a positive influence than Tony Stark
21:28
6
Q: What distinguishes a true, but negative, description from a judgment? Which are acceptable?

ArnoldFIn my question, originally titled "How to respond to a pushy vegan?", now titled "How to ask a vegan to stop telling me about veganism because I am not interested in it?", I described my two vegan coworkers who approach me at lunch to an annoying degree about how my diet contradicts their values....

 
1 hour later…
22:32
Hey y'all :)
Hey.
I'm sad.
Oh no, what's wrong?
Nothing serious. Just meta stuff.
Sad is probably the wrong word... disappointed?
But, hey, the pregnancy question is closed.
Let me catch up, I just got home a little bit back
I'm closing this for the time being to stall the stream of "don't" answers, Anoplexian. The problem with this question as it stands is that you're directly asking how to ask someone something that you know is impolite to ask; this is a bit of a paradox. You can resolve this by focusing on the problem you're trying to solve instead of your assumed solution (tactfully asking a tactless question) - for example, if your primary goal is to express congratulations to a friend or colleague, start with that; if your primary goal is to avoid planning exclusionary activities, start with that. — Shog9 ♦ 2 mins ago
22:39
Ooh, yippie :)
4
A: What distinguishes a true, but negative, description from a judgment? Which are acceptable?

HamletThese words are useful in that they indicate that the OP has strong feelings about this, and that the OP characterises these people in a certain way. That's useful info for anyone writing an answer. If there is bias involved in a question, one of the things answers might do is walk the OP throu...

Thoughts? Especially on how we can get answers that can pick apart bias.
22:54
@Hamlet You called me "Carina".
@Catija autocorrect
And fixed.
23:07
@Hamlet Honestly, I really get scared at that. I don't understand the argument that brevity is somehow better or that this question, which in its original form was one paragraph and a sentence is in any way detailed enough.
If we allow people the crutch of words like this, they will not do better. Clearly, this OP sees no need to actually describe their situation.
@Catija you can close the question for lacking detail.
I can. But there are many users on this site and none of them have done that at this point.
It's not exactly great optics for me to heavily edit and then mod hammer close a question when my meta answer to it is sitting at +2/-2
@Catija well...
Do you think that I'm wrong? The OP literally has more detail in this meta question than in their actual question.
Hi, OP here - I'm happy to answer calls to additional detail, as is clear from my providing additional detail
The issue, as I see it, is that my original question did not provide enough detail to support my use of the words "pushy" and "militant". Perhaps I should have been less off-the-cuff with my phrasing. When I wrote the question, I knew I was being descriptive.
23:17
Hey @ArnoldF when did you provide additional detail? The only detail that was added to your question I added.
You copy/pasted my comment on my top-level into the question?
and then deleted the comment chain :P
Those were my words
If someone asks for detail, you need to edit the question, not answer in a comment. That's what editing is for. Additionally, in my opinion, even that detail is not sufficient. As I've just finished saying, there is more detail in your meta question than in your actual question.
> Though I didn't elaborate on this in my original question, one of the two is proud of their activism, which includes rallies, picketing, etc. I meant to communicate that with this word.
@ArnoldF yeah. Comments are really hard to keep organised. If you can edit stuff into the original question, it's always better. It cuts down on the clutter
That is much more valuable information than calling them "militant".
That's what "militant" means
I didn't think it necessary.
23:19
@ArnoldF no, not really.
When I read militant, I think someone actually in the military.
...really?
There is no way to know that when you say "militant" you mean "one of the two is proud of their activism, which includes rallies, picketing, etc." You could have just as easily said "an activist"... and that wouldn't have been as much of a problem.
-2
Q: How to successfully thwart other peoples obnoxious behavior

Matt AWhenever I am in a public setting things quickly become unbearable once a loud obnoxious self righteous person sits near me. I don't Know how to effectively ignore their disruptive behavior and I also have a hard time shaking my fixation on it. Even If i put in ear plugs just being aware of their...

I'm sorry, but that comes off as being deliberately obtuse to me. "Militant" has a much broader definition.
Militant is a specifically negative term for someone who is an activist.
23:21
@ArnoldF yep. Always a good idea to elaborate. Especially since English isn't everyone's first language
This is veering off a good bit from the original question
which was whether or not those words should have been removed
I say "no, they should have been better-supported but are important to the question"
Specifically "pushy" (which I realize I am currently being) and "militant".
@ArnoldF ok, write an answer arguing that
I think you're trying to type too fast.
Where it can be read, instead of hiding it away in a chat conversation that no one will see
Hey again folks :)
23:27
Hey @Zizouz212 :D
@Zizouz212 Ugh, that attitude!
I know!
Hello people, hope the awkwardness has gone down a bit
THE AWKWARD WILL NEVER DIE!!!
23:41
OMG New person! SOOOO AWKWARD!!!
:(
It's ok it's just me
@Avantgarde isn't new.
;)
Have there been questions regarding dating advice? I'm guessing that'll happen
I think so
Or at least there was a meta post about it something I think
23:49
There was the guy talking about the lady's hair... though I don't think he ever noted what their relationship was.
Can that be closed as broad?
0
Q: Should I ask my parents if our insurance covers therapy?

banhfunI'm a 21 year-old college student who's currently working almost 1000 miles away from home for an internship. I don't know exactly why, but I am extremely unhappy with the current state of my life, and I believe that I have a lot of mental health problems surfacing that I should get addressed by ...


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